How to Train Your Space Pirate (oneshot)

[qiguai]

Title: How to Train Your Space Pirate
Pairing: Soohyun/Kiseob
Word count: 8668
Rating: PG
Warning(s): mild language and kooky space shenanigans
Summary: In which Soohyun talks to rocks and Kiseob burns a whole lot of bacon.
Notes: Written for thundersquall for kissmesanta. First off, I apologize because I highly doubt this is what you wanted/expected out of a sci-fi AU, but I got addicted to the idea and ran with it. This AU is loosely inspired by the anime Tenchi Muyo!, and edges very close to crack at times, but I hope you find it kind of fun. :) Merry Christmas, Sheena! ♥



Soohyun moves in with his grandfather when he's eleven, exactly three weeks and two days after his mother passes away. The funeral is small and simple because they don't have much family to invite, and they're a quiet, close-nit little family. It's at the funeral that Soohyun first meets this grandfather of his, who regards Soohyun with a sullen nod and round, red-rimmed eyes that glaze over as he stares at the small photograph of his daughter on the altar.

What he learns is that his grandfather is a Buddhist monk, that he's just as quiet as his daughter and that he has always loathed Soohyun's father. As the old man's eyes pass over him, Soohyun even at that age can sense him picking out every detail that is not like his mother-- and thus, must be inherited from his father-- with obvious disdain.

"She was perfect," the old man sighs, and Soohyun takes that as his welcome.

For any normal teenage boy, living with a Buddhist monk would be a blessing. His grandfather is rarely home more than three days at a time, traveling around blessing sites and performing rituals in neighboring villages. Their home sits a few miles away from a small village which is already in the middle of nowhere, so really they live on the outskirts of the middle of nowhere. This means that Soohyun has to bike an hour both ways to pick up groceries for the two of them, and two and a half hours every day to get to school.

The mothers in the village wave to him as he passes and feed him snacks on his way home, calling him "such a good boy" as he bows politely to each of them. They all know his grandfather well, and more importantly know that the monk isn't the most nurturing of individuals. Soohyun can sense their worry and tries to alleviate it with his smiles and constant good behavior. He does little chores for the families for no pay when he's young, and gets a job in a small noodle shop when he's in high school. The girls from his school can often be found crowding into the small building as he beams at each and every one of them while taking their orders.

He may not get much attention from his grandfather, but the old man shows his affection in his own way, like how he helps Soohyun buy a motorcycle for his seventeenth birthday. Soohyun doesn't cause any problems, and that's all the old man asks.

Absolutely everyone loves Soohyun, and really, he's happy. Life is simple and peaceful, and it shows no signs of taking any turn for the worse. What more could he ask for?

Their house is settled in the middle of the woods and is quite large despite their modest income. According to his grandfather, the house and the land surrounding it has belonged to their family for generations, and there are countless stories tied to the land. Soohyun's favorite story of all involves a rock-- a very large rock that sits deep in the forest on the farthest Southern edge of their land.

The locals refer to it as the "Demon Stone," and calling it huge would be an understatement. When Soohyun first sees it, he looks up to try and find the top and nearly falls over from a dizzy spell. The perfectly round, smooth rock is the size of a small mountain, and as one would expect, the villagers believe it to be cursed. Centuries ago the village was attacked by a fierce demon who shot fire from his eyes and nearly destroyed the village. Before he could, a powerful sorcerer descended from the Heavens, wreathed in a golden glow. He defeated the demon with a single blow and sealed him inside the giant rock for all eternity.

Well, that's how the legend goes, at least.

What matters to Soohyun, at least when he's a child, is that his grandfather forbids him from going anywhere near the rock. Naturally, he becomes determined to spend as much time there as possible. At age thirteen in one of his many attempts to conquer the rock, he falls and breaks his clavicle, and he has to walk the entire way back in tears, but he doesn't dare tell his grandfather how it really happened.

As he matures and the thrill of the forbidden wears off, the rock becomes his secret place, an isolated zone only for himself. He brings his textbooks out there with him and falls asleep at its base, the leaves in the trees above rustling in the breeze. In the winter he builds a snowman in front of it, then builds an entire snow family. When his first girlfriend dumps him for never having time for her, he runs directly to the rock and cries his eyes out. Hugging his knees tight to his chest, he starts to ramble on and on about all of the things he liked about her, what he wished he'd said to her, where he wanted to take her someday.

He knows it's an odd habit, maybe even a little unhealthy, but he starts talking to the rock more and more. It becomes a ritual to tell it anything exciting that happens to him, from good grades to an eccentric customer who wanders into the noodle shop and shares a funny story. He knows he's turning into some kind of freak just for thinking it, but a lot of the time he gets this feeling which he dares not put into words.

Sometimes, he swears it's listening, and one day, quite by accident, he finds out he's not as crazy as he thinks.

"I'll be gone for two weeks," his grandfather says to Soohyun as he cleans up breakfast. The old man slides on his shoes and with a small smile and a nod, leaves the house. Soohyun rolls his shoulders and continues to wash the dishes. As he hums a song he heard on the radio at work the other day, he runs through his to-do list for the day: sweep the front step, wash and hang out the laundry, go to the grocery store, and he should probably start on his homework. Stifling a yawn, he peeks out the kitchen window and smiles-- perfect weather.

He leans back and closes his eyes, folding his arms comfortably across his chest. His textbook is open across his lap, but he hasn't read a single word in the two hours he's been sitting out here. The sun is warm on his face, and the Demon Stone fits the curve of his back perfectly. The world could be crumbling around him and he would be blissfully unaware, and glad for it. Out here, where no one could ever find him, he can forget his daunting list of chores and pretend that he really is the only person in the entire world. His cheek twitches. It would be kind of nice to share this spot with someone. Maybe.

Something drips onto his cheek and he automatically wipes it away. Above, dark clouds have gathered in the open spaces between the branches, scattered with threatening flashes of lightning. A crack of thunder and the rain quickens, and far too late Soohyun remembers his textbook. He curses and shoves it into his backpack, spreading the damage to whatever papers and books are inside. The rain is soaking through his t-shirt and his shoes squish as he pushes himself to his feet. Lightning flashes as he takes a look back to see if he's forgotten anything, and the Demon Stone has never looked so huge, so threatening. He shivers in the wet cold and starts running, slipping in the slick grass.

Another flash of lightning is followed by a shattering crack, but the sound echoes strangely. It reverberates as if it reaches the center of the Earth, and Soohyun feels the tremors reach his core. Dread paralyzes his legs and forces him to look back one last time. Starting at the very top of the rock, running in a jagged, angry line down it's front, is a crack. It gapes at him in a kind of arrogant grin with its hairline fractures branching out from its center.

Soohyun gulps and shivers, but not from the cold. He wills his feet to move again and doesn't dare stop moving until he's in his foyer, pulling off his shoes and trying desperately to regain control of his breathing. His heart feels ready to burst, it's beating so hard.

When he wakes up to a bright, cheerful sky complete with fluffy clouds and serenading birds on his sill, Soohyun thinks it must have all been a dream. He sighs in relief, showers and dresses for school, only to find the lawn littered with broken branches and other debris. So much for his dream theory. He locks the door behind him and heads to the garage, casting a nervous glance into the woods as he kicks leaves and twigs out of his way. He tries to ignore the foreboding nagging in the back of his brain as he hops on his motorcycle and drives off to school.

But it's all he can think about during school. He gets yelled at by all of his teachers, and even his friends set him up by throwing paper wads at the back of his head when he's spacing out. He ends up spending most of the day in the hall, "repenting." When school finally ends, though, he's the first one out the front doors. No volunteering to clean the classroom today, no slow stroll with his friends out the gates and through town. He thanks his lucky stars that today is one of his few days off and gets yelled at by a few of the shopkeepers for driving through the village so fast.

He barely hears them, though he plans to apologize the next day. Right now all he can think about is getting home, to his favorite spot, and confirming... something. What, he has no idea. He just knows that something is wrong.

Very wrong.

Sure enough, the crack is still there. In the daylight it doesn't seem as bad as he remembers, from a distance it looks like nothing but a thin fracture. When he approaches, though, it widens before his eyes so much that he can slide his hand inside it completely. He's surprised to find that the rock is actually hollow, with an outer shell of a mere six inches or so. He presses his ear up against he crack and can hear water dripping inside. The air that seeps out is cool and damp. Standing directly at its feet, the Demon Stone looks endlessly tall, impossibly steep, but that same nagging in the back of his head compels him to slowly start climbing up its face, using the new crack as a foot hold.

Halfway up, he looks down and instantly regrets it. His heart leaps into his throat and his hands start shaking as they grip the smooth rock. Nonetheless, he urges himself on, for what reason he has no idea beyond that he needs to get there. When he finally does reach the top and is met with a gaping, jagged hole at the very center, he gasps out loud. Just in case, he pinches himself.

Nope, as he suspected, he's very awake.

While there are countless details that stand out to him as wrong with what he sees, three stick out most distinctly in his mind. One, the space inside the Demon Stone is glowing, and not your natural, maybe-its-refracted-light kind of glow, but a steady, shimmering blue glow that illuminates the very center of the hollowed space and shines up onto the rounded walls. Two, this glow seems to be coming from a series of inlaid stones, which pulsate as they glow. Written on these stones are what appear to be some form of lettering, but in no language Soohyun's ever seen before.

Finally, there is one detail which sends Soohyun sliding back down the face of the stone and bolting back to his house, and that's the outline he spies in the very center of the room of something oddly human-shaped.

The trees are a blur out of the corner of his eyes as he stumbles through. He spots his motorcycle exactly where he left it, haphazardly parked in front of the house since his grandfather wasn't around to nag him to put it in the garage. He stops, panting, beside it and surveys the outside of the house closely. Nothing out of the ordinary. Nonetheless he keeps looking, though he's not sure what he's looking for.

What he's looking for turns out to be his front door, which is not only unlocked, but hanging ajar. His hand reaches for his cellphone, but stops at the last second. After all, if he accidentally called the police on his grandfather, he can't even imagine the trouble he'd get into. He knows very well that whoever-- whatever-- is in his house is not his grandfather, but he hangs onto the excuse and inches toward the door as quietly as he can.

He can hear a spy movie theme playing in his ears as he presses his back against the wall and slides over to the front door. He nudges it open the rest of the way with his fingertips and peers around the corner.

"Looking for something?" a voice chimes from above. Soohyun whirls around and catches sight of a pair of huge, happy eyes before something heavy lands on him and the world goes black.

There's the smell of bacon and the sound of someone humming a tuneless, positively senseless melody. Soohyun yawns and sits up, but his head throbs horribly and forces him back down. Dishes crash and the humming continues, undisturbed. He can smell the bacon starting to burn, too. More crashing, followed by the sink being turned on and off.

Part of him is tempted to stay in bed in hopes of falling back asleep and reawakening to a new reality, but a greater part of him is intensely curious, especially when he hears a voice curse which is definitely not his grandfather's or anyone else that he knows for that matter. He forces himself back up and tiptoes to the door, the back of his head aching with every step. He's almost to the door when something pops right through the door. There's a head, shoulders and arms, carrying what looks to be a plate of badly burned bacon. A pair of dark, sad eyes peer at him.

"I think I burnt it." The lips move, but Soohyun doesn't grasp the meaning of the words for a full minute. He's too focused on that fact that there's a boy sticking halfway out of his door to worry about what he's holding-- a very attractive boy, he must admit, with well-defined features and thick, wavy black hair.

"H-how did you--"

The boy hangs his head and sighs. "I thought this would be easy. Earth cooking is much more complicated than it looks." With that, the boy retracts back out of the room, leaving the door perfectly intact, as if nothing had happened. Soohyun feels along the door's surface to confirm there was no trick.

What does one do when one's home has been invaded by a strange, bacon-cooking boy who can walk through walls?

Apparently, investigate. Trying to remain as calm as possible, Soohyun exits his room and walks downstairs while the kitchen continues to emit ominous bangs, sizzles and curses. He can see the boy bustling about the small kitchen through the small archway separating it from the rest of the house. He glances over his shoulder and grins at Soohyun, prancing off to slam the pan in his hand into the sink. The pan hisses as the hot metal hits the cold water and the boy jumps, visibly confused.

"Why does it keep doing that?" he asks, turning his wide, impossibly huge eyes on Soohyun.

"Don't you know that heat evaporates water?"

Wiping his hands on his jeans, which Soohyun recognizes as his, the boy cocks his head. "Evaporates..." He shrugs and returns to his plate of burnt bacon with a deep frown. "Then what happened to this?" He rests his chin on his hand and pouts at Soohyun.

"You cooked it too long."

The boy's mouth falls open a little and he shrugs again. "Cooking is so much easier where I come from," he concludes, tossing both the bacon and plate into the trashcan. Soohyun retrieves the plate and places it into the sink while the boy isn't looking.

"And where exactly are you from?" he asks carefully, not taking his eyes off the intruder.

"A planet far, far away," he replies wistfully. He turns to Soohyun with his hands on his hips. "But I like it here much better. Did you know that most think your planet is a map defect?" He raises an eyebrow dramatically and takes a seat at Soohyun's kitchen table. "It's true! This little grain of sand looks like nothing but a speck of dust on our maps, which is so funny considering you all honestly believe you're the only intelligent beings in the universe."

Soohyun shakes his head and approaches the table. "I'm sorry, but what are you doing in my house?"

He cocks his head again and smiles a little. "What do you mean? Don't you recognize me, Soohyun?"

Panic threatens to render him speechless, but he forces out an awkward cough and looks to the side. "How am I supposed to recognize you? We've never met before."

"Perhaps not officially," the boy grumbles, pouting. "But I thought after talking to me for seven years, you'd at least sense it a little."

Soohyun crosses his arms and frowns. "Are you trying to tell me you're a rock?"

"No," he says as he straightens up in his chair. "I'm the one who was imprisoned in that rock for seven hundred years."

"Seven hundred--" Soohyun chokes.

"Yes, seven hundred years."

"So you're not--"

"No, I'm not human." A self-satisfied smirk spreads across his face. "My name is Kiseob, and I'm a space pirate." With that, he gets to his feet and smiles at Soohyun. "Now, teach me how to cook edible Earth bacon."

Two hours and four pans of torched bacon later, Soohyun sits with Kiseob on the front stoop munching their first successful batch. He can't explain how he's taking this all so well except for the fact that this story makes him seem somehow less crazy than sticking to "I like talking to rocks." Kiseob's habit of floating right through walls-- floating, mind you, not walking, because apparently he can also levitate-- also makes it all impossible to deny, no matter how hard Soohyun tries.

"So it was you I've been talking to?" he asks dryly with a piece of bacon dangling from his lips.

Kiseob grabs three pieces and crams them all into his mouth. He nods with smiling eyes and full cheeks.

"So you heard... everything?" he asks though it's a stupid question. He gets another stuffed-mouth nod in return. "That's humiliating."

Kiseob slaps his arm playfully and swallows his food. "Ah, don't be like that! I was so glad you came by." He sighs and is suddenly serious, hugging his knees to his chest. "Not many Earthlings bothered with the rock, 'cause of your stupid legend. It was so quiet.... for such a long time. And then you came along!"

"Seven hundred years," Soohyun repeats in a whisper. "You must have done something horrible to get that punishment." He glances at Kiseob out of the corner of his eye and the alien shifts uncomfortably.

"I'm a space pirate," he mumbles. "Of course I did some bad stuff."

"Bad stuff like what?" Soohyun demands, crossing his arms and holding the plate of bacon out of Kiseob's reach when he goes for more.

"Just stealing and stuff!" he whines, stomping his feet. Soohyun frowns and shakes his head. "Fine," Kiseob sighs. "I may have stolen a planet."

Soohyun lowers the plate, earning a triumphant whoop from Kiseob, but his mouth hangs open. "You stole a planet?" he whispers harshly. "How the hell do you do that?"

Kiseob shrugs. "It was a small planet, though bigger than your speck." He stuffs his mouth full of bacon and looks away, obviously unwilling to say anything more.

"Alright, then answer me one more question." Kiseob turns and glares at him. "Not about your stealing."

Eying Soohyun suspiciously, Kiseob mutters, "Fine, but this is the last question." Soohyun wants to curse and laugh because he'll be damned if the alien who broke into his house is going to call the shots, but he refrains.

"If you've been imprisoned here for seven hundred years, with no contact with anyone besides myself, then why are you still here?"

"Still where?" he asks innocently.

"On 'my speck,' on Earth." Kiseob blinks cluelessly and Soohyun rolls his eyes. "Come on, why the hell would you stick around here after being stuck here for so long? Don't you want to go home, or at least go back to being a space pirate? Not that I have any clue what that really means, but still."

Kiseob narrows his eyes at the sky, which is steadily growing darker as the sun sets. "I like it here, and I made a promise."

"A promise?"

"Yep!" he laughs. "I made a promise with a certain eleven year old that I would always be there for him." He gives Soohyun a wink and links their arms. "Granted, he asked a rock to promise, not me, but I say it counts."

Soohyun chuckles and rubs his temples. He should be angry, skeptical or at least somewhat put out, but there's something incredibly sweet about Kiseob's words. "The rock is still here, you know."

Kiseob looks genuinely offended and gives Soohyun a push which sends him flying off of the porch. "Shit, I'm sorry!" he cries as he runs after Soohyun.

The last thought that passes through Soohyun's mind before he blacks out is that having a space pirate around might be more complicated than he can ever imagine.

The next day Kiseob orders Soohyun to buy them a pizza, because for decades he's wanted nothing more than to try pizza. What Soohyun would like to know is how the hell Kiseob knew anything about pizza while living in a remote part of South Korea, but Kiseob shoves him out the front door with a, "Pizza first; explanations later."

Soohyun takes the opportunity to apologize to the people he frightened the day before with his crazy bike-riding. The old women forgive him immediately and invite him for dinner since his grandfather is away, but he declines with the excuse that he has a lot of homework, so he's just going to take a pizza home and get to studying.

He returns to find Kiseob lounging on the roof, exactly where he'd been the day before when Soohyun had tried to catch the intruder inside his house. "You're not going to make me come up there, are you?"

"I could carry you!" Kiseob offers cheerfully. "I'm plenty strong enough." To emphasize his point, he leaps off the roof and hovers in the air with his arms outstretched.

To emphasize his point, Soohyun promptly takes the pizza inside, much to Kiseob's displeasure. "I've been knocked out twice by you in the last twenty-four hours," he reminds Kiseob and there's no arguing with that, but it doesn't stop Kiseob from sulking as he digs into his first ever pizza lunch.

"Ever heard of astral-projection?" Kiseob asks after inhaling three slices.

"Sounds familiar," he answers vaguely, and Kiseob gives him a wicked grin which screams I know something you don't know.

"Basically I can leave my body when I'm unconscious, but only when I'm really, really unconscious," he explains slowly.

"Like seven hundred years level of unconscious?"

"Precisely!" He grabs another slice with glee. "It lets me wander a bit, but not very far. I could see everything and hear everything that went on around the rock, but that's about it."

Soohyun grabs a slice-- his first. "Then explain how you know about pizza."

"Isn't that obvious?" he asks with a smirk. "Some adolescent Earthlings brought it around. I know about beer, too, thanks to them."

"I'm not buying you beer," Soohyun says quickly.

"I know of much better ways to get oneself high, thank you every much," Kiseob grumbles, but there's slight disappointment in his voice. Kiseob snatches up the last slice of pizza and shoves it into his mouth. Soohyun rolls his eyes and heads for the fridge, since he was only able to get in one slice to Kiseob's eleven. "Are you glad I'm here, Soohyun?" Kiseob's voice is weak and forced, and he looks away as Soohyun glances at him.

He shrugs. "It doesn't seem like I have much of a choice either way."

"Well, very soon you might," Kiseob mutters and storms out of the kitchen.

Soohyun blinks. Today's discovery: even space aliens can be moody. He grabs two bottles of soda and follows his new friend outside. When he doesn't find Kiseob on the stoop, he says firmly, "I'm not coming up there."

"Then I guess you're not learning anymore secrets of the universe," the space pirate's voice calls from above.

"I came to comfort you, you know."

"Well then I guess you'll be consumed by guilt since you refuse to come up here and do it." Soohyun can hear the giggle that follows and he bristles.

"If I let you carry me up there, you have to promise to tell me what's on your mind." The bottles clink in his hand as he tries to assume a firm pose.

There's a pause, and then very slowly Kiseob lowers himself back off of the roof, stopping to hover three inches above the ground. He raises and eyebrow and declares sullenly, "You drive a hard bargain, Earthling, but I accept." With a quick burst of a grin, he swoops in and lifts Soohyun off the group princess-style and plops him down gently onto the roof. "Wasn't so bad, now was it?" he chirps, ignoring Soohyun's flushed face and ragged breathing.

"Never. Again," he pants.

Kiseob grabs his soda and settles onto the roof comfortably. "Isn't the view nice up here?"

Resisting the urge to smack Kiseob, mostly out of fear that he'll be hit back, Soohyun forces himself to look up and yes, the stars do look rather nice. He refuses to admit it, though, and angrily unscrews his soda.

"I guess this must seem weird to you."

"What in particular?" Soohyun replies sarcastically.

Kiseob laughs and, giving Soohyun a nervous little glance, leans against him. Soohyun raises an eyebrow in surprise but doesn't say a word. "From what I understand, Earthlings are usually very skeptical beings. You've taken this well."

Soohyun shrugs, the movement making Kiseob lean more on him. "To be honest I don't get it either, but having you around doesn't seem weird, even with all the flying and stuff."

"You always were a lonely kid," the alien sighs heavily.

"I was not," Soohyun growls, "and even if I was, it would have nothing to do with this."

"Soohyun," Kiseob says seriously, sitting up and staring directly into his eyes. Soohyun flinches and takes a long sip from his soda. "You've been talking to a rock for how many years now? And then some guy comes along and says 'Hey, I'm a space pirate,' and you just accept it? Sounds pretty lonely to me."

"It's not like I'm asking you to stay," he replies. He goes to get to his feet and walk off, completely forgetting where they happen to be sitting. Luckily Kiseob grabs his pant leg and drags him back down before he goes toppling off of the roof. While he's distracted re-learning how to breath, Kiseob links their arms and leans on Soohyun's shoulder.

The soda dangles in Kiseob's fingers, unopened and untouched. "But you like having me around."

"It gets boring around here when Gramps takes off," he admits with another shrug.

"Then would you like me to stay, or would you miss me if I left?" Kiseob looks up with his cheek resting on Soohyun's arm, those huge eyes begging him for an answer. Soohyun gulps and looks away-- stupid aliens with their stupid, cute alien eyes.

"How long do you plan on staying?" he asks skeptically.

"As long as you want me to."

Soohyun laughs out loud and shakes his head. "I'm not sure about that."

That seems to be exactly the answer Kiseob is looking for, because the biggest smile Soohyun's seen yet spreads across his face. "Then I'll just have to wait until you figure it out." He hugs Soohyun's arm tighter and looks out into the sky, the stars reflecting in his eyes. "After all, I could never abandon my Soohyun."

"Your Soohyun?" he chokes as he gags on his soda.

Kiseob narrows his eyes and scooches closer. "Yes."

Soohyun just chuckles, and a thought occurs to him. "Hey, you're a guy, right?"

Kiseob blinks his wide eyes. "I'm male, of course." Soohyun looks to Kiseob's arms, still clinging to Soohyun's and raises an eyebrow. A knowing look dawns on Kiseob's face and he pats Soohyun's face affectionately. "Ah, you Earthlings really are so backward."

With that, he curls back up against Soohyun's side and begins to hum his random but pretty tune.

Soohyun wakes up to Kiseob violently shaking him, and though he's used to the alien's often excitedly over-energetic awakenings after a whole week of them, there's something off in the urgent way Kiseob is trying to drag him right out of bed.

"Hurry, hurry, hurry!" Kiseob is screeching when Soohyun is finally lucid enough to comprehend words.

"What's going on?" he asks groggily as he rubs his eyes. Kiseob tosses him a shirt, which he pulls on obediently.

"Shit, they're here," the alien is mumbling to himself over and over. "I thought there would be more time, but fuck they're actually here!" That's when Soohyun hears it-- a rustling at first, which grows steadily into a horrible roar as wind rips at the house. Out the window he can see branches flying about in the chaos and the tops of the trees swaying dangerously. Something is out there, in the sky. It casts a horribly large shadow over the lawn and the forest and Soohyun feels his throat tighten.

He turns to ask Kiseob once again what the hell is going on, but he's nowhere to be seen. Soohyun finishes getting dressed and runs from the bedroom, but Kiseob isn't in the house. One look outside the kitchen window and he spies Kiseob standing in the middle of the lawn, staring up at the sky as the fierce wind whips around him.

The front door slams open as he twists the knob and he screams, "What the hell is going on?" But Kiseob doesn't hear him. Soohyun follows his friend's angry gaze upward and sees it.

It can only be described as a giant, humming, hovering disk-like craft in the sky-- an actual flying saucer. Soohyun groans and thinks that it's far too cliche to be real, but then again he had no problem believing a space pirate had been living in a giant rock for seven hundred years.

A beam of purple light shoots down from the ship, landing right on Kiseob. The alien yelps and flies from its path, back toward the house to cower behind Soohyun. "Care to tell me what the hell that thing is?"

"That's rather obvious, isn't it?" he mumbles from his hiding space.

Soohyun grabs him in a headlock and growls into his ear, "Now really isn't the time to be sarcastic, Kiseob." He's about to ask again when two figures appear floating at the very top of the beam, slowly descending to the Earth.

"Oh shit," Kiseob whines into his hands.

The two figures land and the purple beam dissipates. One is average height with a slightly wide build and short black hair. He appears to be a subordinate to the other, who stands in front and is shorter. This one has small, rounded features and a pissy expression. In his billowing robes, his body looks minuscule, even adolescent. He's the one who steps forward and folds his arms. He addresses Soohyun and Kiseob with a tone dripping with displeasure, "What the hell are you doing out?"

Soohyun knows very well the question isn't addressed to him, but he can't stop himself from shouting back, "And who the hell are you?"

The kid looks at him and makes a distinct, "tch," sound. He raises a hand and motions the other man to stand beside him. "Please watch your tone when addressing the Prince," the older man says solemnly.

"The Prince?" Soohyun repeats with obvious doubt.

"Yes," the smaller figure answers instead in an even, grave tone. "You are in the presence of the Imperial Prince Dongho of planet Shin."

"You've got to be kidding me," Soohyun mutters under his breath. He's more than relieved when Kiseob finally stops hiding and steps up beside him. "Is this kid for real?" he whispers.

"I'm afraid so," Kiseob whispers back. Dongho locks onto Kiseob with his angry little eyes and Soohyun notices a strange glow around the boy's fingertips. Kiseob must notice it, too, because he tenses and laughs awkwardly, holding up his arms. "Look, I don't want to fight."

Dongho barks a harsh laugh and the glow engulfs his entire hand. "You, not want to fight? That'll be the day." He starts to fly toward them-- great, Soohyun thinks to himself, more flying aliens-- but stops as Kiseob gets to his knees.

"I mean it. I don't want to fight." Soohyun watches as Kiseob kneels all the way forward, placing his palms on the ground. Dongho watches as well and the threatening glow fades.

"What tricks are you up to this time, pirate?"

Kiseob looks up and smiles sadly. "None this time. I'm done fighting." Dongho frowns but crosses his arms, and Kiseob begins to rise to his feet. When he meets Dongho's eyes again, Dongho snaps his fingers and the man beside him shoots a ball of light out of his hand, which envelops Kiseob and carries him back to the other two.

"Well," Dongho says to Soohyun as his subordinate heads back to the ship with Kiseob in tow. "You and I need to talk, now don't we?"

"You received an alert that he escaped, so you've come to capture Kiseob and re-imprison him on another planet?" Soohyun asks slowly, seated at his kitchen table. Dongho sits across from him, arms crossed and expression bored.

"Correct."

"And you need my permission to do it?"

"Correct," Dongho repeats. "As the owner of the land upon which the fugitive was imprisoned, only you can give official license to me to transport him elsewhere." He sighs and looks out the window. "It's a stupid rule, but as you've been the one responsible for him for the last few centuries, you have some rights in this decision."

Soohyun looks at his hands, at the paper they hold which is covered in writing he can't read. "This is kind of---"

"Look," the Prince interrupts, drumming his fingers on the table. "The sooner you sign that, the sooner we can take the fugitive away and you can return to your normal life." Soohyun still hesitates, and Dongho's eyes narrow. "I'll make you a deal," he continues, leaning forward. "I'm sure you're very curious about Kiseob, about his past and everything. That guy probably fed you nothing but lies, so go ahead and ask anything you wish about him, and I'll tell you what I know. I imprisoned him in that rock myself, you know." He grins smugly as Soohyun's jaw drops.

"But you're younger than I am!"

"I certainly am not," he grumbles. "I'm twelve hundred years and some number of days old. Tracking the days is so tiresome," he adds in a yawn. Soohyun watches the boy carefully and there's something untrustworthy in his eyes. Nonetheless, he smiles and leans back in his chair.

"You'll tell me anything?"

"Anything," the Prince replies with a smirk. "Just ask."

"Then is it true that Kiseob's kind of... do you say aliens?" He looks at Dongho sheepishly.

"Alien is the only term your little brain will be able to handle, so feel free to use it."

He swallows the insult and continues, "Is it true Kiseob's kind of alien can't sleep alone?" He looks at his hands and feels himself blush as soon as he says it.

The silence that follows makes Soohyun want to curl up on his kitchen floor and die.

"Excuse me?" Dongho finally asks, obviously trying not to laugh.

That's all the answer Soohyun needs, and as night after night of Kiseob cuddling horribly close to him in bed and chiding him for finding it weird because "this is what we always do on my planet," he storms out of the kitchen. "Wait!" Dongho screeches after him. "Don't you want to know who Kiseob--"

But Soohyun doesn't hear him. He marches out the front door, across the lawn and right into the purple beam of light. A lightness overcomes his entire body and he closes his eyes as he's drawn up into the giant spaceship.

With Dongho's subordinate's help, who turns out to be named Eli, Soohyun finds the small room where Kiseob is being held. Frankly he's surprised that Dongho is allowing him to waltz around the ship, but he's not about to question it. The room he's led to his huge and empty, containing a single row of bubbles like the one Kiseob was captured with. All are empty but one, the very last one on the other side of the room. Within it Kiseob is dozing quietly, at least until Soohyun walks up and starts banging on the side.

Kiseob practically leaps to the side and presses his face up against the glass-like material. "I knew you'd come rescue me!" the space pirate cheers with tears in his eyes. He sits back down with a pout when he's greeted with a heated glare.

"You lied to me," Soohyun says, fuming.

Kiseob sits cross-legged on the bottom of his bubble and crosses his arms. "I don't know what--"

"You fucking lied to me, Kiseob," Soohyun continues, "when I never even questioned you." The hurt look on Kiseob's face makes his chest ache, but he can't stop himself. He feels like he's about to explode. "I took everything you said as truth and trusted you, and this is what I get?" He begins to pace a four-foot path in front of Kiseob's bubble.

"Is this about the--"

"You know what this is fucking about!" Soohyun shouts, smacking the side of the bubble again. He regrets it a little, though, because Kiseob's eyes widen with horror and he shrinks back to the other side of his cell, his hands visibly shaking.

He hugs his legs and buries his face behind his knees. "I never though Dongho would tell you..." he whimpers.

The pathetic pose and heartbreaking voice dispel all of Soohyun's rage, though he's annoyed with himself that he alls Kiseob to have an effect on him. "Well, I mean," he mutters lamely. "I kind of always figured you were, you know..."

"That I was a murderer?" Kiseob snaps, not looking up.

That makes Soohyun pause as his jaw drops open. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asks with an incredulous laugh.

Kiseob looks up, hiccuping as he meets Soohyun's confused gaze with wet, red eyes, and Soohyun finally gets it. No one deserves seven hundred years of imprisonment for stealing.

He walks back out of the room and pretends not to hear Kiseob calling him back.

Dongho must have been informed of what happened, because Soohyun comes home to an empty house. He knows the Brat Prince will be back, he needs Soohyun's permission to leave, but Soohyun appreciates being left alone for now. The decision he has to make is the last thing on his mind and yet the only thing on his mind as he wanders through the kitchen, picking up all of the dirty dishes and piling them in the sink. He wipes the table and counters clean of crumbs before starting to wash the dishes. One plate has a slimy smiley face painted on it in bacon grease which refuses to be scrubbed away, so he abandons the entire task.

He has no idea how he feels.

There's a pizza in the refrigerator that Kiseob made him go pick up the day before, but he can't bring himself to eat it. It was supposed to be today's breakfast. There seems to be nothing else in the house besides bacon and soda, but it's getting late anyway so he decides to skip dinner and sleep.

The bed feels big. Big and empty. No matter which way he turns or how he positions himself, he can't get comfortable. He has too many pillows. His blanket is too wide. He can't stand this much space. Who knew that a few days could make returning to his old routine so impossible?

He bunches up an extra pillow and shoves it into the spot beside him. It'll have to do.

As he closes his eyes, he can still hear that annoyingly tuneless humming. He thinks he knows how he feels now.

He wakes up with a bad case of deja vu, because he can hear a loud rustling which soon turns into an airy roar outside his window. This time there is no panicked alien running about to get him out of bed, so he sluggishly pulls on clothes and slumps out of his room. The new, smaller spacecraft lowering itself beside Dongho's doesn't even phase him.

So much can change in a week, after all.

Dongho and Eli soon join him on the ground, Dongho glaring up at the arriving craft while Eli mumbles to Soohyun what's going on. "That's an official vehicle of the Intergalactic Police. We sent them a report that we'd handle Kiseob's recapture and reimprisonment personally so that they wouldn't have to go to the trouble."

A blue beam of light appears and three figures slowly float down from the police spaceship. Two wear bright red and yellow uniforms, complete with what appear to be some kind of gun at the belt. One has bright blond hair and effeminate features, the other has tan skin and a wide, always smiling mouth. Accompanying them is a rather angry looking man with sharp features sporting a bright white lab coat. As they land, Soohyun spies glowing hand-cuff like rings around the third man's wrists.

"I told you not to come, Kevin," Dongho whines at the blond man. "We can handle picking up an idiot like Kiseob."

"About that," the other police officer says. "We have some bad news."

Dongho glares at the two of them and graciously invites them all into Soohyun's house to discuss.

What Kevin and Alexander, the other police officer, tell Dongho and Eli then explains to Soohyun, is that there is a law set by the Intergalactic Judiciary that a criminal's case file only stays open for five hundred years. They call it the "Statute of Limitations." The vast majority of criminals are caught within this time period, and it's a way to keep the system cleaned out. In Kiseob's case, though, this means that two hundred years ago he stopped being considered a criminal by the system. Thus, Dongho had no right to go after and recapture him.

They discuss the law and all of its subtleties in great detail, and Eli tries his best to keep Soohyun on track, but Soohyun ends up spacing out once he gets the basic gist: Dongho is now required by law to let Kiseob go.

"We happened to be in the area arresting this guy," Alexander chuckles, nodding at the man in the lab coat who sits gloomily with his wrists still in their glowing chains, "so they sent us to tell you to get out of here."

"I have a name, you know," the man grumbles.

"Sorry, Kibum," Kevin laughs kindly, but Soohyun notices some sympathy in the officer's eyes. Kevin catches him looking at beams. "Kibum is an infamous scientist whose latest experiments have been getting him into quite a lot of trouble." Soohyun nods and smiles back because it's impossible not to return that smile-- kind of like Kiseob's. It seems to have a similar effect on Kibum, for the grumpy man's expression softens a little and he turns to stare out the window.

"In any case," Alexander continues, "you need to let Kiseob go, or face a possible arrest yourself, Prince." He punctuates his threat with a bright wink before getting to his feet. Kevin follows suit and gestures Kibum to as well.

"Not going to stick around and chat?" Dongho asks sarcastically.

"We have a job to do, you know," Alexander chides.

"That's a first," Dongho mutters, but if Alexander hears him, it doesn't bother him in the least as he gives Soohyun and Eli a happy wave goodbye. Soohyun nods to Kevin and Kibum and, as quickly as they arrived, the three newest alien additions to Soohyun's life are gone.

He can practically see the steam shooting out of Dongho's ears as the prince turns to him and barks, "You have one more chance. Tell me he's been trespassing or bothering you or something and I can take him away for being a disturbance."

"And why would I want that?" Soohyun laughs, enjoying the way Dongho's young forehead creases as he glares daggers in Soohyun's direction.

"Are you telling me you're perfectly willing to allow a murderer, not even of your species, to continue residing with you?"

Soohyun shrugs and Dongho's expression worsens. "My reasons shouldn't matter to you. You have to let him go or they'll arrest you."

As he expects, Dongho can't find any argument with that, but he's sure to stomp on Soohyun's foot hard enough to bruise as he exits the house.

After an excruciating forty minute wait, Kiseob appears floating beneath the giant spaceship-- Dongho didn't feel like letting him use the bright purple beam thing, Soohyun assumes. Kiseob stops a ways away and hovers awkwardly, his hands clutched behind his back. Soohyun wishes he'd hurry up but doesn't dare say it.

Finally, Kiseob lands in front of him, but stares at his feet and shifts back and forth. "They said I'm free to go," he mumbles.

"Some Intergalactic Police officers already today me," Soohyun replies, trying to sound smug and informed despite only having spent minutes with them.

Kiseob's face brightened. "So you met Kevin and Alexander?" he says and grabs Soohyun's hand. "How were they? It's been eons since I last saw them!" And he probably means it literally.

Relieved, Soohyun smiles and says nothing, enjoying the warm feeling of Kiseob's hand on his. He squeezes Kiseob's hand and it must be misunderstood, because Kiseob lets go and backs away as if struck.

"I'm sorry, I--"

"Hey, you hungry?" Soohyun interrupts with a grin. Kiseob blinks and nods. "We still have a pizza."

That's all Kiseob needs to hear and he's flying through the front door, succeeding in scarfing down half of the pizza before Soohyun can even get into the kitchen.

The night sky is especially beautiful when it isn't obstructed by a huge spacecraft, Soohyun thinks to himself as he stretches out on his back across the rounded top of the Demon Stone. Kiseob sits a few inches away, hugging his legs and staring at his feet. "You don't have to tell me," Soohyun says softly.

"Yes I do," he mutters. "I may be a pirate, a thief and a murderer, but I'm not a liar." The word 'murderer' sends shivers down Soohyun's spine and he rolls over onto his side, facing away from his friend. He wishes Kiseob would just let it go.

"You're not a liar anymore, technically," he offers, but Kiseob ignores him. A pair of legs appear before him as the alien hops over to the other side and lies down on his stomach next to Soohyun. He pokes Soohyun in the cheek when he frowns and tries to look away. "If it will make you feel better, you can tell me," he says magnanimously. Kiseob sticks his tongue out and rolls over onto his back.

"Dongho chased me everywhere after I stole that planet. Hell, he chased me everywhere even after I gave it back-- a planet wasn't worth being bothered by a midget Prince for the rest of my life, after all." He sighs. "That theft was kind of a big deal, I guess."

"You guess?" Soohyun laughs dryly.

"Shush, this is story time," Kiseob scolds him. "Dongho chased me all the way here, and neither of us were very considerate toward the humans who were living here." He winces and looks at Soohyun apologetically. "To be fair, there weren't many people living around here back then. I got very close to getting away from him, but in the process I accidentally set one of the few huts on fire."

"You do have serious problems with fire."

Kiseob laughs out loud but punches Soohyun in the arm. Soohyun counts his blessings that Kiseob remembers his own strength or else he might have ended up with a crushed arm. After catching his breath, Kiseob's face falls and his mouth twitches at the corners. "I'd never met humans before, I'd never even really looked at one, until suddenly I was watching them die." He closes his eyes and rubs his face, wiping away a few tears.

Soohyun grabs Kiseob's hand and holds it in between them. When Kiseob stares at him, he looks away and wills his brain to shut up and his heart to quiet the hell down because he wouldn't be surprised at all if even a normal human being could hear its horribly loud beating. A smile creeps onto his face when Kiseob's fingers link with his.

"Just remember your promise," he says firmly and Kiseob chuckles.

"The rock's still here, what do you need me for?"

Soohyun rolls his eyes and yanks Kiseob until he's sprawled across Soohyun's chest, wriggling and laughing as Soohyun discovers that aliens are just as ticklish as humans. Kiseob gasps for air while Soohyun smooths the hair out of his face and sighs happily. "I still say I don't have much of a choice." Kiseob cocks his head with a small smile and Soohyun grins. "Without you, I'd die of boredom."

"Like I said, I'm staying until you kick me out," Kiseob yawns with a grin as he lies back, using Soohyun's arm as his pillow. "And probably even longer than that, just to make sure you don't really die without me."

Soohyun just chuckles and returns to watching the sky. Somewhere out there, an entire planet of crazy, ravenous, flying aliens exist, and somewhere out there is a planet which was once kidnapped by one of them. Never before has the night sky amused him so much, and he smiles at the thought that now he's just a little bit more connected to whatever lies out there, beyond where humans will ever reach.

Then it occurs to him that he's going to have to explainr his new friend and housemate to his grandfather, and never before has he wanted to be locked inside a rock for centuries, maybe even eons-- however long those are.