THIS JUST IN:

[quarex]

In response to the Democratic National Committee's decision to split the delegates only slightly in Hillary Clinton's favor, Clinton's spokesperson informed them that she has "reserved the right" to guarantee that John McCain wins the election.

Comments

[lishd]

is this funny onion thing or serious? i'm so out of the political loop that i can't tell.

Both!

[quarex]

She actually said she reserved the right to appeal the decision at the convention in August. Because it is going to be very helpful for us to have three more months of Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama supporters hating each other.

[harlequinfetus]

Me and my friend Gina are apparently the only people we know who like Hillary Clinton.

Yes.

[quarex]

Yes, you are.

No, obviously not. She has a pretty substantial support base, clearly, though most of them do not use the Internet. And of course who knows how many votes Rush Limbaugh successfully got her through his plan to laugh about how you can ruin the democratic system with so little effort.

I liked Hillary Clinton until roughly one second before she mentioned how Martin Luther King Jr.'s progress would have amounted to nothing without Lyndon Johnson.

I even still liked her then a little bit until she started leading her supporters in the mantra that somehow a race where she was on the ballot unopposed was a fair determination of votes.

Chalk me up in one of the 10% or so of people who has gone from "favorable" to "unfavorable" in the course of this primary. I still do not hate her or want her to explode or anything, though, and would be fine with her as Vice President. Even though my wonderfully insightful girlfriend Mandy is convinced she would then just consistently try to undermine him in time for her to take over by

Re: Yes.

[fushigidane]

She will never be veep, or at least not Barack's veep, because he is all about not doing things the old Washington way and she is all about the old Washington way. Her presence on the ticket would undermine the whole appeal of his appeal.

She will be McCain's vice presidential choice.

[quarex]

After seeing a bevy of t-shirts in Virginia Beach storefronts with slogans like "[picture of Clinton] 'NO!' [picture of Obama] 'HELL NO!'" and "OSAMA = OBAMA [picture of Obama with that Tunesian tribal garb or whatever]," I am no longer convinced that anyone actually knows anything about any of the candidates, and will just vote for whoever has the name he/she likes the most.

But fo' serious, I both agree that she would not be a good choice to point out that his campaign is bucking the Washington Stagnation Politics trend, and feel that there are a lot of old women who are going to sit at home and angrily bake brownies about it instead of voting at all. That said, six months is a pretty long time. As long as Clinton does not do what we all clearly fear she will, and try to keep her supporters actively opposing Obama, things just might work out.