Fic: A Heavy Heart to Carry 6/16 [Glee]
Title: A Heavy Heart to Carry
Author: purplehrdwonder
Rating: R
Genre/pairing: Mentions of Kurt/Blaine and one-sided Sebastian/Blaine
Characters: Blaine, Kurt, Sebastian, Burt, Carole, Cooper
Word count: 4,085
Warnings: Homophobic language, mostly off-screen violence
Spoilers: Through 4x10
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Summary: When a hate crime leaves Blaine in the hospital and re-opens old hurts he'd thought buried, Kurt and Sebastian grudgingly work together to look after him, neither trusting the other not to hurt Blaine further.
Chapter 6
Kurt watched in silent anticipation as his father stared at his ringing phone, mouth still open from whatever he’d been about to say, before he shook himself and snagged the offending object from the coffee table. He checked the caller ID and sighed before glancing between Finn, Kurt, and Carole.
“Stephanie,” he said by way of explanation before answering the call.
Kurt let out a breath. Of course Burt’s assistant would call in the wake of… whatever the hell this had become. Kurt had met Stephanie a handful of times; she worked with his dad while he was in D.C., helping run his office while Congress was in session. She also lived in D.C. so usually stayed there when Burt was in Ohio unless it was on official duty.
Kurt liked Stephanie well enough; she was in her mid-20s with a degree in political science. She’d bounced around doing various odd jobs after graduating; she wanted to work in politics but had been forced to wait tables to make rent. She said she’d applied to be Burt’s assistant because she admired his stance on LGBT rights-she’d had a cousin commit suicide in high school after being bullied for his sexuality and very few people in power were making the effort to do anything about these tragedies-and Burt had been sold. Kurt thought she was a little too serious at times, but he’d also only met her while she was on duty and he could only assume her job was stressful.
“Stephanie,” Burt greeted, eyes immediately screwing shut in annoyance at whatever Stephanie was saying on the other end of the line. “Yes, I saw it. I- What?”
Burt fell silent for a long stretch, and Kurt exchanged a nervous look with Carole.
“I… Okay, we’ll issue a statement then,” Burt said at last. “Hang on. I’m putting you on speaker.” He pulled the phone from his ear and clicked a few buttons before finally nodding. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” Stephanie’s tinny voice echoed through the room.
Burt turned back to his family and ran a hand over his face before speaking. “Stephanie thinks we need to release a statement to the press.”
“What kind of statement?” Carole asked, moving to sit next to her husband.
“I recommended that we say something about the personal matter of the affair and that your family requests privacy during the trying time.”
Kurt flinched at the reduction of Blaine being beaten and his fight for his life to a single word, affair, but said nothing. The entire thing sounded so stilted and forced-the very thing Kurt hated about politics, no matter how proud he was of his father for making a difference. And while Kurt knew Stephanie was just doing her job, that didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Will it help?” Carole asked.
“Will it get you privacy? Probably not,” Stephanie replied matter-of-factly. “But it at least it puts a human face to-”
Kurt’s eyes narrowed. “Human face?” he repeated, leaving the doorway to stand next to Finn. “Blaine’s face isn’t human enough?” He thought of Blaine-bright, kind, energetic Blaine-pale and tiny in that hospital bed, his body a canvas of mottled bruises, and felt his anger boiling over.
“Kurt-” Burt started.
But Kurt shook his head. “No, Dad. How is the fact that Blaine nearly died not human enough? He could still-”
Kurt’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just said. The anger instantly drained from his body and he sank, boneless, onto the couch.
Nearly died. Could still. He’d thought it before now, sitting at Blaine’s bedside and listening to the beeping of the machines that were helping keep him alive. But now he’d said it out loud, which somehow made it more real. Blaine could still…
Kurt buried his face in his hands. Oh god.
He felt a hand rubbing soothing circles on his back-Carole, probably-but couldn’t bring himself to look up. His dad had taken up the conversation again at some point, but Kurt stopped listening to the words. He was raw and shaken and he didn’t know how to do this. Not again, not with Blaine.
Blaine was supposed to be his constant. He’d been that from the moment they’d met and through their friendship before they’d gotten together. Even after they’d broken up, the calls and texts that Kurt had ignored had been a reminder that Blaine was still there; they’d been a painful reminder, but their absence would’ve hurt worse. And when Kurt had gotten the news about his dad’s cancer, Blaine had been his rock, missing Christmas with his own family to be there for his ex-boyfriend.
But between Blaine moving on and his uncertain prognosis, Kurt suddenly found himself adrift without the anchor he’d been taking for granted.
“Kurt, honey,” Carole said after a while, “it’s late. Why don’t you get some sleep?”
Kurt finally pulled his face from his hands to see his stepmother watching him carefully. Finn had disappeared at some point and his dad was sitting back in his armchair, having apparently finished up his phone call during Kurt’s silent freakout.
“I… What?”
Carole gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled gently. “It’s late and you’ve had a long day. And I know you’re going to want to leave early in the morning to get back to Westerville.”
It took a moment for Carole’s words to register through the fog of guilt and worry hanging over his head. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”
He glanced back at his dad, who nodded. “Get some sleep, kid.”
“You too, Dad,” Kurt replied as he pushed himself to his feet, not having it in him to argue.
Burt’s lips twitched in a smile and he nodded. “See you in the morning.”
Kurt headed off to his room and changed into his pajamas. He did an abbreviated version of his skincare routine on autopilot before crashing face-first into his bed. Sighing, Kurt turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
It took him a long time to fall asleep.
-----
Burt roused Kurt early the next morning. They were mostly silent as they hurried through their morning routines to get back on the road. Carole made an appearance in her bathrobe as they were taking their bags out to Burt’s car. She hugged them both tightly and said, “Call the minute something changes.”
“You got it,” Burt replied, kissing his wife.
Kurt swallowed and looked away, watching the first rays of sun peek over the tops of the neighboring houses. If they left now, they should get to Westerville around eight. He started when his father’s hand fell on his shoulder. Burt gave him a wan smile and nodded toward his car.
“You ready?”
Kurt nodded and waved at Carole once more before climbing into the passenger seat. The ride was silent, and Kurt was antsy in his seat. Once he’d actually drifted off the night before, he hadn’t slept well; the idea of the media covering the attack made something uncomfortable squirm in Kurt’s chest. He knew that getting the assholes who’d hurt Blaine’s pictures on the news could break the case open, but at the same time, this was a conservative community and there were bound to be people judging Blaine, as he lay comatose in the hospital, for simply being who he was. The last thing any of them needed was for this to be politicized.
Though it was probably too late for that.
Maybe if they ignored it, it would just go away…
But when they pulled into the Westerville Memorial parking lot, it looked as though that would be impossible. There were reporters waiting on the sidewalk. At least they wouldn’t be able to go inside and see Blaine, Kurt thought morosely. Once they’d parked, Kurt shared a look with his dad, and they took off toward the entrance. When the reporters spotted them, cameras started going off, but Kurt and Burt just kept walking.
“Congressman! Any comment on Blaine Anderson?”
“Why are you here, sir? Where are his parents?”
“Congressman!”
Kurt’s stomach clenched at the mention of Blaine’s parents. Neither he nor Cooper had been able to get in touch with them, either by phone or email. At the very least, they could only hope the Andersons would check their messages the next time they got to a port, but no one knew what their itinerary was.
“Guys, this is a trying time for our family and the Andersons,” Burt said as they made their way to the doors, sounding like he was reciting something Stephanie had told him to say, which he probably was now that Kurt thought about it, “and we’d appreciate some privacy. That’s it.”
They picked up their pace after that, sighing in relief once they made it inside. They headed down the now familiar halls toward the ICU and went through the protocols of turning their phones off, washing their hands, and signing in. They were rounding the reception desk when the nurse Kurt remembered kicking them out the first night hurried up to them, eyes wide.
“Did something happen?” Burt asked immediately, noticing her expression.
The nurse nodded for them to follow her toward Blaine’s room. “It’s good news,” she assured them as they walked. They stopped outside Blaine’s door and she looked between them, breaking into a smile. “The swelling in his brain went down significantly overnight.”
Kurt’s stomach swooped. “What does that mean?” he breathed.
The nurse smiled kindly at him. “It means that he should wake up soon.”
-----
Kurt was still reeling from the news when he and his dad went for lunch. Blaine hadn’t looked any different than the day before, though Kurt kept checking his face for any signs of waking, but the nurse assured them that he was fighting-and winning. And those had been the best words Kurt had heard in a long time. It was early afternoon when they went down to the cafeteria to avoid any reporters that might still be outside. Once they grabbed their food and sat down, Kurt turned his phone on to call Carole and Finn. He blinked.
“I have a voicemail from Cooper,” he told his father, hitting the button to check the message.
“Hey Kurt, it’s o’dark thirty here in Canadia, but the blizzard’s finally let up and they’re scheduling flights again. I’m on a flight into Columbus that should get in around 5:00 tonight. I’ll rent a car when I get into town and head right to the hospital. Call me if anything changes, okay?”
Kurt saved the message and looked up at his dad. “Cooper’s got a flight. He’s getting into Columbus around 5:00.”
Burt sighed in relief. “You should call him. Tell him the news. I’ll call Carole.”
Kurt nodded and hit Cooper’s number as Burt dialed his own phone. Cooper picked up on the third ring. “Kurt? I’m sitting on the plane right now. Did something happen?”
“Hi to you too, Cooper,” Kurt replied as Burt started speaking quietly across the table. He tuned out his father’s voice, focusing on Blaine’s brother. “I just got your message.”
“Oh.” He audibly deflated at that, and Kurt realized that Cooper must’ve been expecting bad news if he was getting a call right before he was set to leave.
Probably should’ve led with the good news, Kurt thought guiltily.
“Yeah. And Blaine?” Cooper asked hesitantly.
“Good news,” Kurt told him. “The swelling in his brain went down overnight. They think he should wake up in the next day or so.”
Cooper let out a long sigh of relief. “Oh thank god.”
“They said they won’t be able to tell the... extent of the damage until he’s awake, but they-” Kurt paused, choking up. “They’re optimistic, Cooper,” he finally managed, as much reminding himself of the doctor’s words when he’d come into the room that morning as he was telling Cooper. He didn’t think he would believe it until he saw Blaine’s beautiful hazel eyes again, not when he looked so small and broken in that bed. But that wasn’t what Cooper needed to hear.
“Thank god,” Cooper repeated. He took a steadying breath. “I guess I should call our parents. In case they actually check their phones before the cruise ends.”
Kurt nodded before remembering that Cooper couldn’t see him. “Still haven’t heard from them?”
A heavy sigh. “No. I mean, I’m not surprised they wouldn’t have their phones on, but you’d think the ship would have internet access or something.”
Kurt silently agreed, but he figured he should try for a show of support anyway. “Internet’s probably not cheap, if they can get a connection at all. And that’s if they even brought their computers.”
Cooper snorted. “I’m sure my dad did. Heaven forbid the man be away from work for more than a few minutes,” he said bitterly before clearing his throat and reining himself in. “Sorry, Kurt. I shouldn’t be putting our shitty family issues on you.”
Kurt had heard Anderson family stories from Blaine’s perspective, but it was interesting to hear that Cooper had many of the same issues with their parents as his little brother. Cooper was the golden child of the family as far as Blaine was concerned, and yet…
“It’s okay. Just keep trying, I guess?”
Cooper huffed a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I guess. Anyway, the stewardess is giving me a dirty look. Call me if…”
“If he wakes up, you’ll be the first to know,” Kurt agreed, feeling his pulse speed up at the thought.
“Okay. Thanks. I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Kurt took a deep breath as he ended the call. His dad was still talking to Carole, so he started going through his text messages. He sent one off to Finn, though Carole had probably already told him, and another to Rachel with the update. He’d leave it to Finn to tell the rest of New Directions. He considered some of the texts from various Warblers but decided he wasn’t ready to open that can of worms yet.
He picked at the sad-looking sandwich he’d grabbed from the food line until his dad hung up.
“You going to eat that or just keep torturing it?” Burt asked.
Kurt rolled his eyes and took a bite, managing to swallow the dry, flavorless excuse for food. “Satisfied?”
Burt shook his head but turned back to his own food, and they ate in silence after that. There wasn’t much to say. In truth, Kurt was afraid to get his hopes up; he was terrified that Blaine would wake up, only to have lost his memory or have suffered some other kind of brain damage that the doctors would be on the lookout for. The thought of losing Blaine was terrifying, but the thought of him being physically present without any hint of who he’d been before the attack was even worse.
His meager appetite disappeared once the thought occurred to him, so he just waited for his dad to finish eating. Burt gave him a look but mercifully didn’t comment, instead just getting up to toss his trash. Kurt wordlessly followed, and they headed back to Blaine’s room.
Kurt sighed when he saw a familiar figure in the window by Blaine’s bed. Shouldn’t he be in school or something? he thought irritably.
Sebastian looked up when Kurt and his father entered the room. He looked haggard like he had the day before, but there was something looser in his posture as he sat in his chair. Kurt simply nodded once at him and took up his usual seat on the other side of Blaine’s bed.
“Skipping classes again?” Burt asked from the doorway.
Sebastian started, but quickly recovered himself. “I worked ahead last night to get my assignments done.” Kurt raised an eyebrow at that, and Sebastian glanced at him. “What?”
Kurt shrugged. “I never took you for the academic type.”
Sebastian snorted. “My father is a State’s attorney, Hummel. You really think anything less than a stellar GPA would be satisfactory to him?”
Kurt exchanged a glance with his father, but Burt just shrugged. The room fell into silence after that, the beeping sounds of the machines Blaine was hooked up to echoing through the uncomfortable quiet.
“I talked to the nurse when I got here,” Sebastian said after a few minutes. “Heard the good news.” Well, that explained his more relaxed posture, Kurt supposed. But something still didn’t feel right…
“So you also know that he’s not out of the woods yet,” Kurt said, suddenly feeling the need to challenge the other boy. Even if Blaine did have the brain damage the doctors were concerned about, Kurt would still be there for him. Because he loved Blaine. But Sebastian had always been after Blaine because he was gorgeous and talented. If he lost the superficial things that had attracted Sebastian in the first place, what would Sebastian do? Kurt had his suspicions.
Sebastian fixed him with a level look. “Yeah. They’re worried he might have brain damage.”
“And if he does?” Kurt pressed.
Sebastian looked at him, assessing, for a long moment before shaking his head. “Then we deal with it.”
Kurt made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat. He didn’t trust Sebastian to stay, and he didn’t want Blaine to be hurt worse by the fact that someone he considered a friend had left him when he needed him the most.
But a dark look crossed Sebastian’s face. He grabbed his blazer from the back of the chair and pushed himself to his feet sharply. He headed for the door, his movements jerky.
He’s angry, Kurt realized in surprise.
“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?” Sebastian shook his head with a grimace. “I’ll be back.” And then he was gone.
Kurt’s mouth worked at that. Had he miscalculated? He glanced over at his dad, who was regarding him coolly.
“Want to tell me what that was about?”
“I…”
“Kurt.” There was the tone that brooked no argument.
Kurt sighed, still staring at the empty doorway. God, Blaine would’ve be pissed at him if he’d been awake to see that. “I… may have misjudged him.”
-----
Sebastian returned a half hour later. He nodded at Burt when he walked back in but completely ignored Kurt as he settled back into the empty chair at Blaine’s side. Kurt bit his lip; he knew he should apologize, but this was Sebastian. The silence in the room was stifling. Finally, Burt shook his head and pushed himself up from his perch against the wall.
He nodded to Kurt. “I’m going to drop our bags off at the Andersons’.”
He inclined his head at Sebastian, who’d pulled a textbook out when he’d come back and was reading. Apologize, the look said.
Kurt pursed his lips. I don’t know.
His dad raised an eyebrow. Kurt.
Kurt’s shoulders slumped after a long moment. Fine.
Burt nodded and turned to the door. “I’ll be back soon. Call me if anything happens.”
Kurt nodded and, after one final look, Burt left. Kurt absently hoped those reporters had left-and that none had taken their place.
“Do you guys always do that silent ESP shit?” Sebastian asked once the door shut, eyes never leaving the book in his lap.
Kurt started. “What?”
Sebastian looked up, his features carefully neutral. “Whatever that was with your dad,” he clarified. “Just now.”
Kurt shrugged, covering his surprise that Sebastian had noticed. “Sometimes. Mostly when he’s telling me I’m being an idiot.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at that, and Kurt rubbed a hand over his face. His pride was already aching, and he hadn’t even spoken yet. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed. “I was rude. I shouldn’t have assumed anything about you and Blaine.”
Sebastian was silent for a moment, but he finally leaned forward in his chair. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have assumed.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I know what you think of me, Kurt. And honestly? I don’t care. I don’t particularly like you either.”
Kurt opened his mouth to retort, but Sebastian cut him off, picking up steam as he spoke.
“I saw Blaine in the wake of your breakup, you know? He was a mess. He was like a shadow of himself. The day he came back to Dalton…” Sebastian trailed off, shaking his head. “That day, I think he was at his lowest, blaming himself for your entire relationship going bad. And no one else seemed to care.”
Kurt’s stomach twisted. Those months ago, part of him had maliciously hoped that every unreturned phone call or text would cause Blaine the pain it was causing him to ignore them. He’d destroyed their relationship, and Kurt had wanted him to feel what he’d screwed up.
But, months removed from the breakup, Kurt had realized that they’d been having problems long before Blaine had cheated. That had been something he’d wanted to talk about this week, now that he’d finally understood… And the thought that Sebastian had been there to offer comfort? That left a sour taste in Kurt’s mouth.
“But you know what?” Sebastian continued, pulling Kurt from his reverie. “I saw when he started building himself back up, too. I was there when he finally started opening up to people again and healing. I was there when he finally started moving on. I’ve seen him at his best and his worst and I haven’t gone anywhere, unlike some people. So whatever you think about me, just know that my caring about him is not conditional.”
Kurt reeled back as though he’d been slapped. “I…”
Sebastian shook his head. “Save it, Kurt. We both know that at the end of the week you’re going back to New York to your glamorous life. But Blaine’s still going to be here. And you know who is going to be there for him? Me. And his friends at McKinley.” Kurt thought back to the picture of Sam and Blaine on Blaine’s nightstand and felt his insides twist further. “So don’t go getting all high and mighty.”
Kurt’s mind went blank as Sebastian eyed him a moment longer before turning back to his book. He’s been wanting to say that for a while, he realized. And his words had hit their mark. But the worst part was that he was right-Kurt had a life waiting for him back in New York. He’d thought Sebastian would be the one to leave Blaine, but in reality it would be Kurt leaving.
Kurt bit his lip and looked back at Blaine. God, he loved that boy so much. When he’d booked his flight to Lima, Kurt had been determined to tell Blaine that he’d finally had his moment (Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever) and that he knew Blaine and only Blaine was what he wanted. He was ready to make things work. But at the end of the week, no matter where they would’ve stood, Kurt would still be getting on a plane back to New York-to NYADA and Vogue, to his apartment in Bushwick and Rachel, and to six hundred miles between him and Blaine.
Kurt dropped his face into his hands. Was he just being selfish again? Was he setting himself and Blaine up for more heartache? And now that Blaine needed the people who loved him more than ever, Kurt’s presence had a time limit.
Sebastian had made it clear just from his presence during the school day that he was willing to make Blaine a priority. He really cares for Blaine, Kurt thought, something cold settling in his gut. Could Kurt do the same thing? Could Kurt put Blaine over everything he’d worked so hard to achieve in New York?
Wasn’t that what love was, making sacrifices for the person you cared for?
Hadn’t Blaine done that for him over and over?
Something clicked inside Kurt in that moment, and it was as though the world had shifted into sharper focus when he looked up again. He knew with absolute certainty what he had to do-no, what he was willing to do for the boy he loved.
Determined, he turned back to Blaine, ready to make a silent promise. He was about to take the other boy’s hand when he froze in shock.
Familiar hazel eyes were watching him.
Kurt gasped. “Blaine?”
tbc...
Previous chapter | Next chapter
Author: purplehrdwonder
Rating: R
Genre/pairing: Mentions of Kurt/Blaine and one-sided Sebastian/Blaine
Characters: Blaine, Kurt, Sebastian, Burt, Carole, Cooper
Word count: 4,085
Warnings: Homophobic language, mostly off-screen violence
Spoilers: Through 4x10
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Summary: When a hate crime leaves Blaine in the hospital and re-opens old hurts he'd thought buried, Kurt and Sebastian grudgingly work together to look after him, neither trusting the other not to hurt Blaine further.
Chapter 6
Kurt watched in silent anticipation as his father stared at his ringing phone, mouth still open from whatever he’d been about to say, before he shook himself and snagged the offending object from the coffee table. He checked the caller ID and sighed before glancing between Finn, Kurt, and Carole.
“Stephanie,” he said by way of explanation before answering the call.
Kurt let out a breath. Of course Burt’s assistant would call in the wake of… whatever the hell this had become. Kurt had met Stephanie a handful of times; she worked with his dad while he was in D.C., helping run his office while Congress was in session. She also lived in D.C. so usually stayed there when Burt was in Ohio unless it was on official duty.
Kurt liked Stephanie well enough; she was in her mid-20s with a degree in political science. She’d bounced around doing various odd jobs after graduating; she wanted to work in politics but had been forced to wait tables to make rent. She said she’d applied to be Burt’s assistant because she admired his stance on LGBT rights-she’d had a cousin commit suicide in high school after being bullied for his sexuality and very few people in power were making the effort to do anything about these tragedies-and Burt had been sold. Kurt thought she was a little too serious at times, but he’d also only met her while she was on duty and he could only assume her job was stressful.
“Stephanie,” Burt greeted, eyes immediately screwing shut in annoyance at whatever Stephanie was saying on the other end of the line. “Yes, I saw it. I- What?”
Burt fell silent for a long stretch, and Kurt exchanged a nervous look with Carole.
“I… Okay, we’ll issue a statement then,” Burt said at last. “Hang on. I’m putting you on speaker.” He pulled the phone from his ear and clicked a few buttons before finally nodding. “Can you hear me?”
“Yes, sir,” Stephanie’s tinny voice echoed through the room.
Burt turned back to his family and ran a hand over his face before speaking. “Stephanie thinks we need to release a statement to the press.”
“What kind of statement?” Carole asked, moving to sit next to her husband.
“I recommended that we say something about the personal matter of the affair and that your family requests privacy during the trying time.”
Kurt flinched at the reduction of Blaine being beaten and his fight for his life to a single word, affair, but said nothing. The entire thing sounded so stilted and forced-the very thing Kurt hated about politics, no matter how proud he was of his father for making a difference. And while Kurt knew Stephanie was just doing her job, that didn’t make it hurt any less.
“Will it help?” Carole asked.
“Will it get you privacy? Probably not,” Stephanie replied matter-of-factly. “But it at least it puts a human face to-”
Kurt’s eyes narrowed. “Human face?” he repeated, leaving the doorway to stand next to Finn. “Blaine’s face isn’t human enough?” He thought of Blaine-bright, kind, energetic Blaine-pale and tiny in that hospital bed, his body a canvas of mottled bruises, and felt his anger boiling over.
“Kurt-” Burt started.
But Kurt shook his head. “No, Dad. How is the fact that Blaine nearly died not human enough? He could still-”
Kurt’s eyes widened as he realized what he’d just said. The anger instantly drained from his body and he sank, boneless, onto the couch.
Nearly died. Could still. He’d thought it before now, sitting at Blaine’s bedside and listening to the beeping of the machines that were helping keep him alive. But now he’d said it out loud, which somehow made it more real. Blaine could still…
Kurt buried his face in his hands. Oh god.
He felt a hand rubbing soothing circles on his back-Carole, probably-but couldn’t bring himself to look up. His dad had taken up the conversation again at some point, but Kurt stopped listening to the words. He was raw and shaken and he didn’t know how to do this. Not again, not with Blaine.
Blaine was supposed to be his constant. He’d been that from the moment they’d met and through their friendship before they’d gotten together. Even after they’d broken up, the calls and texts that Kurt had ignored had been a reminder that Blaine was still there; they’d been a painful reminder, but their absence would’ve hurt worse. And when Kurt had gotten the news about his dad’s cancer, Blaine had been his rock, missing Christmas with his own family to be there for his ex-boyfriend.
But between Blaine moving on and his uncertain prognosis, Kurt suddenly found himself adrift without the anchor he’d been taking for granted.
“Kurt, honey,” Carole said after a while, “it’s late. Why don’t you get some sleep?”
Kurt finally pulled his face from his hands to see his stepmother watching him carefully. Finn had disappeared at some point and his dad was sitting back in his armchair, having apparently finished up his phone call during Kurt’s silent freakout.
“I… What?”
Carole gave his shoulder a squeeze and smiled gently. “It’s late and you’ve had a long day. And I know you’re going to want to leave early in the morning to get back to Westerville.”
It took a moment for Carole’s words to register through the fog of guilt and worry hanging over his head. “Uh, yeah. I guess.”
He glanced back at his dad, who nodded. “Get some sleep, kid.”
“You too, Dad,” Kurt replied as he pushed himself to his feet, not having it in him to argue.
Burt’s lips twitched in a smile and he nodded. “See you in the morning.”
Kurt headed off to his room and changed into his pajamas. He did an abbreviated version of his skincare routine on autopilot before crashing face-first into his bed. Sighing, Kurt turned onto his back and stared at the ceiling.
It took him a long time to fall asleep.
-----
Burt roused Kurt early the next morning. They were mostly silent as they hurried through their morning routines to get back on the road. Carole made an appearance in her bathrobe as they were taking their bags out to Burt’s car. She hugged them both tightly and said, “Call the minute something changes.”
“You got it,” Burt replied, kissing his wife.
Kurt swallowed and looked away, watching the first rays of sun peek over the tops of the neighboring houses. If they left now, they should get to Westerville around eight. He started when his father’s hand fell on his shoulder. Burt gave him a wan smile and nodded toward his car.
“You ready?”
Kurt nodded and waved at Carole once more before climbing into the passenger seat. The ride was silent, and Kurt was antsy in his seat. Once he’d actually drifted off the night before, he hadn’t slept well; the idea of the media covering the attack made something uncomfortable squirm in Kurt’s chest. He knew that getting the assholes who’d hurt Blaine’s pictures on the news could break the case open, but at the same time, this was a conservative community and there were bound to be people judging Blaine, as he lay comatose in the hospital, for simply being who he was. The last thing any of them needed was for this to be politicized.
Though it was probably too late for that.
Maybe if they ignored it, it would just go away…
But when they pulled into the Westerville Memorial parking lot, it looked as though that would be impossible. There were reporters waiting on the sidewalk. At least they wouldn’t be able to go inside and see Blaine, Kurt thought morosely. Once they’d parked, Kurt shared a look with his dad, and they took off toward the entrance. When the reporters spotted them, cameras started going off, but Kurt and Burt just kept walking.
“Congressman! Any comment on Blaine Anderson?”
“Why are you here, sir? Where are his parents?”
“Congressman!”
Kurt’s stomach clenched at the mention of Blaine’s parents. Neither he nor Cooper had been able to get in touch with them, either by phone or email. At the very least, they could only hope the Andersons would check their messages the next time they got to a port, but no one knew what their itinerary was.
“Guys, this is a trying time for our family and the Andersons,” Burt said as they made their way to the doors, sounding like he was reciting something Stephanie had told him to say, which he probably was now that Kurt thought about it, “and we’d appreciate some privacy. That’s it.”
They picked up their pace after that, sighing in relief once they made it inside. They headed down the now familiar halls toward the ICU and went through the protocols of turning their phones off, washing their hands, and signing in. They were rounding the reception desk when the nurse Kurt remembered kicking them out the first night hurried up to them, eyes wide.
“Did something happen?” Burt asked immediately, noticing her expression.
The nurse nodded for them to follow her toward Blaine’s room. “It’s good news,” she assured them as they walked. They stopped outside Blaine’s door and she looked between them, breaking into a smile. “The swelling in his brain went down significantly overnight.”
Kurt’s stomach swooped. “What does that mean?” he breathed.
The nurse smiled kindly at him. “It means that he should wake up soon.”
-----
Kurt was still reeling from the news when he and his dad went for lunch. Blaine hadn’t looked any different than the day before, though Kurt kept checking his face for any signs of waking, but the nurse assured them that he was fighting-and winning. And those had been the best words Kurt had heard in a long time. It was early afternoon when they went down to the cafeteria to avoid any reporters that might still be outside. Once they grabbed their food and sat down, Kurt turned his phone on to call Carole and Finn. He blinked.
“I have a voicemail from Cooper,” he told his father, hitting the button to check the message.
“Hey Kurt, it’s o’dark thirty here in Canadia, but the blizzard’s finally let up and they’re scheduling flights again. I’m on a flight into Columbus that should get in around 5:00 tonight. I’ll rent a car when I get into town and head right to the hospital. Call me if anything changes, okay?”
Kurt saved the message and looked up at his dad. “Cooper’s got a flight. He’s getting into Columbus around 5:00.”
Burt sighed in relief. “You should call him. Tell him the news. I’ll call Carole.”
Kurt nodded and hit Cooper’s number as Burt dialed his own phone. Cooper picked up on the third ring. “Kurt? I’m sitting on the plane right now. Did something happen?”
“Hi to you too, Cooper,” Kurt replied as Burt started speaking quietly across the table. He tuned out his father’s voice, focusing on Blaine’s brother. “I just got your message.”
“Oh.” He audibly deflated at that, and Kurt realized that Cooper must’ve been expecting bad news if he was getting a call right before he was set to leave.
Probably should’ve led with the good news, Kurt thought guiltily.
“Yeah. And Blaine?” Cooper asked hesitantly.
“Good news,” Kurt told him. “The swelling in his brain went down overnight. They think he should wake up in the next day or so.”
Cooper let out a long sigh of relief. “Oh thank god.”
“They said they won’t be able to tell the... extent of the damage until he’s awake, but they-” Kurt paused, choking up. “They’re optimistic, Cooper,” he finally managed, as much reminding himself of the doctor’s words when he’d come into the room that morning as he was telling Cooper. He didn’t think he would believe it until he saw Blaine’s beautiful hazel eyes again, not when he looked so small and broken in that bed. But that wasn’t what Cooper needed to hear.
“Thank god,” Cooper repeated. He took a steadying breath. “I guess I should call our parents. In case they actually check their phones before the cruise ends.”
Kurt nodded before remembering that Cooper couldn’t see him. “Still haven’t heard from them?”
A heavy sigh. “No. I mean, I’m not surprised they wouldn’t have their phones on, but you’d think the ship would have internet access or something.”
Kurt silently agreed, but he figured he should try for a show of support anyway. “Internet’s probably not cheap, if they can get a connection at all. And that’s if they even brought their computers.”
Cooper snorted. “I’m sure my dad did. Heaven forbid the man be away from work for more than a few minutes,” he said bitterly before clearing his throat and reining himself in. “Sorry, Kurt. I shouldn’t be putting our shitty family issues on you.”
Kurt had heard Anderson family stories from Blaine’s perspective, but it was interesting to hear that Cooper had many of the same issues with their parents as his little brother. Cooper was the golden child of the family as far as Blaine was concerned, and yet…
“It’s okay. Just keep trying, I guess?”
Cooper huffed a humorless laugh. “Yeah, I guess. Anyway, the stewardess is giving me a dirty look. Call me if…”
“If he wakes up, you’ll be the first to know,” Kurt agreed, feeling his pulse speed up at the thought.
“Okay. Thanks. I guess I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Kurt took a deep breath as he ended the call. His dad was still talking to Carole, so he started going through his text messages. He sent one off to Finn, though Carole had probably already told him, and another to Rachel with the update. He’d leave it to Finn to tell the rest of New Directions. He considered some of the texts from various Warblers but decided he wasn’t ready to open that can of worms yet.
He picked at the sad-looking sandwich he’d grabbed from the food line until his dad hung up.
“You going to eat that or just keep torturing it?” Burt asked.
Kurt rolled his eyes and took a bite, managing to swallow the dry, flavorless excuse for food. “Satisfied?”
Burt shook his head but turned back to his own food, and they ate in silence after that. There wasn’t much to say. In truth, Kurt was afraid to get his hopes up; he was terrified that Blaine would wake up, only to have lost his memory or have suffered some other kind of brain damage that the doctors would be on the lookout for. The thought of losing Blaine was terrifying, but the thought of him being physically present without any hint of who he’d been before the attack was even worse.
His meager appetite disappeared once the thought occurred to him, so he just waited for his dad to finish eating. Burt gave him a look but mercifully didn’t comment, instead just getting up to toss his trash. Kurt wordlessly followed, and they headed back to Blaine’s room.
Kurt sighed when he saw a familiar figure in the window by Blaine’s bed. Shouldn’t he be in school or something? he thought irritably.
Sebastian looked up when Kurt and his father entered the room. He looked haggard like he had the day before, but there was something looser in his posture as he sat in his chair. Kurt simply nodded once at him and took up his usual seat on the other side of Blaine’s bed.
“Skipping classes again?” Burt asked from the doorway.
Sebastian started, but quickly recovered himself. “I worked ahead last night to get my assignments done.” Kurt raised an eyebrow at that, and Sebastian glanced at him. “What?”
Kurt shrugged. “I never took you for the academic type.”
Sebastian snorted. “My father is a State’s attorney, Hummel. You really think anything less than a stellar GPA would be satisfactory to him?”
Kurt exchanged a glance with his father, but Burt just shrugged. The room fell into silence after that, the beeping sounds of the machines Blaine was hooked up to echoing through the uncomfortable quiet.
“I talked to the nurse when I got here,” Sebastian said after a few minutes. “Heard the good news.” Well, that explained his more relaxed posture, Kurt supposed. But something still didn’t feel right…
“So you also know that he’s not out of the woods yet,” Kurt said, suddenly feeling the need to challenge the other boy. Even if Blaine did have the brain damage the doctors were concerned about, Kurt would still be there for him. Because he loved Blaine. But Sebastian had always been after Blaine because he was gorgeous and talented. If he lost the superficial things that had attracted Sebastian in the first place, what would Sebastian do? Kurt had his suspicions.
Sebastian fixed him with a level look. “Yeah. They’re worried he might have brain damage.”
“And if he does?” Kurt pressed.
Sebastian looked at him, assessing, for a long moment before shaking his head. “Then we deal with it.”
Kurt made a disbelieving noise in the back of his throat. He didn’t trust Sebastian to stay, and he didn’t want Blaine to be hurt worse by the fact that someone he considered a friend had left him when he needed him the most.
But a dark look crossed Sebastian’s face. He grabbed his blazer from the back of the chair and pushed himself to his feet sharply. He headed for the door, his movements jerky.
He’s angry, Kurt realized in surprise.
“You’re kind of an asshole, you know that?” Sebastian shook his head with a grimace. “I’ll be back.” And then he was gone.
Kurt’s mouth worked at that. Had he miscalculated? He glanced over at his dad, who was regarding him coolly.
“Want to tell me what that was about?”
“I…”
“Kurt.” There was the tone that brooked no argument.
Kurt sighed, still staring at the empty doorway. God, Blaine would’ve be pissed at him if he’d been awake to see that. “I… may have misjudged him.”
-----
Sebastian returned a half hour later. He nodded at Burt when he walked back in but completely ignored Kurt as he settled back into the empty chair at Blaine’s side. Kurt bit his lip; he knew he should apologize, but this was Sebastian. The silence in the room was stifling. Finally, Burt shook his head and pushed himself up from his perch against the wall.
He nodded to Kurt. “I’m going to drop our bags off at the Andersons’.”
He inclined his head at Sebastian, who’d pulled a textbook out when he’d come back and was reading. Apologize, the look said.
Kurt pursed his lips. I don’t know.
His dad raised an eyebrow. Kurt.
Kurt’s shoulders slumped after a long moment. Fine.
Burt nodded and turned to the door. “I’ll be back soon. Call me if anything happens.”
Kurt nodded and, after one final look, Burt left. Kurt absently hoped those reporters had left-and that none had taken their place.
“Do you guys always do that silent ESP shit?” Sebastian asked once the door shut, eyes never leaving the book in his lap.
Kurt started. “What?”
Sebastian looked up, his features carefully neutral. “Whatever that was with your dad,” he clarified. “Just now.”
Kurt shrugged, covering his surprise that Sebastian had noticed. “Sometimes. Mostly when he’s telling me I’m being an idiot.”
Sebastian raised an eyebrow at that, and Kurt rubbed a hand over his face. His pride was already aching, and he hadn’t even spoken yet. “I’m sorry,” he finally managed. “I was rude. I shouldn’t have assumed anything about you and Blaine.”
Sebastian was silent for a moment, but he finally leaned forward in his chair. “You’re right, you shouldn’t have assumed.” He let out a humorless laugh. “I know what you think of me, Kurt. And honestly? I don’t care. I don’t particularly like you either.”
Kurt opened his mouth to retort, but Sebastian cut him off, picking up steam as he spoke.
“I saw Blaine in the wake of your breakup, you know? He was a mess. He was like a shadow of himself. The day he came back to Dalton…” Sebastian trailed off, shaking his head. “That day, I think he was at his lowest, blaming himself for your entire relationship going bad. And no one else seemed to care.”
Kurt’s stomach twisted. Those months ago, part of him had maliciously hoped that every unreturned phone call or text would cause Blaine the pain it was causing him to ignore them. He’d destroyed their relationship, and Kurt had wanted him to feel what he’d screwed up.
But, months removed from the breakup, Kurt had realized that they’d been having problems long before Blaine had cheated. That had been something he’d wanted to talk about this week, now that he’d finally understood… And the thought that Sebastian had been there to offer comfort? That left a sour taste in Kurt’s mouth.
“But you know what?” Sebastian continued, pulling Kurt from his reverie. “I saw when he started building himself back up, too. I was there when he finally started opening up to people again and healing. I was there when he finally started moving on. I’ve seen him at his best and his worst and I haven’t gone anywhere, unlike some people. So whatever you think about me, just know that my caring about him is not conditional.”
Kurt reeled back as though he’d been slapped. “I…”
Sebastian shook his head. “Save it, Kurt. We both know that at the end of the week you’re going back to New York to your glamorous life. But Blaine’s still going to be here. And you know who is going to be there for him? Me. And his friends at McKinley.” Kurt thought back to the picture of Sam and Blaine on Blaine’s nightstand and felt his insides twist further. “So don’t go getting all high and mighty.”
Kurt’s mind went blank as Sebastian eyed him a moment longer before turning back to his book. He’s been wanting to say that for a while, he realized. And his words had hit their mark. But the worst part was that he was right-Kurt had a life waiting for him back in New York. He’d thought Sebastian would be the one to leave Blaine, but in reality it would be Kurt leaving.
Kurt bit his lip and looked back at Blaine. God, he loved that boy so much. When he’d booked his flight to Lima, Kurt had been determined to tell Blaine that he’d finally had his moment (Oh, there you are. I’ve been looking for you forever) and that he knew Blaine and only Blaine was what he wanted. He was ready to make things work. But at the end of the week, no matter where they would’ve stood, Kurt would still be getting on a plane back to New York-to NYADA and Vogue, to his apartment in Bushwick and Rachel, and to six hundred miles between him and Blaine.
Kurt dropped his face into his hands. Was he just being selfish again? Was he setting himself and Blaine up for more heartache? And now that Blaine needed the people who loved him more than ever, Kurt’s presence had a time limit.
Sebastian had made it clear just from his presence during the school day that he was willing to make Blaine a priority. He really cares for Blaine, Kurt thought, something cold settling in his gut. Could Kurt do the same thing? Could Kurt put Blaine over everything he’d worked so hard to achieve in New York?
Wasn’t that what love was, making sacrifices for the person you cared for?
Hadn’t Blaine done that for him over and over?
Something clicked inside Kurt in that moment, and it was as though the world had shifted into sharper focus when he looked up again. He knew with absolute certainty what he had to do-no, what he was willing to do for the boy he loved.
Determined, he turned back to Blaine, ready to make a silent promise. He was about to take the other boy’s hand when he froze in shock.
Familiar hazel eyes were watching him.
Kurt gasped. “Blaine?”
tbc...
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