For all of the other pressure I got from my mother to conform to this, that, or the other social standard, I never got pressure from her to marry or have kids. In fact, she always seemed happiest when I was not involved with anyone. That is more due to her own issues than to an enlightened decision to eschew the messages of the popular media; my first therapist thinks Mom's justifiable disappointment in her relationship with my father makes it difficult for her to be anything but negative about my sister or me in relationship with a man. (She thinks my sister-in-law walks on water, though. But that's about believing her son is the perfect child, so of course would choose the perfect spouse!) She even said to me, "I would rather see you struggle with being single than struggle in an unhappy marriage ( ... )