Proceed to Heaven (Narnia, oneshot)

[aishuu]

Proceed to Heaven
by aishuu
Fandom: The Chronicles of Narnia
Rating: Teen
Wordcount: ~6,100
Genre: Gen
Note: I've been working on this for five years (not kidding), so I'm glad I'm finished finally!. This story has always been meant for edenfalling. Thanks to sophiap for her patience on this journey

Comments

[kenzimone]

Oh wow, this is absolutely exquisite! I absolutely love your take on Peter (he's just as noble and gentle as his book!self) and that last line pretty much did me in. It was a really awesome read - thank you for sharing.

[aishuu]

Thank you! I was very much aiming for his bookverse self (noble and gentle both included), so that's good to hear. I'm glad you enjoyed this.

[chrysa]

This is an absolutely gorgeous piece. It's pretty much everything I've ever wanted in a Narnia fic without knowing quite how to describe it.

I love your characterization of Peter. I adore Peter in general, but I think your Peter especially fits into my view of him in canon - serene and wise beyond his years and unable to fit into his teenage self anymore. I think this kind of maturity and wisdom especially conveyed and condensed the point Lewis was trying to make about religion through the Narnia series, and it was just beautiful to read. Peter's love wasn't preachy or condescending, but quiet and simple, and focused on bettering himself rather than judging others.

A bit of concrit, if you aren't adverse (if you are, you can ignore it but it also leads up to another point I want to make...)

The part with Susan was a little awkward because it shifted between Susan and Peter's POVs during the scene. Especially here:
But as long as Peter was unattached, that meant girls would cozy up to Susan, attempting to gain an advantage in their

[aishuu]

Sorry for the late-ish reply - I wanted to spend some time, and... yeah, my schedule is kind of hectic.

This is the kind of Narnia I think book fans will gravitate toward - the first movie was good in its own way, but it missed Peter's quiet strength (the second movie made me twitch and the third movie Did Not Happen). So that's why I wrote it, and I'm glad you got that out of his characterization since that's what I was going for.

I'm always up for concrit from you - I'll take a look when I do the edits prior to putting it on ff.net. I thought of dividing the scene with Susan, but it didn't quite work because of the timeframe and because I wanted both of their POV in it... I'll poke and see if I can fix it better.

I think there should always be hope for Susan, because the Narnia books embodied that for me.

I miss you, too. I need to get my head out of the office more often. *Sigh*

[riah_chan]

This is just beautiful and so very in character and will now be my head-canon. I love that he's not jealous of his younger siblings but trying to live on in his own way. He's just so truly king-like through the entire thing.

[aishuu]

Thank you! I like to think it's him being "magnificent" in an understated way.

[daniela_lynx]

I loved this. It's absolutely Peter, and oh, Susan. Susan pains me greatly. You handled it wonderfully.

[aishuu]

Thank you! I think Susan is inseparable from her siblings, despite how TLB ends. She's such a big part of Peter's worldview.

[daniela_lynx]

I think the same! I'd love to see her vindicated in a fic that's not "The Problem of Susan" by Gaiman. Some fic in which she finds the way back to Narnia in the end :(

[aishuu]

There's a lot of Susan fic out there, but there doesn't seem to be a consensus on what should happen with her in fandom.

[miss_morland]

Oh, this is lovely. I particularly liked Peter's relationship with Edmund and the meeting with Polly (I have such a thing for fics about the Pevensies finding out about the Professor's relationship with Narnia). The conversation between Peter and Jill was another great moment, and the ending brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for this! <3

[aishuu]

Thank you! I always wondered about how the Professor ever fessed up to being in Narnia. It would seem to me it would have to be after Prince Caspian, so that's the timeline I went with. Jill and Peter have no real connection in the story, so it was hard to write that scene... but I couldn't exclude her since all of the others were in it. I'm glad it worked for you.