Maybe you should put up a "HELP" button for post-facto bribes or ice cream. Some of your required reading seems like it could require an additional class in how to recover from classwork.
One of my college professors, with a pleased chuckle, told us that he'd named his computer "ROM DOS". He was less than pleased by the blank stares of his students in response.
This is true. While I do not find it entirely satisfying as an explanation, the same is probably true of any explanation (other than that it is a bug in the universe and here's a patch for it). So if you ever meet me you may claim your dollar. :)
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