on_thecouch | 37.5. Reluctant
37.5. Reluctant (from Week 30)
Riley tried to stifle a loud, wide yawn as he dragged his bedroom blinds closed to shut out the bright morning light. It had been a hectic nightshift on the ICU and he had been looking forward to crawling into bed since he clocked off at 7.30am. He could hardly even remember having a shower and shave, having just gone through the routine without thinking about it. He and Evie were now completely settled in the new house, but it was a lot bigger than his apartment had been and it was taking some getting used to (he had woken up in the middle of the day after nightshift on three occasions and ended up in the linen press rather than the bathroom when he needed a pee).
He was just pulling the warm covers on his bed back to climb in when he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Evie was at work, Tab and Luke were out meeting with Aiden about the new bar or something, meaning Riley was home alone. He groaned loudly, shoulders slumping as he looked tiredly down at his bed. “Bollocks…” he mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his face. He contemplated not getting it, but the standard ‘it might be important’ notion niggled away at him. He lethargically pulled on a pair of grey trackpants over his boxers and made his way down stairs to get the door.
He hadn’t really been sure who he was expecting… probably Lachlan or Tara, maybe Tab or Luke with lost keys. He certainly hadn’t been expecting his father to be standing there, especially not on account of the fact he hadn’t even remembered to tell his parents his new address. He blinked tiredly, trying to coordinate his brain to speak. “Dad…” he managed, not even sure what else he should say. Their last conversation had been abysmal with Riley telling his father he didn’t want anything more to do with him as long as he was still trapped under the thumb of their overbearing and disapproving mother.
“Son,” Mr Browne murmured, his dark eyes quickly brushing over Riley’s form. “Did I… are you ill? Is it the…?”
Riley sighed and put his hand up to his forehead, pushing it further back to rake his fingers through his curly hair that was very similar to his father’s. “No, I just worked last night. I’m not long home. Do you need something? How did you even know my new address?” He couldn’t dilute the accusatory edge that crept into his tone, nor could he stop himself looking beyond his father up the drive to see if his mother was along for the ride.
“I’m alone,” Mr Browne admitted, guessing what his son’s demeanour was meaning. A faint smiled appeared on his lips. “You always were a hard-worker, son. How is the ER going?” He paused with a small clear of his throat. “I went to your old apartment and they told me you had moved to this street. I just took my chances and drove down here, saw your car in the drive. Do you own the house, son? It’s nice. The street is very pleasant…”
Riley had to actually contemplate whether he wanted to let his father in or not, but he soon stepped aside and gestured into the foyer for his father to follow. “Yeah, I own it. My best pal lives just up the road. Most of Princeton is nice. You would probably know that if you were here more,” he added calmly and went into the living room. He sunk down into one of the armchairs, watching as his father came in behind him and took the sofa awkwardly. “I’m not in the ER, I’m in the ICU.”
“Is this the Scottish lad?” Mr Browne asked and he looked around the room. “You’re doing really well for yourself, son. I’m proud of you. I thought you really enjoyed emergency medicine but I do remember how well you did in intensive care.”
Riley drew his lip in between his teeth and bit down on it to stay calm. “Yeah, Lachlan. Mum’s favourite celeb for getting shot and nearly killed.” He stopped, swallowing back a spike of irritation. “I bought the house with the compensation payout I received from ending up HIV Positive on the job, which I got from being stabbed by a patient in the ER. I’m in the ICU because I’m terrified of working in Emergency Medicine now and I may never go back to the specialty I once loved. Yeah, Dad. I’m doing real well for myself. How was your year? Any New Year’s resolutions? To remember your kids’ names, maybe? Do you even remember you have twins? That I have a sister?”
Mr Browne visibly winced at Riley’s abrupt change in tone, but it was all well-deserved. “I left your mother,” he finally revealed. “I’m living in an apartment on the Upper West Side and on Monday, I’m filing for a divorce. That’s why I’m here. I want to try and heal some old wounds with you and Tab. It’s well overdue. It should never have come to this, son. You and Tabitha should have been my priority from day one and I tried, but I got lost, son.”
Riley stared at his father in shock, his mouth hanging open. Those words were something he had never in his whole life expected to hear coming out of his father’s mouth. “I…” he tried, but nothing more came out.
“I would have come sooner,” Mr Browne began to explain, wringing his hands in front of him, “but I wanted to find my feet alone before I did so I could show you I was serious. I left your mother just before Christmas. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much and I’ll understand if you or your sister don’t want anything to do with me, but I’m here, son. I want to try if you’ll let me.”
“I… um…” Riley stammered a rubbed his hand over his mouth, stunned. He shook his head. “I-I don’t know what you want me to say, Dad. Do you realise how much you’ve missed? Do you realised you’ve missed things you won’t ever get back?”
Mr Browne’s forehead creased. “I suspected that might be the case,” he admitted quietly. “I know it’s going to be really hard and uncomfortable, but I miss you both so much. I’ve been a terrible father. I haven’t stopped thinking about either of you since I saw you in New York that day.”
“Do you know what I was doing in New York that day, Dad?” Riley murmured sadly. “I was buying my girlfriend an engagement ring.”
It was Mr Browne’s turn to gape and then he paled slightly. “I’m so sorry, Riley.”
Riley just leaned forward and stared at his feet. It wasn’t his place to lay even more news in his father’s lap that Tab was getting married, too. That was Tab’s news to tell. He let out a slow breath, feeling more tired now than he had done all week. “It’s alright, Dad…” he mumbled. “It’ll be alright.”
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,189
Riley tried to stifle a loud, wide yawn as he dragged his bedroom blinds closed to shut out the bright morning light. It had been a hectic nightshift on the ICU and he had been looking forward to crawling into bed since he clocked off at 7.30am. He could hardly even remember having a shower and shave, having just gone through the routine without thinking about it. He and Evie were now completely settled in the new house, but it was a lot bigger than his apartment had been and it was taking some getting used to (he had woken up in the middle of the day after nightshift on three occasions and ended up in the linen press rather than the bathroom when he needed a pee).
He was just pulling the warm covers on his bed back to climb in when he heard the doorbell ring downstairs. Evie was at work, Tab and Luke were out meeting with Aiden about the new bar or something, meaning Riley was home alone. He groaned loudly, shoulders slumping as he looked tiredly down at his bed. “Bollocks…” he mumbled, scrubbing a hand over his face. He contemplated not getting it, but the standard ‘it might be important’ notion niggled away at him. He lethargically pulled on a pair of grey trackpants over his boxers and made his way down stairs to get the door.
He hadn’t really been sure who he was expecting… probably Lachlan or Tara, maybe Tab or Luke with lost keys. He certainly hadn’t been expecting his father to be standing there, especially not on account of the fact he hadn’t even remembered to tell his parents his new address. He blinked tiredly, trying to coordinate his brain to speak. “Dad…” he managed, not even sure what else he should say. Their last conversation had been abysmal with Riley telling his father he didn’t want anything more to do with him as long as he was still trapped under the thumb of their overbearing and disapproving mother.
“Son,” Mr Browne murmured, his dark eyes quickly brushing over Riley’s form. “Did I… are you ill? Is it the…?”
Riley sighed and put his hand up to his forehead, pushing it further back to rake his fingers through his curly hair that was very similar to his father’s. “No, I just worked last night. I’m not long home. Do you need something? How did you even know my new address?” He couldn’t dilute the accusatory edge that crept into his tone, nor could he stop himself looking beyond his father up the drive to see if his mother was along for the ride.
“I’m alone,” Mr Browne admitted, guessing what his son’s demeanour was meaning. A faint smiled appeared on his lips. “You always were a hard-worker, son. How is the ER going?” He paused with a small clear of his throat. “I went to your old apartment and they told me you had moved to this street. I just took my chances and drove down here, saw your car in the drive. Do you own the house, son? It’s nice. The street is very pleasant…”
Riley had to actually contemplate whether he wanted to let his father in or not, but he soon stepped aside and gestured into the foyer for his father to follow. “Yeah, I own it. My best pal lives just up the road. Most of Princeton is nice. You would probably know that if you were here more,” he added calmly and went into the living room. He sunk down into one of the armchairs, watching as his father came in behind him and took the sofa awkwardly. “I’m not in the ER, I’m in the ICU.”
“Is this the Scottish lad?” Mr Browne asked and he looked around the room. “You’re doing really well for yourself, son. I’m proud of you. I thought you really enjoyed emergency medicine but I do remember how well you did in intensive care.”
Riley drew his lip in between his teeth and bit down on it to stay calm. “Yeah, Lachlan. Mum’s favourite celeb for getting shot and nearly killed.” He stopped, swallowing back a spike of irritation. “I bought the house with the compensation payout I received from ending up HIV Positive on the job, which I got from being stabbed by a patient in the ER. I’m in the ICU because I’m terrified of working in Emergency Medicine now and I may never go back to the specialty I once loved. Yeah, Dad. I’m doing real well for myself. How was your year? Any New Year’s resolutions? To remember your kids’ names, maybe? Do you even remember you have twins? That I have a sister?”
Mr Browne visibly winced at Riley’s abrupt change in tone, but it was all well-deserved. “I left your mother,” he finally revealed. “I’m living in an apartment on the Upper West Side and on Monday, I’m filing for a divorce. That’s why I’m here. I want to try and heal some old wounds with you and Tab. It’s well overdue. It should never have come to this, son. You and Tabitha should have been my priority from day one and I tried, but I got lost, son.”
Riley stared at his father in shock, his mouth hanging open. Those words were something he had never in his whole life expected to hear coming out of his father’s mouth. “I…” he tried, but nothing more came out.
“I would have come sooner,” Mr Browne began to explain, wringing his hands in front of him, “but I wanted to find my feet alone before I did so I could show you I was serious. I left your mother just before Christmas. I feel like I’ve missed out on so much and I’ll understand if you or your sister don’t want anything to do with me, but I’m here, son. I want to try if you’ll let me.”
“I… um…” Riley stammered a rubbed his hand over his mouth, stunned. He shook his head. “I-I don’t know what you want me to say, Dad. Do you realise how much you’ve missed? Do you realised you’ve missed things you won’t ever get back?”
Mr Browne’s forehead creased. “I suspected that might be the case,” he admitted quietly. “I know it’s going to be really hard and uncomfortable, but I miss you both so much. I’ve been a terrible father. I haven’t stopped thinking about either of you since I saw you in New York that day.”
“Do you know what I was doing in New York that day, Dad?” Riley murmured sadly. “I was buying my girlfriend an engagement ring.”
It was Mr Browne’s turn to gape and then he paled slightly. “I’m so sorry, Riley.”
Riley just leaned forward and stared at his feet. It wasn’t his place to lay even more news in his father’s lap that Tab was getting married, too. That was Tab’s news to tell. He let out a slow breath, feeling more tired now than he had done all week. “It’s alright, Dad…” he mumbled. “It’ll be alright.”
All muses referenced with permission and are from the princeton2nyc universe
Word Count | 1,189