[Criminal Minds fanfiction] Out of line
Title: Out of line
Rating: PG
Genre: Missing Scene
Characters: Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, Dave Rossi, Emily Prentiss
Spoilers: 3x16 Elephant's Memory
Warnings: none if you know the episode
Summary: He knew what it was like. And he couldn't help but at least try to save Owen. Because they were more alike than people might have thought.
Disclaimer: All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
“Reid, what are you doing?”
Spencer heard Hotch approaching him, but continued to open the straps of his bullet-prove vest and pulled it over his head.
“He’s gonna force us to kill him,” he answered without looking up. “Don’t make me be a part of that. You don’t need me.” He hoped that this attempt at an explanation was enough for Hotch to let him go.
He looked up and saw an expression on his superior’s face that screamed ‘WHAT?’
Aaron didn’t know what to make of that answer, but this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it.
Reid handed over his vest to the other agent who took it while ordering, “Meet me at the station.” The tone of his voice made it pretty clear that there was more to come.
But Spencer didn’t want to think about that just yet. He jogged over to one of the sheriff’s cars to catch a ride to the police station. Getting into the back he thought about what he had just done: He had knowingly withheld information.
When the young agent had read the note Owen had left over Hotch’s shoulder he had instantly suspected that the kid meant Jordan, not his mother, to whom he wanted to give back the necklace because she was his reason to live now.
But he hadn’t said a word.
Reid hadn’t completely lied when he had told Hotch he didn’t wanna play a part in killing Owen. He was already haunted by Ryan Phillip’s face, so he didn’t need an addition to that.
And he just didn’t wanna see a person die again, especially someone he shared quite a few similarities with.
Because Reid knew what it was like.
The humiliation of every attack. The fear for the next one that was sure to come. The seeking out of places that were relatively safe. The anger that no one helped. The helplessness to stop it yourself. The shame for being so weak to let it happen again and again. The denial of seeing yourself as a victim. The wish to forget it ever happened.
But mostly the ever-present question ‘Why me?’
And the realization that it’s gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. That it would make you being careful when you meet other people for the first time, when all the while you just wanted to believe that it wasn’t affecting you and your ability to trust people anymore, that you left it behind.
He knew what it was like to be different, to be treated like you’re worthless, to start felling that you indeed are just that.
So Reid had his mind set on saving Owen.
While the young man was on his way back to the police station, his colleagues headed for the cemetery in their SUV. Hotch was driving with Morgan sitting next to him and Rossi in the back.
The black agent looked over at his superior and tried to read his face that was stoic as ever. He hadn’t heard what Hotch and Reid had talked about at the ranch, but since the young profiler wasn’t with them now, he was pretty sure his friend had decided to sit this one out. So he refrained from asking and planned on talking to Spencer when the case was over.
In the back Rossi had noticed that glance. He had watched the exchange between his two team members at the farm, too. And he didn’t really know what to make of it. But he knew if there was only a tiny doubt, it was better to pull the plug before something bad happened as a result of it. And he had seen something in Reid’s eyes at the briefing back in Quantico, though he couldn’t tell what it had been.
Behind the wheel Hotch was glad that their youngest one had been responsible enough to stay out of it when his mind wasn’t fully on the task at hand, though he didn’t appreciate the timing. Maybe it was better that way, because Spencer had been too personally involved in the case to be objective anymore.
They arrived at the cemetery, got out of the car and drew their weapons. Entering the graveyard they searched for signs that Owen was there, but didn’t find any.
Rossi went back to the gravestone of Owen’s mother, looking at it as if it held the clues they needed. Morgan walked over to him while Hotch was standing a few feet away, watching the entrance.
Aaron had been sure that Owen would show up there. Now that they knew this wasn’t the case, they didn’t have any indication where the kid was. But he had a strong feeling that they had missed an important detail.
“Something’s wrong,” he stated and turned around to face his fellow agents.
While Hotch was walking over to them, Rossi replied, “He had a head start. If he was coming here, he’d be here already.”
Morgan now looked at the gravestone, too. “He said he wanted to say goodbye, give her back the necklace.” Looking up he continued, “He wasn’t talking about his mother.”
Before either of them could say anything else, Hotch’s cell phone rang. He opened it while Rossi concluded, “Jordan.”
Hotch answered his phone, “Yeah” and listened, watched by Dave, as JJ told him that Reid was sure Owen would come to the station.
“Okay, we’re on our way.” Closing the phone he turned to leave and informed the other agents in a slightly angry tone, “Reid knew.”
It made all sense to him now. Reid had figured it out because he knew how Owen’s mind was working better than anyone else on the team. But it wasn’t clear to him what the young agent was planning to do.
Almost simultaneously it also registered in the minds of his team members that this had been the reason for Reid not to accompany them to the cemetery.
The three agents ran to the SUV, got in and hurried back to the station, hoping that Owen wouldn’t show up there until they arrived.
But they knew that this wouldn’t be the case.
When Reid arrived at the station, he got out of the car and headed for the entrance at a hurried pace. Once inside he went straight to the evidence board, where Prentiss, who had seen his arrival, joined him.
“They think he’s going to his mother’s grave,” he informed her and took down the printout photo of Owen’s mother.
Then he quickly walked in the next room where he had spotted Jordan, hearing Emily asking, “Isn’t he?” before she followed him.
The young agent ignored her question and addressed the kid’s girlfriend instead. “He was gone when we got to the ranch. I wanna save his life, but I need to ask you a question.” He showed her the photo and continued, “This necklace, he gave it to you?”
Jordan looked at it and touched around her neck before answering, “I left it at the ranch.”
Now Reid had the confirmation: Their UnSub was on his way to the police station, because the kid knew where Jordan had fled to, of that Spencer was certain.
Walking past Emily, who stood next to the door, he said, “He’s coming here,” and heard her instructing JJ to call Hotch before he left the station.
Outside he looked around for any sign that Owen had already arrived. After a moment Prentiss joined him.
“What makes you think he’ll come here?”
Without looking at her Reid answered, “It’s what I would do.”
Then he spotted the kid coming around a corner, carrying a rifle. He pulled his gun out of its holster and held it out to his team member while saying, “Prentiss, cover me,” barely waiting for her to take it, before he started walking toward their UnSub.
Without exactly knowing how he planned to stop Owen, but hoping that the profile they had developed and his own memories were all he needed, Spencer approached him.
He heard the other agent protesting behind him, “Wha-what? Reid!”
Still walking he turned briefly around to her and ordered forcefully, “Do not shoot!” He ignored Emily calling his name again and focused on the task at hand.
“Owen, I don’t have a gun.” He raised his hands in a non-threatening manner and continued, “My name is Spencer. I’m with the FBI. And I’m here to help you.”
Owen held the gun pointing to the ground and shouted, “Yeah, I need you to stay back!”
Just at that moment the agent heard a car arriving with squealing tires. He turned around for a moment to assure himself that it was the SUV with Hotch, Morgan and Rossi, not the sheriff.
It was now or never.
Reid knew that his teammates wouldn’t do anything that endangered him even more than he already was. So all he had to do was to try and talk the kid down.
More urgent now Spencer addressed the UnSub once more while still stepping closer. “I know the only reason you joined the team was for your father.”
He heard the SUV’s door opening and knew that now there were four guns pointed in his direction. But he pushed that thought aside.
“I know that he blamed you for what happened.”
“Stay back! Right were you are!” Owen shouted though he still had not raised his gun.
By now Reid was relatively certain that the kid wouldn’t shoot him, because if he wanted to he had already done it. Besides the young agent knew the UnSub wasn’t aware that it was Spencer’s idea to get Jordan away from him.
Still he felt the adrenalin rushing through his body, increasing his blood pressure and making it harder to breathe.
“I also know the only reason you killed Rod Norris and Kyle Borden was to protect Jordan. I know the harder you tried the worse it got, and it felt like everybody just stood there watching you suffer and not a single person even tried to help.”
“They didn’t. They didn’t;” Owen confirmed, his voice much lower now.
Spencer took a brief glance backwards again, and estimating his teammates’ line of fire, he stepped a few feet to the left, thereby effectively blocking their shots. By now he was almost panting.
“I know you wanna escape. And forget. Believe me when I say, I know - I know exactly how that feels.”
Owen looked down briefly, obviously trying to decide what to make of Reid’s words.
Taking that as a positive sign, the agent spoke up again. “You know what? You don’t have to die.”
The kid shook his head. “No. No, I’m already dead.”
Spencer looked back again, not knowing how much longer they would let him try to end this without killing the UnSub.
It was time to play the last card.
“No. No, you’re not dead. You die, you’re gonna leave Jordan, just like your mother left you. I know you don’t want that, do you?”
The kid shook his head, then replied, “Okay. You bring her to me, all right? You bring her outside.”
“I can’t bring her outside, Owen, but if you put the gun down, I swear to God, I’ll take you to her. I promise nobody will hurt you. You’ll say goodbye to her and you’ll give her the necklace, all right? So what do you say? Just put the gun down. Let’s go inside.”
Owen looked around the profiler at the rest of the team, then took a few steps toward Reid and put the rifle on the ground in front of the agent who was floating with relief. Then the UnSub pulled the necklace out of his pocket and handed it to Spencer who closed the remaining distance quickly.
The young profiler heard Morgan shouting, “Don’t move!” and sirens announced the arrival of police cars, which had to be the sheriff returning from the Savage’s house. Then the black agent, who had almost reached them, ordered again, ”Don’t move!”
Reid sensed Hotch approaching behind him to pick up the rifle and he saw Rossi stopping the cars a few yards away.
“You good, Reid?” Derek asked his friend, who simply nodded as an answer.
Taking a quick look around at his superior, whose stoic face didn’t reveal his current emotions, Spencer waited for Morgan to cuff Owen and to take the knife from its holster on the kid’s pants.
Then he briefly felt Hotch’s hand on his back and glanced around again for a moment before taking Owen by the upper arm while Morgan took the kid’s cuffed wrists and together they walked into the police station. Both Rossi, whom they passed, and Hotch kept the local officers away from them.
Once inside they stopped and saw Jordan standing across the room with Emily and JJ by her side. Reid looked at Morgan for a moment; who then let go of Owen and stepped back before the young agent led the kid to her, followed by Derek.
With tears in her eyes, the blonde girl’s gaze focused on her boyfriend and she held out her hand in which Reid placed the necklace.
The young agent looked at Owen, who nodded and glanced back before the profiler led him down the hallway, while Morgan stayed back.
Spencer handed the UnSub over to an officer, and feeling the adrenalin slowly leaving his body, he sat down on a vacant chair near the wall, taking his head in his hands and tried to calm himself.
A storm of thoughts assaulted the young man’s mind, a lot of which started with ‘What if’, but he tried to ignore them. He was relieved that his plan had worked and he had been able to save Owen without getting killed.
And he realized something else: He was still able to talk an UnSub down, something he had doubted that he had the ability to any longer since the case in Texas.
Approaching footsteps made him look up and he saw Morgan walking straight towards him. Try as he may he couldn’t read the look on his colleague’s face.
So he waited for the other agent to start talking. Morgan took his time though and first sat down next to Reid while his eyes were fixed on the young man.
After what seemed like an eternity to Spencer, Derek finally asked,” What did you think you were doing out there?”
Reid looked down, not answering. So Morgan continued,” You deliberately stepped in our line of fire. What if Owen wouldn’t have given up?”
There it was again, one of the ‘what if’s he was trying to forget.
“What were you thinking?“ Morgan repeated his question.
Now Spencer did look up at his friend. “It was the only way that no one else would get hurt or killed.”
“He could have killed you,” the black agent reminded him.
“That’s just the point. He wouldn’t have shot me, because I haven’t done anything to hurt him or Jordan,” Reid replied. “At least that he knew of,” he added in a low voice, looking down again to avoid eye contact with Morgan.
Derek simply put a hand on Spencer’s arm and waited until the other agent’s gaze was back on his face.
“We had to warn Jordan. It was the only way to stop the killings.”
“I know,” Reid sighed. “Regardless, he could have hurt a lot of people in here if I hadn’t stopped him out there.”
“Yeah, speaking of that, how did you know he would come here instead of his mother’s grave? And more importantly, why didn’t you tell us about it?”
That was a question even Reid didn’t really have an answer to.
Had he done it because Owen was so similar to him? Because they had suffered the same? Because of the guilt he still carried over Ryan Phillip’s death?
When Spencer’s only answer was the lowering of his head, Morgan said sympathetically, “You let your emotions get in the way, didn’t you?”
Reid nodded slowly.
Derek had suspected that the young profiler had been bullied in school, but it had almost torn him apart when the young agent had told him that he had been tied naked to a goalpost. That the genius’ mother hadn’t even realized that something had happened was even worse. So he could understand that his friend wanted to help someone in a similar situation. And he knew the outcome of the case in Texas hadn’t really helped either.
After a moment of comforting silence Reid looked the other agent in the eye and explained, “Owen has a lot of potential, only no one ever noticed it. He got constantly blamed and harassed by the people around him. I’m not defending his actions, Morgan, but he’s not the only one to blame for what he did.”
The other agent nodded and stood up. “I know. Come on, kid, let’s go.”
Spencer took one look in the direction where Owen had disappeared to before he got up too, wondering if he - given different circumstances - could have ended up like the kid had.
“Hotch is pissed, right?” he half asked, half stated.
Morgan had to smile at Reid’s unusual choice of words. “You bet he is.”
The young agent only nodded and followed his colleague down the hallway to the front of the station.
While Morgan headed outside, Reid looked around the office. He couldn’t see Hotch or Rossi anywhere or the sheriff either, so he assumed that they were all still outside, which was fine by him. He would to be confronted for his actions soon enough.
In the room to his right he noticed that Emily was still keeping Jordan company, whereas JJ wasn’t with them anymore, so she presumably took care of the press.
Stepping closer the young agent asked, “Emily, can I talk to you for a minute?”
The dark-haired agent looked at him and got up. “Sure.”
Out of Jordan’s earshot Reid said, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Prentiss asked, confused.
“I was so focused on stopping Owen that I ignored your concern.”
“No, Reid, there wasn’t time to talk. We were barely outside when the kid appeared.”
“Still, there should have been a way,” Spencer tried again.
“I didn’t approve what you were doing but I trusted that you would bring it to a good end. As you did.” Knowing what her younger colleague needed to hear, she added, “But I accept your apology.”
Relieved, Reid gave her a smile. “Thanks, Emily.”
Smiling back, Prentiss went over to Jordan again.
At that moment the rest of the team entered the police station.
Spencer was pretty sure Hotch wouldn’t confront him in front of all that people and the incident that happened earlier that day while presenting the profile proved it. Though the glance he got from the older profiler promised a reprimand at the very least.
As for Rossi, who also was his superior as the leader of the team, Reid didn’t know if he would talk to him, too, because he hadn’t been with the team that long. On the other hand he had shown that he cared for the team.
The young agent joined his teammates to help with packing up their equipment and loading it into the cars. From the station they drove to the hotel to get their bags, which they put efficiently in the trunks of the SUVs, then they headed for the airport to board their private plane.
During the ride no one spoke, as every member was more or less lost in his or her thoughts.
Once inside the jet Prentiss took the seat at the window and started to read with Rossi next to her. He closed his eyes, but wasn’t sleeping. Across the table sat JJ who, on the contrary, was trying to sleep with the seat next to her occupied by Morgan, his eyes also closed as he was listening to music.
At the back of the plane Spencer took a seat, waiting for the inevitable. He knew there was no excuse for what he did.
He wasn’t concerned about withholding information anymore, because he had done something far more stupid and dangerous. He had opposed an armed killer with no weapon, and had deliberately stepped in his fellow agents’ line of fire.
Hotch walked down the aisle and sat down across from Reid. Folding his hands on the table between them he leaned forward.
The young profiler looked up at his superior, whose slightly angry face with knitted eyebrows and piercing glance conveyed the earnestness of the situation. However, when the senior agent started to talk, his voice was low and even, but stern nonetheless.
“You knowingly jeopardized your life and the lives of others.”
Reid nodded his head ever so slightly and lowered his gaze.
“I should fire you,” Hotch continued.
Shocked by what he just heard, the genius’ eyes came back up, but he remained silent.
“You’re the smartest kid in the room, but you’re not the only one in that room,” Aaron said, reminding the other man of the conversation they had back at Owen’s high school. “You pull something like that again and you will be. Am I clear?”
Spencer swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir. It won’t happen again,” he answered. Then he realized he had said the same thing to Gideon almost a year ago in that jazz club in New Orleans after they had caught the Jack-the-Ripper copycat.
And he meant it. Back then and now.
The young agent looked down, then up again, straight in his superior’s eyes. “Thank you.”
Hotch’s features softened a bit, now that he knew that the other profiler had gotten the message.
His anger was partially due to the realization that Reid could have been killed right in front of his eyes and he wouldn’t have been able to do something to prevent that. The last time he had felt that helpless had been when Tobias Hankel had kidnapped their genius in Georgia all those month ago.
Since Gideon had left, Aaron had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the youngest member of his team.
“What were you thinking?” he asked, his voice also softer now.
Now Reid had been asked this question for the second time that day, though Morgan had already known the answer to it more or less
Spencer hadn’t exactly planned to tell someone about what his classmates had done to him, but he wanted to repay his friend’s faith when Derek had told him about the bullying that he suffered in school. Regardless, the young agent wasn’t ready to tell Hotch yet. So he kept to the one reason he could tell.
Looking down, he confessed, “I was thinking that that would have been the… second time a kid died in front of me.”
Concerned by the answer he got, the senior agent stated, “You’re keeping score. Just like Owen.”
Ignoring that, Reid referred to the Johnny Cash song that the UnSub used in his video by saying, "It was my turn to save one,” and chuckled.
“It doesn’t work like that,“ Hotch reminded him.
With a smile that briefly lit his brown eyes, Spencer replied, “It should,” before he grew serious again, his gaze fixed on the table between them.
After a moment of silence Aaron said, “I know it’s painful when the person you identify with is the bad guy.”
The young profiler asked thoughtfully, “What’s that make me?” and looked his superior in the eye.
“Good at the job.”
Hotch knew that this wasn’t really helpful, but it was the only answer he had to give. He saw a lot of emotions crossing Spencer’s face as he nodded almost imperceptibly.
Now he had only one thing left to say.
The older agent thought back to the case briefing. Reid had come in late and had said something about a movie he had been in. But Aaron was sure that everyone in the room had known it had been a lie. He hadn’t said anything about it then, because he had had a suspicion where Spencer had really been. As long as it seemed to help their genius and didn’t interfere with his work too much, Hotch didn’t mind the agent being a bit late sometimes. It certainly beat losing him to drugs a second time, maybe this time for good.
After briefly thinking about how to phrase it, he said while getting up, “I know it’s none of my business, but when we land I think you should go and, uh, catch the rest of the movie.”
He walked down the aisle and sat down on the seat that was facing the ones the other agents occupied.
Unseen by any of them Spencer pulled out the medallion from his pants’ pocket and looked at it, flipping it back and forth with his fingers. When Jim had given it to him, he hadn’t known why.
Now he did.
That piece of metal was something to hold on to in rough times. A reminder that he wasn’t the only one with those problems and at the same time a goal to achieve in the future.
And it had indeed helped.
Reid’s gaze shifted from the medallion in his hand to the dark night outside the window as he thought about what Hotch had said and decided to do just as his superior had suggested as soon as they were back at Quantico.
He came rather late to the meeting and didn’t feel like talking, so he just sat there listening to others telling their stories and problems. And he found comfort in the fact that there were other people like him.
After it had ended, the young agent drove to the office to do his paperwork on the case. No one asked where he had been, they all seemed to either know or ignore it.
Due to him coming in late and the fact that he couldn’t really concentrate on writing his report, because his mind kept wandering off, he still sat at his desk while Morgan and Prentiss had already gone home. Both had offered for him to call them if he wanted to talk.
But Spencer wasn’t the only one of the team who was still at the office.
Hotch watched the lone figure through the half-closed blinds at his office’s window that faced the bullpen area.
He was tempted to send the young man home. The genius looked exhausted and the report wasn’t that important that it couldn’t wait until the next day to be finished. Or rather after a few hours of sleep on this day, he corrected himself after a glance at his watch.
Just as he was about to leave his office he saw Rossi approaching Reid. Aaron was glad that the senior agent seemed to care for the team, too. So he remained standing at the window and watched the conversation that was about to start.
Spencer heard the other man approaching and looked up, surprised to discover that it was Rossi, not Hotch as he had suspected.
“You’re still here, Reid?” the older agent asked gently when he had reached the young man’s desk.
“I’m writing my report, but I’m almost done,” the genius answered.
“I came to apologize,” Rossi simply said.
“For what?” Reid asked confused.
“I practically attacked you at the case briefing. I didn’t mean to invade in your privacy. I just recognize a lie when I hear one. I’m sorry,” Rossi answered sincerely.
After a moment of silence Reid offered a small smile. “Apology accepted.”
Nodding once Rossi sat down on the edge of the desk.
He had been on the team for several months now, but the young agent was still a mystery to him sometimes. But he was the kid’s superior, and since he knew that Hotch had already reprimanded the other profiler, he tried a different approach to make sure that Reid understood what he had done. But he wasn’t going to chide him for withholding information. The senior agent had done that himself more that once since re-joining the BAU, and he could understand why Reid had done it. In this job the feelings sometimes took over control.
Dave was aware that he didn’t know much about the team’s genius beyond what he had read in the personnel file, so he was careful when he said, “You have to tell me something. How did you know that Owen would show up at the police station instead of his mother’s grave?”
Reid realized immediately that this wasn’t going to be an official conversation and relaxed a bit. He wasn’t sure where Rossi was going with his question, but anything was better than getting another reprimand.
“I wasn’t completely sure that he would,“ he replied honestly, “but since Jordan was there and Owen knew where she would most likely be, I figured he would show up there.”
The older agent tilted his head. “Okay, but how did you know he meant Jordan in his letter, not his mother?”
“Jordan was Owen’s reason to live. After we took that away from him, he planned to kill himself, but before that he wanted to do what he couldn’t when his mother died. He wanted to say goodbye,” Reid explained.
“And how did you get him to give up without shooting you?”
A smile tugged at the younger man’s lips. “‘Whoever is unjust, let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still.’”
“That’s from the song Owen used in the video. But what does this have to do with him not shooting you?” Rossi asked, his face showing confusion as he couldn’t follow the other man’s reasoning.
“He was an injustice collector,” Spencer replied.
“You still put yourself in danger facing him unarmed,” Rossi pointed out in a mildly scolding tone.
“I know,” the young agent said softly. After a moment of silence he added, “Gideon once told me that the deadliest weapon we have is a thorough and accurate profile. I wanted to give Owen the chance to choose living.”
“So you blocked our shots,” the other agent stated. Reid nodded.
Dave was now certain that the other agent wouldn’t do something like that again, so he got up and, putting his hand on the young man’s shoulder, he said with a hint of admiration, “Owen was lucky that you were there. Good night, Reid.” With that he left.
“Good night, sir,” the genius replied and turned his attention back to his report.
Seeing that Rossi had left, Hotch went over to his desk to grab his bag, and then left his office.
“Reid, stop working and go home. Get some sleep,” he said and stood at the door waiting for the other man.
Though he wanted to argue, the young profiler felt exhausted, so he shut down his computer and took his stuff.
Together the two agents got into the elevator, where Hotch watched the other man out of the corner of his eyes.
He had been worried about Spencer since they were at Owen’s high school.
The normally quiet Reid had practically attacked the dean after hearing that nothing had been done by the school’s administration after the video of Owen had been put on the Internet. The sarcasm he had displayed had surprised Aaron quite a bit.
That had been the first time that he had to keep the other profiler in line on that day by warningly saying his name.
By the time they had been ready to present the profile he had thought that Spencer had calmed down, but he had been wrong. So he had to stop him again.
Hotch was pretty certain that Reid had been bullied in school. The other man had practically told him that after the long-distance-serial-killer case two years ago when he had said that Aaron would kick like a nine-year-old girl.
It was understandable that the young man had been agitated, but it wasn’t like him to act so out of line.
So Hotch had done the only thing he could do.
He had put Reid on the sideline for a while, when he had sent him to help Morgan go through Owen’s stuff, and at the same time he had tried to channeling Spencer’s anger into the work that needed to be done.
And it had worked.
“You alright?” Hotch asked, now openly looking at the other agent.
Spencer thought about that for a moment. He had faced an armed man in order to save him and had succeeded.
So he smiled and answered, “I will be.”
Hotch nodded, satisfied with the answer he got.
Then the elevator doors opened and the agents stepped out.
Before they parted to walk over to where they had parked their cars they wished each other a good night.
As he was walking towards his classic, Reid fished for the keys in his pants’ pocket and his fingers brushed against the medallion that also was in there.
He unlocked the car, opened the door, and got in. Starting the engine, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, heading home to get some rest.
Even though this case had brought up some bad memories, Reid had regained some confidence in himself again.
That was all that mattered to him right now.
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” American poet Edward Estlin Cummings
Rating: PG
Genre: Missing Scene
Characters: Spencer Reid, Aaron Hotchner, Derek Morgan, Dave Rossi, Emily Prentiss
Spoilers: 3x16 Elephant's Memory
Warnings: none if you know the episode
Summary: He knew what it was like. And he couldn't help but at least try to save Owen. Because they were more alike than people might have thought.
Disclaimer: All characters are property of CBS, Jeff Davis, Edward Allen Bernero and sadly not mine. I just take them along for the ride. Special thanks to my dear friend Sarah for all her help and encouragement and being a great beta. Thanks to everyone who read and/or reviewed one of my others stories.
“Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts.” Sir Winston Leonard Spenser Churchill
“Reid, what are you doing?”
Spencer heard Hotch approaching him, but continued to open the straps of his bullet-prove vest and pulled it over his head.
“He’s gonna force us to kill him,” he answered without looking up. “Don’t make me be a part of that. You don’t need me.” He hoped that this attempt at an explanation was enough for Hotch to let him go.
He looked up and saw an expression on his superior’s face that screamed ‘WHAT?’
Aaron didn’t know what to make of that answer, but this was neither the time nor the place to discuss it.
Reid handed over his vest to the other agent who took it while ordering, “Meet me at the station.” The tone of his voice made it pretty clear that there was more to come.
But Spencer didn’t want to think about that just yet. He jogged over to one of the sheriff’s cars to catch a ride to the police station. Getting into the back he thought about what he had just done: He had knowingly withheld information.
When the young agent had read the note Owen had left over Hotch’s shoulder he had instantly suspected that the kid meant Jordan, not his mother, to whom he wanted to give back the necklace because she was his reason to live now.
But he hadn’t said a word.
Reid hadn’t completely lied when he had told Hotch he didn’t wanna play a part in killing Owen. He was already haunted by Ryan Phillip’s face, so he didn’t need an addition to that.
And he just didn’t wanna see a person die again, especially someone he shared quite a few similarities with.
Because Reid knew what it was like.
The humiliation of every attack. The fear for the next one that was sure to come. The seeking out of places that were relatively safe. The anger that no one helped. The helplessness to stop it yourself. The shame for being so weak to let it happen again and again. The denial of seeing yourself as a victim. The wish to forget it ever happened.
But mostly the ever-present question ‘Why me?’
And the realization that it’s gonna haunt you for the rest of your life. That it would make you being careful when you meet other people for the first time, when all the while you just wanted to believe that it wasn’t affecting you and your ability to trust people anymore, that you left it behind.
He knew what it was like to be different, to be treated like you’re worthless, to start felling that you indeed are just that.
So Reid had his mind set on saving Owen.
While the young man was on his way back to the police station, his colleagues headed for the cemetery in their SUV. Hotch was driving with Morgan sitting next to him and Rossi in the back.
The black agent looked over at his superior and tried to read his face that was stoic as ever. He hadn’t heard what Hotch and Reid had talked about at the ranch, but since the young profiler wasn’t with them now, he was pretty sure his friend had decided to sit this one out. So he refrained from asking and planned on talking to Spencer when the case was over.
In the back Rossi had noticed that glance. He had watched the exchange between his two team members at the farm, too. And he didn’t really know what to make of it. But he knew if there was only a tiny doubt, it was better to pull the plug before something bad happened as a result of it. And he had seen something in Reid’s eyes at the briefing back in Quantico, though he couldn’t tell what it had been.
Behind the wheel Hotch was glad that their youngest one had been responsible enough to stay out of it when his mind wasn’t fully on the task at hand, though he didn’t appreciate the timing. Maybe it was better that way, because Spencer had been too personally involved in the case to be objective anymore.
They arrived at the cemetery, got out of the car and drew their weapons. Entering the graveyard they searched for signs that Owen was there, but didn’t find any.
Rossi went back to the gravestone of Owen’s mother, looking at it as if it held the clues they needed. Morgan walked over to him while Hotch was standing a few feet away, watching the entrance.
Aaron had been sure that Owen would show up there. Now that they knew this wasn’t the case, they didn’t have any indication where the kid was. But he had a strong feeling that they had missed an important detail.
“Something’s wrong,” he stated and turned around to face his fellow agents.
While Hotch was walking over to them, Rossi replied, “He had a head start. If he was coming here, he’d be here already.”
Morgan now looked at the gravestone, too. “He said he wanted to say goodbye, give her back the necklace.” Looking up he continued, “He wasn’t talking about his mother.”
Before either of them could say anything else, Hotch’s cell phone rang. He opened it while Rossi concluded, “Jordan.”
Hotch answered his phone, “Yeah” and listened, watched by Dave, as JJ told him that Reid was sure Owen would come to the station.
“Okay, we’re on our way.” Closing the phone he turned to leave and informed the other agents in a slightly angry tone, “Reid knew.”
It made all sense to him now. Reid had figured it out because he knew how Owen’s mind was working better than anyone else on the team. But it wasn’t clear to him what the young agent was planning to do.
Almost simultaneously it also registered in the minds of his team members that this had been the reason for Reid not to accompany them to the cemetery.
The three agents ran to the SUV, got in and hurried back to the station, hoping that Owen wouldn’t show up there until they arrived.
But they knew that this wouldn’t be the case.
When Reid arrived at the station, he got out of the car and headed for the entrance at a hurried pace. Once inside he went straight to the evidence board, where Prentiss, who had seen his arrival, joined him.
“They think he’s going to his mother’s grave,” he informed her and took down the printout photo of Owen’s mother.
Then he quickly walked in the next room where he had spotted Jordan, hearing Emily asking, “Isn’t he?” before she followed him.
The young agent ignored her question and addressed the kid’s girlfriend instead. “He was gone when we got to the ranch. I wanna save his life, but I need to ask you a question.” He showed her the photo and continued, “This necklace, he gave it to you?”
Jordan looked at it and touched around her neck before answering, “I left it at the ranch.”
Now Reid had the confirmation: Their UnSub was on his way to the police station, because the kid knew where Jordan had fled to, of that Spencer was certain.
Walking past Emily, who stood next to the door, he said, “He’s coming here,” and heard her instructing JJ to call Hotch before he left the station.
Outside he looked around for any sign that Owen had already arrived. After a moment Prentiss joined him.
“What makes you think he’ll come here?”
Without looking at her Reid answered, “It’s what I would do.”
Then he spotted the kid coming around a corner, carrying a rifle. He pulled his gun out of its holster and held it out to his team member while saying, “Prentiss, cover me,” barely waiting for her to take it, before he started walking toward their UnSub.
Without exactly knowing how he planned to stop Owen, but hoping that the profile they had developed and his own memories were all he needed, Spencer approached him.
He heard the other agent protesting behind him, “Wha-what? Reid!”
Still walking he turned briefly around to her and ordered forcefully, “Do not shoot!” He ignored Emily calling his name again and focused on the task at hand.
“Owen, I don’t have a gun.” He raised his hands in a non-threatening manner and continued, “My name is Spencer. I’m with the FBI. And I’m here to help you.”
Owen held the gun pointing to the ground and shouted, “Yeah, I need you to stay back!”
Just at that moment the agent heard a car arriving with squealing tires. He turned around for a moment to assure himself that it was the SUV with Hotch, Morgan and Rossi, not the sheriff.
It was now or never.
Reid knew that his teammates wouldn’t do anything that endangered him even more than he already was. So all he had to do was to try and talk the kid down.
More urgent now Spencer addressed the UnSub once more while still stepping closer. “I know the only reason you joined the team was for your father.”
He heard the SUV’s door opening and knew that now there were four guns pointed in his direction. But he pushed that thought aside.
“I know that he blamed you for what happened.”
“Stay back! Right were you are!” Owen shouted though he still had not raised his gun.
By now Reid was relatively certain that the kid wouldn’t shoot him, because if he wanted to he had already done it. Besides the young agent knew the UnSub wasn’t aware that it was Spencer’s idea to get Jordan away from him.
Still he felt the adrenalin rushing through his body, increasing his blood pressure and making it harder to breathe.
“I also know the only reason you killed Rod Norris and Kyle Borden was to protect Jordan. I know the harder you tried the worse it got, and it felt like everybody just stood there watching you suffer and not a single person even tried to help.”
“They didn’t. They didn’t;” Owen confirmed, his voice much lower now.
Spencer took a brief glance backwards again, and estimating his teammates’ line of fire, he stepped a few feet to the left, thereby effectively blocking their shots. By now he was almost panting.
“I know you wanna escape. And forget. Believe me when I say, I know - I know exactly how that feels.”
Owen looked down briefly, obviously trying to decide what to make of Reid’s words.
Taking that as a positive sign, the agent spoke up again. “You know what? You don’t have to die.”
The kid shook his head. “No. No, I’m already dead.”
Spencer looked back again, not knowing how much longer they would let him try to end this without killing the UnSub.
It was time to play the last card.
“No. No, you’re not dead. You die, you’re gonna leave Jordan, just like your mother left you. I know you don’t want that, do you?”
The kid shook his head, then replied, “Okay. You bring her to me, all right? You bring her outside.”
“I can’t bring her outside, Owen, but if you put the gun down, I swear to God, I’ll take you to her. I promise nobody will hurt you. You’ll say goodbye to her and you’ll give her the necklace, all right? So what do you say? Just put the gun down. Let’s go inside.”
Owen looked around the profiler at the rest of the team, then took a few steps toward Reid and put the rifle on the ground in front of the agent who was floating with relief. Then the UnSub pulled the necklace out of his pocket and handed it to Spencer who closed the remaining distance quickly.
The young profiler heard Morgan shouting, “Don’t move!” and sirens announced the arrival of police cars, which had to be the sheriff returning from the Savage’s house. Then the black agent, who had almost reached them, ordered again, ”Don’t move!”
Reid sensed Hotch approaching behind him to pick up the rifle and he saw Rossi stopping the cars a few yards away.
“You good, Reid?” Derek asked his friend, who simply nodded as an answer.
Taking a quick look around at his superior, whose stoic face didn’t reveal his current emotions, Spencer waited for Morgan to cuff Owen and to take the knife from its holster on the kid’s pants.
Then he briefly felt Hotch’s hand on his back and glanced around again for a moment before taking Owen by the upper arm while Morgan took the kid’s cuffed wrists and together they walked into the police station. Both Rossi, whom they passed, and Hotch kept the local officers away from them.
Once inside they stopped and saw Jordan standing across the room with Emily and JJ by her side. Reid looked at Morgan for a moment; who then let go of Owen and stepped back before the young agent led the kid to her, followed by Derek.
With tears in her eyes, the blonde girl’s gaze focused on her boyfriend and she held out her hand in which Reid placed the necklace.
The young agent looked at Owen, who nodded and glanced back before the profiler led him down the hallway, while Morgan stayed back.
Spencer handed the UnSub over to an officer, and feeling the adrenalin slowly leaving his body, he sat down on a vacant chair near the wall, taking his head in his hands and tried to calm himself.
A storm of thoughts assaulted the young man’s mind, a lot of which started with ‘What if’, but he tried to ignore them. He was relieved that his plan had worked and he had been able to save Owen without getting killed.
And he realized something else: He was still able to talk an UnSub down, something he had doubted that he had the ability to any longer since the case in Texas.
Approaching footsteps made him look up and he saw Morgan walking straight towards him. Try as he may he couldn’t read the look on his colleague’s face.
So he waited for the other agent to start talking. Morgan took his time though and first sat down next to Reid while his eyes were fixed on the young man.
After what seemed like an eternity to Spencer, Derek finally asked,” What did you think you were doing out there?”
Reid looked down, not answering. So Morgan continued,” You deliberately stepped in our line of fire. What if Owen wouldn’t have given up?”
There it was again, one of the ‘what if’s he was trying to forget.
“What were you thinking?“ Morgan repeated his question.
Now Spencer did look up at his friend. “It was the only way that no one else would get hurt or killed.”
“He could have killed you,” the black agent reminded him.
“That’s just the point. He wouldn’t have shot me, because I haven’t done anything to hurt him or Jordan,” Reid replied. “At least that he knew of,” he added in a low voice, looking down again to avoid eye contact with Morgan.
Derek simply put a hand on Spencer’s arm and waited until the other agent’s gaze was back on his face.
“We had to warn Jordan. It was the only way to stop the killings.”
“I know,” Reid sighed. “Regardless, he could have hurt a lot of people in here if I hadn’t stopped him out there.”
“Yeah, speaking of that, how did you know he would come here instead of his mother’s grave? And more importantly, why didn’t you tell us about it?”
That was a question even Reid didn’t really have an answer to.
Had he done it because Owen was so similar to him? Because they had suffered the same? Because of the guilt he still carried over Ryan Phillip’s death?
When Spencer’s only answer was the lowering of his head, Morgan said sympathetically, “You let your emotions get in the way, didn’t you?”
Reid nodded slowly.
Derek had suspected that the young profiler had been bullied in school, but it had almost torn him apart when the young agent had told him that he had been tied naked to a goalpost. That the genius’ mother hadn’t even realized that something had happened was even worse. So he could understand that his friend wanted to help someone in a similar situation. And he knew the outcome of the case in Texas hadn’t really helped either.
After a moment of comforting silence Reid looked the other agent in the eye and explained, “Owen has a lot of potential, only no one ever noticed it. He got constantly blamed and harassed by the people around him. I’m not defending his actions, Morgan, but he’s not the only one to blame for what he did.”
The other agent nodded and stood up. “I know. Come on, kid, let’s go.”
Spencer took one look in the direction where Owen had disappeared to before he got up too, wondering if he - given different circumstances - could have ended up like the kid had.
“Hotch is pissed, right?” he half asked, half stated.
Morgan had to smile at Reid’s unusual choice of words. “You bet he is.”
The young agent only nodded and followed his colleague down the hallway to the front of the station.
While Morgan headed outside, Reid looked around the office. He couldn’t see Hotch or Rossi anywhere or the sheriff either, so he assumed that they were all still outside, which was fine by him. He would to be confronted for his actions soon enough.
In the room to his right he noticed that Emily was still keeping Jordan company, whereas JJ wasn’t with them anymore, so she presumably took care of the press.
Stepping closer the young agent asked, “Emily, can I talk to you for a minute?”
The dark-haired agent looked at him and got up. “Sure.”
Out of Jordan’s earshot Reid said, “I’m sorry.”
“For what?” Prentiss asked, confused.
“I was so focused on stopping Owen that I ignored your concern.”
“No, Reid, there wasn’t time to talk. We were barely outside when the kid appeared.”
“Still, there should have been a way,” Spencer tried again.
“I didn’t approve what you were doing but I trusted that you would bring it to a good end. As you did.” Knowing what her younger colleague needed to hear, she added, “But I accept your apology.”
Relieved, Reid gave her a smile. “Thanks, Emily.”
Smiling back, Prentiss went over to Jordan again.
At that moment the rest of the team entered the police station.
Spencer was pretty sure Hotch wouldn’t confront him in front of all that people and the incident that happened earlier that day while presenting the profile proved it. Though the glance he got from the older profiler promised a reprimand at the very least.
As for Rossi, who also was his superior as the leader of the team, Reid didn’t know if he would talk to him, too, because he hadn’t been with the team that long. On the other hand he had shown that he cared for the team.
The young agent joined his teammates to help with packing up their equipment and loading it into the cars. From the station they drove to the hotel to get their bags, which they put efficiently in the trunks of the SUVs, then they headed for the airport to board their private plane.
During the ride no one spoke, as every member was more or less lost in his or her thoughts.
Once inside the jet Prentiss took the seat at the window and started to read with Rossi next to her. He closed his eyes, but wasn’t sleeping. Across the table sat JJ who, on the contrary, was trying to sleep with the seat next to her occupied by Morgan, his eyes also closed as he was listening to music.
At the back of the plane Spencer took a seat, waiting for the inevitable. He knew there was no excuse for what he did.
He wasn’t concerned about withholding information anymore, because he had done something far more stupid and dangerous. He had opposed an armed killer with no weapon, and had deliberately stepped in his fellow agents’ line of fire.
Hotch walked down the aisle and sat down across from Reid. Folding his hands on the table between them he leaned forward.
The young profiler looked up at his superior, whose slightly angry face with knitted eyebrows and piercing glance conveyed the earnestness of the situation. However, when the senior agent started to talk, his voice was low and even, but stern nonetheless.
“You knowingly jeopardized your life and the lives of others.”
Reid nodded his head ever so slightly and lowered his gaze.
“I should fire you,” Hotch continued.
Shocked by what he just heard, the genius’ eyes came back up, but he remained silent.
“You’re the smartest kid in the room, but you’re not the only one in that room,” Aaron said, reminding the other man of the conversation they had back at Owen’s high school. “You pull something like that again and you will be. Am I clear?”
Spencer swallowed and nodded. “Yes, sir. It won’t happen again,” he answered. Then he realized he had said the same thing to Gideon almost a year ago in that jazz club in New Orleans after they had caught the Jack-the-Ripper copycat.
And he meant it. Back then and now.
The young agent looked down, then up again, straight in his superior’s eyes. “Thank you.”
Hotch’s features softened a bit, now that he knew that the other profiler had gotten the message.
His anger was partially due to the realization that Reid could have been killed right in front of his eyes and he wouldn’t have been able to do something to prevent that. The last time he had felt that helpless had been when Tobias Hankel had kidnapped their genius in Georgia all those month ago.
Since Gideon had left, Aaron had taken it upon himself to keep an eye on the youngest member of his team.
“What were you thinking?” he asked, his voice also softer now.
Now Reid had been asked this question for the second time that day, though Morgan had already known the answer to it more or less
Spencer hadn’t exactly planned to tell someone about what his classmates had done to him, but he wanted to repay his friend’s faith when Derek had told him about the bullying that he suffered in school. Regardless, the young agent wasn’t ready to tell Hotch yet. So he kept to the one reason he could tell.
Looking down, he confessed, “I was thinking that that would have been the… second time a kid died in front of me.”
Concerned by the answer he got, the senior agent stated, “You’re keeping score. Just like Owen.”
Ignoring that, Reid referred to the Johnny Cash song that the UnSub used in his video by saying, "It was my turn to save one,” and chuckled.
“It doesn’t work like that,“ Hotch reminded him.
With a smile that briefly lit his brown eyes, Spencer replied, “It should,” before he grew serious again, his gaze fixed on the table between them.
After a moment of silence Aaron said, “I know it’s painful when the person you identify with is the bad guy.”
The young profiler asked thoughtfully, “What’s that make me?” and looked his superior in the eye.
“Good at the job.”
Hotch knew that this wasn’t really helpful, but it was the only answer he had to give. He saw a lot of emotions crossing Spencer’s face as he nodded almost imperceptibly.
Now he had only one thing left to say.
The older agent thought back to the case briefing. Reid had come in late and had said something about a movie he had been in. But Aaron was sure that everyone in the room had known it had been a lie. He hadn’t said anything about it then, because he had had a suspicion where Spencer had really been. As long as it seemed to help their genius and didn’t interfere with his work too much, Hotch didn’t mind the agent being a bit late sometimes. It certainly beat losing him to drugs a second time, maybe this time for good.
After briefly thinking about how to phrase it, he said while getting up, “I know it’s none of my business, but when we land I think you should go and, uh, catch the rest of the movie.”
He walked down the aisle and sat down on the seat that was facing the ones the other agents occupied.
Unseen by any of them Spencer pulled out the medallion from his pants’ pocket and looked at it, flipping it back and forth with his fingers. When Jim had given it to him, he hadn’t known why.
Now he did.
That piece of metal was something to hold on to in rough times. A reminder that he wasn’t the only one with those problems and at the same time a goal to achieve in the future.
And it had indeed helped.
Reid’s gaze shifted from the medallion in his hand to the dark night outside the window as he thought about what Hotch had said and decided to do just as his superior had suggested as soon as they were back at Quantico.
He came rather late to the meeting and didn’t feel like talking, so he just sat there listening to others telling their stories and problems. And he found comfort in the fact that there were other people like him.
After it had ended, the young agent drove to the office to do his paperwork on the case. No one asked where he had been, they all seemed to either know or ignore it.
Due to him coming in late and the fact that he couldn’t really concentrate on writing his report, because his mind kept wandering off, he still sat at his desk while Morgan and Prentiss had already gone home. Both had offered for him to call them if he wanted to talk.
But Spencer wasn’t the only one of the team who was still at the office.
Hotch watched the lone figure through the half-closed blinds at his office’s window that faced the bullpen area.
He was tempted to send the young man home. The genius looked exhausted and the report wasn’t that important that it couldn’t wait until the next day to be finished. Or rather after a few hours of sleep on this day, he corrected himself after a glance at his watch.
Just as he was about to leave his office he saw Rossi approaching Reid. Aaron was glad that the senior agent seemed to care for the team, too. So he remained standing at the window and watched the conversation that was about to start.
Spencer heard the other man approaching and looked up, surprised to discover that it was Rossi, not Hotch as he had suspected.
“You’re still here, Reid?” the older agent asked gently when he had reached the young man’s desk.
“I’m writing my report, but I’m almost done,” the genius answered.
“I came to apologize,” Rossi simply said.
“For what?” Reid asked confused.
“I practically attacked you at the case briefing. I didn’t mean to invade in your privacy. I just recognize a lie when I hear one. I’m sorry,” Rossi answered sincerely.
After a moment of silence Reid offered a small smile. “Apology accepted.”
Nodding once Rossi sat down on the edge of the desk.
He had been on the team for several months now, but the young agent was still a mystery to him sometimes. But he was the kid’s superior, and since he knew that Hotch had already reprimanded the other profiler, he tried a different approach to make sure that Reid understood what he had done. But he wasn’t going to chide him for withholding information. The senior agent had done that himself more that once since re-joining the BAU, and he could understand why Reid had done it. In this job the feelings sometimes took over control.
Dave was aware that he didn’t know much about the team’s genius beyond what he had read in the personnel file, so he was careful when he said, “You have to tell me something. How did you know that Owen would show up at the police station instead of his mother’s grave?”
Reid realized immediately that this wasn’t going to be an official conversation and relaxed a bit. He wasn’t sure where Rossi was going with his question, but anything was better than getting another reprimand.
“I wasn’t completely sure that he would,“ he replied honestly, “but since Jordan was there and Owen knew where she would most likely be, I figured he would show up there.”
The older agent tilted his head. “Okay, but how did you know he meant Jordan in his letter, not his mother?”
“Jordan was Owen’s reason to live. After we took that away from him, he planned to kill himself, but before that he wanted to do what he couldn’t when his mother died. He wanted to say goodbye,” Reid explained.
“And how did you get him to give up without shooting you?”
A smile tugged at the younger man’s lips. “‘Whoever is unjust, let him be unjust still. Whoever is righteous, let him be righteous still. Whoever is filthy, let him be filthy still.’”
“That’s from the song Owen used in the video. But what does this have to do with him not shooting you?” Rossi asked, his face showing confusion as he couldn’t follow the other man’s reasoning.
“He was an injustice collector,” Spencer replied.
“You still put yourself in danger facing him unarmed,” Rossi pointed out in a mildly scolding tone.
“I know,” the young agent said softly. After a moment of silence he added, “Gideon once told me that the deadliest weapon we have is a thorough and accurate profile. I wanted to give Owen the chance to choose living.”
“So you blocked our shots,” the other agent stated. Reid nodded.
Dave was now certain that the other agent wouldn’t do something like that again, so he got up and, putting his hand on the young man’s shoulder, he said with a hint of admiration, “Owen was lucky that you were there. Good night, Reid.” With that he left.
“Good night, sir,” the genius replied and turned his attention back to his report.
Seeing that Rossi had left, Hotch went over to his desk to grab his bag, and then left his office.
“Reid, stop working and go home. Get some sleep,” he said and stood at the door waiting for the other man.
Though he wanted to argue, the young profiler felt exhausted, so he shut down his computer and took his stuff.
Together the two agents got into the elevator, where Hotch watched the other man out of the corner of his eyes.
He had been worried about Spencer since they were at Owen’s high school.
The normally quiet Reid had practically attacked the dean after hearing that nothing had been done by the school’s administration after the video of Owen had been put on the Internet. The sarcasm he had displayed had surprised Aaron quite a bit.
That had been the first time that he had to keep the other profiler in line on that day by warningly saying his name.
By the time they had been ready to present the profile he had thought that Spencer had calmed down, but he had been wrong. So he had to stop him again.
Hotch was pretty certain that Reid had been bullied in school. The other man had practically told him that after the long-distance-serial-killer case two years ago when he had said that Aaron would kick like a nine-year-old girl.
It was understandable that the young man had been agitated, but it wasn’t like him to act so out of line.
So Hotch had done the only thing he could do.
He had put Reid on the sideline for a while, when he had sent him to help Morgan go through Owen’s stuff, and at the same time he had tried to channeling Spencer’s anger into the work that needed to be done.
And it had worked.
“You alright?” Hotch asked, now openly looking at the other agent.
Spencer thought about that for a moment. He had faced an armed man in order to save him and had succeeded.
So he smiled and answered, “I will be.”
Hotch nodded, satisfied with the answer he got.
Then the elevator doors opened and the agents stepped out.
Before they parted to walk over to where they had parked their cars they wished each other a good night.
As he was walking towards his classic, Reid fished for the keys in his pants’ pocket and his fingers brushed against the medallion that also was in there.
He unlocked the car, opened the door, and got in. Starting the engine, he pulled out of the parking lot and onto the street, heading home to get some rest.
Even though this case had brought up some bad memories, Reid had regained some confidence in himself again.
That was all that mattered to him right now.
“It takes courage to grow up and turn out to be who you really are.” American poet Edward Estlin Cummings