Gift fic for marlenem: Every Time We Say Goodbye
Title: Every Time We Say Goodbye
Written for: marlenem
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 5,488
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: Dear Marle, at first I totally didn’t know which one of your suggestions I should turn into a fic. If I had the time, I’d probably write something for each of your likes, but… Anyway, I really hope you like which of them made it into the final result. Enjoy! <3
Summary: Three times, Kame finds, is just more than enough.
2006
Cold air hits Kame’s lungs making him wheeze. His sides burn like crazy and he is very sure that his legs are about to give up on him soon.
“Jin,” he shouts one more time, his voice small and scratchy sounding worse than after months of rehearsals and touring.
The taxi is long gone and Jin’s probably never turned around. If drama writers really think this whole running after a taxi thing is working, they are stupid idiots.
---
2010
Kame can’t help but stare at the six costumes on the clothes rag. “We totally look like soldiers,” is what Jin’s said about them once they were done. Kame never understood why they kept Jin’s costumes on the rags. It has felt weird with one costume left on there. But at least it still gave him hope that Jin would be back. And now the costume is still there.
“Here you go,” Nakamaru says in a soft voice as he hands Kame a glass of water and an aspirin. He feels awful too, Kame can tell. It’s probably been the very first time that Nakamaru had much more to drink than Kame himself. Still, Kame does wish the water would turn out to be vodka. It would help to survive the day. Survive the concert and help drown the thought that this is going to be the first time they will step out on that stage and be 100% certain that Jin is not going to ever come back again.
---
2013
Sometimes, Kame likes not being the center of attention. People around him are bustling as they try to find their seats and get sorted. He can hear the girls flail in excitement, but even if they do recognize him, it doesn’t seem worth mentioning.
“Hey,” someone says next to Kame startling him. Some instinct kicks in that makes Kame straighten up and mask his face with distance and professionalism. He’s good at handling fans. He’ll also be good at handling fans in his free time. Though when he does look up, he’s not sure if he can handle this.
“Hey,” he says back after what feels like hours of just staring.
Jin looks good. And happy. It’s the first thing Kame notices about him. He also looks nervous.
“I heard you were here and just thought I’d use the chance to tell you in person.” Because it was probably the only chance to talk in person they’d ever get. “I quit.”
Kame just nods.
---
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make Shirota Yu Kame’s opponent was an idiot. Shirota is great to work with and Kame hasn’t had that much fun on a set in a good while. But turning him into the bad guy who is after Kame’s love interest is not a choice Kame would have ever made. He’s got 20 centimeters on him and Kame’s character isn’t exactly one where Kame could possibly make himself seem much taller than he is.
He’s a moron and a wimp, though Kame refuses to act out the wimpiness as much as he’s supposed to. He’d prefer Shirota’s role, but his manager said it was about time for a less dark character. So, the moron it is. And they don’t even make any effort to make Kame look tall. Or just less small.
“Hey, are you up for dinner and drinks tonight? I just discovered this great yakinuku place and I think you’d like it,” Shirota asks as they towel their hair dry. It’s been a long day and they just wrapped up their big fighting scene in the rain. It took ages, because the camera angles never seemed right and even though nobody’s said it, Kame is pretty sure they realized how ridiculous it must have looked. No one is going to be surprised that Shirota’s character wins that one.
They’re almost two months into filming and even though Shirota and Kame did get along quite well, they never went out together. It’s unusual for Kame, yet something does make him hesitate.
“Actually, I…”, as Kame starts, the expression on Shirota’s face turns from excitement to slight disappointment. Yeah, they both know what Kame is about to do and say. “Well, actually, I had wanted to ask you out tonight too, so… sure thing!”
---
Kame tells himself it’s going to be worth it. It’s going to be fun and they will bond, even though they almost wrapped up filming. But their characters never liked each other until this point, anyway. And this is going to be worth it.
The place is nice and cozy. It’s in one of the posher areas of Roppongi, which is something Kame is utterly grateful for. For a moment, he had forgotten that it might have been too dangerous to just blindly follow Shirota’s suggestion. But then Kame remembered that it’s not 2006 and Shirota is not a nobody anymore. Also, with him, simply hiding between a hat and sunglasses won’t do to make him less noticeable.
The waiter is discreet and lets Kame tell him who he’s looking for. He doesn’t seem too impressed by Kame’s presence, is professional and smooth about it. He’s also pretty cute and Kame is tempted to flirt with him a little. Just to test. Just to see. Just to feel good when he flirts back. If he flirts back.
Shirota is not alone. They’re in a little booth tucked away in the farthest corner of the restaurant. Five guys on a table for twelve. Kame immediately regrets coming here. He regrets the thought the moment he sees Shirota’s face turn from sheepish to distressed.
“Kame!” someone to his right squeals and tucks his arm to make him sit down on the bench. It’s that jewelry guy that Yamapi is friends with and whose name Kame always forgets. He used to see him more often, back then when Jin still dragged him along to some group outings. Kame’s always felt like he should like him more or at least remember his name, but it never sticks.
Jewelry guy waves his hand somewhat weirdly at the waiter and orders Kame a beer. Kame can tell he’s drunk already. Or on drugs. Or maybe both. This is going to be a long night.
Shirota still looks somewhat guilty as he introduces the other guys to Kame. He’s never seen them before, which makes him a bit too uncomfortable. But Shirota is a decent guy and he’s never had any trouble with him. Still, random paranoia was not what he needed today.
Kame is glad when the waiter brings his beer. Alcohol is definitely going to help him tonight. They clink their glasses and jewelry guy - Fukutaro, as Kame is helpfully reminded by Shirota - finishes his story about his new apartment that he tells with utter excitement, even though Kame either missed the most interesting part or it’s just really not that interesting a story.
“So. Should we order already or wait for the others? I’m starving,” Fukutaro babbles on. Others. Great. So. No dinner for two, but a party. For twelve probably. Kame isn’t even sure why it makes him so nervous. And somewhat mad at Shirota.
“I’d say let’s wait? You know how… they are,” Shirota mumbles not looking up from the menu which suddenly seems suspiciously interesting to him.
“How we are, huh? You afraid, Shirota?,” someone says from behind Kame. He doesn’t recognize who the voice belongs to, yet something about it sounds familiar.
“As if, man!” Shirota replies, a huge grin on his face. It fades, though, as Yamada comes around the table, Jin in tow.
---
Jin is quiet. Everyone on the table is already tipsy and either talking about their latest adcentures or argues over who gets to turn their meat on the grill. But Jin is quiet.
Fukutaro tells Kame yet another boring storing about an apartment hunt from three years ago and Kame really couldn’t care less. He wishes it would be more distracting. Would actually take his eyes off of Jin and the way he sits there somewhat uncomfortably. He hasn’t touched his second beer at all yet. And he’s ordered it about half an hour ago. It starts to make Kame nervous which makes him mad. Mad at Shirota, mostly. Kame should have known this wasn’t a good idea. He really should have known.
It’s difficult not to look at Jin. Very difficult. He’s wearing a black shirt, sleeves rolled up, two buttons opened revealing way too much of his slightly tanned skin. His hair is short with the tips curling around his ears and on his forehead. He’s pretty. Gorgeous even. 36 and still looking like 23. It’s painful and it hurts. Just looking at Jin hurts and makes Kame feel like a T-Rex just slit him open and is about to rip out his insides.
Jin licks his lips nervously as his eyes dart into Kame’s direction, warm eyes piercing right through him. Kame wants to look away, tries to make his eyes focus on Jin’s hands instead. Which is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Jin still seems nervous and he is so quiet. So unbelievably quiet.
“I’m sorry, I got to go. Long day. It was fun, thanks everyone,” Kame mumbles and grabs his jacket as he gets up and rushes out of the restaurant. Stupid Shirota.
---
Warm water runs down his naked form. The whole bathroom is covered in steam. On his skin, water and salty sweat mingle, merging into little droplets that run from his shoulders down his spine, along his thighs. It feels good and steady. Somewhat secure even.
Shirota’s been avoiding him for most of the week. Probably because he was able to tell that Kame’s been pretty mad. Kame feels a little sorry about that. And like he should maybe explain Shirota why he’s so mad in the first place. But it’s not Shirota’s business and it also isn’t that big a deal. It’s not that big a deal at all.
Sighing, Kame leans his head against the cool tiles and closes his eyes. 10 years and he thought he’d have his shit back together by now. But then again, it’s been 7 years since he last saw Jin. Yamapi kept him updated about a few things, sure. But it’s different to have Jin sitting in front of him. And Kame would have never expected it would make him feel that messed up.
---
The doorbell rings just as Kame is about to sit down, wrapped into his fluffy bathrobe that Nakamaru got him for his birthday. For a moment, he considers not to answer. It’s late and the shower relaxed his tired muscles. And Kame really has no clue who it might be, anyway. Whoever it is, that someone’s persistent. So persistent, that it shouldn’t have even surprised Kame to find Jin standing in his doorway.
Jin is just standing there, in a pair of his baggy jeans, a tight white sweater that nicely outlines the parts of his upper body that aren’t covered by the leather jacket hanging from his left shoulder. His hair is straight today, some strands of it are falling into his eyes and Kame can tell that Jin is itching to run his hands through his hair to put the strands back where they are supposed to be and out of his face. 10 years and just the tiniest twitching in Jin’s hand and Kame can still tell.
Without saying a word, Kame steps aside and lets Jin come in. He’s using a new perfume. It’s a light scent that somehow reminds Kame of the ocean and the beach. Kame follows him into the living room where he awkwardly gestures for Jin to sit down. He can see his eyes dart around curiously. It’s not like a lot has changed since the last time Jin has come here. And all of a sudden Kame feels strange about that. Like he’s stuck into the past, stuck into a bunch of memories. Like something has been holding onto him for all these years, never letting him go, never giving him a chance to move forward. It makes him feel uncomfortable. If Jin can tell all that just by looking around, it makes him way too uncomfortable.
“Can I offer you a drink?” Kame asks at last, voice steady and that is good. Jin doesn’t need more proof of his inner turmoil.
“No, thank you. I was just stopping by,” Jin says his eyes now focusing on Kame. His cheeks are flushed as far as Kame can tell. But maybe it’s also just the light.
Jin is nervous. Whatever brought him here makes him nervous. Kame can tell that he’s trying hard not to tap his foot or bite his lip. He’s fingering around with the hem of his sleeves, though. And Kame needs to take his eyes away from those hands. Because what he sees surprises him and even more than that, his mind’s reaction to it is unexpected and difficult. Probably wrong even, in a way.
“Shirota is pretty upset,” Jin says and lets out a deep breath. Kame didn’t realize he was even holding it. “He didn’t know everyone else would be there.”
Kame’s eyes widen and great. Of course that’s the reason Jin would come here for. What else could it even be? Kame is an idiot.
“So?” Kame just asks curtly. He’s feeling mad and furious. What does Jin even know?
Jin. Who sighs heavily and closes his eyes for a moment. As if to brace himself for the battle that is about to come. “You’ve been ignoring him since the dinner and he bugs me about that, because apparently, he thinks that I understand why you are ignoring him. And well, I don’t. And it’s driving me crazy that Shirota just keeps talking and assuming and is too chicken to ask you directly.”
It makes Kame chuckle. In a way. The image of this tall, huge guy being too chicken to talk to tiny Kame. It’s weirdly funny.
“Well, tell him I don’t bite and it’s all good and it’s just been a rough week.” Which is what it has been. Or so Kame tells himself. Truth is, he hasn’t been busier than any other week this year. He just didn’t sleep well or at all with those old ghosts of the past hunting him like that. Ghosts he thought long gone.
“Kame.” There it is. Jin’s don’t fuck with me undertone. Yeah, who is Kame even kidding? But who is Jin to suddenly show up here, anyway?
“Why are you even here?” It makes no sense. No sense at all.
“I told you. Shirota’s been bugging me and I’m tired of that,” Jin replies somewhat impatiently and Kame sighs. It still makes no sense.
“Well, tell him it’s all good and he can take me to lunch tomorrow.” With that, Kame gets up and walks out of the living room. He hears some shuffling and movement and then Jin is behind him, brushes his arm as he walks into the genkan to put his shoes on. He goes without saying goodbye or anything and the few hours of sleep Kame gets that night are haunted by dreams of rings that aren’t in places where they should be anymore.
---
Jin keeps coming. He just shows up on Kame’s doorstep, sits down on his couch, talks and then leaves again. He usually talks about Shirota. And all the ways in which Kame should treat him better. Kame has almost forgotten how protective Jin is of his friends. Especially when he thinks that someone did his friends injustice. But even if he hadn’t forgotten, Jin repeatedly showing up was nothing he would have ever expected.
They are about to wrap up the drama and Kame is glad about that. Because then Jin won’t have a reason to come. Won’t have a reason to stay. Won’t turn his world upside down again. Just a few more weeks and Kame’s brain can focus on something else again.
---
“So… I’m not so sure if it would be better to get that new studio for rent or to suck it up and buy. We definitely need a bigger one. And this one comes with storage space for concert props. It’s not like money is tight, but what if it all just keeps growing and in a year we will have to move again? And what if things suddenly blow up and I’ll end up being unemployed?” Jin sighs and grabs one of the wine bottles from the table.
He has brought three. Because he needed Kame’s opinion on which one goes better with gnocchi in a creamy spinach-bacon sauce.
Kame just nods and pretends to mull it over. He wants to mull it over, but his thoughts are somewhere else. He is so definitely not with it right now.
They have wrapped up the drama three weeks ago with a fun after-party and with daily LINE messages from Shirota. Kame was already glad that the visits have indeed stopped at the same time. Until Jin showed up again. Just like this.
“But okay, enough of all the work-related talk. I’m surprised you like the cheapest one better,” Jin remarks and starts to giggle when he sees the look on Kame’s face.
“I don’t go for expensive, I go for good. And if the cheapest wine is the best, then… well.” Kame shrugs and slowly turns the wineglass in his hand. He tries not to look at Jin or the comfortable way in which he sits right next to Kame. Tries hard not to look at the smug smile and the dark eyes that are following his every move.
---
Kame’s kitchen smells delicious. There’s garlic roasting in one of his expensive frying pans and it’s soon joined by thick pieces of bacon. Yes, this is going to go greatly with the cheap wine.
Jin is humming a familiar tune as he drops the freshly washed spinach into hot water. Kame leans on the counter watching Jin move around as if he’s never done anything else in his life. As if it’s normal that he just shows up with a huge bag full of groceries and cooks them dinner. That wasn’t even what they did way back when.
“If you want to set the table already, just go ahead!” Jin says with a smug smile on his face. Earlier, he forbad Kame to help him, because he was in charge of dinner tonight. So. Setting the table it is. Only that it takes Kame forever, because he is not quite sure who should sit where without making things awkward between them.
---
“We are still friends and we are still married on paper. But… I don’t know. I want to say that we just don’t work as a couple, even though we have made it work for quite some years already.” Jin shrugs and looks at the whiskey in his tumbler.
Kame feels tipsy and light-headed. KAT-TUN wrapped up their tour preparations that day and ended it with a huge celebration. When he came home, Jin was sitting in front of his apartment door giggling and probably as intoxicated as Kame.
“It’s a pain in the ass to keep it from the public. Especially with all the attention we are currently getting.”
“Yeah, I heard. Congratulations, by the way. It’s great that a whole arena tour has worked out for you,” Kame says and leans back in his comfortable massage chair. He is tempted to switch the massage function on, but that’s probably a bad idea considering the alcohol he has consumed so far. “And Meisa in a Hollywood production is an amazing chance. That’s good for her.”
Jin nods and empties his glass. “It is. She is really proud of getting to be the lead character of that movie. And I am too. It’s probably going to make things a little easier when she’s going away for filming, anyway.”
“But it’s still difficult, I suppose,” Kame says. Jin hates lying and pretending. He always has. And this is a big thing.
“Yeah, it sucks. But ever since Kei was born, the paparazzi just got worse. Especially when Meisa decided to continue to pursue her career and aim even higher. And especially when I had my bigger breakthrough and made it to the TV shows again and graduated from playing in community centres.” A shadow covers Jin’s face as he speaks, his eyes are getting just the tiniest bit darker. He shrugs as if to say he doesn’t care, even though Jin should know that he can’t fool Kame. Not on that one.
---
It starts to feel weird when Jin is not coming. Kame has no idea when that happened. Or how. All he knows is that his apartment is empty without Jin. That his nights seem boring and that the hands of the clock move slower than usual.
---
“When did you realize you were gay?” Kame almost drops his chopsticks. He stares at Jin, his eyes wide open. Jin doesn’t seem to notice, though. He just continues to eat the Chinese takeout he got them as if nothing has ever happened. As if he hasn’t just asked that.
“I told you. You were there for it,” Kame says eventually. He starts to feel uncomfortable with a heavy lump forming in his stomach.
They never talk about the past. Never talk about what has been and what is over now. Kame thought it was good that way. They were walking on safe soil. And now Kame feels the ground crumble.
“But you were still experimenting back then.” Jin still isn’t looking at him as he speaks. He is also still occupied with his food.
“Don’t go there.” Kame knows he sounds scary, but he doesn’t care. Experimenting. Kame wasn’t. Not back then. Not anymore. And Jin of all people should know that.
Jin continues to eat in silence while Kame just sits there. His heart is racing and his head is starting to spin. He’s not sure if Jin can tell. If the way Jin shifts uncomfortably where they are sitting on the couch is any indication that Jin knows this was a dumb question.
“Do you want me to go?” Jin asks next. He’s still not looking up, but rather than eating, he’s just picking at his food with his chopsticks.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kame says. Yet, they continue to sit there in silence until Jin suggests watching a movie and leaves before the credits have even started rolling.
---
Jin is drunk. Kame can smell the alcohol in his breath. He is drunk and his cheeks are cold, but his body is hot. His body, which is pressing Kame against the wall. He’s strong, too. Kame continues to fail at winding himself out of the tight grip Jin has on him.
He’s kissing him. Sloppily and without aim or focus. His tongue is pressing against Kame’s somewhat uncontrollably. It makes Kame shiver and pant, makes him lose what little control is left right there. Right wherever he is.
Jin is hard. Kame can feel the bulge where it rubs against his thin sweater. It makes Kame moan against Jin’s mouth which shoots up into a smile in return. There’s hands everywhere , roaming over Kame’s body, his skin burning where Jin has touched him. Even under all of his clothes.
Kame doesn’t know when he starts grabbing Jin back. Doesn’t know when he switches off his brain and just lets Jin have his way with him. Doesn’t realize when he himself gets hard and just let’s passion take over. Doesn’t realize when being rational has stopped to matter.
---
Jin’s skin is salty and sweaty. Kame slides his tongue over it again and again and again. It tastes like lazy Sunday mornings and like after-concert bliss. It tastes like the past and juvenility. Tastes like a time where everything seemed easy and perfect and uncomplicated.
The panting gets heavier, it rings in Kame’s ears making his skin crawl. So long since he’s last heard this. So long since he’s last felt the vibration of Jin’s body beneath his tongue.
Nothing about Jin’s taste has changed. It surprises Kame and arouses him even more. It’s like time has stopped. Just like that. Like there’s never been anyone else touching Jin between then and now. Like there’s never been anyone else who could taste and touch and feel Jin like that. Like Kame is the only one who can make him squirm and moan like that. Like Kame’s is the only name Jin screams as he comes hard and fast. And like Kame is the only one for whom Jin does all of this is return. Like Kame is the only one for whom this feels so right and so wrong at the same time.
---
Sometimes, Jin stays over night. Sometimes, they even have breakfast before they’re leaving for work. Sometimes, Jin is calm and quiet and just watches Kame, listens to what Kame tells him about his own schedule for the day over coffee and cinnamon rolls. Kame is never sure what to make of that. Jin’s silence feels so uncomfortable that he just wants to break it and ends up talking about whatever nonsensical thing he can think of.
---
Jin gets impatient with him. Kame can tell from the way he sometimes starts a cryptic conversation and desperately waits for Kame to just jump onto the ship. Waits for Kame to clear the fog and steer them to clarity. But Kame isn’t even sure where clarity is, so he’s going to stay on solid ground for as long as he can. Or at least until Jin decides to confront him directly.
---
The moonlight is reflecting in Jin’s eyes. It creates a unique glitter that has Kame mesmerized. It takes his focus away, leaves him naked and open and unprepared. It tears all of his walls down, makes him crawl out of that protective cocoon he is in.
“So,” Jin says after his breath has evened out and the sweat on his skin has dried. He’s lying on his back looking at the ceiling. He seems determined. And like he’s not going to let this one go.
“So,” Kame just repeats lamely. As if that is of any help.
Jin sighs and turns onto his side so he can stare right into Kame’s eyes. “I don’t get you,” he says, “I don’t get any of this.”
“Says the one who started all of this,” Kame mutters, immediately regretting it. Or almost regretting it. He knows it sounds sulky and unfair, but it’s true. Why should he be the one to make a decision here, anyway?
They are silent for a while. Kame hopes it’s not the calm before the storm that will make this ship lose control and crash against the next cliff.
“You are better at this than I am.” Matter-of-fact. Just like that. As if Kame is the one who always is in charge of all of this.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Kame says. He feels scared all of a sudden, but he’s sure about it all. He’s had so much time to think about what he wants and what he clearly doesn’t want anymore. Like looking at Jin. Because it distracts him. Because it makes him waver and give into the pleasure rather than doing what he should do. “I can’t have you turn my life upside down again. Hell, this has gone too far already. I don’t even know how this has happened, but. This has gone too far and it should stop.”
Jin is quiet. He stares at Kame with an unreadable expression on his face. Even though Kame is so sure that this was what Jin wanted to hear. Or maybe he just hoped that that’s what Jin wanted to hear. Because it would make both their lives easier if they just thought the same way about this.
“Okay,” he says at last, “so, you fuck me for weeks and now all of a sudden you don’t want to anymore? Just like that? What is it with you?”
“It’s because you always leave.” It comes out as a whisper only. His voice sounds so thin and weak and begging that Kame wants to take it back again right away. “It’s because I think everything is great and awesome and perfect, but in the end you always leave. In the end, I always have to say goodbye. In the end you’re always gone. I lose you as my boyfriend. I lose you as my bandmate. I lose you as my friend. And every time we say goodbye, something breaks and it feels empty and I have no idea how to fill the holes you left. And I am tired of that, Jin. We haven’t talked for seven years and you just come back as if nothing has ever happened.”
There’s movement in the bed. A rustling of blankets and pillows until Jin props his head up on his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into the darkness. He does sound like he is. “It wasn’t easy on me either. I never meant to hurt you, but… I wasn’t ready to be your boyfriend back then. I just wasn’t ready for it and I thought you’d understand. We were too young. I was too young. Saying goodbye to you all of these times hurt me too.”
He sounds vulnerable and Kame almost feels sorry.
“I missed you. I was happy, too. With Meisa and the kids, but… she’s just not you.”
“Jin…” It comes out a little pathetic, sounds a little too desperate in Kame’s ears. But truth is, he’s touched. He feels touched and lightheaded and like someone should really pinch him, because this has to be a dream. This can only be a dream.
Jin is nervous. Kame can tell from the way he bites his lower lip and from the way his body suddenly tenses. It’s cute, somehow. But it’s also dangerous. It makes Kame want to ease the tension, makes him want to take all of Jin’s troubles away.
“Just trust me on this one, okay? I was stupid to let you go. I don’t want to be stupid again.” Jin’s voice is still only a whisper. It warms Kame’s insides in a weird way. Makes him feel fuzzy and stupid. The good kind of stupid. The kind of stupid who doesn’t think about the old hurt and the fear. The kind of stupid who only focuses on the here and now. The kind of stupid that would follow Jin wherever he goes.
Kame turns on his side and wraps an arm around Jin’s form. His skin is soft and warm. It smells like sex and passion and Jin. It smells like them.
“Okay.” It’s all Kame says. It’s all Kame needs to say, before he pulls Jin closer and kisses him like he’s never kissed him before.
---
2026
“It’s over,” Kame hears Jin say through the phone. He sounds upset and tense. At the same time, he sounds like just the heaviest burden was lifted from his shoulders. Kame knows how heavy this burden was. He holds his breath, because he knows there’s more to come. Knows that Jin just needs a moment to collect himself before he can go on.
“Kame, it was amazing. The kids were great and they are so talented and I feel like I can really do this. We made it and now it’s over and I wish they were of age, because this deserves some party.” Jin’s excitement makes Kame giggle. It makes him feel good and warm and right.
“I’m proud of you, Jin,” he says. And he is. Even though he was a little skeptical of the idea of Jin starting to have kids audition to teach them dancing and singing, maybe even acting. Even though he tried to talk Jin out of basically having his own juniors right there. Just like they used to be the juniors for someone else.
It’s almost like he can hear Jin smile through the phone. It makes Kame want to go there right now and kiss him senseless.
“I’ll be back tomorrow night,” Jin replies instead. Kame loves the suggestive undertone and how excited it makes him.
“I can’t wait,” he whispers as he looks out of the window into the cities’ night sky. Bright lights shine through it into the dimly lit apartment, one of them reflects in the tiny rhinestones embed into the ring on the ring Kame’s wears on his left ring finger.
“I love you,” Jin says, his voice deep and warm. And Kame knows there’s no more goodbyes ever again.
End.
Written for: marlenem
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG13
Word Count: 5,488
Warnings: None
Author's Notes: Dear Marle, at first I totally didn’t know which one of your suggestions I should turn into a fic. If I had the time, I’d probably write something for each of your likes, but… Anyway, I really hope you like which of them made it into the final result. Enjoy! <3
Summary: Three times, Kame finds, is just more than enough.
2006
Cold air hits Kame’s lungs making him wheeze. His sides burn like crazy and he is very sure that his legs are about to give up on him soon.
“Jin,” he shouts one more time, his voice small and scratchy sounding worse than after months of rehearsals and touring.
The taxi is long gone and Jin’s probably never turned around. If drama writers really think this whole running after a taxi thing is working, they are stupid idiots.
---
2010
Kame can’t help but stare at the six costumes on the clothes rag. “We totally look like soldiers,” is what Jin’s said about them once they were done. Kame never understood why they kept Jin’s costumes on the rags. It has felt weird with one costume left on there. But at least it still gave him hope that Jin would be back. And now the costume is still there.
“Here you go,” Nakamaru says in a soft voice as he hands Kame a glass of water and an aspirin. He feels awful too, Kame can tell. It’s probably been the very first time that Nakamaru had much more to drink than Kame himself. Still, Kame does wish the water would turn out to be vodka. It would help to survive the day. Survive the concert and help drown the thought that this is going to be the first time they will step out on that stage and be 100% certain that Jin is not going to ever come back again.
---
2013
Sometimes, Kame likes not being the center of attention. People around him are bustling as they try to find their seats and get sorted. He can hear the girls flail in excitement, but even if they do recognize him, it doesn’t seem worth mentioning.
“Hey,” someone says next to Kame startling him. Some instinct kicks in that makes Kame straighten up and mask his face with distance and professionalism. He’s good at handling fans. He’ll also be good at handling fans in his free time. Though when he does look up, he’s not sure if he can handle this.
“Hey,” he says back after what feels like hours of just staring.
Jin looks good. And happy. It’s the first thing Kame notices about him. He also looks nervous.
“I heard you were here and just thought I’d use the chance to tell you in person.” Because it was probably the only chance to talk in person they’d ever get. “I quit.”
Kame just nods.
---
Whoever thought it was a good idea to make Shirota Yu Kame’s opponent was an idiot. Shirota is great to work with and Kame hasn’t had that much fun on a set in a good while. But turning him into the bad guy who is after Kame’s love interest is not a choice Kame would have ever made. He’s got 20 centimeters on him and Kame’s character isn’t exactly one where Kame could possibly make himself seem much taller than he is.
He’s a moron and a wimp, though Kame refuses to act out the wimpiness as much as he’s supposed to. He’d prefer Shirota’s role, but his manager said it was about time for a less dark character. So, the moron it is. And they don’t even make any effort to make Kame look tall. Or just less small.
“Hey, are you up for dinner and drinks tonight? I just discovered this great yakinuku place and I think you’d like it,” Shirota asks as they towel their hair dry. It’s been a long day and they just wrapped up their big fighting scene in the rain. It took ages, because the camera angles never seemed right and even though nobody’s said it, Kame is pretty sure they realized how ridiculous it must have looked. No one is going to be surprised that Shirota’s character wins that one.
They’re almost two months into filming and even though Shirota and Kame did get along quite well, they never went out together. It’s unusual for Kame, yet something does make him hesitate.
“Actually, I…”, as Kame starts, the expression on Shirota’s face turns from excitement to slight disappointment. Yeah, they both know what Kame is about to do and say. “Well, actually, I had wanted to ask you out tonight too, so… sure thing!”
---
Kame tells himself it’s going to be worth it. It’s going to be fun and they will bond, even though they almost wrapped up filming. But their characters never liked each other until this point, anyway. And this is going to be worth it.
The place is nice and cozy. It’s in one of the posher areas of Roppongi, which is something Kame is utterly grateful for. For a moment, he had forgotten that it might have been too dangerous to just blindly follow Shirota’s suggestion. But then Kame remembered that it’s not 2006 and Shirota is not a nobody anymore. Also, with him, simply hiding between a hat and sunglasses won’t do to make him less noticeable.
The waiter is discreet and lets Kame tell him who he’s looking for. He doesn’t seem too impressed by Kame’s presence, is professional and smooth about it. He’s also pretty cute and Kame is tempted to flirt with him a little. Just to test. Just to see. Just to feel good when he flirts back. If he flirts back.
Shirota is not alone. They’re in a little booth tucked away in the farthest corner of the restaurant. Five guys on a table for twelve. Kame immediately regrets coming here. He regrets the thought the moment he sees Shirota’s face turn from sheepish to distressed.
“Kame!” someone to his right squeals and tucks his arm to make him sit down on the bench. It’s that jewelry guy that Yamapi is friends with and whose name Kame always forgets. He used to see him more often, back then when Jin still dragged him along to some group outings. Kame’s always felt like he should like him more or at least remember his name, but it never sticks.
Jewelry guy waves his hand somewhat weirdly at the waiter and orders Kame a beer. Kame can tell he’s drunk already. Or on drugs. Or maybe both. This is going to be a long night.
Shirota still looks somewhat guilty as he introduces the other guys to Kame. He’s never seen them before, which makes him a bit too uncomfortable. But Shirota is a decent guy and he’s never had any trouble with him. Still, random paranoia was not what he needed today.
Kame is glad when the waiter brings his beer. Alcohol is definitely going to help him tonight. They clink their glasses and jewelry guy - Fukutaro, as Kame is helpfully reminded by Shirota - finishes his story about his new apartment that he tells with utter excitement, even though Kame either missed the most interesting part or it’s just really not that interesting a story.
“So. Should we order already or wait for the others? I’m starving,” Fukutaro babbles on. Others. Great. So. No dinner for two, but a party. For twelve probably. Kame isn’t even sure why it makes him so nervous. And somewhat mad at Shirota.
“I’d say let’s wait? You know how… they are,” Shirota mumbles not looking up from the menu which suddenly seems suspiciously interesting to him.
“How we are, huh? You afraid, Shirota?,” someone says from behind Kame. He doesn’t recognize who the voice belongs to, yet something about it sounds familiar.
“As if, man!” Shirota replies, a huge grin on his face. It fades, though, as Yamada comes around the table, Jin in tow.
---
Jin is quiet. Everyone on the table is already tipsy and either talking about their latest adcentures or argues over who gets to turn their meat on the grill. But Jin is quiet.
Fukutaro tells Kame yet another boring storing about an apartment hunt from three years ago and Kame really couldn’t care less. He wishes it would be more distracting. Would actually take his eyes off of Jin and the way he sits there somewhat uncomfortably. He hasn’t touched his second beer at all yet. And he’s ordered it about half an hour ago. It starts to make Kame nervous which makes him mad. Mad at Shirota, mostly. Kame should have known this wasn’t a good idea. He really should have known.
It’s difficult not to look at Jin. Very difficult. He’s wearing a black shirt, sleeves rolled up, two buttons opened revealing way too much of his slightly tanned skin. His hair is short with the tips curling around his ears and on his forehead. He’s pretty. Gorgeous even. 36 and still looking like 23. It’s painful and it hurts. Just looking at Jin hurts and makes Kame feel like a T-Rex just slit him open and is about to rip out his insides.
Jin licks his lips nervously as his eyes dart into Kame’s direction, warm eyes piercing right through him. Kame wants to look away, tries to make his eyes focus on Jin’s hands instead. Which is a bad idea. A really bad idea. Jin still seems nervous and he is so quiet. So unbelievably quiet.
“I’m sorry, I got to go. Long day. It was fun, thanks everyone,” Kame mumbles and grabs his jacket as he gets up and rushes out of the restaurant. Stupid Shirota.
---
Warm water runs down his naked form. The whole bathroom is covered in steam. On his skin, water and salty sweat mingle, merging into little droplets that run from his shoulders down his spine, along his thighs. It feels good and steady. Somewhat secure even.
Shirota’s been avoiding him for most of the week. Probably because he was able to tell that Kame’s been pretty mad. Kame feels a little sorry about that. And like he should maybe explain Shirota why he’s so mad in the first place. But it’s not Shirota’s business and it also isn’t that big a deal. It’s not that big a deal at all.
Sighing, Kame leans his head against the cool tiles and closes his eyes. 10 years and he thought he’d have his shit back together by now. But then again, it’s been 7 years since he last saw Jin. Yamapi kept him updated about a few things, sure. But it’s different to have Jin sitting in front of him. And Kame would have never expected it would make him feel that messed up.
---
The doorbell rings just as Kame is about to sit down, wrapped into his fluffy bathrobe that Nakamaru got him for his birthday. For a moment, he considers not to answer. It’s late and the shower relaxed his tired muscles. And Kame really has no clue who it might be, anyway. Whoever it is, that someone’s persistent. So persistent, that it shouldn’t have even surprised Kame to find Jin standing in his doorway.
Jin is just standing there, in a pair of his baggy jeans, a tight white sweater that nicely outlines the parts of his upper body that aren’t covered by the leather jacket hanging from his left shoulder. His hair is straight today, some strands of it are falling into his eyes and Kame can tell that Jin is itching to run his hands through his hair to put the strands back where they are supposed to be and out of his face. 10 years and just the tiniest twitching in Jin’s hand and Kame can still tell.
Without saying a word, Kame steps aside and lets Jin come in. He’s using a new perfume. It’s a light scent that somehow reminds Kame of the ocean and the beach. Kame follows him into the living room where he awkwardly gestures for Jin to sit down. He can see his eyes dart around curiously. It’s not like a lot has changed since the last time Jin has come here. And all of a sudden Kame feels strange about that. Like he’s stuck into the past, stuck into a bunch of memories. Like something has been holding onto him for all these years, never letting him go, never giving him a chance to move forward. It makes him feel uncomfortable. If Jin can tell all that just by looking around, it makes him way too uncomfortable.
“Can I offer you a drink?” Kame asks at last, voice steady and that is good. Jin doesn’t need more proof of his inner turmoil.
“No, thank you. I was just stopping by,” Jin says his eyes now focusing on Kame. His cheeks are flushed as far as Kame can tell. But maybe it’s also just the light.
Jin is nervous. Whatever brought him here makes him nervous. Kame can tell that he’s trying hard not to tap his foot or bite his lip. He’s fingering around with the hem of his sleeves, though. And Kame needs to take his eyes away from those hands. Because what he sees surprises him and even more than that, his mind’s reaction to it is unexpected and difficult. Probably wrong even, in a way.
“Shirota is pretty upset,” Jin says and lets out a deep breath. Kame didn’t realize he was even holding it. “He didn’t know everyone else would be there.”
Kame’s eyes widen and great. Of course that’s the reason Jin would come here for. What else could it even be? Kame is an idiot.
“So?” Kame just asks curtly. He’s feeling mad and furious. What does Jin even know?
Jin. Who sighs heavily and closes his eyes for a moment. As if to brace himself for the battle that is about to come. “You’ve been ignoring him since the dinner and he bugs me about that, because apparently, he thinks that I understand why you are ignoring him. And well, I don’t. And it’s driving me crazy that Shirota just keeps talking and assuming and is too chicken to ask you directly.”
It makes Kame chuckle. In a way. The image of this tall, huge guy being too chicken to talk to tiny Kame. It’s weirdly funny.
“Well, tell him I don’t bite and it’s all good and it’s just been a rough week.” Which is what it has been. Or so Kame tells himself. Truth is, he hasn’t been busier than any other week this year. He just didn’t sleep well or at all with those old ghosts of the past hunting him like that. Ghosts he thought long gone.
“Kame.” There it is. Jin’s don’t fuck with me undertone. Yeah, who is Kame even kidding? But who is Jin to suddenly show up here, anyway?
“Why are you even here?” It makes no sense. No sense at all.
“I told you. Shirota’s been bugging me and I’m tired of that,” Jin replies somewhat impatiently and Kame sighs. It still makes no sense.
“Well, tell him it’s all good and he can take me to lunch tomorrow.” With that, Kame gets up and walks out of the living room. He hears some shuffling and movement and then Jin is behind him, brushes his arm as he walks into the genkan to put his shoes on. He goes without saying goodbye or anything and the few hours of sleep Kame gets that night are haunted by dreams of rings that aren’t in places where they should be anymore.
---
Jin keeps coming. He just shows up on Kame’s doorstep, sits down on his couch, talks and then leaves again. He usually talks about Shirota. And all the ways in which Kame should treat him better. Kame has almost forgotten how protective Jin is of his friends. Especially when he thinks that someone did his friends injustice. But even if he hadn’t forgotten, Jin repeatedly showing up was nothing he would have ever expected.
They are about to wrap up the drama and Kame is glad about that. Because then Jin won’t have a reason to come. Won’t have a reason to stay. Won’t turn his world upside down again. Just a few more weeks and Kame’s brain can focus on something else again.
---
“So… I’m not so sure if it would be better to get that new studio for rent or to suck it up and buy. We definitely need a bigger one. And this one comes with storage space for concert props. It’s not like money is tight, but what if it all just keeps growing and in a year we will have to move again? And what if things suddenly blow up and I’ll end up being unemployed?” Jin sighs and grabs one of the wine bottles from the table.
He has brought three. Because he needed Kame’s opinion on which one goes better with gnocchi in a creamy spinach-bacon sauce.
Kame just nods and pretends to mull it over. He wants to mull it over, but his thoughts are somewhere else. He is so definitely not with it right now.
They have wrapped up the drama three weeks ago with a fun after-party and with daily LINE messages from Shirota. Kame was already glad that the visits have indeed stopped at the same time. Until Jin showed up again. Just like this.
“But okay, enough of all the work-related talk. I’m surprised you like the cheapest one better,” Jin remarks and starts to giggle when he sees the look on Kame’s face.
“I don’t go for expensive, I go for good. And if the cheapest wine is the best, then… well.” Kame shrugs and slowly turns the wineglass in his hand. He tries not to look at Jin or the comfortable way in which he sits right next to Kame. Tries hard not to look at the smug smile and the dark eyes that are following his every move.
---
Kame’s kitchen smells delicious. There’s garlic roasting in one of his expensive frying pans and it’s soon joined by thick pieces of bacon. Yes, this is going to go greatly with the cheap wine.
Jin is humming a familiar tune as he drops the freshly washed spinach into hot water. Kame leans on the counter watching Jin move around as if he’s never done anything else in his life. As if it’s normal that he just shows up with a huge bag full of groceries and cooks them dinner. That wasn’t even what they did way back when.
“If you want to set the table already, just go ahead!” Jin says with a smug smile on his face. Earlier, he forbad Kame to help him, because he was in charge of dinner tonight. So. Setting the table it is. Only that it takes Kame forever, because he is not quite sure who should sit where without making things awkward between them.
---
“We are still friends and we are still married on paper. But… I don’t know. I want to say that we just don’t work as a couple, even though we have made it work for quite some years already.” Jin shrugs and looks at the whiskey in his tumbler.
Kame feels tipsy and light-headed. KAT-TUN wrapped up their tour preparations that day and ended it with a huge celebration. When he came home, Jin was sitting in front of his apartment door giggling and probably as intoxicated as Kame.
“It’s a pain in the ass to keep it from the public. Especially with all the attention we are currently getting.”
“Yeah, I heard. Congratulations, by the way. It’s great that a whole arena tour has worked out for you,” Kame says and leans back in his comfortable massage chair. He is tempted to switch the massage function on, but that’s probably a bad idea considering the alcohol he has consumed so far. “And Meisa in a Hollywood production is an amazing chance. That’s good for her.”
Jin nods and empties his glass. “It is. She is really proud of getting to be the lead character of that movie. And I am too. It’s probably going to make things a little easier when she’s going away for filming, anyway.”
“But it’s still difficult, I suppose,” Kame says. Jin hates lying and pretending. He always has. And this is a big thing.
“Yeah, it sucks. But ever since Kei was born, the paparazzi just got worse. Especially when Meisa decided to continue to pursue her career and aim even higher. And especially when I had my bigger breakthrough and made it to the TV shows again and graduated from playing in community centres.” A shadow covers Jin’s face as he speaks, his eyes are getting just the tiniest bit darker. He shrugs as if to say he doesn’t care, even though Jin should know that he can’t fool Kame. Not on that one.
---
It starts to feel weird when Jin is not coming. Kame has no idea when that happened. Or how. All he knows is that his apartment is empty without Jin. That his nights seem boring and that the hands of the clock move slower than usual.
---
“When did you realize you were gay?” Kame almost drops his chopsticks. He stares at Jin, his eyes wide open. Jin doesn’t seem to notice, though. He just continues to eat the Chinese takeout he got them as if nothing has ever happened. As if he hasn’t just asked that.
“I told you. You were there for it,” Kame says eventually. He starts to feel uncomfortable with a heavy lump forming in his stomach.
They never talk about the past. Never talk about what has been and what is over now. Kame thought it was good that way. They were walking on safe soil. And now Kame feels the ground crumble.
“But you were still experimenting back then.” Jin still isn’t looking at him as he speaks. He is also still occupied with his food.
“Don’t go there.” Kame knows he sounds scary, but he doesn’t care. Experimenting. Kame wasn’t. Not back then. Not anymore. And Jin of all people should know that.
Jin continues to eat in silence while Kame just sits there. His heart is racing and his head is starting to spin. He’s not sure if Jin can tell. If the way Jin shifts uncomfortably where they are sitting on the couch is any indication that Jin knows this was a dumb question.
“Do you want me to go?” Jin asks next. He’s still not looking up, but rather than eating, he’s just picking at his food with his chopsticks.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kame says. Yet, they continue to sit there in silence until Jin suggests watching a movie and leaves before the credits have even started rolling.
---
Jin is drunk. Kame can smell the alcohol in his breath. He is drunk and his cheeks are cold, but his body is hot. His body, which is pressing Kame against the wall. He’s strong, too. Kame continues to fail at winding himself out of the tight grip Jin has on him.
He’s kissing him. Sloppily and without aim or focus. His tongue is pressing against Kame’s somewhat uncontrollably. It makes Kame shiver and pant, makes him lose what little control is left right there. Right wherever he is.
Jin is hard. Kame can feel the bulge where it rubs against his thin sweater. It makes Kame moan against Jin’s mouth which shoots up into a smile in return. There’s hands everywhere , roaming over Kame’s body, his skin burning where Jin has touched him. Even under all of his clothes.
Kame doesn’t know when he starts grabbing Jin back. Doesn’t know when he switches off his brain and just lets Jin have his way with him. Doesn’t realize when he himself gets hard and just let’s passion take over. Doesn’t realize when being rational has stopped to matter.
---
Jin’s skin is salty and sweaty. Kame slides his tongue over it again and again and again. It tastes like lazy Sunday mornings and like after-concert bliss. It tastes like the past and juvenility. Tastes like a time where everything seemed easy and perfect and uncomplicated.
The panting gets heavier, it rings in Kame’s ears making his skin crawl. So long since he’s last heard this. So long since he’s last felt the vibration of Jin’s body beneath his tongue.
Nothing about Jin’s taste has changed. It surprises Kame and arouses him even more. It’s like time has stopped. Just like that. Like there’s never been anyone else touching Jin between then and now. Like there’s never been anyone else who could taste and touch and feel Jin like that. Like Kame is the only one who can make him squirm and moan like that. Like Kame’s is the only name Jin screams as he comes hard and fast. And like Kame is the only one for whom Jin does all of this is return. Like Kame is the only one for whom this feels so right and so wrong at the same time.
---
Sometimes, Jin stays over night. Sometimes, they even have breakfast before they’re leaving for work. Sometimes, Jin is calm and quiet and just watches Kame, listens to what Kame tells him about his own schedule for the day over coffee and cinnamon rolls. Kame is never sure what to make of that. Jin’s silence feels so uncomfortable that he just wants to break it and ends up talking about whatever nonsensical thing he can think of.
---
Jin gets impatient with him. Kame can tell from the way he sometimes starts a cryptic conversation and desperately waits for Kame to just jump onto the ship. Waits for Kame to clear the fog and steer them to clarity. But Kame isn’t even sure where clarity is, so he’s going to stay on solid ground for as long as he can. Or at least until Jin decides to confront him directly.
---
The moonlight is reflecting in Jin’s eyes. It creates a unique glitter that has Kame mesmerized. It takes his focus away, leaves him naked and open and unprepared. It tears all of his walls down, makes him crawl out of that protective cocoon he is in.
“So,” Jin says after his breath has evened out and the sweat on his skin has dried. He’s lying on his back looking at the ceiling. He seems determined. And like he’s not going to let this one go.
“So,” Kame just repeats lamely. As if that is of any help.
Jin sighs and turns onto his side so he can stare right into Kame’s eyes. “I don’t get you,” he says, “I don’t get any of this.”
“Says the one who started all of this,” Kame mutters, immediately regretting it. Or almost regretting it. He knows it sounds sulky and unfair, but it’s true. Why should he be the one to make a decision here, anyway?
They are silent for a while. Kame hopes it’s not the calm before the storm that will make this ship lose control and crash against the next cliff.
“You are better at this than I am.” Matter-of-fact. Just like that. As if Kame is the one who always is in charge of all of this.
“I can’t do it anymore,” Kame says. He feels scared all of a sudden, but he’s sure about it all. He’s had so much time to think about what he wants and what he clearly doesn’t want anymore. Like looking at Jin. Because it distracts him. Because it makes him waver and give into the pleasure rather than doing what he should do. “I can’t have you turn my life upside down again. Hell, this has gone too far already. I don’t even know how this has happened, but. This has gone too far and it should stop.”
Jin is quiet. He stares at Kame with an unreadable expression on his face. Even though Kame is so sure that this was what Jin wanted to hear. Or maybe he just hoped that that’s what Jin wanted to hear. Because it would make both their lives easier if they just thought the same way about this.
“Okay,” he says at last, “so, you fuck me for weeks and now all of a sudden you don’t want to anymore? Just like that? What is it with you?”
“It’s because you always leave.” It comes out as a whisper only. His voice sounds so thin and weak and begging that Kame wants to take it back again right away. “It’s because I think everything is great and awesome and perfect, but in the end you always leave. In the end, I always have to say goodbye. In the end you’re always gone. I lose you as my boyfriend. I lose you as my bandmate. I lose you as my friend. And every time we say goodbye, something breaks and it feels empty and I have no idea how to fill the holes you left. And I am tired of that, Jin. We haven’t talked for seven years and you just come back as if nothing has ever happened.”
There’s movement in the bed. A rustling of blankets and pillows until Jin props his head up on his arms. “I’m sorry,” he whispers into the darkness. He does sound like he is. “It wasn’t easy on me either. I never meant to hurt you, but… I wasn’t ready to be your boyfriend back then. I just wasn’t ready for it and I thought you’d understand. We were too young. I was too young. Saying goodbye to you all of these times hurt me too.”
He sounds vulnerable and Kame almost feels sorry.
“I missed you. I was happy, too. With Meisa and the kids, but… she’s just not you.”
“Jin…” It comes out a little pathetic, sounds a little too desperate in Kame’s ears. But truth is, he’s touched. He feels touched and lightheaded and like someone should really pinch him, because this has to be a dream. This can only be a dream.
Jin is nervous. Kame can tell from the way he bites his lower lip and from the way his body suddenly tenses. It’s cute, somehow. But it’s also dangerous. It makes Kame want to ease the tension, makes him want to take all of Jin’s troubles away.
“Just trust me on this one, okay? I was stupid to let you go. I don’t want to be stupid again.” Jin’s voice is still only a whisper. It warms Kame’s insides in a weird way. Makes him feel fuzzy and stupid. The good kind of stupid. The kind of stupid who doesn’t think about the old hurt and the fear. The kind of stupid who only focuses on the here and now. The kind of stupid that would follow Jin wherever he goes.
Kame turns on his side and wraps an arm around Jin’s form. His skin is soft and warm. It smells like sex and passion and Jin. It smells like them.
“Okay.” It’s all Kame says. It’s all Kame needs to say, before he pulls Jin closer and kisses him like he’s never kissed him before.
---
2026
“It’s over,” Kame hears Jin say through the phone. He sounds upset and tense. At the same time, he sounds like just the heaviest burden was lifted from his shoulders. Kame knows how heavy this burden was. He holds his breath, because he knows there’s more to come. Knows that Jin just needs a moment to collect himself before he can go on.
“Kame, it was amazing. The kids were great and they are so talented and I feel like I can really do this. We made it and now it’s over and I wish they were of age, because this deserves some party.” Jin’s excitement makes Kame giggle. It makes him feel good and warm and right.
“I’m proud of you, Jin,” he says. And he is. Even though he was a little skeptical of the idea of Jin starting to have kids audition to teach them dancing and singing, maybe even acting. Even though he tried to talk Jin out of basically having his own juniors right there. Just like they used to be the juniors for someone else.
It’s almost like he can hear Jin smile through the phone. It makes Kame want to go there right now and kiss him senseless.
“I’ll be back tomorrow night,” Jin replies instead. Kame loves the suggestive undertone and how excited it makes him.
“I can’t wait,” he whispers as he looks out of the window into the cities’ night sky. Bright lights shine through it into the dimly lit apartment, one of them reflects in the tiny rhinestones embed into the ring on the ring Kame’s wears on his left ring finger.
“I love you,” Jin says, his voice deep and warm. And Kame knows there’s no more goodbyes ever again.
End.