My First Fic ... Thumbs up or down?
My first attempt at writing fic. Comments would be greatly appreciated.
Title: You Love Him Don't You
Timeline: Post epsiode 202
Characters: Brian/Justin
Summary: Brian is forced to admit to himself his feelings for Justin.
Thanks to
kinnetikart for her encouragement and support.
You Love Him Don't You
A lone tear trickled down the blond boy’s beautiful face. Brian slid closer to Justin and carefully wrapped his strong arms around him to calm his trembling. Even after all these months, Justin still had nightmares about the night that had forever changed both their lives. Foolishly perhaps, Brian had thought their tender love making the night before had moved Justin past the trauma of the bashing...finally putting the horrific visions to rest. But tonight, Brian had been forced to acknowledge that Justin had not completely healed yet, not his mind, nor his body. It made Brian angry to think about the irrevocable damage that had been done to his fair haired lover. Even Justin’s mother realized that her sweet little boy would never be the same again. His innocence, the invincibility of his youth, was forever gone with one swift blow to the head. And now, so it seemed, Brian was responsible for healing him. But how could he fix the broken boy, when he didn’t even know how to fix himself?
Brian pondered about the blond in his bed, who was now sleeping soundly. He remembered that fateful night with clarity. Brian had genuinely felt happy. As he gazed into Justin's blue eyes in the parking garage, he saw the love and adoration reflected there. He remembered hesitating, then closing his eyes, and finally surrendering to his own feelings. Feelings he had never experienced before. It both excited him, and scared him shitless. That indescribable kiss gave Brian the courage to think about a future with his young blond angel. Then, in an instant, a monster named Hobbs, took it all away.
The following day...
Tonight when Michael called and begged him to meet the gang at Woody’s, he almost said no. He knew that Justin was still afraid to be by himself, despite his false bravado. But fuck it, he wasn’t Justin’s babysitter, and they weren’t married. Instead, he told Michael yes. He almost changed his mind though, when he saw the scared, somewhat panicked look on Justin’s face. To his credit, Justin had covered nicely by planting a small smile on his face while proclaiming “It’s about time you hang out with friends your own age!” So now, why did he feel like such a shit for leaving?
At Woody’s, Michael of course was his usual annoying self, whining to Brian about how he never came out anymore. Lecturing him on how he didn’t need to sacrifice his life and friends for the Boy Wonder, just because he felt guilty. For all the years that they had known each other, his best friend was sometimes clueless as to what Brian’s true feelings were.
Justin’s POV
Justin knew he was being selfish to think that Brian would stay home another night with him. After all, as Brian would say, they weren’t boyfriends, they were both single and free to come and go as they please. But Justin knew that Brian was different now. After the bashing, he had somehow changed. Brian had started to act suspiciously like a boyfriend, holding hands with him, calling to let him know what time he would be home. Justin thought maybe, just maybe, Brian Kinney really did care about him. To his delightful surprise, Brian came home early that night, and spent the rest of the evening with Justin. They watched old movies, and affectionately bantered back and forth on their different takes on the endings.
Justin woke up early the next morning, and couldn’t help but watch Brian as he slept. The man was astonishingly beautiful. As he was appraising Brian, his blissful thoughts were soon intruded upon. No matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts away lately, his mind always seemed to drift to the night of the prom. Justin can’t help but feel a great sense of loss since he can’t remember anything that happened that night. He thinks something else happened that night....something to do with Brian. As many times as he’s tried, he still can’t recall anything, which only serves to frustrate him more. Daphne had said they were amazing!
Brian’s POV
Brian looked down at his empty bed. How the hell did this happen? Justin was living with him one minute, and then the next he was gone. When Justin asked him, “Why am I here?”, Brian honestly couldn’t answer. He had a mess of emotions jumbled up inside of him. Brian had truly wanted to speak, try to assure Justin it wasn’t just the guilt...but tell him what?? That’s precisely why Brian had opted to remain silent, and in doing so, was forced to watch helplessly as Justin packed up his stuff, and headed out the door.
Justin’s POV
Justin was crushed. He knew he just had to get out of the loft. It didn’t matter that it was midnight, that it was pouring outside, or that he was getting soaked, because at that point, he was just plain numb. He couldn’t feel anything other than despair. The truth was out in the open, Brian really didn’t care about him. Michael had been right. He had only taken Justin in out of guilt. Damn Michael! He never wanted them together in the first place!
The next night...
I’m sitting here in this sleazy bar, with my surrogate mother, the one and only Debbie Novotny. She’s glaring at me, and giving me hell for hurting her Sunshine. But then, amidst the chastising, in true Debbie fashion, she cuts through all the crap, and asks me, no, she tells me “You love him, don’t you?” Wow, her words hit me with tremendous force. The walls start to crumble, as I realize I can’t deny my feelings any longer. I miss him...in my bed, and in my life. I’m miserable without him. I guess this is what love must feel like... I put my chin down on my hands and let out a sigh of defeat. I can’t escape the impact of her words.
As I leave the bar, shaken by my revelation, I think of Justin. How I never tire of him, how his silly childlike enthusiasm makes me smile, how I could hold him in my arms forever, and how much it physically hurts when he is not around. I then know what I have to do. I have to somehow make him understand how important he is to me. I muster all my courage and stalk into Babylon. I spot him immediately and go up to him. He looks shocked that I am here. I look at him and get ready to say my piece. I begin with “You were right...”
Title: You Love Him Don't You
Timeline: Post epsiode 202
Characters: Brian/Justin
Summary: Brian is forced to admit to himself his feelings for Justin.
Thanks to
kinnetikart for her encouragement and support.
You Love Him Don't You
A lone tear trickled down the blond boy’s beautiful face. Brian slid closer to Justin and carefully wrapped his strong arms around him to calm his trembling. Even after all these months, Justin still had nightmares about the night that had forever changed both their lives. Foolishly perhaps, Brian had thought their tender love making the night before had moved Justin past the trauma of the bashing...finally putting the horrific visions to rest. But tonight, Brian had been forced to acknowledge that Justin had not completely healed yet, not his mind, nor his body. It made Brian angry to think about the irrevocable damage that had been done to his fair haired lover. Even Justin’s mother realized that her sweet little boy would never be the same again. His innocence, the invincibility of his youth, was forever gone with one swift blow to the head. And now, so it seemed, Brian was responsible for healing him. But how could he fix the broken boy, when he didn’t even know how to fix himself?
Brian pondered about the blond in his bed, who was now sleeping soundly. He remembered that fateful night with clarity. Brian had genuinely felt happy. As he gazed into Justin's blue eyes in the parking garage, he saw the love and adoration reflected there. He remembered hesitating, then closing his eyes, and finally surrendering to his own feelings. Feelings he had never experienced before. It both excited him, and scared him shitless. That indescribable kiss gave Brian the courage to think about a future with his young blond angel. Then, in an instant, a monster named Hobbs, took it all away.
The following day...
Tonight when Michael called and begged him to meet the gang at Woody’s, he almost said no. He knew that Justin was still afraid to be by himself, despite his false bravado. But fuck it, he wasn’t Justin’s babysitter, and they weren’t married. Instead, he told Michael yes. He almost changed his mind though, when he saw the scared, somewhat panicked look on Justin’s face. To his credit, Justin had covered nicely by planting a small smile on his face while proclaiming “It’s about time you hang out with friends your own age!” So now, why did he feel like such a shit for leaving?
At Woody’s, Michael of course was his usual annoying self, whining to Brian about how he never came out anymore. Lecturing him on how he didn’t need to sacrifice his life and friends for the Boy Wonder, just because he felt guilty. For all the years that they had known each other, his best friend was sometimes clueless as to what Brian’s true feelings were.
Justin’s POV
Justin knew he was being selfish to think that Brian would stay home another night with him. After all, as Brian would say, they weren’t boyfriends, they were both single and free to come and go as they please. But Justin knew that Brian was different now. After the bashing, he had somehow changed. Brian had started to act suspiciously like a boyfriend, holding hands with him, calling to let him know what time he would be home. Justin thought maybe, just maybe, Brian Kinney really did care about him. To his delightful surprise, Brian came home early that night, and spent the rest of the evening with Justin. They watched old movies, and affectionately bantered back and forth on their different takes on the endings.
Justin woke up early the next morning, and couldn’t help but watch Brian as he slept. The man was astonishingly beautiful. As he was appraising Brian, his blissful thoughts were soon intruded upon. No matter how hard he tried to push the thoughts away lately, his mind always seemed to drift to the night of the prom. Justin can’t help but feel a great sense of loss since he can’t remember anything that happened that night. He thinks something else happened that night....something to do with Brian. As many times as he’s tried, he still can’t recall anything, which only serves to frustrate him more. Daphne had said they were amazing!
Brian’s POV
Brian looked down at his empty bed. How the hell did this happen? Justin was living with him one minute, and then the next he was gone. When Justin asked him, “Why am I here?”, Brian honestly couldn’t answer. He had a mess of emotions jumbled up inside of him. Brian had truly wanted to speak, try to assure Justin it wasn’t just the guilt...but tell him what?? That’s precisely why Brian had opted to remain silent, and in doing so, was forced to watch helplessly as Justin packed up his stuff, and headed out the door.
Justin’s POV
Justin was crushed. He knew he just had to get out of the loft. It didn’t matter that it was midnight, that it was pouring outside, or that he was getting soaked, because at that point, he was just plain numb. He couldn’t feel anything other than despair. The truth was out in the open, Brian really didn’t care about him. Michael had been right. He had only taken Justin in out of guilt. Damn Michael! He never wanted them together in the first place!
The next night...
I’m sitting here in this sleazy bar, with my surrogate mother, the one and only Debbie Novotny. She’s glaring at me, and giving me hell for hurting her Sunshine. But then, amidst the chastising, in true Debbie fashion, she cuts through all the crap, and asks me, no, she tells me “You love him, don’t you?” Wow, her words hit me with tremendous force. The walls start to crumble, as I realize I can’t deny my feelings any longer. I miss him...in my bed, and in my life. I’m miserable without him. I guess this is what love must feel like... I put my chin down on my hands and let out a sigh of defeat. I can’t escape the impact of her words.
As I leave the bar, shaken by my revelation, I think of Justin. How I never tire of him, how his silly childlike enthusiasm makes me smile, how I could hold him in my arms forever, and how much it physically hurts when he is not around. I then know what I have to do. I have to somehow make him understand how important he is to me. I muster all my courage and stalk into Babylon. I spot him immediately and go up to him. He looks shocked that I am here. I look at him and get ready to say my piece. I begin with “You were right...”