fic; jaeho
title recall
rating pg-13
summary Yunho just can't wait any longer. AU. Jaeho.
[This one goes out to everyone who helped me out in the past week ^_^ ♥ You know who you are]
recall
You can't wait any longer. Once the rest of the table is drunk and cheery, you pull Jaejoong up with you, out of the dim restaurant, into the cold, wintry air. Your breaths come immediately as white clouds, and you regret not bringing your scarf out with you, at least. Jaejoong is not shivering; his cheeks are flushed red from one too many shots of soju.
"I have to tell you something," you say to him, and hope that your desperate tone is not clear to him.
"What is it?" He blinks, maybe trying to focus his eyes. It's rude, after all, not to look someone in the eyes while a conversation is going on.
The snow, all ready forming puddles around your feet, crunches beneath you, and a car passes by, illuminating you both briefly in its headlights. Then your source of light is again the flickering sign above the entrance doors: "Keun Jib" Big house.
"Well?" he asks, impatient.
"We've been friends for a long time, Jaejoong," you begin uncertainly. Maybe you should have prepared something--but no, you always liked to be a bit spontaneous.
He sees your difficulty in continuing. "Yes, I know," he supplies, the comment not as helpful as he had probably hoped it to be.
"And, what I'm going to say now might not be very new to you--maybe you figured this out a long time ago--but it has to be said."
His eyes widen in either alarm or surprise. You hope it's surprise.
"We've been friends for a very long time," you say again. "And..."
He keeps staring; you must continue.
"And I've wanted to be--well--more than friends, for a very long time."
This entire time you realize that you've been avoiding his gaze, and now you look at him, and you instantly regret it. His face holds for you sadness, understanding, and worst of all, sympathy. He doesn't even have to say what he says next:
"Yunho, I'm sorry," and he truly looks it, but it's not what you want. Not at all. "You know that I don't--I don't like you like that."
You imagine that his words have formed a coil around your throat, and you can't reply.
"I think of you as a friend; I don't want to lose that," he's saying, and his words keep tightening and tightening until finally you crack a smile and say in a rush that I'd kind of figured and it's okay and don't worry about it and, "It's getting cold. Let's go back inside," and you're at the door before you turn back to him. He hasn't moved at all. His expression hasn't changed, at all.
"You coming?"
"Give me a minute." In the flickering light, his skin is too pale, and it reminds you of snow that falls and turns translucent seconds later--the snow beneath your feet.
"Listen, Jaejoong," you say, taking a deep breath. "Let's just forget that this happened. Forget it. Ignore it. I don't want us to change."
"Forget it?" he echoes. "But, Yunho--"
"Just forget it," you say quickly, with more force than you meant, and you turn back to the restaurant, open the doors, and leave Jaejoong in the melting snow.
x
The news reports it that night: a hit and run case. The cause--they say that it was drunk driving, and the insufficient lighting, and the snow that made the car skid out of control when the breaks were slammed. The boy was standing much too close to the edge of the sidewalk.
The result--they say that Jaejoong is suffering from head trauma. He has a broken rib, a fractured wrist, a broken leg. His body will be okay, the doctors say. Don't worry.
But when he gains consciousness, they ask him that question: "What is the last thing you remember?" and he replies, "My friends and I--we were deciding where we wanted to go to dinner."
He doesn't remember that they decided on Keun Jib, that they took two taxis to the restaurant, that Yoochun ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, that he was hit by a drunk driver, that you confessed, that he turned you away.
You wonder if this is better, for you both.
x
Jaejoong's allowed to go back to his and Changmin's apartment after a few weeks, on the condition that he 'doesn't try to move very much,' and on the days that Changmin has to go to university, you come to keep Jaejoong company. He smiles at you the way he did before--when you say something wrong, when your attention span makes you burn the toast.
You resolve that this is better for him, but not for you.
x
It is one month after the accident, you and Jaejoong sitting on the couch, shoulders barely touching, watching a movie about love and revenge, that he asks you, "What happened to us, Yunho? On that day?"
He is looking directly at you, but you can't seem to turn your head from the television.
"What do you mean?" you respond, faking ignorance as best as possible.
"I mean, there's something different about us; I can feel it, but I can't remember anything that happened."
"Nothing."
"It wasn't nothing. Your ears are turning red, so you're lying."
You reflexively reach up to cover your ears, but stop when you see Jaejoong's face. Worry, understanding, sympathy. You don't want sympathy.
"Okay," you breathe. "Okay."
"Tell me."
There comes a moment in which you can't seem to begin, unsure about telling him the truth. Finally, you say, "That night, after dinner, I told you that--that I wanted to be more than a friend to you. You know, that I maybe even loved you."
He inhales sharply, but before he can say anything, you continue hastily:
"And you told me that you felt the same way."
end part i
[an] That...was too hard.
comments and concrit are love~
♥
-quix.
rating pg-13
summary Yunho just can't wait any longer. AU. Jaeho.
[This one goes out to everyone who helped me out in the past week ^_^ ♥ You know who you are]
recall
You can't wait any longer. Once the rest of the table is drunk and cheery, you pull Jaejoong up with you, out of the dim restaurant, into the cold, wintry air. Your breaths come immediately as white clouds, and you regret not bringing your scarf out with you, at least. Jaejoong is not shivering; his cheeks are flushed red from one too many shots of soju.
"I have to tell you something," you say to him, and hope that your desperate tone is not clear to him.
"What is it?" He blinks, maybe trying to focus his eyes. It's rude, after all, not to look someone in the eyes while a conversation is going on.
The snow, all ready forming puddles around your feet, crunches beneath you, and a car passes by, illuminating you both briefly in its headlights. Then your source of light is again the flickering sign above the entrance doors: "Keun Jib" Big house.
"Well?" he asks, impatient.
"We've been friends for a long time, Jaejoong," you begin uncertainly. Maybe you should have prepared something--but no, you always liked to be a bit spontaneous.
He sees your difficulty in continuing. "Yes, I know," he supplies, the comment not as helpful as he had probably hoped it to be.
"And, what I'm going to say now might not be very new to you--maybe you figured this out a long time ago--but it has to be said."
His eyes widen in either alarm or surprise. You hope it's surprise.
"We've been friends for a very long time," you say again. "And..."
He keeps staring; you must continue.
"And I've wanted to be--well--more than friends, for a very long time."
This entire time you realize that you've been avoiding his gaze, and now you look at him, and you instantly regret it. His face holds for you sadness, understanding, and worst of all, sympathy. He doesn't even have to say what he says next:
"Yunho, I'm sorry," and he truly looks it, but it's not what you want. Not at all. "You know that I don't--I don't like you like that."
You imagine that his words have formed a coil around your throat, and you can't reply.
"I think of you as a friend; I don't want to lose that," he's saying, and his words keep tightening and tightening until finally you crack a smile and say in a rush that I'd kind of figured and it's okay and don't worry about it and, "It's getting cold. Let's go back inside," and you're at the door before you turn back to him. He hasn't moved at all. His expression hasn't changed, at all.
"You coming?"
"Give me a minute." In the flickering light, his skin is too pale, and it reminds you of snow that falls and turns translucent seconds later--the snow beneath your feet.
"Listen, Jaejoong," you say, taking a deep breath. "Let's just forget that this happened. Forget it. Ignore it. I don't want us to change."
"Forget it?" he echoes. "But, Yunho--"
"Just forget it," you say quickly, with more force than you meant, and you turn back to the restaurant, open the doors, and leave Jaejoong in the melting snow.
x
The news reports it that night: a hit and run case. The cause--they say that it was drunk driving, and the insufficient lighting, and the snow that made the car skid out of control when the breaks were slammed. The boy was standing much too close to the edge of the sidewalk.
The result--they say that Jaejoong is suffering from head trauma. He has a broken rib, a fractured wrist, a broken leg. His body will be okay, the doctors say. Don't worry.
But when he gains consciousness, they ask him that question: "What is the last thing you remember?" and he replies, "My friends and I--we were deciding where we wanted to go to dinner."
He doesn't remember that they decided on Keun Jib, that they took two taxis to the restaurant, that Yoochun ordered the most expensive thing on the menu, that he was hit by a drunk driver, that you confessed, that he turned you away.
You wonder if this is better, for you both.
x
Jaejoong's allowed to go back to his and Changmin's apartment after a few weeks, on the condition that he 'doesn't try to move very much,' and on the days that Changmin has to go to university, you come to keep Jaejoong company. He smiles at you the way he did before--when you say something wrong, when your attention span makes you burn the toast.
You resolve that this is better for him, but not for you.
x
It is one month after the accident, you and Jaejoong sitting on the couch, shoulders barely touching, watching a movie about love and revenge, that he asks you, "What happened to us, Yunho? On that day?"
He is looking directly at you, but you can't seem to turn your head from the television.
"What do you mean?" you respond, faking ignorance as best as possible.
"I mean, there's something different about us; I can feel it, but I can't remember anything that happened."
"Nothing."
"It wasn't nothing. Your ears are turning red, so you're lying."
You reflexively reach up to cover your ears, but stop when you see Jaejoong's face. Worry, understanding, sympathy. You don't want sympathy.
"Okay," you breathe. "Okay."
"Tell me."
There comes a moment in which you can't seem to begin, unsure about telling him the truth. Finally, you say, "That night, after dinner, I told you that--that I wanted to be more than a friend to you. You know, that I maybe even loved you."
He inhales sharply, but before he can say anything, you continue hastily:
"And you told me that you felt the same way."
end part i
[an] That...was too hard.
comments and concrit are love~
♥
-quix.