Fanfiction: Embers
Fandom: Stargate SG1
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S5 Between Two Fires
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Janet friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Other.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Written for entertainment purposes only.
Embers
Her lab had always been Samantha Carter’s sanctuary. It was her space; her territory. Each piece of equipment had been placed where Sam wanted. She knew the contents of every cupboard and every drawer. She knew without looking that the device from P8Y543 was in pieces on the right hand bench and that the device from P2R419 was hooked up and undergoing a simulation on the left hand bench. Another three strange looking pieces of technology found on three different planets by three different SG teams were lined up to undergo the same. The central bench held the remnants of a naquadah generator that SG16 had somehow managed to break and Sam allowed it to hold her attention.
She meticulously set aside anything that could be reused; the generators were expensive and any usable parts would offset the build of a new generator. She immersed herself in the mindless task; assessing, discarding, checking. If the lab had always been her sanctuary, her work had always been her salvation.
She hadn’t been home in seven days. Seven days since SG1 had returned from Tollana; since they had heard the fragmented communication from Narim that the Tollans - an ally more advanced than Earth - had fallen to the Goa’uld. Sam continued sorting and cataloguing even though her mind couldn’t help returning to the communication over and over.
It had been cut short; the Tollans had been trying to flee in ships which were being shot down and destroyed by the Goa’uld. It was possible that Narim’s communication system had simply gone down in the attack; possible that she would still hear from him. Yet a part of Sam knew he was gone; a casualty of the war with the Goa’uld.
She had been fond of Narim. He had been a good man; kind and thoughtful. Maybe he had been blindly naïve about the inherent infallibility of his own government and too obvious in his admiration for her, but he had been courageous at the end. He had chosen to stand up to the Goa’uld; to prevent his people from becoming collaborators to the death and destruction the Goa’uld would have wrought including the annihilation of Earth.
Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty at the part SG1 had played in Tollana’s downfall. Although Narim had taken the first step in warning them that the late Tollan leader, Omak, had felt Earth was in danger, they had pushed Narim at every turn in exploring why. The Tollan’s surprise change in policy, their offer to provide them with ion cannons in exchange for trinium…it had all been too good to be true. With Narim realising Omak had been potentially murdered and the knowledge that the Curia’s official records had been altered, they had found the evidence to support their suspicions. The Goa’uld had found a shield technology to withstand the Tollans’ ion cannon defences and Tollana was threatened with destruction unless they built the Goa’uld bombs utilising the phase-shift technology. Their old enemy Tanith had been instrumental in the plot and Earth was to have been one of the first targets for the weapons. Narim had destroyed the warehouse containing the bombs and the consequences of his action had been immediate; the Goa’uld had attacked.
It wasn’t SG1’s fault, Sam reminded herself briskly as she reached for a small circuit board with a pair of pliers. The team had only acted to protect Earth and who knew how many other planets. In the end they had done nothing wrong but it was hard to feel that they had done something right with Tollana’s fall.
The loss of their ally was not good news and had shaken the SGC and its chain of command. While Tollana’s assistance had never fallen into the realm of ‘helpful’ given their strict policy on non-interference with less advanced civilisations, Sam equated their alliance to be similar to that of a safety net. It had been good to know they were there just in case they were ever needed. That safety net was gone, and while Earth had other safety nets given Tollana had never been its only ally, it felt like they were suddenly more exposed. It didn’t help that it was incredibly scary that Tollana had fallen even though it was more advanced than Earth.
The Pentagon was demanding answers and SG1 had few to give them; Tanith was working for an unnamed Goa’uld who was evidently rising to power in the wake of Apophis’s defeat but that was about all they knew. Their superiors had been seriously displeased that SG1 had not focused on securing the ion cannon technology before the demise of Tollana but as Colonel O’Neill had pointed out, the technology no longer worked against the Goa’uld and it was worthless. At least, General Hammond had understood.
Sam finished dismantling the generator. She had salvaged as much as she could. She reached for a box and carefully packed up the usable pieces. There was a rap on her lab door and Sam kept silent. Her team-mates, Daniel Jackson and Teal’c, had both stopped by a few times in the past week to commiserate about Tollana but Sam wasn’t ready to talk about it.
The door opened despite her lack of answer and Sam looked up in annoyance. Her irritated blue gaze landed on her CO. She guessed it was his turn to attempt the pep talk.
‘Carter.’ Jack left the door open behind him and walked in without waiting for her permission. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing a Simpsons t-shirt on top emblazoned with the word ‘D’oh!’ and a leather jacket. She could see the thin chain of his silver dog-tags glinting around his neck. He was obviously dressed to go home.
She wrenched her gaze back to her task. ‘Sir.’
‘Do you know what time it is?’ Jack asked pointedly.
Sam didn’t have to glance at her watch. She knew her official working day had ended over an hour before. ‘There’s quite a back-log of work to get through before our next mission, sir.’
‘Carter…’
She almost winced at his unhidden exasperation. OK, no pep talk, Sam realised as a flicker of panic entered her gut. He was just bypassing pep talk and going for an all out attack strategy.
‘…our next mission is four days away.’ Jack pointed out ruthlessly. ‘Pack it up.’
Maybe she could pretend his words were a suggestion or try an offensive move of her own. ‘I will as soon as the simulation is completed on this sonic device discovered on P2R419, sir. It’s fascinating really. It works…’
‘Ahk!’ Jack held up a finger and she had lost. ‘That was an order; pack it up. You have one hour to leave the base and I don’t want to see your name on the entry log until oh-seven-hundred tomorrow. Understood?’
Sam’s heart sank; she changed tactics switching from the professional to the personal. ‘Sir, I really need to do this.’ Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding.
His expression softened and he sighed, rubbing a hand over his short crop of grey hair. ‘Carter, you’ve been in this lab for seven days.’ He stated firmly. ‘I’m not the only one who’s noticed.’
‘Oh.’ Sam flushed. That meant either General Hammond or Janet Fraiser had raised it with him, she realised with embarrassment.
Jack hovered awkwardly. ‘Look…’ he began.
Oh God, thought Sam, now he was going to try the pep talk. She looked away from him, trying to think how to make him stop.
‘I know things have been, you know, tough, with,’ Jack waved a hand vaguely in the air by his head, ‘the Tollans,’ he got out eventually, ‘and…’
‘I’m fine, sir.’ Sam insisted, cutting him off and glaring at him.
They stared at each other.
‘OK.’ Jack tapped his fist on the bench. ‘I think Daniel and Teal’c planned to watch a movie later. Why don’t you join them?’
Sam shook her head with a small smile. ‘I already turned them down.’ Daniel Jackson had been by at lunch time with the invite. He’d been vague about Jack’s plans but by the sound of it the Colonel wasn’t going to be there. He’d been doing less and less with them all outside of work ever since the incident with the computer entity. She understood his reasoning; he’d been brutally reminded that he needed to stay objective when he’d had to shoot her. He’d taken a step back and had been more professional with them all since, especially her - and she was so not going down that line of thinking.
‘So, change your mind.’ Jack said, startling her out of her thoughts.
‘I’m not sure I can take another Bond film.’ Sam muttered out loud as she stared down into the box of parts.
‘Ah.’ Jack pulled a face. ‘Bond. They still on that?’
‘Teal’c’s fascinated by Jaws.’ Sam said.
Jack’s lips curved faintly. ‘Isn’t that a different movie?’
Sam couldn’t help smiling back at his teasing which gave away he knew she meant the Bond villain and not the shark. ‘Thank you for the suggestion, sir, but I think I’ll just head home.’ Maybe she could work on her bike; strip it down and rebuild it again.
‘OK.’ Jack gave her an encouraging smile. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He was gone before she could reply, leaving a faint hint of his cologne in his wake.
Sam debated about whether she could get away with ignoring his order. Probably not. Not if he’d been instructed to do something about her remaining in her lab. If she stayed, she might be getting him into trouble along with herself. She packed up. She had second thoughts as she unhooked the simulation; as she put away the other devices. She was having fifth or sixth thoughts when her hand hit the light switch and the lab was plunged into darkness.
The female locker room wasn’t empty; Sam could hear the showers running. She stripped, dumped her uniform and headed for a cubicle.
‘Sam.’ Janet waved a yellow sponge at her over the shoulder height wall.
‘Janet.’ Sam turned the water on and stood underneath the spray. She was barely aware of Janet finishing up and leaving. Sam showered quickly and headed back to the lockers.
Janet was already dressed in cream jeans and a green sweater. She sat on a bench, drying her hair. She waited until Sam was dressed in a similar fashion before she spoke. ‘Heading home?’
‘Yep.’ Sam said shortly, reaching for her boots.
Janet sighed. ‘Sam…’
‘I’m fine.’ Sam insisted, turning away.
Janet shot her an understanding look. ‘Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to join Cassie and me for dinner? We’d thought we’d try that new Italian on Harper.’
‘No. Thanks.’ Sam shook her head.
‘She’d love to see you.’ Janet said without looking at Sam. There was a faint edge of desperation to her voice.
Sam looked at her friend inquiringly. ‘What’s up?’
Janet looked at her a little chagrined. ‘She broke up with Dominic three days ago and, honestly? I’m at the end of my rope on sympathising.’
Sam sighed, torn between wanting to duck out of the meal and feeling an obligation to have dinner and comfort Cassie. ‘The new Italian?’
Janet nodded.
‘OK.’ Sam tried a smile. ‘Sounds good.’
‘No, it sounds awful.’ Janet corrected wryly. ‘But I appreciate it and I know Cassie will too.’
Sam nodded understandingly. She reached back into her locker for the small leather purse she carried and shut the door firmly.
It was only dinner. What could happen?
o-O-o
Daniel looked morosely at the DVD cover of Roger Moore and back at Teal’c’s expectant face. ‘You know,’ he said, taking hold of his courage, ‘I think we’re getting in something of a rut.’
Teal’c raised an eyebrow.
‘Repetitive.’ Daniel explained. ‘We keep doing the same thing rather than trying something new.’
‘I see.’ Teal’c murmured, his deep voice rumbling low in his chest.
‘I don’t know,’ Daniel threw the DVD on Teal’c’s bed and gestured at it, ‘don’t you ever want to try something, I don’t know, different?’
The eyebrow again.
‘What did you have in mind, Daniel Jackson?’ Teal’c asked, clasping his hands behind his back.
Daniel shrugged. He and Teal’c had found themselves spending more and more time together outside of SG1’s official duties and missions. Movie night was rapidly becoming a weekly event with just the two of them. Jack rarely joined them. He had reverted to his practice of leaving the base during SG1’s off-duty hours just as he had during the first few months of the team working together. Daniel appreciated the reason why Jack wanted to take a step back and get some perspective - thinking he’d killed a team-mate, especially when in love with that team-mate, was bound to be hard to come to terms with, but Daniel felt the loss of the other man’s presence keenly and he figured Teal’c felt the same although he doubted the Jaffa would ever admit it.
Sam had become almost as bad as Jack. Not in leaving the base - conversely, she never left the place - but definitely in avoiding social interaction. She had attended a couple of the movie nights in Teal’c’s quarters though. The three of them had watched old Bond films together curled up on Teal’c’s floor with big bowls of popcorn. Still, Sam had refused the evening’s festivities and Daniel didn’t think it was entirely down to her wanting to avoid talking about what had happened with the Tollans. His eyes strayed back to the DVD.
‘I did find the fighting in a ring of jello most intriguing.’ Teal’c said.
Daniel looked at him sharply and found his friend gazing back at him serenely with a wicked twinkle in the dark depths of his eyes. ‘Intriguing.’ Daniel agreed dryly. It was one word to describe it. ‘I was thinking of something less…’
‘Intriguing.’ Teal’c supplied.
He had been about to say sticky, but intriguing would do. Daniel sighed. ‘How about we just head out and grab something to eat?’
Teal’c inclined his head. ‘I will change.’
Daniel gestured over his shoulder. ‘I’ll wait for you at the elevator.’
He left swiftly and headed to the lockers to change into civilian gear. Teal’c had seemed as pleased as he was at the change in scenery, Daniel mused as he finished up and made his way to the elevators. The Jaffa was still banned from going off-base without an escort following his brainwashing by Apophis. There was no doubt Teal’c had recovered but the ban had not been rescinded. Maybe he should speak to General Hammond, Daniel considered, frowning; and if he couldn’t convince the SGC commander to ease up maybe Jack could.
He sighed as the elevator delivered him back to Teal’c’s floor and crossed his arms over his chest, wrinkling the heavy denim of his jacket and the cotton of his shirt underneath as he leaned up against a wall and waited. He pushed his glasses up his nose and wondered at his own restlessness. He just hadn’t been in the mood for Bond, he assured himself. It had nothing to do with him questioning his place again in the wake of the Tollana tragedy. He wasn’t even sure why he was questioning his place. It wasn’t as though he had done anything very much.
Or maybe that was the point.
He heard footsteps and straightened as Teal’c reached him. The Jaffa was dressed in a brown tweed suit with an orange shirt and clashing purple tie. He wore a matching orange bandana over his head which covered his Jaffa tattoo and atop that he had placed a brown baseball cap.
Daniel felt positively conservative by comparison in his more muted colours of blue plaid and denim. He cleared his throat. ‘Ready?’
‘I am ready to dine.’ Teal’c agreed.
They left the base unhurriedly and climbed into Daniel’s car together. He set off in the same unhurried fashion.
‘Did you have a specific location in mind, Daniel Jackson?’ Teal’c asked eagerly.
Daniel glanced sideways at him. ‘Not really. Did you?’
‘Nyan informed me some days ago of a new restaurant on Harper Street serving Turkish cuisine.’
‘You want to try it?’ Daniel asked.
Teal’c nodded. ‘You did express a desire to try something different, Daniel Jackson.’
‘I did, didn’t I?’ Daniel said amused. ‘OK. Turkish cuisine it is then.’ He had actually travelled through Turkey one summer when he’d been part of a dig. It was a long time ago, Daniel mused, and one Turkish meal wouldn’t kill him.
He turned onto the main road and eased into the busy traffic. ‘It’s a shame Jack and Sam can’t join us.’ He commented absently.
‘Indeed.’ Teal’c said with so much feeling that Daniel looked at him surprised before he turned back to the road.
‘I was wondering if you’d noticed it too.’ Daniel said quietly.
Teal’c didn’t reply.
‘I hate it.’ Daniel blurted out. He didn’t look at the Jaffa but he suspected a raised eyebrow. ‘It’s just…it’s…hard.’
‘I believe it has also been difficult for O’Neill to find a balance in objectivity since he believed he killed Major Carter.’ Teal’c murmured.
‘You think he will?’
‘It is not easy when bonds have already formed.’ Teal’c admitted, and Daniel knew he was referring to Jack and Sam. ‘Yet there is no question such objectivity is required in battle.’
Daniel sighed. ‘You really think so?’
‘Had I restrained my emotions in regards to Tanith,’ Teal’c said darkly, ‘I would not have been taken by surprise on Vorash and brainwashed by Apophis into betraying my very beliefs.’
It was the first time Teal’c had ever spoken of what had happened openly. Daniel wasn’t sure what to say; if he was meant to say anything.
‘You wanted to avenge Sho’nac, Teal’c.’ Daniel said comfortingly. ‘And I get the impression that Jaffa revenge is part of the code of justice for your people in the same way trial by jury is for us. We all understood.’
‘It does not change what occurred.’ Teal’c pointed out.
Daniel raised one hand from the steering wheel. ‘You shouldn’t feel guilty, Teal’c.’
‘I do not.’ Teal’c said firmly.
Daniel didn’t believe him but he wouldn’t call him on it. ‘You haven’t said much since we got back from Tollana. About Tanith, I mean.’ Finding out the Goa’uld spy had survived the destruction of Apophis’s fleet had come as an unwelcome surprise.
‘I am glad he lives.’ Teal’c’s dark eyes glittered. ‘One day, I will have my vengeance.’
‘OK then.’ Daniel pulled a face. He guessed Teal’c’s newfound reasoning on objectivity hadn’t changed his mind on the whole Jaffa revenge gig. ‘Has Sam talked to you? I mean, about Narim and that whole Tollan thing?’
‘Major Carter has not.’ Teal’c sounded downhearted.
‘She hasn’t talked to me either.’ Daniel commented.
Teal’c adjusted the position of his large frame in the small seat. Daniel sighed. He knew it was Sam’s usual MO to withdraw until she was ready but on top of the professionalism kick she and Jack were on, he couldn’t help but feel she was just withdrawing from them too.
‘I know the objectivity thing is important, I do.’ Daniel said. ‘I remember how I felt when I thought I’d given the order to destroy the submarine with you and Jack onboard during the Replicator incident, it’s just…we’re family and…’ his voice trailed away. How could he express how much he feared he was losing the only family he had without actually losing them at all? ‘I just miss them.’ He said finally.
‘As do I, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c assured him. ‘As do I.’
o-O-o
Jack rang the doorbell and stepped back from the small townhouse with its pretty façade. It was a nice house but Jack wasn’t there to admire the décor. He patted his hair as though to check it was still in place and turned to look out at the road with a grateful appreciation. He didn’t fool himself; had the Tollans - had Narim - not stepped up to the plate, it could have been Earth which had been destroyed and not Tollana. He knew it was cold but he didn’t regret what had happened; he couldn’t deny that he was happy it was them and not Earth.
Carter was struggling with it. He knew that, feeling a pang of guilt at the way he had forced her to leave the base even if it had been triggered by Hammond pointedly telling Jack that perhaps as her CO, he should encourage Carter to take a break. He knew losing herself in her work was her way of coping. She’d had a close friendship with Narim and, although he knew she hadn’t returned the guy’s open adoration of her, she had been fond of him. It didn’t help that she had lost another alien friend a few months before - a friend Jack didn’t like to think about given Carter had hidden him in her home for weeks.
Carter would eventually confide in Daniel and Teal’c, Jack considered tiredly. She had never confided in Jack about that type of stuff even during the period when they’d both known that they’d loved each other beyond their bond as team-mates and hoped for more at some vague future date when he wasn’t her CO. Moving on, he reminded himself tersely. They’d gotten too close but they had reinstated their professional relationship and if everything was somewhat awkward between them on a personal level while they made the shift, Jack was sure they’d both get used it again eventually. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t register that the door behind him had opened.
‘Jack!’
The feminine voice had him smiling and he turned to smile at the brunette in the doorway appreciatively.
‘Amy.’ Jack handed her the bottle of wine he carried and she accepted it with a grin. ‘You look great.’ She did too; the red cotton dress was close-fitting and accentuated her curves in all the right places.
She leaned forward and kissed him briefly. ‘Come on in.’ Amy led the way inside.
Jack closed the door behind him. It wasn’t the first time he had been a guest. He had been inside three times during the past month since he had started dating her after deciding in a moment of epiphany that apart from moving back to a professional only relationship with Carter, he was only going to really move on with his life if he tried building something real outside of the SGC. The last date he and Amy had shared a couple of nights before, he’d come for dinner and stayed for breakfast, and that fact had him alternating somewhere between panic and delight.
Amy Castle was an old friend and once Jack had called her for drinks, they had slipped easily into what he termed a casual arrangement. They’d agreed up front that they’d keep it light. Amy had just come out of a divorce and although Jack hadn’t explained the detail of the complicated situation with Carter, he had hinted to Amy that he had his own baggage. He figured she had assumed he was referring to his own failed marriage.
He had to admit that he had enjoyed the past month even if he had felt pangs of guilt at times about Carter. It had been less awkward than he had anticipated forming a relationship with Amy. She was a good woman; compassionate, warm, friendly. She had built her own small interior design business and had an independent streak that Jack admired. She was a great mother - she had made it clear that Daisy, her daughter came first, and Jack could respect that.
It turned out they’d had more in common than just being old neighbours. They both loved hockey and the Simpsons; old movies and opera. It was easy being with Amy. No complications or hassles. No aliens or Stargates. Just a female companionship that he hadn’t known he had missed until he started to date Amy. They were good together. He liked being with her enough that while he didn’t mind that there were no more plans beyond their next date, he found himself surprisingly comfortable with the idea that there could be plans one day.
Amy finished putting the wine away and walked back up to where he was lounging over her breakfast bar. She smiled broadly, her brown eyes lit up with pleasure. She leaned in and kissed him again. ‘Thank you.’
Jack shrugged. He figured they’d both enjoy a glass later. She wiped the smudge of lipstick she had left on the corner of his mouth, grinned and picked up her purse. He took hold of the wrap he spotted and helped her into it.
‘You decided on where we’re having dinner?’ He asked, smoothing his hands over her shoulders.
‘Well, my assistant couldn’t stop talking about that new place on Harper.’ Amy said, turning in his arms. ‘That OK?’
He dropped another light kiss on her lips. He’d had no idea there was a new place on Harper. ‘OK with me.’
They walked out of the house and she locked up. He helped her into his truck and went around to the driver’s side. Amy didn’t live too far from the centre of town and Jack quickly made the trip to the restaurant. They were in the middle of a debate about whether Sideshow Bob was a better villain than Mr Burns when Amy directed him to turn into the small parking lot at the back. He skipped out and was by her door before she could get it fully open. They made their way into the restaurant holding hands.
A waiter signalled he would be with them in a moment. Jack breathed in the heavenly scent of food and felt his stomach growl in hungry anticipation. Nice, he thought as he took in the cosy table settings and friendly ambience. The waiters were all smiling; the traditional music was muted. It was a perfect choice for a quiet dinner for two.
The door chimed behind them and Jack automatically glanced over his shoulder. He froze at the sight of the newcomers who equally froze at the sight of him and his date. Amy sensed his tension immediately and turned to look in the same direction.
Daniel recovered first. ‘Jack.’
‘Daniel.’
There was an uncomfortable silence.
‘Jack?’ Amy prompted him with a laugh.
Jack took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He gave her a reassuring smile. ‘You remember my telling you about my team?’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘Well, this is Doctor Daniel Jackson and…Murray.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Guys, this is Amy Castle.’
Daniel’s hand immediately shot out and Amy let go of Jack’s to shake it. Teal’c settled for bowing his head.
‘It’s nice to meet you.’ Amy smiled warmly. ‘Jack talks about you all the time.’
‘He does?’ Daniel’s gaze lightened with amusement at Jack’s discomfort as his blue eyes met Jack’s.
Jack flushed at the knowing look in Daniel’s. In comparison to some of the light-hearted stories he had told Amy about the team, he hadn’t told them anything about her.
‘You have another team-mate as well, right?’ Amy asked, peering over their shoulders. ‘He isn’t with you?’
‘He?’ Daniel’s eyebrows disappeared up his forehead.
Teal’c frowned. ‘Our team-mate Samantha Carter is not with us.’
Amy shot a look at Jack. ‘Oh. I didn’t realise.’
‘My mistake,’ Jack jumped in hastily, ‘I probably didn’t even think to mention Carter was, well, you know.’
‘A woman? Well, if you do insist on calling her Carter all the time.’ Amy said with a laugh.
Jack smiled weakly. ‘So,’ he gestured at his two team-mates, ‘I thought you guys were watching Bond.’
‘We thought we would do something different.’ Daniel explained. ‘Nyan suggested this place.’
‘Ah.’ Jack rocked back on his heels and wondered how he got out of having to invite Daniel and Teal’c to join them.
‘My assistant recommended it.’ Amy said brightly.
Daniel smiled as Jack squirmed. ‘Well, we’ll try it another time and go somewhere else. Leave you to enjoy your evening.’
Amy patted Jack’s arm. ‘They don’t have to do that, do they, Jack?’
Jack sighed and gave into the inevitable. ‘Why don’t you join us?’
‘Thank you for the invitation, O’Neill,’ Teal’c placed a hand on Daniel’s shoulder to stop him from interrupting, ‘but we do not wish to intrude on what was clearly intended to be a private meal.’ He turned and inclined his head respectfully. ‘It was pleasant meeting you, Amy Castle.’
‘And you.’ Amy said. She gestured at the two men. ‘Both of you.’
‘Have a nice evening.’ Daniel’s eyes were on Jack as he made his parting shot and left.
Jack watched them go with relief. He turned back to Amy to find her looking at him with open amusement. He was saved from having to immediately explain as the waiter showed them to a table.
Jack opened the menu and gazed at the contents, determined to avoid the conversation he knew was coming. ‘So, this all looks good.’
‘You hadn’t told them about us?’ Amy asked bluntly.
He lowered the menu and took in her wry smile and teasing expression. ‘Ah, no.’ He admitted. He fiddled with the salad knife. ‘It’s not…’ he stopped and cleared his throat, ‘it’s just…’
‘Jack.’ Amy reached across the table and snagged his hand. ‘You don’t have to explain.’
‘I don’t?’ Jack asked surprised.
‘We’re having fun, aren’t we?’ Amy pointed out, gently. Her fingers rubbed against his.
He turned his hand over and clasped hers. ‘We are.’
‘Then, let’s eat.’ Amy said firmly. She squeezed his hand and let go, turning her full attention back to the menu.
Jack looked at her for a long moment and turned his own attention to the menu without seeing a word of what was written. No recriminations over the fact that he hadn’t told his closest friends about her. No worrying whether it had upset her or whether he should apologise. It was that uncomplicated; that easy with Amy.
His stomach churned.
He wondered whether he should tell Carter about Amy given Daniel and Teal’c knew even if it had been an accident. Not that he figured they would tell Carter, he just didn’t want her to find out in a similar way. His blood literally froze at the idea. But, how to tell Carter? It wasn’t just something he could drop into conversation and did she really need to know? He was her CO; he didn’t have to tell her. But it was more complicated than that which was why it was going to be difficult.
He repressed a sigh and tried to focus on the menu. Yep: complicated and difficult. That described his relationship with Carter perfectly.
o-O-o
Sam sat on a stool in her lab, tired and miserable, staring sightlessly at the simulation running on her computer monitor. She rubbed her nose, her mind drifting back to the previous evening…
Sam waved Cassie goodbye as she watched Janet’s car disappear down the road. She gave a tired sigh and rubbed her forehead where she could feel the beginnings of a headache. No wonder Janet had been desperate for back-up, Sam thought wryly. Cassie was heartbroken; she would never love again, never have another boyfriend - the usual teenage angst that followed break-ups. Sam had reminisced about her own first boyfriend as had Janet. God, it had been so much simpler then, Sam considered as she opened the driver’s door and climbed inside. She had just fallen for a cute guy without all the worry of whether it was allowed or whether he would end up shooting her…or she would end up shooting him.
She locked the car doors absently and threw her purse on the passenger seat. She reached for her CD stash. She was in the mood for something other than the soft rock she had playing. She exchanged it for a boy band CD she would deny she owned under threat of torture and nodded as the first upbeat pop song played from the speakers. She stowed the rest of her CDs and looked briefly out the windshield to check the road.
Her eyes caught on the sign for the Turkish restaurant across the road. It looked interesting. The front door opened and an older couple stepped out hand in hand. Cute, Sam thought whimsically before her body tensed in recognition. Her mouth fell open as she watched as the attractive brunette slid a hand into the back pocket of Jack’s jeans in a blatantly possessive gesture. Their attention was on each other but Sam ducked down and prayed he didn’t see her.
Her heart was hammering in her chest as she peeked and saw a glimpse of red disappearing behind the restaurant in the direction of its parking lot. Sam gunned the engine, slammed the car into gear and drove away hurriedly…
She had to get over it, Sam thought determinedly. There was no way she was going to sulk over the Colonel being with another woman like she was some teenager. Jack wasn’t hers and in truth he never had been hers. He was a free man; single. He had every right to date whomever he wanted. They were both being completely professional and had put their inappropriate feelings behind them. It wasn’t as though they could ever pursue them.
Then why did it hurt so much that he was with someone else, Sam mused. She sighed loudly and shook her head furiously.
She was an adult; he was an adult. She could be pleased that he had moved on and found someone to share his life outside of the madness of their working lives. She was happy that he was happy.
Right.
She pressed her lips together and hesitantly opened a drawer in the desk. The Tollan emotional recorder stared back at her. She took it out and turned it over in her hands. She sighed and switched it on.
A wash of love rushed over her; her skin breaking out in goose-bumps. Love and attraction and joy. She lit up the room for him.
She switched it off, unable to continue. Narim had loved her and it felt cheap somehow given his death to use his feelings to make herself feel better about losing another man’s affection.
‘Major Carter.’ Teal’c’s quiet call had her head jerking up in surprise.
‘Teal’c.’ Sam pushed the recorder into the drawer. She realised belatedly that her cheeks were wet. She turned away and scrubbed at them.
A handkerchief appeared over her shoulder. She smiled and accepted it. She blew her nose before. ‘Sorry.’
‘There is no need to apologise, Major Carter.’ Teal’c replied calmly. ‘I believe he loved you a great deal.’
Sam closed her eyes. ‘I miss him.’ The words escaped her before she had the sense to catch them. And she winced because they weren’t about Narim at all and he deserved so much better than that.
‘There are many sacrifices in a war,’ Teal’c said kindly, ‘some are harder to bear than others.’
Sam nodded. She blew her nose again; wiped her eyes and turned around. ‘Thank you, Teal’c.’
He bowed his head.
A rap at the door had them both looking in unison toward the doorway. Daniel stood there, half-in and half-out, indecision written all over his intelligent features.
‘Hey.’ He said. ‘I, er, just wanted to see if you were up for breakfast?’
‘Sounds good.’ Sam said. ‘Why don’t you guys go on ahead? I’ll be there in a minute.’ She waited until they left before she made her way to the ladies’ cloakroom and washed away the evidence of her tears.
Sam made her way to the elevator. Breakfast with the guys would be good, she thought. She couldn’t hide away in her lab forever. The elevator arrived and she stepped into it. She almost backed away at the sight of Jack leaning against the back wall but he looked up and saw her.
She stiffened her spine. ‘Sir.’
‘Carter.’ Jack straightened.
They stood in silence for a split second as the elevator doors closed.
‘So.’ Jack cleared his throat. ‘I checked the logs. You managed to stay away.’
Sam bit her lip. ‘Actually, Janet and I took Cassie out for a meal. She and Dominic broke up.’
‘Yes!’ Jack clenched his fists in a small dance of victory.
Sam shot him a look.
‘Sorry,’ Jack smiled, clearly not sorry at all, ‘did I say that out loud?’
‘She’s heartbroken, sir.’ Sam admonished him. She dithered about whether to say anything and decided she should just say it; get it out in the open, let him know she knew.
‘Sir.’
‘Carter.’
Sam waved at him. ‘After you, sir.’
‘No, no.’ Jack motioned back at her. ‘After you.’ He crossed his arms over his green BDU shirt and looked at her.
‘I, er, well, we had dinner at the Italian place on Harper.’ Sam saw him tense and knew he knew where she was going. ‘I, um, I, er, I saw you leaving the Turkish restaurant across the street.’
There was a streak of colour flooding across his cheeks. He sighed and looked everywhere but at her. ‘Carter…’
‘It’s none of my business, sir.’ Sam said and winced at the loudness of her voice. ‘I just thought that you should know, that well, I know.’
Jack’s eyes shot to hers before they fell away again. She turned away and stared up at the floor indicator.
He fidgeted restlessly. ‘Awkward, huh?’
‘It’s getting there.’ Sam said fervently, wishing she could take the last few minutes back.
Jack rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
Sam gathered her courage, ‘I’m happy for you.’ Her eyes were pinned to the wall and she missed his brief look of disappointment at her words.
He sighed and changed position. He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘So. Where are you headed?’
‘Breakfast.’ Sam explained. ‘Daniel and Teal’c should already be there.’
‘Mind if I join you?’ Jack asked softly.
She glanced at him. She knew if she said yes he would leave them to it and part of her wanted to be that mean and exclude him; to try and get him to feel as hurt as she did. She felt her chest tighten. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. And maybe he had found someone else to love, but they were still friends, still team-mates. Did she really want to risk losing that too? She shook her head, smiled and saw him relax in response. ‘That would be great.’
He smiled; one of the cute lop-sided smiles that she loved.
They walked into the mess together; got their breakfasts and headed for the table where Daniel and Teal’c were already sat eating, debating a report. Sam noticed Daniel’s pleased look as they both sat down and the conversation turned to their next mission and how SG17 had brought back a small purple-spotted chicken from P9R427 to study.
Half-way through Daniel’s spiel on the importance of the chicken in 427’s history, Sam glanced up and her gaze careened straight into Jack’s. She looked down quickly, her heart pounding. Had she seen…? No. He had moved on. He didn’t see her that way anymore. He had someone else. She risked another look. He was teasing Daniel about the chicken, his attention elsewhere. She had imagined it, Sam thought determinedly: she had just imagined it.
fin.
Series: Aftershocks
TAG to Episode: S5 Between Two Fires
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Sam/Janet friendship. Sam/Jack UST. Jack/Other.
Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended. Written for entertainment purposes only.
Embers
Her lab had always been Samantha Carter’s sanctuary. It was her space; her territory. Each piece of equipment had been placed where Sam wanted. She knew the contents of every cupboard and every drawer. She knew without looking that the device from P8Y543 was in pieces on the right hand bench and that the device from P2R419 was hooked up and undergoing a simulation on the left hand bench. Another three strange looking pieces of technology found on three different planets by three different SG teams were lined up to undergo the same. The central bench held the remnants of a naquadah generator that SG16 had somehow managed to break and Sam allowed it to hold her attention.
She meticulously set aside anything that could be reused; the generators were expensive and any usable parts would offset the build of a new generator. She immersed herself in the mindless task; assessing, discarding, checking. If the lab had always been her sanctuary, her work had always been her salvation.
She hadn’t been home in seven days. Seven days since SG1 had returned from Tollana; since they had heard the fragmented communication from Narim that the Tollans - an ally more advanced than Earth - had fallen to the Goa’uld. Sam continued sorting and cataloguing even though her mind couldn’t help returning to the communication over and over.
It had been cut short; the Tollans had been trying to flee in ships which were being shot down and destroyed by the Goa’uld. It was possible that Narim’s communication system had simply gone down in the attack; possible that she would still hear from him. Yet a part of Sam knew he was gone; a casualty of the war with the Goa’uld.
She had been fond of Narim. He had been a good man; kind and thoughtful. Maybe he had been blindly naïve about the inherent infallibility of his own government and too obvious in his admiration for her, but he had been courageous at the end. He had chosen to stand up to the Goa’uld; to prevent his people from becoming collaborators to the death and destruction the Goa’uld would have wrought including the annihilation of Earth.
Sam couldn’t help but feel guilty at the part SG1 had played in Tollana’s downfall. Although Narim had taken the first step in warning them that the late Tollan leader, Omak, had felt Earth was in danger, they had pushed Narim at every turn in exploring why. The Tollan’s surprise change in policy, their offer to provide them with ion cannons in exchange for trinium…it had all been too good to be true. With Narim realising Omak had been potentially murdered and the knowledge that the Curia’s official records had been altered, they had found the evidence to support their suspicions. The Goa’uld had found a shield technology to withstand the Tollans’ ion cannon defences and Tollana was threatened with destruction unless they built the Goa’uld bombs utilising the phase-shift technology. Their old enemy Tanith had been instrumental in the plot and Earth was to have been one of the first targets for the weapons. Narim had destroyed the warehouse containing the bombs and the consequences of his action had been immediate; the Goa’uld had attacked.
It wasn’t SG1’s fault, Sam reminded herself briskly as she reached for a small circuit board with a pair of pliers. The team had only acted to protect Earth and who knew how many other planets. In the end they had done nothing wrong but it was hard to feel that they had done something right with Tollana’s fall.
The loss of their ally was not good news and had shaken the SGC and its chain of command. While Tollana’s assistance had never fallen into the realm of ‘helpful’ given their strict policy on non-interference with less advanced civilisations, Sam equated their alliance to be similar to that of a safety net. It had been good to know they were there just in case they were ever needed. That safety net was gone, and while Earth had other safety nets given Tollana had never been its only ally, it felt like they were suddenly more exposed. It didn’t help that it was incredibly scary that Tollana had fallen even though it was more advanced than Earth.
The Pentagon was demanding answers and SG1 had few to give them; Tanith was working for an unnamed Goa’uld who was evidently rising to power in the wake of Apophis’s defeat but that was about all they knew. Their superiors had been seriously displeased that SG1 had not focused on securing the ion cannon technology before the demise of Tollana but as Colonel O’Neill had pointed out, the technology no longer worked against the Goa’uld and it was worthless. At least, General Hammond had understood.
Sam finished dismantling the generator. She had salvaged as much as she could. She reached for a box and carefully packed up the usable pieces. There was a rap on her lab door and Sam kept silent. Her team-mates, Daniel Jackson and Teal’c, had both stopped by a few times in the past week to commiserate about Tollana but Sam wasn’t ready to talk about it.
The door opened despite her lack of answer and Sam looked up in annoyance. Her irritated blue gaze landed on her CO. She guessed it was his turn to attempt the pep talk.
‘Carter.’ Jack left the door open behind him and walked in without waiting for her permission. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He was wearing a Simpsons t-shirt on top emblazoned with the word ‘D’oh!’ and a leather jacket. She could see the thin chain of his silver dog-tags glinting around his neck. He was obviously dressed to go home.
She wrenched her gaze back to her task. ‘Sir.’
‘Do you know what time it is?’ Jack asked pointedly.
Sam didn’t have to glance at her watch. She knew her official working day had ended over an hour before. ‘There’s quite a back-log of work to get through before our next mission, sir.’
‘Carter…’
She almost winced at his unhidden exasperation. OK, no pep talk, Sam realised as a flicker of panic entered her gut. He was just bypassing pep talk and going for an all out attack strategy.
‘…our next mission is four days away.’ Jack pointed out ruthlessly. ‘Pack it up.’
Maybe she could pretend his words were a suggestion or try an offensive move of her own. ‘I will as soon as the simulation is completed on this sonic device discovered on P2R419, sir. It’s fascinating really. It works…’
‘Ahk!’ Jack held up a finger and she had lost. ‘That was an order; pack it up. You have one hour to leave the base and I don’t want to see your name on the entry log until oh-seven-hundred tomorrow. Understood?’
Sam’s heart sank; she changed tactics switching from the professional to the personal. ‘Sir, I really need to do this.’ Her eyes pleaded with him for understanding.
His expression softened and he sighed, rubbing a hand over his short crop of grey hair. ‘Carter, you’ve been in this lab for seven days.’ He stated firmly. ‘I’m not the only one who’s noticed.’
‘Oh.’ Sam flushed. That meant either General Hammond or Janet Fraiser had raised it with him, she realised with embarrassment.
Jack hovered awkwardly. ‘Look…’ he began.
Oh God, thought Sam, now he was going to try the pep talk. She looked away from him, trying to think how to make him stop.
‘I know things have been, you know, tough, with,’ Jack waved a hand vaguely in the air by his head, ‘the Tollans,’ he got out eventually, ‘and…’
‘I’m fine, sir.’ Sam insisted, cutting him off and glaring at him.
They stared at each other.
‘OK.’ Jack tapped his fist on the bench. ‘I think Daniel and Teal’c planned to watch a movie later. Why don’t you join them?’
Sam shook her head with a small smile. ‘I already turned them down.’ Daniel Jackson had been by at lunch time with the invite. He’d been vague about Jack’s plans but by the sound of it the Colonel wasn’t going to be there. He’d been doing less and less with them all outside of work ever since the incident with the computer entity. She understood his reasoning; he’d been brutally reminded that he needed to stay objective when he’d had to shoot her. He’d taken a step back and had been more professional with them all since, especially her - and she was so not going down that line of thinking.
‘So, change your mind.’ Jack said, startling her out of her thoughts.
‘I’m not sure I can take another Bond film.’ Sam muttered out loud as she stared down into the box of parts.
‘Ah.’ Jack pulled a face. ‘Bond. They still on that?’
‘Teal’c’s fascinated by Jaws.’ Sam said.
Jack’s lips curved faintly. ‘Isn’t that a different movie?’
Sam couldn’t help smiling back at his teasing which gave away he knew she meant the Bond villain and not the shark. ‘Thank you for the suggestion, sir, but I think I’ll just head home.’ Maybe she could work on her bike; strip it down and rebuild it again.
‘OK.’ Jack gave her an encouraging smile. ‘I’ll see you tomorrow.’ He was gone before she could reply, leaving a faint hint of his cologne in his wake.
Sam debated about whether she could get away with ignoring his order. Probably not. Not if he’d been instructed to do something about her remaining in her lab. If she stayed, she might be getting him into trouble along with herself. She packed up. She had second thoughts as she unhooked the simulation; as she put away the other devices. She was having fifth or sixth thoughts when her hand hit the light switch and the lab was plunged into darkness.
The female locker room wasn’t empty; Sam could hear the showers running. She stripped, dumped her uniform and headed for a cubicle.
‘Sam.’ Janet waved a yellow sponge at her over the shoulder height wall.
‘Janet.’ Sam turned the water on and stood underneath the spray. She was barely aware of Janet finishing up and leaving. Sam showered quickly and headed back to the lockers.
Janet was already dressed in cream jeans and a green sweater. She sat on a bench, drying her hair. She waited until Sam was dressed in a similar fashion before she spoke. ‘Heading home?’
‘Yep.’ Sam said shortly, reaching for her boots.
Janet sighed. ‘Sam…’
‘I’m fine.’ Sam insisted, turning away.
Janet shot her an understanding look. ‘Actually, I was going to ask you if you wanted to join Cassie and me for dinner? We’d thought we’d try that new Italian on Harper.’
‘No. Thanks.’ Sam shook her head.
‘She’d love to see you.’ Janet said without looking at Sam. There was a faint edge of desperation to her voice.
Sam looked at her friend inquiringly. ‘What’s up?’
Janet looked at her a little chagrined. ‘She broke up with Dominic three days ago and, honestly? I’m at the end of my rope on sympathising.’
Sam sighed, torn between wanting to duck out of the meal and feeling an obligation to have dinner and comfort Cassie. ‘The new Italian?’
Janet nodded.
‘OK.’ Sam tried a smile. ‘Sounds good.’
‘No, it sounds awful.’ Janet corrected wryly. ‘But I appreciate it and I know Cassie will too.’
Sam nodded understandingly. She reached back into her locker for the small leather purse she carried and shut the door firmly.
It was only dinner. What could happen?
o-O-o
Daniel looked morosely at the DVD cover of Roger Moore and back at Teal’c’s expectant face. ‘You know,’ he said, taking hold of his courage, ‘I think we’re getting in something of a rut.’
Teal’c raised an eyebrow.
‘Repetitive.’ Daniel explained. ‘We keep doing the same thing rather than trying something new.’
‘I see.’ Teal’c murmured, his deep voice rumbling low in his chest.
‘I don’t know,’ Daniel threw the DVD on Teal’c’s bed and gestured at it, ‘don’t you ever want to try something, I don’t know, different?’
The eyebrow again.
‘What did you have in mind, Daniel Jackson?’ Teal’c asked, clasping his hands behind his back.
Daniel shrugged. He and Teal’c had found themselves spending more and more time together outside of SG1’s official duties and missions. Movie night was rapidly becoming a weekly event with just the two of them. Jack rarely joined them. He had reverted to his practice of leaving the base during SG1’s off-duty hours just as he had during the first few months of the team working together. Daniel appreciated the reason why Jack wanted to take a step back and get some perspective - thinking he’d killed a team-mate, especially when in love with that team-mate, was bound to be hard to come to terms with, but Daniel felt the loss of the other man’s presence keenly and he figured Teal’c felt the same although he doubted the Jaffa would ever admit it.
Sam had become almost as bad as Jack. Not in leaving the base - conversely, she never left the place - but definitely in avoiding social interaction. She had attended a couple of the movie nights in Teal’c’s quarters though. The three of them had watched old Bond films together curled up on Teal’c’s floor with big bowls of popcorn. Still, Sam had refused the evening’s festivities and Daniel didn’t think it was entirely down to her wanting to avoid talking about what had happened with the Tollans. His eyes strayed back to the DVD.
‘I did find the fighting in a ring of jello most intriguing.’ Teal’c said.
Daniel looked at him sharply and found his friend gazing back at him serenely with a wicked twinkle in the dark depths of his eyes. ‘Intriguing.’ Daniel agreed dryly. It was one word to describe it. ‘I was thinking of something less…’
‘Intriguing.’ Teal’c supplied.
He had been about to say sticky, but intriguing would do. Daniel sighed. ‘How about we just head out and grab something to eat?’
Teal’c inclined his head. ‘I will change.’
Daniel gestured over his shoulder. ‘I’ll wait for you at the elevator.’
He left swiftly and headed to the lockers to change into civilian gear. Teal’c had seemed as pleased as he was at the change in scenery, Daniel mused as he finished up and made his way to the elevators. The Jaffa was still banned from going off-base without an escort following his brainwashing by Apophis. There was no doubt Teal’c had recovered but the ban had not been rescinded. Maybe he should speak to General Hammond, Daniel considered, frowning; and if he couldn’t convince the SGC commander to ease up maybe Jack could.
He sighed as the elevator delivered him back to Teal’c’s floor and crossed his arms over his chest, wrinkling the heavy denim of his jacket and the cotton of his shirt underneath as he leaned up against a wall and waited. He pushed his glasses up his nose and wondered at his own restlessness. He just hadn’t been in the mood for Bond, he assured himself. It had nothing to do with him questioning his place again in the wake of the Tollana tragedy. He wasn’t even sure why he was questioning his place. It wasn’t as though he had done anything very much.
Or maybe that was the point.
He heard footsteps and straightened as Teal’c reached him. The Jaffa was dressed in a brown tweed suit with an orange shirt and clashing purple tie. He wore a matching orange bandana over his head which covered his Jaffa tattoo and atop that he had placed a brown baseball cap.
Daniel felt positively conservative by comparison in his more muted colours of blue plaid and denim. He cleared his throat. ‘Ready?’
‘I am ready to dine.’ Teal’c agreed.
They left the base unhurriedly and climbed into Daniel’s car together. He set off in the same unhurried fashion.
‘Did you have a specific location in mind, Daniel Jackson?’ Teal’c asked eagerly.
Daniel glanced sideways at him. ‘Not really. Did you?’
‘Nyan informed me some days ago of a new restaurant on Harper Street serving Turkish cuisine.’
‘You want to try it?’ Daniel asked.
Teal’c nodded. ‘You did express a desire to try something different, Daniel Jackson.’
‘I did, didn’t I?’ Daniel said amused. ‘OK. Turkish cuisine it is then.’ He had actually travelled through Turkey one summer when he’d been part of a dig. It was a long time ago, Daniel mused, and one Turkish meal wouldn’t kill him.
He turned onto the main road and eased into the busy traffic. ‘It’s a shame Jack and Sam can’t join us.’ He commented absently.
‘Indeed.’ Teal’c said with so much feeling that Daniel looked at him surprised before he turned back to the road.
‘I was wondering if you’d noticed it too.’ Daniel said quietly.
Teal’c didn’t reply.
‘I hate it.’ Daniel blurted out. He didn’t look at the Jaffa but he suspected a raised eyebrow. ‘It’s just…it’s…hard.’
‘I believe it has also been difficult for O’Neill to find a balance in objectivity since he believed he killed Major Carter.’ Teal’c murmured.
‘You think he will?’
‘It is not easy when bonds have already formed.’ Teal’c admitted, and Daniel knew he was referring to Jack and Sam. ‘Yet there is no question such objectivity is required in battle.’
Daniel sighed. ‘You really think so?’
‘Had I restrained my emotions in regards to Tanith,’ Teal’c said darkly, ‘I would not have been taken by surprise on Vorash and brainwashed by Apophis into betraying my very beliefs.’
It was the first time Teal’c had ever spoken of what had happened openly. Daniel wasn’t sure what to say; if he was meant to say anything.
‘You wanted to avenge Sho’nac, Teal’c.’ Daniel said comfortingly. ‘And I get the impression that Jaffa revenge is part of the code of justice for your people in the same way trial by jury is for us. We all understood.’
‘It does not change what occurred.’ Teal’c pointed out.
Daniel raised one hand from the steering wheel. ‘You shouldn’t feel guilty, Teal’c.’
‘I do not.’ Teal’c said firmly.
Daniel didn’t believe him but he wouldn’t call him on it. ‘You haven’t said much since we got back from Tollana. About Tanith, I mean.’ Finding out the Goa’uld spy had survived the destruction of Apophis’s fleet had come as an unwelcome surprise.
‘I am glad he lives.’ Teal’c’s dark eyes glittered. ‘One day, I will have my vengeance.’
‘OK then.’ Daniel pulled a face. He guessed Teal’c’s newfound reasoning on objectivity hadn’t changed his mind on the whole Jaffa revenge gig. ‘Has Sam talked to you? I mean, about Narim and that whole Tollan thing?’
‘Major Carter has not.’ Teal’c sounded downhearted.
‘She hasn’t talked to me either.’ Daniel commented.
Teal’c adjusted the position of his large frame in the small seat. Daniel sighed. He knew it was Sam’s usual MO to withdraw until she was ready but on top of the professionalism kick she and Jack were on, he couldn’t help but feel she was just withdrawing from them too.
‘I know the objectivity thing is important, I do.’ Daniel said. ‘I remember how I felt when I thought I’d given the order to destroy the submarine with you and Jack onboard during the Replicator incident, it’s just…we’re family and…’ his voice trailed away. How could he express how much he feared he was losing the only family he had without actually losing them at all? ‘I just miss them.’ He said finally.
‘As do I, Daniel Jackson.’ Teal’c assured him. ‘As do I.’
o-O-o
Jack rang the doorbell and stepped back from the small townhouse with its pretty façade. It was a nice house but Jack wasn’t there to admire the décor. He patted his hair as though to check it was still in place and turned to look out at the road with a grateful appreciation. He didn’t fool himself; had the Tollans - had Narim - not stepped up to the plate, it could have been Earth which had been destroyed and not Tollana. He knew it was cold but he didn’t regret what had happened; he couldn’t deny that he was happy it was them and not Earth.
Carter was struggling with it. He knew that, feeling a pang of guilt at the way he had forced her to leave the base even if it had been triggered by Hammond pointedly telling Jack that perhaps as her CO, he should encourage Carter to take a break. He knew losing herself in her work was her way of coping. She’d had a close friendship with Narim and, although he knew she hadn’t returned the guy’s open adoration of her, she had been fond of him. It didn’t help that she had lost another alien friend a few months before - a friend Jack didn’t like to think about given Carter had hidden him in her home for weeks.
Carter would eventually confide in Daniel and Teal’c, Jack considered tiredly. She had never confided in Jack about that type of stuff even during the period when they’d both known that they’d loved each other beyond their bond as team-mates and hoped for more at some vague future date when he wasn’t her CO. Moving on, he reminded himself tersely. They’d gotten too close but they had reinstated their professional relationship and if everything was somewhat awkward between them on a personal level while they made the shift, Jack was sure they’d both get used it again eventually. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t register that the door behind him had opened.
‘Jack!’
The feminine voice had him smiling and he turned to smile at the brunette in the doorway appreciatively.
‘Amy.’ Jack handed her the bottle of wine he carried and she accepted it with a grin. ‘You look great.’ She did too; the red cotton dress was close-fitting and accentuated her curves in all the right places.
She leaned forward and kissed him briefly. ‘Come on in.’ Amy led the way inside.
Jack closed the door behind him. It wasn’t the first time he had been a guest. He had been inside three times during the past month since he had started dating her after deciding in a moment of epiphany that apart from moving back to a professional only relationship with Carter, he was only going to really move on with his life if he tried building something real outside of the SGC. The last date he and Amy had shared a couple of nights before, he’d come for dinner and stayed for breakfast, and that fact had him alternating somewhere between panic and delight.
Amy Castle was an old friend and once Jack had called her for drinks, they had slipped easily into what he termed a casual arrangement. They’d agreed up front that they’d keep it light. Amy had just come out of a divorce and although Jack hadn’t explained the detail of the complicated situation with Carter, he had hinted to Amy that he had his own baggage. He figured she had assumed he was referring to his own failed marriage.
He had to admit that he had enjoyed the past month even if he had felt pangs of guilt at times about Carter. It had been less awkward than he had anticipated forming a relationship with Amy. She was a good woman; compassionate, warm, friendly. She had built her own small interior design business and had an independent streak that Jack admired. She was a great mother - she had made it clear that Daisy, her daughter came first, and Jack could respect that.
It turned out they’d had more in common than just being old neighbours. They both loved hockey and the Simpsons; old movies and opera. It was easy being with Amy. No complications or hassles. No aliens or Stargates. Just a female companionship that he hadn’t known he had missed until he started to date Amy. They were good together. He liked being with her enough that while he didn’t mind that there were no more plans beyond their next date, he found himself surprisingly comfortable with the idea that there could be plans one day.
Amy finished putting the wine away and walked back up to where he was lounging over her breakfast bar. She smiled broadly, her brown eyes lit up with pleasure. She leaned in and kissed him again. ‘Thank you.’
Jack shrugged. He figured they’d both enjoy a glass later. She wiped the smudge of lipstick she had left on the corner of his mouth, grinned and picked up her purse. He took hold of the wrap he spotted and helped her into it.
‘You decided on where we’re having dinner?’ He asked, smoothing his hands over her shoulders.
‘Well, my assistant couldn’t stop talking about that new place on Harper.’ Amy said, turning in his arms. ‘That OK?’
He dropped another light kiss on her lips. He’d had no idea there was a new place on Harper. ‘OK with me.’
They walked out of the house and she locked up. He helped her into his truck and went around to the driver’s side. Amy didn’t live too far from the centre of town and Jack quickly made the trip to the restaurant. They were in the middle of a debate about whether Sideshow Bob was a better villain than Mr Burns when Amy directed him to turn into the small parking lot at the back. He skipped out and was by her door before she could get it fully open. They made their way into the restaurant holding hands.
A waiter signalled he would be with them in a moment. Jack breathed in the heavenly scent of food and felt his stomach growl in hungry anticipation. Nice, he thought as he took in the cosy table settings and friendly ambience. The waiters were all smiling; the traditional music was muted. It was a perfect choice for a quiet dinner for two.
The door chimed behind them and Jack automatically glanced over his shoulder. He froze at the sight of the newcomers who equally froze at the sight of him and his date. Amy sensed his tension immediately and turned to look in the same direction.
Daniel recovered first. ‘Jack.’
‘Daniel.’
There was an uncomfortable silence.
‘Jack?’ Amy prompted him with a laugh.
Jack took a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He gave her a reassuring smile. ‘You remember my telling you about my team?’ He pointed at Daniel. ‘Well, this is Doctor Daniel Jackson and…Murray.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Guys, this is Amy Castle.’
Daniel’s hand immediately shot out and Amy let go of Jack’s to shake it. Teal’c settled for bowing his head.
‘It’s nice to meet you.’ Amy smiled warmly. ‘Jack talks about you all the time.’
‘He does?’ Daniel’s gaze lightened with amusement at Jack’s discomfort as his blue eyes met Jack’s.
Jack flushed at the knowing look in Daniel’s. In comparison to some of the light-hearted stories he had told Amy about the team, he hadn’t told them anything about her.
‘You have another team-mate as well, right?’ Amy asked, peering over their shoulders. ‘He isn’t with you?’
‘He?’ Daniel’s eyebrows disappeared up his forehead.
Teal’c frowned. ‘Our team-mate Samantha Carter is not with us.’
Amy shot a look at Jack. ‘Oh. I didn’t realise.’
‘My mistake,’ Jack jumped in hastily, ‘I probably didn’t even think to mention Carter was, well, you know.’
‘A woman? Well, if you do insist on calling her Carter all the time.’ Amy said with a laugh.
Jack smiled weakly. ‘So,’ he gestured at his two team-mates, ‘I thought you guys were watching Bond.’
‘We thought we would do something different.’ Daniel explained. ‘Nyan suggested this place.’
‘Ah.’ Jack rocked back on his heels and wondered how he got out of having to invite Daniel and Teal’c to join them.
‘My assistant recommended it.’ Amy said brightly.
Daniel smiled as Jack squirmed. ‘Well, we’ll try it another time and go somewhere else. Leave you to enjoy your evening.’
Amy patted Jack’s arm. ‘They don’t have to do that, do they, Jack?’
Jack sighed and gave into the inevitable. ‘Why don’t you join us?’
‘Thank you for the invitation, O’Neill,’ Teal’c placed a hand on Daniel’s shoulder to stop him from interrupting, ‘but we do not wish to intrude on what was clearly intended to be a private meal.’ He turned and inclined his head respectfully. ‘It was pleasant meeting you, Amy Castle.’
‘And you.’ Amy said. She gestured at the two men. ‘Both of you.’
‘Have a nice evening.’ Daniel’s eyes were on Jack as he made his parting shot and left.
Jack watched them go with relief. He turned back to Amy to find her looking at him with open amusement. He was saved from having to immediately explain as the waiter showed them to a table.
Jack opened the menu and gazed at the contents, determined to avoid the conversation he knew was coming. ‘So, this all looks good.’
‘You hadn’t told them about us?’ Amy asked bluntly.
He lowered the menu and took in her wry smile and teasing expression. ‘Ah, no.’ He admitted. He fiddled with the salad knife. ‘It’s not…’ he stopped and cleared his throat, ‘it’s just…’
‘Jack.’ Amy reached across the table and snagged his hand. ‘You don’t have to explain.’
‘I don’t?’ Jack asked surprised.
‘We’re having fun, aren’t we?’ Amy pointed out, gently. Her fingers rubbed against his.
He turned his hand over and clasped hers. ‘We are.’
‘Then, let’s eat.’ Amy said firmly. She squeezed his hand and let go, turning her full attention back to the menu.
Jack looked at her for a long moment and turned his own attention to the menu without seeing a word of what was written. No recriminations over the fact that he hadn’t told his closest friends about her. No worrying whether it had upset her or whether he should apologise. It was that uncomplicated; that easy with Amy.
His stomach churned.
He wondered whether he should tell Carter about Amy given Daniel and Teal’c knew even if it had been an accident. Not that he figured they would tell Carter, he just didn’t want her to find out in a similar way. His blood literally froze at the idea. But, how to tell Carter? It wasn’t just something he could drop into conversation and did she really need to know? He was her CO; he didn’t have to tell her. But it was more complicated than that which was why it was going to be difficult.
He repressed a sigh and tried to focus on the menu. Yep: complicated and difficult. That described his relationship with Carter perfectly.
o-O-o
Sam sat on a stool in her lab, tired and miserable, staring sightlessly at the simulation running on her computer monitor. She rubbed her nose, her mind drifting back to the previous evening…
Sam waved Cassie goodbye as she watched Janet’s car disappear down the road. She gave a tired sigh and rubbed her forehead where she could feel the beginnings of a headache. No wonder Janet had been desperate for back-up, Sam thought wryly. Cassie was heartbroken; she would never love again, never have another boyfriend - the usual teenage angst that followed break-ups. Sam had reminisced about her own first boyfriend as had Janet. God, it had been so much simpler then, Sam considered as she opened the driver’s door and climbed inside. She had just fallen for a cute guy without all the worry of whether it was allowed or whether he would end up shooting her…or she would end up shooting him.
She locked the car doors absently and threw her purse on the passenger seat. She reached for her CD stash. She was in the mood for something other than the soft rock she had playing. She exchanged it for a boy band CD she would deny she owned under threat of torture and nodded as the first upbeat pop song played from the speakers. She stowed the rest of her CDs and looked briefly out the windshield to check the road.
Her eyes caught on the sign for the Turkish restaurant across the road. It looked interesting. The front door opened and an older couple stepped out hand in hand. Cute, Sam thought whimsically before her body tensed in recognition. Her mouth fell open as she watched as the attractive brunette slid a hand into the back pocket of Jack’s jeans in a blatantly possessive gesture. Their attention was on each other but Sam ducked down and prayed he didn’t see her.
Her heart was hammering in her chest as she peeked and saw a glimpse of red disappearing behind the restaurant in the direction of its parking lot. Sam gunned the engine, slammed the car into gear and drove away hurriedly…
She had to get over it, Sam thought determinedly. There was no way she was going to sulk over the Colonel being with another woman like she was some teenager. Jack wasn’t hers and in truth he never had been hers. He was a free man; single. He had every right to date whomever he wanted. They were both being completely professional and had put their inappropriate feelings behind them. It wasn’t as though they could ever pursue them.
Then why did it hurt so much that he was with someone else, Sam mused. She sighed loudly and shook her head furiously.
She was an adult; he was an adult. She could be pleased that he had moved on and found someone to share his life outside of the madness of their working lives. She was happy that he was happy.
Right.
She pressed her lips together and hesitantly opened a drawer in the desk. The Tollan emotional recorder stared back at her. She took it out and turned it over in her hands. She sighed and switched it on.
A wash of love rushed over her; her skin breaking out in goose-bumps. Love and attraction and joy. She lit up the room for him.
She switched it off, unable to continue. Narim had loved her and it felt cheap somehow given his death to use his feelings to make herself feel better about losing another man’s affection.
‘Major Carter.’ Teal’c’s quiet call had her head jerking up in surprise.
‘Teal’c.’ Sam pushed the recorder into the drawer. She realised belatedly that her cheeks were wet. She turned away and scrubbed at them.
A handkerchief appeared over her shoulder. She smiled and accepted it. She blew her nose before. ‘Sorry.’
‘There is no need to apologise, Major Carter.’ Teal’c replied calmly. ‘I believe he loved you a great deal.’
Sam closed her eyes. ‘I miss him.’ The words escaped her before she had the sense to catch them. And she winced because they weren’t about Narim at all and he deserved so much better than that.
‘There are many sacrifices in a war,’ Teal’c said kindly, ‘some are harder to bear than others.’
Sam nodded. She blew her nose again; wiped her eyes and turned around. ‘Thank you, Teal’c.’
He bowed his head.
A rap at the door had them both looking in unison toward the doorway. Daniel stood there, half-in and half-out, indecision written all over his intelligent features.
‘Hey.’ He said. ‘I, er, just wanted to see if you were up for breakfast?’
‘Sounds good.’ Sam said. ‘Why don’t you guys go on ahead? I’ll be there in a minute.’ She waited until they left before she made her way to the ladies’ cloakroom and washed away the evidence of her tears.
Sam made her way to the elevator. Breakfast with the guys would be good, she thought. She couldn’t hide away in her lab forever. The elevator arrived and she stepped into it. She almost backed away at the sight of Jack leaning against the back wall but he looked up and saw her.
She stiffened her spine. ‘Sir.’
‘Carter.’ Jack straightened.
They stood in silence for a split second as the elevator doors closed.
‘So.’ Jack cleared his throat. ‘I checked the logs. You managed to stay away.’
Sam bit her lip. ‘Actually, Janet and I took Cassie out for a meal. She and Dominic broke up.’
‘Yes!’ Jack clenched his fists in a small dance of victory.
Sam shot him a look.
‘Sorry,’ Jack smiled, clearly not sorry at all, ‘did I say that out loud?’
‘She’s heartbroken, sir.’ Sam admonished him. She dithered about whether to say anything and decided she should just say it; get it out in the open, let him know she knew.
‘Sir.’
‘Carter.’
Sam waved at him. ‘After you, sir.’
‘No, no.’ Jack motioned back at her. ‘After you.’ He crossed his arms over his green BDU shirt and looked at her.
‘I, er, well, we had dinner at the Italian place on Harper.’ Sam saw him tense and knew he knew where she was going. ‘I, um, I, er, I saw you leaving the Turkish restaurant across the street.’
There was a streak of colour flooding across his cheeks. He sighed and looked everywhere but at her. ‘Carter…’
‘It’s none of my business, sir.’ Sam said and winced at the loudness of her voice. ‘I just thought that you should know, that well, I know.’
Jack’s eyes shot to hers before they fell away again. She turned away and stared up at the floor indicator.
He fidgeted restlessly. ‘Awkward, huh?’
‘It’s getting there.’ Sam said fervently, wishing she could take the last few minutes back.
Jack rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
Sam gathered her courage, ‘I’m happy for you.’ Her eyes were pinned to the wall and she missed his brief look of disappointment at her words.
He sighed and changed position. He shoved his hands in his pockets. ‘So. Where are you headed?’
‘Breakfast.’ Sam explained. ‘Daniel and Teal’c should already be there.’
‘Mind if I join you?’ Jack asked softly.
She glanced at him. She knew if she said yes he would leave them to it and part of her wanted to be that mean and exclude him; to try and get him to feel as hurt as she did. She felt her chest tighten. He hadn’t meant to hurt her. And maybe he had found someone else to love, but they were still friends, still team-mates. Did she really want to risk losing that too? She shook her head, smiled and saw him relax in response. ‘That would be great.’
He smiled; one of the cute lop-sided smiles that she loved.
They walked into the mess together; got their breakfasts and headed for the table where Daniel and Teal’c were already sat eating, debating a report. Sam noticed Daniel’s pleased look as they both sat down and the conversation turned to their next mission and how SG17 had brought back a small purple-spotted chicken from P9R427 to study.
Half-way through Daniel’s spiel on the importance of the chicken in 427’s history, Sam glanced up and her gaze careened straight into Jack’s. She looked down quickly, her heart pounding. Had she seen…? No. He had moved on. He didn’t see her that way anymore. He had someone else. She risked another look. He was teasing Daniel about the chicken, his attention elsewhere. She had imagined it, Sam thought determinedly: she had just imagined it.
fin.