Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S1 Children of the Gods
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Team friendship. Daniel/Sha're.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Written for entertainment purposes only.
Not Belonging
Doctor Daniel Jackson looked at the plate of food in front of him and wondered why he’d even bothered to come to the commissary for breakfast. There was a gnawing sensation in his gut but he knew it had little to do with hunger and everything to do with the fate of Sha’re. His wife had been taken as a host by a Goa’uld, a parasitic alien. Not just Sha’re but his brother-in-law Skaara, a young kid barely on the threshold of manhood.
It was his fault.
That was the stark truth of it. His fault. He had been the one who had decided to resurrect the buried Stargate on Abydos. His discovery of the cartouche with its myriad of gate addresses had pricked his curiosity. Curiosity. He had lost his wife because he had been curious to see whether any of the addresses actually worked. They had unburied the gate and began trying to establish a wormhole, naïvely excited that they might find another world to explore. He had been so sure with Ra defeated that there was no threat, had instituted the guard rotation at the gate simply to allay the concerns of the Abydonians. He had been as arrogant and blindly confident as a Goa’uld. He had been a fool.
He stirred the cereal in front of him listlessly. Colonel Jack O’Neill wouldn’t have made the same mistake that he had, he thought ignoring the slightly sulky edge to his inner voice. The military man would have left the gate buried probably pointing out that there were any number of threats out there that Daniel hadn’t considered. Only Jack hadn’t been with him on Abydos to offer any words of caution so Daniel had unburied the gate which brought his weary mind back to his original deduction; it was his fault Sha’re was gone.
Daniel put the spoon down and took off his glasses to rub at his blue eyes tiredly. He’d spent the night before in the temporary quarters at the base and hadn’t been able to sleep. He could pretend it had something to do with the strangeness of being within the confines of a mountain or the noise of the base alarms going off constantly but truthfully he knew the main reason for his insomnia was because he was haunted by the sight of Sha’re on the arm of Apophis. His marriage may have started from a misunderstanding but it had quickly evolved into a true love match. There were nights on Abydos when he simply watched her sleep and wondered that such a beautiful, sweet woman loved him. With Sha’re, for the first time in his life he had felt like he was important to someone, that he truly belonged somewhere. He shifted uncomfortably, aware that he most definitely felt like he didn’t belong in the commissary, or the base for that matter. His eyes drifted around the various tables to a group of Air Force men sat together exchanging banter and laughing. No, he definitely didn’t belong here. Unlike Jack.
He had seen it when they had arrived back from Abydos. Jack might have been forcibly recalled to active duty but there was no doubt he belonged amongst the throngs of military men. Jack just seemed to slip into the base’s rhythm with an ease that Daniel envied. Nobody was going to question whether Jack belonged. More than that, Daniel mused reaching for his coffee, whether Jack realised it or not, he was respected by the men around him including Hammond, the base commander; something else Daniel envied. Daniel had to admit, if only to himself, that there was just something about Jack that inspired confidence and he had to admire that about Jack even if he didn’t always agree with his approach or his methods. Maybe even instinctively Daniel wanted to believe in Jack too. His mind slipped back to the day before, to standing in front of the Stargate…
‘She’s out there somewhere, Jack.’ Daniel murmured almost helplessly.
‘I know, Daniel. So’s Skaara.’ Jack’s quiet words brought a flush to Daniel’s cheeks and reminded him that his wife had not been the only victim of his idiot notion to unbury the gate.
‘So what do we do?’ The tone was more plaintive than he’d have liked, more than one man asking another…maybe even more than one friend asking another.
‘We find them.’ Quiet words spoken with confidence and purpose and Daniel wanted to believe in them so much; too much.
‘Doctor Jackson, would you mind if I joined you?’
The slightly hesitant female voice nudged him from his reverie. He blinked up at the sight of the tall blonde standing beside his table her hands filled with a loaded tray. Doctor Samantha Carter…or should that be Captain Carter? The third member of the team they were calling SG1 besides Jack and himself.
‘Doctor Jackson?’ Sam prompted.
‘Uh, sorry.’ He gestured for her to sit and offered an apologetic smile. ‘I’m not really a morning person.’
She smiled a little shyly. ‘Oh-seven-thirty is early for a debriefing.’
He glanced over at the substantial breakfast as she started to tuck into it and searched for something to talk about. ‘So you’re a scientist, right?’
‘That’s right. Astrophysicist.’ She nodded.
‘And an Air Force Captain?’ He checked.
She nodded again, a hint of amusement creeping into her blue eyes at his incredulous tone.
‘Why?’ He blurted out.
Sam smiled. ‘I wanted to be an astronaut.’
‘Really?’
‘Really. Plus it’s kind of in the family and quite honestly the Air Force lets me play with some pretty cool toys.’
‘Like the Stargate.’ Daniel murmured.
‘Like the Stargate.’ She confirmed.
Something popped back into his head and his eyes widened a little. God, his brain had definitely been absent the past couple of days. ‘Jack said you got the Stargate to work.’
She smiled a little self-consciously. ‘Me and a whole lot of other people came up with the technical solution to enable us to dial it, yeah.’ Her blue eyes caught his stunned ones and she pointed her knife at him. ‘You actually got it to work when you cracked the code of what we actually had to dial.’
He blushed. ‘Anybody could have done it.’
‘Well, you did it,’ Sam said firmly, ‘and you got to go on the original mission.’
‘Only because I was expendable.’ Daniel pointed out. ‘Something I’m guessing they think you’re not.’ He paused. ‘I’m sorry…were you here when I was here before?’ He barely remembered any of the faces of the people who he’d worked with for the couple of weeks before he’d gone through the Stargate.
Sam shook her head. ‘A month before you arrived I was reassigned to the Pentagon to study alternative uses for the Stargate. General West thought Catherine Langford’s team wouldn’t succeed at discovering the seventh symbol. The civilian scientists were fully up to speed with the dialling program so…’ she shrugged. ‘I wasn’t even aware that the Stargate had been successfully activated until I was recalled by General West to try dialling alternate symbol combinations and that was only after the team who had returned from the original trip had been reassigned elsewhere.’
‘Reassigned?’ Daniel asked.
‘All of their mission reports recommended burying our gate.’ Sam shrugged. ‘I guess General West didn’t want them to know we were going to try again.’
‘Yeah, Jack said he was going to recommend burying the gate this end.’ He sighed. ‘I almost wish I hadn’t got it to work. Maybe Sha’re would still be…’ he gestured vaguely before he stared into his mug helplessly.
Sam swallowed the mouthful of food she was chewing and took a moment to consider her response. ‘I read in Colonel O’Neill’s mission report that Ra had a ship?’
‘Yes.’ Daniel nodded.
‘So it’s likely that these other Goa’ulds have ships too, that they don’t just use the Stargate.’
‘I guess.’ Daniel saw where she was headed and waved his mug at her. ‘But that’s not the point.’
‘Isn’t it?’ Sam said forking up another mouthful of sausage. ‘It seems to me sooner or later, with or without the Stargate, we would have come across these guys and at least with the Stargate we have the opportunity to learn as much as we can to defend ourselves.’
‘All I want is my wife back.’ Daniel confessed.
Sam’s eyes filled with compassion and she fell silent. He dropped his gaze and mentally kicked himself. He looked back up to see her glancing across the room at the table with the other Air Force personnel. She’d probably only sat with him to be polite…
‘If you want to join them…’ he began.
‘What?’ Sam looked at him confused.
‘If you want to join your colleagues,’ Daniel clarified, ‘I won’t mind.’
‘Actually, if it’s all the same to you, I’d prefer to stay here.’ Sam said and concentrated on her food.
Daniel’s brow creased and he glanced over at the table she’d been looking at. The group of men were laughing and from the gestures one of them was making it had something to do with the female form. His mind drifted back over some of the comments he’d overheard in the locker room. He hadn’t really been listening, too caught up in his own pain and guilt but if it was any indication of what she was subjected to on a regular basis, he really couldn’t understand why she stayed in the military. He looked back at the young Air Force Captain in front of him, at the way she was determinedly ignoring the table across the mess, considered the fact that she had chosen to sit with him. It couldn’t be easy being one of the few women on the base, especially when she was incredibly attractive and smart. Maybe he wasn’t the only one who was feeling like they didn’t belong. The thought was comforting in a weird way.
He took another gulp of coffee and his eyes strayed to a security man piling a tray high with food. The murmur of the conversation between the man and the server drifted over to Daniel. He was getting food for the prisoner…Teal’c; the Jaffa who had saved them on Chulak. The Jaffa must be feeling even more alienated than anybody else on base, Daniel considered ruefully, after all he was an alien. He felt a twinge of sympathy followed by a rush of anger and rubbed his head at his mixed emotions.
‘Do you think he was serious?’ He blurted out.
‘Huh?’ Sam looked up from her food bemused. ‘Who about what?’
Daniel gestured. ‘Do you think Jack was serious about including Teal’c in the team?’
‘I admit it kind of took me by surprise.’ Sam admitted.
‘Me too.’
Sam reached for her juice and shrugged. ‘You know the Colonel better than I do. What do you think?’
Daniel sighed. It was probable that Jack had been serious, Teal’c was an experienced warrior, just the kind of person Jack respected.
Sam read his conclusion on his open face. ‘It still has to be approved by the Pentagon and I can’t see them readily agreeing to let an alien have that kind of freedom.’
Daniel brightened for a moment. Of course, Jack would need approval; thank God for the military chain of command. He sobered. ‘I can’t see them readily agreeing to let an alien have that kind of freedom.’ Sam was right which meant…which meant that the alternative for Teal’c was probably going to be something altogether more unpleasant. Damn the military small mindedness!
‘I think he deserves better than being used as a lab rat.’ Sam said unconsciously echoing his own thoughts. ‘He did risk his own life to save us.’
‘Yes, he did.’ Daniel murmured. He sighed and pushed a hand through his floppy brown hair. ‘At least Jack would have someone on the team that he actually chose besides you, I mean.’
Sam lowered her fork and stared at him. ‘Where’d you get the impression the Colonel chose for me to be on the team?’
‘Well, you were with him when he came back to Abydos.’
‘General Hammond ordered my inclusion.’ Sam said quietly. ‘I got dumped on him.’ Her slightly startled expression gave away that she hadn’t meant to be so honest.
‘Me too.’ Daniel said.
‘No.’ Sam shook her head. ‘I was in the control room sorting out the address for Chulak on the computer when the Colonel spoke with the General. He supported your request and asked for you to be on SG1.’
Daniel was speechless. He’d been on his way to the General’s office to demand to be included in the mission to Chulak when Jack had appeared from nowhere and told him to gear up; that Hammond had decided to make him part of SG1 after all. The other man had said nothing, done nothing to indicate he had been part of the decision. Typical Jack. ‘Speak of the devil.’ He murmured catching sight of Jack entering the mess.
The Air Force Colonel strode across the room to their table oblivious to the looks from the other men in the mess as they sought to get a nod of acknowledgement from him. Instead, Jack’s brown gaze seemed zeroed in on his two new team members. He came to a stop beside the table and waved at Carter to sit back down.
‘At ease, Carter.’ Jack said slipping into the chair opposite her and next to Daniel. ‘You officially have permission not to keep jumping up every time I approach. The whole thing just makes me dizzy.’
‘Ah…yes, sir.’ Carter sat back down and took a deep breath.
Daniel repressed the urge to smile at the confusion in her blue eyes. He guessed Sam hadn’t come across a commanding officer like Jack before and from the small frown on her face hadn’t quite worked out how to handle him.
‘You kids ready for the debrief?’ Jack asked as he reached across the table and filched a strip of crispy bacon from Sam’s plate.
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam replied frowning as he crunched on her food. ‘Would you like me to get you some breakfast, sir?’
Jack smiled. ‘No, Captain. I’m good.’ He waved the end of the bacon at her. ‘I heard your computer thing came up with a couple of addresses?’
She nodded enthusiastically, her eyes lighting up. ‘I worked on it a little last night and tweaked the code on one of the subroutines…’ her voice trailed off at the Colonel’s hard glare. ‘Yes, sir. It came up with two addresses.’
Daniel wondered if Jack realised how much his ‘cut-to-the-chase’ attitude had crushed the young Captain. It was there in the dimming of her blue eyes and the set expression on her classically beautiful features. He had a horrible sneaking suspicion he looked the same way when Jack did it to him.
‘Sounds like the programme you wrote worked great.’ Daniel murmured and was pleased when she shot him a small smile of appreciation.
God help him, Jack thought, geek bonding. For the briefest moment, he felt excluded before he pushed the feeling away and covered his confusion by taking a moment to scan the room as he popped the rest of the bacon he held in his mouth. What the hell was he doing here, he thought for the umpteenth time. Sure, he’d been a little bored the last few months but retirement had its advantages; no regulations and no-one ordering him to lead a team of…of scientists, for crying out loud. He was back for a reason, he reminded himself, safety of the planet no less.
‘Any word on what will happen to Teal’c, sir?’ Sam asked.
Jack shook his head and swallowed the bacon. ‘Hammond was calling the Pentagon.’ He looked at them both and cleared his throat. ‘I realise my spur of the moment suggestion to have him on the team might have taken you both by surprise.’
‘I can’t imagine why you would say that.’ Daniel said dryly.
Jack shot him a look before the sound of a muffled giggle across the table had his glare turning towards the Captain. Her eyes skittered from his and back to Daniel. Jack followed her gaze and frowned at the smile he caught Daniel giving her. ‘Look, right now, he has better knowledge about what’s out there than we do. He obviously has military skills we could use. I think he could be an asset in the field and we owe him.’ He looked at the surprise on both their faces and deduced it was at his decision to explain why he wanted Teal’c on the team rather than his actual explanation. He sighed with exasperation. ‘We’re a team now. If Teal’c joins us we all have to make it work.’
‘Yes, sir.’ Sam nodded.
She would make it work if it came to it, Jack realised with relief. She might be a scientist but she understood orders unlike… ‘Daniel?’ He checked.
‘Jack, it’s your team.’ Daniel added quietly. ‘If you want Teal’c…’ he shrugged, ‘that’s preferable to him ending up in a cell being tortured for the rest of his life by the military.’
Jack stared at Daniel. He gave a brief nod to cover his own feeling of inadequacy in the face of the younger man’s generosity. ‘Well, if you kids have finished breakfast we should head to the briefing room. It might look good if SG1 turned up before SG2.’ He said firmly pushing his chair back to stand.
Daniel and Sam obediently got to their feet to follow him out.
‘Jack.’ Daniel murmured as Jack slid his card through the reader at the elevator.
‘Daniel.’ Jack replied as they got in the cramped compartment.
‘How much did you bet Kawalsky that we’d get there first?’
‘Now why would you…’ Jack stopped at the knowing look on Daniel’s face. He saw Carter trying to hide a smile and he sighed. ‘Ten bucks.’ He admitted as the doors slid shut.
fin.