Thor, "The Writing on the Wall" Loki/Darcy, part 20 of "Mischief and Tasers"
Fandom: Thor (movie-verse)
Title: The Writing on the Wall
Author: Paynesgrey
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Loki, Darcy, Loki/Darcy, mention of Jane Foster, Thor and OCs
Word Count: 2,226
Spoilers/Warnings: post-Thor movie, some bad language, some violence, implied sexual situations, and implied non-con
Notes: Written for the "#019 - The confession" prompt for 100_fairytales. Part 20 of my Mischief and Tasers Loki/Darcy serialization. The previous part is here. The first part is here.
Other URLS: AO3 | FFnet
Summary: Darcy admits her feelings for Loki but asks him to leave.
Mischief and Tasers
Chapter Twenty: The Writing on the Wall
It was never supposed to happen, not like this. It was nonsensical, reckless, and most of all - well, it was beyond stupid.
Darcy knew that, but such feelings were hard to get rid of, and then she didn't know if she wanted to get rid of them at all. Being free from these feelings was ideal, but the more she thought about it and tried to make herself see reason, the emptier she felt - and the more she wanted to eat tons of chocolate and fade away into oblivion.
So none of that was an option. The only option was to admit defeat and start looking for a straitjacket on Ebay.
She couldn’t be more upset with herself either. How can anyone sane fall in love with their stalker? Of course, Darcy hadn’t been sure it was love in the beginning, and maybe she wasn’t so sure now, but it was definitely loyalty and lust and probably all other dangerous emotions that no Trickster or self-proclaimed villain deserved. She’d be on his front lines too, a token that he could use against Jane, S.H.I.E.L.D, and Thor.
Darcy hated to admit this, but her feelings for Loki were strong. Forget feelings for Tom Hill; that craziness was long out of her head. There was only Loki, the Loki she really knew who watched bad movies with her, snarked and traded jabs with her, took her on motorcycle rides, and came to her rescue against rapists. And it sucked, and she wanted to punch herself in the head repeatedly for ever having such emotions.
But it was what it was, and the worst part was that the moment he found out about her feelings, she knew he couldn’t return them. Oh no, not someone like him: a god, a controlling bastard, and someone who would just use her as a means to an end.
It was sad really, and the ice cream she had treated herself to couldn’t make her feel better. Rocky Road had always made her feel better too.
She left the ice cream parlor a couple of blocks by her apartment and headed home. She hoped Loki wasn’t there. She didn’t want to see his face. Not at all. He had almost killed someone last night, and thankfully the next morning Jane had allowed her a day off from work after the trauma of Heath’s accident. Ice cream called to her as she sat alone in her apartment, grateful Loki was out doing his nefarious business away from her once again.
He will come back, she thought, frowning further. She almost wanted to skip going home and see if she could convince Jane to let her sleep on top of the Physics building. Darcy knew that wasn’t smart, and S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn’t agree to it. It was just more reason for Loki to come back, mind-control her again and then have her sabotage all of Jane’s work.
She couldn’t risk it, so Darcy begrudgingly went home.
A wave of relief washed over here when Loki wasn’t waiting for her on the couch, reading one of his dusty books. He could be in his inter-dimensional hideout for all she knew, but she wasn’t going to brave looking for him. Instead, she slipped into her frog-printed pajamas, picked up her copy of Breaking Dawn and began re-reading it, hoping the book would depress her more than her own life.
Soon, her eyes felt heavy and she decided to go to bed, relieved that she was able to spend a whole day in semi-sanity without Loki around. Though, she hated that the majority of the day was spent moping and thinking about all her feelings toward him, which led to moments of introspective fantasy scenarios where Darcy would betray Jane and Thor.
This was bad, she thought, turning off the light on her nightstand and staring at the wall to her left. She knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, and maybe that wasn’t so bad. Darcy had a feeling her dreams would be worse than any fantasies she’d thought about that day.
In all her tumbled musings, Darcy came to one conclusion. She had to ask Loki to leave her alone. For good. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, and he might just laugh in her face at her audacity. She couldn’t demand it - no, not from someone like Loki. He had already made his ownership of her clear, and she still owed him that elusive favor for saving that boy’s life. (And she hoped to any god that listened that when he claimed his favor from her, he wouldn’t make her betray Jane and Thor.)
She could only try to appeal to him, out of desperation, and though she hated the thought of begging Loki for anything, Darcy needed him out of her life. It was almost as if the fate of the world depended upon it.
So she had to ask him honestly. She knew that Loki appreciated honesty, so she had to be straight with him.
She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of Loki agreeing and leaving once and for all. Damn it, she knew it was her heart reacting. It really would be lonely without Loki around. She’d gotten used to him, and oddly enough, he made Darcy feel wanted. Still, it was a fucked up relationship, and it was only going to get more dangerous if it ever progressed.
Darcy didn’t want to give herself hope either. After grueling months about hearing Jane go on about Thor and the things she’d planned when he returned, Darcy couldn’t help feel envy. Thor was not Loki, obviously, but what kind of devotion would an Asgardian give a woman?
She shook her head and buried her face into her pillow. No. She couldn’t want Loki like that. He’d used her, manipulated her, and more importantly, he probably didn’t give a shit about her emotionally. She was his pet and nothing more. Claiming ownership on a woman was a lot worse than honest devotion.
No. Loki had to go, and Darcy had to sever her feelings toward him. In any way she could.
.xxxxx.
When she woke up the next morning, surprisingly enough, scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese were waiting for her in the kitchen. There was an aroma of bacon, coffee, and her eggs in the atmosphere, and her mouth watered at the sight of the eggs. On the other side of her kitchen counter, Loki sipped coffee from her Cheshire Cat mug.
It was adorable, which only made Darcy feel more conflicted.
“Well,” he bristled. “You could look a little more excited. I was looking forward to your cheerful face. Instead, I get horror and dismay. You should have told me you didn’t like eggs.”
“Of course I like eggs,” Darcy said shortly. “I...I just didn’t expect this. Why are you being so nice?”
Loki arched an eyebrow, and Darcy walked past the coffee and food he made her. She pulled a banana from its bunch and began peeling it.
“You have made me breakfast so many times before, I was merely returning the favor. I do not like to be in debt to anyone,” he said simply, and Darcy immediately shook her head.
“Dude, you are so not in debt to me, really,” she said, walking past him and returning to her bedroom. “I have to get to work. I missed yesterday already.”
When she slammed her door shut, she thought she was in the clear. With Loki, such things were not so simple. Her distress was as obvious as a tornado, and he was waiting for her within her bedroom.
“You’re troubled. Is this about that worthless mortal you made me spare?” Loki pried.
Darcy scoffed. “Among everything else,” she said with annoyance. She started pawing through her clothes, picking out the drabbest thing she owned to wear. She didn’t want to attract any attention today, not like the S.H.I.E.L.D men paid attention to her anyway. Still, the clothes reflected her mood.
“Ah, I see. This is a moody mortal period then? I do have other engagements...places to be,” he said, but she could still feel him staring at her. Was he trying to get some sort of reaction out of her? What was his game? Darcy didn’t want to know, but she never expected her depression to unnerve him as it was now.
“Whatever, it’s not like I understand why you’re here anyway, so just let me get dressed,” she said, and while turning her back, she peeled away her pajamas in front of him and began undressing as if he wasn’t even there. She always hated that he intruded on her privacy, and he didn’t seem to react, even to being called a pervert, which she had done to him in the past. However, Darcy didn’t care anymore. He clearly had no manners in that area, and he was beyond learning them now. Did they keep all their doors open for people to peep in Asgard too?
Expecting him to say something else to annoy her, Darcy turned to him and met his eyes. His expression showed only extreme curiosity, studying every one of her facial expressions and movements. Darcy bit her lip, feeling that this was the best time for her to confront him about her problem.
“Do you want to know what’s wrong with me?” she asked, her tone sounding angrier than intended.
His curiosity didn’t waver. In fact, he almost sounded amused. “Please, enlighten me.”
Darcy’s voice was unexpectedly shaky, and she inhaled a deep breath before saying, “I want you to go.”
Silence felt so heavy between them Darcy expected cartoon anvils to fall from the sky on her head.
“I will go then. Out of your bedroom,” Loki said, preparing to leave, but she could tell in his eyes he knew that there was something.
“No, I mean, I want you out of my apartment. For good. I know it’s too much to ask, and you probably won’t do it anyway because you think you own me. And I owe you a favor already, I know, but I need this... more than anything. It’s scaring me that you’re here, and I want you to go,” Darcy said. “I won’t be able to say anything to Jane anyway, right? Because of the spell. Well, I won’t. They won’t even know you were here, and I won’t be the one to tell them either.” She paused, and she saw intense anger and surprise flicker across his face. He probably would have charged for her if it hadn’t been for the tears.
Damn, she felt weak. And like a dope. She wasn’t supposed to cry.
“You fear for your life,” he said, his tone as cold as ice. The air in her room suddenly felt chillier too. Was it him? Darcy shivered.
“Yes, and...” she stammered, her words breaking from her as he confidence waned in his intimidating presence.
“And?” he asked.
She mustered all her remaining strength and moved forward, looking up into his eyes. Darcy lifted a shaky arm, and the moment her hand touched his cool skin, she felt her heart go warm as the rest of her nerves screamed at the touch. Loki was stunned by her gesture, almost frozen in place as she reached up and pressed her lips against his.
“I fear for my sanity and my heart, okay? God, it sounds so corny,” she said, drawing away and leaving Loki bewildered by her kiss. She regained her composure and met his gaze sternly. “Please go.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Loki said.
“Omigawd, really? JUST FREAKING GO, ALRIGHT? I don’t know what you really want from me, and you will never give me what I want from you, so just save us both the trouble of the world crumbling beneath our feet and GO,” Darcy turned away from him, retreating to her bathroom. She half-expected him to grab her arm and hold her back, and she had a whole bag of insults and rantings she’d lay on him if he did, but when she felt no weight on her elbow, she slammed the bathroom door and curled down onto the floor. The tears fell profusely, but she tried to retain her dignity and held back the sobs.
She could feel his presence still in her bedroom, and she banged her head on the door once, calling herself all those names that she’d meant for Loki.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Love-sick moron.
Just die, already! The world would be better without you.
“I’m a fool,” she whispered in a shaky breath. “Because I stupidly fell in love with you.”
Darcy didn’t know how good his hearing was and if he heard her behind that door, but after several minutes, she composed herself and wiped away remaining tears. Cautiously, she poked her head out of the bathroom door, scared that he was still there.
Empty relief befell her when it was clear that he was gone.
Part Twenty-One
Title: The Writing on the Wall
Author: Paynesgrey
Rating: PG-13
Characters/Pairings: Loki, Darcy, Loki/Darcy, mention of Jane Foster, Thor and OCs
Word Count: 2,226
Spoilers/Warnings: post-Thor movie, some bad language, some violence, implied sexual situations, and implied non-con
Notes: Written for the "#019 - The confession" prompt for 100_fairytales. Part 20 of my Mischief and Tasers Loki/Darcy serialization. The previous part is here. The first part is here.
Other URLS: AO3 | FFnet
Summary: Darcy admits her feelings for Loki but asks him to leave.
Mischief and Tasers
Chapter Twenty: The Writing on the Wall
It was never supposed to happen, not like this. It was nonsensical, reckless, and most of all - well, it was beyond stupid.
Darcy knew that, but such feelings were hard to get rid of, and then she didn't know if she wanted to get rid of them at all. Being free from these feelings was ideal, but the more she thought about it and tried to make herself see reason, the emptier she felt - and the more she wanted to eat tons of chocolate and fade away into oblivion.
So none of that was an option. The only option was to admit defeat and start looking for a straitjacket on Ebay.
She couldn’t be more upset with herself either. How can anyone sane fall in love with their stalker? Of course, Darcy hadn’t been sure it was love in the beginning, and maybe she wasn’t so sure now, but it was definitely loyalty and lust and probably all other dangerous emotions that no Trickster or self-proclaimed villain deserved. She’d be on his front lines too, a token that he could use against Jane, S.H.I.E.L.D, and Thor.
Darcy hated to admit this, but her feelings for Loki were strong. Forget feelings for Tom Hill; that craziness was long out of her head. There was only Loki, the Loki she really knew who watched bad movies with her, snarked and traded jabs with her, took her on motorcycle rides, and came to her rescue against rapists. And it sucked, and she wanted to punch herself in the head repeatedly for ever having such emotions.
But it was what it was, and the worst part was that the moment he found out about her feelings, she knew he couldn’t return them. Oh no, not someone like him: a god, a controlling bastard, and someone who would just use her as a means to an end.
It was sad really, and the ice cream she had treated herself to couldn’t make her feel better. Rocky Road had always made her feel better too.
She left the ice cream parlor a couple of blocks by her apartment and headed home. She hoped Loki wasn’t there. She didn’t want to see his face. Not at all. He had almost killed someone last night, and thankfully the next morning Jane had allowed her a day off from work after the trauma of Heath’s accident. Ice cream called to her as she sat alone in her apartment, grateful Loki was out doing his nefarious business away from her once again.
He will come back, she thought, frowning further. She almost wanted to skip going home and see if she could convince Jane to let her sleep on top of the Physics building. Darcy knew that wasn’t smart, and S.H.I.E.L.D wouldn’t agree to it. It was just more reason for Loki to come back, mind-control her again and then have her sabotage all of Jane’s work.
She couldn’t risk it, so Darcy begrudgingly went home.
A wave of relief washed over here when Loki wasn’t waiting for her on the couch, reading one of his dusty books. He could be in his inter-dimensional hideout for all she knew, but she wasn’t going to brave looking for him. Instead, she slipped into her frog-printed pajamas, picked up her copy of Breaking Dawn and began re-reading it, hoping the book would depress her more than her own life.
Soon, her eyes felt heavy and she decided to go to bed, relieved that she was able to spend a whole day in semi-sanity without Loki around. Though, she hated that the majority of the day was spent moping and thinking about all her feelings toward him, which led to moments of introspective fantasy scenarios where Darcy would betray Jane and Thor.
This was bad, she thought, turning off the light on her nightstand and staring at the wall to her left. She knew she wasn’t going to get any sleep tonight, and maybe that wasn’t so bad. Darcy had a feeling her dreams would be worse than any fantasies she’d thought about that day.
In all her tumbled musings, Darcy came to one conclusion. She had to ask Loki to leave her alone. For good. She knew it wouldn’t be easy, and he might just laugh in her face at her audacity. She couldn’t demand it - no, not from someone like Loki. He had already made his ownership of her clear, and she still owed him that elusive favor for saving that boy’s life. (And she hoped to any god that listened that when he claimed his favor from her, he wouldn’t make her betray Jane and Thor.)
She could only try to appeal to him, out of desperation, and though she hated the thought of begging Loki for anything, Darcy needed him out of her life. It was almost as if the fate of the world depended upon it.
So she had to ask him honestly. She knew that Loki appreciated honesty, so she had to be straight with him.
She felt a sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of Loki agreeing and leaving once and for all. Damn it, she knew it was her heart reacting. It really would be lonely without Loki around. She’d gotten used to him, and oddly enough, he made Darcy feel wanted. Still, it was a fucked up relationship, and it was only going to get more dangerous if it ever progressed.
Darcy didn’t want to give herself hope either. After grueling months about hearing Jane go on about Thor and the things she’d planned when he returned, Darcy couldn’t help feel envy. Thor was not Loki, obviously, but what kind of devotion would an Asgardian give a woman?
She shook her head and buried her face into her pillow. No. She couldn’t want Loki like that. He’d used her, manipulated her, and more importantly, he probably didn’t give a shit about her emotionally. She was his pet and nothing more. Claiming ownership on a woman was a lot worse than honest devotion.
No. Loki had to go, and Darcy had to sever her feelings toward him. In any way she could.
.xxxxx.
When she woke up the next morning, surprisingly enough, scrambled eggs with cheddar cheese were waiting for her in the kitchen. There was an aroma of bacon, coffee, and her eggs in the atmosphere, and her mouth watered at the sight of the eggs. On the other side of her kitchen counter, Loki sipped coffee from her Cheshire Cat mug.
It was adorable, which only made Darcy feel more conflicted.
“Well,” he bristled. “You could look a little more excited. I was looking forward to your cheerful face. Instead, I get horror and dismay. You should have told me you didn’t like eggs.”
“Of course I like eggs,” Darcy said shortly. “I...I just didn’t expect this. Why are you being so nice?”
Loki arched an eyebrow, and Darcy walked past the coffee and food he made her. She pulled a banana from its bunch and began peeling it.
“You have made me breakfast so many times before, I was merely returning the favor. I do not like to be in debt to anyone,” he said simply, and Darcy immediately shook her head.
“Dude, you are so not in debt to me, really,” she said, walking past him and returning to her bedroom. “I have to get to work. I missed yesterday already.”
When she slammed her door shut, she thought she was in the clear. With Loki, such things were not so simple. Her distress was as obvious as a tornado, and he was waiting for her within her bedroom.
“You’re troubled. Is this about that worthless mortal you made me spare?” Loki pried.
Darcy scoffed. “Among everything else,” she said with annoyance. She started pawing through her clothes, picking out the drabbest thing she owned to wear. She didn’t want to attract any attention today, not like the S.H.I.E.L.D men paid attention to her anyway. Still, the clothes reflected her mood.
“Ah, I see. This is a moody mortal period then? I do have other engagements...places to be,” he said, but she could still feel him staring at her. Was he trying to get some sort of reaction out of her? What was his game? Darcy didn’t want to know, but she never expected her depression to unnerve him as it was now.
“Whatever, it’s not like I understand why you’re here anyway, so just let me get dressed,” she said, and while turning her back, she peeled away her pajamas in front of him and began undressing as if he wasn’t even there. She always hated that he intruded on her privacy, and he didn’t seem to react, even to being called a pervert, which she had done to him in the past. However, Darcy didn’t care anymore. He clearly had no manners in that area, and he was beyond learning them now. Did they keep all their doors open for people to peep in Asgard too?
Expecting him to say something else to annoy her, Darcy turned to him and met his eyes. His expression showed only extreme curiosity, studying every one of her facial expressions and movements. Darcy bit her lip, feeling that this was the best time for her to confront him about her problem.
“Do you want to know what’s wrong with me?” she asked, her tone sounding angrier than intended.
His curiosity didn’t waver. In fact, he almost sounded amused. “Please, enlighten me.”
Darcy’s voice was unexpectedly shaky, and she inhaled a deep breath before saying, “I want you to go.”
Silence felt so heavy between them Darcy expected cartoon anvils to fall from the sky on her head.
“I will go then. Out of your bedroom,” Loki said, preparing to leave, but she could tell in his eyes he knew that there was something.
“No, I mean, I want you out of my apartment. For good. I know it’s too much to ask, and you probably won’t do it anyway because you think you own me. And I owe you a favor already, I know, but I need this... more than anything. It’s scaring me that you’re here, and I want you to go,” Darcy said. “I won’t be able to say anything to Jane anyway, right? Because of the spell. Well, I won’t. They won’t even know you were here, and I won’t be the one to tell them either.” She paused, and she saw intense anger and surprise flicker across his face. He probably would have charged for her if it hadn’t been for the tears.
Damn, she felt weak. And like a dope. She wasn’t supposed to cry.
“You fear for your life,” he said, his tone as cold as ice. The air in her room suddenly felt chillier too. Was it him? Darcy shivered.
“Yes, and...” she stammered, her words breaking from her as he confidence waned in his intimidating presence.
“And?” he asked.
She mustered all her remaining strength and moved forward, looking up into his eyes. Darcy lifted a shaky arm, and the moment her hand touched his cool skin, she felt her heart go warm as the rest of her nerves screamed at the touch. Loki was stunned by her gesture, almost frozen in place as she reached up and pressed her lips against his.
“I fear for my sanity and my heart, okay? God, it sounds so corny,” she said, drawing away and leaving Loki bewildered by her kiss. She regained her composure and met his gaze sternly. “Please go.”
“I’m afraid I don’t understand,” Loki said.
“Omigawd, really? JUST FREAKING GO, ALRIGHT? I don’t know what you really want from me, and you will never give me what I want from you, so just save us both the trouble of the world crumbling beneath our feet and GO,” Darcy turned away from him, retreating to her bathroom. She half-expected him to grab her arm and hold her back, and she had a whole bag of insults and rantings she’d lay on him if he did, but when she felt no weight on her elbow, she slammed the bathroom door and curled down onto the floor. The tears fell profusely, but she tried to retain her dignity and held back the sobs.
She could feel his presence still in her bedroom, and she banged her head on the door once, calling herself all those names that she’d meant for Loki.
Stupid.
Idiot.
Love-sick moron.
Just die, already! The world would be better without you.
“I’m a fool,” she whispered in a shaky breath. “Because I stupidly fell in love with you.”
Darcy didn’t know how good his hearing was and if he heard her behind that door, but after several minutes, she composed herself and wiped away remaining tears. Cautiously, she poked her head out of the bathroom door, scared that he was still there.
Empty relief befell her when it was clear that he was gone.
Part Twenty-One