Castles in the Sand

[rachg82]

So far all my poetry has been about my mom, but with today being Father's Day, I decided to finally write one about my dad.

Comments

[tempertemper]

Oh gosh this one was really difficult for me to read because so much of it rings true for my non-relationship with my own father.

I know that he is the only dad I'll ever have.

I know that he'll probably never be the one I want,
nor the one I deserve.

I know I should stop waiting
for him to face me
and the truth.

THIS in particular.

And the thing about the buried heart and emotions. What a hard thing to live with that is.

I am coming to the point where I decided that this nothing relationship is better than beating my head against the wall of the half-relationship we once had.. but it's still impossible to reconcile that 'head' decision with my heart.

This is amazing:

When he took all her pictures down
like she had never been born,
I stopped & stared--the way passing drivers do
at a fatal car crash--
then gathered my nerves
and continued walking down the stairs
like nothing was wrong.

I sat down on the couch,
script in hand,
and read my lines.

♥

[rachg82]

I am coming to the point where I decided that this nothing relationship is better than beating my head against the wall of the half-relationship we once had.. but it's still impossible to reconcile that 'head' decision with my heart.

The heart is a jackass. Meanwhile I'm on the flip-side of your coin, unable to convince my own heart to stop dreaming that our half-relationship is better than nothing, and that someday he'll change for good.

And thank you as always for your cheerleading on my writing, bb. *hugs* I'm sorry your relationship with your father isn't the one you deserve.