Ryan Ross Picspam: Spittin' Nonsense
kissingchaos9 made these two amazing picspams featuring Brendon and Spencer respectively and obviously, I thought OH ME NEXT. So not dial-up safe, 170+ pictures.
I really love Ryan Ross in all his many facets, from artistic introvert to camwhore whore to lady to wretching dorkass. Many a time I've clicked on a tinyass Buzznet thumbnail saying "What is THIS nonsense?" and he never fails to disappoint. And with Ryan, there's not just one kind of nonsense, there's at least six.
WHAT IS THIS ARTISTE NONSENSE?
Ryan, as we know, is commited to the makeup. He's an artiste with his face and he does it all himself. Sometimes, it's simple.
A smudging of color. Nothing fancy.
Simple shapes, maybe branching out and using two colors.
Or unexpected placement.
Like say a heavy stripe of bright blue across his brow. FOR EXAMPLE.
From there, maybe he adds a few more lines, a couple of spikes.
But then. OH then. Then Ryan seems to discover liquid eyeliner and creativity BURSTS FORTH!
BIRDS.
TREES.
TINY X'S.
AND SPIRALS. SO MANY SPIRALS.
Occasionally, there might be glitter.
And don't think the makeup isn't contagious. Oh no. Even if Brendon isn't committed, Ryan's going to sit his ass down and make him wear it.
WHAT IS THIS FASHIONISTA NONSENSE?
I think ROSEVEST might say it all. But oh! There is so much more beyond the rosevest.
Sometimes, Ryan is a blackjack dealer.
In paisley.
Though sometimes, his emo can only be expressed with an all black ensemble.
Sometimes, Ryan is Oliver Twist.
No one does "street urchin chic" like Ryan Ross.
Sometimes, he is a dandy? Maybe?
He also seems to love textures. Lacey, velvety textures.
I'm not really sure what this style is beyond, you know, Ryan + rosette.
See, Ryan's never met a little accent he didn't love and slap on whatever he was wearing.
See, they even spread to Jon!
So maybe he has good taste in shoes.
And clothes mostly worn by other boys.
But he also has a thing for sweatbands.
And he sometimes wears extra belts and suspenders.
Or thinks maybe he can moonlight Tony Manero in a traveling production of Saturday Night Fever. Though he is missing the gold chains.
And vests that are not so much vests as a matching cropped shrug thing and cumberbund. WHICH, you know, implies that he wears them as separates. He likes to mix and match.
But sometimes, he just really dresses like a lady.
WHAT IS THIS LADYPARTS NONSENSE?
There are some commonalities to the pictures where Ryan looks the most ladylike.
The Rosevest.
Probably because it is boned like a corset. (AND THEN MAYBE RYAN GETS BONED LIKE A COREST-WEARING LADY. WAIT WHAT.)
Also, v-neck t-shirts. He pretty much just shops on the ladies side of Old Navy with Spencer, doesn't he? I mean honestly. V NECKS.
It just shows off his delicate collarbones and his swan-like neck. It's a good thing he has such a pronounced Adam's Apple.
HONESTLY.
But what really makes him look like a lady (besides the bracelet) is this haircut.
It's a look I've seen many a lesbian rock. But never a boy. OH RYAN ROSS.
Of course, it doesn't help that he's built like a twig. A bird-like, vag-packing twig.
WHAT IS THIS CAMWHORE NONSENSE?
Oh, but Ryan will show you that he has (probably) boyparts, because he partakes in the high art of the Myspace generation, the camwhore.
See, nonchalant!
Look, he's even answering the phone! How very not posed at all!
Maybe he just wants to show you his new haircut.
Or a new sweater.
Or how much he loves MyChem. See? Innocent!
It's just a new belt. That's all.
Really. It's not like he's going to post these pictures to a community on LJ about the tightness of his pants.
And that's certainly not a bear in his crotch.
It's not like he's showing off his- oh.
Well, he definitely isn't lying in bed without a shirt on...
And surely he wouldn't be posing half naked again?
Oh right. Yes he would.
And that's certainly not an invitation to fuck him. NOPE.
See! He likes ladies! And he will camwhore with them to prove it.
See how he's at least half naked with a girl? HE'S TOTALLY STRAIGHT.
TOTALLY TOTALLY STRAIGHT.
WHAT IS THIS GAYMO NONSENSE?
What? Ryan's not checking out this dude's ass. Not at all. He's just probably saying that if this dude wanted to post to a certain LJ comm, he's gonna need tighter pants. Just saying.
All that stage groping? Just a stage thing.
It's all totally scripted.
Thigh groping? Scripted.
Guitar blowing? SO scripted.
I. Uhh. Jesus.
Errr. It's not like it happens off-stage.
Ryan can't help it if other boys just like to drape themselves all over him.
Really. Not his fault.
It's not like they're GROPING him.
Really.
All that much.
Anyway, it's not like he starts it.
Or. Umm.
Ohhh, let's just face it. This is some pretty gaymo stuff.
WHAT IS THIS WRETCHTARDED NONSENSE?
But Ryan's best nonsense comes when he's wretching around with friends and doing his best Wentz impressions. PRICELESS.
I just. There are no words.
(THIS ONE ALMOST GOT PUT IN LADYPARTS OBVS)
Occasionally, the wretching bleeds into press time, and those are my faaaavorites.
OHHH RYRO. You are made of nonsense.
Wave goodbye, Ryan!
PHEW. Obvs it is time for someone to do JWalk.
ETA: WOAH. __killingtime seems to have read my mind. Check out her awesome JWalk picspam.
I really love Ryan Ross in all his many facets, from artistic introvert to camwhore whore to lady to wretching dorkass. Many a time I've clicked on a tinyass Buzznet thumbnail saying "What is THIS nonsense?" and he never fails to disappoint. And with Ryan, there's not just one kind of nonsense, there's at least six.
WHAT IS THIS ARTISTE NONSENSE?
Ryan, as we know, is commited to the makeup. He's an artiste with his face and he does it all himself. Sometimes, it's simple.
A smudging of color. Nothing fancy.
Simple shapes, maybe branching out and using two colors.
Or unexpected placement.
Like say a heavy stripe of bright blue across his brow. FOR EXAMPLE.
From there, maybe he adds a few more lines, a couple of spikes.
But then. OH then. Then Ryan seems to discover liquid eyeliner and creativity BURSTS FORTH!
BIRDS.
TREES.
TINY X'S.
AND SPIRALS. SO MANY SPIRALS.
Occasionally, there might be glitter.
And don't think the makeup isn't contagious. Oh no. Even if Brendon isn't committed, Ryan's going to sit his ass down and make him wear it.
WHAT IS THIS FASHIONISTA NONSENSE?
I think ROSEVEST might say it all. But oh! There is so much more beyond the rosevest.
Sometimes, Ryan is a blackjack dealer.
In paisley.
Though sometimes, his emo can only be expressed with an all black ensemble.
Sometimes, Ryan is Oliver Twist.
No one does "street urchin chic" like Ryan Ross.
Sometimes, he is a dandy? Maybe?
He also seems to love textures. Lacey, velvety textures.
I'm not really sure what this style is beyond, you know, Ryan + rosette.
See, Ryan's never met a little accent he didn't love and slap on whatever he was wearing.
See, they even spread to Jon!
So maybe he has good taste in shoes.
And clothes mostly worn by other boys.
But he also has a thing for sweatbands.
And he sometimes wears extra belts and suspenders.
Or thinks maybe he can moonlight Tony Manero in a traveling production of Saturday Night Fever. Though he is missing the gold chains.
And vests that are not so much vests as a matching cropped shrug thing and cumberbund. WHICH, you know, implies that he wears them as separates. He likes to mix and match.
But sometimes, he just really dresses like a lady.
WHAT IS THIS LADYPARTS NONSENSE?
There are some commonalities to the pictures where Ryan looks the most ladylike.
The Rosevest.
Probably because it is boned like a corset. (AND THEN MAYBE RYAN GETS BONED LIKE A COREST-WEARING LADY. WAIT WHAT.)
Also, v-neck t-shirts. He pretty much just shops on the ladies side of Old Navy with Spencer, doesn't he? I mean honestly. V NECKS.
It just shows off his delicate collarbones and his swan-like neck. It's a good thing he has such a pronounced Adam's Apple.
HONESTLY.
But what really makes him look like a lady (besides the bracelet) is this haircut.
It's a look I've seen many a lesbian rock. But never a boy. OH RYAN ROSS.
Of course, it doesn't help that he's built like a twig. A bird-like, vag-packing twig.
WHAT IS THIS CAMWHORE NONSENSE?
Oh, but Ryan will show you that he has (probably) boyparts, because he partakes in the high art of the Myspace generation, the camwhore.
See, nonchalant!
Look, he's even answering the phone! How very not posed at all!
Maybe he just wants to show you his new haircut.
Or a new sweater.
Or how much he loves MyChem. See? Innocent!
It's just a new belt. That's all.
Really. It's not like he's going to post these pictures to a community on LJ about the tightness of his pants.
And that's certainly not a bear in his crotch.
It's not like he's showing off his- oh.
Well, he definitely isn't lying in bed without a shirt on...
And surely he wouldn't be posing half naked again?
Oh right. Yes he would.
And that's certainly not an invitation to fuck him. NOPE.
See! He likes ladies! And he will camwhore with them to prove it.
See how he's at least half naked with a girl? HE'S TOTALLY STRAIGHT.
TOTALLY TOTALLY STRAIGHT.
WHAT IS THIS GAYMO NONSENSE?
What? Ryan's not checking out this dude's ass. Not at all. He's just probably saying that if this dude wanted to post to a certain LJ comm, he's gonna need tighter pants. Just saying.
All that stage groping? Just a stage thing.
It's all totally scripted.
Thigh groping? Scripted.
Guitar blowing? SO scripted.
I. Uhh. Jesus.
Errr. It's not like it happens off-stage.
Ryan can't help it if other boys just like to drape themselves all over him.
Really. Not his fault.
It's not like they're GROPING him.
Really.
All that much.
Anyway, it's not like he starts it.
Or. Umm.
Ohhh, let's just face it. This is some pretty gaymo stuff.
WHAT IS THIS WRETCHTARDED NONSENSE?
But Ryan's best nonsense comes when he's wretching around with friends and doing his best Wentz impressions. PRICELESS.
I just. There are no words.
(THIS ONE ALMOST GOT PUT IN LADYPARTS OBVS)
Occasionally, the wretching bleeds into press time, and those are my faaaavorites.
OHHH RYRO. You are made of nonsense.
Wave goodbye, Ryan!
PHEW. Obvs it is time for someone to do JWalk.
ETA: WOAH. __killingtime seems to have read my mind. Check out her awesome JWalk picspam.