Fic: First Instinct (8 of ?)
Chapter 1
Previous Chapter
Chapter 8
“Dad,” Kurt called as he opened the door to his father’s house, arms heavy with grocery bags. “I’m home. My friend is with me.”
“Okay!” Burt yelled back from somewhere near the living room.
Puck, also laden with groceries, followed Kurt into the house and back toward the kitchen. “I always wondered,” he said, putting his bags down where Kurt pointed, “what it would have been like growing up in a normal house. I guess it’s not that different. We always shouted at each other like that, too.”
Kurt shrugged and pulled a packet of baby spinach out of one of the bags. “I think it would have been nice having more people around than just dad and me.”
“Yeah, but you got privacy,” Puck laughed, pulling a few things out of his bags like he was going to root around until he figured out where they were supposed to go. Kurt took them from him. “I was, like, never alone. Lodes’ place was a shock for that reason too.”
“Was that his name?” Burt asked, breaking into the conversation as he came into the room. "Lodes?"
"Yeah," Kurt replied tightly, hating that his father knew anything about what had happened. On the one hand, it was nice to have someone else who knew why he was acting the way he did, but on the other hand Kurt couldn't help but worry about how much his father might be worrying about him and what that might do to his heart. "Dad, this is Noah Puckerman."
"Puck," the guy insisted, sticking out his hand for Burt to shake it. "You've got an awesome son. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you taught him how to shoot."
Burt nodded soberly, looking over at his son and Kurt felt himself blush. He wasn't some macho-man hero, he was just Kurt - the gay kid who liked fashion and musicals and hated every one of those lessons his father had drilled into his head.
Then Burt turned back to Puck and said, “Six years, my son tells me. You must be a survivor.”
“Sure,” Puck agreed, subtly moving in front of Kurt like he felt the need to protect him from his own father. Kurt rolled his eyes and started cooking.
Burt harrumphed again and left the room, so Puck turned to Kurt and said softly in his ear, “I don’t think your dad likes me.”
Kurt shivered at the way Puck’s breath played over the skin on his neck, reminding him of the bruises from Puck’s teeth that were still there. He couldn’t tell whether it was a good feeling or a bad feeling.
“He likes you,” Kurt told his friend, really guessing more than anything, because Burt Hummel was damn hard to read. “And the others will like you, too.”
“Others?”
“Finn’s coming for dinner,” Kurt explained, trying to focus on what he was doing and not the heat pouring off Puck’s body. “You flashed him yesterday morning when he came to check on me.”
“Oh, yeah,” Puck grinned. “He seemed alright.”
Kurt smiled back and told Puck, “And Carole is his mother, my step-mother. She works long hours, so don’t be upset if she’s not too engaged this evening. She’s more of a morning person, even without having worked double twelve-hour shifts.”
Puck seemed struck by a thought and after a moment, he asked, “What the hell sort of job am I going to get? I don’t know how to do anything.”
“That’s what fast-food jobs are for,” Kurt replied with a wicked grin, watching the werewolf’s face blanch. “Or, you’re probably strong enough for a warehouse job. Those don’t require much education.”
“Maybe I should go back to the reservation,” Puck sighed, though Kurt could tell he really hated that option. “At least they’ll take care of me there.”
“I’ll take care of you,” Kurt insisted. “At least for a while. No use giving up until you know for sure you can’t make it on your own.”
Puck smiled and grabbed one of the carrot sticks off of Kurt’s cutting board. Kurt chose to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and smiled back.
**88**
Before they left to go back to Kurt's apartment, Burt pulled his son away and asked quietly, "Are you sure you want this guy staying with you? You could always sleep here again. Whenever you want, kiddo."
"Thank you for the offer, dad, but no," Kurt replied resolutely. "And you can tell already that Puck's a good guy. Don't worry, he'll keep me company."
"Not worried about that," Burt scoffed, shuffling away and leaving Kurt to collect his things, including Puck, and go.
As they were driving, Kurt handed his new phone over to Puck and said, "Call your family. Let them know you're safe and you'll come visit on Saturday."
"But-"
"No but," Kurt insisted. "If you want to stay at my place, you're going to call. You don't even have to tell them where you are, if you don't want to."
"Fine," Puck huffed, taking the phone and poking around a bit before holding it up to his ear, wincing, and then holding it out further away. "Hey, Schue...No, I'm okay ... I couldn't- ... I need some time to get my shit together first ... I'll come by on Saturday ... a friend ... Schue! It's not like that ... Yeah, okay ... Bye." Turning to Kurt, Puck asked, "There, are you satisfied?"
"Yes," Kurt agreed, turning down his street and cruising slowly until he found a parking space. "I just know how worried my dad got, and I didn't want your family thinking you were gone for good again."
Puck shrugged and watched as Kurt parallel parked and then followed him into the building and up to Kurt's apartment. "You want me to sleep on the couch?"
Thinking about the night he'd spent at his dad's house, alone in that old twin bed, Kurt wanted to say no. However, he also saw how fragile Puck looked, despite the muscles and the super senses, and he didn't want to mess with that. "Whatever you'd rather is fine with me," Kurt replied finally, before finding one of the shopping bags and pushing it at Puck's chest. "Just wear the pajamas we got you today, alright?"
"Sure," Puck chuckled, rolling his neck to crack it as he disappeared into the bathroom to get changed.
**88**
They ended up sharing the bed again when Puck came in after all the lights were out and said, "I don't fit on the damn couch."
Kurt swallowed and pulled back the covers, "Okay," letting Puck get into bed next to him so they were back to back. It amazed him how quickly he fell asleep, because normally he didn't sleep nearly as well with someone else in the bed.
That didn't mean he was safe, though, not when he dreamt about Lodes shoving his dirty cock in Kurt's mouth and making him choke on it. The act itself had never happened, but it could have and when Kurt woke up, choking and gagging, he was alone.
Needing to find Puck, just to slow the terrified beating of his heart, Kurt got out of bed and stumbled toward the living room. When he saw a large, furry figure near the window, Kurt screamed a little and scrambled to turn on the light, relieved when he realized it was Puck in his wolf form.
"God," he scolded quietly. "You scared me half to death!"
Puck whined apologetically and ducked his head.
"What are you doing out here?" Kurt asked, wondering if he could bring himself to move any closer to the werewolf. It was just so different, how Kurt felt himself reacting to the man and to the wolf. Kurt liked the man, felt some sort of bond with and attraction toward him. Kurt wasn't sure how he felt about the wolf. On the one hand, he had endured the most painful and humiliating experience of his life because of him, but on the other, wolf-Puck had always been more kind to Kurt than not and had helped him escape Lodes' prison.
Puck did his wolf version of a shrug and looked back out the window, like he was searching Kurt's back lawn for something. Anything. Was he keeping watch? Could he just not sleep?
With a sigh, Kurt turned the light back off and approached Puck. He sat down on his heels next to the wolf, carefully running his hand down Puck's back and saying, "Yeah, me too."
Puck sighed and leaned a little closer, letting Kurt pet his fur for a very, very long time as they both stared out the window, watching and waiting for something.
**88**
When Kurt woke up, it was light out and he was laying on the floor in human-Puck’s arms, the man looking down at him thoughtfully. Wiping a little bit of drool from the corner of his mouth, Kurt asked, “Are you watching me sleep?”
“You look so much happier,” Puck replied, his voice soft and roughened, “when you’re sleeping. That’s because of what I did, isn’t it? I shouldn’t be here.”
The man tried to pull away, but Kurt held him in place, saying, “Puck. You didn’t do this to me. Lodes did. How many times to I have to say it? How many times to I have to sit here, right next to you, finding your presence the only comfort in my stupid life, before you start to believe it?”
Puck looked at him for just a moment before growling lightly in the back of his throat and pressing a desperate kiss to Kurt’s lips. Before Kurt knew what he was doing, he was kissing back and then he was thinking about how he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet and oh, god, they really shouldn’t be doing this. But it felt just so nice as Puck laid him back down on the floor, swiping his tongue across Kurt’s lips.
Kurt grabbed onto Puck’s neck for dear life, trying to push away every stray thought. “He’s not human.” “He hurt me.” “He doesn’t even know who he is anymore.”
Kurt landed on, “He’s the only one who understands,” and kissed back even harder, wanting to crawl into Puck’s warm mouth and live there, sheltered from the entire world, forever.
It was only when Puck pressed his hard on against Kurt’s hip that everything went downhill. Fighting the urge to gag, Kurt pulled away, trying to concentrate on breathing, but just about jumping out of his skin when Puck lightly brushed his back and asked, “What is it?”
“What do you think?” Kurt spat, knowing the moment he said it that it had been too bitchy, too mean and Puck didn’t deserve that.
“Sorry,” Puck mumbled, shifting as if to go away and Kurt thought, “What if he never comes back?”
“No, I’m sorry,” Kurt insisted, turning and catching Puck’s hand in his. “I want this. I do. It’s just going to take awhile …”
“Forever?”
“No,” Kurt insisted, pulling Puck back toward him so they were sitting face to face, still on the floor. “Not forever. Puck, you … This is stupid to say, but I think I love you. I promise, it won’t take forever.”
“You don’t love me,” Puck shook his head, looking away, but at least keeping his hand in Kurt’s. “You just think you do, Kurt. What happens when you realize you can’t deal with the fact that I raped you?”
“What happens when you realize that you were raped, too?” Kurt asked. “What happens if you leave here and go find another wolf to be with and the first time you try to have sex, he does something to set you off and you end up hurting him, like you did with your cousin’s girlfriend?”
Puck looked down into his lap and clenched his jaw, the muscles jutting out as the sides of his face, just enough that Kurt could tell he’d hit the mark. “What if…?” he asked softly. “What if we take it really slow? For both our sakes?"
Smiling, Kurt leaned down to get Puck to look him in the eyes and replied, “I’d really like that, Noah.”
The clench in Puck’s jaw faded a little as he nodded, squeezing Kurt’s hand and looking out the window again, like he wished he had the courage to go out on his own, but just didn’t.
Kurt wanted to get over to his father’s house to check on the man and make sure he’d taken all his medications, so he slipped into the shower. While he was there, he tried to think about being with Puck in that way, but his body refused to respond, even though he was alone. He could picture cuddling with the man, he could picture kissing him, but when it came to sex - crap. What if Kurt was ruined?
Maybe that therapist wasn’t such a bad idea.
He resolved to find someone his dad’s insurance would pay for, but when Kurt got out of the bathroom, there were two people sitting in his living room - Puck and Detective Kerns, from the police.
“What’s going on?” Kurt asked, moving forward and leaning against the arm of the chair Puck was sitting on. “Is something wrong?”
“Mr. Hummel,” the detective began and already Kurt could tell this wasn’t going to be good. “Do you know a man named John Lodes?”
Thanking god for all the acting lessons he’d taken in high school and college, Kurt calmly shook his head and asked, “Why? Who is he?”
“What about Ben Smith? Eric Kuchner? Harold Williamson?”
Thinking those must have been the names of Lodes’ friends, Kurt shook his head and replied, “I’ve never heard of any of them. What is this about?
“We found all four of these men dead in the warehouse district early this morning,” the detective explained. Ah. They’d found the bodies Kurt and Puck had left. “It was a pretty gruesome scene and we were wondering why we found this.”
The detective passed over a plastic bag that held a card - Kurt’s driver’s license.
“Does that belong to you, Mr. Hummel?”
“Yes,” he replied, turning the card over and finding a little bit of blood on it. His own blood, probably, given the way Lodes had treated him during the kidnapping. “It was stolen when my friend and I were in Atlantic City.”
“Do you have any idea how it got back into town?” Kearns asked, and shit this was turning bad on him.
“Whoever stole it brought it here?” Kurt suggested. “I really don’t know, Detective.”
Taking back the card, Kearns said, "Could you remind me where you were staying in Atlantic City? Just so I can rule you out..."
Kurt wasn't quite sure what to say, but Puck broke in and told the detective, "We were staying with my cousin Santana Lopez. You want her number?"
Kearns nodded and Puck spouted off a string of numbers. After the detective left, Kurt asked, "Will she vouch for us?"
"Yeah," Puck nodded and pulled Kurt into a comforting hug. "No questions. My family's like that."
A/N: I’ve been really blocked on how to finish this story up, so any suggestions/ideas you might want to share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!
Previous Chapter
Chapter 8
“Dad,” Kurt called as he opened the door to his father’s house, arms heavy with grocery bags. “I’m home. My friend is with me.”
“Okay!” Burt yelled back from somewhere near the living room.
Puck, also laden with groceries, followed Kurt into the house and back toward the kitchen. “I always wondered,” he said, putting his bags down where Kurt pointed, “what it would have been like growing up in a normal house. I guess it’s not that different. We always shouted at each other like that, too.”
Kurt shrugged and pulled a packet of baby spinach out of one of the bags. “I think it would have been nice having more people around than just dad and me.”
“Yeah, but you got privacy,” Puck laughed, pulling a few things out of his bags like he was going to root around until he figured out where they were supposed to go. Kurt took them from him. “I was, like, never alone. Lodes’ place was a shock for that reason too.”
“Was that his name?” Burt asked, breaking into the conversation as he came into the room. "Lodes?"
"Yeah," Kurt replied tightly, hating that his father knew anything about what had happened. On the one hand, it was nice to have someone else who knew why he was acting the way he did, but on the other hand Kurt couldn't help but worry about how much his father might be worrying about him and what that might do to his heart. "Dad, this is Noah Puckerman."
"Puck," the guy insisted, sticking out his hand for Burt to shake it. "You've got an awesome son. I can't tell you how grateful I am that you taught him how to shoot."
Burt nodded soberly, looking over at his son and Kurt felt himself blush. He wasn't some macho-man hero, he was just Kurt - the gay kid who liked fashion and musicals and hated every one of those lessons his father had drilled into his head.
Then Burt turned back to Puck and said, “Six years, my son tells me. You must be a survivor.”
“Sure,” Puck agreed, subtly moving in front of Kurt like he felt the need to protect him from his own father. Kurt rolled his eyes and started cooking.
Burt harrumphed again and left the room, so Puck turned to Kurt and said softly in his ear, “I don’t think your dad likes me.”
Kurt shivered at the way Puck’s breath played over the skin on his neck, reminding him of the bruises from Puck’s teeth that were still there. He couldn’t tell whether it was a good feeling or a bad feeling.
“He likes you,” Kurt told his friend, really guessing more than anything, because Burt Hummel was damn hard to read. “And the others will like you, too.”
“Others?”
“Finn’s coming for dinner,” Kurt explained, trying to focus on what he was doing and not the heat pouring off Puck’s body. “You flashed him yesterday morning when he came to check on me.”
“Oh, yeah,” Puck grinned. “He seemed alright.”
Kurt smiled back and told Puck, “And Carole is his mother, my step-mother. She works long hours, so don’t be upset if she’s not too engaged this evening. She’s more of a morning person, even without having worked double twelve-hour shifts.”
Puck seemed struck by a thought and after a moment, he asked, “What the hell sort of job am I going to get? I don’t know how to do anything.”
“That’s what fast-food jobs are for,” Kurt replied with a wicked grin, watching the werewolf’s face blanch. “Or, you’re probably strong enough for a warehouse job. Those don’t require much education.”
“Maybe I should go back to the reservation,” Puck sighed, though Kurt could tell he really hated that option. “At least they’ll take care of me there.”
“I’ll take care of you,” Kurt insisted. “At least for a while. No use giving up until you know for sure you can’t make it on your own.”
Puck smiled and grabbed one of the carrot sticks off of Kurt’s cutting board. Kurt chose to ignore the butterflies in his stomach and smiled back.
**88**
Before they left to go back to Kurt's apartment, Burt pulled his son away and asked quietly, "Are you sure you want this guy staying with you? You could always sleep here again. Whenever you want, kiddo."
"Thank you for the offer, dad, but no," Kurt replied resolutely. "And you can tell already that Puck's a good guy. Don't worry, he'll keep me company."
"Not worried about that," Burt scoffed, shuffling away and leaving Kurt to collect his things, including Puck, and go.
As they were driving, Kurt handed his new phone over to Puck and said, "Call your family. Let them know you're safe and you'll come visit on Saturday."
"But-"
"No but," Kurt insisted. "If you want to stay at my place, you're going to call. You don't even have to tell them where you are, if you don't want to."
"Fine," Puck huffed, taking the phone and poking around a bit before holding it up to his ear, wincing, and then holding it out further away. "Hey, Schue...No, I'm okay ... I couldn't- ... I need some time to get my shit together first ... I'll come by on Saturday ... a friend ... Schue! It's not like that ... Yeah, okay ... Bye." Turning to Kurt, Puck asked, "There, are you satisfied?"
"Yes," Kurt agreed, turning down his street and cruising slowly until he found a parking space. "I just know how worried my dad got, and I didn't want your family thinking you were gone for good again."
Puck shrugged and watched as Kurt parallel parked and then followed him into the building and up to Kurt's apartment. "You want me to sleep on the couch?"
Thinking about the night he'd spent at his dad's house, alone in that old twin bed, Kurt wanted to say no. However, he also saw how fragile Puck looked, despite the muscles and the super senses, and he didn't want to mess with that. "Whatever you'd rather is fine with me," Kurt replied finally, before finding one of the shopping bags and pushing it at Puck's chest. "Just wear the pajamas we got you today, alright?"
"Sure," Puck chuckled, rolling his neck to crack it as he disappeared into the bathroom to get changed.
**88**
They ended up sharing the bed again when Puck came in after all the lights were out and said, "I don't fit on the damn couch."
Kurt swallowed and pulled back the covers, "Okay," letting Puck get into bed next to him so they were back to back. It amazed him how quickly he fell asleep, because normally he didn't sleep nearly as well with someone else in the bed.
That didn't mean he was safe, though, not when he dreamt about Lodes shoving his dirty cock in Kurt's mouth and making him choke on it. The act itself had never happened, but it could have and when Kurt woke up, choking and gagging, he was alone.
Needing to find Puck, just to slow the terrified beating of his heart, Kurt got out of bed and stumbled toward the living room. When he saw a large, furry figure near the window, Kurt screamed a little and scrambled to turn on the light, relieved when he realized it was Puck in his wolf form.
"God," he scolded quietly. "You scared me half to death!"
Puck whined apologetically and ducked his head.
"What are you doing out here?" Kurt asked, wondering if he could bring himself to move any closer to the werewolf. It was just so different, how Kurt felt himself reacting to the man and to the wolf. Kurt liked the man, felt some sort of bond with and attraction toward him. Kurt wasn't sure how he felt about the wolf. On the one hand, he had endured the most painful and humiliating experience of his life because of him, but on the other, wolf-Puck had always been more kind to Kurt than not and had helped him escape Lodes' prison.
Puck did his wolf version of a shrug and looked back out the window, like he was searching Kurt's back lawn for something. Anything. Was he keeping watch? Could he just not sleep?
With a sigh, Kurt turned the light back off and approached Puck. He sat down on his heels next to the wolf, carefully running his hand down Puck's back and saying, "Yeah, me too."
Puck sighed and leaned a little closer, letting Kurt pet his fur for a very, very long time as they both stared out the window, watching and waiting for something.
**88**
When Kurt woke up, it was light out and he was laying on the floor in human-Puck’s arms, the man looking down at him thoughtfully. Wiping a little bit of drool from the corner of his mouth, Kurt asked, “Are you watching me sleep?”
“You look so much happier,” Puck replied, his voice soft and roughened, “when you’re sleeping. That’s because of what I did, isn’t it? I shouldn’t be here.”
The man tried to pull away, but Kurt held him in place, saying, “Puck. You didn’t do this to me. Lodes did. How many times to I have to say it? How many times to I have to sit here, right next to you, finding your presence the only comfort in my stupid life, before you start to believe it?”
Puck looked at him for just a moment before growling lightly in the back of his throat and pressing a desperate kiss to Kurt’s lips. Before Kurt knew what he was doing, he was kissing back and then he was thinking about how he hadn’t brushed his teeth yet and oh, god, they really shouldn’t be doing this. But it felt just so nice as Puck laid him back down on the floor, swiping his tongue across Kurt’s lips.
Kurt grabbed onto Puck’s neck for dear life, trying to push away every stray thought. “He’s not human.” “He hurt me.” “He doesn’t even know who he is anymore.”
Kurt landed on, “He’s the only one who understands,” and kissed back even harder, wanting to crawl into Puck’s warm mouth and live there, sheltered from the entire world, forever.
It was only when Puck pressed his hard on against Kurt’s hip that everything went downhill. Fighting the urge to gag, Kurt pulled away, trying to concentrate on breathing, but just about jumping out of his skin when Puck lightly brushed his back and asked, “What is it?”
“What do you think?” Kurt spat, knowing the moment he said it that it had been too bitchy, too mean and Puck didn’t deserve that.
“Sorry,” Puck mumbled, shifting as if to go away and Kurt thought, “What if he never comes back?”
“No, I’m sorry,” Kurt insisted, turning and catching Puck’s hand in his. “I want this. I do. It’s just going to take awhile …”
“Forever?”
“No,” Kurt insisted, pulling Puck back toward him so they were sitting face to face, still on the floor. “Not forever. Puck, you … This is stupid to say, but I think I love you. I promise, it won’t take forever.”
“You don’t love me,” Puck shook his head, looking away, but at least keeping his hand in Kurt’s. “You just think you do, Kurt. What happens when you realize you can’t deal with the fact that I raped you?”
“What happens when you realize that you were raped, too?” Kurt asked. “What happens if you leave here and go find another wolf to be with and the first time you try to have sex, he does something to set you off and you end up hurting him, like you did with your cousin’s girlfriend?”
Puck looked down into his lap and clenched his jaw, the muscles jutting out as the sides of his face, just enough that Kurt could tell he’d hit the mark. “What if…?” he asked softly. “What if we take it really slow? For both our sakes?"
Smiling, Kurt leaned down to get Puck to look him in the eyes and replied, “I’d really like that, Noah.”
The clench in Puck’s jaw faded a little as he nodded, squeezing Kurt’s hand and looking out the window again, like he wished he had the courage to go out on his own, but just didn’t.
Kurt wanted to get over to his father’s house to check on the man and make sure he’d taken all his medications, so he slipped into the shower. While he was there, he tried to think about being with Puck in that way, but his body refused to respond, even though he was alone. He could picture cuddling with the man, he could picture kissing him, but when it came to sex - crap. What if Kurt was ruined?
Maybe that therapist wasn’t such a bad idea.
He resolved to find someone his dad’s insurance would pay for, but when Kurt got out of the bathroom, there were two people sitting in his living room - Puck and Detective Kerns, from the police.
“What’s going on?” Kurt asked, moving forward and leaning against the arm of the chair Puck was sitting on. “Is something wrong?”
“Mr. Hummel,” the detective began and already Kurt could tell this wasn’t going to be good. “Do you know a man named John Lodes?”
Thanking god for all the acting lessons he’d taken in high school and college, Kurt calmly shook his head and asked, “Why? Who is he?”
“What about Ben Smith? Eric Kuchner? Harold Williamson?”
Thinking those must have been the names of Lodes’ friends, Kurt shook his head and replied, “I’ve never heard of any of them. What is this about?
“We found all four of these men dead in the warehouse district early this morning,” the detective explained. Ah. They’d found the bodies Kurt and Puck had left. “It was a pretty gruesome scene and we were wondering why we found this.”
The detective passed over a plastic bag that held a card - Kurt’s driver’s license.
“Does that belong to you, Mr. Hummel?”
“Yes,” he replied, turning the card over and finding a little bit of blood on it. His own blood, probably, given the way Lodes had treated him during the kidnapping. “It was stolen when my friend and I were in Atlantic City.”
“Do you have any idea how it got back into town?” Kearns asked, and shit this was turning bad on him.
“Whoever stole it brought it here?” Kurt suggested. “I really don’t know, Detective.”
Taking back the card, Kearns said, "Could you remind me where you were staying in Atlantic City? Just so I can rule you out..."
Kurt wasn't quite sure what to say, but Puck broke in and told the detective, "We were staying with my cousin Santana Lopez. You want her number?"
Kearns nodded and Puck spouted off a string of numbers. After the detective left, Kurt asked, "Will she vouch for us?"
"Yeah," Puck nodded and pulled Kurt into a comforting hug. "No questions. My family's like that."
A/N: I’ve been really blocked on how to finish this story up, so any suggestions/ideas you might want to share would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!