Angels do fall. [SHINee; JongMinho/JongYu; One-shot]
Angels do fall.
yumeyana
SHINee | jonghyun x minho / jonghyun x onew
pg-13 / drama, angst
Your role is to look after me, Minho yah. To look after us. Between fighting for love and staying in the sidelines, which one is better?
[crossposted at shinee_replay, jongyu, jongminho.]
Author’s Notes: This took a while and a lot of revisions until I was finally satisfied with it. Also, this is my first try at writing for SHINee and although this took a more dramatic turn than I had originally planned, I still hope you’ll like it. :D
Dedication: To skyfever, amenoireis and schmecken, for never getting tired of my fangirling. :D
Disclaimers: None of the SHINee boys are mine, only the plot is.
--------------------------------------------------------
Angels do fall.
It starts with a smile, then with a handshake, and you think it is enough. He introduces himself as Kim Jonghyun; the name sounds familiar, you think-You sang a duet with Li Yin sunbaenim, right? He nods, excited that someone’s heard of him. He looks like he’s going to bounce off the walls any minute now (you almost run for cover; you and your big mouth, you think) when someone puts a hand on Kim Jonghyun’s shoulder, stopping him from exploding like a rocket. You look past the bouncy one, eyes widening a little. He looks young-younger than Jonghyun-and impossibly innocent. Lee Jinki, he says and you shake his outstretched hand (why such American ways, you wonder). But call me Onew, he quickly adds.
You tilt your head to the side, confused. It’s my stage name, he explains, smiling brightly (sunglasses, you think, is a must when you’re with this guy). Onew hyung, Kim Jonghyun calls the older one’s (your mind slowly processes that Onew is older than either of you) attention, looking as if he’s about to say something, but then he bursts into laughter. Both you and Onew stare at him, unable to understand why Jonghyun is laughing his heart out. Jonghyun takes a deep breath-tries to control his laughter (fails)-On you, hyung; get it, he asks in heavily accented English before drowning in laughter once again. He repeats it, sings it with a tune you might’ve heard before and grabs Onew’s hands, spinning the older one around room. It’s like ring-around-the-rosies, only a little messier.
And you laugh.
Jonghyun stops (Onew falls to the ground, tripping over Jonghyun but mostly over his own two feet)-spinning and laughing-and looks at you. Slowly, a big grin spreads across his face and before you could process anything else other than how beautiful his smile is (different from Onew, definitely), he grabs your hands-grabs a dizzy Onew; Jonghyun, please-and sings and twirls round and round.
(we all fall down)
*
Taemin tells you that it’s love at first sight.
You look at him, raising an eyebrow. He’s seen you, he says, the way you look at Jonghyun (during breakfast, interviews-all the time; he rolls his eyes) whenever you think nobody notices. He tells you all these things in a whisper as you go home from school, just after you’ve settled nicely at the back of the car. You sneak a peek at your manager who’s sitting up front with the driver; he’s on the phone-you strain to hear-discussing your schedule with Onew perhaps? You return your attention to Taemin; You’ve been thinking too much, you say even though you know better than to tell him that. He stops sipping his juice (biting the straw again; Key will scold him again later when he sees that) and looks at you-Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. You sigh, looking away; the people speeding by are more interesting, you pretend and you know Taemin does the same.
But are you, the thought crosses your mind.
It’s been months since you’ve first met him and you think, the days have flown by without you noticing the difference of one day from another-is it 20th or 31st; you don’t know. The only thing that you know is that Mondays are when Jonghyun wakes up the earliest; Tuesdays are when he tries to take one of your books (or Taemin’s at times) and tries to actually solve the quadratic equation without running to Onew for help. Wednesdays are when he picks up his guitar and sings on the top of his lungs (Onew gets his piano and joins in); Thursdays are when he helps around the house-preparing Taemin’s lunch, making sure that your uniform is clean and crisp (it irks Key, this weekly surrender of his umma-role to Jonghyun, but he doesn’t say anything; he double-checks everything, though).
Fridays are for ice cream and cakes (he takes away your homework; and both you and Taemin act as if you hate it). Saturdays are for waking up late and waiting for you to wake him up or carry him up on your back. And Sundays are-
Your manager checks up on you-We’ll swing by the dorm and then go right to the studio, okay? Taemin smiles, nodding while happily munching on his jellies (he looks like a child again); your thoughts drift back to Jonghyun and would he be there at home waiting for you or would he be-
Taemin chuckles. You glance sharply at him. What?
He puts another one of his jellies away, the grin on his face widening. You’re thinking about him.
You roll your eyes-You’re eating too much, you say and Taemin rolls over to his side, laughing.
*
You find it difficult not to strangle Key.
Okay, maybe not strangle. But perhaps, skin him alive and feed him to the vultures would be more apt. Taemin laughs at you whenever he hears you grinding your teeth in frustration but you don’t mind him. Controlling yourself from inflicting harm on Key saps the hell out of you already; you can’t waste your energy trying to shut Taemin up.
But-you try not to look at him, them-Key is just always there with Jonghyun-holding Jonghyun’s hand, whispering in his ear, claiming that Jonghyun captured his heart when they first met. Jonghyun just laughs it all off as if it is nothing but for you it isn’t. Fan service or not, it makes the fans think it’s real and you know how fans think. Sooner or later, it will always be Jonghyun and Key and no one will ever see the possibility that it could be Jonghyun and Minho. It just makes you want to shout.
Minho?
His soft voice brings you back to reality and you quickly turn to him, eyes growing wide when you see how close he is. You can see his lips clearly from where you are, how it almost touches your ear. You can feel him breathing and you almost forget-Onew, Taemin, Key and everyone else-and grab him right then and there. His lips would probably be softer than you’ve ever imagined, ever dreamt of. Minho, he calls your attention again and this time you detect the concern in his voice. Are you alright? You spaced out.
You smile a little. I always space out a little, hyung. That’s my role.
He pulls back (you want to pull him back towards you) and looks at you. You spaced out more than the usual spacing out. He sounds pissed off but his face doesn’t betray anything of the sort. And for the record, your role is not to space out. You blink; suddenly, it’s a big deal. You meant it as a joke, you want to say but what’s done is done. You lean closer-Then what is my role, hyung? (Taemin is snickering beside Jonghyun and you try not to put him in your people-to-murder list.) He cocks his head to the side-a little too cute for someone who’s supposed to be handsome-as if taking your silly question into consideration. He pouts, bites his lower lip. You’re about to take it back-Onew is looking at you weirdly-and the cameras are still flashing but before you can pull back, he pulls you closer and you hold your breath.
Your role is to look after me, Minho yah. To look after us.
(Stop killing me mentally, Key tells you as soon as he pulls you aside. You raise an eyebrow-What do you mean? He rolls his eyes; I’m not stupid-and you have an urge to count the number of times people have told you that-Plus, if there’s someone to kill, it’s not me.
In the first place, why would I want to kill you? He stares at you and gives you that look again and it’s your turn to roll your eyes. I’m harmless, he says, looking straight at you. He’s trying to make you understand that he’s not the enemy but you still think he is. Now, if he will stop being so openly affectionate-you cringe mentally-to Jonghyun, then perhaps, you’d consider a truce.
He shakes his head. Whatever, Minho. Just remember what I told you.
You never told me anything, Key.
He shrugs. That’s because you don’t listen well enough.)
*
You catch them together without them noticing. It’s like the song you used to love singing every Christmas-I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night, you almost hum-instead, the lyrics are I saw Jonghyun kissing Onew last night. It takes you by surprise because they’ve never hinted anything to anyone at all. Sure, there are times where they’re too close (and Key looks at you funny; Taemin just sighs) for comfort but it is nothing compared to what Jonghyun and Key do. You’ve never looked into it, never even thought of its possibility (Jonghyun and Onew-what?) and-you stop.
Jinki, someone might walk in on us.
You freeze as if they’ve caught you already (but they haven’t and no, they can’t; you have to remember that from their position near television, your hiding place is a blind spot). Onew pulls him closer, their foreheads touching. Perhaps, we need to tell them, Hyun; we’re a family and- Jonghyun rests his head on Onew’s shoulder, eyes closing-I know. But how do we tell them? The older one chuckles-I bet Taemin already knows. You can hear Jonghyun laughing, worries all gone in an instant. He moves from his place beside Onew to sit on the older one’s lap. We won’t have to tell him, then; Kibum, too, most probably, he adds after a heartbeat (not yours, that’s for sure). Minho, though-
He’ll know, Onew says. He sounds so confident, it makes you wonder why. You’ve always been observant but you miss something once in a while; take for example, this? You want to punch yourself dead, seriously; since when has Key been more observant than you are, you wonder.
Yeah, Jonghyun says. He’s always watching over us. Kinda like an angel, yes?
Onew laughs and kisses Jonghyun again. Yeah. Our own angel.
*
You don’t look his way, don’t even sit beside him when it’s not necessary. Taemin looks at you as if you’re too stupid to even exist; Key rolls his eyes at how immature you are whenever he has a chance. But you can’t look at him directly without feeling your eyes well up with tears. His smile, his laughter breaks your heart when it used to make it skip a beat and dance with joy.
It’s suddenly all too obvious now: the way Jonghyun would laugh at the lamest of Onew’s jokes; the way their eyes would meet over Taemin’s head (how it happens, you’d never know); how they’d hold each other’s hands discreetly. Sometimes, you want to laugh; how could you have missed that when Jonghyun says that your role is to look over him, them?
You pull the blanket over your head and turn your back on the door, thankful that Onew is home with his parents for the night (why, you don’t ask). It doesn’t help that the older one sleeps next to you (you’ve tried trading places with Key but the latter wouldn’t budge-It’s harder if you’re up here; you’ll see Jonghyun hyung every night.) and you know when he sneaks out every night to spend some quality time with Jonghyun. You don’t know who to strangle-Onew or your-
Someone sits on your bed. You almost jump out of bed, bump your head on the top bunk and wake Key up. Shhh. Your eyes widen-Jonghyun hyung? He smiles and (your heart melts, breaks and dies) moves closer, a finger over his lips. Can I sleep beside you tonight, he asks. You fight the urge to say something that would sound very bad and that would make Jonghyun angry; instead, you nod and lift the blanket so that he could crawl in with you. He smiles again, wider this time (you die a little more inside) as he snuggles close to you.
Hyung-
You’ve been avoiding me, Minho.
He puts you in a difficult position and you’re not sure which answer would be appropriate. You opt for asking another question in return-Why do say that?-it’s safer, you think, than answering. He looks up at you, his brown eyes meeting yours in the dark. No one’s watching over me.
You want to say that it’s Onew’s job to do that, not yours; after all, isn’t he the leader and Jonghyun’s (you gulp) boyfriend? But you stay silent, letting Jonghyun continue. Just because-he pauses, unable to phrase his words (sometimes you wonder, does he know?)-Minho, look. You’re our angel. My guardian angel. And angels never leave their principal’s side, right? You raise an eyebrow-Principal? Have you been reading my Artemis Fowl books, hyung?
He pouts-MINHO!
And for the first time in weeks, you smile. He sees it and he chuckles softly, his arms going around you. Then you realize that perhaps, Jonghyun does know. That perhaps, if you met him earlier, you could’ve had the chance to capture his heart. That perhaps, there could’ve been a chance for Jonghyun and Minho. But, you think as you put your own arms around him, it is not what happened. And you can’t let a missed opportunity ruin a friendship with him.
Does he love you?
He stops laughing and you feel a softer smile spread across his face-Yes.
You pull him closer. His happiness, you think, that is what is important. A few tears escape but before you can wipe them away, he does it for you. He’s smiling sadly and there are words in his eyes-words you can understand without him saying. You kiss his forehead and for a moment, you are older than he is-wiser and more experienced in these kinds of things.
Then I promise, hyung. I promise to continue being your angel.
*
(You’re not going to fight for him?
It’s not my fight, Key.
But you love him.
Yes.
Then?
I’m driving a one-way street, Kibum.
Maybe he’ll do a U-turn. You know Jonghyun hyung is fond of breaking the rules.
In our next lifetime, Kibum. In our next lifetime, he’s going to be mine.)
xxx
081013 | 1724 H
2421 words
yumeyana
SHINee | jonghyun x minho / jonghyun x onew
pg-13 / drama, angst
Your role is to look after me, Minho yah. To look after us. Between fighting for love and staying in the sidelines, which one is better?
[crossposted at shinee_replay, jongyu, jongminho.]
Author’s Notes: This took a while and a lot of revisions until I was finally satisfied with it. Also, this is my first try at writing for SHINee and although this took a more dramatic turn than I had originally planned, I still hope you’ll like it. :D
Dedication: To skyfever, amenoireis and schmecken, for never getting tired of my fangirling. :D
Disclaimers: None of the SHINee boys are mine, only the plot is.
--------------------------------------------------------
Angels do fall.
It starts with a smile, then with a handshake, and you think it is enough. He introduces himself as Kim Jonghyun; the name sounds familiar, you think-You sang a duet with Li Yin sunbaenim, right? He nods, excited that someone’s heard of him. He looks like he’s going to bounce off the walls any minute now (you almost run for cover; you and your big mouth, you think) when someone puts a hand on Kim Jonghyun’s shoulder, stopping him from exploding like a rocket. You look past the bouncy one, eyes widening a little. He looks young-younger than Jonghyun-and impossibly innocent. Lee Jinki, he says and you shake his outstretched hand (why such American ways, you wonder). But call me Onew, he quickly adds.
You tilt your head to the side, confused. It’s my stage name, he explains, smiling brightly (sunglasses, you think, is a must when you’re with this guy). Onew hyung, Kim Jonghyun calls the older one’s (your mind slowly processes that Onew is older than either of you) attention, looking as if he’s about to say something, but then he bursts into laughter. Both you and Onew stare at him, unable to understand why Jonghyun is laughing his heart out. Jonghyun takes a deep breath-tries to control his laughter (fails)-On you, hyung; get it, he asks in heavily accented English before drowning in laughter once again. He repeats it, sings it with a tune you might’ve heard before and grabs Onew’s hands, spinning the older one around room. It’s like ring-around-the-rosies, only a little messier.
And you laugh.
Jonghyun stops (Onew falls to the ground, tripping over Jonghyun but mostly over his own two feet)-spinning and laughing-and looks at you. Slowly, a big grin spreads across his face and before you could process anything else other than how beautiful his smile is (different from Onew, definitely), he grabs your hands-grabs a dizzy Onew; Jonghyun, please-and sings and twirls round and round.
(we all fall down)
*
Taemin tells you that it’s love at first sight.
You look at him, raising an eyebrow. He’s seen you, he says, the way you look at Jonghyun (during breakfast, interviews-all the time; he rolls his eyes) whenever you think nobody notices. He tells you all these things in a whisper as you go home from school, just after you’ve settled nicely at the back of the car. You sneak a peek at your manager who’s sitting up front with the driver; he’s on the phone-you strain to hear-discussing your schedule with Onew perhaps? You return your attention to Taemin; You’ve been thinking too much, you say even though you know better than to tell him that. He stops sipping his juice (biting the straw again; Key will scold him again later when he sees that) and looks at you-Don’t treat me like I’m stupid. You sigh, looking away; the people speeding by are more interesting, you pretend and you know Taemin does the same.
But are you, the thought crosses your mind.
It’s been months since you’ve first met him and you think, the days have flown by without you noticing the difference of one day from another-is it 20th or 31st; you don’t know. The only thing that you know is that Mondays are when Jonghyun wakes up the earliest; Tuesdays are when he tries to take one of your books (or Taemin’s at times) and tries to actually solve the quadratic equation without running to Onew for help. Wednesdays are when he picks up his guitar and sings on the top of his lungs (Onew gets his piano and joins in); Thursdays are when he helps around the house-preparing Taemin’s lunch, making sure that your uniform is clean and crisp (it irks Key, this weekly surrender of his umma-role to Jonghyun, but he doesn’t say anything; he double-checks everything, though).
Fridays are for ice cream and cakes (he takes away your homework; and both you and Taemin act as if you hate it). Saturdays are for waking up late and waiting for you to wake him up or carry him up on your back. And Sundays are-
Your manager checks up on you-We’ll swing by the dorm and then go right to the studio, okay? Taemin smiles, nodding while happily munching on his jellies (he looks like a child again); your thoughts drift back to Jonghyun and would he be there at home waiting for you or would he be-
Taemin chuckles. You glance sharply at him. What?
He puts another one of his jellies away, the grin on his face widening. You’re thinking about him.
You roll your eyes-You’re eating too much, you say and Taemin rolls over to his side, laughing.
*
You find it difficult not to strangle Key.
Okay, maybe not strangle. But perhaps, skin him alive and feed him to the vultures would be more apt. Taemin laughs at you whenever he hears you grinding your teeth in frustration but you don’t mind him. Controlling yourself from inflicting harm on Key saps the hell out of you already; you can’t waste your energy trying to shut Taemin up.
But-you try not to look at him, them-Key is just always there with Jonghyun-holding Jonghyun’s hand, whispering in his ear, claiming that Jonghyun captured his heart when they first met. Jonghyun just laughs it all off as if it is nothing but for you it isn’t. Fan service or not, it makes the fans think it’s real and you know how fans think. Sooner or later, it will always be Jonghyun and Key and no one will ever see the possibility that it could be Jonghyun and Minho. It just makes you want to shout.
Minho?
His soft voice brings you back to reality and you quickly turn to him, eyes growing wide when you see how close he is. You can see his lips clearly from where you are, how it almost touches your ear. You can feel him breathing and you almost forget-Onew, Taemin, Key and everyone else-and grab him right then and there. His lips would probably be softer than you’ve ever imagined, ever dreamt of. Minho, he calls your attention again and this time you detect the concern in his voice. Are you alright? You spaced out.
You smile a little. I always space out a little, hyung. That’s my role.
He pulls back (you want to pull him back towards you) and looks at you. You spaced out more than the usual spacing out. He sounds pissed off but his face doesn’t betray anything of the sort. And for the record, your role is not to space out. You blink; suddenly, it’s a big deal. You meant it as a joke, you want to say but what’s done is done. You lean closer-Then what is my role, hyung? (Taemin is snickering beside Jonghyun and you try not to put him in your people-to-murder list.) He cocks his head to the side-a little too cute for someone who’s supposed to be handsome-as if taking your silly question into consideration. He pouts, bites his lower lip. You’re about to take it back-Onew is looking at you weirdly-and the cameras are still flashing but before you can pull back, he pulls you closer and you hold your breath.
Your role is to look after me, Minho yah. To look after us.
(Stop killing me mentally, Key tells you as soon as he pulls you aside. You raise an eyebrow-What do you mean? He rolls his eyes; I’m not stupid-and you have an urge to count the number of times people have told you that-Plus, if there’s someone to kill, it’s not me.
In the first place, why would I want to kill you? He stares at you and gives you that look again and it’s your turn to roll your eyes. I’m harmless, he says, looking straight at you. He’s trying to make you understand that he’s not the enemy but you still think he is. Now, if he will stop being so openly affectionate-you cringe mentally-to Jonghyun, then perhaps, you’d consider a truce.
He shakes his head. Whatever, Minho. Just remember what I told you.
You never told me anything, Key.
He shrugs. That’s because you don’t listen well enough.)
*
You catch them together without them noticing. It’s like the song you used to love singing every Christmas-I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night, you almost hum-instead, the lyrics are I saw Jonghyun kissing Onew last night. It takes you by surprise because they’ve never hinted anything to anyone at all. Sure, there are times where they’re too close (and Key looks at you funny; Taemin just sighs) for comfort but it is nothing compared to what Jonghyun and Key do. You’ve never looked into it, never even thought of its possibility (Jonghyun and Onew-what?) and-you stop.
Jinki, someone might walk in on us.
You freeze as if they’ve caught you already (but they haven’t and no, they can’t; you have to remember that from their position near television, your hiding place is a blind spot). Onew pulls him closer, their foreheads touching. Perhaps, we need to tell them, Hyun; we’re a family and- Jonghyun rests his head on Onew’s shoulder, eyes closing-I know. But how do we tell them? The older one chuckles-I bet Taemin already knows. You can hear Jonghyun laughing, worries all gone in an instant. He moves from his place beside Onew to sit on the older one’s lap. We won’t have to tell him, then; Kibum, too, most probably, he adds after a heartbeat (not yours, that’s for sure). Minho, though-
He’ll know, Onew says. He sounds so confident, it makes you wonder why. You’ve always been observant but you miss something once in a while; take for example, this? You want to punch yourself dead, seriously; since when has Key been more observant than you are, you wonder.
Yeah, Jonghyun says. He’s always watching over us. Kinda like an angel, yes?
Onew laughs and kisses Jonghyun again. Yeah. Our own angel.
*
You don’t look his way, don’t even sit beside him when it’s not necessary. Taemin looks at you as if you’re too stupid to even exist; Key rolls his eyes at how immature you are whenever he has a chance. But you can’t look at him directly without feeling your eyes well up with tears. His smile, his laughter breaks your heart when it used to make it skip a beat and dance with joy.
It’s suddenly all too obvious now: the way Jonghyun would laugh at the lamest of Onew’s jokes; the way their eyes would meet over Taemin’s head (how it happens, you’d never know); how they’d hold each other’s hands discreetly. Sometimes, you want to laugh; how could you have missed that when Jonghyun says that your role is to look over him, them?
You pull the blanket over your head and turn your back on the door, thankful that Onew is home with his parents for the night (why, you don’t ask). It doesn’t help that the older one sleeps next to you (you’ve tried trading places with Key but the latter wouldn’t budge-It’s harder if you’re up here; you’ll see Jonghyun hyung every night.) and you know when he sneaks out every night to spend some quality time with Jonghyun. You don’t know who to strangle-Onew or your-
Someone sits on your bed. You almost jump out of bed, bump your head on the top bunk and wake Key up. Shhh. Your eyes widen-Jonghyun hyung? He smiles and (your heart melts, breaks and dies) moves closer, a finger over his lips. Can I sleep beside you tonight, he asks. You fight the urge to say something that would sound very bad and that would make Jonghyun angry; instead, you nod and lift the blanket so that he could crawl in with you. He smiles again, wider this time (you die a little more inside) as he snuggles close to you.
Hyung-
You’ve been avoiding me, Minho.
He puts you in a difficult position and you’re not sure which answer would be appropriate. You opt for asking another question in return-Why do say that?-it’s safer, you think, than answering. He looks up at you, his brown eyes meeting yours in the dark. No one’s watching over me.
You want to say that it’s Onew’s job to do that, not yours; after all, isn’t he the leader and Jonghyun’s (you gulp) boyfriend? But you stay silent, letting Jonghyun continue. Just because-he pauses, unable to phrase his words (sometimes you wonder, does he know?)-Minho, look. You’re our angel. My guardian angel. And angels never leave their principal’s side, right? You raise an eyebrow-Principal? Have you been reading my Artemis Fowl books, hyung?
He pouts-MINHO!
And for the first time in weeks, you smile. He sees it and he chuckles softly, his arms going around you. Then you realize that perhaps, Jonghyun does know. That perhaps, if you met him earlier, you could’ve had the chance to capture his heart. That perhaps, there could’ve been a chance for Jonghyun and Minho. But, you think as you put your own arms around him, it is not what happened. And you can’t let a missed opportunity ruin a friendship with him.
Does he love you?
He stops laughing and you feel a softer smile spread across his face-Yes.
You pull him closer. His happiness, you think, that is what is important. A few tears escape but before you can wipe them away, he does it for you. He’s smiling sadly and there are words in his eyes-words you can understand without him saying. You kiss his forehead and for a moment, you are older than he is-wiser and more experienced in these kinds of things.
Then I promise, hyung. I promise to continue being your angel.
*
(You’re not going to fight for him?
It’s not my fight, Key.
But you love him.
Yes.
Then?
I’m driving a one-way street, Kibum.
Maybe he’ll do a U-turn. You know Jonghyun hyung is fond of breaking the rules.
In our next lifetime, Kibum. In our next lifetime, he’s going to be mine.)
xxx
081013 | 1724 H
2421 words