2. The age thing. The point at which I start looking at people sideways is if they make a habit of dating people who are significantly younger or underage. Then it speaks to them wanting to control the situation, and having a harder time manipulating their peers. There's a world of difference between a long-distance relationship that has no sex involved, nor any such plans for the immediate future, and the kind of controlling ratbastards (male and female alike) who consistently go after underage people. Your situation is in the former category.
3. If it's meant to be, then she'll still be interested after she's legally an adult. I would definitely say it wouldn't be a good idea to get married right away, though.
This may not be something you want me to say, but I can trust you to be blunt with me and I will have the same forthrightness back. Speaking as someone who has been involved in far too many long distance relationships, they have a funny way of making everything about the person seem better. Like the absence makes the heart grow fonder principle, you're dealing with someone that you can't be with but want to be with, and thus you never get to see the shortcomings in the relationship, not the big ones, I'm talking about the little ones that exist in even the most happily married of couples. I don't doubt for a moment you two made each other happy, and really thats the ultimate goal of any relationship, I just want to point out that extra layer that is so incredibly easy to overlook, that might help you to think about in the long run
( ... )
I haven't checked livejournal in... well... forever.
It's weird to hear your situation because I was once on the opposite side. I had a boyfriend who was a good 8 years older than me when I was 16. It was long distance. My parent's didn't approve.
I realized in the end I liked him liking me. I liked that he found me attractive. I was self consious and he made me feel pretty.
Not that this is your situation at all, or that she feels like that.
In retrospect I look at the whole thing and think... well, it was icky. I think mostly because even though I thought I was grown up, I wasn't ready. I don't know if I would have felt any different if he was my own age. Maybe I feel that because he was older he was ready for everything, to be in love, to get married. But I was 16, maybe with a kid my own age we'd both be figuring things out, so it wouldn't seem as weird.
Comments 5
Reply
2. The age thing. The point at which I start looking at people sideways is if they make a habit of dating people who are significantly younger or underage. Then it speaks to them wanting to control the situation, and having a harder time manipulating their peers. There's a world of difference between a long-distance relationship that has no sex involved, nor any such plans for the immediate future, and the kind of controlling ratbastards (male and female alike) who consistently go after underage people. Your situation is in the former category.
3. If it's meant to be, then she'll still be interested after she's legally an adult. I would definitely say it wouldn't be a good idea to get married right away, though.
Reply
Reply
Reply
It's weird to hear your situation because I was once on the opposite side. I had a boyfriend who was a good 8 years older than me when I was 16. It was long distance. My parent's didn't approve.
I realized in the end I liked him liking me. I liked that he found me attractive. I was self consious and he made me feel pretty.
Not that this is your situation at all, or that she feels like that.
In retrospect I look at the whole thing and think... well, it was icky. I think mostly because even though I thought I was grown up, I wasn't ready. I don't know if I would have felt any different if he was my own age. Maybe I feel that because he was older he was ready for everything, to be in love, to get married. But I was 16, maybe with a kid my own age we'd both be figuring things out, so it wouldn't seem as weird.
I dunno.
Reply
Leave a comment