Just A Girl (11/11)
Title: Just A Girl (11/11)
Author: Race122VE (Coll)
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: R (mostly language, then violence and some semi sexiness as the fic goes on)
Summary: "But…you're just a girl." Glee AU fic.
Word Count: A little over 4k.
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Prologue, Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10
Chapter 11
An hour or so passed and they're still in the same position (Santana kneeling on the stage with Brittany curled around her) when the back doors of the auditorium burst open and Will, Sue, Quinn, and Rachel storm in, clad with weapons and anxious expressions.
The four of them stop when they see Santana and Brittany on the stage and she locks eyes with Quinn first.
It feels like forever since she's seen Quinn. Her hazel eyes are glassy and the sigh she heaves practically echoes throughout the auditorium. Santana feels the corners of her mouth turn upwards and Brittany wraps her arm a little tighter around her middle and a part of her still can't believe that it's over.
Most of all, she can't believe that she's alive; that Brittany's alive.
Reluctantly, she lets got of Brittany so Sue can take a look at the puncture marks on her neck. Rachel helps her and Quinn drags Santana up and wraps her arms around Santana's neck. She's trying to catch her breath as she brings her arms up and squeezes back, catching Will's eye in the process and smiling at him.
There's a lot to say, so much to talk about. Thankfully Quinn just pulls away and stays silent, but grasps Santana's hand as they watch Brittany get patched up. Luckily, the bite won't need stitches so there's no need for a hospital visit.
Santana steps away from Quinn the second that Brittany's done getting bandaged and the two reach for each other's hands desperately. Their knuckles go white from the grip as the group silently agrees to walk out of the school and to the cars.
It becomes apparent when they walk up to Will's car and Sue's that they're going to have to split up. Quinn glances at Santana and Brittany before breaking the silence. She asks Sue to drop her and Rachel off since they live close together and, for once, Sue Sylvester agrees without any kind of malice or annoyance in her tone.
She gives Quinn a quick nod before walking over to Mr. Schue's car and opening the door to the backseat. Brittany follows, draping herself over Santana's body, and soon after they're driving away. With every mile they pass, Santana breathes a little easier and even manages to numbly recount everything that happened.
Will was hesitant when he asked, eyes flickering between the road and the rearview mirror as he stumbled over the question. It's surprisingly easy to give him the facts, to tell how she rescued Rachel and how she got captured and was brought to Jesse.
It gets tougher when she starts explaining why it looks like she got run over by a truck and how she had tried to get Brittany out of danger sooner but ended up having to kill Matt. Her voice cracks and Brittany shifts so her face presses further into Santana's neck. She takes in a deep breath, trying to steady herself, and turns to look out the window and tries to focus on the landscape zooming past her.
Will gets it and the rest of the car ride is silent.
It hadn't occurred to Santana that Brittany would get out of the car with her when Will pulled up in front of Santana's house, but the blonde finds her hand and holds tight and Santana can't help but smile.
They make their way towards her door after Will mentions something about them getting together tomorrow and discussing things and Santana agrees, but she would've agreed to anything so long as she can get Brittany into her house.
If it wasn't for the fact that neither of them has spoken a word to each other in over an hour, Santana would've reminded Brittany to keep quiet as she finds the spare key in her mailbox and opens the door into her house.
The whole time, Brittany never breaks physical contact. As soon as she lets go to open the door, Brittany's hand grabs on to the back of her torn shirt and it remains there as they quietly make their way up the stairs and into Santana's room.
A part of her wants to climb under the covers and pull Brittany tight against her side and fall asleep, but she knows better. Though neither of them has said anything, Santana knows that she has to clear the air with Brittany. She has to explain what happened tonight so she breaks away from Brittany and sits on her bed, curling her legs underneath her. Brittany follows, sitting with her legs crossed at the opposite end of the bed.
A few minutes pass (maybe five or so, but it feels like hours) and they're just staring at each other, neither knowing who should speak first.
Santana figures she should start. She's the one with all the information after all. She's the Slayer, the one who, thankfully, saved Brittany and everyone else, but what the fuck was she supposed to say?
Honestly, she never thought about 'the talk' with Brittany. The one where she has to explain the idea that there's a separate, secret, supernatural world of vampires and demons that are hell bent on destroying the earth and she's the one girl chosen in this generation to fight them. Even though the blonde witnessed it firsthand, Santana feels like she's tainting Brittany by explaining this scary world to her, but she has to now.
There's no easy way to do that, no right way to start.
So she sits until something pops into her mind that is gentler or a softer way to cushion the blow and explain things in an exact way that Brittany is able to grasp it.
Because Santana is terrified that this is going to break Brittany, that she is going to break Brittany.
Her best friend had been through enough. She witnessed Puck being brutally attacked, she experiences getting kidnapped with Rachel and watching vampires nearly beat Santana to a pulp. Then she gets bitten and watches as Santana (the Slayer) kills Jesse St. James and Matt Rutherford, their friend, right in front of her.
It's just way too much, and she has to do this just right.
"I want to kiss you."
Santana blinks at how loud Brittany sounds when she blurts out her thought. Her eyes narrow and her brow knots together in shock and confusion and now she's stunned into silence by different thoughts.
Vampires don't exist anymore; she has no calling, no destiny that eliminates any say in her own future. All she has is her best friend saying she wants to kiss her, and Santana never thoughts she'd ever hear that. Even after they've kissed and had just experienced a certain kind of hell, she still thought she'd never hear Brittany say that.
Noticing that she doesn't plan on speaking anytime soon, Brittany, who is sitting cross legged, scoots her body closer to where Santana's sitting and leans in. "I'm going to kiss you," she corrects herself in a soft, warm whisper that Santana feels on her lips. "And you're going to stop over thinking things like a crazy person and kiss me back."
"Brittany-"
She leans forward, capturing Santana's lips and cutting her off. Her eyes go comically wide before blinking shut when Brittany's tongue darts out to trace over Santana's mouth. Santana gives into it, to Brittany's words and her tongue and deepens the kiss.
Strong hands reach around Santana's waist and Brittany tugs her forward, up into a kneeling position so she can close the remaining space between them and basically straddle Brittany's lap. It's kind of awkward and they both fumble through the kiss, breaking apart temporarily so Brittany's hands can shift onto Santana's ass to tug her into the right position, before their bodies are flush against one another's and their faces are inches apart.
Santana's eyes are glued on to Brittany's lips as she says, "We really do have to talk, you know."
An evil smirk flashes across Brittany's mouth and Santana looks up into her blue eyes to see a mischievous look accompanying it. Before she can think too much about it, Brittany's kissing her again, slowly and deeply for a few moments before yanking her face away and sitting back a little, leaving her hands folded together behind Santana's neck.
"OK, let's talk," she says normally, like Santana isn't practically sitting in Brittany's lap. "Let's talk about why you didn't kiss me in the hallway before."
Her eyebrows shoot up at this. "I think there are other things we should be talking about," she reminds Brittany then frowns. Just a few minutes ago she wanted to avoid this conversation and now? Well, now the direction that Brittany wants to take this conversation is a lot scarier than vampires.
The blonde just laughs. "You mean the vampires?" she asks without flinching, which makes Santana flinch. "And that you're all strong and fast and super hero-y? That Rachel and I were kidnapped and Puck was almost killed? I already know what's going on with that. Mostly…but I don't care about that stuff. I don't know what's going on with us."
Santana is still blindsided by all of this. Her mouth hangs open, uselessly, because she can't wrap her head around the fact that this is what Brittany wants to focus on.
And that she's still straddling her lap as they're going through this.
"I was in complete denial when I found out about what I am, Britt," Santana finally starts after more long, deafeningly silent minutes of just staring. "Then I'm pretty sure I cried and flipped my shit after I saw my first vampire. I wanted to run away from Schuester when he told me he knew about me and, when Quinn found out, I had to get drunk just to deal with the conversation.
"You find out and you just want to talk about why I didn't kiss you?"
Brittany blinks at her, but answers immediately with a simple, "Yeah."
"I'm not crazy," Santana blurts out, arguing Brittany with nonsense that just starts spewing out of her mouth aimlessly. "You said I was over thinking things like a crazy person and I'm not…I'm actually pretty sane for thinking that this is what we should be talking about. That this is more urgent topic of discussion other than the…"
She trails off, lowering her voice and slumping her shoulder as she stage whispers "The kiss" scandalously.
Brittany scoffs, "Oh come on…you can't even say it? We were just sitting here for, like, ten minutes and you couldn't say anything. It's always been a thing with you...you get so wrapped up in what everything means and you just get comfortable in denial and do things like not say the words of certain things and you think that'll make it go away but it doesn't.
"So…I get to pick what we talk about."
"And that's the kiss?"
"Well…it's why you didn't kiss me in the hall," Brittany corrects, but her tone is light and her fingers start twirling the stray hairs at the base of Santana's neck. "And that's what I want to talk about if you insist on us talking instead of making out."
Focus shifts briefly and heat spreads quickly though her body when Brittany mentions making out and she realizes they're still heavily invading each other's personal space, but the look on Brittany's face suggests she is not going to let Santana change her mind about the kissing.
"Stop thinking about it," Brittany says a little loudly, shaking Santana softly with her arms. "Or think about it, just do it out loud. I don't care how you do it, S, but I need to know what you're thinking about us. Just…tell me what you're thinking. Just say it. Say it. Say it. Come on. Now. Say it. Say anything. Say it-"
"Why did you kiss me?" she asks, wanting to end the unnerving verbal attack she just received from Brittany. "That's what I'm thinking…or what I've been thinking since that night. Why did you kiss me? Because…every time I imagined kissing you…all I could do was hope that you would kiss me back."
She stops and sags in Brittany's arms, shaking her head in disbelief. "The fact that you did…"
Santana's not thinking anymore, because a part of her still can't believe that Brittany did kiss her. "That's what I think about," she goes on, looking away from Brittany's eyes and studying the two little, red dots that bleed through the bandage on Brittany's neck.
Her eyes squeeze shut at the image of Matt sinking his fangs into Brittany's neck and ends whatever she's trying to say with, "I can't think about anything else until I know why you kissed me."
Instead of answering, Brittany's fingers come around to her face and she starts tracing shapes along her cheeks and forehead as her eyes follow. "It's weird," she mumbles. "You're healed. No one would know how bruised and beaten you were."
Santana sighs, "Brittany…"
"I kissed you because I wanted to," Brittany blurts suddenly. "I've wanted to kiss you for a while."
It's so simple and yet so irritating at the same time, but Brittany's always been that way. Not irritating in a completely negative way, it's just that Brittany is always one to speak her mind. She's the most honest person Santana has ever known, but that doesn't always mean what she says makes sense. Sometimes she can get confused, but she's always coming from a genuine place.
So when Brittany tells Santana that she's wanted to kiss her for a while, Santana believes it. Her chest gets a little tighter and she feels herself smile, but she's still confused. "Why did you wait so long?"
Brittany shrugs. "Because you're my best friend," she explains. "When I kiss someone we keep kissing and doing other stuff until one of us doesn't want to anymore. If it's a friend, like Puck, we're not really friends anymore and it's weird. I didn't want that to happen to us."
"That still doesn't explain why-"
"You were keeping something from me," Brittany continues quietly. "We tell each other everything and then you're ditching me and you're quitting the Cheerios and we weren't talking…" Brittany pauses, breaking away from Santana's gaze and busying herself with the torn hem of Santana's shirt as she sniffs back tears. "It didn't feel like we were friends anymore, and I always wanted to kiss you so…I did."
It makes sense, in a Brittany type of way.
"OK…so…what do we do now?"
"Now, you tell me why you didn't kiss me in the hall tonight."
Santana groans and Brittany pokes her side gently and pouts. "I didn't kiss you because…of…the vampires."
Brittany arches an eyebrow. "And?"
"And…"
Santana's terrified. She was nearly beaten to death tonight, most of her close friends were seriously injured or kidnapped, and Brittany will now have a permanent mark on her neck as a visual reminder of what took place.
But none of that scares her as much as this moment.
Pulled tight against Brittany, their faces inches apart, breath mingling, and not a single thing kept between them. Santana's never been more scared in her entire life.
This isn't just about Brittany being her best friend and a girl. Not anymore. Now she has a dangerous destiny, a shortened lifespan, a calling to destroy evil things that would do anything to get to her. It didn't seem fair to pull Brittany into this; to dive head first into a relationship, to risk their friendship (risk Brittany), while she has this other terrifying life.
"It's just not a good time, B."
She tries to pull away; she can't stand being in Brittany's space like this any longer than she has to, but the blonde holds tight. "Whoa, hey," she says with a light chuckle. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means that what happened tonight was because of who I am," Santana tells her. "I'm the chosen one and I'm going to be the chosen one until a vampire or a demon kills me and…it would be better if we just didn't do this."
Something she recognizes as anger with a slight hint of annoyance flashes in Brittany's eyes before they roll up. Santana opens her mouth to argue further, but Brittany beats her to it. "So we're just going to go back to wanting to be with each other and not doing anything about it because of vampires?"
"Wanting to be with each other?" Santana echoes. "Brittany…we just kissed a couple of times-"
"And now you're denying it," Brittany scoffs. "Again. Santana, you want this. I want this. You're making it too complicated-"
"It is complicated," Santana cuts in harshly. "OK, fine, I want to be with you, but there's more to it than that."
Without warning, Brittany cups Santana's face and pulls her into a searing kiss. There's a fleeting moment when she remembers that she's stronger and could easily pull away and out of Brittany's embrace, that she should have done this a lot sooner, but then Brittany's tongue is rolling against her own and she stops thinking altogether and just reacts.
Her hands tangle themselves in Brittany's hair as the kiss gets heated and hungry and kind of desperate. Brittany nips at her bottom lip and Santana's hips grind down, tearing a low moan from the back of Brittany's throat. It's too much and this time she has enough strength to pull away and push Brittany back by her shoulders.
"You felt that," Brittany states, her voice breathy and her lips swollen. "This doesn't have to be complicated. This should be the simplest thing ever."
Brittany's sureness is unsettling and comforting at the same time. She's always wanted that ability, to act with little thought and give into the things that she really wants. She never got the hang of it though. Looking back at all the times she would over think things seems so silly now that there's real things at stake and not something trivial like her reputation or something.
Things are different now. She has a bigger responsibility and being the Slayer will always come first, above anything else in her life.
But she's looking into Brittany's eyes and she knows that they can't ignore this. She closes her eyes, drops her head so that her forehead is resting against Brittany's, and breathes out through her nose. Brittany's hands rest on her hips, squeezing quickly before they slide around to the small of her back. She moves her head and buries her face in Santana's hair, hugging her close.
"We can do this," Brittany says, her voice muffled as she pushes her face deeper into her hair. "You'll see."
Santana doesn't say anything back, can't say anything, because a big part of her still doesn't believe it. Instead, she kisses Brittany's temple, letting her lips linger a little bit, before pulling back and smiling at the blonde.
Brittany smiles back and, just like that, they silently agree to give this a shot. Even though she knows better and that this is terribly selfish and wrong, it's still what she wants.
They're kissing again after a moment, but there's a slower, lazy pace this time. Brittany's not trying to prove a point and Santana's focusing on the way their lips move together instead of her destiny and it's easy.
When Brittany's hands wander lower, her fingertips tracing the exposed skin above her jeans, Santana's body gets hot and her kisses grow feverish. Santana wants to take this further and, judging by the way Brittany's responding, she wants the same thing, but not only is she completely unprepared for sex with her best friend, she's physically spent.
It's Brittany who pulls away this time, smirking knowingly at Santana. "You look terrible."
"Thanks, B," she laughs. "I had kind ofa rough night you know..."
"I bet mine was worse," Brittany fires back playfully. "We should probably get some sleep."
"Yeah."
She moves off of Brittany's lap and crawls up her bed before flopping on to her back. She sighs pleasantly when her head sinks into her pillow. Brittany lies down next to her, turning her head so she's looking at Santana with an amused expression. "What?"
Brittany shrugs. "Just looking."
"OK," she chuckles, squirming uncomfortably. "Why are you over there anyway? You never had a problem invading my personal space before."
"I didn't want to push things," Brittany says. "I'm sure your brain's still over heating or something."
"Well…my brain stops working when you're all up in my space," she pouts. "Come here."
Brittany obliges, draping herself over Santana the same way she always has since they were little. Brittany was never shy about touching people, especially Santana. That was just the way they were, it never became something Santana overly thought about until she realized her feelings for Brittany ran deeper.
While it was weird to not have Brittany pinning her to the bed, she was also a little nervous now that they've more or less taken their relationship to another level. As soon as Brittany rests her head on Santana's shoulder everything seems to snap into place and she feels like this is going to work.
That she's going to it work.
Santana hugs Brittany closer, her one hand sliding through Brittany's hair while the other rest on top of Brittany's hand that is flat against her stomach.
Everything's fine, everyone's safe, and her eyes close and she's ready to sleep for a few days, it seems, when Brittany's body tenses on top of her and her hand closes around Santana's wrist.
"My bracelet," she gasps. "I lost my bracelet. S…I'm so sorry…"
She doesn't even open her eyes, "It's fine, B. I've…" She's supposed to say she's got it in her pocket, but that's a lie. She had it in her pocket but that was before she changed out of the blood soaked clothes and the worst night of her life was only just beginning.
In the span of a minute she's out of the bed, ignoring Brittany calling out her name, and jumping out her bedroom window. She tosses the lid to the trashcan aside, wincing at the loud clatter she caused. She reaches in and feels around, scrunching up her nose as she digs through garbage before pulling out a plastic bag that contains her bloody clothes from earlier.
Tearing open the plastic, Santana lets her shirt and the plastic fall back into the can as she reaches into the pockets of her jeans.
Her eyes shut and she lets out a deep breath when her hand wraps around the metal and she pulls Brittany's bracelet out of the pocket.
It's sticky and coated with blood, but it's in her hand and Brittany's upstairs in her bed and they're together and, even though things are far from perfect and probably never will be, she feels like life is finally cutting her a break.
Santana goes to stand under her window and crouches down low before jumping up and catching hold of her window sill. Brittany's sitting up on her bed when she pulls herself in and straightens up, her arms hugged tightly around her waist and eyes locked on Santana's form.
"Wow," she mumbles. "You're like…a ninja."
Santana shrugs, "Being a vampire slayer has it's perks. Sorry to just jump out of bed like that, but I had to get this."
She opens her hand and the bracelet slides out of her hands and dangles from her fingers. Brittany's eyes grow wide as they watch it swing back and forth. "How…?"
"At school," Santana tells her as she walks over to the bed and kneels in front of Brittany. "When I found Puck. That's why it's so bloody. It must have come off when…when they took you." The last words she can barely get out and her eyes drop down to her hand.
Or, more accurately, Brittany's hand as her fingers trace the length of the bracelet before closing around it and taking it into her lap.
"I'll get it cleaned for you," Santana offers quietly. "Tomorrow. I'll take it and-"
Brittany's hand comes up and rests on Santana's cheek, silencing her. "It's OK, Santana," she assures her. "Everything's OK."
This time, Brittany grasps Santana's wrists and tugs her down to the bed. She reaches over and sets the bracelet down on Santana's bedside table and settles on her back before pulling Santana on top of her. Brittany's body is warm and soft and, even though she's still a little worked up and upset, it's so easy to close her eyes and give in to exhaustion.
Brittany's arms circle around her body and her lips brush against the top of Santana's head and she smiles before falling asleep.
Epilogue