[fanfic] - changing part 3/8

[purpleicicles]

Third chapter! Finally finished writng the whole thing today, so I'll post each chapter as it's typed. Many thanks again to all those who asked for a continuation, and as usual, concrit appreciated

Comments

[winged_sandals]

Aha, so there is another chapter out!

I really like the idea of underground limiter-makers. It seems like that's how it would work.

As far as constructive criticism goes, the last bit of dialogue (between Gojyo and Zhu) was just a little hard for me to follow in some places. It was a little difficult to tell who was talking. But not enough so to cause a huge problem, or anything.

That reminds me, I also like Zhu. Or, well, I kind of dislike him (and if he and his partner do anything bad to Gojyo I'll have to officially hate both of them), but you described him really well and he seems like an interesting character.

Looking forward to more!

[purpleicicles]

I'm glad this is believable so far! I was worried over how people would respond to Zhu, particularly as he's a character I just made up, and not from the manga, but I was going for a bit of ambiguousness with him - even I'm not sure whether I like him or not ^^;;;

I hate ding long tracts of dialogue for the very reson that it can get repetitive and hard to follow, so I might go back and try to fiddle a bit...

[candika]

I really like these. Such an interesting idea. Of course the limiter-makers would have gone underground. I have a feeling Gojyo's in deep trouble.

[purpleicicles]

When is he ever not? ^^;;;

[cornerofmadness]

still enjoying this