your rain fic convinced me to friend you.. you have a way with words that somehow capture a person's idea of his own perception of things. i'm probably saying this wrong, being a very private individual
anyway. your deus ex machina series (i know, i'm bad with titles, just bear with me) is one of the most interesting piece of work i've come across. i hope you integrate into a cohesive whole.
i'm catholic, so my perception of your fic will be probably be a little... more guarded.. perhaps, i was trying to look for a word.
the creator. to a catholic. he is the perfect being. and your fic describes a creator who is ... becoming petty. something i cannot imagine my creator to be.
but i will attempt to suspend that catholic belief when i read your fic, i will try to imagine your universe as you describe it to be.
i only give this info because it may bias me in any concrit.
currently. your 2 chapters leave me thinking.. and that's a good thing. i dont have a handle on your fic yet, but i'm getting a lot of background details..
Re: interesting ...purpleiciclesJune 7 2007, 19:15:12 UTC
Interesting point, I failed to mention the presence of a christian-style God in the liky-bit. I should have done so so I wouldn't offend anyone. My apologies! As a side note, however, this is an AU fic, and isn't intended to be a commentary on modern christianity or my views on their God. I was just caught up with the idea of man being made in God's image... looking around is not too encouraging... ne? Though petty wasn't what I was really going for... more like curious to the point of forgetfulness, like a child, kinda innocent and sweet but prone to potentially hurtful habits, despite the best of intentions.
Plus, THANK YOU FOR FRIENDING ME!!! To do so when I have potentially insulted your faith means a lot to me, and I'll take pains to make sure God doesn't get too petty in my fic - that's not how I want him to be!
Hey, I really liked this chapter. And the last. They're both great. The only thing I would add, I wouldn't change anything, is maybe a small scene near the beginning of this chapter. Chapter one is such a detailed and complex chapter, it almost seems like you need to ease into chapter two. I think, and this just me, that chapter 2's character intros should start a little later in the chapter. I don't know, maybe describe where Raziel is and then move on to the character's thoughts and intros.
its just me, the chapter really is very interesting and damn well written. ~~~ .and my suggestion is only a suggestion... :) cameraman
I've been trying to put in a bit more scenery and stuff in the rewrite, and this would probably be one of the most pertinent places to put some, now that I think about it. Thank you very much! I'll get right on it!
Oooooooooh, I really like this one!! This is really good, and it's interesting that the characters are against God. One thing though: you need to decide what verb tense you're going to use. In the first part, you have past tense, like "Raziel looked to the heavens" and in the second part, you have the present tense, like "The shadow dips in height". I think it sounds better and would be easier if you kept everything in past tense. Other than that, this was very well done and I really like it. More, please!!!
Comments 5
you have a way with words that somehow capture a person's idea of his own perception of things.
i'm probably saying this wrong, being a very private individual
anyway. your deus ex machina series (i know, i'm bad with titles, just bear with me) is one of the most interesting piece of work i've come across. i hope you integrate into a cohesive whole.
i'm catholic, so my perception of your fic will be probably be a little... more guarded.. perhaps, i was trying to look for a word.
the creator. to a catholic. he is the perfect being.
and your fic describes a creator who is ... becoming petty.
something i cannot imagine my creator to be.
but i will attempt to suspend that catholic belief when i read your fic,
i will try to imagine your universe as you describe it to be.
i only give this info because it may bias me in any concrit.
currently. your 2 chapters leave me thinking..
and that's a good thing. i dont have a handle on your fic yet,
but i'm getting a lot of background details..
Reply
Plus, THANK YOU FOR FRIENDING ME!!! To do so when I have potentially insulted your faith means a lot to me, and I'll take pains to make sure God doesn't get too petty in my fic - that's not how I want him to be!
Reply
its just me, the chapter really is very interesting and damn well written. ~~~ .and my suggestion is only a suggestion... :) cameraman
Reply
I've been trying to put in a bit more scenery and stuff in the rewrite, and this would probably be one of the most pertinent places to put some, now that I think about it. Thank you very much! I'll get right on it!
Reply
Reply
Leave a comment