muses_w_remotes | 6.13. Two and a Half Men
6.13. "Help me Charlie, I wanna sing for no reason."
| Two and a Half Men
The choice of another night out at Luke’s bar that Saturday night had been a good one. It was like a small school reunion and Riley couldn’t help but enjoy himself, even if he was missing Evie. There were general patrons, but their group had about claimed the bar for themselves that night, meaning it had been a colourful night, to say the least.
It was half-time in the band’s performance, which usually led to an impromptu Karaoke session for people just wanting to get up and have a good time. Up on the stage, Pat, adorned in tight leather pants with a pink spandex top and glitter in his hair, was at the microphone belting out a rather perfect rendition of RESPECT, with Jules joining in with the back-up vocals. Benny, of course, was offering the drums for rhythm while having ample opportunity to perve on Jules, whose arse was in his direct line of sight. Lachlan and Tara were sitting at a table right in front of the stage, Tara draped happily across Lachlan’s lap while he moved underneath her to the music, mouthing the words along with Pat. Tara was giggling, barely managing not to splash her orange juice down the front of Lachlan’s shirt. Chase and Rogue were sitting with them, Chase gesturing animatedly at something before the newlyweds burst out laughing together. Then off to the side of the stage, Tab and Luke were wrapped up in a tight embrace, snogging each other as if their life’s breath depended on it. Keiran had disappeared out the back with his cell phone and bottle of water at the start of the break, so Riley didn’t get a chance to introduce him to Beth at that point.
Riley excused himself to make a quick retreat to the men’s room. At least, that had been the plan until Lachlan suddenly took the stage and Riley balked at the edge of the dance floor, mouth dropping open. Tara and Pat appeared beside him, Pat linking his arm through Riley’s. “I hope you have your camera, darling! Do you know how much I’ve worn my tongue out trying to get him up there tonight?” Pat said with an elaborate hand gesture.
Riley snorted and turned to Pat with a smirk. “You say that too loud and he’ll whack you with his haggis.”
Pat pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “Oh, I wish he would, darling. I’ve been trying to turn him for years,” he sighed dramatically and then winked teasingly at Tara. “We could share, darling.” He wrapped his arm around her and pressed a smooch to her cheek.
Tara was fanning herself. “If he sings in front of this crowd, I’ll cry. Just thought I should warn you all.” Then she promptly burst in to tears before Lachlan even made it to the microphone. He was standing with Luke and Tab on the stage, looping a guitar strap over his head and clutching the instrument with ease. It didn’t look like one of Tab’s, but there were enough musicians around, so it could’ve been anyone’s.
“What’s he singing?” Riley asked in awe.
Pat shrugged and proffered some tissues to Tara that he’d plucked from the side pocket of her handbag. “He wouldn’t say. We’ve been bombarding him with requests all night to see if anything would spark him. We didn’t think he was going to fold again, but then he just downed his coke and said he’d be right back. Next thing we know he’s up there seeking out an instrument.”
Riley watched Tab help Lachlan adjust the guitar strap while Luke was gesturing across the stage, likely explaining the technicalities of the sound system and acoustics of the bar. Things that would go completely over Riley’s head if he’d been listening. Lachlan stepped up to the microphone and discreetly adjusted it to his height with a small smirk in Tab’s direction. He gave it a small tap, and had the bar’s attention. Clearly, he was an unfamiliar face on stage, so people were waiting to see what he would offer. “Okay, I’m here under dire sufferance, so if I keel over, it’s nay my fault but there are enough doctors in the house tonight to offer CPR,” he joked. “For those of you who dinnae know me, my name’s Lachlan and I played with a band for many years over in Scotland. Recently, I havenae had the best of my music mojo, but tonight I have a wee bit of a message for a dear friend of mine. Riley, this one’s for you, buddy.” He started to softly play the acoustics of ‘Everybody Hurts’ by REM, easing smoothly into the vocals like he’d never once missed a beat with his music.
Riley, who’d been chewing his nail and waiting for Lachlan to start belting out a power ballad love song for his wife, froze when he heard the familiar song. His heart started to thump in his chest and he felt a heat wash over him. It felt like all eyes were on him, but only their circle knew he was ‘Riley’. Pat’s arm snaked around his waist and Riley was grateful for that because he knew the words of the song were so painfully accurate for him right then that he wasn’t sure if could hold himself up through the impact of them. Hearing Lachlan sing to a crowd again came with enough enormity, but to know he was singing for him had Riley’s heart up in his throat and tears prickling his eyes.
Riley hugged one arm around himself and put his other hand up to catch the tears with his fingers as they spilled over. The rest of the song mostly passed by in a blur for him. He caught Lachlan wink at him during the last vocals and by this time, Tara was sharing out her tissue supply. Pat kissed Riley on the temple as Lachlan changed the pace, blowing a kiss at Tara as he started to sing ‘Simply the Best’ just like she had to him on their wedding night. Tara took Riley’s tissue from his hand, tore it in half and gave him one half back as her own tears continued in earnest.
Riley laughed tearfully, dabbing away the dampness from his eyes as he glanced at Pat. “I’m scared to think what you’ve requested of him,” he said.
“I didn’t think he’d sing ‘Dancing Queen’ for me, so I told him to go with ‘Evil Scotsman,” Pat admitted. “Not for the faint-hearted, but I figured there was a chance he’d do it just because I basically passively double-dared him to. Or-” He stopped as Lachlan transferred right from the Tina Turner number into ‘Let me Entertain You’ by Robbie Williams. In the meantime, he’d thrown the guitar over his back and was standing up at the piano, playing the first chords of the song, his musical talents more than evident. Pat threw up his hands. “Or Robbie Williams, because I thought it would be too fast-paced and out there for him to sing in front of a crowd this large. The bitch. I should’ve dared him with Gloria again. He’s had that look on his face all night, I should’ve known. You know the one. The ‘I’m smiling at you but there is no one you’re getting to know what I’m really thinking’.”
“Oh, you’re right. Never tell him he can’t do something,” Riley laughed as Lachlan belted out the song without missing a beat. Luke had taken over the lighting and there was now an array of colourful strobing lights on the stage to meet the pace of Lachlan’s singing. “The bastard makes me want to strangle him and hug him all at the same time.”
Robbie was faded out and Lachlan went back to the microphone in the middle of the stage, guitar back in place. “Patrick Preston’s to blame for this one!” he declared, pointing at Pat elaborately. With a devious smirk, he started belting out the rude and crude ‘Evil Scotsman’, his broad accent only emphasising the tongue-in-cheek hilarity of the song.
Riley couldn’t help it; as Lachlan’s Scottish accent reached ‘ten inch cock’ he burst out laughing, tears coming again though for a much better reason this time. He soon met Tab’s gaze, realising she was trying to check he was okay in the wake of Lachlan’s song. He smiled at his sister and gave her a thumbs up, then blew her a kiss. He was okay. In fact, right now, he was feeling really great and couldn’t wait to tell Evie all about it.
Lachlan Campbell [drcampbell], Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara], Tabitha Browne [asinthecity], Luke Jackson [notskywalker], Patrick Preston [sexyinscrubs], Beth Anderson [phtgrphcscot], Robert Chase [chasemd], Rogue [justalilcontact], Keiran Fitzpatrick [dublinbass], Jules Bailey [naughtynrse] & Benny Taylor [prvdsrhythm] all referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,444
| Two and a Half Men
The choice of another night out at Luke’s bar that Saturday night had been a good one. It was like a small school reunion and Riley couldn’t help but enjoy himself, even if he was missing Evie. There were general patrons, but their group had about claimed the bar for themselves that night, meaning it had been a colourful night, to say the least.
It was half-time in the band’s performance, which usually led to an impromptu Karaoke session for people just wanting to get up and have a good time. Up on the stage, Pat, adorned in tight leather pants with a pink spandex top and glitter in his hair, was at the microphone belting out a rather perfect rendition of RESPECT, with Jules joining in with the back-up vocals. Benny, of course, was offering the drums for rhythm while having ample opportunity to perve on Jules, whose arse was in his direct line of sight. Lachlan and Tara were sitting at a table right in front of the stage, Tara draped happily across Lachlan’s lap while he moved underneath her to the music, mouthing the words along with Pat. Tara was giggling, barely managing not to splash her orange juice down the front of Lachlan’s shirt. Chase and Rogue were sitting with them, Chase gesturing animatedly at something before the newlyweds burst out laughing together. Then off to the side of the stage, Tab and Luke were wrapped up in a tight embrace, snogging each other as if their life’s breath depended on it. Keiran had disappeared out the back with his cell phone and bottle of water at the start of the break, so Riley didn’t get a chance to introduce him to Beth at that point.
Riley excused himself to make a quick retreat to the men’s room. At least, that had been the plan until Lachlan suddenly took the stage and Riley balked at the edge of the dance floor, mouth dropping open. Tara and Pat appeared beside him, Pat linking his arm through Riley’s. “I hope you have your camera, darling! Do you know how much I’ve worn my tongue out trying to get him up there tonight?” Pat said with an elaborate hand gesture.
Riley snorted and turned to Pat with a smirk. “You say that too loud and he’ll whack you with his haggis.”
Pat pressed the back of his hand to his forehead. “Oh, I wish he would, darling. I’ve been trying to turn him for years,” he sighed dramatically and then winked teasingly at Tara. “We could share, darling.” He wrapped his arm around her and pressed a smooch to her cheek.
Tara was fanning herself. “If he sings in front of this crowd, I’ll cry. Just thought I should warn you all.” Then she promptly burst in to tears before Lachlan even made it to the microphone. He was standing with Luke and Tab on the stage, looping a guitar strap over his head and clutching the instrument with ease. It didn’t look like one of Tab’s, but there were enough musicians around, so it could’ve been anyone’s.
“What’s he singing?” Riley asked in awe.
Pat shrugged and proffered some tissues to Tara that he’d plucked from the side pocket of her handbag. “He wouldn’t say. We’ve been bombarding him with requests all night to see if anything would spark him. We didn’t think he was going to fold again, but then he just downed his coke and said he’d be right back. Next thing we know he’s up there seeking out an instrument.”
Riley watched Tab help Lachlan adjust the guitar strap while Luke was gesturing across the stage, likely explaining the technicalities of the sound system and acoustics of the bar. Things that would go completely over Riley’s head if he’d been listening. Lachlan stepped up to the microphone and discreetly adjusted it to his height with a small smirk in Tab’s direction. He gave it a small tap, and had the bar’s attention. Clearly, he was an unfamiliar face on stage, so people were waiting to see what he would offer. “Okay, I’m here under dire sufferance, so if I keel over, it’s nay my fault but there are enough doctors in the house tonight to offer CPR,” he joked. “For those of you who dinnae know me, my name’s Lachlan and I played with a band for many years over in Scotland. Recently, I havenae had the best of my music mojo, but tonight I have a wee bit of a message for a dear friend of mine. Riley, this one’s for you, buddy.” He started to softly play the acoustics of ‘Everybody Hurts’ by REM, easing smoothly into the vocals like he’d never once missed a beat with his music.
Riley, who’d been chewing his nail and waiting for Lachlan to start belting out a power ballad love song for his wife, froze when he heard the familiar song. His heart started to thump in his chest and he felt a heat wash over him. It felt like all eyes were on him, but only their circle knew he was ‘Riley’. Pat’s arm snaked around his waist and Riley was grateful for that because he knew the words of the song were so painfully accurate for him right then that he wasn’t sure if could hold himself up through the impact of them. Hearing Lachlan sing to a crowd again came with enough enormity, but to know he was singing for him had Riley’s heart up in his throat and tears prickling his eyes.
Riley hugged one arm around himself and put his other hand up to catch the tears with his fingers as they spilled over. The rest of the song mostly passed by in a blur for him. He caught Lachlan wink at him during the last vocals and by this time, Tara was sharing out her tissue supply. Pat kissed Riley on the temple as Lachlan changed the pace, blowing a kiss at Tara as he started to sing ‘Simply the Best’ just like she had to him on their wedding night. Tara took Riley’s tissue from his hand, tore it in half and gave him one half back as her own tears continued in earnest.
Riley laughed tearfully, dabbing away the dampness from his eyes as he glanced at Pat. “I’m scared to think what you’ve requested of him,” he said.
“I didn’t think he’d sing ‘Dancing Queen’ for me, so I told him to go with ‘Evil Scotsman,” Pat admitted. “Not for the faint-hearted, but I figured there was a chance he’d do it just because I basically passively double-dared him to. Or-” He stopped as Lachlan transferred right from the Tina Turner number into ‘Let me Entertain You’ by Robbie Williams. In the meantime, he’d thrown the guitar over his back and was standing up at the piano, playing the first chords of the song, his musical talents more than evident. Pat threw up his hands. “Or Robbie Williams, because I thought it would be too fast-paced and out there for him to sing in front of a crowd this large. The bitch. I should’ve dared him with Gloria again. He’s had that look on his face all night, I should’ve known. You know the one. The ‘I’m smiling at you but there is no one you’re getting to know what I’m really thinking’.”
“Oh, you’re right. Never tell him he can’t do something,” Riley laughed as Lachlan belted out the song without missing a beat. Luke had taken over the lighting and there was now an array of colourful strobing lights on the stage to meet the pace of Lachlan’s singing. “The bastard makes me want to strangle him and hug him all at the same time.”
Robbie was faded out and Lachlan went back to the microphone in the middle of the stage, guitar back in place. “Patrick Preston’s to blame for this one!” he declared, pointing at Pat elaborately. With a devious smirk, he started belting out the rude and crude ‘Evil Scotsman’, his broad accent only emphasising the tongue-in-cheek hilarity of the song.
Riley couldn’t help it; as Lachlan’s Scottish accent reached ‘ten inch cock’ he burst out laughing, tears coming again though for a much better reason this time. He soon met Tab’s gaze, realising she was trying to check he was okay in the wake of Lachlan’s song. He smiled at his sister and gave her a thumbs up, then blew her a kiss. He was okay. In fact, right now, he was feeling really great and couldn’t wait to tell Evie all about it.
Lachlan Campbell [drcampbell], Tara Brennan-Campbell [doctortara], Tabitha Browne [asinthecity], Luke Jackson [notskywalker], Patrick Preston [sexyinscrubs], Beth Anderson [phtgrphcscot], Robert Chase [chasemd], Rogue [justalilcontact], Keiran Fitzpatrick [dublinbass], Jules Bailey [naughtynrse] & Benny Taylor [prvdsrhythm] all referenced with permission
Word Count | 1,444