fanfic50: Grave.
Who? Remus Lupin, Teddy Lupin
What? An overdue talk between father and son.
Why? Because the family drama comes to an end, finally.
When? December 7th - hpsixwords 'verse.
Rating: PG.
Even if Teddy hadn't seen Remus walk out of Grimmauld, when he went to look for him in the afternoon he knew where to find him without having to ask anyone. All he had needed to do was check the date on the calendar before he knew where he needed to apparate to.
As he walked up to his father, who was sitting on a bench under a tree in the cemetery, he smiled very slightly to himself as he realized that maybe he knew his father better than he gave himself credit for.
Digging his hands into his pockets, he quietly made his way over to him. Remus' gaze was lost ahead and had been immersed so deeply into his thoughts that he didn't notice he had company until Teddy sat down at the other edge of the bench. Blinking a bit in surprise at first, Remus couldn't help but frown in confusion. "How did you know I would be here? I didn't tell anyone where I would be."
Teddy smiled slightly. "No, but I knew today was the day when your dad passed away." He looked over at the grave that was just a few feet away as he huddled a little under his jacket before turning back to his father. "I got curious once and decided to look for information about your parents, and I found his grave. I usually come today, too. Just to leave some flowers, and make sure it's all ... you know, clean. I just hadn't been able to stop by yet."
If Remus had been surprised before, he couldn't even explain how he felt right now. Shocked? That could probably cover some of it. "Oh. Well... Thank you for doing that. I appreciate it."
"He was my grandfather," he said quietly, turning to the grave once more. "You don't need to thank me for that. Even if I didn't know him he's family. Do you mind if I stay for a little while?"
Remus just shook his head, turning back to the grave as well and falling silent once more. Not only did he not say anything because he had no idea what to say to his son - it had started to get harder and harder to talk to him after the argument they had had - but because he simply didn't feel like talking. He hadn't felt like talking in days now, for one reason or another, unless he was spoken to.
It was probably a good thing, then, that Teddy didn't leave the silence last for long. "Dad, could I talk to you?"
He didn't have to look at him for long to realize that something was weighing him down. Again. By now he should probably know better than to ask, but the words slipped out before he could stop himself. "Are you all right?"
Teddy didn't answer right away, instead he just stared at the ground for a moment as he tried to find the words he needed to use. It was probably a bad place where they could talk - in the cemetery in front of his grandfather's grave - but if he didn't do it now he wasn't sure when he would be able to again. Being away from everyone they knew was giving him more courage to talk to him, because it was a sort of neutral ground. "I haven't been." It was the most honest answer he could give him. "I have been struggling, with what I lived through and all the changes around me, and I haven't been acting like myself."
"Teddy--"
"No, please let me finish?" Remus pursed his lips at the request and gave a small nod, which made Teddy smile very faintly. "I just don't think it's okay that I acted how I did. And, before I do anything else, I wanted to apologize. I really am sorry, Dad. I don't even know how to say it so you'll believe me."
Now it was Remus the one that didn't answer right away; he just stared at his son and watched him carefully. It would be a lie if he were to say that their argument hadn't created a big void between them that he had no idea how to close. It would also be a lie to say that their argument hadn't made him put up a wall or two how Teddy had done to protect himself. There was just so much that a person could take before that happened, and Remus had reached that point.
As he looked at Teddy now, though, he could easily see that that wall was no longer between them. Not from Teddy's side, anyway, which made him (cautiously) try to lower his own. "I do believe you."
"...you do?"
"I do," Remus said with a nod and a small smile of his own. "We all knew you were going through a hard time, Teddy. We just couldn't stand aside while you tried to deal with that all on your own, so we did our best to try and help you even if..."
"You can say it. Even if I didn't let you." Teddy sighed. "I'm just so sorry you had to see me act like that. And it wasn't because it was you, I just didn't want to let anyone in. I wanted to deal with things on my own, but... I couldn't. And that got me even worse because of how helpless I felt, so that's never good."
Once more Remus stayed silent, but this time it was because...how could he say something, without sounding like a hypocrite? Wasn't that exactly what he did, try to deal with things on his own? He always tried to shut others away whenever they would try to help, too, unless he couldn't help it. Not on purpose, and it was just a reaction that was natural by now after years of doing so, but it would still be hypocritical to scold his son for doing something he'd do as well. "So you're better now?"
"I think so." Teddy's smile widened a little. "I talked to Mum, and I'm trying to focus on other things that help the days go by easier. Which helps me clear my head, and think easier about what happened so I'm not weighed down by everything. I just wish I had figured this out much sooner, though, because that way I wouldn't have hurt you. The things I said..."
Remus shook his head. "You were upset. I understand. Now I do, at least, because I see that you really are trying." His own smile grew in the slightest. "You do look much better."
Now Teddy grinned. "Yeah? Look, I can even do this again." He pointed towards his hair and let his hair morph into the usual turquoise that signified that he was all right and happy. It was the same shade of turquoise he had had as a baby.
Remus could only stare at first; partly because he hadn't seen him morph into that colour for so long, but mainly because that shade of turquoise always managed to make his heart ache. Usually not in a bad way, because it was his way of seeing his baby boy all grown up and well, but today it just made him realize how much he had truly missed him.
Teddy, noticing the way his eyes softened, moved over so sit closer to him before hugging him. Tightly. "I really am glad you're here, Dad," he said in a bit of a whisper. "And I'm so sorry..."
"Shh." Remus returned the hug just as tightly before gently rubbing his back as if he was a child again and he was trying to soothe him. "Things will be all right. I promise."
With a small smile he kissed his son's temple before releasing him from the hug so they could sit back against the bench. Remus' eyes went directly towards the grave once they did that, now not looking quite as lost as he had looked when Teddy had shown up. He had come to visit his father's grave to talk to him about his children, wanting to tell him of those grandchildren he would never be able to meet but who he'd be so proud of. Once he had shown up, though, the only thing that he had been able to do was sit there and stare at the grave as he had started to wonder if one day things between himself and Teddy would be resolved, or if things would end the way they ended between himself and his father.
And now he had his answer. His son - his bright-turquoise haired son - was next to him, smiling. Teddy had no idea that things had been so strained between his father and his grandfather, but Remus would never dare to correct him. Him or any of the children, because he knew for certain that his parents would have been amazing grandparents. They would have spoiled the children rotten from day one, no matter how things were between them, and to Remus that was all that mattered.
Once they stood Teddy stretched while Remus took a deep long breath as a cold breeze passed. "Goodbye, granddad. We'll see you later."
Unable to help it, Remus smiled softly as he watched Teddy set down a white rose on the grave, before turning to look at it more closely. 'You really would be proud,' he thought, as if talking to his father. 'Of him, and the rest of my children. I know you would be. You and I never resolved things, but... Knowing that you and Mum would have loved them and would have been proud of them is enough.'
Taking out his wand, Remus produced a white flower of his own and set it down next to Teddy's. "Goodbye, Dad."
Teddy smiled at his father, and when Remus turned to him his own lips twitched upwards at the corners. Things would be different from now on, Remus thought to himself as he walked away from the grave along with Teddy. They might not be easier all the time, but they would be different. And they would make them work. He refused to let another generation of Lupin men distance themselves from each other. He and his father had already made that mistake, due to circumstances out of their control, but...things would be different. He and his son would make sure of it.
What? An overdue talk between father and son.
Why? Because the family drama comes to an end, finally.
When? December 7th - hpsixwords 'verse.
Rating: PG.
Even if Teddy hadn't seen Remus walk out of Grimmauld, when he went to look for him in the afternoon he knew where to find him without having to ask anyone. All he had needed to do was check the date on the calendar before he knew where he needed to apparate to.
As he walked up to his father, who was sitting on a bench under a tree in the cemetery, he smiled very slightly to himself as he realized that maybe he knew his father better than he gave himself credit for.
Digging his hands into his pockets, he quietly made his way over to him. Remus' gaze was lost ahead and had been immersed so deeply into his thoughts that he didn't notice he had company until Teddy sat down at the other edge of the bench. Blinking a bit in surprise at first, Remus couldn't help but frown in confusion. "How did you know I would be here? I didn't tell anyone where I would be."
Teddy smiled slightly. "No, but I knew today was the day when your dad passed away." He looked over at the grave that was just a few feet away as he huddled a little under his jacket before turning back to his father. "I got curious once and decided to look for information about your parents, and I found his grave. I usually come today, too. Just to leave some flowers, and make sure it's all ... you know, clean. I just hadn't been able to stop by yet."
If Remus had been surprised before, he couldn't even explain how he felt right now. Shocked? That could probably cover some of it. "Oh. Well... Thank you for doing that. I appreciate it."
"He was my grandfather," he said quietly, turning to the grave once more. "You don't need to thank me for that. Even if I didn't know him he's family. Do you mind if I stay for a little while?"
Remus just shook his head, turning back to the grave as well and falling silent once more. Not only did he not say anything because he had no idea what to say to his son - it had started to get harder and harder to talk to him after the argument they had had - but because he simply didn't feel like talking. He hadn't felt like talking in days now, for one reason or another, unless he was spoken to.
It was probably a good thing, then, that Teddy didn't leave the silence last for long. "Dad, could I talk to you?"
He didn't have to look at him for long to realize that something was weighing him down. Again. By now he should probably know better than to ask, but the words slipped out before he could stop himself. "Are you all right?"
Teddy didn't answer right away, instead he just stared at the ground for a moment as he tried to find the words he needed to use. It was probably a bad place where they could talk - in the cemetery in front of his grandfather's grave - but if he didn't do it now he wasn't sure when he would be able to again. Being away from everyone they knew was giving him more courage to talk to him, because it was a sort of neutral ground. "I haven't been." It was the most honest answer he could give him. "I have been struggling, with what I lived through and all the changes around me, and I haven't been acting like myself."
"Teddy--"
"No, please let me finish?" Remus pursed his lips at the request and gave a small nod, which made Teddy smile very faintly. "I just don't think it's okay that I acted how I did. And, before I do anything else, I wanted to apologize. I really am sorry, Dad. I don't even know how to say it so you'll believe me."
Now it was Remus the one that didn't answer right away; he just stared at his son and watched him carefully. It would be a lie if he were to say that their argument hadn't created a big void between them that he had no idea how to close. It would also be a lie to say that their argument hadn't made him put up a wall or two how Teddy had done to protect himself. There was just so much that a person could take before that happened, and Remus had reached that point.
As he looked at Teddy now, though, he could easily see that that wall was no longer between them. Not from Teddy's side, anyway, which made him (cautiously) try to lower his own. "I do believe you."
"...you do?"
"I do," Remus said with a nod and a small smile of his own. "We all knew you were going through a hard time, Teddy. We just couldn't stand aside while you tried to deal with that all on your own, so we did our best to try and help you even if..."
"You can say it. Even if I didn't let you." Teddy sighed. "I'm just so sorry you had to see me act like that. And it wasn't because it was you, I just didn't want to let anyone in. I wanted to deal with things on my own, but... I couldn't. And that got me even worse because of how helpless I felt, so that's never good."
Once more Remus stayed silent, but this time it was because...how could he say something, without sounding like a hypocrite? Wasn't that exactly what he did, try to deal with things on his own? He always tried to shut others away whenever they would try to help, too, unless he couldn't help it. Not on purpose, and it was just a reaction that was natural by now after years of doing so, but it would still be hypocritical to scold his son for doing something he'd do as well. "So you're better now?"
"I think so." Teddy's smile widened a little. "I talked to Mum, and I'm trying to focus on other things that help the days go by easier. Which helps me clear my head, and think easier about what happened so I'm not weighed down by everything. I just wish I had figured this out much sooner, though, because that way I wouldn't have hurt you. The things I said..."
Remus shook his head. "You were upset. I understand. Now I do, at least, because I see that you really are trying." His own smile grew in the slightest. "You do look much better."
Now Teddy grinned. "Yeah? Look, I can even do this again." He pointed towards his hair and let his hair morph into the usual turquoise that signified that he was all right and happy. It was the same shade of turquoise he had had as a baby.
Remus could only stare at first; partly because he hadn't seen him morph into that colour for so long, but mainly because that shade of turquoise always managed to make his heart ache. Usually not in a bad way, because it was his way of seeing his baby boy all grown up and well, but today it just made him realize how much he had truly missed him.
Teddy, noticing the way his eyes softened, moved over so sit closer to him before hugging him. Tightly. "I really am glad you're here, Dad," he said in a bit of a whisper. "And I'm so sorry..."
"Shh." Remus returned the hug just as tightly before gently rubbing his back as if he was a child again and he was trying to soothe him. "Things will be all right. I promise."
With a small smile he kissed his son's temple before releasing him from the hug so they could sit back against the bench. Remus' eyes went directly towards the grave once they did that, now not looking quite as lost as he had looked when Teddy had shown up. He had come to visit his father's grave to talk to him about his children, wanting to tell him of those grandchildren he would never be able to meet but who he'd be so proud of. Once he had shown up, though, the only thing that he had been able to do was sit there and stare at the grave as he had started to wonder if one day things between himself and Teddy would be resolved, or if things would end the way they ended between himself and his father.
And now he had his answer. His son - his bright-turquoise haired son - was next to him, smiling. Teddy had no idea that things had been so strained between his father and his grandfather, but Remus would never dare to correct him. Him or any of the children, because he knew for certain that his parents would have been amazing grandparents. They would have spoiled the children rotten from day one, no matter how things were between them, and to Remus that was all that mattered.
Once they stood Teddy stretched while Remus took a deep long breath as a cold breeze passed. "Goodbye, granddad. We'll see you later."
Unable to help it, Remus smiled softly as he watched Teddy set down a white rose on the grave, before turning to look at it more closely. 'You really would be proud,' he thought, as if talking to his father. 'Of him, and the rest of my children. I know you would be. You and I never resolved things, but... Knowing that you and Mum would have loved them and would have been proud of them is enough.'
Taking out his wand, Remus produced a white flower of his own and set it down next to Teddy's. "Goodbye, Dad."
Teddy smiled at his father, and when Remus turned to him his own lips twitched upwards at the corners. Things would be different from now on, Remus thought to himself as he walked away from the grave along with Teddy. They might not be easier all the time, but they would be different. And they would make them work. He refused to let another generation of Lupin men distance themselves from each other. He and his father had already made that mistake, due to circumstances out of their control, but...things would be different. He and his son would make sure of it.