Something Wicked This Way Comes (Death Note, 17/30)

[aishuu]

Something Wicked This Way Comes
~ An Alternate Death Note Fanfiction ~
by: aishuu
Notes: For 30_kisses To start at the beginning, go Here

Comments

[shukuun]

Ooooo~ a cliffhanger, how mean of you. XD;

Misa Misa standing on top of two desks in her without shoes on.
Typo? the "two desks in her" doesn't seem right. ^^;;

I like how you have Misa calling Raito "Yagami" even though he was introduced as "Asahi" XD; Hmm, but is Misa supposed to be calling L Ryuuka and Ryuuzaki?

Ahh~ but anyway, this is really interesting! I can't wait to see how things go! XD

[aishuu]

Fixed, fixed. The sections I rewrite always seem more typo-ridden.

And yes, the forms of address are correct.

[starry096]

*is kowtowing to her computer screen* I love this fic. ♥

Even if he wasn't, it would be like sleeping with a potentially venomous snake. LOL.

Did Misa run across Raito's real name when she was researching L's cover? Or does she have the eyes? Does this scream mark the introduction of a Shinigami? Or did someone in the restaurant experience a totally unexpected heart attack? Is Misa gonna introduce Raito to the Death Note? Or did she just do so? Can you perhaps guess how much I absolutely HATE cliffhangers?

Also: It worked, especially with Misa Misa standing on top of two desks in her without shoes on.

[aishuu]

*laughs* I rewrote that line four times, so I'm glad it came across well.

And you don't really want to answer any of those questions. Will spoil the hanger, no?

[starry096]

;D

*reluctantly concedes* You're making me really look forward to this next chapter, y'know? ;)

[artemisgoddess]

Jealous!L is such fun. I can't wait to see what happens next. And this ending-! KILLING us here! Please, continue soon!

[aishuu]

Working on the next part, slated for a January release. Glad you're enjoying this.

[firedraygon97]

Haha, I was just thinking of rereading the last few chapters of this fic today. XD

Cliffhanger! >__O It's great seeing L undecided about what to feel for Raito. The awkwardness at the beginning of this chapter is lovely, especially since both characters would rather go on in a tense atmosphere than try to talk about it. Great characterization. XD The 'laying it on thick' part reminded me of Raito with Naomi in the anime. That boy certainly knows how to do fake.

Great work with this! Please do write more soon~

[aishuu]

Raito's characterizatiom is challenging in this, but I think he's a bastard at heart. The way he treats women is horrible.

[sailormac]

I love how in this series, everything is pretty much *the same* even though Raito isn't Kira. L sees him as "a venomous snake." Misa is still hitting on him. It's still recognizably *Death Note*, even with the major change . . . and that's the very essence of what an AU *should* be.

And, wow, one hell of a cliffhanger. You definitely know how to keep the readers in suspense. ~_^

[aishuu]

*grins at senpai* I have good mentors, no? And I'm not saying anything to spoil you.