Luna Lovegood Quiz
Luna Lovegood is an SSHG fangirl favorite. She pops up in all sorts of stories supporting Severus and Hermione. Her presence assures a little looney fun and some startlingly true statements made in a matter-of-fact manner. One couldn't ask for a more interesting friend!
Want to give Hermione a run for her money in the know-it-all field? Simply play the quiz by commenting on this post with your answers at any time over the weekend. All comments with answers will be screened until the answer sheet is posted on Monday morning EDT. On Monday, all quizzlings with the correct answers will receive a pretty banner to prove their quiz prowess. Ready? Set? Play!
Match the quotes to the story titles without picking the red herring titles:
Darkness Past by Mary West aka reynardo
Squid Lake by pennfana
The Blameless Vestal's Lot by mundungus42
The Caprine Intervention by iulia_linnea
Murder Most Fowl by m_mcgonagall_65
The Match by littleone_17
The Plight-Trothed Bride by beaweasley2 WIP
Karakuri by talesofsnape
The Life Unlived by sshg316
First Loves and Last Loves by blueartemis07
Too Much of a Good Thing by hilaritasetlux
The Looking Glass by annietalbot
1. Luna sat down next to her on the window seat. "You're tired."
"And grouchy."
"It seems silly to come to a party when you're tired and grouchy, unless you're dressed up as Severus Snape, like that fellow who told me you were in here."
"I'm inclined to agree."
"Oh good, I'll help you change your costume, then. You'll make a much more accurate Snape if you make it clear that Snape was attacked by a flock of Winksquifflers."
Hermione stared at Luna. "What?"
"It's a theory of Daddy's that he's written about in this week's Quibbler. It goes like this: Severus Snape was Dumbledore's spy and a potions master, right?"
"Right," said Hermione, wondering where this conversation was headed.
"So he would have known that Nagini posed a threat to him. He would have built up an immunity to her venom or have an antidote on hand, maybe even a bezoar, thus allowing him to survive the snakebite. However, the bite weakened him, so when he stumbled out of the hidden tunnel, he was ravaged the Winksquifflers that nest in the Whomping Willow."
"But Professor Snape died from blood loss. I saw him die."
"You saw what he wanted you to see," said Luna matter-of-factly. "He even said on the first day of class that he could put a stopper in death."
"So, Professor Snape died from these winksthingees."
"Winksquifflers," corrected Luna, "and no, they attacked him, but he didn't die. Daddy thinks Professor Snape left the wizarding world to star in an international tour of 'Phantom of the Opera,' but I'm trying to get him to leave that part out. It can't possibly be true."
"It can't?"
"Of course not. Professor Snape was a baritone, not a tenor."
2. "I just have a few quick questions for you. How much do you know about the Hogwarts Giant Squid?"
"Not a lot," Luna admitted. "It seems to be the last one of its species, though it seems to be fairly closely related to a couple of squids known to Muggles-most notably Architeuthis dux, commonly known as the 'Giant Squid,' and Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the 'Colossal Squid'. There are rumours that it's really Godric Gryffindor in his Animagus form, but they aren't really given much credence; while it's true that the Giant Squid has lived in the Black Lake since the time of the founders of Hogwarts, it's far more likely that they enchanted it to have an unusually long lifespan. Besides, Gryffindor himself is known to have died sometime in the eleventh century. Interestingly enough, though, it's said that as long as there's a Squid in the waters of the Black Lake, the castle will be safe from water-borne dangers."
"And if there wasn't a Squid?"
Luna looked sharply at her. "Is the Squid in trouble?"
"We think so, but we're not sure what kind of trouble she's in," Hermione admitted. "She's been exhibiting some strange behaviour lately, and it's possible that she is nearing the end of her lifespan. If we can't cure her, we may need to get her to reproduce. According to the Merpeople, she's the only one of her kind, and if what you say is true, then we shouldn't let the Black Lake be without a Squid of her type for very long."
"You seem to be more open to ideas like that than you used to be, Hermione. Perhaps your job's been good for you," Luna noted.
Hermione gave her friend a wry smile.
3. “What is all this?” Hermione asked as she and Luna returned the sitting room on the first floor, followed by several floating boxes and a large trunk.
“You’ll see. Let’s put them down right here,” Luna said, using her wand to clear a spot in the middle of the room. “You might want to sit down. There’s a bit of an explanation involved.”
Hermione’s eyebrows rose. “All right,” she said, curious as to what Luna intended.
Luna settled into the armchair opposite the sofa and said, “What do you think of Severus Snape?”
Caught unawares by the abrupt change in subject, Hermione said the first thing that came to mind: “He was a hero.”
Luna’s expression was more serious than Hermione could ever recall having witnessed. “I agree. So do a lot of people … or at least they do now. The British Museum of Wizardry certainly thinks so. They’re planning an exhibit on the War, and they want to have an entire section dedicated to him and his role.”
Although she was confused as to how Severus Snape had anything to do with the items they had just hauled down from the attic, Hermione nodded. “I read something about that. According to the Prophet, the Ministry is waiting to hear from Professor Snape’s beneficiaries as to what personal items they will allow to be part of the exhibit.”
Luna smiled. “Yes, that’s right.”
Hermione waited for further comment, but there was none. Her brow furrowed as she slowly pieced together the puzzle. “You mean … you ….”
“Yes. Well, actually, he left everything to my father and me. These-” Luna said, waving a hand at the trunk and boxes, “-make up the entirety of his estate.”
“I’m sorry, Luna, but I don’t understand. Why would Professor Snape have named your family as the beneficiary to his will?”
4. Luna smiled distantly, staring into the more interesting portions of the shop without appearing to actually see anything, while Hermione added finger-drumming to her percussive noise. The manager was helping an endlessly indecisive child of perhaps eighteen to choose a wedding robe, and she was now three minutes past the time for Hermione's appointment.
"She's far too young to be getting married," hissed Hermione to Luna. "And anyone that indecisive is undoubtedly marrying the wrong man anyway. I've an appointment."
"Oh, it's quite common for a pureblood witch to be married at her age," whispered Luna with exasperating equanimity. "And she's probably indecisive because she's only met her future husband twice and can't decide whether appearing attractive or hideous would be more to her advantage. Oh look, here comes Glinda now." Luna turned her dreamy eyes towards a well-dressed woman of middle years approaching them briskly with a welcoming smile.
Three hours later saw Hermione pleased with her own robe, the rich fabric of which was moderated by its severe simplicity of style. The precise tailoring showed off the line of her neck, shoulders, and back while maintaining a strict modesty that was, for the moment, the height of fashion. Even more important, she knew Severus would appreciate both the suggestion and the restraint.
Hermione had foolishly allowed Luna to choose the color of her own robes, but Hermione had at least talked her down to a softer tone of yellow than the canary she had originally chosen. She didn't have to worry about robes for Draco (honestly, the man had more clothing than Lavender, and better taste, too) and her parents were planning to wear Muggle attire. The only thing left was robes for Severus.
The shop manager was charming the mannequin to reflect Severus' approximate build, instructed by Hermione, and a number of deep black robes were unfolding themselves neatly on a nearby counter. Their fabrics were as opulent as those of her robe, but she discarded all but the blackest. Next she removed those which were shiny and those which were dull, those which were too stiff to billow and those which were too flimsy to hold their shape. That left only one robe, beautifully cut in a wool-silk blend that had only enough sheen to exaggerate the velvety blackness of the fabric where it fell in deep folds. There was only one thing wrong with it.
It didn't have enough buttons.
5. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you why I set you up with Rolf, but I wanted your honest opinion of him, not a report in triplicate about his background, proclivities, and-"
"I don't do things like that," Hermione protested.
"Yes, you do," Luna said, taking a sip of cider. "Now, must I ask you again?"
Rolling her eyes, Hermione replied, "No, I liked him-for you. Ask the poor man out before he has a fit. He's owled me about you three times since I saw him."
Luna giggled. "I wonder why he hasn't owled me?"
Hermione snorted. "Really, 'Apprentice Lovegood'? You are rather intimidating."
"You think so?"
She's probably already forgotten that rude wizard, Hermione thought, shaking her head. "I do, and from what you've told me, Master Snape is hell on his trainees', er, friends."
"That's true. Severus-"
Severus? Hermione thought, surprised.
"-doesn't like it when we waste our time, especially on 'the undeserving'. I think his standards are a bit high, but Rolf apparently meets them."
"If that's true, why did you want my approval?"
"Because you're my friend."
Luna's matter-of-factness made Hermione smile.
6. "You're going?" Hermione asked, peering up at Luna Lovegood.
Luna nodded. "It's the monthly meeting of The Thaumatobiological Society. Daddy is really looking forward to the talk on feral Fwoopers. Apparently, a pair escaped captivity in Lagos about a decade ago, and now there's a thriving colony. The speaker's an old friend of his. He's been studying them for the last three years. You could come, too. I'm meeting Daddy at the Leaky Cauldron for dinner beforehand, and you're not meant to work on these when there's no one else here."
Hermione grimaced. "I can't. I'm supposed to go to the Burrow for dinner to discuss wedding arrangements with Molly."
"I thought your parents had hired that Muggle castle?"
"They did, but if Molly had her way we'd have two services. Just don't ask."
"And Ronald? What does he want?"
"I have no idea. He conveniently seems to have his mouth full every time he's asked a question. I'm still trying to work out whether that's because Molly plans it that way or because he does."
Luna smiled beatifically. "Probably both. Don't stay too long."
"I won't. I promise. I'll just finish filling in the R.A.S.I.53 for this," Hermione promised, picking up a small cube. To the right of her desk was a crate of other miscellaneous items. To the left was a similar crate with items which she had already deemed safe, and a smaller, heavily warded chest of those which were no longer Rare And Suspicious Items, but Proven Dark Artefacts. "No tests. Just the preliminary descriptions."
"Be careful. Wrackspurts tend to come out in the twilight. If you were hit by a Putrefying Curse, then we would never get the stains out of the chair, and Ronald would be upset."
7. "Luna, you're crazy."
The new owner of the large house on the hill just smiled as she opened the door for Hermione Granger. Piles of loose paper and dust bunnies gently drifted in the breeze, and it took all Hermione's self-control not to ask if there were Puffskeins hiding in the wainscoting. A slight sour smell from the nearby river wafted past, but the house itself was light and airy, quite different from the industrial town huddling at the bottom of the slope and stretching out to the north as far as one could see.
"It is rather large, Hermione, but just think. We'll be able to fit in all the children, and their pets, and hopefully there will be some healing at last." Luna Lovegood's voice was quietly sad, her normally buoyant state still to recover properly from the losses of the war. "There's fourteen orphans, including the three whose parents are at St Mungo's; and several people have offered to come and teach. Andromeda Tonks wants to help and bring Teddy, and I think it will do her good." She looked around the reception hall and grimaced. "But we've got to get the place cleaned and furnished before then. And I don't want it to look like a hospital."
"And neither do I." Hermione walked over to the largest wall space. A few tattered lists were stuck to its surface, the yellowing tape showing their age. "What was this before?"
Luna shrugged as she ran her hands along the top of the old iron central heating. "Some sort of short-term foster care."
8. "You got a letter too, Luna. How are you feeling about your match? Are you upset or do you feel okay?"
"Actually, Hermione, I'm quite happy with my match. I think we'll be really good together, I don't know why I didn't think of him before. I think I've dreamed about him though. I should remember to pay attention to my dreams more often. Like the one I had last night. I think that might have been a premonition."
"I'm sure I'll regret this, but what did you dream?"
"Well, it was really interesting. I was flying over South Wales and suddenly I was surrounded by a flock of flying Pygmy Puffs. I'm not sure why George doesn't carry them at his store, maybe they're hard to keep control of, they do like to escape their cages. The Pygmy Puffs swarmed around me, it was lovely all pinks, purples, blues, and oranges. Then they broke apart and started creating beautiful designs in the sky. I quite enjoyed their likeness of Professor Snape, though I've never seen him so colorful before. Are you okay, Hermione? You seem to be choking on your toast." Luna handed Hermione a glass of water and patted her on the back until Hermione waved her off. "Well, anyway. I think the dream was trying to tell me something. I'll need to study it more to figure out what."
"That's great Luna! I'm glad that you're happy with your match. I hope things work out well for you. I have to admit, I'm pretty shocked about my match. However, I have to get to my apprenticeship, so I guess I'll have to think more about it on my break. If you see Tracey, will you ask her to leave me a note about whether she still wants to go shopping in Muggle London tomorrow night?"
Hermione swallowed the last of her tea and grabbed her cloak off the hook by the door. She would just have to shove thoughts of Severus Snape to the back of her mind. She didn't have time for them and her apprenticeship didn't leave room for a wandering mind.
9. Where was I? Oh, Lovegood. Damn her.
She was outraged by the bargain I struck with the Ministry. I would not be prosecuted for any of my crimes, as long as I agreed to leave the wizarding world for a period of no less than eight years. I would not have access to a wand or any other means of performing magic during that time.
The Quibbler's headlines screeched (literally) about the injustice for weeks. Lovegood organised protests (nobody came), Owl campaigns (the few owls who were sent to the Ministry's newly-formed Department of Justice made a terrible mess and Lovegood paid fines in the amount of the clean-up cost), and labour strikes (these were successful, as everyone likes an excuse to skive off work for a few days).
However, interest waned, and other causes captured the alleged mind of the Quibbler's editor, and Severus Snape faded into well-earned obscurity.
Until the day that, nearly seven years after my voluntary exile, she appeared inside my front door. Just as if the wards weren't there.
"Hello, Professor," she said, as if it were a lovely spring day, instead of a foul winter's night. I could see the sleet clinging to her cap and dripping from her nose.
"Goodbye, Lovegood. You have until the count of ten to leave before I hex you."
"I brought this for you, so you can catch up on what's happening in wizarding society. That way, when you return, you won't feel like you're out of step." Her pale blue eyes were guileless. She'd make the perfect spokeswoman for some charity, intent on inflicting its goodwill on unwitting individuals seeking only to get on with their lives.
"And anyway, you can't hex me. You don't have your wand."
She proffered a parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.
10. Hermione wasn't sure she had seen correctly, but she thought Luna Lovegood was coming towards the patio. A few steps more confirmed her suspicion as Luna stepped through the doorway. "Luna! I'm so surprised to see you here!"
"Hello, Hermione. It's good to see you, too. Why are you surprised to see me? I knew you would be here."
"I would think you'd never want to come back to Malfoy Manor after... what happened to you here."
Luna replied, "Oh, I came with someone." She turned towards a young man walking towards them. He was plain but friendly-looking with brown hair and blue eyes. Smiling, he said, "Luna, did you see the white peacock on the lawn?" Seeing Hermione, he said, "Oh, hello. I'm sorry, did I interrupt?"
"Hermione Granger, I'd like to introduce my fiancé, Rolf Scamander."
"Rolf, I'm very happy to meet you," Hermione said as she shook his hand. In mock indignation, Hermione continued, "But I can't believe you never gave me a hint! How long has this been going on?"
"Remember the expedition when I went to South America? The one I went on to prove the existence of the bifflebug?" Luna asked. Hermione nodded. "Rolf was on the expedition with me. In fact, his grandfather was leading it."
"He was leading an expedition to find the bifflebug?" Hermione asked, confused.
Want to give Hermione a run for her money in the know-it-all field? Simply play the quiz by commenting on this post with your answers at any time over the weekend. All comments with answers will be screened until the answer sheet is posted on Monday morning EDT. On Monday, all quizzlings with the correct answers will receive a pretty banner to prove their quiz prowess. Ready? Set? Play!
Match the quotes to the story titles without picking the red herring titles:
Darkness Past by Mary West aka reynardo
Squid Lake by pennfana
The Blameless Vestal's Lot by mundungus42
The Caprine Intervention by iulia_linnea
Murder Most Fowl by m_mcgonagall_65
The Match by littleone_17
The Plight-Trothed Bride by beaweasley2 WIP
Karakuri by talesofsnape
The Life Unlived by sshg316
First Loves and Last Loves by blueartemis07
Too Much of a Good Thing by hilaritasetlux
The Looking Glass by annietalbot
1. Luna sat down next to her on the window seat. "You're tired."
"And grouchy."
"It seems silly to come to a party when you're tired and grouchy, unless you're dressed up as Severus Snape, like that fellow who told me you were in here."
"I'm inclined to agree."
"Oh good, I'll help you change your costume, then. You'll make a much more accurate Snape if you make it clear that Snape was attacked by a flock of Winksquifflers."
Hermione stared at Luna. "What?"
"It's a theory of Daddy's that he's written about in this week's Quibbler. It goes like this: Severus Snape was Dumbledore's spy and a potions master, right?"
"Right," said Hermione, wondering where this conversation was headed.
"So he would have known that Nagini posed a threat to him. He would have built up an immunity to her venom or have an antidote on hand, maybe even a bezoar, thus allowing him to survive the snakebite. However, the bite weakened him, so when he stumbled out of the hidden tunnel, he was ravaged the Winksquifflers that nest in the Whomping Willow."
"But Professor Snape died from blood loss. I saw him die."
"You saw what he wanted you to see," said Luna matter-of-factly. "He even said on the first day of class that he could put a stopper in death."
"So, Professor Snape died from these winksthingees."
"Winksquifflers," corrected Luna, "and no, they attacked him, but he didn't die. Daddy thinks Professor Snape left the wizarding world to star in an international tour of 'Phantom of the Opera,' but I'm trying to get him to leave that part out. It can't possibly be true."
"It can't?"
"Of course not. Professor Snape was a baritone, not a tenor."
2. "I just have a few quick questions for you. How much do you know about the Hogwarts Giant Squid?"
"Not a lot," Luna admitted. "It seems to be the last one of its species, though it seems to be fairly closely related to a couple of squids known to Muggles-most notably Architeuthis dux, commonly known as the 'Giant Squid,' and Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni, the 'Colossal Squid'. There are rumours that it's really Godric Gryffindor in his Animagus form, but they aren't really given much credence; while it's true that the Giant Squid has lived in the Black Lake since the time of the founders of Hogwarts, it's far more likely that they enchanted it to have an unusually long lifespan. Besides, Gryffindor himself is known to have died sometime in the eleventh century. Interestingly enough, though, it's said that as long as there's a Squid in the waters of the Black Lake, the castle will be safe from water-borne dangers."
"And if there wasn't a Squid?"
Luna looked sharply at her. "Is the Squid in trouble?"
"We think so, but we're not sure what kind of trouble she's in," Hermione admitted. "She's been exhibiting some strange behaviour lately, and it's possible that she is nearing the end of her lifespan. If we can't cure her, we may need to get her to reproduce. According to the Merpeople, she's the only one of her kind, and if what you say is true, then we shouldn't let the Black Lake be without a Squid of her type for very long."
"You seem to be more open to ideas like that than you used to be, Hermione. Perhaps your job's been good for you," Luna noted.
Hermione gave her friend a wry smile.
3. “What is all this?” Hermione asked as she and Luna returned the sitting room on the first floor, followed by several floating boxes and a large trunk.
“You’ll see. Let’s put them down right here,” Luna said, using her wand to clear a spot in the middle of the room. “You might want to sit down. There’s a bit of an explanation involved.”
Hermione’s eyebrows rose. “All right,” she said, curious as to what Luna intended.
Luna settled into the armchair opposite the sofa and said, “What do you think of Severus Snape?”
Caught unawares by the abrupt change in subject, Hermione said the first thing that came to mind: “He was a hero.”
Luna’s expression was more serious than Hermione could ever recall having witnessed. “I agree. So do a lot of people … or at least they do now. The British Museum of Wizardry certainly thinks so. They’re planning an exhibit on the War, and they want to have an entire section dedicated to him and his role.”
Although she was confused as to how Severus Snape had anything to do with the items they had just hauled down from the attic, Hermione nodded. “I read something about that. According to the Prophet, the Ministry is waiting to hear from Professor Snape’s beneficiaries as to what personal items they will allow to be part of the exhibit.”
Luna smiled. “Yes, that’s right.”
Hermione waited for further comment, but there was none. Her brow furrowed as she slowly pieced together the puzzle. “You mean … you ….”
“Yes. Well, actually, he left everything to my father and me. These-” Luna said, waving a hand at the trunk and boxes, “-make up the entirety of his estate.”
“I’m sorry, Luna, but I don’t understand. Why would Professor Snape have named your family as the beneficiary to his will?”
4. Luna smiled distantly, staring into the more interesting portions of the shop without appearing to actually see anything, while Hermione added finger-drumming to her percussive noise. The manager was helping an endlessly indecisive child of perhaps eighteen to choose a wedding robe, and she was now three minutes past the time for Hermione's appointment.
"She's far too young to be getting married," hissed Hermione to Luna. "And anyone that indecisive is undoubtedly marrying the wrong man anyway. I've an appointment."
"Oh, it's quite common for a pureblood witch to be married at her age," whispered Luna with exasperating equanimity. "And she's probably indecisive because she's only met her future husband twice and can't decide whether appearing attractive or hideous would be more to her advantage. Oh look, here comes Glinda now." Luna turned her dreamy eyes towards a well-dressed woman of middle years approaching them briskly with a welcoming smile.
Three hours later saw Hermione pleased with her own robe, the rich fabric of which was moderated by its severe simplicity of style. The precise tailoring showed off the line of her neck, shoulders, and back while maintaining a strict modesty that was, for the moment, the height of fashion. Even more important, she knew Severus would appreciate both the suggestion and the restraint.
Hermione had foolishly allowed Luna to choose the color of her own robes, but Hermione had at least talked her down to a softer tone of yellow than the canary she had originally chosen. She didn't have to worry about robes for Draco (honestly, the man had more clothing than Lavender, and better taste, too) and her parents were planning to wear Muggle attire. The only thing left was robes for Severus.
The shop manager was charming the mannequin to reflect Severus' approximate build, instructed by Hermione, and a number of deep black robes were unfolding themselves neatly on a nearby counter. Their fabrics were as opulent as those of her robe, but she discarded all but the blackest. Next she removed those which were shiny and those which were dull, those which were too stiff to billow and those which were too flimsy to hold their shape. That left only one robe, beautifully cut in a wool-silk blend that had only enough sheen to exaggerate the velvety blackness of the fabric where it fell in deep folds. There was only one thing wrong with it.
It didn't have enough buttons.
5. "I'm sorry that I didn't tell you why I set you up with Rolf, but I wanted your honest opinion of him, not a report in triplicate about his background, proclivities, and-"
"I don't do things like that," Hermione protested.
"Yes, you do," Luna said, taking a sip of cider. "Now, must I ask you again?"
Rolling her eyes, Hermione replied, "No, I liked him-for you. Ask the poor man out before he has a fit. He's owled me about you three times since I saw him."
Luna giggled. "I wonder why he hasn't owled me?"
Hermione snorted. "Really, 'Apprentice Lovegood'? You are rather intimidating."
"You think so?"
She's probably already forgotten that rude wizard, Hermione thought, shaking her head. "I do, and from what you've told me, Master Snape is hell on his trainees', er, friends."
"That's true. Severus-"
Severus? Hermione thought, surprised.
"-doesn't like it when we waste our time, especially on 'the undeserving'. I think his standards are a bit high, but Rolf apparently meets them."
"If that's true, why did you want my approval?"
"Because you're my friend."
Luna's matter-of-factness made Hermione smile.
6. "You're going?" Hermione asked, peering up at Luna Lovegood.
Luna nodded. "It's the monthly meeting of The Thaumatobiological Society. Daddy is really looking forward to the talk on feral Fwoopers. Apparently, a pair escaped captivity in Lagos about a decade ago, and now there's a thriving colony. The speaker's an old friend of his. He's been studying them for the last three years. You could come, too. I'm meeting Daddy at the Leaky Cauldron for dinner beforehand, and you're not meant to work on these when there's no one else here."
Hermione grimaced. "I can't. I'm supposed to go to the Burrow for dinner to discuss wedding arrangements with Molly."
"I thought your parents had hired that Muggle castle?"
"They did, but if Molly had her way we'd have two services. Just don't ask."
"And Ronald? What does he want?"
"I have no idea. He conveniently seems to have his mouth full every time he's asked a question. I'm still trying to work out whether that's because Molly plans it that way or because he does."
Luna smiled beatifically. "Probably both. Don't stay too long."
"I won't. I promise. I'll just finish filling in the R.A.S.I.53 for this," Hermione promised, picking up a small cube. To the right of her desk was a crate of other miscellaneous items. To the left was a similar crate with items which she had already deemed safe, and a smaller, heavily warded chest of those which were no longer Rare And Suspicious Items, but Proven Dark Artefacts. "No tests. Just the preliminary descriptions."
"Be careful. Wrackspurts tend to come out in the twilight. If you were hit by a Putrefying Curse, then we would never get the stains out of the chair, and Ronald would be upset."
7. "Luna, you're crazy."
The new owner of the large house on the hill just smiled as she opened the door for Hermione Granger. Piles of loose paper and dust bunnies gently drifted in the breeze, and it took all Hermione's self-control not to ask if there were Puffskeins hiding in the wainscoting. A slight sour smell from the nearby river wafted past, but the house itself was light and airy, quite different from the industrial town huddling at the bottom of the slope and stretching out to the north as far as one could see.
"It is rather large, Hermione, but just think. We'll be able to fit in all the children, and their pets, and hopefully there will be some healing at last." Luna Lovegood's voice was quietly sad, her normally buoyant state still to recover properly from the losses of the war. "There's fourteen orphans, including the three whose parents are at St Mungo's; and several people have offered to come and teach. Andromeda Tonks wants to help and bring Teddy, and I think it will do her good." She looked around the reception hall and grimaced. "But we've got to get the place cleaned and furnished before then. And I don't want it to look like a hospital."
"And neither do I." Hermione walked over to the largest wall space. A few tattered lists were stuck to its surface, the yellowing tape showing their age. "What was this before?"
Luna shrugged as she ran her hands along the top of the old iron central heating. "Some sort of short-term foster care."
8. "You got a letter too, Luna. How are you feeling about your match? Are you upset or do you feel okay?"
"Actually, Hermione, I'm quite happy with my match. I think we'll be really good together, I don't know why I didn't think of him before. I think I've dreamed about him though. I should remember to pay attention to my dreams more often. Like the one I had last night. I think that might have been a premonition."
"I'm sure I'll regret this, but what did you dream?"
"Well, it was really interesting. I was flying over South Wales and suddenly I was surrounded by a flock of flying Pygmy Puffs. I'm not sure why George doesn't carry them at his store, maybe they're hard to keep control of, they do like to escape their cages. The Pygmy Puffs swarmed around me, it was lovely all pinks, purples, blues, and oranges. Then they broke apart and started creating beautiful designs in the sky. I quite enjoyed their likeness of Professor Snape, though I've never seen him so colorful before. Are you okay, Hermione? You seem to be choking on your toast." Luna handed Hermione a glass of water and patted her on the back until Hermione waved her off. "Well, anyway. I think the dream was trying to tell me something. I'll need to study it more to figure out what."
"That's great Luna! I'm glad that you're happy with your match. I hope things work out well for you. I have to admit, I'm pretty shocked about my match. However, I have to get to my apprenticeship, so I guess I'll have to think more about it on my break. If you see Tracey, will you ask her to leave me a note about whether she still wants to go shopping in Muggle London tomorrow night?"
Hermione swallowed the last of her tea and grabbed her cloak off the hook by the door. She would just have to shove thoughts of Severus Snape to the back of her mind. She didn't have time for them and her apprenticeship didn't leave room for a wandering mind.
9. Where was I? Oh, Lovegood. Damn her.
She was outraged by the bargain I struck with the Ministry. I would not be prosecuted for any of my crimes, as long as I agreed to leave the wizarding world for a period of no less than eight years. I would not have access to a wand or any other means of performing magic during that time.
The Quibbler's headlines screeched (literally) about the injustice for weeks. Lovegood organised protests (nobody came), Owl campaigns (the few owls who were sent to the Ministry's newly-formed Department of Justice made a terrible mess and Lovegood paid fines in the amount of the clean-up cost), and labour strikes (these were successful, as everyone likes an excuse to skive off work for a few days).
However, interest waned, and other causes captured the alleged mind of the Quibbler's editor, and Severus Snape faded into well-earned obscurity.
Until the day that, nearly seven years after my voluntary exile, she appeared inside my front door. Just as if the wards weren't there.
"Hello, Professor," she said, as if it were a lovely spring day, instead of a foul winter's night. I could see the sleet clinging to her cap and dripping from her nose.
"Goodbye, Lovegood. You have until the count of ten to leave before I hex you."
"I brought this for you, so you can catch up on what's happening in wizarding society. That way, when you return, you won't feel like you're out of step." Her pale blue eyes were guileless. She'd make the perfect spokeswoman for some charity, intent on inflicting its goodwill on unwitting individuals seeking only to get on with their lives.
"And anyway, you can't hex me. You don't have your wand."
She proffered a parcel wrapped in brown paper and tied with string.
10. Hermione wasn't sure she had seen correctly, but she thought Luna Lovegood was coming towards the patio. A few steps more confirmed her suspicion as Luna stepped through the doorway. "Luna! I'm so surprised to see you here!"
"Hello, Hermione. It's good to see you, too. Why are you surprised to see me? I knew you would be here."
"I would think you'd never want to come back to Malfoy Manor after... what happened to you here."
Luna replied, "Oh, I came with someone." She turned towards a young man walking towards them. He was plain but friendly-looking with brown hair and blue eyes. Smiling, he said, "Luna, did you see the white peacock on the lawn?" Seeing Hermione, he said, "Oh, hello. I'm sorry, did I interrupt?"
"Hermione Granger, I'd like to introduce my fiancé, Rolf Scamander."
"Rolf, I'm very happy to meet you," Hermione said as she shook his hand. In mock indignation, Hermione continued, "But I can't believe you never gave me a hint! How long has this been going on?"
"Remember the expedition when I went to South America? The one I went on to prove the existence of the bifflebug?" Luna asked. Hermione nodded. "Rolf was on the expedition with me. In fact, his grandfather was leading it."
"He was leading an expedition to find the bifflebug?" Hermione asked, confused.