Fic: The Only One (2nd in TDTWM); John/Cam
The Only One
Part Two of This Delicate Thing We've Made
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis. SG1 or any of its characters or plots. I mean no infringement, this is for personal benefit only.
Fandom: SGA/SG1
Pairing: John/Cam
Word count: 19,600
Rating:R
Warnings: This story contains dark, sensitive subject matters. There are references to child abuse, sexual abuse of a minor, sexual abuse, abuse, non-consensual sex.
Summary: He had waited on introducing John to his mom because Cam knew his mom could be a little… overwhelming. She was a wonderful lady but sometimes a little strict and too honest and just a bit brazen. Exactly the kind of person who would make John nervous. Cam hadn’t explained about John’s past to his mom, he kept the promise he’d made to General Mason and hadn’t told anybody. Therefore Cam’s mom only knew some of the pieces to the puzzle that was John Mason.
Cam was very afraid that his mom wouldn’t like John. To most John probably seemed cold and unfeeling. He wasn’t very affectionate and when he wasn’t on duty, John didn’t speak very loudly. She would be there for such a short time that Cam didn’t think it was long enough for her to accurately gauge the depth of John’s feelings for Cam. Cam wasn’t sure he’d accurately gauged the depth of John’s feelings.
Author's Notes:
*****
“Hey.”
John looked up from his pancake batter to see Cameron stumble into the room, hair mussed from sleep, shirt on backwards and a thin layer of stubble on his face.
“Coffee?” John asked.
“Yes, please.”
John poured Cameron a cup of the caffeinated beverage and walked it over to his boyfriend. John refused to say fiancé, partly because he was sure that Cameron would soon come to his senses and realize he’d made a huge mistake by asking John to marry him, and partly because fiancé sounded so feminine.
Cameron sat down at the kitchen table and offered John a genuine smile as he accepted the mug.
“Thank you.”
John nodded and went back to his batter. There was silence as Cameron drank his coffee and John kept mixing up breakfast. Daniel and Rodney should be up soon and John wanted breakfast to be ready for them. If they weren’t up and the pancakes were made, he would send Cameron to wake them up.
John checked that the griddle was hot and ladled some batter onto the surface.
“Are there chocolate chips in there?” Cameron asked.
“For Rodney,” John answered glancing over at the other man. He hesitated and then asked, “Do you mind?”
Cameron shook his head, “No, that’s cool. Who doesn’t like chocolate?”
John wasn’t really fond of it, but he also wasn’t fond of pancakes. Which was why when he finished with everyone else’s breakfast he was going to make himself a breakfast quesadilla.
“How’d you sleep?” Cameron asked.
John hadn’t slept that well but neither had he slept that poorly so he just said, “Fine.”
Cameron sipped his coffee. “Are you calling your parents today?”
“Yeah.”
It had been a two days since Cameron had proposed. Daniel had returned from his mission off-world last night and Rodney had showed up early that morning, heading straight for ‘his’ bedroom.
John had called his parents almost immediately after he’d said ‘yes’. They’d both taken it extremely well and his mom had cried just a little. John suspected that they had already known though, he was pretty sure Cameron was the kind of guy who would have asked John’s parents’ permission for his hand in marriage. It was really old fashioned, but so were most things about Cameron. John liked that.
“How many pancakes do you want?” John asked softly.
Cameron shrugged and stood up. John heard him walk over and then felt the other man as he hovered behind John, ridiculously close. There was a gentle breeze that John recognized as Cameron’s hand gently touching John’s t-shirt--a warning--before two arms slowly wrapped themselves around his waist. John stiffened and held his breath, but Cameron just rested his chin on John’s shoulder and looked at the pancake on the griddle.
“How many can you make?”
John didn’t shrug. “As many as you guys want. I’ll probably make all of this,” he gestured to the batter, “and then if Rodney and Daniel are still hungry I can make more.”
“What are you eating?” Cameron murmured.
John was slowly relaxing into his boyfriend’s touch. He flipped the pancake over smoothly. It was a golden brown with small dots of chocolate showing.
“Breakfast quesadilla,” John answered.
“Don’t like pancakes?”
“Yeah.” John hesitated, “Or chocolate too much.”
“You don’t like chocolate?” Cameron asked in surprise.
It wasn’t really that John didn’t like chocolate, it’s just that chocolate held bad memories for him. Mr. Walson would always offer John a piece of chocolate as he re-buttoned his pants. John would take it and as it melted in his mouth on the way home, John would smile and feel proud that he’d received a piece of candy. His father and mother had certainly never given him any.
“I…” John wanted to tell Cameron. Wanted to tell his boyfriend how John hadn’t eaten chocolate in over twenty years. But his tongue felt heavy and his mouth felt dry and the words weren’t coming out.
“It’s okay,” Cameron cooed gently. His voice was soft and soothing, his body was comforting--wrapped around John’s.
John swallowed. “I don’t eat chocolate.”
“Okay,” Cameron said soothingly. “Okay.”
John wanted to tell him that it wasn’t okay. That John wasn’t okay with it. Instead he leaned back slightly and Cameron’s hold on his body tightened just a little.
“You don’t mind if other people eat it?” Cameron murmured.
John shook his head. “No… I think Rodney would excommunicate me if I did.”
Cameron snorted softly. “It’s possible. He does seem to eat an unhealthy amount of it.”
“He eats my share,” John said.
He shoved his spatula under the pancake and lifted it off the griddle and onto a plate. John poured some more batter onto the griddle and turned the oven on low to heat up.
“I think you have some sort of cooking magic,” Cameron said. “My mom always says that the first pancake is a doozy. Yours looks perfect.”
John shrugged uncomfortably. “I saw it on the Food Network.”
“Ah. Am I in the way?” Cameron asked.
John was pretty sure that even if Cameron was in the way, John would find a way to work around that. “No.”
“Good,” Cameron said happily.
*****
John was cooking the last of the pancake batter when he sent Cam off to wake up Daniel and McKay. Cam stopped at McKay’s room first, knowing from experience that the irate man was the hardest to wake up.
Cam knocked, “McKay!”
He heard a thud as something hit the door. Cam knew from experience that it was probably a shoe. Once, he’d made the mistake of opening the door and Cam had spent the next week fielding questions about who beat him up as the shoe had hit him right in the eye.
“C’mon, McKay! John made chocolate chip pancakes! If you don’t get up, you know Jackson will eat them all.”
Another shoe hit the door and Cam grinned. He moved onto Daniel’s door.
“Jackson!”
“Yeah?”
“Breakfast is ready!”
“Ugh.” Cam heard. But he knew that Daniel would be up and downstairs in a few minutes.
He stopped by McKay’s door again.
“Ro-odney,” Cam said in a sing-song voice. “Up and at ‘em.”
“Mitchell, I swear to whatever god you worship--” Cam winced at the insult that followed. McKay managed to insult his mother, his father, and suggested that Cam’s mom had done filthy things with a donkey which resulted in Cam’s birth.
“That’s the spirit!”
“Fuck you, Mitchell!”
“Promises, promises,” Cam said with a shake of his head.
He went back downstairs and found John putting together his breakfast quesadilla. There was a pan on the stove with a tortilla in it and John was chopping up some bacon to go in to. There were scrambled eggs in a pan next to it and a block of cheese sitting on a grater by John’s cutting board. Cam walked over to the sink and washed his hands. After drying them he picked up the block of cheese and began to grate it into a bowl.
“Thanks,” John said softly.
“No problem.”
John reached into the pan and picked up the tortilla, flipping it. Cam winced.
“Should you be doing that? You could get burned or something…”
“I haven’t burned myself yet.” John answered. Then he suddenly set down his knife and reached into the cabinet above Cam’s head and grabbed two mugs. He set them onto the counter and poured coffee into them. A second later Cam heard two pairs of feet thunder down the stairs.
“There better be coffee, Sheppard,” McKay grumbled.
Cam’s eyes followed John as he walked over to the scientist and presented him with one of the mugs. He handed Daniel the other one and received a mumbled thanks in response.
Cam had wondered more than once what it was about those two people that had attracted John to them. They had almost nothing in common and only got along for John’s sake. One of these days he figured he’d get around to asking John. Knowing John though, he’d probably get a shrug and some sort of noncommittal answer.
John retook his place next to Cam and finished chopping up the bacon. He used a spatula to slide the eggs from one pan to the other onto half of the tortilla. The bacon went in on top of that and the cheese went on last. John let them sit for a moment, so the cheese would have a chance to melt, before gently folding the other half of the tortilla on top of the eggs. Cam watched as he expertly flipped the whole thing.
“How long have you been cooking?” Cam asked quietly.
“Since I met Rodney,” John answered.
“Really?”
“Yeah. He has so many food allergies… or at least inconvenient ones that it was easier to make him dinner than risk eating out.”
“Ah.”
Cam felt himself fall a little bit more in love with John Mason.
“Can you get the syrup out of the microwave?”
“Sure.”
When Cam turned back around, John was bent over retrieving a plate of pancakes from the oven. He had an oven mitt on as he carried them over to the kitchen table where Daniel and McKay were finishing up their first cup of coffee. After setting the plate down, John went back for the coffee pot.
Cam wondered where John’s intense need to serve others came from. John was always fussing over someone. Well, by someone Cam meant himself, McKay or Daniel. John didn’t coddle the men who served under him at the SGC in any way. But here, at John’s house, the man was always getting coffee for them or cooking or cleaning. Just last week Cam had found John doing Cam’s laundry.
After grabbing the butter on the counter, Cam made his way with the syrup over to the table. McKay had already served himself a good chunk of the pancakes and was waiting, impatiently, for the syrup. Daniel had two pancakes on his plate and seemed much more interested in his coffee than in eating.
Cam sat down and watched as John slid the quesadilla onto a plate and grabbed a carton of cranberry juice out of the fridge. Cam blinked and then noticed that John’s seat had a glass in front of it instead of a mug. John sat down across from Cam and next to Rodney. He looked around and everyone seemed to take that as permission to eat.
Cam helped himself to a couple pancakes, and sliced a chunk of butter to spread between them.
Under the table he gently pushed a foot in between one of John’s. the other man didn’t look up from his food, just locked his ankles around Cam’s foot and poured some juice.
*****
“Cameron, honey, are you sure about this?”
“Yes, momma.”
“We haven’t even met him yet.”
Cam sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “You’ll love him, mom.”
“Why don’t you bring him home with you next weekend?”
“To Auburn?”
“Yes, dear.”
“We can’t just drive home for a weekend, mom. He works, I work…”
“Then I’ll come there.”
Cam froze and had the distinct feeling that he’d just been manipulated by his mother.
“What about dad? You can’t just leave him there alone.”
“Oh, pish-posh,” Cam’s mother said. “Your father has been taking care of himself for years, he can manage to do so for another two days.”
“I should talk to John about this, mom.”
“His parents have met you already, haven’t they?”
“Uh… yes.”
“Then I feel I should get to meet the newest member of our family. I’ll be there Friday night and I’ll e-mail you my flight plans. Make sure you’re easy to find.”
“Mom--”
“Got to go now, honey. I’ll see you Friday.”
“--Mom?”
Cam looked at the phone as it began beeping. He sighed and hung it back up.
Maybe John was free for lunch.
*****
“C’mon, Rodney… I’ll make that chocolate soufflé you like so much.”
Rodney looked up at him, interested. “And you won’t let Mitchell eat it all?”
“I’ll make it just for you, Rodney. Cameron won’t get any,” John promised.
“With the chocolate sauce?”
“With the espresso chocolate fudge sauce.”
Rodney sighed, “Fine. I can’t believe I’m letting myself be bribed by a stupid Air Force disc jockey. Isn’t this against some military law or something?”
John shrugged, “Maybe.”
“So when is she coming?”
“On Friday,” John said with a small smile. “My mom really wants to meet you, Rodney. She was disappointed that she didn’t get to last time.”
“A well orchestrated plot on my part, Sheppard,” Rodney boasted.
“You got stuck off-world on some Ori-worshipping planet for two and a half weeks, Rodney.”
Rodney waved his hands. “Whatever.” He pushed some papers over to John. “Check these.”
John pulled the equations towards him and began to glance them over.
*****
“Hey, so my mom is coming into town on Friday.”
John froze and stopped mixing his marinade. “What?”
Cameron offered him a weak smile. “I’m really sorry, I tried to talk her out of it but she sorta… strongholded me into it.”
“Well,” John said softly. “She’ll get to meet my mom then.”
Cameron’s eyes widened. “Your mom is coming?”
“Yeah, it just got finalized today. I was going to tell you tonight.”
John went back to his marinade. He was going to let four steaks soak in it overnight. Daniel had been complaining about the lack of real meat lately and so John had stopped at the butcher’s on the way home.
“Hey,” Cameron said gently, walking over to John. “It’ll be fine.”
John wasn’t sure about that. He’d never met anyone’s parents before. Rodney’s and Daniel’s were dead and John had no past relationships to speak of. Cameron’s hand landed softly on John’s shoulder, just sitting there, letting John absorb its presence.
“What if… what if she doesn’t like me?” John asked in a small voice.
“She’ll love you.”
“You can’t be sure.”
Cameron smiled at him. “She’ll love you because I love you.”
John flushed and ducked his head. Every time Cameron said it, John still couldn’t believe it. John had never told anyone he loved them before. Not even his parents. He really hoped they knew that he loved them. Or at least John thought that’s what it was.
“I love you,” Cameron whispered again.
*****
John finished loading the dishwasher and left Daniel and Rodney on the couch to argue over the latest history channel special. John secretly agreed with Daniel but he’d never tell Rodney that. Rodney had all but moved in by now and John was going to talk to Daniel about letting him have one of the guest rooms.
John pressed the button to turn on the dishwasher and when he spun around his heart skipped a beat when he found Cameron leaning against a wall watching him. Cameron watched him a lot. Before John found it disconcerting, now it was comforting.
“Want to go up to my room?” John asked.
Cameron nodded and followed John up the stairs and to his room. John shut the door softly behind him. He knew that Daniel, at least, would check on them before going to bed and John thought Rodney might as well. They both worried although Daniel showed it more than Rodney did.
John hovered nervously by the door as Cameron took a seat on the bed. Cameron patted the space next to him and John toed off his boots by the door and walked over. He gently sat on the edge next to his boyfriend.
“John, I want to…” Cameron drifted off.
John turned to face him as the other man leaned back against the headboard, stretching his legs out in front of him. He bent his knees slightly and spread his legs. Cameron chewed on his lip as he waited for John to decide what he wanted to do. John felt his heart beating rapidly in his chest as he slowly moved towards Cameron. He slowly scooted into the space between Cameron’s legs and his boyfriend linked his arms around John’s chest, settling them low on his belly. John very slowly relaxed against Cameron, leaning back into his chest and allowing the other man to hold him. John settled a hand on Cameron’s thigh and another one on top of the hands on his stomach.
He could feel Cameron breathing behind him, his breaths were strained, like Cameron was trying not to move too much in case he scared John off. John thought it might still happen.
They’d never sat like this before, so close together. John wondered if that was weird for two people who were engaged to be bound for eternity.
“Cameron?”
“Hmm?”
“This is nice,” John said quietly.
He felt his boyfriend let out a soft sigh of relief.
“If you ever…” Cameron drifted off. “Just tell me.”
John filled the blank in with ‘feel uncomfortable/stifled/hot/trapped/too close/want to do this again’.
“I will.” John paused. “Talk to me.”
It was a request that John made often. John’s life had been so full of screaming and then so much silence. He liked when Cameron just talked, about anything, everything. He liked when Rodney went on and on about wormholes and physics and stupid people. He liked when Daniel went off on tangents about beginning civilizations and Egyptian gods.
“I think we should get married in the Spring,” Cameron said. “It’s supposed to be a time of new beginnings.”
“It is?”
“Well I was thinking along the lines of flowers beginning to bloom again, grass being green…”
John had always been a fan of winter. When it was so cold outside you couldn’t feel a single thing. He remembered pressing sore body parts against frozen metal signs to relieve the pain. His father hated the cold because they’d been too poor to afford any sort of central heating.
“Sure.”
John pulled his hand off of Cameron’s thigh and used it along with his other to pick up one of his boyfriend’s hands. He turned Cameron’s warm hand over in his, tracing the lines.
“We can keep it small.”
John made a noise, “I have a lot of family.”
“Me too.”
“And they’ll all want to come.”
And really, John wanted them too, because for so long he hadn’t had anyone to come to anything of his.
“Mine too.” Cameron sighed. “Okay, so semi-small.”
“Who will be your best man?”
“Hmm… who will be yours?”
John thought about it. “I don’t know. I can ask Daniel or Rodney or maybe just ask them both. Can I have two?”
“How about you ask Rodney and I ask Daniel?”
That seemed pretty reasonable. “Okay.”
“Wedding colors?”
“There are wedding colors?”
“I was thinking navy blue and silver,” Cameron said.
John liked that. Very Air Force. “Okay.”
“What kind of cake?”
“No citrus.”
“How about vanilla with strawberry filling and butter cream frosting?”
“How long have you been thinking about this?”
Cameron didn’t hesitate. “One year, six months and two days.”
“Since our first date?”
“Yeah, pretty much. I was so far gone on you by then, John… I was a lost cause.”
“Why did you…” John took a deep breath. “You never gave up.”
“I knew you would be worth it. And you are.”
The air around them floated back into silence and John sighed.
“How about May?” John asked.
“May sounds perfect.”
*****
John flinched as he stepped into the mess hall. There were four men on the ground, fighting, with several others surrounding them. Most were trying to pull the four men off of each other, some were wisely staying back.
“What the hell is going on in here?” John asked loudly in a deadly voice.
Immediately all action stopped and all four men collapsed to the ground and turned to look up at John.
“Sir, we just--”
“It’s just a mis--”
“Sir--”
“Sir, Sergeant--”
John held up his hand. “Save it. Report to the infirmary immediately and then to my office. If I’m not there when you arrive, you wait there. Is that understood?”
The four men stood up with a wince and they all nodded towards John.
“Understood, sir.”
“Dismissed.”
The men hightailed it out of there, one limping slightly. John looked at the others standing around.
“Is anyone else hurt?”
About twenty heads shook at once.
“Good. I won’t stand for fighting on this base, if you have a problem, you take it outside. Is that understood?”
“Yes, sir,” twenty voices said in unison.
“As you were,” John said.
John moved onto the lunch line and started loading up two trays, one for him and one for Rodney. He would drop Rodney’s off at his lab and then he had an ass-kicking to deliver. Well, four ass-kickings.
*****
Cam jolted out of bed at the sound of John whimpering. It was a nightmare night. He slipped on a shirt and left his room, gesturing for Daniel to go back to bed. Cam slipped into John’s room and shut the door behind him. He pulled up the chair John had by the window--used exclusively for reading or napping--and took a seat. He reached out and grabbed John’s hand in his, running his thumb across the back.
A few minutes later, John’s eyes were open and they found Cam’s in the darkness. The hand in Cam’s squeezed and Cam wished all over again that he had the power to get rid of John’s demons. He wished that he could at least have the power to soothe John after a nightmare. Instead he sat in a chair by his fiancé’s bed.
“Do you want to talk about it?” Cam asked gently.
“I… I don’t know how,” John admitted. “I… there was…” John paused and looked away from Cam. “I got a lot of chocolate.”
*****
John’s mom was flying in an hour before Cam’s so they decided that they would just wait at the airport for Cam’s mom to arrive. John was sitting in the passenger’s seat on the way to the airport. He was alternating between bouts of nervousness (Cam’s mom) and bouts of excitement (his mom).
Cam was excited because he loved both of the moms. After meeting John’s mom, he usually talked to her on the phone with John once a month. John was so close to his mom that sometimes Cam felt like a bad son for only calling his own mom once a month.
But more importantly, Cam loved John’s mom because she could make John smile. Cam could sometimes get a smile or two out of John, but they were awkward and short lived. The smiles produced by Patty Mason were so huge and real that they lit up John’s entire face.
He had waited on introducing John to his mom because Cam knew his mom could be a little… overwhelming. She was a wonderful lady but sometimes a little strict and too honest and just a bit brazen. Exactly the kind of person who would make John nervous. Cam hadn’t explained about John’s past to his mom, he kept the promise he’d made to General Mason and hadn’t told anybody. Therefore Cam’s mom only knew some of the pieces to the puzzle that was John Mason.
Cam was very afraid that his mom wouldn’t like John. To most John probably seemed cold and unfeeling. He wasn’t very affectionate and when he wasn’t on duty, John didn’t speak very loudly. She would be there for such a short time that Cam didn’t think it was long enough for her to accurately gauge the depth of John’s feelings for Cam. Cam wasn’t sure he’d accurately gauged the depth of John’s feelings.
“Your mom is staying at your apartment, right?” John asked, for the twelfth time.
“Yes.”
“And you’re staying there too?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay,” John said quietly.
“I’m sure we’ll be over at your house for most of the weekend.”
“Okay.”
John didn’t sound too reassured by that, Cam thought.
“So, McKay is moving in?”
John nodded. “Yeah.”
Cam desperately wanted to ask John what the living situation would be when they got married. He didn’t think John was ready to live alone with him now and Cam didn’t see that changing in the four months between now and May. He wondered if he would be offered the other guest room so he could at least sleep down the hall from his husband. Cam thought that sounded pretty great.
“Daniel--” John cut himself off and took a deep breath. “Daniel says I should talk about this with you.”
Cam blinked. “About McKay moving in? The man practically lives there already.”
“No,” John said with a shake of his head. “About you moving in.”
“Me…? I didn’t… I mean… wait, what?”
Cam pulled into a parking space in the short term parking and parked the car. He pulled the keys out of the ignition, unbuckled his seatbelt and turned to look at John.
John was fidgeting with his own seatbelt and didn’t meet Cam’s eyes as he said, “I… I don’t know about sharing a bed, not yet, Cameron… but I talked to Daniel about letting you move in.”
“When?”
John shrugged. “You can move in when my mom leaves.”
“Where would your parents stay when they visit?” Cam asked.
John looked up at him and blinked. “My room,” he said, matter-of-factly and as though he couldn’t believe Cam had asked that.
“Okay,” Cam said.
“Okay?”
“Yeah, okay.”
Cam leaned across the seat and reached for John, hooking a hand around his fiancé’s neck. John took the hint and moved closer to Cam and their lips met in the middle. It was a short kiss that left Cam wanting more. He slowly broke it off and John offered him a small smile.
Cam returned it.
“C’mon, let’s go get the moms.”
*****
When John’s mom arrived, the two of them shared their usual extremely long hug. Cam wasn’t as jealous anymore because now he got hugs and kisses from John and he got them whenever he wanted them. He was jealous of the smile that the hug produced. John turned to him, beaming, and pulled Cam into a spontaneous hug, tight and full of happy laughter.
“Don’t hog him, John,” Patty said with a twinkle in her eye. “Let me have a chance to greet my son-in-law.”
And Jesus, Cam thought, he was a son-in-law.
Patty reached for Cam and pulled him into a long hug of his own. Of course nowhere near the epic length of John’s hug, but a long hug just the same. It left Cam smiling and he wondered if he looked half as happy as John did. John reached out and grabbed Cam’s hand in his own, interlocking their fingers when the hug finished.
“Do you want something to drink, mom?” John asked. “We have about forty-five minutes until Cam’s mom arrives.”
“A drink would be lovely, John.” She smiled. “And you can tell me what you’ve been up to since Tuesday.”
John nodded. “Cam has wedding ideas.”
“Oh, wonderful. You can tell me all about them over some iced tea.”
*****
When Cameron’s mom arrived, she gave Cameron a hug and John a dark look. John tried to remember that he was a lieutenant colonel in the United States Air Force and had faced much worse than her, but nothing had ever really mattered this much. Cameron loved his mom and John was pretty sure he loved Cameron so John would love Cameron’s mom too.
“Mom, this is Lieutenant Colonel John… uh, this is John and his mom--Patty Mason. John, Patty this is my mom--Wendy Mitchell.”
John held his hand out politely. “How do you do, ma’am?”
She didn’t answer, but she did shake John’s hand. She also shook the hand that John’s mom held out.
“Any bags to pick up, mom?” Cameron asked.
She gestured to her carry on. “It’s all in here, honey.”
Cameron smiled. “Great, the car is in short term parking.”
John met Cameron’s eyes as they left the airport. He was pretty sure this wasn’t going very well at all.
*****
John flopped down onto his bed and his mom sat down beside him. She ran a hand through his hair.
“I’m sure it will get better, honey.”
“She hates me,” John said quietly.
“I’m sure she doesn’t hate you, John. No one could hate you.”
John swallowed, “Lots of people have hated me, mom.”
“They didn’t know you, John.”
“Right now she’s probably convincing Cameron that I’m not worth his time. She’d be right.”
“John James Mason,” his mom said sternly. “I don’t ever want to hear you say that again, do you hear me?”
John flushed and nodded. “Yeah, sorry.”
“John… Cameron loves you. It’s written all over his face. I don’t think he’s the kind of man who would leave you because his mother wants him too.”
“I would leave Cameron if you wanted me to,” John said softly.
“I know, sweetie, but I think the two of you are very different in that way.”
“I wanted to make a good impression.”
“I think you did.”
John sighed, “I hope so.”
*****
“No, absolutely not, Cam.”
Cam stood up and faced his mom. “You don’t even know him!”
“I just had dinner with him! He didn’t smile once! That man is unhappy and he’ll make you unhappy, too.”
“He’s not unhappy, mom. John just doesn’t… smile… a lot,” Cam finished weakly.
“Do I look like I was born yesterday, Cameron?”
Cam winced at the full name. “Of course not, mom, but I love him!”
“What about Daniel? Have you thought about dating him instead? He seemed happy. And he was so polite and charming…”
“John is all of those things, mom.”
“No… there’s something wrong with him Cam, you’re just fooling yourself, son. That man is not right for you. He’s quiet and shy and he hid behind his mother almost the whole time!”
“He loves her!”
“He’s a bit old to be hiding behind his mom, Cameron.”
“He’s not hiding behind her!” Cam defended. “John is a great man, mom. His men all look up to him, he has several commendations from the Air Force, he’s solved two Millennium problems and he loves me!”
Her face softened for a moment. “He’s said that? You’ve heard him say that, Cam?”
“Yes!” Cam lied. Because to him, John did say it. Every time he let Cam touch him. Every time he let Cam comfort him, John was saying ‘I love you’. Just not with words.
His mother studied him for a moment. “Alright, I’m willing to give him another chance. But know this, Cameron, so far, I am not impressed.”
*****
John got up early to make muffins for breakfast. He was making three different kinds--chocolate chocolate chip, cinnamon apple, and banana nut. He hoped Cameron’s mom liked at least one of those.
Cooking had somehow become John’s nervous activity. Daniel swears that he’s gained ten pounds since moving in with John. John was mostly sure he was joking.
John carefully spooned the apple cinnamon batter into the large muffin cups. Instead of making twelve cupcake sized muffins, John was making six large muffins of each.
“Hey, John.”
John looked up to see Daniel, still in his pajamas, hovering at the entrance to the kitchen. It was a little past four am and John hoped he hadn’t been the one to wake Daniel.
“Hey, Daniel.”
Daniel opened the fridge and pulled out some milk. John got him down a glass and handed it to him. Daniel took it with a smile and poured some milk into it. After doing that, Daniel heaved himself up onto the counter, a foot or so away from where John was baking.
Daniel was quiet as he drank his milk. John liked how Daniel could be quiet. Sometimes his best friend would go on and on about something and that would be exactly what John needed from him. Other times John wanted company, but not words and Daniel got that too.
John slid the muffin tin into the oven and rinsed out his bowl. John got to work on the chocolate muffins. He measure out flour and cocoa powder and all the other ingredients that he would mix together. John had been in the middle of mixing in the chocolate chips when he found himself saying, “His mom hates me, Daniel.”
Daniel’s glass of milk settled onto the counter and Daniel gently touched the tip of his foot to John’s side to get his attention.
“She just doesn’t know you, John.”
“That’s what my mom said.”
Daniel smiled. “I’ve always thought she was smart.”
“I want her to like me. I-I have to remember to smile more, I think,” John said hesitantly. “And maybe I should talk more. I… what do you think?”
“I think you should be yourself, John,” Daniel said softly.
“She doesn’t like me when I’m myself.”
“Then it’s her loss.”
“What if it’s mine?” John whispered, looking up at Daniel.
Daniel shook his head. “Mitchell won’t leave you because of her.”
“Promise?”
Daniel smiled sadly, “Yes, John. I promise.”
*****
When Cam let him and his mom into John’s house, he was greeted with the scent of… well he wasn’t sure what it was, but it smelled good. He wondered how long John had been up baking.
Almost as soon as he took his coat off, Cam was waylaid by Daniel who directed Cam away from his mom and into his and John’s office.
“Jackson I can’t just leave my mom out there with John--”
“Patty’s out there.”
Cam breathed a small sigh of relief. “Okay.”
“We have a problem.”
Cam didn’t like the sound of that. “We do?”
“John is convinced you’re going to leave him because your mom hates him,” Daniel said pointedly.
Wincing, Cam said, “I wouldn’t leave him.”
“Ah… so your mom does hate him.”
“She’s going to give him another chance.”
“Meaning he failed his first one.”
Sometimes it was really frustrating to have smart friends. “Meaning my mother has unreasonable expectations.”
Daniel gave Cam a hard look. “If you break him, Cam… if you hurt him at all…”
Cam swallowed, “I couldn’t. I wouldn’t.”
“Good. Because John has been through enough, and honestly, I’m not going to sit by and let your mother have a chance to hurt him more.”
Cam nodded stiffly. “Got it.”
“Then we’re okay.”
*****
On to Part Two