Re: Labor this time aroundcokewithdrawlMarch 16 2011, 16:43:50 UTC
My mom was in labor with me for around 18-24 hours and had a lot of back labor. My sister, on the other hand, was born around 2 hours after my mom went into labor (45 minutes after she got to the hospital). So it's not impossible you could have an 'express' birth this time around.
It is such a pickle about finding a caretaker for Ben in a pinch. Maybe pursue Jake's co-worker? Do you have any co-workers that live in your area? I think if I ended up having kids in Oklahoma, that would be my worry. I have friends in OK, but I'm not sure I could call them in the middle of the night to pick up another kiddo.
Re: Labor this time aroundpurerandomnessMarch 16 2011, 17:59:51 UTC
I'm sure that Liz (the co-worker) would be happy to take Ben, it's just the distance that concerns me. We also have the woman who works in the baby room at Ben's daycare (her daughters are our babysitters) that we could approach. Other than that, everyone lives in Ann Arbor or closer to Detroit. There is no one really 'nearby' that could come at a moment's notice or that I would feel comfortable calling at 2 am and asking 'Hey, could you come get Ben?' :$ Dumb of me not to think of this sooner!
Being focused is keeping me from flying apart at the seams! I have definite reservations about this baby and this birth, but I think that is a normal part of adjusting to life in a two-child home (similar to a first child adjustment).
Do you have any friends you're comfortable having there to be on call for Ben? My mom is coming, but since she's about a two hour drive away I've also asked my friend Juli to come. She's a very mellow presence and Ry likes her so she's basically there to be a back up in case my mom is late or I end up needing my mom myself!
I do have a few friends I would be all right having around, but I feel weird approaching them at this late date. None of them have children and live quite a distance away (20+ min at least). My ideal situation is to give birth during daylight on a weekday when Ben is at daycare, because we've got that scenario all planned out! If I go into labor overnight and he's sleeping I'm fine with having him stay, but if he wakes or we have to transfer is where we run into problems. :( I feel so silly and stupid for letting this slip my mind!
If it makes you feel any better, I didn't ask this friend until pretty recently and she too lives about 20-30 minutes away. I think for the most part friends feel honored to be asked.
I have an ideal scenario of my own where things start much like they did last time (with my water breaking at 6 a.m.) so that I can call my mom and know she doesn't have to try and drive in traffic or the middle of night!
It was actually making me a little anxious last night to realize that I seriously can't count on having tons of time between when I know I'm in labor and when I'm no longer able to focus on anything BUT that labor. I'm finding that so much more stressful this time than it was last time.
Are your friends aware you are homebirthing? Can Jake possibly have the conversation with them if it makes you too awkward?
For a friend, I honestly don't think it's asking too much or a strange request. You know, they're FRIENDS, they should be willing to do favors for you in case of emergency.
Just tell them the likelihood would be REALLY low and it would most likely just require that they drive over to your place and crash on the couch/extra bed until Ben could be taken to daycare in the morning.
We were fortunate in that we have family "close" by, so our contigency for middle of the night labour was for me to call Mum, and she would come over to take Attia (they live about a 30 min drive away).
How did your labour start with Ben? With Attia, my water broke and I went into labour about 7 hours later. With Declan, my waters broke (fortunately around 4.00pm), and I went into labour about 5 hours later.
Do take heed of the advice that the second labour may be shorter. I was in labour for 8 hours with Attia, but barely 2 hours with Declan. So it may happen quickly!!
Can Jake's co-worker stay with Ben in your house? That may be a better option than have him take Ben away for an overnight stay. If it's the middle of the night, hopefully Ben will stay asleep so the co-worker won't have to do much!
With Ben, I had days of pre-labor and then a long, long back labor with him. We think it's because we has posterior that the labor lasted so long. Even if this labor was to go much more quickly, we'd probably still have a *sign* that yes, this is the real thing. We called Ben's daycare lady last night and had a really great conversation. Everyone is now on the same page, she's totally fine with picking him up in the middle of the night, it seems that things worked out fairly easily. :)
Would it be at all possible to call your MIL when you go into labor and put her up in a hotel until the baby's born?
We had my mom come over when I knew I was in serious labor with Noah (she only lived about 40 minutes away) and we did indeed have to pack up in the middle of the night to go to the hospital.
Another option may be to see if any employees at your daycare do freelance babysitting or would consider the possibility of being on call for you should the need arise.
I should definitely post an update to this because I think we've got everything settled out with Ben's daycare lady. She is really very excited to help us out and was so positive during the phone call last night. It eased my mind so much. We also have another daycare provider whose daughters are our usual babysitters that would take Ben overnight in a heartbeat if Nikki couldn't. I trust both of them implicitly and Ben knows them well so those are our 1st two options.
Jake and I did discuss the option of having his mom come out and taking Ben to the local hotel during labor. Unfortunately, she's 8+ hours away and *could* miss the entire thing if we called her when labor started. I don't think it's an option for any of our family to just come hang out at our home for a week waiting for baby to show up.
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It is such a pickle about finding a caretaker for Ben in a pinch. Maybe pursue Jake's co-worker? Do you have any co-workers that live in your area? I think if I ended up having kids in Oklahoma, that would be my worry. I have friends in OK, but I'm not sure I could call them in the middle of the night to pick up another kiddo.
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Other than that, everyone lives in Ann Arbor or closer to Detroit. There is no one really 'nearby' that could come at a moment's notice or that I would feel comfortable calling at 2 am and asking 'Hey, could you come get Ben?'
:$ Dumb of me not to think of this sooner!
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I got a niece on the 5th, another baby had a friend on the 12th, so you're next!
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:)
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My ideal situation is to give birth during daylight on a weekday when Ben is at daycare, because we've got that scenario all planned out! If I go into labor overnight and he's sleeping I'm fine with having him stay, but if he wakes or we have to transfer is where we run into problems. :( I feel so silly and stupid for letting this slip my mind!
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I have an ideal scenario of my own where things start much like they did last time (with my water breaking at 6 a.m.) so that I can call my mom and know she doesn't have to try and drive in traffic or the middle of night!
It was actually making me a little anxious last night to realize that I seriously can't count on having tons of time between when I know I'm in labor and when I'm no longer able to focus on anything BUT that labor. I'm finding that so much more stressful this time than it was last time.
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For a friend, I honestly don't think it's asking too much or a strange request. You know, they're FRIENDS, they should be willing to do favors for you in case of emergency.
Just tell them the likelihood would be REALLY low and it would most likely just require that they drive over to your place and crash on the couch/extra bed until Ben could be taken to daycare in the morning.
It's *really* not very much to ask.
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How did your labour start with Ben? With Attia, my water broke and I went into labour about 7 hours later. With Declan, my waters broke (fortunately around 4.00pm), and I went into labour about 5 hours later.
Do take heed of the advice that the second labour may be shorter. I was in labour for 8 hours with Attia, but barely 2 hours with Declan. So it may happen quickly!!
Can Jake's co-worker stay with Ben in your house? That may be a better option than have him take Ben away for an overnight stay. If it's the middle of the night, hopefully Ben will stay asleep so the co-worker won't have to do much!
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We called Ben's daycare lady last night and had a really great conversation. Everyone is now on the same page, she's totally fine with picking him up in the middle of the night, it seems that things worked out fairly easily. :)
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We had my mom come over when I knew I was in serious labor with Noah (she only lived about 40 minutes away) and we did indeed have to pack up in the middle of the night to go to the hospital.
Another option may be to see if any employees at your daycare do freelance babysitting or would consider the possibility of being on call for you should the need arise.
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We also have another daycare provider whose daughters are our usual babysitters that would take Ben overnight in a heartbeat if Nikki couldn't. I trust both of them implicitly and Ben knows them well so those are our 1st two options.
Jake and I did discuss the option of having his mom come out and taking Ben to the local hotel during labor. Unfortunately, she's 8+ hours away and *could* miss the entire thing if we called her when labor started. I don't think it's an option for any of our family to just come hang out at our home for a week waiting for baby to show up.
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