[Kai/Victoria] Exposed, PG-13, Oneshot
Pairing: Victoria Song Qian x Kai Kim Jongin
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Romance,
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the writing.
Summary: There are a lot of things in this world that cannot be exposed to the public eye and ear; secrets, affairs, crimes of many sorts. Theirs, though, may be an exception.
He remembers, all those years ago, when they were children who barely knew the meaning of anguish and turmoil; when games consisted of toys and laughter; when they played in the snow and she was covered in the white flakes of winter, reflecting beautifully of their innocence and childish ignorance.
Most of all, he remembers her smile-- raw and genuine, pure like an angel’s.
“Jongin.”
This voice is strange in his ears, unfamiliar, and he’s pulled out of his memories. “Yeah?” He grunts in response.
Nails dig into his back, long legs wrap around his waist. She pulls him closer, tighter against herself, and he feels her hot breath against his neck when she whimpers against his skin. “I’m close.”
Every second passes with much effort and Jongin lets his eyelids fall so that darkness can consume him as he gives his final pushes. When everything blasts white and he feels his energy pool out from his body, he falls over on the bed and listens to the uneven breathing from the girl beside him.
“Jongin.” She whispers affectionately.
His name is awkward on her tongue.
“Jo--”
Before she can say his name again, he leans over and engulfs her lips with his own. The kiss is quick, effortless, and by the time she realizes that he’s pulled away, Jongin is already walking out the room door.
Something about the aftermath of their intercourse always leaves her feeling empty, even though she had been filled with so much of Jongin.
Then it dawns on her, minutes later every time, that he never once says her name.
Sometimes she wonders if he even knows who she is.
The kitchen is dark when she comes down the flight of stairs to the first floor.
Not expecting anyone there, she flips the light on and is just about ready to walk over to the refrigerator when she catches sight of Jongin drinking out of a glass full of water. She tries to smile fondly, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“It’s cold. You really should at least have a shirt on.”
Jongin scoffs, setting his cup down on the table. He’s a mess, he knows, because no one ever looks decent fresh out of sex. “You almost sound like you actually care, Qian.”
She shrugs and pulls the fridge open, reaching for a carton of milk and pouring it into a clean glass. “I do care. If you catch a cold, the media will be on my tail.”
Just as she sets the milk carton into the fridge, she sees Jongin reach for her glass and drink out of it nonchalantly. Victoria inwardly scowls, but decides not to comment. “They’ll be on your tail regardless.” He says. “I’m sure they saw me bring Jimin in.”
“Your scandals are easy to deal with. My negligence as a thoughtful and caring fiancee, though, is not so easy to shed off.” Victoria replies with ease. “Especially when the world thinks you’re so in love with me.”
“If you were any cuter, it could be a fact.” Jongin remarks.
His lips curl into a smirk, much too arrogant for Victoria’s liking. “I think I’ll pass on that one. I’m sure your many dates are enough to suffice for my lack of interest.”
Jongin laughs, stepping forward and pressing his lips against hers gently. She can taste the milk from his breath, mingling with hers intimately. “Hardly,” he comments smugly.
“Don’t kiss me after you’ve just had sex with someone else.” Victoria grimaces. She backs away from him, hands shoving at his bare chest.
He grins. “Jealous?”
“Hygienic.” She corrects. “I fancy the thought that not kissing your fiancee with tainted lips is simple common courtesy.”
Jongin nods. “I’ll keep that in mind next time.”
“Good.” She breathes, biting down on her bottom lip as she glances at the cup of milk one last time. Abandoning her drink, she turns and readies herself to return to her room when she feels strong fingers wrap around her wrist, pulling her back.
When she’s forced around, she’s greeted with Jongin’s suddenly narrowed eyes. “Who was that guy you were with yesterday morning?”
“Who?” Victoria asks innocently.
Jongin is unconvinced by her act of ignorance. “I saw you. He picked you up downstairs and even kissed your cheek.”
“Playing investigator now?” Victoria mocks. “I’m sorry, I thought we grew up.”
“Just answer the question.” He demands.
Victoria pointedly raises a brow. “It’s none of your business.”
“I’m your fiance.” Jongin remarks.
“And I’m yours, but do I question your affairs?” Victoria retorts. Jongin is rendered speechless. “We are nothing more than an engagement by name. What happens to us under the tables and away from the public has absolutely nothing to do with one another. Now, if you would excuse me, I have your scandal to clear up.”
“Qian--”
Victoria stops him, staring him in the eyes. “We’re not children anymore, Kai. When we were younger, we could play house and stand by each other like guardians, like friends. Right now, we actually are engaged and we have responsibilities. It is my responsibility to love you, to protect you, to be with you. As far as my responsibilities go, I can say I’ve played my part well. I always have, ever since we were kids, haven’t I?”
He doesn’t utter a sound.
“You’ve always been bad at this game, though.” Victoria snidely comments. “You still are.”
“Maybe it’s because this has never been a game to me.” He argues. “Maybe you are the only one treating this as though it were just childs play.”
Victoria takes a deep breath. “You haven’t proved to me otherwise.”
His door creaks open and a fresh face pops out from the darkness, glancing around.
“Jongin?”
“She’s calling for you.” Victoria scoffs. “Things never do change.”
Before Jongin can speak another word, Victoria approaches the girl at the door. “Hi,” she greets warmly, a smile plastered on her face. The girl is obviously flustered. “I’m Victoria Song. I suppose you probably are familiar with at least my title.”
“Yes,” the girl replies. “How could I not recognize the fashion mogul’s daughter?”
Victoria wills her smile not to falter. “Perfect. I don’t mean to cause you any disturbance, but in order to keep Kai’s image and reputation up to par, I must request that we take a short trip out to the mall tomorrow afternoon. You should stay over tonight; it’s much too late for a beautiful girl like you to wander outside.”
“She’ll be fine.” Jongin comments.
“If you’d like, you could stay with Jongin tonight. If not, we can have a spare room prepared for you.” Victoria says, ignoring Jongin’s words. “Your choice.”
“I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t ha--”
Victoria laughs. “Don’t be silly,” she says, “you shouldn’t be sorry.”
At that, she bows slightly before making her way to the stairs and returning to her room on the second level. Jimin watches as Victoria leaves, and there is an unspoken sadness that fills her heart.
She glances over at Jongin, who is still watching Victoria’s shadow, and it suddenly becomes clear.
“You should go after her.”
Jongin’s eyes flicker over to her, and they are filled with emptiness. “It wouldn’t make a difference.” He says. “She’s too far ahead of the game.”
“So she’s lost sight of you.” Jimin says, filling in the blanks for him.
He can’t seem to agree or disagree with Jimin’s theory. Jongin simply returns his gaze to the staircase, wondering what it was between the years that kept them going strong. “Maybe I was the one who lost track of her first, somewhere along the way.”
To be honest, Victoria doesn’t know why she tolerates such behavior from Jongin.
In actuality, she has every right to tell Jongin that he needs to clean up his act. No matter how she thinks of it, there is no valid explanation for the way he’s acting-- they both grew up in this environment, knowing that someday they would have to carry to burden of their family name on their shoulders.
Jongin shouldn’t be so reckless; neither should he be so careless.
If he was going to play, he should play smart. With brutal schedules like theirs, it isn’t hard to find themselves immersed into their private lives of drinking and partying; gaming wildly and wasting away time that they cannot afford.
Unlike Jongin, Victoria could control herself and not be caught.
Sometimes, she wondered if Jongin even cared to worry.
“You two don’t seem to care for each other the way they report in the papers.”
Victoria takes another sip out of her milk tea, flipping through dresses and blouses on the clothing racks of the expensive brand name clothing shop. “Is that so?”
“Why are you bringing me out?” Jimin asks.
The shirt Victoria pulls out is slightly too baggy for her taste, but she holds it out in front of the stranger standing before her and it seems to suit her perfectly. “Showing the world how loyal Kai is to me.”
“What?”
She hands the shirt to an employee and continues browsing the clothing selection. “The story about you from now on is that we are good friends and Kai picked you up and brought you to our residence to meet up with me. For me, his fiancee, Kim Jongin, son of one of the most brilliant senate’s of the country, is even willing to become the chauffeur for his beloved’s closest friend.”
“You’re covering for him?” The girl asks in bewilderment.
Victoria pauses and turns to look her in the eyes, seemingly confused. “I always have.”
“You’re scary.” The stranger tells her. “Why would you be willing to cover for your fiancee’s affair? Are you even aware of what you’re doing?”
“I’m perfectly aware.” Victoria replies calmly. “Much too clear, as a matter of fact, but if you have so little dignity as to meddling with a man who’s already engaged, then why should I worry about how unintelligent it is to cover for the man who is engaged to me?”
“I’m not--”
“It doesn’t matter.” Victoria tells her. “From now on, we just need to play our parts. We all have our little secrets; I’m just better at keeping his for him than he is.”
The girl purses her lips. “You must really love Jongin.”
“Not enough.” Victoria shrugs nonchalantly. She chooses a couple more outfits and follows the shop employee to the register, pulling out her credit card and paying for the bill. “I’ve never quite loved him enough.”
Not enough to stop him from loving others; not enough to stop herself from hurting the both of them. Victoria’s never felt sufficient enough to love Jongin. If anything, she loved the memories of their past more.
After checking out, she happily hands the bags over to the girl.
“These are for you. In the future, if you are to be seen with Kai in public again, I hope you can wear these clothes I have bought for you today.”
Cautiously, the girl accepts the bags and narrows her eyes. “Why?”
“I’ve chosen clothes that are appropriate to be seen in public with. These clothing are neither too exposing, nor unappealing to the eyes. They compliment you well and I’m sure you’ll look fantastic in them. That way, the media won’t suspect Kai of mingling with girls outside of my circle and we won’t have to worry about them digging too deeply into your personal life. If they believe you are one of us, they won’t find much interest in you,” Victoria explains simply. “It is in your best interest.”
“I don’t know how you do it.” Jimin admits. “Dressing up a stranger and covering for her while knowing full well that she’s sleeping with your fiance, that is.”
Victoria smiles politely. “It was a pleasure meeting you too, Jimin.”
Victoria was never the sophisticated type.
She admits to her past; of days when snowfall was her only joy and rainfall was her only pain. She also remembers the days when Jongin was her only friend and he was the only thing she’d known, her world revolving around him and their childhood.
There were the days when his smile meant the world to her, and nothing else seemed to matter.
But then their true engagement came along and that seemed to change everything. Suddenly, Victoria was forced to grow up and the eyes of society watched them everywhere they went.
She couldn’t be Song Qian anymore, the girl who loved to live and laugh and dream. After their engagement, she had become Victoria and Jongin had become Kai. They were to marry and conjoin their family powers, living up to the name of their superiority over their society.
It wasn’t as though they had disliked each other so much that an engagement completely vandalized their relationship, but things became awkward and issues started surfacing left and right.
Their parents thought having them move in together would solve at least some of their differences, but it did no such thing.
As she dances, memories of her first argument with Jongin surfaces in her vision.
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?!”
Little Song Qian gazed at Jongin in confusion, brows wrinkled beautifully as she hooks an arm around another little boy’s. “We don’t always have to be each other’s groom and bride, Jongin.” She says. “We should play with other kids, too.”
“You don’t want to be my bride?” Jongin asked angrily, huffing.
Song Qian pouted her lips. “I want to play with them.”
“Fine!” Little Jongin shouted, turning on his heel and stomping away. “I’m tired of playing with you all the time, anyways!”
The man dancing behind her places his hands on her hips, swaying in harmony with her to the music that blasts in their ears. “You seem distracted today?” He asks Victoria.
She nods. “Reminiscing.”
He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to her ear, his breath heavy with alcohol, warming her long locks of hair. “You shouldn’t think of other guys when you’re with me.”
“Can’t help it.” She laughs dryly to herself. “Sometimes, I think he’s all I can ever think about anymore.”
She’s tipsy by the time she returns home. Jongin is sitting in the living room with a single lamp turned on, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for her. As she stumbles past him and finds her way to the kitchen, she struggles with pouring herself a glass of water.
“You’re late.”
Ignoring him, Victoria is just about ready to head straight to her room when he blocks her way.
“You went drinking.”
They are statements rather than questions, so Victoria isn’t quite sure how to respond to his comments. The alcohol has intoxicated her mind and intellectual words aren’t exactly forming correctly when she tries to come up with something to say.
“Why didn’t yo--”
Victoria throws her arms around his neck and pulls him forward, pressing their lips together forcefully. Jongin gives in easily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his body; he can feel every curve, every dip, every shake and tremble that flourishes from her.
With ease, he lifts her onto the sink counter and her mini dress rises up her thighs, allowing his hands easy access to her smooth, revealed skin.
He shivers when she sighs into their kiss, her tongue running over his bottom lip. His fingers quickly thread into her hair as he presses harder against her mouth, deepening their kiss as their breaths intensify and Victoria feels as though she cannot breath.
She feels Jongin’s hand traveling up her inner thigh and beneath her dress, raising it up further until his touch burns her skin. His lips find contact with the skin of the base of her throat, sucking on it as his fingers reach the hook of her bra.
When she feels as though she’s losing her mind, a vaguely familiar voice interrupts them.
“Jongin?”
Jongin makes no move to end their actions, but Victoria pushes at his shoulders and breaks away. Her knees instantly release their hold on either side of his waist and suddenly Jongin feels empty, as though everything he ever wanted had just left him stranded.
When she looks over, she meets eyes with the girl from earlier in the day, still standing within Jongin’s room door. She never left, even after they ventured out.
Victoria chuckles, one hand gripping her temple as it throbs in pain. “Sorry. I just needed a glass of water.”
“You don’t have to apologize to her.” Jongin tells Victoria, taking her hand and pulling it out of her hair as he rubs her temples for her affectionately. He leaves momentarily to pour her a glass of water and raises it to her lips.
She tries to take it from him to feed herself, but he refuses.
“Drinking has never been your forte. If you drop the glass ‘cause you’re drunk, I’ll be the one cleaning up the mess.”
Although she has the urge to take a glance at the girl’s reaction, she holds back on her curiosity and simply does as Jongin tells her. After she takes a drink, Jongin brushes the hair out of her eyes and helps her off the counter.
Victoria stops at the foot of the stairs. “I can make it from here.”
“I’ll ju--”
“No, Kai.” Victoria interrupts him firmly. Her tone has returned to that of cold stone. “I said I can make it to my room on my own.”
It isn’t uncommon for Victoria to wake up and find Jongin sleeping right beside her on her bed. Sometimes his arms would be curled around her waist, sometimes she would find herself buried into his chest.
Moments like these made her feel like they were truly a couple.
She’s staring into Jongin’s face, marking his features and feeling his even breathing flutter against her cheek when his lips suddenly curl at the ends and his eyes slowly open.
“Did you dream about me?”
Victoria scoffs and pulls away, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up. “No.”
Just as she tries to get up to wash her face, she feels him wrap his arms around her waist, his cheek pressed against her back. “I dreamed about you, though.” His deep voice grunts. “This isn’t the first time.”
She doesn’t know what to say and she doesn’t hug him back, despite how much she wants to.
“I tried holding her when I dreamed of you, just like the way I think of you when I sleep with her, but it’s not the same. Her body feels cold, empty, wrong; she’s nothing like you, no matter how hard I try to imagine she is.”
Victoria’s eyes are downcast. “You’re being unfair to her.”
“And exactly who is being fair to us?” Jongin asks. “Who has asked what we want? Who knows what we’re striving for in life, aside from what we show on the surface?”
“Kai--”
“Who knows that my name is Kim Jongin, and you’re Song Qian? Who knows the little girl that once loved a little boy so much that she gave her life to save him when they got in a car accident, but they lost it all because of the game called life?” Jongin asks. “Who knows that he loves her now, after she’s already let go?”
Victoria tears his arms off of herself, rushing to the door. Jongin sits up and calls out after her.
“And who knows that she doesn’t want to love him back, yet, he doesn’t even get to know the reason why?!”
“Stop!” Victoria demands. Her hand is on the doorknob but she turns to face him, eyes dangerously narrowed. “If you keep this up, if you keep bringing things up, I’ll hate you, Kai. I’ll really hate you.”
Jongin jumps to the ground and grips her by the wrist, throwing her onto the bed. He pushes her onto the mattress and pins her down, arms over her head as he straddles her with one knee on either side of her hips.
He’s glaring down at her, angry, confused.
“Let me go.” She says.
But he just keeps staring, his breath growing heavy. “I want you.”
Victoria’s breath hitches in her throat.
He cups her cheeks with his free hand, running his fingers down her jaw, over her throat and down to her collar bones. She shivers, clamping her eyes shut when his hands roam over her chest. They stop over her heart, staggering there. “You feel it too, don’t you?”
When his lips make contact with the apple of her cheek, her eyes bolt open. “Stop.”
“No.” He stubbornly replies with a flat tone. His hand snakes under her shirt, roaming up her abdomen to her bra. “Not unless you really mean it when you tell me you don’t want me.”
She turns her face to the side when he lifts her slightly to unhook her bra at the back. The heat pools into her cheeks and she wants to bury her face into a pillow. “Kai, please, stop.”
He continues caressing her, lips finding their way over every supplement of her skin that is exposed to him. She’s nearly crying, begging him to stop, but he doesn’t.
Then he freezes when he hears her whimper his name, the name he hasn’t heard from her in years. “Jongin,” she chokes, “please, don’t do this.” And then he knows just how afraid she is, of everything that they are going to become-- perhaps also of everything that they ever were.
Jongin finally releases her and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“All you have to do is ask,” he tells her, “if you ask me, as Song Qian to Kim Jongin, I’d do anything for you.”
She looks up at him, eyes brimmed with tears.
“Then let go of the past,” she says, “and embrace the future. Grow up, Jongin, and don’t make me worry about you. Make me proud, of both who you are and who you will be. Make me love you again, for what we have and will become, and not just memories of what we once were.”
He listens as she continues.
“Things have changed, Jongin,” she whispers softly, so soft he can barely hear her. “And with change comes differences that both you and I cannot control. Of these changes, our hearts are one of the many.”
“Did you guys get into another fight?”
Victoria extends her neck, fingers curled into the boy’s hair as he runs his lips down the smooth column of exposed skin. “We don’t fight. We negotiate.”
“You’re head over heels for him, Vic.” He chuckles lowly. There’s shuffling around them and Victoria can’t really remember where they are; out of instinct, she shrinks into his arms and wraps herself around him.
He makes her feel safe.
“What would he do if he knew?”
Victoria bites down on her lip, stomach curling at his hot breath. “Who knows? Get mad, maybe. Will you just shut up, Yunho?”
He pulls back, grinning into her face. Victoria leans forward for a kiss, but he holds her down. “You’re not in a very good mood today. Care to talk?”
“No.” Victoria purses her lips. “I wouldn’t, actually.”
Yunho laughs. “I’d like to listen, though.”
She sighs, pushing Yunho off of herself and organizing her clothing. Yunho settles beside her on the small office couch, throwing an arm over her shoulders. Victoria cuddles into his chest, watching as he takes her small hand into his own.
“So?”
Victoria blinks idly, putting the right words together. Somehow, the words don’t seem to fit together as well as their hands do. “I really, really like him.”
The listening man nods against the crown of her head.
“But it scares me, Yunho. Every time I look at him, he’s changing again and again. Maybe it’s just me, but he’s never constant-- not with his actions, not with his words, nothing.” Victoria tells him. “And then he says no one understands; he says that we’re so in love, but I just don’t see it.”
“What, Vic?” Yunho asks.
“Our future.” She replies. “Our parents were the same; they married for politics, bonded over work, grew old over an arrangement.”
“But they didn’t grow up together and fall in love like the two of you did,” Yunho reasons. “It’s different.”
Victoria shakes her head, turning to look Yunho in the eyes. “It’s too risky, falling in love with an arrangement. What if our love for each other was built on simple belief-- a lie that we fed to ourselves because we always knew that we’d have to marry? What if I give in to these feelings, these feelings I’ve never wanted, and I was wrong all along?”
“You’re thinking too much.” He tells her.
“No,” Victoria says. “Neither Jongin nor myself wanted this life. We didn’t want to inherit our family business and we didn’t want to form a relationship over a pact. All we ever wanted was to do what we’ve dreamed of doing all our life.”
“Like making out with people you don’t love?” Yunho teases.
Victoria nudges him with her elbow. “No matter what, the person I’ll be with until the end of my life will be Jongin. That’s how it’s always been planned to be. But I’m hurting him, Yunho. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Then let him know how you feel. Be honest.”
She laughs. “You say this, but what have you been doing to me all evening?”
Yunho grins and leans into her, taking her lips with his own. “Taking something that doesn’t belong to me. It’s exciting, you know. The risk is almost too good to resist.”
“He’ll hate you. Maybe even scheme against you.” Victoria warns him. “You might not even exist to see the next daylight.”
“You’d stop him.” Yunho says with confidence. “You care too much about me to let him have his way.”
Victoria wants to retort but her words are swallowed by him. She feels herself being pushed down onto the couch, closing her eyes as she falls.
The door to the office suddenly opens. Victoria realizes she forgot to lock the door when she came in.
“Well, would you look at this.”
Yunho sighs, sitting up and pulling Victoria up with him. “Hello, Kai.”
“I figured I would find you here. You didn’t answer any of my calls or messages.” Kai remarks, his tone venomous.
Victoria smooths out her clothing and glances over at him. “I left my phone in my office.”
The boy doesn’t even care to hear her excuse. “Mom’s looking for us.”
Yunho shrugs nonchalantly. “It was nice seeing you, Kai. And you too, Vic. We’ll talk another time, I suppose.”
A game is not fun anymore when the suspense is gone. They’ve been caught and, perhaps, that marks the end of their game. Victoria nods. “Excuse us.”
When Victoria reaches the door, Kai stops her. He peers into her face and sees the way her lipgloss is smeared across her chin. Kai lifts his thumb and swipes it across the stain, brushing it off gently.
As he’s doing so, staring at her reddened, puffy lips, he says, “A man can lose his wealth and his power, as long as he still has his woman. A woman can lose her fame and her pride, as long as she has her man. A beast with nothing will always remain a beast, but a beast who steals from a man, is an enemy instilled in crime.”
“I haven’t heard of that one before,” Yunho smiles effortlessly.
Kai then takes a deep breath, meeting eyes with Yunho. “Neither have I, until I met you today.”
At that, Kai takes Victoria's hand into his own and walks out of the office, closing the door behind him. Victoria bites her inner cheek, glancing at Kai nervously.
“You won’t touch him.” Victoria demands.
Kai does not respond.
She tugs on his arm, trying to stop his angry steps. Everyone in the office watches them, curious.
“Promise me,” Victoria insists. “You won’t do anything to Yunho.”
“And if I do?” Kai grits through his teeth, eyes hard and angry. “He was that man I saw downstairs the other day, isn’t he?”
Victoria glares back. “He did nothing wrong. If you’re going to blame someone, blame me.”
“Why would I blame you?” Kai smirks. His grip on her hand is so tight that Victoria feels as though her hand was going to explode. “I can barely even wait to spoil you with love.”
They enter the nearest storage room when the hallway is cleared.
He pushes her against the wall and corners her in, locking her there with his arms attached to the wall behind her. Victoria feels his hot lips crash into hers, hungrily gnawing at her mouth-- pulling, tugging, aching.
“If I see you with him again-- if I see him place another finger on you, ever-- Song Qian, I won’t forgive you.”
As much as she tries to push him away, he forces himself back into her.
Jongin is only more heated when she claws at his chest, her right knee shoving against his stomach in an effort to put distance between them.
I’ll hate you.
Her voice resonates in his ears, words replaying one time after another. It boils the blood in his veins and he tugs at the shoulder of her sleeve, sliding the thin cloth down her arm.
“Stop.” Victoria manages to cough during a small break.
Jongin does not stop.
“Kai, stop it!” She shouts, but she feels him pushing his body flush against hers, one hand roaming down to the button of her jeans. Victoria panics.
Just then, the door to the stall opens and light invades the darkness. A shy girl greets them with eyes wide open, a mixture of surprise and fear composing her expression.
Victoria takes the chance to shove Jongin away.
“I’m so sorry!” The young girl apologizes.
After an angry scowl, Kai rakes his fingers through his hair and pushes past her through the door. Victoria attempts to catch her breath but her legs give way beneath her and she falls to the floor.
She feels like crying out, like screaming, like driving a dagger into her own skin. Instead, she glances up at the young girl and smiles. “Don’t be.”
Victoria doesn’t thank the girl. She doesn’t tell the girl how grateful she is for her interruptance, how much she appreciates her appearance and how she’s been saved by unknowing hands. There are so many things she’d like to say, but cannot.
“So you’re actually together. Everyone thought your relationship was just for the media, but it’s actually true?”
It takes everything in Victoria not to gag at the girl’s words. She pulls herself together and lifts herself from the ground, dusting off her clothing. As she walks towards the door, she pauses briefly and leans in towards the girl’s ear.
“Pretend you didn’t see anything today,” Victoria whispers. “The consequences otherwise won’t be kind.”
The next time Victoria sees Yunho, he doesn’t even so much as touch her.
“Don’t you get tired of playing the same game over and over again?” He asks her, but Victoria just smiles, shrugs, and flips to another page of the document in her hands.
Yunho leans back in his chair, drinking out of his coffee mug. “You’re beautiful, Victoria, and continuing whatever it was that I had with you has never stopped interesting me.”
“Then why stop?” Victoria wonders aloud.
It isn’t as though she feels regretful that he won’t touch her anymore, but she’s truly curious.
Victoria wants to know what runs through the minds of men. Yunho and Kai are similar in many ways, even if they don’t seem it.
“Because I saw the way he looked at you, the way he handled you, and the way he took you away from me. It’s too real, too genuine.” Yunho says. “It’s not worth me breaking my back for. Nor losing my job.”
His words amuse her. “So you were afraid.”
“No, there’s nothing for me to be afraid of.” Yunho shakes his head from side to side. He leans closer, so that he is whispering against her ear. “If it were one sided and you didn’t care, I wouldn’t give a damn about Kai and his jealousy. But the way you returned his gaze, the way you molded yourself to fit in with him, the way you changed once he appeared, it showed me that there’s no use playing that game anymore.”
Yunho says, “When Kai is absent, and it’s just you and me, we have a game of our own. When Kai is present, and you are in his company, no matter who else is there, it’s just you and him. What does that make me?”
Her eyes widen, heartbeat racing. “I didn’t know--”
“It’s alright,” Yunho interrupts her. “I forfeited the game early enough to leave without scars.”
Victoria contemplates his words for a moment before looking him in the eyes. “Friends?”
“Maybe if you introduce me to another graceful challenge.” Yunho grins.
She can’t hide the smile that intercepts her. “I know a lot of beautiful women.”
“Good.” Yunho says, words and expression muffled by his mug. “Very good.”
Kai is just exiting the office building when Victoria steps out of the elevator. She doesn’t want to follow, but something tells her that she should.
“Kai.”
The moment he turns around, Victoria is fast walking towards him, fingers curled around the strap of the purse hanging off of her shoulder. Like this, Victoria looks so small. “Qian?”
Her breaths escape her lips in the form of clouds, eyes glinting in the evening sky lights. “Are you...” she mutters, but she really isn’t sure how to say what she’s thinking.
“What?” He asks.
They stare into each other’s eyes, awkward.
To be completely honest, Kai doesn’t expect much of the girl anymore. He knows that she loves him, he knows that she’ll never leave him, and he knows how much she needs him. Though simply knowing is not enough, it’s still more than he can ask of her.
“Are you still seeing Jimin?”
The question catches him off guard and Kai barks out a laugh. “What?”
Her cheeks fill in with red and she secretly blames it on the cold, cold weather. “No, well, I mean...” she stutters, but nothing intelligent comes to mind. “Yunho was telling me that I--”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” Kai immediately frowns.
Victoria is temporarily rooted to the ground when Kai starts walking away again.
And then the whole world comes to a stop when Kai feels cold fingers wrap around his own, weaving into the creases of his hand. Her fingers fit perfectly with his, and he feels so warm when she leans into his side.
They have never been so willingly intimate before, not even in front of the eyes of the media.
Victoria smiles into his eyes, lips curled at the ends into a beautiful arch. “Let’s eat at home today. I’ll make you something. Pasta? You loved pasta when we were little.”
“I don’t like pasta anymore. I like tofu now.” Kai says with an edge in his tone, but the grin dancing on his lips is something he can’t hide, no matter how hard he tries.
She laughs. “Oh? Then I’ll make tofu.”
Kai looks down at the ground, eyes softened and lips stretched in happiness. He squeezes her hand and pulls it into his jacket pocket, wanting to keep her warm the way she’s warming up his heart.
He stops breathing altogether when he feels her reach up to press her lips against his cheek.
“I’ll master tofu, and then I’ll make it for you every day.”
Kai feels his chest numbing, his heart about to burst. It’s like when they were kids all over again, playing the role of wife and husband during house. He nods eagerly, the darkening eve suddenly brightening in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I’d like that.”
END
-----
A/N: Kaitoria! Kind of a big Victoria OTP for me. I don't really know why. Probably because of cultofbulls' posts on Tumblr? And the f(x) Jet rehearsal vid where EXO is watching in the background? Dunno. Anyhow, I really like this couple. ^______^ Thank you to those of you who read this!!!
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Drama, Romance,
Disclaimer: Nothing is mine but the writing.
Summary: There are a lot of things in this world that cannot be exposed to the public eye and ear; secrets, affairs, crimes of many sorts. Theirs, though, may be an exception.
He remembers, all those years ago, when they were children who barely knew the meaning of anguish and turmoil; when games consisted of toys and laughter; when they played in the snow and she was covered in the white flakes of winter, reflecting beautifully of their innocence and childish ignorance.
Most of all, he remembers her smile-- raw and genuine, pure like an angel’s.
“Jongin.”
This voice is strange in his ears, unfamiliar, and he’s pulled out of his memories. “Yeah?” He grunts in response.
Nails dig into his back, long legs wrap around his waist. She pulls him closer, tighter against herself, and he feels her hot breath against his neck when she whimpers against his skin. “I’m close.”
Every second passes with much effort and Jongin lets his eyelids fall so that darkness can consume him as he gives his final pushes. When everything blasts white and he feels his energy pool out from his body, he falls over on the bed and listens to the uneven breathing from the girl beside him.
“Jongin.” She whispers affectionately.
His name is awkward on her tongue.
“Jo--”
Before she can say his name again, he leans over and engulfs her lips with his own. The kiss is quick, effortless, and by the time she realizes that he’s pulled away, Jongin is already walking out the room door.
Something about the aftermath of their intercourse always leaves her feeling empty, even though she had been filled with so much of Jongin.
Then it dawns on her, minutes later every time, that he never once says her name.
Sometimes she wonders if he even knows who she is.
The kitchen is dark when she comes down the flight of stairs to the first floor.
Not expecting anyone there, she flips the light on and is just about ready to walk over to the refrigerator when she catches sight of Jongin drinking out of a glass full of water. She tries to smile fondly, but it doesn’t quite reach her eyes.
“It’s cold. You really should at least have a shirt on.”
Jongin scoffs, setting his cup down on the table. He’s a mess, he knows, because no one ever looks decent fresh out of sex. “You almost sound like you actually care, Qian.”
She shrugs and pulls the fridge open, reaching for a carton of milk and pouring it into a clean glass. “I do care. If you catch a cold, the media will be on my tail.”
Just as she sets the milk carton into the fridge, she sees Jongin reach for her glass and drink out of it nonchalantly. Victoria inwardly scowls, but decides not to comment. “They’ll be on your tail regardless.” He says. “I’m sure they saw me bring Jimin in.”
“Your scandals are easy to deal with. My negligence as a thoughtful and caring fiancee, though, is not so easy to shed off.” Victoria replies with ease. “Especially when the world thinks you’re so in love with me.”
“If you were any cuter, it could be a fact.” Jongin remarks.
His lips curl into a smirk, much too arrogant for Victoria’s liking. “I think I’ll pass on that one. I’m sure your many dates are enough to suffice for my lack of interest.”
Jongin laughs, stepping forward and pressing his lips against hers gently. She can taste the milk from his breath, mingling with hers intimately. “Hardly,” he comments smugly.
“Don’t kiss me after you’ve just had sex with someone else.” Victoria grimaces. She backs away from him, hands shoving at his bare chest.
He grins. “Jealous?”
“Hygienic.” She corrects. “I fancy the thought that not kissing your fiancee with tainted lips is simple common courtesy.”
Jongin nods. “I’ll keep that in mind next time.”
“Good.” She breathes, biting down on her bottom lip as she glances at the cup of milk one last time. Abandoning her drink, she turns and readies herself to return to her room when she feels strong fingers wrap around her wrist, pulling her back.
When she’s forced around, she’s greeted with Jongin’s suddenly narrowed eyes. “Who was that guy you were with yesterday morning?”
“Who?” Victoria asks innocently.
Jongin is unconvinced by her act of ignorance. “I saw you. He picked you up downstairs and even kissed your cheek.”
“Playing investigator now?” Victoria mocks. “I’m sorry, I thought we grew up.”
“Just answer the question.” He demands.
Victoria pointedly raises a brow. “It’s none of your business.”
“I’m your fiance.” Jongin remarks.
“And I’m yours, but do I question your affairs?” Victoria retorts. Jongin is rendered speechless. “We are nothing more than an engagement by name. What happens to us under the tables and away from the public has absolutely nothing to do with one another. Now, if you would excuse me, I have your scandal to clear up.”
“Qian--”
Victoria stops him, staring him in the eyes. “We’re not children anymore, Kai. When we were younger, we could play house and stand by each other like guardians, like friends. Right now, we actually are engaged and we have responsibilities. It is my responsibility to love you, to protect you, to be with you. As far as my responsibilities go, I can say I’ve played my part well. I always have, ever since we were kids, haven’t I?”
He doesn’t utter a sound.
“You’ve always been bad at this game, though.” Victoria snidely comments. “You still are.”
“Maybe it’s because this has never been a game to me.” He argues. “Maybe you are the only one treating this as though it were just childs play.”
Victoria takes a deep breath. “You haven’t proved to me otherwise.”
His door creaks open and a fresh face pops out from the darkness, glancing around.
“Jongin?”
“She’s calling for you.” Victoria scoffs. “Things never do change.”
Before Jongin can speak another word, Victoria approaches the girl at the door. “Hi,” she greets warmly, a smile plastered on her face. The girl is obviously flustered. “I’m Victoria Song. I suppose you probably are familiar with at least my title.”
“Yes,” the girl replies. “How could I not recognize the fashion mogul’s daughter?”
Victoria wills her smile not to falter. “Perfect. I don’t mean to cause you any disturbance, but in order to keep Kai’s image and reputation up to par, I must request that we take a short trip out to the mall tomorrow afternoon. You should stay over tonight; it’s much too late for a beautiful girl like you to wander outside.”
“She’ll be fine.” Jongin comments.
“If you’d like, you could stay with Jongin tonight. If not, we can have a spare room prepared for you.” Victoria says, ignoring Jongin’s words. “Your choice.”
“I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t ha--”
Victoria laughs. “Don’t be silly,” she says, “you shouldn’t be sorry.”
At that, she bows slightly before making her way to the stairs and returning to her room on the second level. Jimin watches as Victoria leaves, and there is an unspoken sadness that fills her heart.
She glances over at Jongin, who is still watching Victoria’s shadow, and it suddenly becomes clear.
“You should go after her.”
Jongin’s eyes flicker over to her, and they are filled with emptiness. “It wouldn’t make a difference.” He says. “She’s too far ahead of the game.”
“So she’s lost sight of you.” Jimin says, filling in the blanks for him.
He can’t seem to agree or disagree with Jimin’s theory. Jongin simply returns his gaze to the staircase, wondering what it was between the years that kept them going strong. “Maybe I was the one who lost track of her first, somewhere along the way.”
To be honest, Victoria doesn’t know why she tolerates such behavior from Jongin.
In actuality, she has every right to tell Jongin that he needs to clean up his act. No matter how she thinks of it, there is no valid explanation for the way he’s acting-- they both grew up in this environment, knowing that someday they would have to carry to burden of their family name on their shoulders.
Jongin shouldn’t be so reckless; neither should he be so careless.
If he was going to play, he should play smart. With brutal schedules like theirs, it isn’t hard to find themselves immersed into their private lives of drinking and partying; gaming wildly and wasting away time that they cannot afford.
Unlike Jongin, Victoria could control herself and not be caught.
Sometimes, she wondered if Jongin even cared to worry.
“You two don’t seem to care for each other the way they report in the papers.”
Victoria takes another sip out of her milk tea, flipping through dresses and blouses on the clothing racks of the expensive brand name clothing shop. “Is that so?”
“Why are you bringing me out?” Jimin asks.
The shirt Victoria pulls out is slightly too baggy for her taste, but she holds it out in front of the stranger standing before her and it seems to suit her perfectly. “Showing the world how loyal Kai is to me.”
“What?”
She hands the shirt to an employee and continues browsing the clothing selection. “The story about you from now on is that we are good friends and Kai picked you up and brought you to our residence to meet up with me. For me, his fiancee, Kim Jongin, son of one of the most brilliant senate’s of the country, is even willing to become the chauffeur for his beloved’s closest friend.”
“You’re covering for him?” The girl asks in bewilderment.
Victoria pauses and turns to look her in the eyes, seemingly confused. “I always have.”
“You’re scary.” The stranger tells her. “Why would you be willing to cover for your fiancee’s affair? Are you even aware of what you’re doing?”
“I’m perfectly aware.” Victoria replies calmly. “Much too clear, as a matter of fact, but if you have so little dignity as to meddling with a man who’s already engaged, then why should I worry about how unintelligent it is to cover for the man who is engaged to me?”
“I’m not--”
“It doesn’t matter.” Victoria tells her. “From now on, we just need to play our parts. We all have our little secrets; I’m just better at keeping his for him than he is.”
The girl purses her lips. “You must really love Jongin.”
“Not enough.” Victoria shrugs nonchalantly. She chooses a couple more outfits and follows the shop employee to the register, pulling out her credit card and paying for the bill. “I’ve never quite loved him enough.”
Not enough to stop him from loving others; not enough to stop herself from hurting the both of them. Victoria’s never felt sufficient enough to love Jongin. If anything, she loved the memories of their past more.
After checking out, she happily hands the bags over to the girl.
“These are for you. In the future, if you are to be seen with Kai in public again, I hope you can wear these clothes I have bought for you today.”
Cautiously, the girl accepts the bags and narrows her eyes. “Why?”
“I’ve chosen clothes that are appropriate to be seen in public with. These clothing are neither too exposing, nor unappealing to the eyes. They compliment you well and I’m sure you’ll look fantastic in them. That way, the media won’t suspect Kai of mingling with girls outside of my circle and we won’t have to worry about them digging too deeply into your personal life. If they believe you are one of us, they won’t find much interest in you,” Victoria explains simply. “It is in your best interest.”
“I don’t know how you do it.” Jimin admits. “Dressing up a stranger and covering for her while knowing full well that she’s sleeping with your fiance, that is.”
Victoria smiles politely. “It was a pleasure meeting you too, Jimin.”
Victoria was never the sophisticated type.
She admits to her past; of days when snowfall was her only joy and rainfall was her only pain. She also remembers the days when Jongin was her only friend and he was the only thing she’d known, her world revolving around him and their childhood.
There were the days when his smile meant the world to her, and nothing else seemed to matter.
But then their true engagement came along and that seemed to change everything. Suddenly, Victoria was forced to grow up and the eyes of society watched them everywhere they went.
She couldn’t be Song Qian anymore, the girl who loved to live and laugh and dream. After their engagement, she had become Victoria and Jongin had become Kai. They were to marry and conjoin their family powers, living up to the name of their superiority over their society.
It wasn’t as though they had disliked each other so much that an engagement completely vandalized their relationship, but things became awkward and issues started surfacing left and right.
Their parents thought having them move in together would solve at least some of their differences, but it did no such thing.
As she dances, memories of her first argument with Jongin surfaces in her vision.
“What do you mean it doesn’t matter?!”
Little Song Qian gazed at Jongin in confusion, brows wrinkled beautifully as she hooks an arm around another little boy’s. “We don’t always have to be each other’s groom and bride, Jongin.” She says. “We should play with other kids, too.”
“You don’t want to be my bride?” Jongin asked angrily, huffing.
Song Qian pouted her lips. “I want to play with them.”
“Fine!” Little Jongin shouted, turning on his heel and stomping away. “I’m tired of playing with you all the time, anyways!”
The man dancing behind her places his hands on her hips, swaying in harmony with her to the music that blasts in their ears. “You seem distracted today?” He asks Victoria.
She nods. “Reminiscing.”
He leans forward and presses a soft kiss to her ear, his breath heavy with alcohol, warming her long locks of hair. “You shouldn’t think of other guys when you’re with me.”
“Can’t help it.” She laughs dryly to herself. “Sometimes, I think he’s all I can ever think about anymore.”
She’s tipsy by the time she returns home. Jongin is sitting in the living room with a single lamp turned on, arms crossed over his chest as he waits for her. As she stumbles past him and finds her way to the kitchen, she struggles with pouring herself a glass of water.
“You’re late.”
Ignoring him, Victoria is just about ready to head straight to her room when he blocks her way.
“You went drinking.”
They are statements rather than questions, so Victoria isn’t quite sure how to respond to his comments. The alcohol has intoxicated her mind and intellectual words aren’t exactly forming correctly when she tries to come up with something to say.
“Why didn’t yo--”
Victoria throws her arms around his neck and pulls him forward, pressing their lips together forcefully. Jongin gives in easily, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her flush against his body; he can feel every curve, every dip, every shake and tremble that flourishes from her.
With ease, he lifts her onto the sink counter and her mini dress rises up her thighs, allowing his hands easy access to her smooth, revealed skin.
He shivers when she sighs into their kiss, her tongue running over his bottom lip. His fingers quickly thread into her hair as he presses harder against her mouth, deepening their kiss as their breaths intensify and Victoria feels as though she cannot breath.
She feels Jongin’s hand traveling up her inner thigh and beneath her dress, raising it up further until his touch burns her skin. His lips find contact with the skin of the base of her throat, sucking on it as his fingers reach the hook of her bra.
When she feels as though she’s losing her mind, a vaguely familiar voice interrupts them.
“Jongin?”
Jongin makes no move to end their actions, but Victoria pushes at his shoulders and breaks away. Her knees instantly release their hold on either side of his waist and suddenly Jongin feels empty, as though everything he ever wanted had just left him stranded.
When she looks over, she meets eyes with the girl from earlier in the day, still standing within Jongin’s room door. She never left, even after they ventured out.
Victoria chuckles, one hand gripping her temple as it throbs in pain. “Sorry. I just needed a glass of water.”
“You don’t have to apologize to her.” Jongin tells Victoria, taking her hand and pulling it out of her hair as he rubs her temples for her affectionately. He leaves momentarily to pour her a glass of water and raises it to her lips.
She tries to take it from him to feed herself, but he refuses.
“Drinking has never been your forte. If you drop the glass ‘cause you’re drunk, I’ll be the one cleaning up the mess.”
Although she has the urge to take a glance at the girl’s reaction, she holds back on her curiosity and simply does as Jongin tells her. After she takes a drink, Jongin brushes the hair out of her eyes and helps her off the counter.
Victoria stops at the foot of the stairs. “I can make it from here.”
“I’ll ju--”
“No, Kai.” Victoria interrupts him firmly. Her tone has returned to that of cold stone. “I said I can make it to my room on my own.”
It isn’t uncommon for Victoria to wake up and find Jongin sleeping right beside her on her bed. Sometimes his arms would be curled around her waist, sometimes she would find herself buried into his chest.
Moments like these made her feel like they were truly a couple.
She’s staring into Jongin’s face, marking his features and feeling his even breathing flutter against her cheek when his lips suddenly curl at the ends and his eyes slowly open.
“Did you dream about me?”
Victoria scoffs and pulls away, throwing her legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up. “No.”
Just as she tries to get up to wash her face, she feels him wrap his arms around her waist, his cheek pressed against her back. “I dreamed about you, though.” His deep voice grunts. “This isn’t the first time.”
She doesn’t know what to say and she doesn’t hug him back, despite how much she wants to.
“I tried holding her when I dreamed of you, just like the way I think of you when I sleep with her, but it’s not the same. Her body feels cold, empty, wrong; she’s nothing like you, no matter how hard I try to imagine she is.”
Victoria’s eyes are downcast. “You’re being unfair to her.”
“And exactly who is being fair to us?” Jongin asks. “Who has asked what we want? Who knows what we’re striving for in life, aside from what we show on the surface?”
“Kai--”
“Who knows that my name is Kim Jongin, and you’re Song Qian? Who knows the little girl that once loved a little boy so much that she gave her life to save him when they got in a car accident, but they lost it all because of the game called life?” Jongin asks. “Who knows that he loves her now, after she’s already let go?”
Victoria tears his arms off of herself, rushing to the door. Jongin sits up and calls out after her.
“And who knows that she doesn’t want to love him back, yet, he doesn’t even get to know the reason why?!”
“Stop!” Victoria demands. Her hand is on the doorknob but she turns to face him, eyes dangerously narrowed. “If you keep this up, if you keep bringing things up, I’ll hate you, Kai. I’ll really hate you.”
Jongin jumps to the ground and grips her by the wrist, throwing her onto the bed. He pushes her onto the mattress and pins her down, arms over her head as he straddles her with one knee on either side of her hips.
He’s glaring down at her, angry, confused.
“Let me go.” She says.
But he just keeps staring, his breath growing heavy. “I want you.”
Victoria’s breath hitches in her throat.
He cups her cheeks with his free hand, running his fingers down her jaw, over her throat and down to her collar bones. She shivers, clamping her eyes shut when his hands roam over her chest. They stop over her heart, staggering there. “You feel it too, don’t you?”
When his lips make contact with the apple of her cheek, her eyes bolt open. “Stop.”
“No.” He stubbornly replies with a flat tone. His hand snakes under her shirt, roaming up her abdomen to her bra. “Not unless you really mean it when you tell me you don’t want me.”
She turns her face to the side when he lifts her slightly to unhook her bra at the back. The heat pools into her cheeks and she wants to bury her face into a pillow. “Kai, please, stop.”
He continues caressing her, lips finding their way over every supplement of her skin that is exposed to him. She’s nearly crying, begging him to stop, but he doesn’t.
Then he freezes when he hears her whimper his name, the name he hasn’t heard from her in years. “Jongin,” she chokes, “please, don’t do this.” And then he knows just how afraid she is, of everything that they are going to become-- perhaps also of everything that they ever were.
Jongin finally releases her and presses a gentle kiss to her forehead.
“All you have to do is ask,” he tells her, “if you ask me, as Song Qian to Kim Jongin, I’d do anything for you.”
She looks up at him, eyes brimmed with tears.
“Then let go of the past,” she says, “and embrace the future. Grow up, Jongin, and don’t make me worry about you. Make me proud, of both who you are and who you will be. Make me love you again, for what we have and will become, and not just memories of what we once were.”
He listens as she continues.
“Things have changed, Jongin,” she whispers softly, so soft he can barely hear her. “And with change comes differences that both you and I cannot control. Of these changes, our hearts are one of the many.”
“Did you guys get into another fight?”
Victoria extends her neck, fingers curled into the boy’s hair as he runs his lips down the smooth column of exposed skin. “We don’t fight. We negotiate.”
“You’re head over heels for him, Vic.” He chuckles lowly. There’s shuffling around them and Victoria can’t really remember where they are; out of instinct, she shrinks into his arms and wraps herself around him.
He makes her feel safe.
“What would he do if he knew?”
Victoria bites down on her lip, stomach curling at his hot breath. “Who knows? Get mad, maybe. Will you just shut up, Yunho?”
He pulls back, grinning into her face. Victoria leans forward for a kiss, but he holds her down. “You’re not in a very good mood today. Care to talk?”
“No.” Victoria purses her lips. “I wouldn’t, actually.”
Yunho laughs. “I’d like to listen, though.”
She sighs, pushing Yunho off of herself and organizing her clothing. Yunho settles beside her on the small office couch, throwing an arm over her shoulders. Victoria cuddles into his chest, watching as he takes her small hand into his own.
“So?”
Victoria blinks idly, putting the right words together. Somehow, the words don’t seem to fit together as well as their hands do. “I really, really like him.”
The listening man nods against the crown of her head.
“But it scares me, Yunho. Every time I look at him, he’s changing again and again. Maybe it’s just me, but he’s never constant-- not with his actions, not with his words, nothing.” Victoria tells him. “And then he says no one understands; he says that we’re so in love, but I just don’t see it.”
“What, Vic?” Yunho asks.
“Our future.” She replies. “Our parents were the same; they married for politics, bonded over work, grew old over an arrangement.”
“But they didn’t grow up together and fall in love like the two of you did,” Yunho reasons. “It’s different.”
Victoria shakes her head, turning to look Yunho in the eyes. “It’s too risky, falling in love with an arrangement. What if our love for each other was built on simple belief-- a lie that we fed to ourselves because we always knew that we’d have to marry? What if I give in to these feelings, these feelings I’ve never wanted, and I was wrong all along?”
“You’re thinking too much.” He tells her.
“No,” Victoria says. “Neither Jongin nor myself wanted this life. We didn’t want to inherit our family business and we didn’t want to form a relationship over a pact. All we ever wanted was to do what we’ve dreamed of doing all our life.”
“Like making out with people you don’t love?” Yunho teases.
Victoria nudges him with her elbow. “No matter what, the person I’ll be with until the end of my life will be Jongin. That’s how it’s always been planned to be. But I’m hurting him, Yunho. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Then let him know how you feel. Be honest.”
She laughs. “You say this, but what have you been doing to me all evening?”
Yunho grins and leans into her, taking her lips with his own. “Taking something that doesn’t belong to me. It’s exciting, you know. The risk is almost too good to resist.”
“He’ll hate you. Maybe even scheme against you.” Victoria warns him. “You might not even exist to see the next daylight.”
“You’d stop him.” Yunho says with confidence. “You care too much about me to let him have his way.”
Victoria wants to retort but her words are swallowed by him. She feels herself being pushed down onto the couch, closing her eyes as she falls.
The door to the office suddenly opens. Victoria realizes she forgot to lock the door when she came in.
“Well, would you look at this.”
Yunho sighs, sitting up and pulling Victoria up with him. “Hello, Kai.”
“I figured I would find you here. You didn’t answer any of my calls or messages.” Kai remarks, his tone venomous.
Victoria smooths out her clothing and glances over at him. “I left my phone in my office.”
The boy doesn’t even care to hear her excuse. “Mom’s looking for us.”
Yunho shrugs nonchalantly. “It was nice seeing you, Kai. And you too, Vic. We’ll talk another time, I suppose.”
A game is not fun anymore when the suspense is gone. They’ve been caught and, perhaps, that marks the end of their game. Victoria nods. “Excuse us.”
When Victoria reaches the door, Kai stops her. He peers into her face and sees the way her lipgloss is smeared across her chin. Kai lifts his thumb and swipes it across the stain, brushing it off gently.
As he’s doing so, staring at her reddened, puffy lips, he says, “A man can lose his wealth and his power, as long as he still has his woman. A woman can lose her fame and her pride, as long as she has her man. A beast with nothing will always remain a beast, but a beast who steals from a man, is an enemy instilled in crime.”
“I haven’t heard of that one before,” Yunho smiles effortlessly.
Kai then takes a deep breath, meeting eyes with Yunho. “Neither have I, until I met you today.”
At that, Kai takes Victoria's hand into his own and walks out of the office, closing the door behind him. Victoria bites her inner cheek, glancing at Kai nervously.
“You won’t touch him.” Victoria demands.
Kai does not respond.
She tugs on his arm, trying to stop his angry steps. Everyone in the office watches them, curious.
“Promise me,” Victoria insists. “You won’t do anything to Yunho.”
“And if I do?” Kai grits through his teeth, eyes hard and angry. “He was that man I saw downstairs the other day, isn’t he?”
Victoria glares back. “He did nothing wrong. If you’re going to blame someone, blame me.”
“Why would I blame you?” Kai smirks. His grip on her hand is so tight that Victoria feels as though her hand was going to explode. “I can barely even wait to spoil you with love.”
They enter the nearest storage room when the hallway is cleared.
He pushes her against the wall and corners her in, locking her there with his arms attached to the wall behind her. Victoria feels his hot lips crash into hers, hungrily gnawing at her mouth-- pulling, tugging, aching.
“If I see you with him again-- if I see him place another finger on you, ever-- Song Qian, I won’t forgive you.”
As much as she tries to push him away, he forces himself back into her.
Jongin is only more heated when she claws at his chest, her right knee shoving against his stomach in an effort to put distance between them.
I’ll hate you.
Her voice resonates in his ears, words replaying one time after another. It boils the blood in his veins and he tugs at the shoulder of her sleeve, sliding the thin cloth down her arm.
“Stop.” Victoria manages to cough during a small break.
Jongin does not stop.
“Kai, stop it!” She shouts, but she feels him pushing his body flush against hers, one hand roaming down to the button of her jeans. Victoria panics.
Just then, the door to the stall opens and light invades the darkness. A shy girl greets them with eyes wide open, a mixture of surprise and fear composing her expression.
Victoria takes the chance to shove Jongin away.
“I’m so sorry!” The young girl apologizes.
After an angry scowl, Kai rakes his fingers through his hair and pushes past her through the door. Victoria attempts to catch her breath but her legs give way beneath her and she falls to the floor.
She feels like crying out, like screaming, like driving a dagger into her own skin. Instead, she glances up at the young girl and smiles. “Don’t be.”
Victoria doesn’t thank the girl. She doesn’t tell the girl how grateful she is for her interruptance, how much she appreciates her appearance and how she’s been saved by unknowing hands. There are so many things she’d like to say, but cannot.
“So you’re actually together. Everyone thought your relationship was just for the media, but it’s actually true?”
It takes everything in Victoria not to gag at the girl’s words. She pulls herself together and lifts herself from the ground, dusting off her clothing. As she walks towards the door, she pauses briefly and leans in towards the girl’s ear.
“Pretend you didn’t see anything today,” Victoria whispers. “The consequences otherwise won’t be kind.”
The next time Victoria sees Yunho, he doesn’t even so much as touch her.
“Don’t you get tired of playing the same game over and over again?” He asks her, but Victoria just smiles, shrugs, and flips to another page of the document in her hands.
Yunho leans back in his chair, drinking out of his coffee mug. “You’re beautiful, Victoria, and continuing whatever it was that I had with you has never stopped interesting me.”
“Then why stop?” Victoria wonders aloud.
It isn’t as though she feels regretful that he won’t touch her anymore, but she’s truly curious.
Victoria wants to know what runs through the minds of men. Yunho and Kai are similar in many ways, even if they don’t seem it.
“Because I saw the way he looked at you, the way he handled you, and the way he took you away from me. It’s too real, too genuine.” Yunho says. “It’s not worth me breaking my back for. Nor losing my job.”
His words amuse her. “So you were afraid.”
“No, there’s nothing for me to be afraid of.” Yunho shakes his head from side to side. He leans closer, so that he is whispering against her ear. “If it were one sided and you didn’t care, I wouldn’t give a damn about Kai and his jealousy. But the way you returned his gaze, the way you molded yourself to fit in with him, the way you changed once he appeared, it showed me that there’s no use playing that game anymore.”
Yunho says, “When Kai is absent, and it’s just you and me, we have a game of our own. When Kai is present, and you are in his company, no matter who else is there, it’s just you and him. What does that make me?”
Her eyes widen, heartbeat racing. “I didn’t know--”
“It’s alright,” Yunho interrupts her. “I forfeited the game early enough to leave without scars.”
Victoria contemplates his words for a moment before looking him in the eyes. “Friends?”
“Maybe if you introduce me to another graceful challenge.” Yunho grins.
She can’t hide the smile that intercepts her. “I know a lot of beautiful women.”
“Good.” Yunho says, words and expression muffled by his mug. “Very good.”
Kai is just exiting the office building when Victoria steps out of the elevator. She doesn’t want to follow, but something tells her that she should.
“Kai.”
The moment he turns around, Victoria is fast walking towards him, fingers curled around the strap of the purse hanging off of her shoulder. Like this, Victoria looks so small. “Qian?”
Her breaths escape her lips in the form of clouds, eyes glinting in the evening sky lights. “Are you...” she mutters, but she really isn’t sure how to say what she’s thinking.
“What?” He asks.
They stare into each other’s eyes, awkward.
To be completely honest, Kai doesn’t expect much of the girl anymore. He knows that she loves him, he knows that she’ll never leave him, and he knows how much she needs him. Though simply knowing is not enough, it’s still more than he can ask of her.
“Are you still seeing Jimin?”
The question catches him off guard and Kai barks out a laugh. “What?”
Her cheeks fill in with red and she secretly blames it on the cold, cold weather. “No, well, I mean...” she stutters, but nothing intelligent comes to mind. “Yunho was telling me that I--”
“I don’t want to talk about him.” Kai immediately frowns.
Victoria is temporarily rooted to the ground when Kai starts walking away again.
And then the whole world comes to a stop when Kai feels cold fingers wrap around his own, weaving into the creases of his hand. Her fingers fit perfectly with his, and he feels so warm when she leans into his side.
They have never been so willingly intimate before, not even in front of the eyes of the media.
Victoria smiles into his eyes, lips curled at the ends into a beautiful arch. “Let’s eat at home today. I’ll make you something. Pasta? You loved pasta when we were little.”
“I don’t like pasta anymore. I like tofu now.” Kai says with an edge in his tone, but the grin dancing on his lips is something he can’t hide, no matter how hard he tries.
She laughs. “Oh? Then I’ll make tofu.”
Kai looks down at the ground, eyes softened and lips stretched in happiness. He squeezes her hand and pulls it into his jacket pocket, wanting to keep her warm the way she’s warming up his heart.
He stops breathing altogether when he feels her reach up to press her lips against his cheek.
“I’ll master tofu, and then I’ll make it for you every day.”
Kai feels his chest numbing, his heart about to burst. It’s like when they were kids all over again, playing the role of wife and husband during house. He nods eagerly, the darkening eve suddenly brightening in his eyes.
“Yeah,” he laughs. “I’d like that.”
END
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A/N: Kaitoria! Kind of a big Victoria OTP for me. I don't really know why. Probably because of cultofbulls' posts on Tumblr? And the f(x) Jet rehearsal vid where EXO is watching in the background? Dunno. Anyhow, I really like this couple. ^______^ Thank you to those of you who read this!!!