YOU, bring me back the Eiffel Tower
repost, 2010
Title: YOU, bring me back the Eiffel tower!
Characters/Groups: KAT-TUN
Rating: G
Summary: Kame wants to go to Paris, for reasons probably different from what all his folders say.
Notes: Written for the lovely elizajet for je_justfriends ♥
Clarifications: This was (largely) written before the Jincident so I chose to ignore that. Additionally, this is the Paris Opéra.
YOU, bring me back the Eiffel tower!
一 (un)
“Nakamaru!” Kame breathed excitedly when his bandmate finally picked up, gripping his phone so tight his knuckles turned white.
“Nhngh,” Nakamaru replied, because it was the middle of the night and normal people weren’t awake at this hour, much less comprehensible.
“Nakamaru,” Kame repeated urgently.
“What?” Nakamaru moaned, groping around for his glasses so he could confirm the ungodly hour this had to be.
“Let’s go to Paris.”
Nakamaru gave up his search for the elusive glasses only to blink stupidly up at the blurry ceiling.
“… Have you been drinking?” he asked finally.
“No!”
Nakamaru sighed, rubbing his eyes. He was really too tired for this. “Why should we go to Paris?”
“Paris is awesome,” Kame gushed. “I have folders.”
“… I’m sure you do.”
“They have pictures,” Kame added. Nakamaru hummed in acknowledgement.
“We can’t just go to Paris,” he said, because even at arse o’clock in the morning, someone had to be the voice of reason.
“Yes we can,” Kame answered decidedly. “If Akanishi can go to America, we can go to Paris.”
Nakamaru groaned in his pillow. “Just because Jin has crazy ideas, it doesn’t mean we all have to follow suit. Besides, we can’t both leave. I think there’s already a group called TATU.”
“We can all go,” Kame argued.
Nakamaru hesitated. “… What, all six of us?”
“Of course.” He paused, considering. “We’ll make Jin ask really nicely,” he added.
Nakamaru snorted, but couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Good luck with that.”
“You know Jin, if you give him half an excuse to go off to weird, foreign places he takes it with both hands and with the level of excitement usually reserved for five year olds in a candy store,” Kame said confidently.
Nakamaru laughed despite himself. “You seem pretty excited yourself.”
“Well, yes, but this is going to be AMAZING,” Kame nearly squealed. “Seriously, I have plans and everything. We’ll be all over Paris like… like… like Naporeon or something. Only hotter. And more fashion conscious.”
“… Who’s Naporeon?” Nakamaru asked warily, half curious and half doubtful whether he really wanted to know at this time of night.
“Oh, some French dude,” Kame answered vaguely. “Really short. Conquered Europe once or something. I don’t remember the details. I’ll let you borrow my folders.” Nakamaru made a small sound that could possibly be construed as a yes, please.
Then again, maybe not.
All in all, he had a bad feeling about this, he thought, as he mass texted the rest of KAT-TUN in warning.
二 (deux)
“Isn’t Paris the city of looooove?” Junno asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Jin grinned widely. “I’ve heard French chicks are really hot,” he added.
Nakamaru blinked. “I thought you thought American girls were really hot.”
Jin shrugged. “Same thing.”
“That is all totally not the point,” Kame huffed, dumping a large stack of paper in the middle of the table with a loud thud.
“I’d like it to be the point,” Koki said, with a dreamy grin on his face.
“The girls in England were very pretty too,” Ueda added.
“Ueda!” Jin exclaimed, feigning shock but still grinning. “Aren’t you supposed to have a girlfriend?”
Ueda raised one eyebrow. “I was just saying.”
“French women are supposedly very classy,” Junno piped up excitedly. “You know, I can speak some French. I bet they’ll love me,” he added thoughtfully. Koki gave him a decidedly unimpressed look and a kick to his shin under the table.
“Classy girls are awesome,” Jin agreed, confident that he could get at least as much ass as Junno - if not more.
Nakamaru sighed and rolled his eyes. Kame had gotten the look on his face that meant he would kill them all, he just hadn’t quite worked out yet who to kill first. He leaned over to whack his group mates over the head before there could be any more elaborations on classy girls (who, in Jin’s case, usually weren’t as classy as Nakamaru would like).
“Come on guys, this is important.”
“Are we really going to Paris?” Koki asked doubtfully, rubbing his head.
“Yes!” Kame replied empathically, because he’d said it at least fifty times already this morning.
“We’ll never get it cleared with management,” Ueda argued.
“I already did,” Kame replied coolly. “They think it’s a brilliant plan.”
The other five stared at him.
“… What? It wouldn’t work if I’d just start spouting ideas without knowing whether we could actually do it or not, would it?”
“… Kame’s amazing,” Junno remarked in awe and, although Koki kicked him and Jin rolled his eyes and muttered something about being KY, they all agreed that getting management excited for a completely random trip to Paris overnight was something of a superhuman feat.
三 (trois)
“… So what are we actually going to do in Paris?” Koki asked after half an hour of fidgeting in his chair and deciding that all the in-flight movies sucked. Nakamaru looked up from his book and shrugged.
“I don’t know. All I know is that Kame was really excited about going to Paris.”
“Probably some photoshoot or whatever, right?” Jin asked, pausing his iPod. “I thought you guys knew.”
“Like some kind of first in New York gig? First in Paris?”
“I can’t come up with anything better,” Nakamaru admitted.
Jin hummed and turned his iPod back on. Photoshoots were pretty easy, he mused, and he was sure there was plenty of fun to be had in Paris when they were done.
四 (quatre)
One more hour of subtle irritation (but not subtle enough, Nakamaru thought, giving his best friend another dirty look) Nakamaru gave up and lend Koki his book.
“Bring your own entertainment next time,” he grumbled (“I did! It’s just that it ran out of batteries…”) before picking up the pile of folders Kame had pushed into his hands earlier. By now, he was kind of wondering who Naporeon was. (In his mind, he kind of looked like Nishikido Ryo wielding an enormous baguette.)
五 (cinq)
“I CAN SEE THE EIFFEL TOWER FROM HERE!” Nakamaru screeched excitedly, leaning dangerously far out of the taxi window.
Ueda sighed a deep, tortured artist sigh. “Can someone make sure he doesn’t fall out?”
“Already on it,” Koki replied, keeping a firm grip on the back of Nakamaru’s shirt.
“Maybe those folders are cursed,” Junno suggested, twisting in his seat to look at them. “And everyone who reads them gets insanely excited about Paris.” (Junno had been put in front because “he could speak French”. It hadn’t been the amazing success everyone had hoped for.)
“I don’t know, part of me fears this is just Nakamaru,” Koki said solemnly, yanking the beatboxer back into the car before he could actually hurt himself flailing. He did, however, yank a bit too hard (Nakamaru had roughly the same body weight as a ten year old school girl) and both of them landed less than elegantly in Ueda’s lap.
Ueda heaved another deep sigh and pushed them back to their proper part of the backseat.
“Why did we let Akanishi and Kamenashi share a taxi together again?”
Koki grinned. “Because we thought it’d be hilarious.”
“And they had more luggage than the rest of us combined,” Junno added, while Nakamaru’s further attempts at sightseeing were thwarted by a brief scuffle that landed him in the middle of the backseat and Koki at the window. (The driver had given up shouting at them in desperate French about fifteen minutes ago, because it obviously had no effect whatsoever.)
Ueda let his head fall against the window with a thud.
“Taguchi, ask how much longer it’ll take to the hotel,” he implored.
Junno nodded and turned a wide, bright smile to the taxi driver. “Fu-rei fuu ku-shei afekku muwa?”
六 (six)
“Taguchi, I hate you so much,” Ueda said for the umpteenth time.
“How much longer to the hotel?” Nakamaru whined, dragging his heavy suitcase awkwardly behind him.
“Depends on whether we’re walking in the right direction,” Koki grumbled.
He’d barely finished speaking when another taxi drove by, honking loudly, containing Akanishi, Kamenashi and what appeared to be an English speaking taxi driver. They all looked rather pleased with themselves.
“People are going to get killed,” Koki swore, raising his fist at the offending vehicle.
“At least we know we’re going in the right direction?” Junno tried.
The others were less impressed.
七 (sept)
They all gathered in Kame’s room because - Koki claimed as he made himself comfortable on Kame’s bed - it was all his idea.
“So what’s the plan?” Jin asked, handing out beers and trying not to laugh too hard when Koki tried to drink his lying down, which didn’t have all too brilliant consequences for Kame’s bed.
“You know we’re switching rooms, right?” Kame said casually, grabbing Koki’s keycard from where he’d left it on the desk. Koki pulled several exaggerated faces of terror but made no further effort to move.
“Ka~me~,” Jin tried again. “What’s the plan now that we’re actually in Paris?”
Kame’s attention was suddenly incredibly occupied by his can of beer.
“Ka~me~ Ka~me~,” the others called out as well, because they were all actually twelve.
“… Er. It’s a secret.”
The others blinked.
Nakamaru slowly raised his hand. “… So when are we going to see the Eiffel tower?”
Koki threw a pillow at his head.
八 (huit)
“I hate this secret already,” Jin grumbled at eight o’clock the next morning, hidden behind oversized sunglasses and his favourite fedora.
“How so?” Junno asked, bouncing on his heels because even traveling half the world couldn’t bring down Junno’s genki.
“It’s too early,” Jin complained. Koki snored in agreement, head leaning on Nakamaru’s shoulder.
“Are we going to see the Eiffel tower?” Nakamaru asked hopefully when Kame returned from a quick conference with one of the staff-san (who apparently spoke better French than Junno).
“We have work to do first. We can go visit the Eiffel tower later.”
“Are we ever going to hear what kind of work?” Ueda asked, slightly piqued. “I haven’t even seen any makeup staff around yet.”
“Ah. Well. Today is just, you know, practice,” Kame answered vaguely.
“… Right.”
“… So,” Kame tried, going for a bright smile and looking only slightly awkward. “Who wants to try out the French subway?”
九 (neuf)
“What is it?” Junno asked when they resurfaced, blinking in the sunlight.
“Why is it opera?” Jin asked, scrunching up his nose at the name on the subway station.
“It’s awesome!” Nakamaru said, staring up at the building in front of them.
“Really beautiful!” Koki agreed with more than a hint of the same awe in his voice.
“Why is it opera?” Jin asked.
“It’s definitely an inspiring example of European architecture,” Ueda remarked.
“What he said,” Koki agreed, digging in his bag for his camera.
Junno nodded as well. “Ma-ni-fikku!”
“Yes, but, Kame, why is it opera?”
Kame smiled brightly, regarding the splendour of the Paris Opéra building while Koki and Nakamaru were taking turns photographing each other in front of it.
“… Why is it opera?”
Ueda nudged Kame. “I think Jin is biased against opera.”
“What’s opera?” Junno asked, temporarily distracted from flailing his way into Koki’s photographs.
“It’s a style of-,” Ueda began, but Jin interrupted him.
“That,” he said, pointing to the classically decorated building. “Is the opera. I am not doing opera,” he added, turning to Kame. “You can’t make me.”
“There’s no need to worry about that. This is the old opera building, they don’t actually do opera here anymore,” Kame explained calmly.
“… Photoshoot?” Jin asked hopefully, looking around if he could spot any staff trying to take some stealth shots of them.
“Well… It’s not like the building isn’t used at all anymore,” Kame admitted.
十 (dix)
“I hate you so much.”
“Johnny thought it was a brilliant idea as well,” Kame protested.
“Well, he would. Why didn’t that give you a hint to the disastrousness of this plan?”
“Oh, stop complaining. It’s new and exciting and it’s not like the costumes are any worse than what we’re used to wearing.”
“I definitelydisagree,” Koki argued. “I can live with the feathers and the glitter but tights are really going too far.”
The others nodded in grim agreement.
“I’m so not wearing this,” Nakamaru said, frowning at the light blue tights as if they could jump up and attack him at any minute.
“I definitely won’t fit into this,” Jin said, poking at a white get-up.
“At least this has glitter and feathers?” Junno said hesitantly, picking another costume from the racks. Koki kicked him for it.
“That is totally not the point.”
“Aren’t tutus supposed to be for girls?” Ueda guessed, waving vaguely in the direction of something that was very much a tutu.
“And anyway,” Nakamaru added, still eyeing the tights warily, “Aren’t you supposed to be actually, I don’t know, talented, to do ballet?”
“Has that ever stopped you before?” Jin joked.
“Shut up, Akanishi. You go out there and pirouette for the masses.”
“I’m sure we’ll pick it up in no time,” Kame assured them airily. “I wonder where they keep the flying gear in this building? Because the swan princess will definitely need to fly right? Being a bird and all…” he trailed off, wandering away towards a group of staff.
“Ne, Yucchi,” Koki began when Kame was out of earshot.
“Yeah?”
“You think Kame has gone crazy?” he asked, idly fingering the glittery costume Junno had pressed into his hands.
“Quite possibly.”
“Think we should stop him before he forces us all in tights?”
“Quite definitely.”
“Maybe we can tie him to the top of the Eiffel tower!” Junno suggested.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Ueda said mildly, casting subtle glances in the direction of a shimmering black costume.
“Maybe we can tie ourselves to the top of the Eiffel tower,” Jin muttered. “Because I’m sure as hell not performing in tights and practically showing the entire world my eggplant.”
It was silent for a few beats while everyone considered this.
“… Do you really call your thing…?” Koki began finally.
“Shut up. I have crazy fans.”
十一 (onze)
“I know how much effort you put into this, Kame,” Nakamaru said nervously, hiding behind his folders while the others made encouraging gestures from a safe distance. “But we’ve discussed it and we definitely can’t perform in tights and tutus.”
十二 (douze)
“I hate performing in tights.”
“It was way too embarrassing,” Nakamaru whined, still trying to pull his shirt lower.
“And way too uncomfortable,” Jin added. “I thought Europeans were… bigger.”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure that outfit was made for a man,” Ueda commented.
“Kame was pretty awesome as the swan princess, though,” Junno admitted.
“There’s that.”
“True.”
“… It was kind of disturbing,” Jin said.
“But in a good way?”
“Almost.”
“It was amazing how he got the staff to install flying equipment in a one hundred and fifty year old building.”
“Yeah.”
“And kind of terrifying,” Jin added.
Koki blinked. “How so?”
Jin shrugged, looking kind of uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I’m just glad Kame isn’t in charge of like… a country or anything. He would probably rule the world like that.”
“That is kind of creepy,” Junno admitted, plucking a few stray feathers out of his hair.
“Speaking of countries, I just really want to go back to Japan now,” Nakamaru said fervently, clutching his jeans like a lifeline.
“I thought you wanted to see the Eiffel tower?” Jin asked, trying and failing not to grin too wide.
“I think, on further consideration, the Tokyo tower will do me just fine, actually,” Nakamaru decided quickly.
十三 (treize)
“The show in general was a total failure but they adored you,” Junno told Kame happily, slowly deciphering the French newspaper.
“Hah! I knew it. Did they say anything about the flying?”
“… Not really,” Junno answered, scanning the text. “They do mention eggplants, though,” he added. Jin hid further under his fedora while Nakamaru had a loud coughing fit.
“The point is that they loved it,” Kame said, ignoring the part about the eggplant.
“Well…” Junno began, but Kame didn’t let him interrupt.
“So there was really no reason to kidnap me and drag me back to Japan.”
“We really hated those tights, though,” Koki said.
“And besides,” Ueda added, handing Nakamaru’s camera back to him, “the Tokyo tower is at least as esthetically pleasing as the Eiffel tower.”
Nakamaru nodded energetically. “It helps that everyone is wearing pants.”
Junno smiled brightly. “I was actually starting to get used to the tights.”
“Eww, Taguchi, way to be KY,” Jin said, taking a few steps back.
“Stop it, Jin, you’re moving out of the frame.”
“But Taguchi is being gross!”
“Then go stand next to Koki.”
“I don’t know if I want the eggplant guy anywhere near me, to be honest.”
“Shut up and smile,” Kame berated him.
“Alright everyone,” Nakamaru called out, when Kame had herded everyone close enough together. “Say cheese…”
“I feel like such a tourist…”
FLASH.
Title: YOU, bring me back the Eiffel tower!
Characters/Groups: KAT-TUN
Rating: G
Summary: Kame wants to go to Paris, for reasons probably different from what all his folders say.
Notes: Written for the lovely elizajet for je_justfriends ♥
Clarifications: This was (largely) written before the Jincident so I chose to ignore that. Additionally, this is the Paris Opéra.
YOU, bring me back the Eiffel tower!
一 (un)
“Nakamaru!” Kame breathed excitedly when his bandmate finally picked up, gripping his phone so tight his knuckles turned white.
“Nhngh,” Nakamaru replied, because it was the middle of the night and normal people weren’t awake at this hour, much less comprehensible.
“Nakamaru,” Kame repeated urgently.
“What?” Nakamaru moaned, groping around for his glasses so he could confirm the ungodly hour this had to be.
“Let’s go to Paris.”
Nakamaru gave up his search for the elusive glasses only to blink stupidly up at the blurry ceiling.
“… Have you been drinking?” he asked finally.
“No!”
Nakamaru sighed, rubbing his eyes. He was really too tired for this. “Why should we go to Paris?”
“Paris is awesome,” Kame gushed. “I have folders.”
“… I’m sure you do.”
“They have pictures,” Kame added. Nakamaru hummed in acknowledgement.
“We can’t just go to Paris,” he said, because even at arse o’clock in the morning, someone had to be the voice of reason.
“Yes we can,” Kame answered decidedly. “If Akanishi can go to America, we can go to Paris.”
Nakamaru groaned in his pillow. “Just because Jin has crazy ideas, it doesn’t mean we all have to follow suit. Besides, we can’t both leave. I think there’s already a group called TATU.”
“We can all go,” Kame argued.
Nakamaru hesitated. “… What, all six of us?”
“Of course.” He paused, considering. “We’ll make Jin ask really nicely,” he added.
Nakamaru snorted, but couldn’t stop the smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Good luck with that.”
“You know Jin, if you give him half an excuse to go off to weird, foreign places he takes it with both hands and with the level of excitement usually reserved for five year olds in a candy store,” Kame said confidently.
Nakamaru laughed despite himself. “You seem pretty excited yourself.”
“Well, yes, but this is going to be AMAZING,” Kame nearly squealed. “Seriously, I have plans and everything. We’ll be all over Paris like… like… like Naporeon or something. Only hotter. And more fashion conscious.”
“… Who’s Naporeon?” Nakamaru asked warily, half curious and half doubtful whether he really wanted to know at this time of night.
“Oh, some French dude,” Kame answered vaguely. “Really short. Conquered Europe once or something. I don’t remember the details. I’ll let you borrow my folders.” Nakamaru made a small sound that could possibly be construed as a yes, please.
Then again, maybe not.
All in all, he had a bad feeling about this, he thought, as he mass texted the rest of KAT-TUN in warning.
二 (deux)
“Isn’t Paris the city of looooove?” Junno asked, wiggling his eyebrows.
Jin grinned widely. “I’ve heard French chicks are really hot,” he added.
Nakamaru blinked. “I thought you thought American girls were really hot.”
Jin shrugged. “Same thing.”
“That is all totally not the point,” Kame huffed, dumping a large stack of paper in the middle of the table with a loud thud.
“I’d like it to be the point,” Koki said, with a dreamy grin on his face.
“The girls in England were very pretty too,” Ueda added.
“Ueda!” Jin exclaimed, feigning shock but still grinning. “Aren’t you supposed to have a girlfriend?”
Ueda raised one eyebrow. “I was just saying.”
“French women are supposedly very classy,” Junno piped up excitedly. “You know, I can speak some French. I bet they’ll love me,” he added thoughtfully. Koki gave him a decidedly unimpressed look and a kick to his shin under the table.
“Classy girls are awesome,” Jin agreed, confident that he could get at least as much ass as Junno - if not more.
Nakamaru sighed and rolled his eyes. Kame had gotten the look on his face that meant he would kill them all, he just hadn’t quite worked out yet who to kill first. He leaned over to whack his group mates over the head before there could be any more elaborations on classy girls (who, in Jin’s case, usually weren’t as classy as Nakamaru would like).
“Come on guys, this is important.”
“Are we really going to Paris?” Koki asked doubtfully, rubbing his head.
“Yes!” Kame replied empathically, because he’d said it at least fifty times already this morning.
“We’ll never get it cleared with management,” Ueda argued.
“I already did,” Kame replied coolly. “They think it’s a brilliant plan.”
The other five stared at him.
“… What? It wouldn’t work if I’d just start spouting ideas without knowing whether we could actually do it or not, would it?”
“… Kame’s amazing,” Junno remarked in awe and, although Koki kicked him and Jin rolled his eyes and muttered something about being KY, they all agreed that getting management excited for a completely random trip to Paris overnight was something of a superhuman feat.
三 (trois)
“… So what are we actually going to do in Paris?” Koki asked after half an hour of fidgeting in his chair and deciding that all the in-flight movies sucked. Nakamaru looked up from his book and shrugged.
“I don’t know. All I know is that Kame was really excited about going to Paris.”
“Probably some photoshoot or whatever, right?” Jin asked, pausing his iPod. “I thought you guys knew.”
“Like some kind of first in New York gig? First in Paris?”
“I can’t come up with anything better,” Nakamaru admitted.
Jin hummed and turned his iPod back on. Photoshoots were pretty easy, he mused, and he was sure there was plenty of fun to be had in Paris when they were done.
四 (quatre)
One more hour of subtle irritation (but not subtle enough, Nakamaru thought, giving his best friend another dirty look) Nakamaru gave up and lend Koki his book.
“Bring your own entertainment next time,” he grumbled (“I did! It’s just that it ran out of batteries…”) before picking up the pile of folders Kame had pushed into his hands earlier. By now, he was kind of wondering who Naporeon was. (In his mind, he kind of looked like Nishikido Ryo wielding an enormous baguette.)
五 (cinq)
“I CAN SEE THE EIFFEL TOWER FROM HERE!” Nakamaru screeched excitedly, leaning dangerously far out of the taxi window.
Ueda sighed a deep, tortured artist sigh. “Can someone make sure he doesn’t fall out?”
“Already on it,” Koki replied, keeping a firm grip on the back of Nakamaru’s shirt.
“Maybe those folders are cursed,” Junno suggested, twisting in his seat to look at them. “And everyone who reads them gets insanely excited about Paris.” (Junno had been put in front because “he could speak French”. It hadn’t been the amazing success everyone had hoped for.)
“I don’t know, part of me fears this is just Nakamaru,” Koki said solemnly, yanking the beatboxer back into the car before he could actually hurt himself flailing. He did, however, yank a bit too hard (Nakamaru had roughly the same body weight as a ten year old school girl) and both of them landed less than elegantly in Ueda’s lap.
Ueda heaved another deep sigh and pushed them back to their proper part of the backseat.
“Why did we let Akanishi and Kamenashi share a taxi together again?”
Koki grinned. “Because we thought it’d be hilarious.”
“And they had more luggage than the rest of us combined,” Junno added, while Nakamaru’s further attempts at sightseeing were thwarted by a brief scuffle that landed him in the middle of the backseat and Koki at the window. (The driver had given up shouting at them in desperate French about fifteen minutes ago, because it obviously had no effect whatsoever.)
Ueda let his head fall against the window with a thud.
“Taguchi, ask how much longer it’ll take to the hotel,” he implored.
Junno nodded and turned a wide, bright smile to the taxi driver. “Fu-rei fuu ku-shei afekku muwa?”
六 (six)
“Taguchi, I hate you so much,” Ueda said for the umpteenth time.
“How much longer to the hotel?” Nakamaru whined, dragging his heavy suitcase awkwardly behind him.
“Depends on whether we’re walking in the right direction,” Koki grumbled.
He’d barely finished speaking when another taxi drove by, honking loudly, containing Akanishi, Kamenashi and what appeared to be an English speaking taxi driver. They all looked rather pleased with themselves.
“People are going to get killed,” Koki swore, raising his fist at the offending vehicle.
“At least we know we’re going in the right direction?” Junno tried.
The others were less impressed.
七 (sept)
They all gathered in Kame’s room because - Koki claimed as he made himself comfortable on Kame’s bed - it was all his idea.
“So what’s the plan?” Jin asked, handing out beers and trying not to laugh too hard when Koki tried to drink his lying down, which didn’t have all too brilliant consequences for Kame’s bed.
“You know we’re switching rooms, right?” Kame said casually, grabbing Koki’s keycard from where he’d left it on the desk. Koki pulled several exaggerated faces of terror but made no further effort to move.
“Ka~me~,” Jin tried again. “What’s the plan now that we’re actually in Paris?”
Kame’s attention was suddenly incredibly occupied by his can of beer.
“Ka~me~ Ka~me~,” the others called out as well, because they were all actually twelve.
“… Er. It’s a secret.”
The others blinked.
Nakamaru slowly raised his hand. “… So when are we going to see the Eiffel tower?”
Koki threw a pillow at his head.
八 (huit)
“I hate this secret already,” Jin grumbled at eight o’clock the next morning, hidden behind oversized sunglasses and his favourite fedora.
“How so?” Junno asked, bouncing on his heels because even traveling half the world couldn’t bring down Junno’s genki.
“It’s too early,” Jin complained. Koki snored in agreement, head leaning on Nakamaru’s shoulder.
“Are we going to see the Eiffel tower?” Nakamaru asked hopefully when Kame returned from a quick conference with one of the staff-san (who apparently spoke better French than Junno).
“We have work to do first. We can go visit the Eiffel tower later.”
“Are we ever going to hear what kind of work?” Ueda asked, slightly piqued. “I haven’t even seen any makeup staff around yet.”
“Ah. Well. Today is just, you know, practice,” Kame answered vaguely.
“… Right.”
“… So,” Kame tried, going for a bright smile and looking only slightly awkward. “Who wants to try out the French subway?”
九 (neuf)
“What is it?” Junno asked when they resurfaced, blinking in the sunlight.
“Why is it opera?” Jin asked, scrunching up his nose at the name on the subway station.
“It’s awesome!” Nakamaru said, staring up at the building in front of them.
“Really beautiful!” Koki agreed with more than a hint of the same awe in his voice.
“Why is it opera?” Jin asked.
“It’s definitely an inspiring example of European architecture,” Ueda remarked.
“What he said,” Koki agreed, digging in his bag for his camera.
Junno nodded as well. “Ma-ni-fikku!”
“Yes, but, Kame, why is it opera?”
Kame smiled brightly, regarding the splendour of the Paris Opéra building while Koki and Nakamaru were taking turns photographing each other in front of it.
“… Why is it opera?”
Ueda nudged Kame. “I think Jin is biased against opera.”
“What’s opera?” Junno asked, temporarily distracted from flailing his way into Koki’s photographs.
“It’s a style of-,” Ueda began, but Jin interrupted him.
“That,” he said, pointing to the classically decorated building. “Is the opera. I am not doing opera,” he added, turning to Kame. “You can’t make me.”
“There’s no need to worry about that. This is the old opera building, they don’t actually do opera here anymore,” Kame explained calmly.
“… Photoshoot?” Jin asked hopefully, looking around if he could spot any staff trying to take some stealth shots of them.
“Well… It’s not like the building isn’t used at all anymore,” Kame admitted.
十 (dix)
“I hate you so much.”
“Johnny thought it was a brilliant idea as well,” Kame protested.
“Well, he would. Why didn’t that give you a hint to the disastrousness of this plan?”
“Oh, stop complaining. It’s new and exciting and it’s not like the costumes are any worse than what we’re used to wearing.”
“I definitelydisagree,” Koki argued. “I can live with the feathers and the glitter but tights are really going too far.”
The others nodded in grim agreement.
“I’m so not wearing this,” Nakamaru said, frowning at the light blue tights as if they could jump up and attack him at any minute.
“I definitely won’t fit into this,” Jin said, poking at a white get-up.
“At least this has glitter and feathers?” Junno said hesitantly, picking another costume from the racks. Koki kicked him for it.
“That is totally not the point.”
“Aren’t tutus supposed to be for girls?” Ueda guessed, waving vaguely in the direction of something that was very much a tutu.
“And anyway,” Nakamaru added, still eyeing the tights warily, “Aren’t you supposed to be actually, I don’t know, talented, to do ballet?”
“Has that ever stopped you before?” Jin joked.
“Shut up, Akanishi. You go out there and pirouette for the masses.”
“I’m sure we’ll pick it up in no time,” Kame assured them airily. “I wonder where they keep the flying gear in this building? Because the swan princess will definitely need to fly right? Being a bird and all…” he trailed off, wandering away towards a group of staff.
“Ne, Yucchi,” Koki began when Kame was out of earshot.
“Yeah?”
“You think Kame has gone crazy?” he asked, idly fingering the glittery costume Junno had pressed into his hands.
“Quite possibly.”
“Think we should stop him before he forces us all in tights?”
“Quite definitely.”
“Maybe we can tie him to the top of the Eiffel tower!” Junno suggested.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” Ueda said mildly, casting subtle glances in the direction of a shimmering black costume.
“Maybe we can tie ourselves to the top of the Eiffel tower,” Jin muttered. “Because I’m sure as hell not performing in tights and practically showing the entire world my eggplant.”
It was silent for a few beats while everyone considered this.
“… Do you really call your thing…?” Koki began finally.
“Shut up. I have crazy fans.”
十一 (onze)
“I know how much effort you put into this, Kame,” Nakamaru said nervously, hiding behind his folders while the others made encouraging gestures from a safe distance. “But we’ve discussed it and we definitely can’t perform in tights and tutus.”
十二 (douze)
“I hate performing in tights.”
“It was way too embarrassing,” Nakamaru whined, still trying to pull his shirt lower.
“And way too uncomfortable,” Jin added. “I thought Europeans were… bigger.”
“I’m not a hundred percent sure that outfit was made for a man,” Ueda commented.
“Kame was pretty awesome as the swan princess, though,” Junno admitted.
“There’s that.”
“True.”
“… It was kind of disturbing,” Jin said.
“But in a good way?”
“Almost.”
“It was amazing how he got the staff to install flying equipment in a one hundred and fifty year old building.”
“Yeah.”
“And kind of terrifying,” Jin added.
Koki blinked. “How so?”
Jin shrugged, looking kind of uncomfortable. “I don’t know. I’m just glad Kame isn’t in charge of like… a country or anything. He would probably rule the world like that.”
“That is kind of creepy,” Junno admitted, plucking a few stray feathers out of his hair.
“Speaking of countries, I just really want to go back to Japan now,” Nakamaru said fervently, clutching his jeans like a lifeline.
“I thought you wanted to see the Eiffel tower?” Jin asked, trying and failing not to grin too wide.
“I think, on further consideration, the Tokyo tower will do me just fine, actually,” Nakamaru decided quickly.
十三 (treize)
“The show in general was a total failure but they adored you,” Junno told Kame happily, slowly deciphering the French newspaper.
“Hah! I knew it. Did they say anything about the flying?”
“… Not really,” Junno answered, scanning the text. “They do mention eggplants, though,” he added. Jin hid further under his fedora while Nakamaru had a loud coughing fit.
“The point is that they loved it,” Kame said, ignoring the part about the eggplant.
“Well…” Junno began, but Kame didn’t let him interrupt.
“So there was really no reason to kidnap me and drag me back to Japan.”
“We really hated those tights, though,” Koki said.
“And besides,” Ueda added, handing Nakamaru’s camera back to him, “the Tokyo tower is at least as esthetically pleasing as the Eiffel tower.”
Nakamaru nodded energetically. “It helps that everyone is wearing pants.”
Junno smiled brightly. “I was actually starting to get used to the tights.”
“Eww, Taguchi, way to be KY,” Jin said, taking a few steps back.
“Stop it, Jin, you’re moving out of the frame.”
“But Taguchi is being gross!”
“Then go stand next to Koki.”
“I don’t know if I want the eggplant guy anywhere near me, to be honest.”
“Shut up and smile,” Kame berated him.
“Alright everyone,” Nakamaru called out, when Kame had herded everyone close enough together. “Say cheese…”
“I feel like such a tourist…”
FLASH.