Eeteuk/Kangin AU fic
title: to protect, to guard, to worry
theme: 001. freefall; 002/100; archive
Eeteuk/Kangin
humor and drama
i meant for this to be completely different.
Not that Eeteuk was getting paid but, he thought, there wasn't enough money in Heaven or on Earth to make his job worth it. For a guardian angel Eeteuk was terribly discontent. His charge, Kim Youngwoon -- better known as Kangin to his friends, enemies, and the occasional debt collector --, was enough to give even the divine heart palpitations. For someone who didn't actually have a death wish, Kangin sure as hell lived like he did.
Kangin drank and he smoked and he gambled and he borrowed a lot of money from people he had no business borrowing money from. Stress was a foreign concept to most angels, but Eeteuk had always been special. Kangin made him a nervous wreck more often than not. Especially when, like that morning, he had climbed out of the bedroom window of a women only seconds before her husband had walked through the door. At that point there had been little Eeteuk could do other than to make sure Kangin didn't break his neck getting to the ground.
But then Kangin would do things like help old grandmothers cross the street, or offer to help his neighbors carry their new sofa up to their apartment, and then he would set out food for the stray cat that roamed in front of the building and--
"It's like he's an entirely different person and he's just so good with children and I--"
"Enough!" Heechul shouted. "You're supposed to guard this guy, not...whatever it is you're making me suffer through." He reached over to grab two drinks off the table next to theirs before anyone noticed they'd been set down. "Here," he said, passing the glass filled with some dark liquid to Eeteuk and keeping the pink fruity drink for himself.
Eeteuk picked up his glass and took a large gulp of whatever it was he'd been given. He couldn't taste it and it wouldn't get him drunk, but it was a nice momentary distraction for both of them, but mostly Heechul.
"Considering what our average lifespan is, you'd think that we'd at least be able to get drunk once in a while," said Heechul. "You know, to take the edge off of eternity."
Eeteuk sighed wearily. He'd heard it all before. "Oh no," he said suddenly, looking around the room. "Where's Kangin?" He stood up, pushing his chair back -- glad that even that would go almost completely unnoticed by the people at the bar -- and scanned the room again. "Oh no," he repeated. "He's gone. Kangin's gone. I've lost Kangin."
Heechul rolled his eyes. "Relax. He was here a minute ago. How much trouble could he possibly-- you should probably go find him."
In the amount of time it had taken Eeteuk to realize Kangin had left the bar, to the moment he ran through the door after him, all manner of things had run through Eeteuk's mind. Kangin could have crossed the street before the light had changed because he was too drunk to think about what he was doing and been flattened by an oncoming truck, or he could have drowned in the ocean because he'd decided to take a stroll along the beach, or any number of other things Eeteuk could think of. Some half-formed ideas involved fires, birds of prey, and young miscreants. He hadn't been following Kangin all that long, by his own standards of time, but he cared a lot about him anyway. Though Eeteuk worried about Kangin even more.
But as he stood outside, unable to feel the cold that had the people walking along the streets huddled together or wrapped tightly in their winter coats, he saw Kangin leaning against the side of the building, trying to light his cigarette. He breathed in and out calmly, mostly in relief but also in mild frustration.
"It would be so poetic if, after all the stress you've given me, you die of lung cancer," said Eeteuk as he walked over to where Kangin was standing. "You do know those can kill you, right? It says so right on the box. I'm an angel, I know these things."
Kangin sighed in annoyance, threw his cigarette to the ground, then turned toward Eeteuk. "I should probably quit," he said.
Eeteuk blinked because he couldn't be seen or heard. He knew he couldn't. But if it hadn't been for the way that Kangin had looked past him instead of at him, he'd almost have thought Kangin had known he was there.
Sometimes Kangin was extremely perceptive, despite his usual aloof attitude toward most things in his life. And sometimes Eeteuk was afraid that maybe he had gotten too close or pushed to hard. On those days that Kangin acted differently than what was normal for him, before Eeteuk had a chance to guide him between one path and another, Eeteuk would be so sure that his own influence was too strong. He knew he spent more time around Kangin than what was absolutely necessary.
Despite how Kangin made Eeteuk want to get down on his knees and pray for both of their souls every time Kangin even left his apartment, Eeteuk really like him. He liked watching Kangin, protecting Kangin, even worrying about Kangin -- though he would never, ever give Heechul the satisfaction of knowing he was right about that.
When those brief moments came where Kangin listened to Eeteuk, when Eeteuk hadn't meant for Kangin to hear him, it made Eeteuk almost happy. He had, at times, taken to quietly talking about useless, silly things to Kangin, though it was entirely a one-sided conversation. Except--
"Yesterday wasn't even the first time it had happened, either! Am I crazy? Can angels lose their mind?" asked Eeteuk.
Heechul pulled the tiny plastic sword out from his drink, and stabbed it into one of the many balled up napkins on their table. "You are definitely crazy," he said. "But that doesn't mean you're still invisible to Kangin."
Eeteuk stared curiously at Heechul.
"If you want to be seen, you can be," Heechul elaborated. "Usually it's intentional, though, so I don't know about your situation. Maybe Kangin has some kind of supernatural ability to see heavenly beings. There are people who claim they can see ghosts. It could be like that except, you know, real." He stirred his drink with his finger and laughed to himself. Eeteuk thought that Heechul shouldn't be allowed to judge other people for being crazy.
He shifted to get a better look at Kangin on the other side of the bar. So far Kangin had drank less than he usually did and hadn't said anything inappropriate to anyone. It was nice and calm and-- "That's not good."
Heechul looked up at him curiously. "What? Is it interesting?"
"That guy over there," Eeteuk said, pointing at the far corner where a man was sat, watching Kangin. "About a week ago he and Kangin got into a fight when that guy was harassing one of the girls who Kangin works with."
"Do you think they're going to fight again? That guy looks big, but I think Kangin could take him on."
"What? Heechul," Eeteuk admonished.
"Fine," said Heechul. "You're no fun; I should know that by now. Anyway, you might want to do something about the big guy soon." He tilted his head in the direction of the man who was starting to stand up, and still staring at Kangin darkly.
Without thinking, Eeteuk ran over and pushed the man's drink into his lap, effectively distracting him from whatever his course had been. It went completely against protocol and Eeteuk knew that was likely a very stupid move, but it was still a little fun. After that he made his way over to Kangin and pushed, pulled, and suggested to him that perhaps now would be a good time to leave.
With less effort than Eeteuk was used to, Kangin was up and out the door, heading back to his apartment. It was snowing lightly outside and he could see puffs of air as Kangin exhaled. "You should have brought a scarf," said Eeteuk. "And worn a better jacket. It'll be bad if you catch a cold."
Kangin stopped walking and turned around. He blinked a few times, like he was trying to focus his eyes, then he took a step forward. "I was going to wear a scarf this morning," he said, "but I forgot when I realized I was late for work."
Eeteuk didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to do, didn't know much of anything at all because suspecting and thinking and sometimes wanting were entirely different from having and--
"If you're going to keep following me, could you walk next to me instead of behind me, at least? It's less creepy that way," Kangin added.
Eeteuk nodded once, and then moved into position on Kangin's left. He was just the tiniest bit closer than he should have been, he noticed too late. He wasn't used to interacting with people, but Kangin didn't appear to be bothered. They walked together for a while without either of them speaking. Eeteuk kept looking around because, while what he was doing wasn't against the rules in so many words, it was frowned upon and he expected to get reprimanded at any moment. Such a thing coming from Heaven was truly awe-inspiring.
"So are you a spirit or something? Are you haunting me?" asked Kangin as they entered his home and he removed his shoes and placed his jacket over the back of a chair.
"I'm an angel," Eeteuk clarified. "I'm your guardian. I keep you out of trouble and away from anything dangerous."
Kangin folded his arms over his chest and looked at Eeteuk skeptically.
"Look, I'm doing the best I can! You're a very difficult person to work with," Eeteuk said defensively.
Kangin tilted his head back and laughed warm and bright and Eeteuk loved his smile. Kangin, Eeteuk knew, smiled a lot. He was kind and friendly and occasionally very, very dense and made very, very bad decisions. But he was happy and that made Eeteuk happy in some odd way.
Especially when Kangin talked with Eeteuk and joked with him and told Eeteuk things that he already knew but liked hearing again anyway. It wasn't unheard of for a human to find out about the existence of angels, it just didn't happen all that often. Not in so long, in fact, that Eeteuk couldn't even remember exactly when such a things had last occurred. What he did remember was something he'd rather not remember at all.
But Eeteuk assured himself that he was different. There was a difference between friendship and a job that he had to do. A job that he wanted to do. Eeteuk was professional and detached and...he cared for Kangin a lot. So much that sometimes--
"He can see me and hear me and he knows what I am!" Eeteuk said in his most panicked tone of voice. "Are you even listening?"
Heechul looked off to the side, frowning. "You still haven't thanked me for taking care of that guy from yesterday," he said.
"What?" asked Eeteuk. "You. What. Heechul, you didn't--"
Heechul grinned. "I'll take that as your thanks. Now what were you saying about Kangin? He knows about you now?" He tapped his straw against his lips while he thought. "It really isn't a big problem, as long as you don't do anything stupid. I know it'll be hard for you to resist, but I think you can do it."
"I'm glad you have so much confidence in me," replied Eeteuk dryly.
"Don't think about it too hard," said Heechul. "Sometimes these things just turn out this way and there isn't anything you can do about it. Unless you want to transfer; have someone else look after Kangin. Or maybe he can handle his own life now. You can't babysit him forever."
"No," Eeteuk said. "That's not what I want. And I'm not a babysitter! How many times do I have to remind you that what I do is very vital to the continued balance of--"
"Oh look at that, Kangin just came out of the bathroom and is heading this way. It's best I leave now," said Heechul, already standing up.
"Hey," said Kangin, walking over to Eeteuk just as Heechul left. "Let's get out of here. It's not every day I get my own angel to hang out with." Kangin paused. "Or, I guess it is. How long have you been following me?"
"Almost a year," Eeteuk answered. They made their way outside, where it had stopped snowing earlier and the city was covered in white and the snow and ice crunched beneath Kangin's feet. "Most people don't have guardian angels, just so you know."
Kangin smiled. "I always knew I was special."
Eeteuk snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yes, exactly. Special. Not foolish or hotheaded or so reckless that even the higher-ups in heaven took notice. None of those, just special."
Kangin grinned. "I know," he said, wrapping his arm around Eeteuk's shoulders. Eeteuk couldn't feel the weight of Kangin's arm on him or the warmth from Kangin's body, but he thought it was nice. He liked it, whatever it was.
"I feel I should tell you that the reason people are looking at you strangely is because, while you can see me, to everyone else you appear to be walking alone. I can't say for sure, but you probably look like a bit deranged," Eeteuk said.
"I'm okay with that," said Kangin. He used his free arm to wave at a man who glanced at him curiously as he spoke to Eeteuk. "This is kind of fun. Though it does make me wonder if maybe I have lost my mind and you're only in my head. They could be looking at me like I'm insane, because I am." He sounded thoughtful. "But I think that even if you aren't real, you're still my favorite imaginary friend."
It was a weird, thought Eeteuk, how even the dumbest things Kangin could think of to say still made him smile. A lot of things Kangin did made Eeteuk smile. A lot of things that shouldn't have. And somewhere along the line Eeteuk stopped thinking of Kangin as the guy he was supposed to be guarding and started thinking of Kangin as a friend.
Eventually Eeteuk stopped doing most of the job he should have been doing, for one reason or another. Kangin wasn't as careless and he was less prone to dangerous situations. Eeteuk wasn't sure if he should have taken the credit for that. He thought that after all the time he had been watching Kangin and guarding him, that it was showing himself to Kangin that had finally done the trick. If he had even done it on purpose. Maybe Heechul was right and Kangin could just see things like him. Eeteuk still wasn't sure.
The problem for Eeteuk was that if Kangin changed, then his job was done. He didn't want to leave Kangin then or ever. He didn't want to be someone else's guardian angel and make someone else special. Eeteuk wanted to continue to laugh with Kangin and have Kangin look at him and smile at him and so many other things. What Eeteuk really wanted--
"I," said Eeteuk quietly, looking around the room to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation, though he knew no one around even could. "Like him. I really, really like him. A lot."
"Well that's good. You'd make a terrible angel if you hated the person you were watching, and you really don't need anything else to make you bad at what you do," said Heechul.
"That's not what I meant. Also, again, thank you for having such faith in me. It's good to know I have caring friends like you."
"I do what I can," replied Heechul. "And I know what you mean. Are you sure about that? Eeteuk, it can't...you can't..." He sighed. "I'm not very helpful with these emotional things, but my advice to you is to stop being an idiot and just do what you've been assigned to do. For cosmic balance or whatever it is you are always going on about."
"It's not that simple," said Eeteuk, resting his head on the table and staring up at Heechul pitifully. "I think I want something else."
"You shouldn't talk like that. Just finish what you started and move on." Heechul looked around the room. "Where is Kangin, anyway? You only come here when he does and if he's not here why aren't we meeting at a better bar?"
"He's sleeping because he has to work in the morning," Eeteuk mumbled, face pressed against the wood of the table.
"Huh," said Heechul. "You really have changed him. That's kind of surprising, actually."
Eeteuk slowly got up. "I think I'm going to go back," he said and Heechul nodded.
Heaven was undeniably beautiful. It was without a doubt Eeteuk's most beloved place in all of existence and the moment Eeteuk was back there, he knew exactly what he wanted more than anything. It was the easiest decision he had ever made.
Suddenly Eeteuk felt as if he was freefalling and also just a little like he had been punched in the gut. It hurt and he was terrified. He opened his eyes, wide, and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Ow," he gasped out. He took a moment to collect himself and to take in his surroundings. All he could see was snow and trees and he sincerely hoped he was in the right city, at least. A little further away he could see a small playground, full of kids, and he recognized it as one he'd seen before.
"Okay," he said, then coughed because talking and breathing was hard and as he tried to stand up, he discovered that walking was kind of difficult, as well. Also, he was freezing.
It was nearly an hour before Eeteuk found his way to Kangin's apartment. There were people everywhere on the streets and he'd never had to avoid them before. Then he had to walk and breathe in tandem and he'd only barely managed to get the hang of that. And there was just so much noise and so many lights and Eeteuk was still very cold.
"Hello," Eeteuk said when Kangin opened his door.
"Hello," Kangin replied, glancing over Eeteuk curiously. "You have a twig in your hair," he said.
Eeteuk curled his fingers in Kangin's shirt and pulled him forward. "I really--" But Kangin cut him off by kissing him softly and dragging Eeteuk into his apartment. Eventually Eeteuk got the hang of kissing and breathing, too.
After a week, Eeteuk finally figured he had a handle on most of the basics of being human. Kangin spent a lot of time worrying about Eeteuk and watching him to make sure he wasn't going to kill himself trying to shower or eat and do any of the things Kangin probably did without even thinking about. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Eeteuk, but he didn't care. Somehow they made it work.
There were so many things he had yet to experience and Kangin had promised to show him them all. They would do it together and Eeteuk decided he was the luckiest person on Earth. In fact--
"Heechul," Eeteuk called out. He was sat at their usual table in the back of the bar he'd almost forgotten about. "I know you're here, Heechul. Just because I can't see you, doesn't mean you can ignore me."
"Yes it does," Heechul said. Eeteuk could only barely manage to make out Heechul's figure sitting across from him. "I can't believe you did that. They will never let you back, Eeteuk. You idiot."
"I'm sorry," said Eeteuk.
"Don't be. I don't understand why, but..." Heechul sighed. "Anyway, I've decided I'm going to keep an eye on you two to make sure you live long and healthy and likely very boring lives."
"But you're not--"
"That's what friends are for," Heechul cut in. "Besides, from what you've told me about Kangin he's pretty stupid, and you are obviously no better. You both are going to need me."
"Thank you," Eeteuk said, smiling at Heechul.
"Whatever. I just hope you know what you're doing." Then Heechul was gone completely from all of Eeteuk's senses.
Truthfully, he really had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, but in his entire existence, Eeteuk had never felt as happy or as alive as he did then. He figured that was partly to blame on the fact that he hadn't really been alive until recently. Kangin agreed, but added that he also had that effect on people so of course Eeteuk would feel that way. Kangin, for all he faults, was precisely what Eeteuk wanted.
theme: 001. freefall; 002/100; archive
Eeteuk/Kangin
humor and drama
i meant for this to be completely different.
Not that Eeteuk was getting paid but, he thought, there wasn't enough money in Heaven or on Earth to make his job worth it. For a guardian angel Eeteuk was terribly discontent. His charge, Kim Youngwoon -- better known as Kangin to his friends, enemies, and the occasional debt collector --, was enough to give even the divine heart palpitations. For someone who didn't actually have a death wish, Kangin sure as hell lived like he did.
Kangin drank and he smoked and he gambled and he borrowed a lot of money from people he had no business borrowing money from. Stress was a foreign concept to most angels, but Eeteuk had always been special. Kangin made him a nervous wreck more often than not. Especially when, like that morning, he had climbed out of the bedroom window of a women only seconds before her husband had walked through the door. At that point there had been little Eeteuk could do other than to make sure Kangin didn't break his neck getting to the ground.
But then Kangin would do things like help old grandmothers cross the street, or offer to help his neighbors carry their new sofa up to their apartment, and then he would set out food for the stray cat that roamed in front of the building and--
"It's like he's an entirely different person and he's just so good with children and I--"
"Enough!" Heechul shouted. "You're supposed to guard this guy, not...whatever it is you're making me suffer through." He reached over to grab two drinks off the table next to theirs before anyone noticed they'd been set down. "Here," he said, passing the glass filled with some dark liquid to Eeteuk and keeping the pink fruity drink for himself.
Eeteuk picked up his glass and took a large gulp of whatever it was he'd been given. He couldn't taste it and it wouldn't get him drunk, but it was a nice momentary distraction for both of them, but mostly Heechul.
"Considering what our average lifespan is, you'd think that we'd at least be able to get drunk once in a while," said Heechul. "You know, to take the edge off of eternity."
Eeteuk sighed wearily. He'd heard it all before. "Oh no," he said suddenly, looking around the room. "Where's Kangin?" He stood up, pushing his chair back -- glad that even that would go almost completely unnoticed by the people at the bar -- and scanned the room again. "Oh no," he repeated. "He's gone. Kangin's gone. I've lost Kangin."
Heechul rolled his eyes. "Relax. He was here a minute ago. How much trouble could he possibly-- you should probably go find him."
In the amount of time it had taken Eeteuk to realize Kangin had left the bar, to the moment he ran through the door after him, all manner of things had run through Eeteuk's mind. Kangin could have crossed the street before the light had changed because he was too drunk to think about what he was doing and been flattened by an oncoming truck, or he could have drowned in the ocean because he'd decided to take a stroll along the beach, or any number of other things Eeteuk could think of. Some half-formed ideas involved fires, birds of prey, and young miscreants. He hadn't been following Kangin all that long, by his own standards of time, but he cared a lot about him anyway. Though Eeteuk worried about Kangin even more.
But as he stood outside, unable to feel the cold that had the people walking along the streets huddled together or wrapped tightly in their winter coats, he saw Kangin leaning against the side of the building, trying to light his cigarette. He breathed in and out calmly, mostly in relief but also in mild frustration.
"It would be so poetic if, after all the stress you've given me, you die of lung cancer," said Eeteuk as he walked over to where Kangin was standing. "You do know those can kill you, right? It says so right on the box. I'm an angel, I know these things."
Kangin sighed in annoyance, threw his cigarette to the ground, then turned toward Eeteuk. "I should probably quit," he said.
Eeteuk blinked because he couldn't be seen or heard. He knew he couldn't. But if it hadn't been for the way that Kangin had looked past him instead of at him, he'd almost have thought Kangin had known he was there.
Sometimes Kangin was extremely perceptive, despite his usual aloof attitude toward most things in his life. And sometimes Eeteuk was afraid that maybe he had gotten too close or pushed to hard. On those days that Kangin acted differently than what was normal for him, before Eeteuk had a chance to guide him between one path and another, Eeteuk would be so sure that his own influence was too strong. He knew he spent more time around Kangin than what was absolutely necessary.
Despite how Kangin made Eeteuk want to get down on his knees and pray for both of their souls every time Kangin even left his apartment, Eeteuk really like him. He liked watching Kangin, protecting Kangin, even worrying about Kangin -- though he would never, ever give Heechul the satisfaction of knowing he was right about that.
When those brief moments came where Kangin listened to Eeteuk, when Eeteuk hadn't meant for Kangin to hear him, it made Eeteuk almost happy. He had, at times, taken to quietly talking about useless, silly things to Kangin, though it was entirely a one-sided conversation. Except--
"Yesterday wasn't even the first time it had happened, either! Am I crazy? Can angels lose their mind?" asked Eeteuk.
Heechul pulled the tiny plastic sword out from his drink, and stabbed it into one of the many balled up napkins on their table. "You are definitely crazy," he said. "But that doesn't mean you're still invisible to Kangin."
Eeteuk stared curiously at Heechul.
"If you want to be seen, you can be," Heechul elaborated. "Usually it's intentional, though, so I don't know about your situation. Maybe Kangin has some kind of supernatural ability to see heavenly beings. There are people who claim they can see ghosts. It could be like that except, you know, real." He stirred his drink with his finger and laughed to himself. Eeteuk thought that Heechul shouldn't be allowed to judge other people for being crazy.
He shifted to get a better look at Kangin on the other side of the bar. So far Kangin had drank less than he usually did and hadn't said anything inappropriate to anyone. It was nice and calm and-- "That's not good."
Heechul looked up at him curiously. "What? Is it interesting?"
"That guy over there," Eeteuk said, pointing at the far corner where a man was sat, watching Kangin. "About a week ago he and Kangin got into a fight when that guy was harassing one of the girls who Kangin works with."
"Do you think they're going to fight again? That guy looks big, but I think Kangin could take him on."
"What? Heechul," Eeteuk admonished.
"Fine," said Heechul. "You're no fun; I should know that by now. Anyway, you might want to do something about the big guy soon." He tilted his head in the direction of the man who was starting to stand up, and still staring at Kangin darkly.
Without thinking, Eeteuk ran over and pushed the man's drink into his lap, effectively distracting him from whatever his course had been. It went completely against protocol and Eeteuk knew that was likely a very stupid move, but it was still a little fun. After that he made his way over to Kangin and pushed, pulled, and suggested to him that perhaps now would be a good time to leave.
With less effort than Eeteuk was used to, Kangin was up and out the door, heading back to his apartment. It was snowing lightly outside and he could see puffs of air as Kangin exhaled. "You should have brought a scarf," said Eeteuk. "And worn a better jacket. It'll be bad if you catch a cold."
Kangin stopped walking and turned around. He blinked a few times, like he was trying to focus his eyes, then he took a step forward. "I was going to wear a scarf this morning," he said, "but I forgot when I realized I was late for work."
Eeteuk didn't know how to respond, didn't know what to do, didn't know much of anything at all because suspecting and thinking and sometimes wanting were entirely different from having and--
"If you're going to keep following me, could you walk next to me instead of behind me, at least? It's less creepy that way," Kangin added.
Eeteuk nodded once, and then moved into position on Kangin's left. He was just the tiniest bit closer than he should have been, he noticed too late. He wasn't used to interacting with people, but Kangin didn't appear to be bothered. They walked together for a while without either of them speaking. Eeteuk kept looking around because, while what he was doing wasn't against the rules in so many words, it was frowned upon and he expected to get reprimanded at any moment. Such a thing coming from Heaven was truly awe-inspiring.
"So are you a spirit or something? Are you haunting me?" asked Kangin as they entered his home and he removed his shoes and placed his jacket over the back of a chair.
"I'm an angel," Eeteuk clarified. "I'm your guardian. I keep you out of trouble and away from anything dangerous."
Kangin folded his arms over his chest and looked at Eeteuk skeptically.
"Look, I'm doing the best I can! You're a very difficult person to work with," Eeteuk said defensively.
Kangin tilted his head back and laughed warm and bright and Eeteuk loved his smile. Kangin, Eeteuk knew, smiled a lot. He was kind and friendly and occasionally very, very dense and made very, very bad decisions. But he was happy and that made Eeteuk happy in some odd way.
Especially when Kangin talked with Eeteuk and joked with him and told Eeteuk things that he already knew but liked hearing again anyway. It wasn't unheard of for a human to find out about the existence of angels, it just didn't happen all that often. Not in so long, in fact, that Eeteuk couldn't even remember exactly when such a things had last occurred. What he did remember was something he'd rather not remember at all.
But Eeteuk assured himself that he was different. There was a difference between friendship and a job that he had to do. A job that he wanted to do. Eeteuk was professional and detached and...he cared for Kangin a lot. So much that sometimes--
"He can see me and hear me and he knows what I am!" Eeteuk said in his most panicked tone of voice. "Are you even listening?"
Heechul looked off to the side, frowning. "You still haven't thanked me for taking care of that guy from yesterday," he said.
"What?" asked Eeteuk. "You. What. Heechul, you didn't--"
Heechul grinned. "I'll take that as your thanks. Now what were you saying about Kangin? He knows about you now?" He tapped his straw against his lips while he thought. "It really isn't a big problem, as long as you don't do anything stupid. I know it'll be hard for you to resist, but I think you can do it."
"I'm glad you have so much confidence in me," replied Eeteuk dryly.
"Don't think about it too hard," said Heechul. "Sometimes these things just turn out this way and there isn't anything you can do about it. Unless you want to transfer; have someone else look after Kangin. Or maybe he can handle his own life now. You can't babysit him forever."
"No," Eeteuk said. "That's not what I want. And I'm not a babysitter! How many times do I have to remind you that what I do is very vital to the continued balance of--"
"Oh look at that, Kangin just came out of the bathroom and is heading this way. It's best I leave now," said Heechul, already standing up.
"Hey," said Kangin, walking over to Eeteuk just as Heechul left. "Let's get out of here. It's not every day I get my own angel to hang out with." Kangin paused. "Or, I guess it is. How long have you been following me?"
"Almost a year," Eeteuk answered. They made their way outside, where it had stopped snowing earlier and the city was covered in white and the snow and ice crunched beneath Kangin's feet. "Most people don't have guardian angels, just so you know."
Kangin smiled. "I always knew I was special."
Eeteuk snorted and rolled his eyes. "Yes, exactly. Special. Not foolish or hotheaded or so reckless that even the higher-ups in heaven took notice. None of those, just special."
Kangin grinned. "I know," he said, wrapping his arm around Eeteuk's shoulders. Eeteuk couldn't feel the weight of Kangin's arm on him or the warmth from Kangin's body, but he thought it was nice. He liked it, whatever it was.
"I feel I should tell you that the reason people are looking at you strangely is because, while you can see me, to everyone else you appear to be walking alone. I can't say for sure, but you probably look like a bit deranged," Eeteuk said.
"I'm okay with that," said Kangin. He used his free arm to wave at a man who glanced at him curiously as he spoke to Eeteuk. "This is kind of fun. Though it does make me wonder if maybe I have lost my mind and you're only in my head. They could be looking at me like I'm insane, because I am." He sounded thoughtful. "But I think that even if you aren't real, you're still my favorite imaginary friend."
It was a weird, thought Eeteuk, how even the dumbest things Kangin could think of to say still made him smile. A lot of things Kangin did made Eeteuk smile. A lot of things that shouldn't have. And somewhere along the line Eeteuk stopped thinking of Kangin as the guy he was supposed to be guarding and started thinking of Kangin as a friend.
Eventually Eeteuk stopped doing most of the job he should have been doing, for one reason or another. Kangin wasn't as careless and he was less prone to dangerous situations. Eeteuk wasn't sure if he should have taken the credit for that. He thought that after all the time he had been watching Kangin and guarding him, that it was showing himself to Kangin that had finally done the trick. If he had even done it on purpose. Maybe Heechul was right and Kangin could just see things like him. Eeteuk still wasn't sure.
The problem for Eeteuk was that if Kangin changed, then his job was done. He didn't want to leave Kangin then or ever. He didn't want to be someone else's guardian angel and make someone else special. Eeteuk wanted to continue to laugh with Kangin and have Kangin look at him and smile at him and so many other things. What Eeteuk really wanted--
"I," said Eeteuk quietly, looking around the room to make sure no one was eavesdropping on their conversation, though he knew no one around even could. "Like him. I really, really like him. A lot."
"Well that's good. You'd make a terrible angel if you hated the person you were watching, and you really don't need anything else to make you bad at what you do," said Heechul.
"That's not what I meant. Also, again, thank you for having such faith in me. It's good to know I have caring friends like you."
"I do what I can," replied Heechul. "And I know what you mean. Are you sure about that? Eeteuk, it can't...you can't..." He sighed. "I'm not very helpful with these emotional things, but my advice to you is to stop being an idiot and just do what you've been assigned to do. For cosmic balance or whatever it is you are always going on about."
"It's not that simple," said Eeteuk, resting his head on the table and staring up at Heechul pitifully. "I think I want something else."
"You shouldn't talk like that. Just finish what you started and move on." Heechul looked around the room. "Where is Kangin, anyway? You only come here when he does and if he's not here why aren't we meeting at a better bar?"
"He's sleeping because he has to work in the morning," Eeteuk mumbled, face pressed against the wood of the table.
"Huh," said Heechul. "You really have changed him. That's kind of surprising, actually."
Eeteuk slowly got up. "I think I'm going to go back," he said and Heechul nodded.
Heaven was undeniably beautiful. It was without a doubt Eeteuk's most beloved place in all of existence and the moment Eeteuk was back there, he knew exactly what he wanted more than anything. It was the easiest decision he had ever made.
Suddenly Eeteuk felt as if he was freefalling and also just a little like he had been punched in the gut. It hurt and he was terrified. He opened his eyes, wide, and took a deep, shuddering breath. "Ow," he gasped out. He took a moment to collect himself and to take in his surroundings. All he could see was snow and trees and he sincerely hoped he was in the right city, at least. A little further away he could see a small playground, full of kids, and he recognized it as one he'd seen before.
"Okay," he said, then coughed because talking and breathing was hard and as he tried to stand up, he discovered that walking was kind of difficult, as well. Also, he was freezing.
It was nearly an hour before Eeteuk found his way to Kangin's apartment. There were people everywhere on the streets and he'd never had to avoid them before. Then he had to walk and breathe in tandem and he'd only barely managed to get the hang of that. And there was just so much noise and so many lights and Eeteuk was still very cold.
"Hello," Eeteuk said when Kangin opened his door.
"Hello," Kangin replied, glancing over Eeteuk curiously. "You have a twig in your hair," he said.
Eeteuk curled his fingers in Kangin's shirt and pulled him forward. "I really--" But Kangin cut him off by kissing him softly and dragging Eeteuk into his apartment. Eventually Eeteuk got the hang of kissing and breathing, too.
After a week, Eeteuk finally figured he had a handle on most of the basics of being human. Kangin spent a lot of time worrying about Eeteuk and watching him to make sure he wasn't going to kill himself trying to shower or eat and do any of the things Kangin probably did without even thinking about. The irony of the situation wasn't lost on Eeteuk, but he didn't care. Somehow they made it work.
There were so many things he had yet to experience and Kangin had promised to show him them all. They would do it together and Eeteuk decided he was the luckiest person on Earth. In fact--
"Heechul," Eeteuk called out. He was sat at their usual table in the back of the bar he'd almost forgotten about. "I know you're here, Heechul. Just because I can't see you, doesn't mean you can ignore me."
"Yes it does," Heechul said. Eeteuk could only barely manage to make out Heechul's figure sitting across from him. "I can't believe you did that. They will never let you back, Eeteuk. You idiot."
"I'm sorry," said Eeteuk.
"Don't be. I don't understand why, but..." Heechul sighed. "Anyway, I've decided I'm going to keep an eye on you two to make sure you live long and healthy and likely very boring lives."
"But you're not--"
"That's what friends are for," Heechul cut in. "Besides, from what you've told me about Kangin he's pretty stupid, and you are obviously no better. You both are going to need me."
"Thank you," Eeteuk said, smiling at Heechul.
"Whatever. I just hope you know what you're doing." Then Heechul was gone completely from all of Eeteuk's senses.
Truthfully, he really had no idea what he'd gotten himself into, but in his entire existence, Eeteuk had never felt as happy or as alive as he did then. He figured that was partly to blame on the fact that he hadn't really been alive until recently. Kangin agreed, but added that he also had that effect on people so of course Eeteuk would feel that way. Kangin, for all he faults, was precisely what Eeteuk wanted.