Someone to Watch Over Me - Chapters 3 & 4/? - Sam/Castiel, NC-17 (eventually)
Title - Someone to Watch Over Me - Chapters 3 & 4/?
Author - queerly_it_is
Pairing - Sam/Castiel
Rating - R-ish (this part, eventually NC-17)
Word Count - ~1.3k (these parts)
Warnings - Religious themes/blasphemy, slight gore, innumerable spoilers for the whole show (these parts and overall).
Disclaimer - I own nothing. Sadly.
Summary - Castiel has been assigned to watch over Dean Winchester from the time of his birth. He is expecting it to be challenging. He is not expecting the reaction he has to Dean's tainted brother, Samuel.
Authors Notes - Fill for an anon prompt on the Sassy comment fic meme (see previous journal entry). The muse kinda took the promt any ran off with it. There will be more, soon. There will also be art by the generous & talented lifelesslyndsey
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Chapter 2
Part 3
On the day preceding the one that human’s have incorrectly labelled as the birth of Christ; Dean Winchester tells his brother that his father is a superhero; after Samuel finds the book his father keeps detailing his life as a hunter. Samuel listens; in awe and dread and anger, as Dean explains the nature of a world filled with monsters.
Castiel notes the fear of loss, and the resentment at being deceived and abandoned; as they take a deeper hold inside of Samuel. He sees the disapproval and condemnations for his father begin to sprout; like the seeds of a mighty oak.
He cannot interfere.
He observes as Samuel gifts Dean with an amulet meant for his father. His interest is piqued by the intensity of the Blessing singing to him from the metal. He knows this amulet; knows it the way he knows the Sacred Chalice, or the Crown of Thorns, or the tablets that bear the Word; something pure and ancient - Holy; like the angels themselves.
He watches Dean hang the amulet around his neck with an oddly fitting - if unintentional - look of reverence, and feels something analogous to approval radiate from Heaven.
In 1996; Castiel watches as Dean and Samuel set fire to an empty field with a box of fireworks. Despite the danger as the flames spread across grass and trees; they are laughing. The bond between them is immeasurably strong, as it was between Michael and Lucifer before the rebellion. He fails to understand the need to divide brothers to serve brothers already divided. It is not his place to question his Father‘s plan.
He cannot interfere.
When Dean is sixteen-years-old, he kills his first monster; and finds acceptance in his purpose. He stands in a wood, next to his father, watching the carcass of a Wendigo as it‘s destroyed by flames. John places a hand on his shoulder and tells him he isn’t a boy anymore. Castiel cannot help but think he never was.
Samuel is sitting alone in their car, and Castiel’s focus is divided between them, as it so often is, of late. Dean’s mind is flitting quickly over images of suburban homes and lives that are not his own, and Castiel can feel him letting go of them. Samuel’s mind is a sharply-focused contrast of possibilities, half-formed plans and seething resentment at being both dragged along and left behind.
Samuel joins his father and brother on a hunt for the first time at the age of fourteen. Castiel remains unseen and intangible, as the Winchesters move ruthlessly in pursuit of a werewolf. Castiel feels the tormented soul of the creature; the howl of Purgatory that screams from it. He watches as they silently herd it into a clearing; John and Dean feigning attack again and again to keep the former human off-balance long enough for Samuel to make the kill.
He is two years younger than Dean was.
Samuel doesn’t sleep that night; the bitter note of guilt at killing something rises from him, discordantly mixing with resentment and the ever-present anger fuelled by his demonic heritage. Again, Castiel feels what can only be sympathy for this boy; this child of destiny his brothers speak of with disdain.
He cannot interfere.
Part 4
Castiel watches John Winchester leave his teenage children in a small town in Indiana. Dean has a façade of disaffectedness now, that colours everything he does, and he wears the interweaving fabrics of Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, and Sloth the way he wears his father’s jacket; as though they were something he could slip off at a whim.
Castiel wonders at the lack of faith he feels in Dean, the absolute belief that Hell exists and Heaven does not; that demons are real and angels are myth. Castiel is perplexed that this man is the Righteous Man; the one whose actions will influence all Creation, while his condemned brother kneels in the dark and prays to a God that will not answer; clutching his faith to his chest as though it will keep him warm.
The conviction in Samuel is disquieting and unexpected; and Castiel is reminded by those of his brethren he consults that Lucifer was the same; that he shone the brightest in his faith and love of God even next to Michael and the others, and that it was that brilliance that blinded him and ultimately caused his Fall.
There is much of Lucifer in Samuel, as there is much of Michael in Dean; Castiel is not ignorant of that, but they are also so unlike their archangelic counterparts in many ways. Castiel questions the surety his superiors have that when the time comes; the Winchesters will choose to fulfil their predestined roles. He sometimes thinks the familial bond they share will keep them from giving in; from consenting.
Castiel keeps such thoughts to himself.
He watches Samuel intercede and defend a child from the cruelty of another child. He watches Dean’s façade crack beneath the ire of a lover. He watches Samuel tell his brother that he doesn’t want to be a ‘freak’. He watches Samuel as he tells a teacher no one has ever asked him what he wants.
He watches Samuel.
At fifteen; Samuel becomes enamoured with a girl who isn’t human. Castiel is watching Dean, in accordance with his orders, but can hear Samuel through the artificial connection of the telephone as he repeats his desire to be ‘normal’. Samuel will never be normal, Castiel knows. That option was taken from him years before his birth.
Against his better judgement; Castiel attempts to divide his attention between the Winchesters. He does not regret the choice when he finds Samuel hiding in a small space, while two Kitsune stand outside. There is nothing he can do about them; even if they were overtly threatening Samuel, Castiel has no orders that would allow him to defend the boy.
He is no longer certain that that would be sufficient cause to keep him from doing so.
Castiel watches the girl kill her mother to protect Samuel, and is perhaps relieved that the choice was made for him.
After that, he resolves to stay more distanced from Samuel.
In 1999; John takes Samuel to Florida to hunt a banshee, believing that Samuel needs the additional training. Dean profoundly dislikes the idea of being unable to protect Samuel, though he never openly disagrees with his father, and so he drives on his own through several states, until he meets a woman named Lisa Braeden. He stops driving for a while after that.
Despite his father‘s intentions, Samuel‘s desire to leave the life he has been raised in only grows stronger. Castiel has spent months observing as Samuel fills out papers and sends letters and hides things from his family. He is aware that Samuel is planning to leave. He is aware of the risk that it poses, the vulnerability it creates.
He cannot interfere.
Castiel hears the bitter notes pain and loss in John Winchester, as he tells his son not to come back.
The lack of truth in the words is apparent only to him.
He feels the devastation coursing through Dean as Samuel leaves for Stanford University; Dean standing at the bus station until long after Samuel is no longer visible. He feels the same loss in Samuel grow more painful as the miles stretch between him and his brother, until Castiel is forced to return to Dean.
The division it seems; is forming regardless.
Chapters 5 & 6
Author - queerly_it_is
Pairing - Sam/Castiel
Rating - R-ish (this part, eventually NC-17)
Word Count - ~1.3k (these parts)
Warnings - Religious themes/blasphemy, slight gore, innumerable spoilers for the whole show (these parts and overall).
Disclaimer - I own nothing. Sadly.
Summary - Castiel has been assigned to watch over Dean Winchester from the time of his birth. He is expecting it to be challenging. He is not expecting the reaction he has to Dean's tainted brother, Samuel.
Authors Notes - Fill for an anon prompt on the Sassy comment fic meme (see previous journal entry). The muse kinda took the promt any ran off with it. There will be more, soon. There will also be art by the generous & talented lifelesslyndsey
----------------------------------
Chapter 2
Part 3
On the day preceding the one that human’s have incorrectly labelled as the birth of Christ; Dean Winchester tells his brother that his father is a superhero; after Samuel finds the book his father keeps detailing his life as a hunter. Samuel listens; in awe and dread and anger, as Dean explains the nature of a world filled with monsters.
Castiel notes the fear of loss, and the resentment at being deceived and abandoned; as they take a deeper hold inside of Samuel. He sees the disapproval and condemnations for his father begin to sprout; like the seeds of a mighty oak.
He cannot interfere.
He observes as Samuel gifts Dean with an amulet meant for his father. His interest is piqued by the intensity of the Blessing singing to him from the metal. He knows this amulet; knows it the way he knows the Sacred Chalice, or the Crown of Thorns, or the tablets that bear the Word; something pure and ancient - Holy; like the angels themselves.
He watches Dean hang the amulet around his neck with an oddly fitting - if unintentional - look of reverence, and feels something analogous to approval radiate from Heaven.
In 1996; Castiel watches as Dean and Samuel set fire to an empty field with a box of fireworks. Despite the danger as the flames spread across grass and trees; they are laughing. The bond between them is immeasurably strong, as it was between Michael and Lucifer before the rebellion. He fails to understand the need to divide brothers to serve brothers already divided. It is not his place to question his Father‘s plan.
He cannot interfere.
When Dean is sixteen-years-old, he kills his first monster; and finds acceptance in his purpose. He stands in a wood, next to his father, watching the carcass of a Wendigo as it‘s destroyed by flames. John places a hand on his shoulder and tells him he isn’t a boy anymore. Castiel cannot help but think he never was.
Samuel is sitting alone in their car, and Castiel’s focus is divided between them, as it so often is, of late. Dean’s mind is flitting quickly over images of suburban homes and lives that are not his own, and Castiel can feel him letting go of them. Samuel’s mind is a sharply-focused contrast of possibilities, half-formed plans and seething resentment at being both dragged along and left behind.
Samuel joins his father and brother on a hunt for the first time at the age of fourteen. Castiel remains unseen and intangible, as the Winchesters move ruthlessly in pursuit of a werewolf. Castiel feels the tormented soul of the creature; the howl of Purgatory that screams from it. He watches as they silently herd it into a clearing; John and Dean feigning attack again and again to keep the former human off-balance long enough for Samuel to make the kill.
He is two years younger than Dean was.
Samuel doesn’t sleep that night; the bitter note of guilt at killing something rises from him, discordantly mixing with resentment and the ever-present anger fuelled by his demonic heritage. Again, Castiel feels what can only be sympathy for this boy; this child of destiny his brothers speak of with disdain.
He cannot interfere.
Part 4
Castiel watches John Winchester leave his teenage children in a small town in Indiana. Dean has a façade of disaffectedness now, that colours everything he does, and he wears the interweaving fabrics of Pride, Gluttony, Lust, Wrath, and Sloth the way he wears his father’s jacket; as though they were something he could slip off at a whim.
Castiel wonders at the lack of faith he feels in Dean, the absolute belief that Hell exists and Heaven does not; that demons are real and angels are myth. Castiel is perplexed that this man is the Righteous Man; the one whose actions will influence all Creation, while his condemned brother kneels in the dark and prays to a God that will not answer; clutching his faith to his chest as though it will keep him warm.
The conviction in Samuel is disquieting and unexpected; and Castiel is reminded by those of his brethren he consults that Lucifer was the same; that he shone the brightest in his faith and love of God even next to Michael and the others, and that it was that brilliance that blinded him and ultimately caused his Fall.
There is much of Lucifer in Samuel, as there is much of Michael in Dean; Castiel is not ignorant of that, but they are also so unlike their archangelic counterparts in many ways. Castiel questions the surety his superiors have that when the time comes; the Winchesters will choose to fulfil their predestined roles. He sometimes thinks the familial bond they share will keep them from giving in; from consenting.
Castiel keeps such thoughts to himself.
He watches Samuel intercede and defend a child from the cruelty of another child. He watches Dean’s façade crack beneath the ire of a lover. He watches Samuel tell his brother that he doesn’t want to be a ‘freak’. He watches Samuel as he tells a teacher no one has ever asked him what he wants.
He watches Samuel.
At fifteen; Samuel becomes enamoured with a girl who isn’t human. Castiel is watching Dean, in accordance with his orders, but can hear Samuel through the artificial connection of the telephone as he repeats his desire to be ‘normal’. Samuel will never be normal, Castiel knows. That option was taken from him years before his birth.
Against his better judgement; Castiel attempts to divide his attention between the Winchesters. He does not regret the choice when he finds Samuel hiding in a small space, while two Kitsune stand outside. There is nothing he can do about them; even if they were overtly threatening Samuel, Castiel has no orders that would allow him to defend the boy.
He is no longer certain that that would be sufficient cause to keep him from doing so.
Castiel watches the girl kill her mother to protect Samuel, and is perhaps relieved that the choice was made for him.
After that, he resolves to stay more distanced from Samuel.
In 1999; John takes Samuel to Florida to hunt a banshee, believing that Samuel needs the additional training. Dean profoundly dislikes the idea of being unable to protect Samuel, though he never openly disagrees with his father, and so he drives on his own through several states, until he meets a woman named Lisa Braeden. He stops driving for a while after that.
Despite his father‘s intentions, Samuel‘s desire to leave the life he has been raised in only grows stronger. Castiel has spent months observing as Samuel fills out papers and sends letters and hides things from his family. He is aware that Samuel is planning to leave. He is aware of the risk that it poses, the vulnerability it creates.
He cannot interfere.
Castiel hears the bitter notes pain and loss in John Winchester, as he tells his son not to come back.
The lack of truth in the words is apparent only to him.
He feels the devastation coursing through Dean as Samuel leaves for Stanford University; Dean standing at the bus station until long after Samuel is no longer visible. He feels the same loss in Samuel grow more painful as the miles stretch between him and his brother, until Castiel is forced to return to Dean.
The division it seems; is forming regardless.
Chapters 5 & 6