(Untitled)

[radugakracivaya]

I wrote a story you guys. It's really morbid but I like it so much I'm posting it here on Livejournal so you all can enjoy it (hopefully) with me. (It starts ad ends with the brackets). Feel free to help me proofread. I won't be offended by criticism

Comments

[spiraldownpour]

the sea, however frigidly
If you're saying the sea is frigid, then use "however frigid".

from when they
from where they

the stars which
You know the rules for which and that!

I like your style, and the composition has a great point/story.

[radugakracivaya]

Thank you. The style was inspired by Poe (I don't know how well I actually measure up to him, but I wrote this after I read two short stories by him), and I think the idea/point just came to me one day and I thought "Shit, that would be a great story." Normally in my writing I'm not so dark, but I wanted to have a certain mood here. Thanks for liking it (it took me long enough to write it).

Where is the "from when they" ? Sorry I would go back and search but I'm too lazy and you most likely remember where it is.

[radugakracivaya]

nvm I found it.