Hiatus
It is said that comparing yourself to others is a most dangerous thing to do. Yet we do it all the time. And suffer because of it. We mostly compare our lacks to others' assets, and feel bad because of it. It is said that we should focus on what we do have, what is working, what is good - instead of dwelling on what we do not have. Hmm.
My lacks:
- I am not a traditional college student. I do not live on or near campus. It makes things difficult in so many ways. I commute to school. It effects me academically as well as socially. My classes, teachers, labs, libraries, gym, health centers, school functions & events are not a 5-minute walk from my bed. I have no roommates my age that go through similar & same things that I go through. School feels like a second job. I'm not there to absorb the whole "college life". It makes me feel very disconnected and not like a "college student" at all.
- I have not cohabitated in any way. Although I'm not sure that it's the lack of cohabitation itself that makes me feel down, but the fact that every couple I know are becoming closer with each other. Everyone's living together, everyone's moving together, everyone's getting married, everyone's coming home from a long day of school or work to each other. Everyone's spending holidays intimately with each other. Everyone is going to bed and waking up next to each other. Everyone but me that is. I still live at home. And my much older other-half is living at home. And he sure acts like it... Everyone is so in love and seriously involved and taking next steps together. And I...I don't know where I stand.
- I do not feel as if I am particularly skilled in any talent. I want to be really good at something. Really proficient in some area. I want to do something that someone will be proud of me for. Something that my parents will be proud of and want to exploit me for. Something I can feel good about even when I'm down, so I can say to myself, "Hey, I may be depressed but at least I can do _________".
My haves:
- I have completed some school. And am still on the path towards finishing school, as stressful as it may seem.
- Living at home means not having to worry about/pay rent and other bills. (For now, anyway.)
- I have many interests and things that I like to do.
- I have my health...for the most part. I am alive and somewhat well.
- I have people that love and care about me. And I love and care about people.
- I am trying to have at least some fun despite it all.
It is said that these are supposed to be the best years of your life. Pfft. Whatever. I do not feel young. I feel quite de-spirited. :(
My lacks:
- I am not a traditional college student. I do not live on or near campus. It makes things difficult in so many ways. I commute to school. It effects me academically as well as socially. My classes, teachers, labs, libraries, gym, health centers, school functions & events are not a 5-minute walk from my bed. I have no roommates my age that go through similar & same things that I go through. School feels like a second job. I'm not there to absorb the whole "college life". It makes me feel very disconnected and not like a "college student" at all.
- I have not cohabitated in any way. Although I'm not sure that it's the lack of cohabitation itself that makes me feel down, but the fact that every couple I know are becoming closer with each other. Everyone's living together, everyone's moving together, everyone's getting married, everyone's coming home from a long day of school or work to each other. Everyone's spending holidays intimately with each other. Everyone is going to bed and waking up next to each other. Everyone but me that is. I still live at home. And my much older other-half is living at home. And he sure acts like it... Everyone is so in love and seriously involved and taking next steps together. And I...I don't know where I stand.
- I do not feel as if I am particularly skilled in any talent. I want to be really good at something. Really proficient in some area. I want to do something that someone will be proud of me for. Something that my parents will be proud of and want to exploit me for. Something I can feel good about even when I'm down, so I can say to myself, "Hey, I may be depressed but at least I can do _________".
My haves:
- I have completed some school. And am still on the path towards finishing school, as stressful as it may seem.
- Living at home means not having to worry about/pay rent and other bills. (For now, anyway.)
- I have many interests and things that I like to do.
- I have my health...for the most part. I am alive and somewhat well.
- I have people that love and care about me. And I love and care about people.
- I am trying to have at least some fun despite it all.
It is said that these are supposed to be the best years of your life. Pfft. Whatever. I do not feel young. I feel quite de-spirited. :(