[repost] Inuyasha, "Birds and Bees" Inuyasha/Kikyou, rated pg
Fandom: Inuyasha
Title: Birds and Bees
Author: Paynesgre
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Characters: Rin, Jaken, Sesshoumaru
Notes: Originally posted on May 1, 2005.
Summary: Jaken was NO babysitter! Yet, when Rin asks a difficult question of him, he doesn't know how to react. Where was THAT in the job description? Oneshot.
Links: Media Miner | FFnet | AO3
Resting against a smooth rock, Jaken relaxed, hoping the afternoon would be a quiet one, and he dreaded Rin's usual never-ending stream of useless questions.
He knew his quiet afternoon was moot when he saw the excited little creature run up to him with a toothy grin.
“Jaken-sama!” She yelled trying to get his attention as he quickly avoided her gaze.
“What is it?”
She inhaled a deep breath. Jaken winced knowing her chatter would be long winded as usual. “Where do babies come from? I mean, I know they come from a mommy's belly because I've seen them in the village, but how do they get there? I mean, how do they get inside? Is it something she eats? I THINK her mouth would be too small to fit a whole baby in there. But it must grow from small to big in her belly, so how does the small baby get in there in the first place so it can grow? And where does it go when the baby comes out?”
“SILENCE, CHILD!” Jaken screamed shutting Rin up and then turning away. Out of all the questions of the world, she had to ask that one. He had to avoid it as soon as possible. “I have no time to answer such a silly question for you, lowly human! I am my Lord's trusted servant, not a babysitter or teacher!”
Rin's vibrant smile fell into a pout. Her eyes began to moisten. “But, Jaken-sama, you don't look busy. You're just lying here. You surely have time to tell me. You're so very smart, so I'm sure you would know.”
Jaken beamed at the compliment, but then his face changed quickly to annoyance. She was obviously buttering him up so she could get an answer from him. Well, he wasn't going to fall for it!
“Yes, I am very smart, but Lord Sesshoumaru is smarter. Ask him where babies come from,” Jaken said, feeling some weight lift off his shoulders. He hated to unload the question onto his master, but it was Lord Sesshoumaru who wanted to keep the child in the first place. It should be his responsibility to educate her.
“But he's not here and always busy and you're here and I know you know and I wanna know now!” she whined. He saw her pouting lip again.
He sighed in defeat. “Well…you see…” he glanced over at her expectant brown eyes and felt weak, not just at her intense concentration but at the knowledge that Lord Sesshoumaru might kill him or seriously injury him if he didn't indulge in the young girl's every whim. He suppressed a shudder as he remembered the cold steel of his master's blade slicing into him. No, he certainly didn't want that again.
So he supposed he could tell Rin something just to get her off his back.
“Well…there's a mommy toad youkai and a daddy toad youkai…” He sounded stupid for saying it, but he had to say it for Rin to understand. She unexpectedly giggled at him.
“No, silly, not where toad babies come from, where to human babies come from?” Rin continued to giggle.
Jaken groaned with nausea. There's NO WAY he was going to explain those disgusting mating human rituals to Rin. He shook his head. “I don't know!”
Rin started to cry. “Yes you do! You're so smart, Jaken-sama! Please tell me!”
Amongst all her caterwauling, Jaken lost his composure and yelled, “Stop this behavior at once! I'm not going to tell you about how those disgusting dirty humans mate …”
Rin looked at him with saucer-sized eyes. Her mouth curled into a curious “O” as some sacred knowledge was just handed to her.
Jaken slapped himself in the forehead for the slip up and mumbled some curse words. Rin looked at him expectantly. He feared the next words from her mouth.
“Jaken-sama, what does “mate” mean?”
Rin continued to wait patiently for his explanation, but then Jaken fell over into a slight coma on the ground. Suddenly, another returning member of their team distracted her.
“Sesshoumaru-sama! Welcome back!” She bubbled. Sesshoumaru looked down at her beaming face with his normal impassive expression. Seeing that he was not going to respond, Rin continued to talk.
“Jaken-sama and I are talking about babies. He was going to tell me about where babies come from, but then you showed up. I'm so glad you're back!” And as she rambled on about how glad she was to see him and what kind of flowers she picked, her words cruised onto a touchy tangent. “Sesshoumaru-sama, you are so smart! Do you know where babies come from? What does “mate” mean? Jaken-sama said you are smarter than him that you would know! What does it mean?”
Adoring eyes peered into him. Sesshoumaru felt frozen in his place. His face did not waver, but he turned his head to Jaken, who was standing up from the ground to bow to him. Then, Jaken began to tremble under his lord's gaze.
“Jaken…” Sesshoumaru said finally. Jaken nodded and then chirped out an affirmation. “Please see to Rin. I will be back later. I sense some danger again.”
Then he flew off quickly. Jaken felt the dread knot up in his stomach.
He turned around, and his eyes met Rin's expectant gaze.
Great. Now he had no choice but to tell the child everything he could until she was satisfied. In light of recent events, his lord's cold piercing blade was looking rather attractive to him.
In another part of the forest not far from Rin and Jaken, Sesshoumaru halted and descended to the ground. He stood in the middle of the forest alone sensing if anyone was around. When the coast was clear, he replayed the recent events with Rin's questions in his head.
Then, the stoic fearless dog demon let out a deep sigh.
`Phew, that was a close one.'
Title: Birds and Bees
Author: Paynesgre
Rating: G
Genre: Humor
Characters: Rin, Jaken, Sesshoumaru
Notes: Originally posted on May 1, 2005.
Summary: Jaken was NO babysitter! Yet, when Rin asks a difficult question of him, he doesn't know how to react. Where was THAT in the job description? Oneshot.
Links: Media Miner | FFnet | AO3
Resting against a smooth rock, Jaken relaxed, hoping the afternoon would be a quiet one, and he dreaded Rin's usual never-ending stream of useless questions.
He knew his quiet afternoon was moot when he saw the excited little creature run up to him with a toothy grin.
“Jaken-sama!” She yelled trying to get his attention as he quickly avoided her gaze.
“What is it?”
She inhaled a deep breath. Jaken winced knowing her chatter would be long winded as usual. “Where do babies come from? I mean, I know they come from a mommy's belly because I've seen them in the village, but how do they get there? I mean, how do they get inside? Is it something she eats? I THINK her mouth would be too small to fit a whole baby in there. But it must grow from small to big in her belly, so how does the small baby get in there in the first place so it can grow? And where does it go when the baby comes out?”
“SILENCE, CHILD!” Jaken screamed shutting Rin up and then turning away. Out of all the questions of the world, she had to ask that one. He had to avoid it as soon as possible. “I have no time to answer such a silly question for you, lowly human! I am my Lord's trusted servant, not a babysitter or teacher!”
Rin's vibrant smile fell into a pout. Her eyes began to moisten. “But, Jaken-sama, you don't look busy. You're just lying here. You surely have time to tell me. You're so very smart, so I'm sure you would know.”
Jaken beamed at the compliment, but then his face changed quickly to annoyance. She was obviously buttering him up so she could get an answer from him. Well, he wasn't going to fall for it!
“Yes, I am very smart, but Lord Sesshoumaru is smarter. Ask him where babies come from,” Jaken said, feeling some weight lift off his shoulders. He hated to unload the question onto his master, but it was Lord Sesshoumaru who wanted to keep the child in the first place. It should be his responsibility to educate her.
“But he's not here and always busy and you're here and I know you know and I wanna know now!” she whined. He saw her pouting lip again.
He sighed in defeat. “Well…you see…” he glanced over at her expectant brown eyes and felt weak, not just at her intense concentration but at the knowledge that Lord Sesshoumaru might kill him or seriously injury him if he didn't indulge in the young girl's every whim. He suppressed a shudder as he remembered the cold steel of his master's blade slicing into him. No, he certainly didn't want that again.
So he supposed he could tell Rin something just to get her off his back.
“Well…there's a mommy toad youkai and a daddy toad youkai…” He sounded stupid for saying it, but he had to say it for Rin to understand. She unexpectedly giggled at him.
“No, silly, not where toad babies come from, where to human babies come from?” Rin continued to giggle.
Jaken groaned with nausea. There's NO WAY he was going to explain those disgusting mating human rituals to Rin. He shook his head. “I don't know!”
Rin started to cry. “Yes you do! You're so smart, Jaken-sama! Please tell me!”
Amongst all her caterwauling, Jaken lost his composure and yelled, “Stop this behavior at once! I'm not going to tell you about how those disgusting dirty humans mate …”
Rin looked at him with saucer-sized eyes. Her mouth curled into a curious “O” as some sacred knowledge was just handed to her.
Jaken slapped himself in the forehead for the slip up and mumbled some curse words. Rin looked at him expectantly. He feared the next words from her mouth.
“Jaken-sama, what does “mate” mean?”
Rin continued to wait patiently for his explanation, but then Jaken fell over into a slight coma on the ground. Suddenly, another returning member of their team distracted her.
“Sesshoumaru-sama! Welcome back!” She bubbled. Sesshoumaru looked down at her beaming face with his normal impassive expression. Seeing that he was not going to respond, Rin continued to talk.
“Jaken-sama and I are talking about babies. He was going to tell me about where babies come from, but then you showed up. I'm so glad you're back!” And as she rambled on about how glad she was to see him and what kind of flowers she picked, her words cruised onto a touchy tangent. “Sesshoumaru-sama, you are so smart! Do you know where babies come from? What does “mate” mean? Jaken-sama said you are smarter than him that you would know! What does it mean?”
Adoring eyes peered into him. Sesshoumaru felt frozen in his place. His face did not waver, but he turned his head to Jaken, who was standing up from the ground to bow to him. Then, Jaken began to tremble under his lord's gaze.
“Jaken…” Sesshoumaru said finally. Jaken nodded and then chirped out an affirmation. “Please see to Rin. I will be back later. I sense some danger again.”
Then he flew off quickly. Jaken felt the dread knot up in his stomach.
He turned around, and his eyes met Rin's expectant gaze.
Great. Now he had no choice but to tell the child everything he could until she was satisfied. In light of recent events, his lord's cold piercing blade was looking rather attractive to him.
In another part of the forest not far from Rin and Jaken, Sesshoumaru halted and descended to the ground. He stood in the middle of the forest alone sensing if anyone was around. When the coast was clear, he replayed the recent events with Rin's questions in his head.
Then, the stoic fearless dog demon let out a deep sigh.
`Phew, that was a close one.'