Fic: A Search For Wings: Fallen Angel, 15/17, Obidala, R
Title: A Search For Wings: Fallen Angel
Author: queen-meep
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Padme
Rating: M, contains sexual situations
Status: Complete
Original Beginning Date: 07/14/2005
Original Completion Date: 10/16/2005
Sequel: Depths of the Soul
Summary: AU ObiAmiVader Takes place after the duel at Mustafar, another what if exploring what would happen if instead of dying, Padme went into exile with Obi-Wan and they faked her death. (Taken directly from ff.net)
Originally posted here.
Return to index post.
Chapter 15 - The Death of Anakin Skywalker
They stared at his dark figure, nearly in disbelief. Obi-Wan rose to his feet, putting Padmé behind him, in a belated attempt to shield her from his vision, as if the Sith seeing her would mean a death sentence. And he supposed it potentially could. Thoughts fluttered through his mind, assessing the situation, his hand itching to draw his lightsaber. He knew there was no way to negotiate this, but he did not want to provoke additional anger from the Dark Lord.
He himself could not move at first. He was instantly filled with a veritable volcano of emotions upon seeing Padmé. He had noticed how happy she looked, how serene her posture was, how she rested the weight of her body on the older Jedi. He knew with envy, jealousy, and rage that Obi-Wan had been lifting her chin much in the manner one would solicit a kiss from their lover. And now, possessiveness marked Obi-Wan’s stance.
So, it was true! His wife really was seeking refuge in the arms of another man, his former best friend at that! The knife of betrayal twisted again in his gut, fueling him with a blinding rage. But, he carefully kept check on it, realized that he had to control these feelings, use them carefully, calculatedly. He used the deliberation to scan over Padmé once more, and notice that he was not quite as sure of his reading of the situation.
The Force did not echo through Padmé in the way that he remembered. He knew the way it had very distinctly; it had only varied during the pregnancy with their child. And this woman was not his Padmé, unless she was pregnant again. He did not allow himself the possibility, hoped against hope that the betrayal did not sink that deep. Padmé may have been capable of seeking another’s arms, but she would not sleep with him.
She could at least honor his memory, if she did think him dead, not jump into bed with his Master, the one she knew he saw as his brother and nearly his father. Obi-Wan had been the only other person he had allowed himself to be close with, and she knew this just as intimately as he. And Obi-Wan knew it… but he now felt the Jedi Master was just waiting for the chance to rid himself of his Apprentice, sever the bonds, and claim a new position in Padmé’s heart.
It led him to confusion, who was this woman, then? If not Padmé, it would definitely have to be one of the handmaidens. He racked his brain, trying to remember the interactions that Obi-Wan had kept with the handmaidens. He thought through his feelings, trying to determine if Obi-Wan was capable of hiding an affair for very long. He searched, and found he had no idea, all of his opinions of his former Master had been shaken.
He had wanted to see Obi-Wan as an exception to the corruption of the Jedi, wanted to think that there was a possibility that he would join him, simply because of their bond. But on Mustafar, he found this was not indeed the case. Until now, he had pushed away the things that Obi-Wan had said to him, remembering a few in particular. That he had become the very thing he fought against, and that he was supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!
With Padmé alive, he was not quite as firm in his decision, his loyalties. He was almost ready to reach out to Obi-Wan again, seek his assistance in overthrowing Darth Sidious. He was especially relieved in not finding firm evidence of Padmé in his former Master’s arms. The betrayal that had gripped his gut was easing away, just a nag now.
But what would Obi-Wan think, what would he say? He broached the silence, initiating the first move. “Padmé?” he questioned, barely capable of thinking, much less saying, anything else. He had to know of her whereabouts.
The woman behind Obi-Wan moved beside him, in plain view. He distinctly recognized the Senator face she would don, her mask against emotions. But, this was another common trait among the handmaidens. Any handmaiden would know how to do that. “Padmé is dead.” She asserted. He noticed Obi-Wan stayed abnormally silent. Was he hiding something, keeping himself from lying?
“Who are you, then?” he questioned, his heart leaping with hope. If this was not Padmé, he still had a chance of regaining her heart, if it had not been claimed by Obi-Wan.
“Sabé.” She answered simply, standing as still as she could, apparently unaware of his intentions.
He, too, was unaware of his own intentions. He no longer had a plan, was quickly reformulating one, watching where the situation was heading. He noticed, from the look of concentration on Obi-Wan’s face, that he was doing the same. He yearned to reach out through their bond they had acquired through their years training together and see what his Master was thinking, seek confirmation that he could still try to make peace, have Obi-Wan help him overthrow Sidious. He felt the past month’s consternation and rage over his Master start falling away.
Obi-Wan spoke up, ever the negotiator. “Are you here to pick up where you left off?” he asked the question carefully, knowing as he said it that it was a double-edged sword, the answer would be difficult either way. Obi-Wan could sense the hesitation in Vader, knew from his lack of action thus far that he was skirting with not carrying out his previous dark plans.
Everything that was left of Anakin inside him bubbled to the surface, seeing an opportunity to redeem himself to his Master, to seek his friend’s aid. If he were no longer desiring the aid of the Dark Lord, he would need his assistance in overthrowing him. Just in case. The arrogance that had swayed his mind for so long was kept at bay, the more unassured Anakin coming to the forefront.
He had glimpsed new power, learned new abilities, yet still felt drawn to the old attachments, still felt Obi-Wan to be the better Master. Lord Sidious to date had taught him nothing. And Obi-Wan never sought to intentionally deceive him, nor could he with the lack of the Jedi Council. It was tearing him apart, the battle between the loyalties. “I do not know, yet.” He answered truthfully, feeling truth break down further walls. He felt Anakin taking further control at every step.
Obi-Wan nodded carefully, reminding him, “I will not join the Emperor. Nor will I assist you in destroying our Order. I fully intend on rebuilding the Order and the Republic, returning the galaxy to democracy.” Obi-Wan’s mind raced with possibilities, not sure now what was unfolding before his eyes. He gently reached out with his feelings, carefully tucking knowledge away in the back of his mind. He invited Anakin in, allowing him to see the hope he felt that perhaps things could be different.
The men found their old training bond anew, both hesitantly seeking the other. As Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he saw the very welcome image of his friend and Apprentice as before, not the foreboding Darth Vader in human or machine form. What has happened? He beseeched Anakin.
The reply was hesitant, I know Padmé is alive.
Obi-Wan could not help the surprise at hearing this, almost wanted to ask how he knew this. He threw up another wall, trying to shield the knowledge of Padmé, of their child. Anakin sensed this and angered. What are you hiding from me? Anakin inquired, his brow knitting and Obi-Wan could see the physical changes the Dark Side inflicted upon him returning.
Instead of answering, Obi-Wan changed the subject, throwing back at him, Why are you killing our Kind? He realized instantly that it had been a mistake. Anakin’s eyes yellowed, flecked with red, colors of the flames at Mustafar. He was again Darth Vader, again the man that had slaughtered younglings and was exterminating the last of their Order.
He shouted at him, almost piteously, You would never understand! You never have understood! He did not yet draw his lightsaber, yet rested his hand on it, even in the Force image.
Obi-Wan felt a sinking feeling in his gut, knew the failures his Apprentice spoke of. He recognized this now as a cry of help, a cry for understanding, to be recognized and understood for what he was instead of for what everyone else had wanted him to be. But he stood immobilized, incapable of acting, not knowing what to say to right the wrongs Anakin had felt. He was learning piece by piece the reasons his Apprentice had turned his back on them all, even had felt the despair and lack of control when faced with the premonition of Padmé’s death.
But revealing this would not help. It would never mend their bond, it would simply draw him further away. He realized the only way to gain Anakin back was to lose Padmé. And even that was a high gamble- there was no guarantee that Anakin’s lust for power and his impulsive, tempestuous ways would not be back. And if that happened, he would be ultimately alone, on his own to battle the Dark Side. He felt destined to do that anyway, but wanted to prevent it in any way he could. And he was sworn to protect Padmé.
He remained silent, and so Anakin continued his cries, the anguish apparent in his voice. You took her from me! He spoke again of Padmé, and Obi-Wan did not know whether he knew of their bond or not, but his knowledge of Padmé being alive and that she was not by his side was apparently enough for him.
Obi-Wan remained firm, quiet, not wanting to risk making the delicate situation worse, not wanting to bode him into doing anything he may not have done otherwise. But his silence was just as bad to his Apprentice, who had been seeking any negation of this, just a simple “No” would have helped. Anakin was lost to him forever.
He drew his lightsaber and ended their connection. The rematch had begun.
Return to index post.
Author: queen-meep
Pairing: Obi-Wan/Padme
Rating: M, contains sexual situations
Status: Complete
Original Beginning Date: 07/14/2005
Original Completion Date: 10/16/2005
Sequel: Depths of the Soul
Summary: AU ObiAmiVader Takes place after the duel at Mustafar, another what if exploring what would happen if instead of dying, Padme went into exile with Obi-Wan and they faked her death. (Taken directly from ff.net)
Originally posted here.
Return to index post.
Chapter 15 - The Death of Anakin Skywalker
They stared at his dark figure, nearly in disbelief. Obi-Wan rose to his feet, putting Padmé behind him, in a belated attempt to shield her from his vision, as if the Sith seeing her would mean a death sentence. And he supposed it potentially could. Thoughts fluttered through his mind, assessing the situation, his hand itching to draw his lightsaber. He knew there was no way to negotiate this, but he did not want to provoke additional anger from the Dark Lord.
He himself could not move at first. He was instantly filled with a veritable volcano of emotions upon seeing Padmé. He had noticed how happy she looked, how serene her posture was, how she rested the weight of her body on the older Jedi. He knew with envy, jealousy, and rage that Obi-Wan had been lifting her chin much in the manner one would solicit a kiss from their lover. And now, possessiveness marked Obi-Wan’s stance.
So, it was true! His wife really was seeking refuge in the arms of another man, his former best friend at that! The knife of betrayal twisted again in his gut, fueling him with a blinding rage. But, he carefully kept check on it, realized that he had to control these feelings, use them carefully, calculatedly. He used the deliberation to scan over Padmé once more, and notice that he was not quite as sure of his reading of the situation.
The Force did not echo through Padmé in the way that he remembered. He knew the way it had very distinctly; it had only varied during the pregnancy with their child. And this woman was not his Padmé, unless she was pregnant again. He did not allow himself the possibility, hoped against hope that the betrayal did not sink that deep. Padmé may have been capable of seeking another’s arms, but she would not sleep with him.
She could at least honor his memory, if she did think him dead, not jump into bed with his Master, the one she knew he saw as his brother and nearly his father. Obi-Wan had been the only other person he had allowed himself to be close with, and she knew this just as intimately as he. And Obi-Wan knew it… but he now felt the Jedi Master was just waiting for the chance to rid himself of his Apprentice, sever the bonds, and claim a new position in Padmé’s heart.
It led him to confusion, who was this woman, then? If not Padmé, it would definitely have to be one of the handmaidens. He racked his brain, trying to remember the interactions that Obi-Wan had kept with the handmaidens. He thought through his feelings, trying to determine if Obi-Wan was capable of hiding an affair for very long. He searched, and found he had no idea, all of his opinions of his former Master had been shaken.
He had wanted to see Obi-Wan as an exception to the corruption of the Jedi, wanted to think that there was a possibility that he would join him, simply because of their bond. But on Mustafar, he found this was not indeed the case. Until now, he had pushed away the things that Obi-Wan had said to him, remembering a few in particular. That he had become the very thing he fought against, and that he was supposed to destroy the Sith, not join them!
With Padmé alive, he was not quite as firm in his decision, his loyalties. He was almost ready to reach out to Obi-Wan again, seek his assistance in overthrowing Darth Sidious. He was especially relieved in not finding firm evidence of Padmé in his former Master’s arms. The betrayal that had gripped his gut was easing away, just a nag now.
But what would Obi-Wan think, what would he say? He broached the silence, initiating the first move. “Padmé?” he questioned, barely capable of thinking, much less saying, anything else. He had to know of her whereabouts.
The woman behind Obi-Wan moved beside him, in plain view. He distinctly recognized the Senator face she would don, her mask against emotions. But, this was another common trait among the handmaidens. Any handmaiden would know how to do that. “Padmé is dead.” She asserted. He noticed Obi-Wan stayed abnormally silent. Was he hiding something, keeping himself from lying?
“Who are you, then?” he questioned, his heart leaping with hope. If this was not Padmé, he still had a chance of regaining her heart, if it had not been claimed by Obi-Wan.
“Sabé.” She answered simply, standing as still as she could, apparently unaware of his intentions.
He, too, was unaware of his own intentions. He no longer had a plan, was quickly reformulating one, watching where the situation was heading. He noticed, from the look of concentration on Obi-Wan’s face, that he was doing the same. He yearned to reach out through their bond they had acquired through their years training together and see what his Master was thinking, seek confirmation that he could still try to make peace, have Obi-Wan help him overthrow Sidious. He felt the past month’s consternation and rage over his Master start falling away.
Obi-Wan spoke up, ever the negotiator. “Are you here to pick up where you left off?” he asked the question carefully, knowing as he said it that it was a double-edged sword, the answer would be difficult either way. Obi-Wan could sense the hesitation in Vader, knew from his lack of action thus far that he was skirting with not carrying out his previous dark plans.
Everything that was left of Anakin inside him bubbled to the surface, seeing an opportunity to redeem himself to his Master, to seek his friend’s aid. If he were no longer desiring the aid of the Dark Lord, he would need his assistance in overthrowing him. Just in case. The arrogance that had swayed his mind for so long was kept at bay, the more unassured Anakin coming to the forefront.
He had glimpsed new power, learned new abilities, yet still felt drawn to the old attachments, still felt Obi-Wan to be the better Master. Lord Sidious to date had taught him nothing. And Obi-Wan never sought to intentionally deceive him, nor could he with the lack of the Jedi Council. It was tearing him apart, the battle between the loyalties. “I do not know, yet.” He answered truthfully, feeling truth break down further walls. He felt Anakin taking further control at every step.
Obi-Wan nodded carefully, reminding him, “I will not join the Emperor. Nor will I assist you in destroying our Order. I fully intend on rebuilding the Order and the Republic, returning the galaxy to democracy.” Obi-Wan’s mind raced with possibilities, not sure now what was unfolding before his eyes. He gently reached out with his feelings, carefully tucking knowledge away in the back of his mind. He invited Anakin in, allowing him to see the hope he felt that perhaps things could be different.
The men found their old training bond anew, both hesitantly seeking the other. As Obi-Wan closed his eyes, he saw the very welcome image of his friend and Apprentice as before, not the foreboding Darth Vader in human or machine form. What has happened? He beseeched Anakin.
The reply was hesitant, I know Padmé is alive.
Obi-Wan could not help the surprise at hearing this, almost wanted to ask how he knew this. He threw up another wall, trying to shield the knowledge of Padmé, of their child. Anakin sensed this and angered. What are you hiding from me? Anakin inquired, his brow knitting and Obi-Wan could see the physical changes the Dark Side inflicted upon him returning.
Instead of answering, Obi-Wan changed the subject, throwing back at him, Why are you killing our Kind? He realized instantly that it had been a mistake. Anakin’s eyes yellowed, flecked with red, colors of the flames at Mustafar. He was again Darth Vader, again the man that had slaughtered younglings and was exterminating the last of their Order.
He shouted at him, almost piteously, You would never understand! You never have understood! He did not yet draw his lightsaber, yet rested his hand on it, even in the Force image.
Obi-Wan felt a sinking feeling in his gut, knew the failures his Apprentice spoke of. He recognized this now as a cry of help, a cry for understanding, to be recognized and understood for what he was instead of for what everyone else had wanted him to be. But he stood immobilized, incapable of acting, not knowing what to say to right the wrongs Anakin had felt. He was learning piece by piece the reasons his Apprentice had turned his back on them all, even had felt the despair and lack of control when faced with the premonition of Padmé’s death.
But revealing this would not help. It would never mend their bond, it would simply draw him further away. He realized the only way to gain Anakin back was to lose Padmé. And even that was a high gamble- there was no guarantee that Anakin’s lust for power and his impulsive, tempestuous ways would not be back. And if that happened, he would be ultimately alone, on his own to battle the Dark Side. He felt destined to do that anyway, but wanted to prevent it in any way he could. And he was sworn to protect Padmé.
He remained silent, and so Anakin continued his cries, the anguish apparent in his voice. You took her from me! He spoke again of Padmé, and Obi-Wan did not know whether he knew of their bond or not, but his knowledge of Padmé being alive and that she was not by his side was apparently enough for him.
Obi-Wan remained firm, quiet, not wanting to risk making the delicate situation worse, not wanting to bode him into doing anything he may not have done otherwise. But his silence was just as bad to his Apprentice, who had been seeking any negation of this, just a simple “No” would have helped. Anakin was lost to him forever.
He drew his lightsaber and ended their connection. The rematch had begun.
Return to index post.