Fic: The Camera Eye: Beautiful Dreamers [ Kai X Uruha, NC-17]
Title: The Camera Eye: Beautiful Dreamers
Chapter: Ninth in The Camera Eye series, preceded by The Camera Eye. The Camera Eye: Going Major, The Camera Eye: Hearts and Flowers, The Camera Eye: Star Grabbing, The Camera Eye: Superstar, The Camera Eye: Trophy Boys, The Camera Eye: Dirty Soap and The Camera Eye: Welcome to the Club
Author: Boots
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Porn industry AU, drama, smut, romance
Warnings: Male/male sex, polyamory, exhibition/voyeurism (since the characters work in the porn industry), spanking, toys, slight D/s
Pairing: Kai X Uruha, some Kai X Shou
Disclaimer: Boys belong to PS Company, I own the story only.
Summary: Shou convinces Kai to go to an audition for a mainstream film, reawakening Kai’s dreams of making contacts who could help him launch his culinary career. But what the director has in mind isn’t exactly the stuff of dreams.
Comments: Has references to other fics throughout the series, especially The Camera Eye: Dirty Soap. And yes, I prefer the “Tanabe” real family name for Kai, rather than the more commonly mentioned “Uke.” Kai is far too seme (both in this AU and in real life) to be an Uke. ~_^
Occasionally, the actors of PSC Productions read the mainstream trade papers. Not that their own industry didn’t have its own trades - which were surprisingly serious in tone, treating porn as a business like any other - but it was always nice to get a glimpse of the other side, so to speak.
Especially when one still had ambitions on that side of entertainment, like Shou.
He’d page through a copy if someone left one lying around, or flip through their sites on his iPad between takes, looking for bits of gossip (he was especially amused at anything having to do with Dice, the action star who was Aoi’s unfortunate costar during his first - and last - venture into mainstream film) and casting news.
He’d read the casting things very carefully. He was still holding out the dream that there would be something, anything, he’d be qualified for - despite the fact that he was a porn star best known to the general public as the Sunwash Bottle Scandal Guy.
Shou’s ultimate ambition, of course, still rested with the runway. Maybe if he got a decent bit part in a mainstream movie, it would make designers notice him, and they’d be less likely to consider him The Sunwash Bottle Scandal Guy and more likely to see him as someone they wanted displaying their clothes.
One day, when Shou and Kai were between takes of a video they were making together, Kai happened to lean over and see what his favorite-costar-and-offscreen-sometimes-lover was reading. “Why do you look at them all the time?” he said.
Shou shrugged. “Just dreaming, I guess,” he said. “Hoping something lucky will come my way.”
“You’re already lucky,” Kai said, reaching over to pat his back. “You’re working with great people in a great environment - who could ask for more?”
“I know,” Shou said. “But Kai . . . don’t you ever wonder, well, what if? Don’t you think about doing what you planned to before, well . . .”
Kai sighed a bit. For the most part, Shou was more comfortable with the idea of himself as porn star - a career porn star - than he used to be. He knew that he had fans, had a good reputation, won awards . . . and that the lifestyle accommodated his polyamorous nature like none other.
But sometimes, he returned to his high-fashion dreams, and this was one of those times.
“I do think about it,” Kai said. “Heck, I do it all the time. I was going to be a chef, remember? And yes - sometimes I do find storefronts, and I think about what amazing restaurants they’d make. But I’m happy with what I have. With what WE have.”
“I’m happy, too,” Shou said. “It’s just that sometimes, I . . .” His eyes were scanning the page - and they suddenly stopped. “Oh, my God!” he said.
Kai leaned over. “What is it?”
“Look at this.” Shou pointed to an ad announcing an open casting call for actors . . . for a crime drama with a backdrop of the gay porn industry. “They’re looking for guys to play porn stars. Not huge parts, but . . .”
“Shou,” Kai said, “you know what happened when Aoi was asked to be in a regular film. It, well, didn’t end well.”
“I remember,” Shou said. “But this is different. It’s not like it’s a star thing, it’s a bit part - but it’s perfect. They won’t care about the Sunwash thing, or how many guys I’ve done scenes with - they’ll probably see them as pluses.” He put his hand on Kai’s. “I just want to try it, okay? Try it and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, fine - but at least I can say I tried.”
Kai was quiet for a long moment. Shou obviously was serious about this. Talking him out of it wasn’t happening. And really, if he truly cared about Shou . . . did he want to?
And then, he said, “I’ll come with you.”
Shou looked shocked. “You . . . you will?”
“If it means that much to you, yes, I will,” Kai said. “And if they have a part for you, maybe they’ll have a part for me, too. Or at least . . . maybe they’ll need a caterer.”
Shou threw his arms around Kai’s neck. “I’m glad,” he said. “I’m so very glad!”
Kai hugged back. Well, this wasn’t exactly something he’d had in mind - but Shou really did want to do it. And hey, if they got parts, it really could be fun.
He just hoped they wouldn’t be facing the same lack of empathy and compassion they faced on the supposedly progressive mainstream set that Aoi worked on.
* * *
Kai continued to think about what Shou said throughout the afternoon. (Well, except when the cameras were rolling. It was kind of hard to contemplate a mainstream film role - contemplate much of anything, really - when you were filming a sex scene).
Get involved with a mainstream film . . . make connections on the other side of Hollywood . . . and maybe some of them would need a caterer . . .
The more he thought about it, the more his old dream of working in the culinary industry seemed to awaken and poke its head out, like a flower emerging from the snow. Maybe the connections could get him cooking jobs . . . spread his reputation . . . make people see what he could put in their mouths, as opposed to what other guys put in his mouth . . .
By the time he and his lover went home for the day, he was full-blown enthusiastic over the whole thing - including the possibilities.
“You really want to do this?” Uruha said to Kai over dinner.
Kai swallowed his mouthful of noodles, then nodded. “At first, I thought I was just going along with it because it was something that Shou wanted to do, but the more I thought about it . . .”
“You do remember what happened when Aoi tried going mainstream, don’t you?” Uruha said.
“Yes, but this is going to be different,” Kai said. “It’s not, well, a star ego vehicle. It’s more like an indie production, and I think they’ll be a little more understanding about who we are and what we do.”
“You mean, you HOPE they’ll be more understanding,” Uruha said. He picked up his wineglass and took a long drink.
“Well, yes,” Kai said. “But it’s worth a try, right? It my instinct is correct, and these people genuinely want to give a fair portrayal of the industry? This could do a lot for us. This could get us the one thing that people in our industry have wanted for decades.”
“Respect?” Uruha said, picking up a big chopstickfull of beef and vegetables.
“Exactly,” said Kai. “Respect. If we took care of our industry’s image problem, who knows what might happen? Aoi could get another shot at mainstream stardom. Shou could get mainstream modeling assignments - without what happened with the Sunwash bottle.”
“And what about you?” Uruha said.
“I might have a lot easier time getting backing for a restaurant,” Kai said.
Uruha gave him a small smile. “You still want to do that, don’t you?”
Kai reached out and put his hand on Uruha’s. “You still want to direct mainstream movies, don’t you?”
Uruha looked down at his bowl. “I’m happy doing what we’re doing,” he said.
“So am I,” Kai said, “but admit it . . . you still have that original dream, don’t you?”
Uruha was quiet for a moment. He hadn’t thought about mainstream - about his dream of making films, TV shows, music videos - since things had really taken off with PSC. He especially hadn’t thought of it since getting that Best Director award.
“You know me too well, you know that?” he said to Kai.
Kai leaned over and hugged him. “Of course I do,” he said.
“What kind of an influence is Shou on you?” Uruha added. “You haven’t mentioned a restaurant since . . .”
“Maybe he just brought out something that’s been in the back of my head all along,” Kai said.
He found himself hoping more than ever that his instincts would pan out. This would be a great thing for everyone -Aoi being a real superstar, Shou on the runway, Uruha being able to direct films that actually got shown in theaters, not on computers perched on beds . . .
And his being able to open a restaurant didn’t hurt at all, either.
* * *
The next morning, Kai was in the kitchen, making breakfast. No plain fish-over-rice for them, he usually did omelets or pancakes. Today, it was the former, and he was sautéing a combination of vegetables before pouring the eggs in. Spinach, peppers, onions, mushrooms . . .
He had to admit he missed having this as part of his everyday life - putting combinations of ingredients together, balancing the flavors and textures, calculating what the finished product would be like. It was still a part of him - it always would be.
As he stirred the milk and egg mixture, he reflected on the identities he’d passed through on his journey to who he was now. Tanabe Yutaka, culinary student near the top of his class . . . just Yutaka, part of the uke pool at the struggling, lackluster PSC Productions . . . Kai, the superstar seme of the hottest company in the business . . .
They all were him. They all added up to the REAL him, a Tanabe-Yutaka-Kai hybrid.
This is why I’m doing this, he thought. This is what my ultimate goal is - to have a career that fulfills ALL my facets. Drawing on the confidence and contacts I acquired during my porn career to make the most of my culinary talents . . .
Uruha stumbled into the kitchen, blinking. “Morning,” he mumbled. “Smells good.” He went straight for the fridge and poured himself an orange juice.
“Morning, love,” Kai said, giving his lover a kiss as he passed. “What are you doing today?”
“Scene with Aoi and Ruki,” he murmured. “Should be fairly easy.” He plunked down at the table, taking another big drink. “You still going to that audition with Shou?”
“Yes, we are,” Kai said, looking over his shoulder as he stirred the mixture in the pan. “We’ll let you know how it goes.”
“Just . . . don’t let them do to you what they did to Aoi, okay?” Uruha said.
“It’s not going to happen,” Kai said. “Dice isn’t involved.”
“He might not be the only homophobe in the industry,” Uruha murmured.
“I’m not going to abandon you,” Kai said. “Not ever. If we get into this film, we’re going to see about getting you a job on it, too.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Uruha was a bit more awake now. “But thanks.”
Kai was humming as he brought the omelets over to the table. He had a good feeling about today. A very good feeling. This could, indeed, be the big break they were looking for.
* * *
Kai picked Shou up a half hour later. “I don’t think Ruki wants me to go,” he said.
“Why do you say that?” Kai said.
“He said I had other ways of advancing my career than ‘dealing with fuckers like that.’ I think he’s remembering what happened to Aoi.”
“Uruha said the same thing,” Kai said “I told him this was different from that. These people . . . well, they might actually be on our wavelength. And I was going to give it a try. And . . .” He smiled. “This means a lot to both of us, doesn’t it?”
“It does.” Shou put his hand on Kai’s. “Probably for the same reasons.”
“And I have a good feeling about this,” Kai said. “A very good feeling. I think we're going to pass this audition.”
“How could we not?” Shou said. “We're exactly what they're looking for, aren't we? The characters they're casting are porn stars. And, well . . .”
Both of them laughed. This was a shoo-in. The surest of sure things.
* * *
Tananeo Miyukani looked over his to-do list for the day. First and foremost was auditions for the porn star roles in his film. Oh, this should be interesting.
Of course, the TV director should have known what he was in for when he took on his old friend's script for his feature film debut. Said script just happened to be about a man searching for his son, who had run away and gotten involved in the gay porn industry.
“Are you sure this is what the industry is really like?” he'd asked his friend, after reading it over. “People being made to perform at gunpoint? Yakuza everywhere?”
“Of course it is,” the screenwriter said, giving a dismissive wave. “You think anyone would WANT to get involved in something like that?”
“I don't know,” Tananeo said. “It seems like . . .”
“Look, would you trust me?” the friend said. “I know what I'm doing. I always know what I'm doing. Besides, we're here to tell a story, right? Not make an award-winning documentary about gay porn.”
Of course, Tananeo trusted his friend. They'd done a lot of successful television together. Now, if only they could translate that success to the big screen . . .
He opened the door and looked out at the waiting room, where a huge selection of young men was milling about. Most of them looked rough around the edges. A few of them looked like your standard generic pretty boy. It did not look promising at ALL.
The director turned to his casting team. “Send them in by twos,” he said. “I'll have them read against each other. If I see anything I like, I'll tell you to schedule a callback.”
And then, he'd schedule drinks with friends for the end of the day, because he was going to need it.
* * *
Kai felt like he and Shou had been waiting in this room forever.
They'd both gone through their Twitter feeds about a hundred times. They'd cleared their E-mail boxes. They'd both needed to plug in their phones - only to have to fight all the other bored actors for the few available plugs.
“Is this what the mainstream is always like?” Kai asked.
Shou shrugged. “Some modeling cattle calls are like this,” he said. “You'd be there for six hours for them to look at your portfolio for two minutes.”
Kai let out a sigh. They could have produced two scenes for a video in the time they'd been sitting here. At least. Two scenes for a video, and he could have made lunch for everyone. (Unless, of course, they had just shot a sex scene in the kitchen. Kai knew better than to cook under those circumstances).
This is for the restaurant, he told himself. It's for my dream. It's to get the money and contacts and respectability I'll need . . .
And after about six more eternities, the woman with the bright yellow dyed hair and even brighter tinged makeup opened the door once more, and said, “Tanabe-san and Kohara-san?”
“That's your name?” Kai looked at Shou quizzically.
“Kohara Kazumasa,” Shou said. “I never told you?”
“No,” Kai said. Well, damn. He'd never known his friend, his costar, his sometimes-lover, as anything but Shou. Such was the nature of porn. “Did I ever tell you my real name was Tanabe Yutaka?”
“I knew about the Yutaka part, at least,” Shou said. “Come on - we have to go in!”
They followed Yellow Hair down an antiseptic-looking corridor into a very grey, corporate-looking room. Round, white table surrounded by black leather swivel chairs. For a creative endeavor, it was about as uncreative as you could get.
On the other side of the table, a guy in a businesslike black shirt and tie - moon face, steel-framed glasses, greying hair that was short on the sides but with thick bangs flopping sideways across his forehead - stood up to greet them. “Good afternoon, I am Tananeo-san, the director. And you are?”
Shou and Kai intoduced themselves by their real names, bowing politely. Kai was taking all his cues from Shou - he'd never done anything like this before.
“Would you please pick up the scripts in front of you,” the director said, “and read the dialogue on top of page 25. Tanabe-san, you are to read the character of Kyo, Kohara-san, you are to read the character of Miki. Now, your characters are about to go on the run, and you're scared . . .”
Kai took the script in his hand, scanned it lightly, and began to read aloud - his character spoke first. “Miki, I can't say here any more. I don't care what they do to me, I've been here long enough.”
“You can't go,” Shou read in return. “Don't you know what they'll do to you? You're their number one star. If you disappear . . .”
“They'll kill me? If I stay, I might end up killing myself. Do you know what it's like, performing with men I've never met before, day after day, week after week . . .”
“I know,” Shou read. “I do it myself, remember? They may not push me into as many videos as you, but believe me, I've done my innings.”
“Do you know what I regret more than anything?” Kai said. “That one night I went clubbing. That’s where they discovered me. One night, and I've been paying for it my whole life. How did I know I was going to end up with a gun in my back?”
“You didn't know,” Shou read. “There was no way you could. They didn't exactly have a sign over the club entrance saying 'Porn Recruiting Center.'”
The two men's eyes met over the script. What the hell was this? Guns in the back? Porn recruiting centers? Fear for your life?
“I didn't know, but I should have walked away when I had the chance!” Kai said. “Before . . . before they made me their slave.”
Kai was suddenly starting to feel nauseated. Slavery? THAT was what the people making this movie thought the porn business was? SLAVERY?
Tananeo waved his hand. “Thank you. That's quite enough. I'm sorry, but I won't be casting either of you in this film.”
“May I please ask why?” Shou said.
“You're both far too sweet and innocent to be believable as porn stars,” the director said.
That was the last straw. Kai was usually sweet, polite and gentlemanly, but he also was someone you didn't want to cross. Not for nothing was he considered to be a leader among the actors.
“Tananeo-san,” he said, “with all due respect. I would like to reintroduce ourselves to you. We are known professionally as Shou and Kai, and we are actors with PSC Productions - which just happens to be a gay porn company.”
He grabbed his phone - which, fortunately, he'd managed to recharge - and brought up the PSC app, going straight to the “Meet the Stars” section. He held it out for the director to see. “We're a respectable company. We have good working environments. And everything we do is voluntary. EVERYTHING. Nobody has ever put a gun to my head or my back. There are NO criminals involved. And nobody gets kidnapped from clubs and forced to perform in our films.”
He was on a roll now. He was leaning over the desk now, his hands planted on it, his face looking like a scowling Noh demon mask. (Just an unusually bishounen scowling Noh demon mask).
“Do you know why I got into this business?” he said. “To pay off my culinary school debt. That's it. Nothing dark or sinister involved. I just wanted to finance my dream of having a restaurant. And that's the same reason I came here today - my dream. I thought if I got into a 'real' film, I'd get contacts and money and respectability and . . .”
Shou put a hand on his back to calm him down, and it had the desired effect - at least temporarily. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Just one more thing. Do you want to know who my director is? Do you want to know who made me a star? My boyfriend. Who is the most wonderful person I've ever met. So if you really believe that people who run this industry are evil, then . . .”
He stood straight up, looked the director straight in the eye, and said, “Then I feel very sorry for you, Tananeo-san. Because you're the kind of person who approaches things with a closed mind, and that's not a good trait for a director to have.” He bowed low. “Good day.”
Kai turned around and walked straight out of the office with his head held high. He should have listened to Uruha's concerns. He should have remembered what happened to Aoi. He should have . . .
Shou just bowed and followed him out. “Are you all right, Kai?” he said, looking genuinely concerned.
Kai took a deep breath. “I'm just going to go back home,” he said.
The director sat there quietly for a few minutes after the two left. Then, he went out to the yellow-haired woman.
“Dismiss the rest of the actors,” he said.
The woman blinked. “Excuse me, sir?”
“You heard me,” he said. “Dismiss them. And tell the rest of the crew they aren't to come in until further notice.”
The woman bowed and left. The director pulled out his phone, thinking about what he was about to do.
There were phone calls that had to be made - to the producers, the movie company, assorted backers. He'd never resigned from a project before - he had to choose his words carefully, to make sure they knew this was no director diva fit.
But first, he was going to call the writer. And wouldn't you know it, he wasn't picking up his phone. Probably had the ringer turned off.
“It's me,” he said to the writer’s answering machine. “I've made a decision. I am not directing your script. In fact, I am seriously considering never directing another script of yours again unless you prove to me you really did do some research. Good day.”
He put his phone down and pulled over his computer. There was an address that he needed to look up.
* * *
Kai was sitting in the living room, looking dejected, when Uruha came in. The director/producer instantly knew something was wrong, very wrong. It took a very big cloud to cover Kai's sunshine.
“Hi, honey,” he said, putting down his computer case and sitting next to the other man. “What happened?”
Kai looked at him, slowly. “I should have listened,” he said.
“What do you mean, should have listened?”
“I should have listened to you,” Kai said. “And Aoi. And anyone else who said this was a bad idea. I thought . . .” He hung his head. “Oh, hell.”
“They were like Dice, weren't they?” Crap, this was what Uruha was afraid of - Kai running headfirst into a wall of homophobia.
He shook his head. “Not even that,” he said. “It was . . . what they said and thought about the industry. About people in it. About people like you.”
And he proceeded to tell Uruha what he'd read at the audition, what he'd glimpsed in the rest of the script - the stuff about organized crime and people being forced to make videos at gunpoint and porn stardom as slavery.
“I told the guy off, but good,” he said. “Guess that means I'll never get another mainstream part, doesn't it?”
“Did you really want one?” Uruha said, tightening his arm around Kai. “You never really did until Shou decided he wanted to be in this film.”
“It's not the part I wanted so much as . . .” Kai leaned his head against Uruha's. “The contacts. The people who could help . . .”
“The leg-up on getting your restaurant,” Uruha said. “That's what you really want, isn't it?”
Kai nodded. “Uruha, I like what I'm doing now. I really do. But I'm not going to be young forever, and when a porn star gets past his prime . . . well, he'd better have a second act.”
“First of all, you're nowhere near past your prime,” Uruha said. “Second of all, who the hell needs people like that to establish yourself as a chef? You cook for us all the time, remember?”
“Yes, but like you said . . . that's just for us.”
“So?” Uruha said. “You could cook for other people, you know. We do get invited to parties for Nemesis” - the clothing line that liked to use porn stars as models for extra “edginess.” “You could offer your catering services to them. They have a lot of mainstream people at their parties - fashion editors, musicians. Just make sure they know who did the food.”
Kai reached up for the arm around him and put his hand on Uruha's. “You know that's why I love you, don't you?”
“Because I have all the answers?” Uruha said.
“No,” said Kai. “Because there's times where you know me better than I know myself.”
He leaned over to bring his lips to his lover's. Uruha kissed back, gently. They leaned back, looking at each other . . . then leaned into one another again, kissing more hotly this time, Kai's tongue pushing gently against Uruha's lips. Uruha opened up, letting Kai push in.
They eased apart, Kai starting to kiss his way down Uruha's neck. “So . . . is this a comfort fuck, then?” Uruha said, lightly.
“The hell with the comfort,” Kai said. “It's just a fuck.”
The two of them headed for the bedroom, unfastening clothes along the way, dropping them to the floor as they went. By the time they reached their bed, both were naked.
Uruha lay on his back on the mattress, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at Kai. “So, what are you waiting for?”
Kai lay next to him, running his fingers along those finely sculpted thighs. “Why aren't you in front of the cameras?” he said. “You're just as beautiful as all those guys who are in videos. Even more beautiful than some of them.”
“I'm not the type that shares,” Uruha said. “This is for you, and you alone.” Okay, for Kai and anyone they brought into their bed . . . and anyone he had occasional outside dalliances with, like the time Kazuki had given him a lap dance that resulted in orgasm . . .
But as for his heart, that was for Kai alone. And it was only with Kai that he truly made love, as opposed to fucking.
Kai brought his lips to Uruha’s again, those fingers dancing along his thighs, flicking up briefly to brush along his cock - very lightly, just a slight tease - before moving down again, the soft touch on sensitive flesh making Uruha shudder.
“You’re keeping me in suspense,” Uruha murmured as Kai’s hand moved further down his leg, almost getting all the way to his knee.
“Oh?” Kai said. “What is it you’re waiting for?”
“I think you can guess,” Uruha said, moaning a little in frustration as Kai’s fingers slowly traced patterns on his flesh - right above the knee, not even in a “shiver” zone.
“Maybe I can,” Kai said. “Does it have anything to do with this?”
He lowered his head, flicking his tongue over a nipple, making Uruha shudder hard. “M-maybe,” the director said.
“Maybe?” Kai brought his mouth into contact with the flesh again, licking back and forth and back again over the bud, wrapping his lips around it, starting to suck firmly.
“Ah!” Uruha gasped, hands tangling in Kai’s hair. “Yes! Yes, I want that, but . . . but I also want . . .”
Kai raised his head. “I can’t give it to you if you don’t tell me,” he said, teasingly.
“My . . . my ass . . .”
“Now, there’s plenty we can do with your ass, isn’t there?” He pulled away from Uruha and rapidly flipped him over on his stomach. “We can do this . . .” He brought his hand down on one cheek with a firm smack, making Uruha cry out.
“Yes,” Uruha said, pulling his knees up, making his ass jut out, open to whatever Kai wanted to do.
“Or . . . we could do this . . .” He bent over and bit one cheek, sharply, while smacking the other again.
“Oh, God!” Uruha cried, starting to grip the blankets. This was a side Kai only showed in private, not in front of the cameras - and Uruha had never encouraged him to. Spanking and biting were reserved for him alone.
“Or . . .” Kai opened the nighttable drawer and drew out a slim object, black as onyx and shining in the dim light. He followed that with their bottle of lubricant, opening it up and pouring some droplets on his fingers. “Would you like something extra?”
“Yes,” Uruha gasped. “Please!”
Kai pushed a finger in, gently moving it around, in and out, getting Uruha ready. “You want this thing deep in your pretty ass? You want to feel it moving inside you?”
“Yes!” Uruha cried, moaning louder as Kai pushed in a second finger.
“All right,” Kai said. “You’re going to get it. You’re going to get all that you can handle.” He slid his fingers out, poured lube on the toy and started to push it in, slowly, watching the glass disappear into Uruha’s body, feeling him stiffen, hearing him gasp.
“Oh, yes,” he said. “It feels good . . . “
“How does it feel?” Kai said.
“Smooth . . . and cool . . . and hard, so hard . . .”
“You like hard things in you.” Kai began to thrust the toy slowly, letting it slip into and out of his lover, watching how Uruha pushed his hips back, trying to take more of it in.
Uruha’s only answer was a moan as his hips moved harder and faster, fucking himself on the toy, his face bearing an expression of pleasure . . . which grew more intense as Kai reached back, flipping a switch, making the thing start to buzz and vibrate.
“Oh,” Uruha cried. “Oh, Kai . . .”
Kai thrust the toy a few more times, looking at the way Uruha was trembling in pleasure, the way sweat was starting to drip down his skin, the way he thrust harder and faster, taking more and more into himself . . .
And now, he offered the something more. With one hand still on the toy, moving it back and forth, he brought the other one back . . . and delivered a sharp spanking, sending shoots of pain through his ass to match the hot pleasure.
“AHH!” Uruha cried, arching backward, so Kai did it again, delivering another hard smack as the vibrator continued to buzz, the contrasting sensations overwhelming him, pain layered with pleasure and all of it hot . . .
“Look at you.” Kai thrust the vibrator harder, delivered another smack, and watched Uruha shudder, crying out again. “You’re so gorgeous right now. So gorgeous, and all mine.” Another smack . “You ARE all mine aren’t you?”
“Yes!” Uruha said. “All yours, always.”
“Then you’ll let me have this pretty ass for my own?” Kai twisted the vibrator a little, then spanked again.
“Oh, God, yes!” Uruha cried.
Kai slid out the toy and relubed his fingers - Uruha did need a little more prep, given that he was very well-endowed and the toy was very slim. He didn’t want any pain to be involved - except, of course, for his spanks.
“I’m looking forward to this,” he said. “I want to feel that ass all around me, so hot and tight . . .” And Uruha always did feel like that, no matter how many times they made love - tight and delicious, almost like a virgin . . .
Kai slid his fingers out and lubed himself, positioning himself at the entrance. He ran his hands over Uruha’s ass, feeling the spots that had been warmed by his spanks, temporarily marked by him.
“All right,” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to this so much, my love . . .” He pushed forward, and he was filling him, and it was delicious,
He was careful, of course - he knew about his size, how easy it would be to cause pain - the wrong kind, not the nice kind from the spanking. He eased in little by little, paying attention to Uruha’s reactions, making sure he wasn’t tensing . . .
He paused, leaning over to kiss Uruha’s back, to make sure his lover was comfortable. Only then did he start a slow and gentle thrust, feeling the glide of his most sensitive flesh against the channel that seemed to grip and caress him.
The thrusts grew faster, harder, Kai’s moans starting to join with Uruha’s now, Uruha pushing back against him, the two of them moving in tandem, as if responding to unheard, unspoken signals as to just how fast, how hard to go.
They sped up more, and the moans increased in volume and intensity, Uruha begging for more, Kai reaching down to stroke his erection, murmuring that Uruha felt so damn good, so amazing . . .
“Oh, my God,” Uruha gasped, “close, close, I’m so . . .” Kai’s thumb swept over the tip of his hardness, and Uruha let out a harsh, sharp cry, his seed running over Kai’s fingers.
Kai thrust faster, harder, deeper, driven by his own need, the heat blazing within him . . and finally, it exploded, and his own cry was even louder than Uruha’s as he came inside him . . . something else that made their private times extra-special.
No money shots when you could actually come inside your lover, something that felt incredibly intimate to Kai.
He pulled out, and the two collapsed to the bed, wrapping their arms around each other and kissing softly. “Do you feel better now?” Uruha said, quietly.
“I felt better the moment I laid eyes on you,” Kai replied. Which was the truth.
Nothing seemed so bad anymore . . . not the audition that went wrong, not the blown chance at his restaurant, not even the offensive attitude displayed in that script. As soon as he got back to Uruha, nothing mattered - all was well with the world.
* * *
Kai and Shou were in Uruha's office the next morning, going over details for their next shoot.
“We're supposed to have good weather next week,” Uruha said, “so if it's warm enough, I'd like to shoot the second sex scene between you outdoors. Maybe next to the little brook at the back of the yard.” He was referring to the big house they used as a frequent shooting location, which belonged to their wealthy benefactor.
“We're going to have to rake it good first,” Kai said. “There's a lot of stones and prickly grass there. You'll feel it even through a blanket.”
“Maybe even use two blankets as well,” Shou added.
“Fine,” Uruha said. “Not like our company gives combat pay for . . .”
A knock on the door made them all look up, then at each other quizzically. “Come in,” Uruha called.
The knob turned, and in walked Tananeo. “Forgive the interruption, please.” He bowed. “I would like to speak with Uruha-san for a few moments. Im Tananeo-san, and . . .” He looked over at Kai and Shou. “I believe I owe these gentlemen an apology.”
Uruha stood up, bowing. “It's a pleasure, Tananeo-san,” he said. “but what apology?”
“I'm the director they auditioned for yesterday,” he said. “For . . for a very ill-advised piece of film that's now not going to be made. At least, not by me. I resigned from the production right after I got a good talking-to from Tanabe-san - the one you know as Kai.”
Kai's jaw dropped. Literally. He thought he was going to break his sternum with the impact. “You . . . you just QUIT?”
“I couldn't make that film in good conscience,” Tananeo said. “Not when everything in that script was lies - hurtful lies. I had my doubts about it when my screenwriter - now ex-screenwriter - gave it to me. You confirmed it. So I took another TV job to finance my next real project. It's a lightweight romantic comedy series, but at least it's harmless.”
“That's all very nice,” Uruha said, “and I'm glad Kai could help you see the light about what you were doing wrong, but .. . what do I have to do with it? Why did you need to see me?”
“Ah, that's the next project I was talking about,” Tananeo said. “You see, I've decided to try my hand at screenwriting myself. I've been around the business long enough, I want my feature film debut to be something I really believe in, so I figured - why not? And my first script is going to be a realistic look at the gay porn industry. A positive story about a young man finding happiness and love by that route, so to speak. And so, I'd like your permission to interview you and your staff about your lives. Nothing really personal will be used without your permission, I can assure you that. I just want to make sure I do research - unlike that other guy.”
Uruha sat straight up. “You . . . you're serious?”
“Completely,” Tananeo said. “It's going to delay my feature film debut a bit more than I originally thought, true, but . . . I want to do this. I really do.” He looked at Kai. “And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be doing this. I don't know how to thank you.”
Kai glanced at Uruha, then Shou - and then turned toward the mainstream director with a smile.
“You can thank me,” he said, “by giving me a call if you need catering on your set. I'm a trained chef, remember.” Looking over at Shou, he added, “And if you need anyone who needs a young male mode for a photoshoot, you can send them Shou's way.”
“I'll do that,” Tananeo stood up and bowed deeply. “Uruha-san, here is my card.” He handed it over with both hands, head bowed. “I will be in touch.”
“And here is my card,” Uruha said, handing over his own. “Thank you for coming.” He gave a low bow, and waved as the other man left.
Uruha turned around and faced the others. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“But in the end . . . it was great, wasn't it?” Kai said. “I mean, he changed his mind about everything because of us.”
“Because of you,” Shou reminded him. “You were the one who went off on him.”
“Oh, yeah.” Kai rubbed the back of his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “I did get a little carried away there, didn't I?”
“It wasn't a bad thing,” Uruha said. “Not at all. Not when you both picked up the kind of contacts you need . . . without having to deal with Dice types.”
Kai just went over and hugged him. Okay, so things worked out in an odd way. But the bottom line was . . . they worked out, period. Sometimes, things that work out in strange ways bring out the best results.
Like, for instance, Kai's decision to take an unconventional route to financing his culinary degree. That had brought about the best result of all.
Chapter: Ninth in The Camera Eye series, preceded by The Camera Eye. The Camera Eye: Going Major, The Camera Eye: Hearts and Flowers, The Camera Eye: Star Grabbing, The Camera Eye: Superstar, The Camera Eye: Trophy Boys, The Camera Eye: Dirty Soap and The Camera Eye: Welcome to the Club
Author: Boots
Rating: NC-17
Genre: Porn industry AU, drama, smut, romance
Warnings: Male/male sex, polyamory, exhibition/voyeurism (since the characters work in the porn industry), spanking, toys, slight D/s
Pairing: Kai X Uruha, some Kai X Shou
Disclaimer: Boys belong to PS Company, I own the story only.
Summary: Shou convinces Kai to go to an audition for a mainstream film, reawakening Kai’s dreams of making contacts who could help him launch his culinary career. But what the director has in mind isn’t exactly the stuff of dreams.
Comments: Has references to other fics throughout the series, especially The Camera Eye: Dirty Soap. And yes, I prefer the “Tanabe” real family name for Kai, rather than the more commonly mentioned “Uke.” Kai is far too seme (both in this AU and in real life) to be an Uke. ~_^
Occasionally, the actors of PSC Productions read the mainstream trade papers. Not that their own industry didn’t have its own trades - which were surprisingly serious in tone, treating porn as a business like any other - but it was always nice to get a glimpse of the other side, so to speak.
Especially when one still had ambitions on that side of entertainment, like Shou.
He’d page through a copy if someone left one lying around, or flip through their sites on his iPad between takes, looking for bits of gossip (he was especially amused at anything having to do with Dice, the action star who was Aoi’s unfortunate costar during his first - and last - venture into mainstream film) and casting news.
He’d read the casting things very carefully. He was still holding out the dream that there would be something, anything, he’d be qualified for - despite the fact that he was a porn star best known to the general public as the Sunwash Bottle Scandal Guy.
Shou’s ultimate ambition, of course, still rested with the runway. Maybe if he got a decent bit part in a mainstream movie, it would make designers notice him, and they’d be less likely to consider him The Sunwash Bottle Scandal Guy and more likely to see him as someone they wanted displaying their clothes.
One day, when Shou and Kai were between takes of a video they were making together, Kai happened to lean over and see what his favorite-costar-and-offscreen-sometimes-lover was reading. “Why do you look at them all the time?” he said.
Shou shrugged. “Just dreaming, I guess,” he said. “Hoping something lucky will come my way.”
“You’re already lucky,” Kai said, reaching over to pat his back. “You’re working with great people in a great environment - who could ask for more?”
“I know,” Shou said. “But Kai . . . don’t you ever wonder, well, what if? Don’t you think about doing what you planned to before, well . . .”
Kai sighed a bit. For the most part, Shou was more comfortable with the idea of himself as porn star - a career porn star - than he used to be. He knew that he had fans, had a good reputation, won awards . . . and that the lifestyle accommodated his polyamorous nature like none other.
But sometimes, he returned to his high-fashion dreams, and this was one of those times.
“I do think about it,” Kai said. “Heck, I do it all the time. I was going to be a chef, remember? And yes - sometimes I do find storefronts, and I think about what amazing restaurants they’d make. But I’m happy with what I have. With what WE have.”
“I’m happy, too,” Shou said. “It’s just that sometimes, I . . .” His eyes were scanning the page - and they suddenly stopped. “Oh, my God!” he said.
Kai leaned over. “What is it?”
“Look at this.” Shou pointed to an ad announcing an open casting call for actors . . . for a crime drama with a backdrop of the gay porn industry. “They’re looking for guys to play porn stars. Not huge parts, but . . .”
“Shou,” Kai said, “you know what happened when Aoi was asked to be in a regular film. It, well, didn’t end well.”
“I remember,” Shou said. “But this is different. It’s not like it’s a star thing, it’s a bit part - but it’s perfect. They won’t care about the Sunwash thing, or how many guys I’ve done scenes with - they’ll probably see them as pluses.” He put his hand on Kai’s. “I just want to try it, okay? Try it and see what happens. If it doesn’t work out, fine - but at least I can say I tried.”
Kai was quiet for a long moment. Shou obviously was serious about this. Talking him out of it wasn’t happening. And really, if he truly cared about Shou . . . did he want to?
And then, he said, “I’ll come with you.”
Shou looked shocked. “You . . . you will?”
“If it means that much to you, yes, I will,” Kai said. “And if they have a part for you, maybe they’ll have a part for me, too. Or at least . . . maybe they’ll need a caterer.”
Shou threw his arms around Kai’s neck. “I’m glad,” he said. “I’m so very glad!”
Kai hugged back. Well, this wasn’t exactly something he’d had in mind - but Shou really did want to do it. And hey, if they got parts, it really could be fun.
He just hoped they wouldn’t be facing the same lack of empathy and compassion they faced on the supposedly progressive mainstream set that Aoi worked on.
* * *
Kai continued to think about what Shou said throughout the afternoon. (Well, except when the cameras were rolling. It was kind of hard to contemplate a mainstream film role - contemplate much of anything, really - when you were filming a sex scene).
Get involved with a mainstream film . . . make connections on the other side of Hollywood . . . and maybe some of them would need a caterer . . .
The more he thought about it, the more his old dream of working in the culinary industry seemed to awaken and poke its head out, like a flower emerging from the snow. Maybe the connections could get him cooking jobs . . . spread his reputation . . . make people see what he could put in their mouths, as opposed to what other guys put in his mouth . . .
By the time he and his lover went home for the day, he was full-blown enthusiastic over the whole thing - including the possibilities.
“You really want to do this?” Uruha said to Kai over dinner.
Kai swallowed his mouthful of noodles, then nodded. “At first, I thought I was just going along with it because it was something that Shou wanted to do, but the more I thought about it . . .”
“You do remember what happened when Aoi tried going mainstream, don’t you?” Uruha said.
“Yes, but this is going to be different,” Kai said. “It’s not, well, a star ego vehicle. It’s more like an indie production, and I think they’ll be a little more understanding about who we are and what we do.”
“You mean, you HOPE they’ll be more understanding,” Uruha said. He picked up his wineglass and took a long drink.
“Well, yes,” Kai said. “But it’s worth a try, right? It my instinct is correct, and these people genuinely want to give a fair portrayal of the industry? This could do a lot for us. This could get us the one thing that people in our industry have wanted for decades.”
“Respect?” Uruha said, picking up a big chopstickfull of beef and vegetables.
“Exactly,” said Kai. “Respect. If we took care of our industry’s image problem, who knows what might happen? Aoi could get another shot at mainstream stardom. Shou could get mainstream modeling assignments - without what happened with the Sunwash bottle.”
“And what about you?” Uruha said.
“I might have a lot easier time getting backing for a restaurant,” Kai said.
Uruha gave him a small smile. “You still want to do that, don’t you?”
Kai reached out and put his hand on Uruha’s. “You still want to direct mainstream movies, don’t you?”
Uruha looked down at his bowl. “I’m happy doing what we’re doing,” he said.
“So am I,” Kai said, “but admit it . . . you still have that original dream, don’t you?”
Uruha was quiet for a moment. He hadn’t thought about mainstream - about his dream of making films, TV shows, music videos - since things had really taken off with PSC. He especially hadn’t thought of it since getting that Best Director award.
“You know me too well, you know that?” he said to Kai.
Kai leaned over and hugged him. “Of course I do,” he said.
“What kind of an influence is Shou on you?” Uruha added. “You haven’t mentioned a restaurant since . . .”
“Maybe he just brought out something that’s been in the back of my head all along,” Kai said.
He found himself hoping more than ever that his instincts would pan out. This would be a great thing for everyone -Aoi being a real superstar, Shou on the runway, Uruha being able to direct films that actually got shown in theaters, not on computers perched on beds . . .
And his being able to open a restaurant didn’t hurt at all, either.
* * *
The next morning, Kai was in the kitchen, making breakfast. No plain fish-over-rice for them, he usually did omelets or pancakes. Today, it was the former, and he was sautéing a combination of vegetables before pouring the eggs in. Spinach, peppers, onions, mushrooms . . .
He had to admit he missed having this as part of his everyday life - putting combinations of ingredients together, balancing the flavors and textures, calculating what the finished product would be like. It was still a part of him - it always would be.
As he stirred the milk and egg mixture, he reflected on the identities he’d passed through on his journey to who he was now. Tanabe Yutaka, culinary student near the top of his class . . . just Yutaka, part of the uke pool at the struggling, lackluster PSC Productions . . . Kai, the superstar seme of the hottest company in the business . . .
They all were him. They all added up to the REAL him, a Tanabe-Yutaka-Kai hybrid.
This is why I’m doing this, he thought. This is what my ultimate goal is - to have a career that fulfills ALL my facets. Drawing on the confidence and contacts I acquired during my porn career to make the most of my culinary talents . . .
Uruha stumbled into the kitchen, blinking. “Morning,” he mumbled. “Smells good.” He went straight for the fridge and poured himself an orange juice.
“Morning, love,” Kai said, giving his lover a kiss as he passed. “What are you doing today?”
“Scene with Aoi and Ruki,” he murmured. “Should be fairly easy.” He plunked down at the table, taking another big drink. “You still going to that audition with Shou?”
“Yes, we are,” Kai said, looking over his shoulder as he stirred the mixture in the pan. “We’ll let you know how it goes.”
“Just . . . don’t let them do to you what they did to Aoi, okay?” Uruha said.
“It’s not going to happen,” Kai said. “Dice isn’t involved.”
“He might not be the only homophobe in the industry,” Uruha murmured.
“I’m not going to abandon you,” Kai said. “Not ever. If we get into this film, we’re going to see about getting you a job on it, too.”
“You don’t have to do that.” Uruha was a bit more awake now. “But thanks.”
Kai was humming as he brought the omelets over to the table. He had a good feeling about today. A very good feeling. This could, indeed, be the big break they were looking for.
* * *
Kai picked Shou up a half hour later. “I don’t think Ruki wants me to go,” he said.
“Why do you say that?” Kai said.
“He said I had other ways of advancing my career than ‘dealing with fuckers like that.’ I think he’s remembering what happened to Aoi.”
“Uruha said the same thing,” Kai said “I told him this was different from that. These people . . . well, they might actually be on our wavelength. And I was going to give it a try. And . . .” He smiled. “This means a lot to both of us, doesn’t it?”
“It does.” Shou put his hand on Kai’s. “Probably for the same reasons.”
“And I have a good feeling about this,” Kai said. “A very good feeling. I think we're going to pass this audition.”
“How could we not?” Shou said. “We're exactly what they're looking for, aren't we? The characters they're casting are porn stars. And, well . . .”
Both of them laughed. This was a shoo-in. The surest of sure things.
* * *
Tananeo Miyukani looked over his to-do list for the day. First and foremost was auditions for the porn star roles in his film. Oh, this should be interesting.
Of course, the TV director should have known what he was in for when he took on his old friend's script for his feature film debut. Said script just happened to be about a man searching for his son, who had run away and gotten involved in the gay porn industry.
“Are you sure this is what the industry is really like?” he'd asked his friend, after reading it over. “People being made to perform at gunpoint? Yakuza everywhere?”
“Of course it is,” the screenwriter said, giving a dismissive wave. “You think anyone would WANT to get involved in something like that?”
“I don't know,” Tananeo said. “It seems like . . .”
“Look, would you trust me?” the friend said. “I know what I'm doing. I always know what I'm doing. Besides, we're here to tell a story, right? Not make an award-winning documentary about gay porn.”
Of course, Tananeo trusted his friend. They'd done a lot of successful television together. Now, if only they could translate that success to the big screen . . .
He opened the door and looked out at the waiting room, where a huge selection of young men was milling about. Most of them looked rough around the edges. A few of them looked like your standard generic pretty boy. It did not look promising at ALL.
The director turned to his casting team. “Send them in by twos,” he said. “I'll have them read against each other. If I see anything I like, I'll tell you to schedule a callback.”
And then, he'd schedule drinks with friends for the end of the day, because he was going to need it.
* * *
Kai felt like he and Shou had been waiting in this room forever.
They'd both gone through their Twitter feeds about a hundred times. They'd cleared their E-mail boxes. They'd both needed to plug in their phones - only to have to fight all the other bored actors for the few available plugs.
“Is this what the mainstream is always like?” Kai asked.
Shou shrugged. “Some modeling cattle calls are like this,” he said. “You'd be there for six hours for them to look at your portfolio for two minutes.”
Kai let out a sigh. They could have produced two scenes for a video in the time they'd been sitting here. At least. Two scenes for a video, and he could have made lunch for everyone. (Unless, of course, they had just shot a sex scene in the kitchen. Kai knew better than to cook under those circumstances).
This is for the restaurant, he told himself. It's for my dream. It's to get the money and contacts and respectability I'll need . . .
And after about six more eternities, the woman with the bright yellow dyed hair and even brighter tinged makeup opened the door once more, and said, “Tanabe-san and Kohara-san?”
“That's your name?” Kai looked at Shou quizzically.
“Kohara Kazumasa,” Shou said. “I never told you?”
“No,” Kai said. Well, damn. He'd never known his friend, his costar, his sometimes-lover, as anything but Shou. Such was the nature of porn. “Did I ever tell you my real name was Tanabe Yutaka?”
“I knew about the Yutaka part, at least,” Shou said. “Come on - we have to go in!”
They followed Yellow Hair down an antiseptic-looking corridor into a very grey, corporate-looking room. Round, white table surrounded by black leather swivel chairs. For a creative endeavor, it was about as uncreative as you could get.
On the other side of the table, a guy in a businesslike black shirt and tie - moon face, steel-framed glasses, greying hair that was short on the sides but with thick bangs flopping sideways across his forehead - stood up to greet them. “Good afternoon, I am Tananeo-san, the director. And you are?”
Shou and Kai intoduced themselves by their real names, bowing politely. Kai was taking all his cues from Shou - he'd never done anything like this before.
“Would you please pick up the scripts in front of you,” the director said, “and read the dialogue on top of page 25. Tanabe-san, you are to read the character of Kyo, Kohara-san, you are to read the character of Miki. Now, your characters are about to go on the run, and you're scared . . .”
Kai took the script in his hand, scanned it lightly, and began to read aloud - his character spoke first. “Miki, I can't say here any more. I don't care what they do to me, I've been here long enough.”
“You can't go,” Shou read in return. “Don't you know what they'll do to you? You're their number one star. If you disappear . . .”
“They'll kill me? If I stay, I might end up killing myself. Do you know what it's like, performing with men I've never met before, day after day, week after week . . .”
“I know,” Shou read. “I do it myself, remember? They may not push me into as many videos as you, but believe me, I've done my innings.”
“Do you know what I regret more than anything?” Kai said. “That one night I went clubbing. That’s where they discovered me. One night, and I've been paying for it my whole life. How did I know I was going to end up with a gun in my back?”
“You didn't know,” Shou read. “There was no way you could. They didn't exactly have a sign over the club entrance saying 'Porn Recruiting Center.'”
The two men's eyes met over the script. What the hell was this? Guns in the back? Porn recruiting centers? Fear for your life?
“I didn't know, but I should have walked away when I had the chance!” Kai said. “Before . . . before they made me their slave.”
Kai was suddenly starting to feel nauseated. Slavery? THAT was what the people making this movie thought the porn business was? SLAVERY?
Tananeo waved his hand. “Thank you. That's quite enough. I'm sorry, but I won't be casting either of you in this film.”
“May I please ask why?” Shou said.
“You're both far too sweet and innocent to be believable as porn stars,” the director said.
That was the last straw. Kai was usually sweet, polite and gentlemanly, but he also was someone you didn't want to cross. Not for nothing was he considered to be a leader among the actors.
“Tananeo-san,” he said, “with all due respect. I would like to reintroduce ourselves to you. We are known professionally as Shou and Kai, and we are actors with PSC Productions - which just happens to be a gay porn company.”
He grabbed his phone - which, fortunately, he'd managed to recharge - and brought up the PSC app, going straight to the “Meet the Stars” section. He held it out for the director to see. “We're a respectable company. We have good working environments. And everything we do is voluntary. EVERYTHING. Nobody has ever put a gun to my head or my back. There are NO criminals involved. And nobody gets kidnapped from clubs and forced to perform in our films.”
He was on a roll now. He was leaning over the desk now, his hands planted on it, his face looking like a scowling Noh demon mask. (Just an unusually bishounen scowling Noh demon mask).
“Do you know why I got into this business?” he said. “To pay off my culinary school debt. That's it. Nothing dark or sinister involved. I just wanted to finance my dream of having a restaurant. And that's the same reason I came here today - my dream. I thought if I got into a 'real' film, I'd get contacts and money and respectability and . . .”
Shou put a hand on his back to calm him down, and it had the desired effect - at least temporarily. He took a deep breath before continuing. “Just one more thing. Do you want to know who my director is? Do you want to know who made me a star? My boyfriend. Who is the most wonderful person I've ever met. So if you really believe that people who run this industry are evil, then . . .”
He stood straight up, looked the director straight in the eye, and said, “Then I feel very sorry for you, Tananeo-san. Because you're the kind of person who approaches things with a closed mind, and that's not a good trait for a director to have.” He bowed low. “Good day.”
Kai turned around and walked straight out of the office with his head held high. He should have listened to Uruha's concerns. He should have remembered what happened to Aoi. He should have . . .
Shou just bowed and followed him out. “Are you all right, Kai?” he said, looking genuinely concerned.
Kai took a deep breath. “I'm just going to go back home,” he said.
The director sat there quietly for a few minutes after the two left. Then, he went out to the yellow-haired woman.
“Dismiss the rest of the actors,” he said.
The woman blinked. “Excuse me, sir?”
“You heard me,” he said. “Dismiss them. And tell the rest of the crew they aren't to come in until further notice.”
The woman bowed and left. The director pulled out his phone, thinking about what he was about to do.
There were phone calls that had to be made - to the producers, the movie company, assorted backers. He'd never resigned from a project before - he had to choose his words carefully, to make sure they knew this was no director diva fit.
But first, he was going to call the writer. And wouldn't you know it, he wasn't picking up his phone. Probably had the ringer turned off.
“It's me,” he said to the writer’s answering machine. “I've made a decision. I am not directing your script. In fact, I am seriously considering never directing another script of yours again unless you prove to me you really did do some research. Good day.”
He put his phone down and pulled over his computer. There was an address that he needed to look up.
* * *
Kai was sitting in the living room, looking dejected, when Uruha came in. The director/producer instantly knew something was wrong, very wrong. It took a very big cloud to cover Kai's sunshine.
“Hi, honey,” he said, putting down his computer case and sitting next to the other man. “What happened?”
Kai looked at him, slowly. “I should have listened,” he said.
“What do you mean, should have listened?”
“I should have listened to you,” Kai said. “And Aoi. And anyone else who said this was a bad idea. I thought . . .” He hung his head. “Oh, hell.”
“They were like Dice, weren't they?” Crap, this was what Uruha was afraid of - Kai running headfirst into a wall of homophobia.
He shook his head. “Not even that,” he said. “It was . . . what they said and thought about the industry. About people in it. About people like you.”
And he proceeded to tell Uruha what he'd read at the audition, what he'd glimpsed in the rest of the script - the stuff about organized crime and people being forced to make videos at gunpoint and porn stardom as slavery.
“I told the guy off, but good,” he said. “Guess that means I'll never get another mainstream part, doesn't it?”
“Did you really want one?” Uruha said, tightening his arm around Kai. “You never really did until Shou decided he wanted to be in this film.”
“It's not the part I wanted so much as . . .” Kai leaned his head against Uruha's. “The contacts. The people who could help . . .”
“The leg-up on getting your restaurant,” Uruha said. “That's what you really want, isn't it?”
Kai nodded. “Uruha, I like what I'm doing now. I really do. But I'm not going to be young forever, and when a porn star gets past his prime . . . well, he'd better have a second act.”
“First of all, you're nowhere near past your prime,” Uruha said. “Second of all, who the hell needs people like that to establish yourself as a chef? You cook for us all the time, remember?”
“Yes, but like you said . . . that's just for us.”
“So?” Uruha said. “You could cook for other people, you know. We do get invited to parties for Nemesis” - the clothing line that liked to use porn stars as models for extra “edginess.” “You could offer your catering services to them. They have a lot of mainstream people at their parties - fashion editors, musicians. Just make sure they know who did the food.”
Kai reached up for the arm around him and put his hand on Uruha's. “You know that's why I love you, don't you?”
“Because I have all the answers?” Uruha said.
“No,” said Kai. “Because there's times where you know me better than I know myself.”
He leaned over to bring his lips to his lover's. Uruha kissed back, gently. They leaned back, looking at each other . . . then leaned into one another again, kissing more hotly this time, Kai's tongue pushing gently against Uruha's lips. Uruha opened up, letting Kai push in.
They eased apart, Kai starting to kiss his way down Uruha's neck. “So . . . is this a comfort fuck, then?” Uruha said, lightly.
“The hell with the comfort,” Kai said. “It's just a fuck.”
The two of them headed for the bedroom, unfastening clothes along the way, dropping them to the floor as they went. By the time they reached their bed, both were naked.
Uruha lay on his back on the mattress, propping himself up on his elbows and looking at Kai. “So, what are you waiting for?”
Kai lay next to him, running his fingers along those finely sculpted thighs. “Why aren't you in front of the cameras?” he said. “You're just as beautiful as all those guys who are in videos. Even more beautiful than some of them.”
“I'm not the type that shares,” Uruha said. “This is for you, and you alone.” Okay, for Kai and anyone they brought into their bed . . . and anyone he had occasional outside dalliances with, like the time Kazuki had given him a lap dance that resulted in orgasm . . .
But as for his heart, that was for Kai alone. And it was only with Kai that he truly made love, as opposed to fucking.
Kai brought his lips to Uruha’s again, those fingers dancing along his thighs, flicking up briefly to brush along his cock - very lightly, just a slight tease - before moving down again, the soft touch on sensitive flesh making Uruha shudder.
“You’re keeping me in suspense,” Uruha murmured as Kai’s hand moved further down his leg, almost getting all the way to his knee.
“Oh?” Kai said. “What is it you’re waiting for?”
“I think you can guess,” Uruha said, moaning a little in frustration as Kai’s fingers slowly traced patterns on his flesh - right above the knee, not even in a “shiver” zone.
“Maybe I can,” Kai said. “Does it have anything to do with this?”
He lowered his head, flicking his tongue over a nipple, making Uruha shudder hard. “M-maybe,” the director said.
“Maybe?” Kai brought his mouth into contact with the flesh again, licking back and forth and back again over the bud, wrapping his lips around it, starting to suck firmly.
“Ah!” Uruha gasped, hands tangling in Kai’s hair. “Yes! Yes, I want that, but . . . but I also want . . .”
Kai raised his head. “I can’t give it to you if you don’t tell me,” he said, teasingly.
“My . . . my ass . . .”
“Now, there’s plenty we can do with your ass, isn’t there?” He pulled away from Uruha and rapidly flipped him over on his stomach. “We can do this . . .” He brought his hand down on one cheek with a firm smack, making Uruha cry out.
“Yes,” Uruha said, pulling his knees up, making his ass jut out, open to whatever Kai wanted to do.
“Or . . . we could do this . . .” He bent over and bit one cheek, sharply, while smacking the other again.
“Oh, God!” Uruha cried, starting to grip the blankets. This was a side Kai only showed in private, not in front of the cameras - and Uruha had never encouraged him to. Spanking and biting were reserved for him alone.
“Or . . .” Kai opened the nighttable drawer and drew out a slim object, black as onyx and shining in the dim light. He followed that with their bottle of lubricant, opening it up and pouring some droplets on his fingers. “Would you like something extra?”
“Yes,” Uruha gasped. “Please!”
Kai pushed a finger in, gently moving it around, in and out, getting Uruha ready. “You want this thing deep in your pretty ass? You want to feel it moving inside you?”
“Yes!” Uruha cried, moaning louder as Kai pushed in a second finger.
“All right,” Kai said. “You’re going to get it. You’re going to get all that you can handle.” He slid his fingers out, poured lube on the toy and started to push it in, slowly, watching the glass disappear into Uruha’s body, feeling him stiffen, hearing him gasp.
“Oh, yes,” he said. “It feels good . . . “
“How does it feel?” Kai said.
“Smooth . . . and cool . . . and hard, so hard . . .”
“You like hard things in you.” Kai began to thrust the toy slowly, letting it slip into and out of his lover, watching how Uruha pushed his hips back, trying to take more of it in.
Uruha’s only answer was a moan as his hips moved harder and faster, fucking himself on the toy, his face bearing an expression of pleasure . . . which grew more intense as Kai reached back, flipping a switch, making the thing start to buzz and vibrate.
“Oh,” Uruha cried. “Oh, Kai . . .”
Kai thrust the toy a few more times, looking at the way Uruha was trembling in pleasure, the way sweat was starting to drip down his skin, the way he thrust harder and faster, taking more and more into himself . . .
And now, he offered the something more. With one hand still on the toy, moving it back and forth, he brought the other one back . . . and delivered a sharp spanking, sending shoots of pain through his ass to match the hot pleasure.
“AHH!” Uruha cried, arching backward, so Kai did it again, delivering another hard smack as the vibrator continued to buzz, the contrasting sensations overwhelming him, pain layered with pleasure and all of it hot . . .
“Look at you.” Kai thrust the vibrator harder, delivered another smack, and watched Uruha shudder, crying out again. “You’re so gorgeous right now. So gorgeous, and all mine.” Another smack . “You ARE all mine aren’t you?”
“Yes!” Uruha said. “All yours, always.”
“Then you’ll let me have this pretty ass for my own?” Kai twisted the vibrator a little, then spanked again.
“Oh, God, yes!” Uruha cried.
Kai slid out the toy and relubed his fingers - Uruha did need a little more prep, given that he was very well-endowed and the toy was very slim. He didn’t want any pain to be involved - except, of course, for his spanks.
“I’m looking forward to this,” he said. “I want to feel that ass all around me, so hot and tight . . .” And Uruha always did feel like that, no matter how many times they made love - tight and delicious, almost like a virgin . . .
Kai slid his fingers out and lubed himself, positioning himself at the entrance. He ran his hands over Uruha’s ass, feeling the spots that had been warmed by his spanks, temporarily marked by him.
“All right,” he said. “I’ve been looking forward to this so much, my love . . .” He pushed forward, and he was filling him, and it was delicious,
He was careful, of course - he knew about his size, how easy it would be to cause pain - the wrong kind, not the nice kind from the spanking. He eased in little by little, paying attention to Uruha’s reactions, making sure he wasn’t tensing . . .
He paused, leaning over to kiss Uruha’s back, to make sure his lover was comfortable. Only then did he start a slow and gentle thrust, feeling the glide of his most sensitive flesh against the channel that seemed to grip and caress him.
The thrusts grew faster, harder, Kai’s moans starting to join with Uruha’s now, Uruha pushing back against him, the two of them moving in tandem, as if responding to unheard, unspoken signals as to just how fast, how hard to go.
They sped up more, and the moans increased in volume and intensity, Uruha begging for more, Kai reaching down to stroke his erection, murmuring that Uruha felt so damn good, so amazing . . .
“Oh, my God,” Uruha gasped, “close, close, I’m so . . .” Kai’s thumb swept over the tip of his hardness, and Uruha let out a harsh, sharp cry, his seed running over Kai’s fingers.
Kai thrust faster, harder, deeper, driven by his own need, the heat blazing within him . . and finally, it exploded, and his own cry was even louder than Uruha’s as he came inside him . . . something else that made their private times extra-special.
No money shots when you could actually come inside your lover, something that felt incredibly intimate to Kai.
He pulled out, and the two collapsed to the bed, wrapping their arms around each other and kissing softly. “Do you feel better now?” Uruha said, quietly.
“I felt better the moment I laid eyes on you,” Kai replied. Which was the truth.
Nothing seemed so bad anymore . . . not the audition that went wrong, not the blown chance at his restaurant, not even the offensive attitude displayed in that script. As soon as he got back to Uruha, nothing mattered - all was well with the world.
* * *
Kai and Shou were in Uruha's office the next morning, going over details for their next shoot.
“We're supposed to have good weather next week,” Uruha said, “so if it's warm enough, I'd like to shoot the second sex scene between you outdoors. Maybe next to the little brook at the back of the yard.” He was referring to the big house they used as a frequent shooting location, which belonged to their wealthy benefactor.
“We're going to have to rake it good first,” Kai said. “There's a lot of stones and prickly grass there. You'll feel it even through a blanket.”
“Maybe even use two blankets as well,” Shou added.
“Fine,” Uruha said. “Not like our company gives combat pay for . . .”
A knock on the door made them all look up, then at each other quizzically. “Come in,” Uruha called.
The knob turned, and in walked Tananeo. “Forgive the interruption, please.” He bowed. “I would like to speak with Uruha-san for a few moments. Im Tananeo-san, and . . .” He looked over at Kai and Shou. “I believe I owe these gentlemen an apology.”
Uruha stood up, bowing. “It's a pleasure, Tananeo-san,” he said. “but what apology?”
“I'm the director they auditioned for yesterday,” he said. “For . . for a very ill-advised piece of film that's now not going to be made. At least, not by me. I resigned from the production right after I got a good talking-to from Tanabe-san - the one you know as Kai.”
Kai's jaw dropped. Literally. He thought he was going to break his sternum with the impact. “You . . . you just QUIT?”
“I couldn't make that film in good conscience,” Tananeo said. “Not when everything in that script was lies - hurtful lies. I had my doubts about it when my screenwriter - now ex-screenwriter - gave it to me. You confirmed it. So I took another TV job to finance my next real project. It's a lightweight romantic comedy series, but at least it's harmless.”
“That's all very nice,” Uruha said, “and I'm glad Kai could help you see the light about what you were doing wrong, but .. . what do I have to do with it? Why did you need to see me?”
“Ah, that's the next project I was talking about,” Tananeo said. “You see, I've decided to try my hand at screenwriting myself. I've been around the business long enough, I want my feature film debut to be something I really believe in, so I figured - why not? And my first script is going to be a realistic look at the gay porn industry. A positive story about a young man finding happiness and love by that route, so to speak. And so, I'd like your permission to interview you and your staff about your lives. Nothing really personal will be used without your permission, I can assure you that. I just want to make sure I do research - unlike that other guy.”
Uruha sat straight up. “You . . . you're serious?”
“Completely,” Tananeo said. “It's going to delay my feature film debut a bit more than I originally thought, true, but . . . I want to do this. I really do.” He looked at Kai. “And if it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be doing this. I don't know how to thank you.”
Kai glanced at Uruha, then Shou - and then turned toward the mainstream director with a smile.
“You can thank me,” he said, “by giving me a call if you need catering on your set. I'm a trained chef, remember.” Looking over at Shou, he added, “And if you need anyone who needs a young male mode for a photoshoot, you can send them Shou's way.”
“I'll do that,” Tananeo stood up and bowed deeply. “Uruha-san, here is my card.” He handed it over with both hands, head bowed. “I will be in touch.”
“And here is my card,” Uruha said, handing over his own. “Thank you for coming.” He gave a low bow, and waved as the other man left.
Uruha turned around and faced the others. “Well, that was unexpected.”
“But in the end . . . it was great, wasn't it?” Kai said. “I mean, he changed his mind about everything because of us.”
“Because of you,” Shou reminded him. “You were the one who went off on him.”
“Oh, yeah.” Kai rubbed the back of his head and squeezed his eyes shut. “I did get a little carried away there, didn't I?”
“It wasn't a bad thing,” Uruha said. “Not at all. Not when you both picked up the kind of contacts you need . . . without having to deal with Dice types.”
Kai just went over and hugged him. Okay, so things worked out in an odd way. But the bottom line was . . . they worked out, period. Sometimes, things that work out in strange ways bring out the best results.
Like, for instance, Kai's decision to take an unconventional route to financing his culinary degree. That had brought about the best result of all.