fourth bullet :: video
[The feed clicks on. Mami's sitting against a tree on the outskirts of the Gardens, knees tucked against her chest and arms loosely wrapped around them. The camera angle is awkward, showing as it does only her back and a partial view of her side; still, it's enough to see the corners of those gold eyes and how red they are from crying
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...T-Tomoe-san?
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She had planned to say this later, to broach the topic some other time, when she had enough time, when she could gently bring it up with Madoka's support.
But it's all she could find, all she has left.]
That isn't true... that isn't how things are...
Tomoe-san...um, you know... This isn't the second time I've met you... [Sniffle.]
I've met you again and again before this... fighting witches day after day...
I...I've seen you die, fighting to save everyone, thousands and thousands of people...fighting against Walpurgis Night, dying alongside Kaname-san, time after time, even knowing that you risked your life...
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...what?
[that's such an inadequate response, but she's honestly floored]
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I...I know it's hard to believe. But it's not a lie.
Tomoe-san...you saved me too. You've saved thousands, maybe tens of thousands of people each time we've met. If that makes you selfish, what does it make the rest of us...?
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[and that's what she wants to believe, because that's a crazy idea, that Homura could do what she's implying- travel through time, witness a cycle of events over and over
but you can hear the wavering doubt in her voice]
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It's what I wished for. To repeat the month I spent knowing you and Kaname-san, but....as a protector, not one who had to be protected. [Sniffle.] After you two died, after you two saved me, saved everyone...
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And just like that, Mami deflates, as sure as if Homura had punched her in the gut to force out all her air. If that's the reason for Homura's contract, that kind of desire- then of course it was possible. And while she hasn't yet learned to trust Homura, beyond a softening of the usual cold hostility, there's simply no lie to be heard in that voice.
She's quiet for a long time, staring off into nothing. Her mind is reeling hard. You can see the conflict on her face, the inevitable acceptance warring with the numb fear and overwhelming shock at the sinking in of such an epiphany.]
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Her voice is softer again, though still filled with emotion when she speaks again.]
Sorry...I wanted to tell you, someday...
But please, believe me...you're a heroine...you're not someone useless or disgusting. Your real mother would be proud if she could meet you.
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I can't....[several hard swallows]...I can't accept that, right now, I think. But....[as if in a dream, her hand comes over her heart, because she's having trouble breathing; it's too much, too much.]...it's all right. It'll be all right...maybe.
[and with a soft, fragile honesty:]
...thank you, Homura-san.
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Has she really been some kind of help? She had tried, of course, desperately trying to help her upperclassman, her mentor. Maybe it's just a simple wedge against a boulder, but it's something, even if it's ever so minor.
Perhaps if she were there, she could help more, to try to protect Mami against whatever may be masquerading as her mother, to make sure nothing else would come of it one way or another. But it might be nigh impossible to find the girl in any time using her own guesswork, without using a good deal of magic to stop its flow.
But...sometimes the most meaningful battles are the ones one fights on one's own, with but the help of words from friends. That's one lesson she has slowly learned.]
If I can help Tomoe-san even a little, I'm glad to do it. Even...even if it takes some time.
[She pauses briefly.] Tomoe-san...are you safe there?
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...Safe enough, I think.
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...If you need someone... or want someone, I can come find you...just in case. Or I can try to find Kaname-san if....if that's you want.
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[her voice turns hard for a moment]
If I had my way, you wouldn't even be seeing this. Stupid Vine.
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[She reaches for the Vine to dismiss the mirror once again. Time, after all, could be the best cure.]
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[she pauses, about to say something else
...but she can't; everything hurts enough as it is, so Mami just turns fully away]
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