Without being able to remember (oneshot)

[qiguai]

Title: Without Being Able to Remember
Pairing: Kan/Leeu
Rating: R
Word Count: 8364
Warnings: language, violence, character death
Summary: Once upon a time there was a castle on a hill.
Notes: Written for themedpop's MV challenge. MV used: Midnight Sun.



Once upon a time there was a castle on a hill, in which three handsome fairy princes lived. These princes were beautiful and immortal, but feared by the village below. The villagers called the princes monsters, but never dared go near the castle because they knew that the secret to the princes' immortality was their blood.

Then, one day, a boy from the village decided to travel up to the top of the mountain and see for himself whether monsters or princes lived in that castle.

He never found his answer.

Through the thick stone walls, Younghak can hear a violin playing. He's not sure what time it is, or even what day it is, he's been lying in this room for so long. He hasn't slept for what feels like forever but what probably is more like two or three days, and though it's normal for his kind to not sleep often, it's very unusual for him. Sleeping every day is one of the few habits he's been able to retain from his former life after all these years.

After eighty years, it's hard to remember what it was like being human.

There's a knock on the door and a girl enters. Her short black dress is simple and lacy, her stockings sheer and perfect on her long legs and her hair and make-up are done to perfection. She's a vision of beauty, but nothing Younghak isn't used to. She falters under his gaze and backs away. "I was told to come and get you," she says in a whisper.

"Yejun?" he asks with a dry smile, knowing the answer. She nods and blushes when he approaches. He pats her head gently and kisses her hair. "Thank you for letting me know." Her blush deepens and she runs from the room and back down the dimly lit hall.

The girls usually aren't so shy, so he guesses she must be a new one. Luckily for her, he can easily guess where Yejun is waiting for him. Down the hall, up a flight of damp stairs and around a corner is Yejun's favorite spot, a small drawing room with a terrace overlooking the village below. The boy has always liked to watch.

Younghak knows that Yejun must hear him enter the room, but Yejun doesn't show it. He's busy gazing out from the terrace, his elbows on the wall and his chin in his hands. "I hate it when you do that," he sighs when Younghak joins him at the wall.

"When I do what?" he replies, smiling.

Yejun glares at him from the side. "When you disappear."

"I didn't go anywhere."

Straightening up, Yejun turns around and leans back against the wall and crosses his arms. "You went into your room and didn't make a sound for days. What would you call that?"

"Thinking," he says calmly. It's hard to hide how amusing he finds the furious look Yejun gives him in return. "Did you miss me?"

With all of his usual bluntless, Yejun says, "Of course I did." Younghak chuckles and shakes his head, but opens his arms to let Yejun hug him around the waist. "The are only three of us here, Younghak. When one's gone, it doesn't feel right."

Younghak kisses Yejun's hair, noting how different it feels from kissing that girl's hair before. Yejun is warm and comfortable in his arms, always there when Younghak comes back from his spells of... he doesn't even know what to call it. He smells floral, but Younghak would never tell him that. Better to enjoy these peaceful moments, for he knows how quickly Yejun's patience fades.

Patience is Jinchul's area of expertise, being the eldest of the three of them and the unquestioned leader. He doesn't call Younghak to his study until late the next day, when Younghak is finally able to pry Yejun off of him. "I'll come straight back afterward," he promises, though he's already missing the quiet seclusion of his room.

Unlike Jinchul and Yejun, Younghak has never set up his own set of rooms in the castle. Yejun's are on the third floor, centered around that special drawing room, and in total he occupies six rooms. Jinchul lives primarily on the first floor both for defense reasons and because he likes it there. He's the one in charge of bringing in more girls, and he's the one who is willing to deal with any strange outsiders who drift to their door.

Younghak, on the other hand, occupies only one room, which is located in the basement, or what is probably considered the dungeon. His room is dark, with no windows, but dry and has good ventilation. Most importantly, it's quiet and secluded, for neither Jinchul nor Yejun ever likes to go into dungeon. All he asks for is space to himself, and his companions gladly give it to him and never doubt his taste.

Jinchul is in his own favorite room, a huge study complete with shelves upon shelves of books. Younghak isn't sure what all of the books are, but he knows that at some point in his centuries of life, Jinchul found and read each and every one of them. The books are a visualization of a life Younghak can't even imagine.

He sets down the book he's currently reading as soon as Younghak steps through the doorway. "I'm glad you're finally back," he says with a bright smile, embracing Younghak around the shoulders and squeezing him.

"Have I missed anything?" he asks and takes a seat in one of the cushioned chairs in the study.

Jinchul rolls his eyes and places his book back on its shelf. "Of course not. Life is just as dull as it's always been."

"Makes you wonder why we choose to live this way," he laughs under his breath.

"We do because we can," Jinchul says proudly. "Besides, what choice do we really have now?"

He shifts in his seat. "We don't have a choice."

Jinchul rolls his eyes again and motions in a girl carrying a bottle of something. "You're way too cryptic, you know that? And this is coming from someone who's lived through some shit."

The girl fills a glass for Younghak and beams at the two of them. Jinchul raises his eyebrows at her and then looks at Younghak, and she nods with a small smile. Setting down the bottle, she settles into Younghak's lap and puts her arm around his neck. He kisses her cheek and nuzzles against the soft skin of her neck. "Are you new, too?" he asks her softly and she nods, squirming in his lap. He grins and looks at Jinchul. "A lot of new girls recently."

"Just this one and the one I assume you met in Yejun's rooms," he replies with a shrug. "They're sisters."

"I have a name, you know," the girl mutters, but leans closer against Younghak's chest. Younghak reaches around her and pours the contents of the bottle into a glass, holding it out for Jinchul.

Jinchul shakes his head and sets the glass down on the table. "Sorry, Hana," he says to the girl. She gives a little smug smile and Younghak squeezes her.

"I'm thinking of going for a walk tonight," Younghak says, turning to Hana. "Would you like to come with me?"

She wrinkles her nose, but her eyes are nervous. "No thanks. I just got here and all." With that, she slides back to her feet and quietly leaves the room. He meets Jinchul's eyes and the elder sighs.

"Make sure you go after dark," is all Jinchul says, getting to his feet as well and returning to his desk. Younghak takes the hint and leaves the study. Every girl comes with a story, but not all of them are willing to share.

Among the three of them, Younghak is the only one who never has something to do. Jinchul, as the eldest and the only one who has ever had contact with their kind outside the three of them, takes it upon himself to handle the correspondence with the "others." Neither Yejun nor Younghak have much interesting in these others, so it works out well for all of them. Apparently that apathy is a trait that most in their world share, but in order to have some semblance of order and harmony, groups keep in touch and sort out any disagreements as diplomatically as possible.

Jinchul's good at talking anyway.

Yejun, on the other hand, from the moment he turned, as they like to call it, decided he would dedicate his entire eternal life to healing. This probably had something to do with the fact that his family all died from the same disease which almost killed Yejun himself, which he consequently cured ten years after his death. That's how Yejun and Younghak met, with Yejun at Younghak's deathbed promising to ensure that no one else would ever die of his sickness ever again. Younghak's sickness must have been somehow less complicated than Yejun's, because Yejun cured that within a year of turning Younghak.

The two of them always manage to stay swamped with work. There's always some letter to be read and replied to, or some dispute Jinchul has to read up on to help in making a decision, and there's always a new disease for Yejun to be researching, especially with new girls joining them and reporting outbreaks in their old hometowns.

Younghak is the one cheering them on from the sidelines, awkwardly existing into perpetuity with no real purpose. He knows, at some point, there was some meaning to his life, something he wanted to do, but whatever it was, it disappeared long ago.

While Yejun is bent over his giant book, Younghak wanders around the lab (his friend's second favorite room) and touches everything he knows he shouldn't. Finally he "accidentally" sends a lass vial crashing to the floor, and Yejun's cheek twitches.

"You win," he says with an angry sigh, slamming his book closed. "I don't miss you anymore, so you can leave."

"If you're sure," Younghak says with a quick grin before taking off out the door. He nearly runs into one of the girls-- the one from earlier, Hana's sister-- and gives her an apologetic nod as he passes.

The steadily darkening sky and cool breeze drifting into the stuffy hall from a tiny cut-out window is all he can think about, calling him.

The sun has completely set behind the mountains beyond the castle by the time Younghak steps outside. He squints at the dark orange and pink sky and takes a long, deep breath. Being outside, surrounded by trees, birds, animals, even insects, and breathing the same air as the living-- though he lost the need to decades ago-- is enough to fool his senses into thinking he's alive again, even if just for a few hours. Still, gazing up at the tiny specks of early evening stars, he misses the feel of sun on his skin.

Not that he can't go out into the sun whenever he wants. The rumor about their kind bursting into flame in the daylight is, of course, false, and perpetuated by superstitious humans. Going out during the day is forbidden for far more practical reasons. The less humans see of them, the less likely they will be to catch on that Younghak and his friends happen to never age. There are three codes by which they've agreed to live, and the first states that human contact is to remain limited, if not utterly avoided, so all such desires for daylight must be pushed aside, and Younghak is thankful for what he has.

At least the stars are nice. He smiles to himself and begins his usual path around the outside of the castle. He never dares to go very far away from the walls, because the humans from the village below use these woods as hunting grounds. The leaves crackling under his boots tell him it's autumn, which means it's been weeks since he last left the castle. Time has a way of fast-forwarding before he realizes it.

There's a rustling from the bushes and a small white rabbit darts across his path, nearly slamming into the stone wall before turning and running past Younghak. He can hear something else, something much larger, barreling through the woods after it. That something comes crashing out of the bushes, landing face-first in Younghak's worn dirt path, making him take a step back in surprise.

There's a loud grunt and it rolls over onto its back, revealing dirty, but otherwise good quality clothing covered with a thick wool cloak. Black bangs fall into the boy's eyes as they widen, his mouth falling open. "What are you doing here?" a breathless voice asks him, sitting up and brushing off his pants. He looks around and scratches his head. "Did you see a rabbit run by here?"

Younghak, speechless, nods and points back behind him. The boy looks around and sighs heavily before asking again, "So what're you doing here?"

"I... live... here," he mumbles.

The boy looks up at the towering stone wall beside them and cocks his head. "Here?" He nods to himself and looks ready to ask something else when a low groan interrupts him. Grabbing his stomach, the boy blushes furiously and tries to laugh it off. "You really should have grabbed that rabbit," he chides, flashing Younghak a perfectly white grin before shoving himself to his feet. After casting one more regretful glance behind Younghak, he shrugs and motions to Younghak to follow as he heads back into the brush. When Younghak doesn't follow, Seunghyun calls back over his shoulder in a childish, sing-song voice, "If you don't come with me, I'll scream."

It's an empty threat, Younghak knows that, but he follows after the strange boy anyway, if only to avoid having to explain to Jinchul why a human happened to start screaming during Younghak's walk.

The boy leads them into a small clearing a ways down the mountain. A small, rather pathetic fire is about to go out and the boy hurries to save it while Younghak glances around apprehensively. Following a human away from the castle, closer and closer to the village, definitely does not count as avoiding contact, and it's all he can do to keep himself from bolting. He does have pride, after all.

Besides, there's nothing even remotely threatening about the boy. He's young, not a teenager but not a man yet, of average height with a round, kind face and a voice that Younghak can't imagine ever spoke a lie. Why he's convinced of this after knowing the boy for mere minutes, he has no clue.

Meanwhile the boy sits down in front of the fire and warms his hands, the chilly air around them freezing his breath. "Want to sit?" he offers, but Younghak shakes his head.

"What do you want?" he demands in his sternest voice, but says it so quietly the boy has to strain to hear.

Giving Younghak another bright smile, he shrugs. "I'm curious about something, but you'll think I'm crazy if I ask."

As crazy as three immortal men living together in a castle for centuries? Younghak doubts it. "I can't stay around here for long. Ask."

"Abrupt, aren't you?" the boy mutters, the faintest pout on his lips. "Fine, I'll ask, but first I want you to sit down." Younghak crosses his arms and the boy gives an exasperated laugh. "Is sitting down going to kill you or something?"

No, it definitely won't, and the thought brings a small smile to Younghak's face. The boy takes that as agreement and gestures toward to spot across the fire. Younghak hesitates, but takes his chosen set eventually. When was the last time he sat outside, around a fire?

The words escape from the boy's mouth as soon as Younghak sits down, as if under extreme pressure. "Are you a fairy prince?"

"Excuse me?" Younghak squeaks, holding in a laugh. The boy blushes red right up to the tips of his ears.

"Please forget I asked!" he cries and hides his face in his hands. For this poor kid's sake, Younghak doesn't laugh, but he enjoys the way the boy buries his face in his arms and laughs at himself, obviously utterly humiliated but at the same time used to it. It's kind of cute. "It's just," he continues after a moment, glancing up at Younghak sheepishly, "in my village, there's a story we tell about that castle." The both look up at the imposing, shadowed figure above the trees. Even after all these years, Younghak finds it impressive. "They say that three fairy princes live up there, who will grant wishes to lost children. They say the princes are immortal."

He turns to Younghak and his eyes shine with an odd energy, electric. It's infectious, and Younghak smirks. "Do really want to know what I am?" he asks in a dramatic whisper. The boy nods, his lips curling over his perfect white teeth in a mischievous smile. "I'm a vampire."

He waits for the boy to get up and run, or laugh, or scoff and Younghak can finally take his leave. Instead, he blinks once, twice, very slowly, before whispering back in awe, "That makes a whole lot more sense. Fairies don't like castles."

Younghak bursts out laughing, feeling slightly guilty when his companion blushes again but unable to stop. He falls over onto his side and rolls in the dirt. Leaves stick in his hair and he knows Yejun will make fun of him later for his filthy clothes, but he doesn't care. When he takes a breath after what feels like forever, the boy is now sitting next to him, his arms folded and features angry and yet happy at the same time.

"What the hell is so funny?" he demands.

"I n-never knew... boys were so interested in f-fairies," he half-laughs, half sobs. With the boy's help he sits back up, still chuckling but at least able to breathe.

"Now I know you're not a fairy; fairies aren't assholes." Despite himself, the boy grins and laughs a little. "Are you really a vampire, though?"

Younghak nods and takes a deep breath.

"You drink blood?" Another nod. "Are vampires usually so open about these things?"

The skeptical glance doesn't faze him. "We don't usually have the opportunity to be."

Silence follows, and Younghak wonders if he should go. Either because of all that laughing or for some entirely different reason, though, he can't will himself to move. He's glued to his seat next to a human boy who is staring up at the sky, thoughtful, and chewing his full bottom lip. "So," the boy says quietly, "do you ever grant wishes? You know, to lost children?"

Younghak shrugs. "In a way. Orphaned or abused girls sometimes wander up here, probably because of that story, and we take them in."

"Only girls?" The boy looks at him, his eyes oddly tired and sad, when before they were so happy.

Younghak smiles awkwardly and forces a choked laugh. "Well, I suppose not many boys would follow a fairy tale." The boy laughs, just as awkward, while Younghak watches in fascination. "Why? Are you lost?"

"You could say that," he says dryly.

The sarcastic look in the boy's eyes decides it. Younghak with a slight grunt gets to his feet and pulls the boy up to. "Well then, let's go." The boy's hand held tightly in his, Younghak treks back through the woods to the castle.

"Are you sure this is okay?" They run into a few girls on their way through the front hall, but Younghak nods to each of them and moves on as if nothing is wrong. Meanwhile the boy is clinging to his arm and gazing at everything in stunned wonder, with just a little fear in his eyes.

"I have no idea," he replies, nervous as well but enjoying the odd thrill that he may be breaking a serious rule.

"Very comforting."

They barely make it down the main corridor when Hana steps out and stops them, smiling and winking at Younghak. "Jinchul says he wants to talk to you about your new friend."

"He's faster than I thought," he sighs and shoves the boy toward her. "Do me a favor and hide him in my room?"

Hana gives him a sharp glare, but takes the boy by the arm and leads him away. Younghak makes a silent promise to do something really nice for her later in return. All he knows is that he's not sure he wants Yejun to find out about this just yet. Better to handle his friends one at a time.

He finds Jinchul in the usual spot, hidden behind the stacks of books on his desk. Younghak doesn't sit down, but fidgets in the doorway until finally his friend looks up. "Who is he?" Jinchul asks after giving Younghak a quick, apathetically dignified glance.

"He's from the village," Younghak replies sullenly. "He has nowhere else to go!"

"So you thought you could bring him here?"

In any other situation, Younghak would rather die a slow, painful death than argue with Jinchul. Not only is he older, more experienced and far, far more educated, he is the person Younghak believes he can trust to always make the best decisions. This time, Younghak finds himself stepping, albeit meekly, up to the desk and stuttering back, "But we take in the girls, who are alone and have no place to go. I don't see the difference."

Jinchul looks up at Younghak, and to Younghak's surprise, smiles. A knowing glint in his eyes makes Younghak start to sweat. "You make a good point. He can stay."

"What?" Younghak practically squeaks. Jinchul laughs and gets to his feet, walking around the desk to pat Younghak on the arm.

"Make sure to introduce me to him sometime," he says. "As long as he doesn't cause any trouble, I see no reason he can't join us." Younghak's chest swells happily and he's about to run out of the room when Jinchul adds, "Yejun has to agree to it, too."

"Absolutely not."

Yejun bends over a vial of some liquid Younghak probably can't even pronounce the name of and doesn't look up when he answers. He leaves the table and walks out of the lab, Younghak following him into the study. "You expect me to agree to let some stranger live with us?" To be honest, Younghak expects nothing of the sort. He knows all too well that Yejun is an utterly rational being who needs a complete flow of logic to accept any kind of conclusion. Give him sporadic desire, a sudden impulse, and he'll laugh in your face. There is no "in the moment" for beings who live hundreds of years.

He has one chance to make this work-- battle logic with logic. "What about the girls?" Younghak insists.

"They're helpless, alone, often from abusive homes," Yejun replies carefully, knowing exactly where Younghak plans to go with his argument. "From what you tell me this boy doesn't sound very helpless or abused. He was fully clothed, nicely clothed and no signs of physical harm." He pauses and folds his arms. "What was his name again?"

The look that flashes through Yejun's eyes when Younghak can't answer is deadly. "No, no, absolutely not!"

Luckily, Younghak has lived with Yejun long enough to know exactly what ratio of pathetic begging to merciless pestering to use such that, in exactly one hour and twelve minutes, Yejun relents. Logic can only hold out so long against pure, deluded determination.

"If anything happens, remember that it's all your fault." Younghak pulls his best friend into a twirling bear hug and skips out of the room.

A disgruntled boy is waiting for Younghak in the hall outside Younghak's room when he finally makes his way there. Younghak opens his mouth, but the boy answers him before he has to ask: "It was way too creepy in there."

"It's not creepy," Younghak says with a bit of a pout.

"There are cobwebs, no lights and no windows. That's the definition of creepy." His sarcastic smile contains just a hint of pity. "If I had my choice, I'd be in the sun.

And Younghak silently swears that, no matter what, this boy will be.

The next morning Younghak and the boy, who turns out to be named Seunghyun, pick out a room in the sun. Light fills the room through open, floor-length windows, shining on the one, lonely object in the room, a tired, unused globe of the world. This is the first time Younghak has ever been in this part of the castle, an amazing fact considering he's lived there for fifty years. Seunghyun steps into the dusty room and puts his hands on his hips.

"This is it."

"This is what?" Younghak replies, only partially paying attention. The dust in distracting and he fights his instinct to start cleaning.

Seunghyun rolls his eyes, but Younghak is beginning to get used to his new companion's sarcastic ways. "This is it. I want to stay here."

Frowning, Younghak scoots a few scattered dry leaves into a pile with his foot before turning to the curtains. What color could they be beneath that thick layer of gray? "Here?" is all he says. One swipe of his hand reveals a dark, forest green velvet.

Seunghyun grabs Younghak by the arms and drags him away from the curtains. They stand in the center of the room, Seunghyun drumming his fingers on the abandoned globe and nodding to himself.

It takes them all day and a good portion of that night to drag furniture, all presumably once belonging to whomever inhabited the castle before Jinchul, out of the storage rooms on the lowest floors to Seunghyun's chosen place on the third highest. At first Younghak refuses to help, worrying that they're stealing, but Seunghyun manages to convince him of the opposite in record time. The boy has a natural flair for talking, opposite of Younghak's own stunted attempts, and his words carry a persuasive weight Younghak can't deny.

Younghak almost forgets Seunghyun's humanity in the process. When Seunghyun starts panting heavily and sweat pours down his neck, Younghak stares in wonder, confused. Midnight approaches and Younghak feigns exhaustion as best he can, which turns out to be rather poorly. Seunghyun gives him a knowing glare, but he collapses onto the ground and sighs in appreciation.

"This is going to take a few days," Younghak murmurs, smiling to himself. "Looks like you're stuck in the dungeon with me until then." Seunghyun fakes a sob and beats his hands on the wooden floor.

They choose to lie on the cold, stone floor that night, staring into the darkness of Younghak's chosen cell with a bottle of wine between them. Seunghyun offers the drink to Younghak a few times, but he only takes a few sips. Seunghyun drains the remainder of the bottle with blissful eyes.

"So is this what you do all day?" he says, stifling a yawn with his arm. "Sit around and drink?"

"I don't drink often," Younghak replies. "Mostly I think."

Seunghyun rolls over onto his stomach, leaning on his arms. Even in the pitch darkness Younghak can see those round eyes mocking him. "You have literally all the time in the world, and you spend it thinking."

Had it been a question, Younghak would reply, but it isn't so he shrugs and returns to staring at the ceiling. "There's a lot to think about."

"Like these girls you surround yourself with?" He laughs disgustingly and jabs Younghak in the shoulder, but Younghak frowns and shakes his head.

It's like talking to a child. "Don't even think about it," he grumbles. Without even looking, he grabs the bottle from Seunghyun's greedy hands and refuses to give it back. "I'm serious. Most of these girls would kick your ass."

"Wait," Seunghyun says with his arms still outreached for the bottle, "so you guys aren't, you know, involved with them?" He pokes at Younghak's side and tickles until Younghak shoves the bottle back into Seunghyun's welcoming arms.

"They're like children," he explains, not that he expects Seunghyun to listen. "We let them live here and do what they want, and they eventually wander off and lead their own lives." Even to him, it sounds shady, but it's the truth. Countless girls have came into their lives only to leave years later, when they're ready to move on and live real lives. Sometimes they don't tell anyone they're leaving, they disappear in the quiet of the night. Sometimes Younghak never learns their names. This boy next to him is the most he's spoken to a human since he changed, including all of these girls.

This boy, who, at the moment, is suckling on the empty wine bottle like an infant. "Do you think of me as a child?" he as, deep in thought.

Younghak chuckles at the irony. "Even more so than the girls."

That must not go over too well with Seunghyun, because he grunts and rolls over onto his side, facing away from Younghak. After a few minutes Younghak can hear the light snoring that means it's time to go. Not even a bit tired, he gets to his feet and, after dropping a blanket over the sleeping human's form, goes out for a walk.

In three days they have Seunghyun's room complete. The curtains on the windows are a watery blue velvet now, and only the ancient globe remains of what the room used to be. Seunghyun chooses to keep it as a memento. But now there are priceless Persian carpets, a huge ornate mahogany bed with silk sheets and a satin coverlet. Beautifully carved chairs sit at a small, equally exquisite table upon which sits an ivory chess set, a treasure dug up from the depths of the castle. Everything is hand-picked by Seunghyun and put in its rightful place by Seunghyun, but to Younghak it feels like home.

Simply being with Seunghyun feels like home. Even during his gloomiest moods, Younghak finds himself drawn out by Seunghyun's melodic, genuinely joyful voice. The boy finds happiness everywhere: in the clouds they can see out his windows, in the tiniest engraving in a piece of woodwork, in the cheapest bottle of wine. When Seunghyun's happy, Younghak feels happy, which these days is always. Perpetual sunshine from perpetually blinding smiles.

Despite all of their long, often meandering conversations, Seunghyun refuses to reveal anything about himself. His lips seal tight and his eyes look troubled. Younghak changes the subject. All he needs is more smiles, no explanations are necessary.

That night they spend once again on the floor with Seunghyun's favorite wine, but instead of hard stone it's plush carpet. Younghak's dark, empty cell feels worlds away.

"I don't understand you," Seunghyun mumbles, chewing on his lip. Younghak sits up and peers at his friend, but Seunghyun continues to stare away. "You can do anything you want, everything you want, but you sit here in this castle and help me decorate a stupid room."

He looks around the room, confusion creasing his forehead. "It turned out well."

The empty bottle flies across the room and smashes against the wall. Younghak doesn't flinch, but his jaw tightens, and Seunghyun gets to his feet and starts to pace an agitated circle around the room. "Do you have any idea what it's like out there, in the human world?" He flashes an angry look out the window and pauses. "We have no choices. We're given decades to live and yet our entire lives are dictated for us!" He whirls around and points a finger at Younghak. "Meanwhile you, with infinite years and infinite possibilities, waste it in this ugly castle doing absolutely nothing." Lines crease the corners of Seunghyun's eyes and his eyes are bloodshot. His jaw tightens and relaxes uncontrollably as he kneels down and grabs Younghak by the sides of the face. "Are you stupid?"

"Yejun says, when he first saw me, I looked dumb enough to want to live forever," he croaks, cracking a weak smile. A sharp, dry laugh escapes Seunghyun as he visibly surrenders, sinking to his knees. He looks lost and Younghak just wants him to smile again. Instinct makes him take Seunghyun by the arms and pull him against his chest. He pats Seunghyun's head like he'd pat one of the girls, with an intimacy he knows doesn't suit them. "A long time ago," he says, mostly to break the silence as Seunghyun remains limp in his arms, "I thought I would travel. Go everywhere. See everything there is to see and then start again and see what's changed."

Seunghyun pulls away and stares, their faces dangerously close but his eyes are focused somewhere else. "Why didn't you?"

He shrugs. "I'm comfortable here. I help Jinchul and Yejun when I can, but I like it here. Away from them I'm not sure who I'd be."

Excitement lights up Seunghyun's eyes and he squeezes Younghak's hands. "Then take me with you," he whispers.

Younghak brushes Seunghyun's hands away and forces a smile. "You can't stay with me that long, Seunghyun. You're going to age, and then-" His voice breaks, from emotion or from his suddenly dry mouth. Somehow he'd never realized that Seunghyun would die someday.

"But I don't have to, right?" Seunghyun's mouth twitches and his voice borders on hysterical. "You can keep me from ever dying, from ever having any limits!" Crawling back across to Younghak, Seunghun puts his arms, heavy and painful, around Younghak's neck and forces their mouths together.

"You're a complete idiot," he mutters harshly against Seunghyun's mouth and shoves the boy away, probably hurting him but not caring as he storms out of the room.

"I don't see why you shouldn't," Yejun says, distracted by whatever he's looking at through his microscope. Younghak groans, head in hands, seated in one of the chairs a safe distance away from the laboratory table. "You hate being alone, but you have no reason to stay here, right?"

He nods. Pain threatens to split his brain in two.

"Then you need someone to go with you, someone who similarly is looking for a place in the world." He sighs and straightens up, snapping his gloves off and returning to the stack of notebooks on the table behind him. "You just get in the way here, anyway."

"Thanks a lot," he grumbles. "If I'm so useless you should never have changed me in the first place."

The thoughtful nod he gets in return worsens the blinding pain. "I didn't know back then you'd be so... aimless." He smiles to himself and turns to Younghak seriously. "You were young, dying, and with one look I could tell that there was so much more you could do if you had the time. So, I gave you that time. It's not my fault you chose to follow me around."

"My point exactly," Younghak says, getting to his feet and wincing at the bright sunlight leaking through Yejun's curtains. "I was dying, with no hope of recovery, so you saved me. According to the second vampiric code, only those destined for death can be turned."

"Technically, yes," a voice from the doorway interrupts. Younghak's face flushes and he sits back down and massages his temples. Jinchul, arms crossed, enters the room and pulls the curtains closed all the way. "You haven't fed in a long time, have you?"

Well, that explains the pain. He groans in answer.

"No wonder you can't think clearly," Jinchul chuckles, but it's kind and soothing. A cold hand touches Younghak's feverish forehead and he hears a faint "tch" sound. "At least this way you'll be solving two problems at once."

"You think I should do this?" he glances up at Jinchul, who smiles and ruffles Younghak's hair.

"If this is what you want, do it." With that, he gives Yejun a small nod and exits as quietly as he came.

Another ripple of pain sends Younghak back into his hands. The answer hovers just there, within his sights and yet clouded by his incessant confusion. Yejun presses a few pills into his hands. "To hold you over until you can decide," he says quietly, and Younghak squeezes his friend's hand in a silent thank you.

Seunghyun is sitting on the edge of his bed, in much the same position as Younghak was earlier, when Younghak knocks lightly on the door before entering. It's only been two days since they had been here, lazing about on the floor and thinking of nothing more complicated than what they should do tomorrow. Tonight the room feels different, estranged. The windows are full of black shadows. The only light in the room comes from a single lamp on Seunghyun's table.

At first Seunghyun doesn't move. Younghak clears his throat and Seunghyun glances up, his eyes shifting in agitation. When Younghak steps forward, Seunghyun rises sharply to his feet. He totters and refuses to meet Younghak's eyes.

"Seunghyun."

He looks up and must see something in Younghak's expression, because he smiles. He looks frightened.

"Are you sure about this?" Younghak doesn't trust himself to say anything else. Seunghyun opens his mouth and pauses, a flood of words cut off before they can begin. Instead he nods.

Younghak takes a deep breath, crosses the room and, a firm arm around around Seunghyun's waist as the boy's eyes scrunch closed and his arms stiffen at his sides, sinks his teeth into the boy's throat.

The process of changing from human to vampire takes a month's time. The first week the new vampire spends unconscious. During this time the "virus," as Yejun calls it, takes its time entering and infecting every single cell of the body. The second week, the vampire regains consciousness but is in a weakened state, often unable to move. The third week he or she begins to struggle with their new instincts. Hearing becomes amplified, resulting in disorientation and, mixed with suddenly enhanced sight, migraines. This is the most dangerous time for them to be around humans, because their body starts to crave its new source of energy, and they can't control it. Death only occurs in the fourth week. Organs shut down one by one, starting with the lungs and ending with the heart.

Three days into the first week of Seunghyun's change, Younghak is pacing in front of the bedroom door when someone lightly touches his arm. In his distraction, he almost doesn't recognize her.

"I need to tell you something," Hana says in an urgent whisper. He tries to wave her off, but she grabs him by the arm and holds him in place. "Something is wrong." The panic in her voice and eyes is enough to get Younghak to agree to walk a bit down the hall, slipping into one of the empty rooms. The girl wrings her hands but stands firm.

"Seunghyun lied to you," she croaks. Tears well up in her eyes but she wills them away.

Younghak shakes his head. "I don't have time for this."

"A mob is forming in the village!" she calls out to him as he begins to walk away. He turns around and she continues quietly, "I heard them talking about it yesterday when some of us went into town for supplies. At first I didn't pay much attention. They were talking about some nobleman's son who disappeared. But then they mentioned the castle and I started listening." She bites her lip and her eyes beg Younghak to believe her. "Seunghyun ran away from home, but some villagers saw him making his way up here. They think you've kidnapped him!" Her voice breaks. Younghak can feel his hands shaking.

Hana goes to the door and peeks outside. "I'm going to tell Jinchul and Yejun." Before he can stop her, she disappears outside.

When he returns to the room, Seunghyun is sitting up in bed and turning to get out. "I feel odd," he says with a tired laugh. Younghak rushes to the bed and forces him to stay lying down.

"You shouldn't be awake," he says, worried but distracted. "You shouldn't be able to move!" He moves away from the bed in exasperation and grabs at his head. The blood he took from Seunghyun nights ago has long alleviated his pain, but this headache is from something else.

"That must be a good sign, right?" Seunghyun sounds worried. Younghak glances at him and feels a pang of guilt at the imploring look in the boy's eyes. The bruise is still dark on the side of his neck.

Sitting on the side of the bed, Younghak pats Seunghyun's head. "You lied to me. You ran away."

Seunghyun flinches. "But that doesn't matter at this point, does it?"

"They're coming for you. Here."

A cool breeze rustles the curtains as Younghak stares outside. Over the tops of the trees the sky begins to turn dark red, glowing in the distance. Soon it will be dawn and the humans will come. "I just wanted-" He balls his fists in the coverlet and looks away. Younghak leaves the room.

Jinchul is waiting for him when Younghak timidly steps into the first floor study. He motions for Younghak to sit at their usual table and offers his friend a warm smile. "I already know," he says before Younghak can ask.

"I-I'm so sorry, Jinchul, I-" he stammers, feeling tears in his eyes and he doesn't bother hiding them.

Jinchul smirks wryly. "Something was bound to happen. We've been living here far too long." Younghak stares at his friend and fights the urge to fall to his knees and beg forgiveness. "It's not like we don't ave a plan for situations like these. When Yejun changed you, we had our bags packed for an entire year in case some distant relative came asking questions. Yejun is already preparing to leave."

"I wasn't thinking," Younghak breathes.

A warm hand touches his from across the table. "For the first time since I met you," Jinchul adds.

Younghak smiles bitterly. "I've ruined everything."

"Sometimes we have to destroy something good to make way for something even better."

But somehow Younghak doubts that what he's created is any better. He nods sullenly and rises, letting Jinchul pat his shoulder and murmur a few more encouraging phrases, but Younghak doesn't hear any of them.

From outside the door Younghak can hear Seunghyun moving frantically within the room. The boy doesn't notice when Younghak enters. He's sifting through his drawers, tossing clothing onto the bed that only became his weeks ago. Despite his physical condition, Seunghyun lurches around the room. Sweat pours from his brow and his hair is a mess. His breathing is labored. All he's managed to do is pull on a pair of trousers and he's completely spent. Nonetheless, he keeps trying to sort through the mess of clothing forming on his bed.

Younghak takes him by the shoulders and sets him down onto the bed. Seunghyun grunts but doesn't fight, letting Younghak take up the task of finding him a shirt. He holds out his arms while Younghak pulls one over his shoulders. Younghak carefully buttons it and wipes Seunghyun's face with a discarded scrap of cloth.

"Yejun came by," he mumbles at his lap. "He says we're leaving in a few hours so I thought I should get ready. I didn't know how long you'd be gone." Or if you were even coming back, his eyes say. With his flushed cheeks and tired eyes, he looks just like a child. From the very beginning, Seunghyun had been nothing but a child.

A child who chose death without knowing how to live.

"My father was going to send me off to school," he continues when Younghak remains silent. He pulls his knees up to his chest and rocks, slowly. "I was going to be a doctor, he said. Or at least study rhetoric and run the town when he passed away. He introduced me to this girl," he cuts off with a laugh, running a hand through his sweaty hair. "She was pretty, but he said we were going to be married." He looks to Younghak with desperate eyes. "I didn't want any of it."

"You don't make this kind of decision to escape, Seunghyun," Younghak replies, closing his eyes. Seunghyun lunges forward and grabs Younghak by the waist, throwing them both off balance with his awkward weight.

"But it's too late now," he says in a breathless rush. "It's done and Yejun says we'll go somewhere else, somewhere better. My father may chase us for a while but he'll stop eventually."

"He'll stop when he dies," Younghak corrects over Seunghyun's babbling.

Seunghyun stops talking. There are mere hours remaining before they need to evacuate the castle. Jinchul is probably giving the girls their directions and Yejun is probably still packing. He doesn't like to leave anything behind. So many years went into his research.

The boy in his arms squeezes him, seeking comfort. He's warm and heavy, and Younghak can imagine the father anxiously waiting for his son to return. The beautiful young girl crying her eyes out because she believes her fiancée has been kidnapped. Seunghyun is the sun, pulling these people into his orbit and threatening to consume them all. Now Younghak is pulled in, too, and there's nothing he can do about it.

"It's not too late," he whispers against Seunghyun's hair, but the boy doesn't hear him. He grabs a velvet jacket from the pile of clothes, Seunghyun's favorite, and pulls it around his shoulders. "We're heading out now," he says firmly.

Seunghyun smiles and nods, his eyes blank but obedient. "What about Yejun and Jinchul?"

They don't need to be pulled in, too. "We're going to distract the mob so the others can get away. We can always find them again later."

His words are enough for Seunghyun, who moves slowly across the room to his boots.

A searing throbbing in his chest makes Younghak gasp and double over. Seunghyun doesn't notice as Younghak grabs for the bed to support himself. He takes deep breaths, for once actually needing them, and laughs silently as he steadies his long-dead heart.

Nearly all of Seunghyun's strength is gone by the time they reach the edge of the forest. It doesn't matter, for Younghak can hear distant shouts and angry calls. Seunghyun must hear them, too, because his eyes are alert as he leans against Younghak and forces himself to keep moving. "I'm sorry," Seunghyun whispers.

"You're doing just fine," he replies, holding the boy tight. "We'll be there soon."

Through the maze of trees, the sharp branches slapping at their faces, they stumble over rocks and shrubs. They avoid nearing the main path, but the entire way the sounds of the mob grow closer and closer. A dog howls and Younghak involuntarily tenses. They've been found. Younghak quickens the pace while Seunghyun's breathing gets ragged. When he can hear approaching footsteps, he helps Seunghyun to his feet and looks the boy straight in the eye.

"The only way we'll make it is if you run," he says. "Run, now." Seunghyun hesitates, his eyes hazy and not understanding anything except his own exhaustion. "Run that way as fast as you can for as long as you can. When you can't run anymore, stop. I'll find you once I get them off your path. Understand?" Seunghyun swallows and nods.

The last image Younghak has of the boy is his retreating, hunched over form through the trees.

The voices and howls are close now. Younghak can smell the smoke of torches and the stink of the angry dogs. When the first man steps through the trees, Younghak raises his arms in surrender and smirks. Even with his thinning hair and wrinkled face, he can see Seunghyun's features. A dozen more men join Seunghyun's father, dogs in tow, and they create a circle around their prey.

"Where is my son?" the first man growls, brandishing his torch.

A shudder threatens to break Younghak's resolve. Over the din of these men and their animals he can't hear Seunghyun anymore. Maybe he's already collapsed somewhere, half-dead and faithfully waiting for Younghak to save him. Don't worry, you'll be found soon.

With a hellish cackle, Younghak bares his sharp canines and spits, "I killed him."

The old man's eyes narrow, and he gives the slightest of nods before a horrible tearing sensation grips Younghak's gut. He looks down and three, bloodied pitchfork tips poke through his flesh. The burning sensation rises into his throat and out his mouth, he coughs up blood. Darkness gathers around the edges of his vision. His heart gives one last impossible beat as he falls to his knees. Blood splatters across the grass, either from his mouth or from the pitchfork which rips back out of him from behind.

He uses the last of his energy to lift one finger in the direction Seunghyun had run before toppling face-first onto the ground. Somewhere in the distance, lonely and young, like a lost child, he imagines he can hear Seunghyun singing to himself, waiting.

Sometimes we have to destroy something good to make way for something even better. The third code of their kind is more like instructions, a last resort with no guarantee of success: to stop from changing, one must kill that which started the process.

The boy returned to the village. He married a beautiful girl, had four beautiful children and led a successful life. No one could ever get him to tell the story of what took place in that castle on top of the mountain.

The village forever believed those princes to be monsters, but he continued telling the story of the fairy princes in their castle in the sky, who granted one boy his wish and went on their way.