Title: Intertwined
Author: Paynesgrey
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Kikyou/Kagome
Genre: Drama/Supernatural
Word Count: 1,275
Universe: Canon, but somewhat revised/divergent
Warnings: slight mature themes
Notes: Written for the "Alternate Pairing" theme at
iy_wiltedrose.
Summary: An infuriating link forms between them; Kikyou dreams what Kagome dreams.
The trouble with sharing a soul is that it should be impossible. Magick makes it possible, but magick sometimes bends nature in ways it should not be bent. It is the darkest magick of the dark that brings Kikyou back from her unrest. The witch takes her sadness, her plight, and the soil and refuse where her ashes lie and molds them into a woman. She only appears as a woman, though. She's nothing more than a doll - a doll with unnerving feelings.
The first feeling she has when she wakes is hate. Hate for Inuyasha, and hate for the girl who has her soul - who has a body fresh and real and all that is right in nature.
Next, Kikyou feels pain, then regret, and finally - pity. She knows the pity is not hers.
--
When she realizes she starts to feel her incarnation's emotions, Kikyou tries to stay away. Killing her at first seems like a selfish desire, even though it feels right at the time. Instead, Kikyou blocks her. She puts up magical barriers, she steals souls from dead girls, and she surrounds herself with bitterness for Naraku. The more she hates and avoids Kagome, the less she feels of her soul reverberating back at her.
The sensation is still there. Kagome's emotions are raw and young, and the dreadful link between them showers Kikyou with feedback regardless.
She holds out for now, but Kikyou knows she'll have to deal with the girl eventually. When she starts to question why she hates Kagome so much, the feelings become numb.
It's futile. To avoid Kagome when she is such an integral part of Naraku's defeat is useless.
Kikyou dares not admit it.
--
The time after the strange girl from the future saves Kikyou from the cave is when the dreams come. They are vague and disjointed, fueled by emotions rather than rationality, but Kikyou sees them and feels them so strongly it becomes unbearable.
They burrow into her soul and when she closes her eyes to rest (not sleep; she doesn't remember how), she sees them. She feels Kagome's thoughts and her love for Inuyasha, which Kikyou believes is robbery. She can't help the jealousy, but Kikyou is tempted. The like-minded emotions toward Inuyasha are too much to resist. Kikyou feels kindred with Kagome in that. They both love the same man, and only Kagome can truly have him. It all seems so unfair, but if Kikyou must become the voyeur to possess just a little of him, she will.
She closes her eyes and gives in. She sees inside Kagome's soul, and she wonders if the girl can also see into hers.
--
When Kagome heals Kikyou's wounds from Naraku her dreams stop being about Inuyasha. Kagome still has them, but Kikyou closes her eyes and has her own images. She sees herself with Kagome, and she wonders if Kagome is experiencing the same. The confusion cannot be hers along, but Kikyou finds her link with Kagome no longer bothersome, but rather normal. She becomes used to it. She expects to feel the things that Kagome feels. She expects the dreams to come. It all becomes a strange side effect to this afterlife that Kikyou lives. Through their link, she starts to empathize with Kagome, and see her for who she is.
Over and over, Kikyou relives the moment when Kagome saves her. She always feels warm and wet, and she finds comfort with Kagome's touch against hers. Imagination is still possible in this body, so Kikyou thinks beyond that. She thinks and feels and Kagome is always at the tip of her Mind's Eye. She reaches and reaches, wants to kiss and embrace her, and draw out her energy more. Even in her weakest moments, Kikyou hungers for her.
She feels Kagome so much inside her that her false body itches, and seems that much more foreign. She wants to break away from this shell and completely become one with her. That part of her soul, that part that still belongs to Kikyou, wants to fly home.
But her mission is not done yet. Soon, Kikyou knows she will pass, and all that remains of her will return to Kagome.
She just has to wait a little while longer.
--
Kikyou begins to dream again. The link becomes so large and engorged, that it becomes possible to have her own dreams unaffected by someone else, and she knows this is because of Kagome. It is within the link that Kikyou discovers Kagome's spiritual powers are blocked, but she can do nothing to release them. She can only hope Kagome will find the strength to do this.
As much as Kikyou has come to know Kagome, she has faith in her. The girl may not see it, she may not even feel it, but Kikyou knows she can.
They are one in the same, after all.
--
She is grateful for Kagome. She never finds the right words or moment to admit it, but it is because of Kagome that Kikyou is able to dream of Inuyasha again, without Kagome interfering, or without the image of Kagome's body in her mind. However, Kikyou does not mind Kagome in her head anymore. She does not recoil at the link, and she embraces the longing. As the girl becomes a woman, Kikyou shares in the experience through the link with her.
Kikyou knows when Kagome fantasizes about Inuyasha. The images become bright and colorful in her head. Kikyou revels in them, silently on the edge of the girl's consciousness, and when she closes her eyes, healing her disintegrating body, it is Kagome's image that gives her strength. Kikyou has something to look forward to; she has seen her life beyond this one, and she knows she will be loved and she will feel as a woman.
Sometimes, as she meditates, Kikyou begins to find Kagome's warmth just as soothing as Inuyasha's.
--
The night Kagome dreams of Kikyou in a lover's embrace, Kikyou can feel the girl's embarrassment through the link, but she is relieved the woman is not ashamed. Kikyou isn't either, though she knows her feelings have come through to Kagome, just as Kagome's have always reached her.
Inside the dream, the two women reconcile, kissing and caressing - leaving no flesh untouched; they feed off each other's power, and their energy comes together, closer and fuller than what it's supposed to be. Kikyou knows their souls should have never split. Magick has kept them a part long enough, once planting seeds of hatred and jealousy, and now, as Kikyou comes into her final minutes, she realizes the peace they have made. Kagome's body will become her earthly home, and while Kagome will not always remember her as her past life, through knowing Kikyou, she will remember her as a fellow sister, a fellow comrade, and perhaps even as a friend.
It is the kind of peace Kikyou can live with, where both are beyond simple forgiveness. There is nothing really to forgive; their actions fall into the shadows. They are no more than history, a foundation of lives turning within the Wheel and moving on.
--
Before Kikyou dies, she can feel Kagome's tears. Even beyond her moment with Inuyasha, Kagome gives her peace. She stands aside far away, and she grieves. She gives Kikyou this moment with him, and Kikyou is grateful.
More than anything, the tragic priestess is honored to become a single part of Kagome's heart, even though, Kikyou will become a completed piece of Kagome's larger soul in the very end.
THE END