Fic: Debbie Does Dallas and John Sheppard Does Everyone Else; John/Many guys, but one at a time
Debbie Does Dallas and John Sheppard Does Everyone Else
Bingo Card - A Series of Nine Unrelated Ficlets
Disclaimer: I don't own Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG1, Leverage, Supernatural, Batman, or Hawaii 5-0 or any of its characters or plots. I mean no infringement, this is for personal benefit only.
Fandom: Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG1, Leverage, Supernatural, Batman, Hawaii 5-0
Pairing: John/Bruce Wayne, John/Cameron Mitchell, John/Castiel, John/Connor Davids, John/David Parrish, John/Eliot Spencer, John/Evan Lorne, John/Jonas Quinn, John/Steve McGarrett
Word count: 3,400 total
Rating: G - R (will not be indicated)
Summary: A series of nine unrelated ficlets and they really aren't as slutty as the title makes it sound, I just thought it was funny.
Prompt: Question, Smile, Night, Groovy, Outdoors, Your Choice (Cowboy), Opposite, Family, Sweet
Beta: The Great Orcale of Microsoft Works Word
Author’s Notes:
- This was written for stargateland 's Multi-Media Bingo card with nine different prompts.
- Graphics were designed by race_the_ace .
(Smile) (105 words)
It’s almost like loving two people. One of them is the soft, kind-hearted, but sad millionaire that John fell in love with first. The second is the hard, avenging, comic-book hero that John’s lover becomes at night. Different sides of the same coin, and when John squints he can see a little of both in each other.
He makes sure he’s awake when Batman gets in. When Bruce wearily climbs out of his armored car and into the Batcave. John’s there to unclip his belt and ease off his cape.
The mask is last to come off.
Bruce will stand there in nothing but the mask as he mentally puts away one side of him to become someone else. The mask is what separates them. Bruce’s lips and eyes are the only thing John can see and he lets his fingers trace over Batman’s mouth as he slowly becomes who he was.
John waits for it, he waits for the small smile that is purely Bruce before he reaches up and pulls off the mask. John squeezes him tight, thankful for another night that he’s home safe, and he leads Bruce up to their room.
(Family) (465 words)
Cam’s family scares the pants off of John. Well, they would if John’s pants weren’t firmly attached, unlike his partner’s. But they scare the metaphorical pants off, and that’s bad enough.
Cam’s hand is warm on his back as John pushes in the doorbell to the Mitchell’s house. Cam’s fingers tighten in John’s shirt and John desperately wishes those fingers were wrapped around his own, as he needs something, anything to squeeze. The pressure on his shirt loosens and a warm hand is slipping into his and John wonders if he said that out loud, but then Cam is turning and giving him a reassuring smile that’s so heartbreakingly adorable that John swallows back his fear and straightens up a little.
The door opens.
The next thing John knows is that he’s being hugged tightly by Cam’s momma and Cam’s dad is giving him a pat on the back. Wendy is holding him tightly and Frank is greeting them; he see Cam bend down to give Frank a quick hug. John tries not to flinch and to stand as still as possible to shorten the hug. When she finally lets him go, John doesn’t cling to Cam’s side, he doesn’t. He just… stands really, really close.
Cam’s arm settles around his shoulder, giving him a squeeze as John is led into the dining room. There’s food waiting on the table with pie that John swears Wendy doses with cheerfulness, because whenever he eats it, he’s never the same afterwards for a good day. He’s determined to avoid the pie tonight.
He lets Cam pull out his chair and sits down. There’s a beer being placed in front of him and John forces himself to not guzzle it down and beg for hard liquor. Across the table, Cam gives him a sympathetic smile. He knows that John’s family is nothing like this. He knows that John grew up with a dining room table so large that they had a server who would carry the food dishes from each setting to the next. He knows that John’s father never patted him on the back or let him have beer. He knows that John’s mother never smothered him with hugs or knit him Christmas sweaters and gloves.
But John’s been with Cam for the better part of two decades and John is almost, but not quite, starting to think of Cam’s family as his own. And that’s what scares him. He knows what family is. It’s a Christmas card with computerized signatures. It’s a phone call from the family lawyer. It’s cold and aching and uncaring.
Wendy reaches for his hand at the same time Frank does and they bow their heads to pray.
“Dear Lord,” Wendy says, “Thank you for bringing my sons home safe again."
(Opposite) (488 words)
John’s head is on Castiel’s chest and the angel is gently massaging John’s scalp. It feels good after a long day of running around Atlantis, fixing everyone else’s problems.
“What’s the opposite of good?” John asks. “Is it evil or is it doing nothing?”
“When bad men combine, the good must associate; else they will fall, one by one, an unpitied sacrifice in a contemptible struggle,” Castiel murmurs.
John snorts softly. “I wonder if Edmund Burke ever thought his words would be pondered years later by a man and an angel.”
“He didn’t.”
“Always so literal,” John says fondly.
“Why be anything else?”
John rolls over on top of Castiel, covering the angel’s vessel with his own. Castiel’s hands rest on John’s lower back and John places his ear right over the other man’s heart. “I wish we could always stay like this.”
“I wish this, too, John,” Castiel says. “Someday, perhaps.”
John sighs. “At this rate the Winchesters are going to live forever and then I’ll never really see you. Between you watching over them and trying to fix things in Heaven… I just… I miss you sometimes.”
“I will always come when you call.”
“If you can,” John adds.
There’s a pause. “If I can.” Castiel’s hand moves up John’s back in a comforting manner. “The times I cannot--I want to.”
“I want you to, too,” John murmurs. “But I can’t be selfish.”
“Nor can I.”
“Do you miss me when you’re gone?”
“Always.”
“Rodney says I turn into some kind of love sick puppy when you’re not around. I think he’s probably right.”
“You become an unhealthy canine? I must speak to Meredith imm--”
John pushes down on Castiel before he can get up. “It’s a figure of speech, Cas. It means I miss you.”
Silence stretches over them and John knows that sooner or later Dean or Sam Winchester will call and Castiel will be gone in an instant, leaving John alone again.
“All the good monsters make a lot of empty noise,” John says as though Castiel should know what he’s talking about.
“Real heroes say very little, John. You do good here. You should not doubt that.”
“I always think I can do more.”
“Haniel would be most displeased with me were I to encourage you to risk your life to a greater capacity than you currently do.”
Haniel is John’s personal angel. He’s the one who introduced Castiel to John.
John smiles. “I need to out-hero those Winchesters of yours.”
“Dean said, and I quote, that he would ‘kick that son of a bitch’s ass if he so much as thinks about making you worry even more, Cas.’”
John laughs a little. “I’d like to see him try.”
“I will pass that on.”
“Don’t ever change,” John says.
He feels Castiel press a kiss to his hair as he begins to fall asleep. “I love you, John.”
“Love you, too, Cas.”
(Groovy) (617 words)
A/N: I'm particularly proud of this piece. Everything Connor says is a song lyrics. You get extra love if you can figure out all of the songs (without Google). =D
“Wait, so let me get this straight,” John said, running a hand through his hair. “You lost a bet? With Lorne?”
“If I knew then, what I know now,” Connor said with a shrug.
John pinched the bridge of his nose. “And you can only talk in song quotes?”
“I’ll be alright if you could sing to me.”
“How long do you have to do this for?”
“Life is not what I thought it was, twenty-four hours ago,” Connor answered easily.
“He’s not going to know if you don’t do it while we’re alone,” John said.
“No, I would not sleep in this bed of lies,” Connor said with a shake of his head.
“Where are you even getting all of these? I’ve seen your iPod. There is an unsurprisingly large amount of Irish music and a lot of Johnny Cash.”
Connor grinned. “By pushing their agenda on your subconscious, while you’re unaware they start their brain washing process.”
“I should really stop asking you questions, huh?”
“You live, you learn.”
John sighed and tilted his head up and Connor bent down to give him a quick kiss. John tugged on his shirt and Connor fell into his lap, John’s arms going around his waist to keep him from falling off. John pushed some hair out of Connor’s face. “You’ll have to tell me tomorrow what the bet was about.”
“Take your chances, roll the dice,” Connor answered.
“How are you coming up with these so fast?”
“Can I be your memory?” Connor said, tracing a finger down John’s cheek.
“It’s kind of hot,” John grinned. “The way your mind works.”
“’Cause I’m cold as fire, baby, hot as ice. If you’ve ever been to Heaven, this is twice as nice.”
“I completely agree.” John pressed a kiss to Connor’s jaw. “Should we actually get lunch on our lunch break?”
“Well believe it or not I super-sized my sights on the surprise in a cereal box.”
“… Is that a yes or no?”
Connor kissed him again, this time deeper, his tongue tracing John’s. He leaned their foreheads against each other and said, “Well if you are what you eat in my case I'll be sweet, so come and get some.”
“Are you seriously against eating so much that you‘d rather have sex?” John chuckled.
“You think you’re loveless, is that too much that I’m asking for?”
John laughed loudly and Connor ruffled John’s hair. “You’re something else, you know that, right?”
“We all want something else.”
John winked at him. “I know I do, at least.”
“Cowboy, take me away.”
He pushed Connor up and the linguist stood, holding his hand down for John. John grabbed it and rose to his feet. “Lunch?”
“There would be foods laid out for us with little pre-wrapped sausages and things. They have pre-wrapped sausages but they don’t have pre-wrapped bacon.”
“Mmm, bacon,” John murmured as he followed Connor out of the room. “Now I want a burger.”
“Dijon ketchup,” Connor said.
John laughed again. “Something like that.” He leaned in close to his husband as he asked, “You gonna keep this up when I blow you tonight?”
“We both pursue something worth knowing.”
John wormed his arm around Connor’s waist. “This is seriously turning me on.”
“You’re hot then you’re cold.”
They were in public, but John didn’t care. He leaned over and gave Connor a quick kiss. “Lose more bets in the future, k?”
“I’m bettin’ it all and I’m countin’ on lady luck.”
John hooked his fingers in Connor’s belt loop as they walked. “I can’t help falling in love with you.”
Connor smiled and a soft kiss graced John’s cheek. “We’ve got a groovy kind of love.”
(Outdoors) (245 words)
For John and David’s third anniversary, John takes David camping on the mainland. David loves being outdoors, where the plants live, but John was always more comfortable in the city, in a nice bed, with hot coffee and indoor plumbing. Sure, they’ve been camping quite a few times since getting together, but tonight is special, and David has always wanted to make love under the stars.
John flies them to the mainland, and as a compromise they’ll sleep in the jumper. Everything else they’ll do outside.
David’s buzzing with excitement, and the hand that’s not holding John’s is gesturing out the view screen at various trees and plant life that John can see as he flies them along the coast to a small little nook between cliffs further up.
John lands the jumper as far inland as he can manage and he barely has the jumper shut down before David is pulling him out of the ship. They leave their stuff there and John follows David around outside. David swears up and down that he loves John more than he loves plants, but its moments like this where John doubts that, but doesn’t really care because he’s there. With David. And David is in his bed every night.
“I love you,” John blurts out.
David pauses in the middle of an explanation of the mating habits of luarnaues majoerits and smiles shyly. His hand cups John’s face as he says, “I love you, too, John.”
(Your Choice [cowboy]) (386 words)
John falls in love with Eliot the first time he sees him. It’s the first of many firsts. First time falling for a man, first time falling so fast, first time falling forever.
John works at the coffee shop that Eliot stops at almost every morning. He smiles and makes Eliot’s coffee and tells him a little bit about the roast of the day. Eliot’s polite and tips well and there’s so much more John wants to say than the beans are imported from Africa.
He thinks Eliot’s not the kind of guy who would appreciate John’s number on his coffee sleeve. Mainly because Eliot’s not the kind of guy to use a coffee sleeve. John tries little things. He draws a heart over the ’i’ in Eliot’s name. He mentions that he’s single. He wears his one and only pair of cowboy boots. But Eliot never asks about anything other than the daily blend and John has never been good with words.
On Valentine’s Day John’s allowed to wear red to work; he wears the same black he does the rest of the year. He serves a few excited women, two of whom have given him some Hershey’s Kisses, and some less than excited men, before Eliot arrives.
John smiles at him and starts pouring out Eliot’s coffee, but when he looks up the man is gone. John’s holding the coffee pot and an empty cup and suddenly his day seems miserable. He had just put back the coffee when he hears the door open again. Eliot’s standing there a bruise on his cheekbone, hair in his face, holding a single red rose. He walks up to the counter and offers it to John. “Forgot it in the car,” he says softly.
John reaches out hesitantly for the flower. “For me?”
“Yeah.”
John holds it to his nose and inhales. “It’s beautiful. Thank you.”
“Go out with me?”
“Yes,” John answers immediately.
Eliot laughs nervously and runs a hand through his hair and his bright blue eyes meet John’s. “I’m not a nice guy, John.”
John shrugs. “Maybe I’m not looking for nice.”
“Everybody’s looking for nice.”
John shakes his head. “I’ve just been looking for you.”
(Night) (244 words)
Evan’s favorite time of day is at night. Nighttime is when John is all his. He doesn’t have to share his lover with the rest of Atlantis, or with John’s team, or with Weir. John is his. John’s in his bed, in his arms, wrapped around him, loving him, and just being.
Evan had always been a morning person. Until meeting John. Now he wants to stay up all night and memorize John’s face as he sleeps. He doesn’t want to get up with the alarm, he’d rather talk John into morning sex in the shower or a lazy blow job or a nice, long make-out session. John’s pretty easy like that, willing to go along with whatever Evan suggests.
Evan strokes a hand along John’s back. He can’t see him, with the lights off, the darkness serving as a visual reminder of the time, but he can feel him. John shivers at the touch and lips graze Evan’s bicep, barely touching. John’s tired, and so is Evan, but Evan only gets John’s nights, and he wants them all. So John will stay up for a little bit, but Evan won’t start anything. He’ll just smooth his fingers down John’s skin and map his body out in the dark. He’ll let John sigh his name and whisper words of affection that John can’t say during the day.
Evan’s favorite time of day is at night. So maybe it’s really his favorite time of night.
(Question) (355 words)
“Top you off?” John asks as he wipes the bar around Jonas’ drink.
Jonas eyes his half-full Shirley Temple. “Sure.”
John offers a wink. “Extra cherries, Jonas?”
Jonas loves the Maraschino cherries that come in his drink. Last week John had explained how they used to be real cherries but were then bleached and re-flavored. Jonas is pretty sure John was trying to get him to stop eating so many of the bars’ cherries, but he still loved them, bleached or not. “Yes, please,” he answers with a grin.
John laughs as he reaches for Jonas’ glass. “Anything for that smile.”
He throws out Jonas’s straw as he squirts some more flavored soda water into Jonas’ glass and Jonas watches as he drizzles grenadine into it. Jonas loves it with a bit of lime juice and John doesn’t hesitate to reach for the Rose’s. He pours in just the right amount and then caps Jonas’s glass with a metal shaker. John gives the whole thing a good few shakes before re-righting it. John drops in a handful of cherries that float on top of the ice. He slides the glass back in front of Jonas with a smile that goes right to his eyes.
Jonas reaches over the bar and grabs a new straw, stabbing it into his drink. “Thanks, John.”
“I’ll be late tonight,” John says softly, leaning over the counter. “I’m closing.”
“I’ll wait with you,” Jonas says. The decision is easy enough to make.
“Yeah?” John asks coyly.
“Yup.”
“Maybe later I can make you a Shirley Temple Black,” John says suggestively.
Jonas rolls his eyes. “And ruin a perfectly good Shirley Temple? I don’t think so.”
John leans in closer and Jonas gives him a small kiss before pulling back. John licks his lips thoughtfully, “You know, I never used to like cherries--or pomegranates, for that matter.”
Jonas flushes a deep red. “You just like that I can tie a stem into a knot with my tongue.”
“Well, I do like a talented tongue,” John admits wryly. “Can I get you anything else?”
“Burger?” Jonas asks.
John winks. “Coming right up.”
(Sweet) (402 words)
The first thing that John notices about Steve McGarrett is that he’s sweet. He does polite things such as hold open doors, pull out chairs, and comment on your clothes.
The second thing that John notices about Steve McGarrett is that Steve is fucking crazy. He puts people in shark tanks, dangles them over buildings, and chases them through forests.
The third thing that John notices about Steve McGarrett is that he’s single and he wants John.
Well, John would have notices that if he wasn’t John Sheppard. So it’s probably a good thing that Danny, Steve’s partner, points it out along with detailed directions to Steve’s house.
If Steve’s surprised to see John on his door an hour before midnight, beer in one hand, sandwiches in the other, he doesn’t say anything. He just steps aside and lets John in as though John had been there before and was simply coming home. It kind of felt like coming home, or what John imagined it would feel like had he a home to return to.
Steve takes one of the sandwiches and two of the beers and plops himself back down on the couch. John collapses next to him and definitely doesn’t get butterflies in his stomach when sweet-but-crazy Steve McGarrett puts his arm long the back of the couch, his hand resting on John’s shoulder.
It’s stupid, or it should be. John survives Atlantis and the Wraith and the Asurans and the Genii only to be incapacitated by Steve. He retired to Hawaii because the surf is good and he’s always been a fan of pineapple. He never expected to run into Steve on his day off.
If John had been this forward about what he wanted while he was on Atlantis then things probably would have gone really differently, but he hadn’t been, and this is what it is now and John can’t regret it. He won’t.
“You think to much,” Steve murmurs. His hand moves to John’s neck and plays with the hair there.
John shrugs. “Old habits and everything.”
“Thinkin’ anything good?”
“Just that I might owe Danny some Jersey style pizza and a giant poster of New Jersey.”
Steve laughs. “I already owe him three six packs of Nee Jersey Beer, which believe it or not is a real thing.”
“Why do you owe him?”
“What did you think he always went around giving out my address?”