Fic: Girl In The Mirror ‘Verse, Chapter 5: Biology and Other Disappointments
Title: Girl In The Mirror ‘Verse, Chapter 5: Biology and Other Disappointments
Author: psyfi_geekgirl
BetaBabe: akkajemo
Characters/Pairings: Twelve, Jack, Martha/Mickey, River
Rating: PG-13
Excerpt: Everything had changed with one simple regeneration, and now the Doctor had to figure out the new rules to a very old game…
Word count: 3,180
Disclaimer: Until she’s Jossed, Twelve is mine-but of course based entirely on stuff that ain’t mine… All hail Auntie Beeb!
A/N*: Also, this was written before s6, so some details might go AU. I’m betting ahead of time on some story elements. We’ll see how my prognosticating goes…
TAKE NOTE: I also do not give anyone permission to post this in whole or in parts anywhere else! To do so would be very dishonest and terminally uncool and your actions would kill kittens, make puppy dogs cry and send the Reapers to eat your thieving flesh...
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
After a makeshift breakfast and some tea, Martha gathered them around the large computer screens in the Med Bay to go over the Doctor’s brain scan results as people started showing up for work in the lab. The multi-coloured 3-D images (a sort of combination of SPECT and CAT-scans) flashed on screens as Martha toggled through them, giving the appearance of a tropical underwater nature movie more than a complex medical report.
“Overnight Bioscans reveal a significant amount of brain activity, Doctor-way more than anticipated.”
“I keep telling you my biology is superior…”
Martha ignored the quip and kept going. “I don’t know enough about Gallifreyan physiology-but this is simply amazing, this data we’re collecting. We’re getting medical info on after-regenerative phenomenon that I never dreamed was medically possible! First of all, there are key differences between the human and Gallifreyan brain. You do have a bigger brain than us, and there’s a whole other tertiary lobe here I don’t even know what it’s for!”
“That’ll be the Autonomic Brain--think of it like a combination of the Thalamus and the Hypothalamus-it regulates mechanical and other bodily functions-“
“Oh,” interrupted Martha, “So you weren’t joking earlier…” The Doctor shook her head. Martha continued, impressed. “Also, it appears that your normal capacity averages out to more than eighty-seven percent-frankly that is amazing!”
Mickey chimed in, “Y’know they say we humans used to have telepathic abilities and when we lost them and now our brains only work to ten percent capacity.”
“Thanks for that complete bunk of a science lesson, dear-“
“What? That’s not right?”
“Not even close. It’s a complete myth that we only use ten percent of our brains-we actually use more than thirty-five-Cos if you think about it there is actually no part of the brain that we could afford to do without. Plus, on an evolutionary scale, if ninety-percent were useless we would have downsized anyway. No, they’re referring incorrectly to the amount that we’re able to utilize at once.”
“Well,” the Doctor protested, “he is kinda right. Not about the ten percent, but about the telepathic abilities.”
Jack looked doubtful. “Doctor? Seriously? Ancient humans had a telepathic ability we lost?”
“No,” the Doctor answered. “Humans didn’t, but the human/alien hybrids that came about after-shall we say-extra-curricular activities with the extraterrestrials that visited this planet over the millennia did have telepathic abilities…”
The three just stared at her.
“Oh, come on! Haven’t any of you heard about the ‘Ancient Astronauts?’ The Nazca lines in Peru? The Mayan King Pekal-now he knew how to party! Haven’t you ever seen Ghirlandaio’s ‘The Madonna with Saint Giovannino’ with the UFO in the background? And the Pumapunku temple near Bolivia-weeeell, that’s a bit of a fib, actually-Cos that was me, I’m afraid. I helped a bit with the engineering, they were all so nice when I helped them defeat a Gunufroxxis Vos that was terrorizing their village I just couldn’t say no. That lot sure knew how to party, too. And they made the best bread ever!”
Mickey shook his head, “Ancient Astronaut theories? Next you’ll be telling us that Scientology’s the way to go!”
The Doctor screwed her face up in disgust. “Oh, are you kidding? L. Ron was a complete nutter! And a rubbish science fiction writer…”
Jack interrupted her rant, “Doctor, was there a point to this?”
“Yes, in that I have a telepathic ability and that does take up quite a bit of brain space.”
“So she’s normal for a Timelord-Timelady-whatever,” said Jack.
“Seemingly,” said Martha, “at first. But then we fast forwarded through the real-time imaging that neglected to show anything out of the ordinary-for a Timelord-and then we saw something amazing.” Martha looked up and called out to a med tech across the room, “Carly, are the second half of the Bioscans on the Doctor ready?”
Carly, a very young blonde woman in a white lab coat walked over with a DVD and popped it into the computer. “Here you are, Doctor Smith.”
Martha thanked her and pulled up the image stream. “Now, look at this, occurring at about 03:17 hours.”
A time counter showed in the top right-hand corner of the screen, and when it reached 03:17:33, all hell broke loose on the imaging scans.
“What??” Jack and Mickey gaped at the images of the Doctor’s brain that showed a kaleidoscope of colours radiating through various parts of her brain like a spasming, psychedelic sea anemone. Only the Doctor appeared untroubled.
Martha nodded enthusiastically at their surprise, having seen it coming. "I know, right?"
“What was that multicoloured mess?” gasped Jack.
“I don’t know. I was hoping the Doctor would be able to make some sense out of it.”
But, the Doctor wasn’t saying much, staring at all of the info on the screens.
“Is there anything analogous to human pathology that we could compare this to?” asked Jack.
“The closest thing we would get to is a epileptic episode. Except this isn’t epilepsy.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, there are none of the hallmarks of human epilepsy-“
“This isn’t epilepsy, its overactive telepathy of some sort,” the Doctor announced.
The three just looked at her. “How would that happen? Was there damage during the regeneration?”
“No. Nothing like that could happen since the process rewrites all of the cells in my body-all damage is fixed by regeneration, like nanogenes on a massive scale.” The Doctor winked at Jack. Something caught her eye on the monitor. Puzzled, she moved forward and squinted at the scans. “I don’t know. But it shouldn’t be happening.” She mumbled to herself, rubbing her eye in frustration, “Maybe the Ood are interfering somehow? They have gotten extremely powerful in a very short amount of time…”
A beeping noise interrupted them. Jack indicated he’d received a call, excused himself and stepped away several paces to talk.
“So? Then am I cleared for flight, Doctor Smith?” the Doctor asked.
“Well, apparently there’s nothing organically wrong with you, so I don’t see why not,” agreed Martha.
Jack returned to the conversation. “That was my team in the US,” he announced. “Doctor, I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go.”
“What? Oh Jack, I thought you’d want to come with me? Whatdya say, one more run for old times sake?”
Jack shook his head and held up his phone. “I’m sorry, but they need me. Raincheck?”
The Doctor looked absolutely crestfallen. She nodded slightly several times and concentrated on looking at the floor, trying not to look disappointed.
“Oh, you’ll do just fine without me. Plus, I’ve got this thing working now,” he patted his Vortex Manipulator. “Who knows, maybe someday I’ll just show up on your doorstep.”
“You do that again and the TARDIS will likely do everything in her power to fling you off just like last time. No, the next time you show up you’re entering through the door, just like everybody else.”
“That’s a deal,” smiled Jack, hugging the Doctor goodbye.
Jack’s eyes twinkled as he got one last good flirt in: “I gotta say, Doctor-with those extra parts you’re a lot more fun to hug now.”
“Jaaaack…”
Stepping back, Jack depressed a button and in a blinding blue flash of crackling electricity and a goodbye wink, he was gone.
Mickey snorted and looked at the Doctor. “So? That’s it then? You off again, too?”
The Doctor looked chagrined. “Well, I was hoping someone would come with me? Y’know, new me, new eyes, everything’s all new. Take this new body out for a spin, see what there is to see?”
Mickey shook his head. “No can do, boss. My time traveling days are over.”
Carly, the med tech, walked up. Excusing herself, she handed Martha a clipboard to mull over.
Martha nodded, “I’m sorry, Doctor. Mickey’s right. We’ve just too many responsibilities here.”
The Doctor nodded, trying not to appear too crushed. She eyed Carly nearby. “How ‘bout you, Carly-want to see all of time and space?”
Carly looked her up and down, warily. “What, with my mum? Are you kidding or something? I’m sorry, whoever you are, but-“
Martha interrupted. “That’ll do, Carly,” and she waved her hand, dismissing her. Mickey chuckled softly into his hand. Martha elbowed him.
Mickey continued to chuckle, not so secretly loving it. “I told you, Doc-it’s a whole new world now! You won’t be able to flash your smile, chat up the girls and pull them into your space-lair like you used to. To them you just look like their mums or their sisters. No ulterior motives to motivate them now!”
The Doctor nodded, humiliated, and looked away. She walked slowly to the TARDIS. Despite Mickey’s inelegant ribbing, it looked like he just might be right. Everything had changed with one simple regeneration, and now the Doctor had to figure out the new rules to a very old game. “Well, I guess that’s my cue, then.”
Martha looked concerned. “You’re going alone?”
“Guess so… But, don’t worry about me. I’ve got a friend in the fifty-first century that might not mind the new me…”
“Doctor, it’s not that I mind the new you-“
She cut Martha off. “No. It’s all right. I’ll be fine. Always am, right?” She rubbed the TARDIS door. “I’ve got my TARDIS to look after me…”
“Please don’t stay away again,” Martha blurted out. “If you stuck around maybe we could get used to everything…”
“You mean get used to me.”
Neither Mickey or Martha could refute what the Doctor had said, so they said nothing at all. The Doctor nodded. So, it was settled. She turned the key in the door and pushed the door open. “This is not goodbye. I promise.” She snapped off a quick salute to them and disappeared inside the TARDIS.
Mickey put his arm around his wife as the TARDIS dematerialized in front of them.
Inside, the Doctor was busily flipping switches and furiously pumping levers, anxious to avoid the bubbling feelings of rejection from her old mates. She was impatient to get going, but she set her destination coordinates carefully; for while she’d only been there once before in her last incarnation, she’d never landed inside the house. She also had to make her best guess at an appropriate year-another infuriating side effect of always encountering Doctor River Song completely out of order. She cut the engines quickly-and even threw the blue stabilizers to quiet her materialization, in a pre-emptive peacemaking effort.
The Doctor took a deep breath, pushed open the doors and stepped out. She was barely outside the doors when she saw River standing about three paces away with her arms folded across her chest and an eyebrow angled toward the ceiling.
“Which one are you?” said River archly. “Did he send you out here to make sure I’m in a good mood after the last time?”
The Doctor just stared at her, gauging by past experience that River in a prickly mood was to be treated as if one had just come across a venomous viper…
“Don’t be so scared-I’m only mad at him.” She eyed the Doctor up and down-clearly not recognizing this incarnation. “Are you Rachel?” she asked.
The Doctor blinked and shook her head, trying to figure out how to best play this hand.
“Sorry,” said River, shaking her curls around. She waved a hand at her. “Please don’t tell him I said that, spoilers and all…”
“River…” started the Doctor.
“Look. You can go in and send him out. I promise I won’t hurt him. Much. All he has to do is say he’s sorry.”
“River, it is me. I’m the Doctor.”
River laughed. “So he finally found a funny one.”
“No, it is-“ the Doctor ran an anxious hand through her hair. This did not bode well. “I thought you’d met every version of me-didn’t any of me ever tell you about me?”
River suddenly eyed the strange woman in her living room with growing trepidation. “What are you talking about? Who are you?”
“It’s me. The Doctor. The Twelfth one. It just-I just happened. Didn’t you know about me?”
River’s eyes widened. “I don’t believe you.”
The Doctor nodded. “I’m early, aren’t I? I screwed it up, again as usual. I’m too early. You don’t know about me, do you?”
“I’ve never seen you before.”
“When was the last time you saw me?”
“You know I can’t tell you that.”
“Look. Things aren’t good. Things aren’t going well. I don’t know why this happened to me and I’m having trouble-I just-I need…” The Doctor stammered, uncomfortable with her admission. “I need you, River.”
River squinted disbelievingly and she shook her head imperceptibly. “I don’t know who you are, but the Doctor-the real Doctor-would never admit that.”
“No,” retorted the Doctor, “your Doctor would probably never admit that. You have met him already, haven’t you-your Doctor? You already know him, don’t you?”
River’s jaw set.
“Please,” the Doctor held her hands up to her in supplication. “You know I’m unarmed. I’d never hurt you. Just… please,” she moved closer to her. “I know you know me. Just let me prove it to you.”
River nodded.
The Doctor swooped in and caught River’s lips, kissing her. River’s arms rose to the Doctor’s shoulders at first in an effort to push her off, but she kept kissing her. Finally she stopped struggling, feeling the Doctor’s fingers wrapped in her hair, caressing her jaw line... When the Doctor pulled away, River’s eyes were still shut tight, still a bit woozy.
She knew that kiss anywhere.
It was the Doctor’s kiss. Her Doctor’s kiss.
She snapped opened her eyes just in time to see the TARDIS door shut.
“DOCTOR!!” She yelled, her heart in her throat. As she went for the door it started to dematerialize. She scrabbled for her TARDIS key and screamed out to the Doctor, but it faded out of time. “DOCTOR! I’M SORRY! DOCTOR, COME BACK!”
But the TARDIS was gone.
Thirty centuries earlier and only seconds later, The TARDIS materialized back on twenty-first century Earth, in London, by the Millennium Bridge. The Doctor sailed out the doors, her hands jammed in her jacket pockets. She was deep in thought, and deeply hurt. She raced across the bridge in an effort to get away from her own feelings and darker thoughts. It seemed she was the regeneration who was desperate for the Nostalgia Tour and yet had a bunch of former companions who couldn’t be bothered with her. Dejected, she migrated over to the edge of the bridge.
Looking into the water, she saw the reflection that she was only starting to get acquainted with: Her new face. But this face had already caused her so much trouble! She looked into the familiar, chocolate eyes and felt a surge of rage and paralyzing self-pity. Everything the Doctor had become used to over Nine-hundred and ten-odd years had been completely rewritten with one regeneration! Who exactly the hell was he now as a she? She thought of all of those pithy little motivational speeches she’d given Donna-“it’s what’s inside that counts,” blah-blah-blah-bollocks!
Because if she was the same, why did no one seem to treat her the same? Why did her closest friends not want the Doctor around anymore? What the hell was she going to do now?
Her hands, still jammed in her coat pocket, rubbed up against a wadded up piece of rough fabric. Annoyed, she yanked it out and unclenched her fist to reveal a bunched-up blue bowtie...
Oi. Eyes on the tie. Look at me. I wear it and I don't care. Trust me?
Yes
That’s why it’s cool.
Except it wasn’t anymore.
She had no idea what this experience was designed to teach her. A hot tear ran down her cheek. She didn’t need the raggedy thing anymore! In despair, she arched her palm and opened her fingers wider, allowing the breeze to take the bowtie.
It flew a short distance before plummeting into the Thames. The Doctor watched it disappear beneath the greenish water, rippling the image of her face to an indistinct blur.
If only it were that easy to erase all of her mistakes.
Feeling she was being watched, she turned and noticed that just a short distance away, there was a figure in a long blue military coat waiting for her at the end of the bridge.
“A little bird told me you might be here.” He tapped his Vortex Manipulator.
The Doctor just looked at him.
She stood there, looking at Jack helplessly for a few moments until something inside her broke into pieces. “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I’m sorry I left you on your own all those years back and several millions of years from now. I regret doing that to you and it wasn’t right. I never apologised for it and I should have. And I’m sorry for that, too.”
Jack just stared at her for a few moments, letting the full meaning of what was being said to him sink in. “Whoa,” he said in amazement. “That’s… different.”
“Yeah…” she laughed bitterly. “So, you can add ‘morose’ and ‘desperate’ to your growing list of characteristics this regeneration appears to display...”
“Oh, shut up, Doctor,” Jack squeaked. “You had me at ‘I’m sorry.’”
Jack opened his arms wide and the Doctor ran and threw herself into them. Funny, but in this body’s regeneration, he felt like strength and warmth incarnate, and she soaked him in like a roaring fire on a cold rainy day.
It seemed as if they’d held each other only for a few minutes, but with each passing second the Doctor felt herself grow more composed and self-assured. Finally, as they pulled away from each other, Jack spoke-but not without a bit of a lump in his throat, for he had waited so, so long for the Doctor’s apology. But true to form, he tried to misdirect attention from his reaction. “Now, if you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, I need you. No, no-not in that way-“ he said, off the Doctor’s look, “at least, not yet. Buy me dinner and a movie first and then we’ll talk… But here, look. Torchwood found this…”
Jack withdrew a slim metallic artifact from his jacket and bobbled it in his hands. “We can’t translate it with anything we have. We were hoping you could help us.”
The Doctor reached for the item and rolled her eyes at the familiar, “Hello Sweetie” greeting that instantly assaulted her eyes.
“What?” asked Jack. “No good?”
“No, it’s just that it’s-it’s a message of sorts-for me. Somebody I…” She trailed off, unsure of what to categorize her as, now… “It’s just a friend of mine,” she settled with. “She usually wants a ride. It’s all here, her usual calling card with dates and coordinates...”
But the Doctor blanched as she finished reading it. “No,” she gasped, “NO! That’s… impossible!”
Jack watched the Doctor in worried curiosity. Her face pale, her brown eyes widened in fear, the Doctor gaped alarmingly at Jack.
“What is it, Doctor? Where’s it from?”
“It’s present day… It’s Gallifrey!”
To be continued in Chapter 6: Ripple Effects
* In addition to NuWho references, Gallifreyan biology details came in part from This Site (a compendium of info from the DW books that will make you blind but is chock full of good info). There's a reference to the DW audiobook Pest Control, and one line from Jerry Maguire ;)
Author: psyfi_geekgirl
BetaBabe: akkajemo
Characters/Pairings: Twelve, Jack, Martha/Mickey, River
Rating: PG-13
Excerpt: Everything had changed with one simple regeneration, and now the Doctor had to figure out the new rules to a very old game…
Word count: 3,180
Disclaimer: Until she’s Jossed, Twelve is mine-but of course based entirely on stuff that ain’t mine… All hail Auntie Beeb!
A/N*: Also, this was written before s6, so some details might go AU. I’m betting ahead of time on some story elements. We’ll see how my prognosticating goes…
TAKE NOTE: I also do not give anyone permission to post this in whole or in parts anywhere else! To do so would be very dishonest and terminally uncool and your actions would kill kittens, make puppy dogs cry and send the Reapers to eat your thieving flesh...
Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
After a makeshift breakfast and some tea, Martha gathered them around the large computer screens in the Med Bay to go over the Doctor’s brain scan results as people started showing up for work in the lab. The multi-coloured 3-D images (a sort of combination of SPECT and CAT-scans) flashed on screens as Martha toggled through them, giving the appearance of a tropical underwater nature movie more than a complex medical report.
“Overnight Bioscans reveal a significant amount of brain activity, Doctor-way more than anticipated.”
“I keep telling you my biology is superior…”
Martha ignored the quip and kept going. “I don’t know enough about Gallifreyan physiology-but this is simply amazing, this data we’re collecting. We’re getting medical info on after-regenerative phenomenon that I never dreamed was medically possible! First of all, there are key differences between the human and Gallifreyan brain. You do have a bigger brain than us, and there’s a whole other tertiary lobe here I don’t even know what it’s for!”
“That’ll be the Autonomic Brain--think of it like a combination of the Thalamus and the Hypothalamus-it regulates mechanical and other bodily functions-“
“Oh,” interrupted Martha, “So you weren’t joking earlier…” The Doctor shook her head. Martha continued, impressed. “Also, it appears that your normal capacity averages out to more than eighty-seven percent-frankly that is amazing!”
Mickey chimed in, “Y’know they say we humans used to have telepathic abilities and when we lost them and now our brains only work to ten percent capacity.”
“Thanks for that complete bunk of a science lesson, dear-“
“What? That’s not right?”
“Not even close. It’s a complete myth that we only use ten percent of our brains-we actually use more than thirty-five-Cos if you think about it there is actually no part of the brain that we could afford to do without. Plus, on an evolutionary scale, if ninety-percent were useless we would have downsized anyway. No, they’re referring incorrectly to the amount that we’re able to utilize at once.”
“Well,” the Doctor protested, “he is kinda right. Not about the ten percent, but about the telepathic abilities.”
Jack looked doubtful. “Doctor? Seriously? Ancient humans had a telepathic ability we lost?”
“No,” the Doctor answered. “Humans didn’t, but the human/alien hybrids that came about after-shall we say-extra-curricular activities with the extraterrestrials that visited this planet over the millennia did have telepathic abilities…”
The three just stared at her.
“Oh, come on! Haven’t any of you heard about the ‘Ancient Astronauts?’ The Nazca lines in Peru? The Mayan King Pekal-now he knew how to party! Haven’t you ever seen Ghirlandaio’s ‘The Madonna with Saint Giovannino’ with the UFO in the background? And the Pumapunku temple near Bolivia-weeeell, that’s a bit of a fib, actually-Cos that was me, I’m afraid. I helped a bit with the engineering, they were all so nice when I helped them defeat a Gunufroxxis Vos that was terrorizing their village I just couldn’t say no. That lot sure knew how to party, too. And they made the best bread ever!”
Mickey shook his head, “Ancient Astronaut theories? Next you’ll be telling us that Scientology’s the way to go!”
The Doctor screwed her face up in disgust. “Oh, are you kidding? L. Ron was a complete nutter! And a rubbish science fiction writer…”
Jack interrupted her rant, “Doctor, was there a point to this?”
“Yes, in that I have a telepathic ability and that does take up quite a bit of brain space.”
“So she’s normal for a Timelord-Timelady-whatever,” said Jack.
“Seemingly,” said Martha, “at first. But then we fast forwarded through the real-time imaging that neglected to show anything out of the ordinary-for a Timelord-and then we saw something amazing.” Martha looked up and called out to a med tech across the room, “Carly, are the second half of the Bioscans on the Doctor ready?”
Carly, a very young blonde woman in a white lab coat walked over with a DVD and popped it into the computer. “Here you are, Doctor Smith.”
Martha thanked her and pulled up the image stream. “Now, look at this, occurring at about 03:17 hours.”
A time counter showed in the top right-hand corner of the screen, and when it reached 03:17:33, all hell broke loose on the imaging scans.
“What??” Jack and Mickey gaped at the images of the Doctor’s brain that showed a kaleidoscope of colours radiating through various parts of her brain like a spasming, psychedelic sea anemone. Only the Doctor appeared untroubled.
Martha nodded enthusiastically at their surprise, having seen it coming. "I know, right?"
“What was that multicoloured mess?” gasped Jack.
“I don’t know. I was hoping the Doctor would be able to make some sense out of it.”
But, the Doctor wasn’t saying much, staring at all of the info on the screens.
“Is there anything analogous to human pathology that we could compare this to?” asked Jack.
“The closest thing we would get to is a epileptic episode. Except this isn’t epilepsy.”
“How do you know?”
“Well, there are none of the hallmarks of human epilepsy-“
“This isn’t epilepsy, its overactive telepathy of some sort,” the Doctor announced.
The three just looked at her. “How would that happen? Was there damage during the regeneration?”
“No. Nothing like that could happen since the process rewrites all of the cells in my body-all damage is fixed by regeneration, like nanogenes on a massive scale.” The Doctor winked at Jack. Something caught her eye on the monitor. Puzzled, she moved forward and squinted at the scans. “I don’t know. But it shouldn’t be happening.” She mumbled to herself, rubbing her eye in frustration, “Maybe the Ood are interfering somehow? They have gotten extremely powerful in a very short amount of time…”
A beeping noise interrupted them. Jack indicated he’d received a call, excused himself and stepped away several paces to talk.
“So? Then am I cleared for flight, Doctor Smith?” the Doctor asked.
“Well, apparently there’s nothing organically wrong with you, so I don’t see why not,” agreed Martha.
Jack returned to the conversation. “That was my team in the US,” he announced. “Doctor, I’m sorry. I’ve gotta go.”
“What? Oh Jack, I thought you’d want to come with me? Whatdya say, one more run for old times sake?”
Jack shook his head and held up his phone. “I’m sorry, but they need me. Raincheck?”
The Doctor looked absolutely crestfallen. She nodded slightly several times and concentrated on looking at the floor, trying not to look disappointed.
“Oh, you’ll do just fine without me. Plus, I’ve got this thing working now,” he patted his Vortex Manipulator. “Who knows, maybe someday I’ll just show up on your doorstep.”
“You do that again and the TARDIS will likely do everything in her power to fling you off just like last time. No, the next time you show up you’re entering through the door, just like everybody else.”
“That’s a deal,” smiled Jack, hugging the Doctor goodbye.
Jack’s eyes twinkled as he got one last good flirt in: “I gotta say, Doctor-with those extra parts you’re a lot more fun to hug now.”
“Jaaaack…”
Stepping back, Jack depressed a button and in a blinding blue flash of crackling electricity and a goodbye wink, he was gone.
Mickey snorted and looked at the Doctor. “So? That’s it then? You off again, too?”
The Doctor looked chagrined. “Well, I was hoping someone would come with me? Y’know, new me, new eyes, everything’s all new. Take this new body out for a spin, see what there is to see?”
Mickey shook his head. “No can do, boss. My time traveling days are over.”
Carly, the med tech, walked up. Excusing herself, she handed Martha a clipboard to mull over.
Martha nodded, “I’m sorry, Doctor. Mickey’s right. We’ve just too many responsibilities here.”
The Doctor nodded, trying not to appear too crushed. She eyed Carly nearby. “How ‘bout you, Carly-want to see all of time and space?”
Carly looked her up and down, warily. “What, with my mum? Are you kidding or something? I’m sorry, whoever you are, but-“
Martha interrupted. “That’ll do, Carly,” and she waved her hand, dismissing her. Mickey chuckled softly into his hand. Martha elbowed him.
Mickey continued to chuckle, not so secretly loving it. “I told you, Doc-it’s a whole new world now! You won’t be able to flash your smile, chat up the girls and pull them into your space-lair like you used to. To them you just look like their mums or their sisters. No ulterior motives to motivate them now!”
The Doctor nodded, humiliated, and looked away. She walked slowly to the TARDIS. Despite Mickey’s inelegant ribbing, it looked like he just might be right. Everything had changed with one simple regeneration, and now the Doctor had to figure out the new rules to a very old game. “Well, I guess that’s my cue, then.”
Martha looked concerned. “You’re going alone?”
“Guess so… But, don’t worry about me. I’ve got a friend in the fifty-first century that might not mind the new me…”
“Doctor, it’s not that I mind the new you-“
She cut Martha off. “No. It’s all right. I’ll be fine. Always am, right?” She rubbed the TARDIS door. “I’ve got my TARDIS to look after me…”
“Please don’t stay away again,” Martha blurted out. “If you stuck around maybe we could get used to everything…”
“You mean get used to me.”
Neither Mickey or Martha could refute what the Doctor had said, so they said nothing at all. The Doctor nodded. So, it was settled. She turned the key in the door and pushed the door open. “This is not goodbye. I promise.” She snapped off a quick salute to them and disappeared inside the TARDIS.
Mickey put his arm around his wife as the TARDIS dematerialized in front of them.
Inside, the Doctor was busily flipping switches and furiously pumping levers, anxious to avoid the bubbling feelings of rejection from her old mates. She was impatient to get going, but she set her destination coordinates carefully; for while she’d only been there once before in her last incarnation, she’d never landed inside the house. She also had to make her best guess at an appropriate year-another infuriating side effect of always encountering Doctor River Song completely out of order. She cut the engines quickly-and even threw the blue stabilizers to quiet her materialization, in a pre-emptive peacemaking effort.
The Doctor took a deep breath, pushed open the doors and stepped out. She was barely outside the doors when she saw River standing about three paces away with her arms folded across her chest and an eyebrow angled toward the ceiling.
“Which one are you?” said River archly. “Did he send you out here to make sure I’m in a good mood after the last time?”
The Doctor just stared at her, gauging by past experience that River in a prickly mood was to be treated as if one had just come across a venomous viper…
“Don’t be so scared-I’m only mad at him.” She eyed the Doctor up and down-clearly not recognizing this incarnation. “Are you Rachel?” she asked.
The Doctor blinked and shook her head, trying to figure out how to best play this hand.
“Sorry,” said River, shaking her curls around. She waved a hand at her. “Please don’t tell him I said that, spoilers and all…”
“River…” started the Doctor.
“Look. You can go in and send him out. I promise I won’t hurt him. Much. All he has to do is say he’s sorry.”
“River, it is me. I’m the Doctor.”
River laughed. “So he finally found a funny one.”
“No, it is-“ the Doctor ran an anxious hand through her hair. This did not bode well. “I thought you’d met every version of me-didn’t any of me ever tell you about me?”
River suddenly eyed the strange woman in her living room with growing trepidation. “What are you talking about? Who are you?”
“It’s me. The Doctor. The Twelfth one. It just-I just happened. Didn’t you know about me?”
River’s eyes widened. “I don’t believe you.”
The Doctor nodded. “I’m early, aren’t I? I screwed it up, again as usual. I’m too early. You don’t know about me, do you?”
“I’ve never seen you before.”
“When was the last time you saw me?”
“You know I can’t tell you that.”
“Look. Things aren’t good. Things aren’t going well. I don’t know why this happened to me and I’m having trouble-I just-I need…” The Doctor stammered, uncomfortable with her admission. “I need you, River.”
River squinted disbelievingly and she shook her head imperceptibly. “I don’t know who you are, but the Doctor-the real Doctor-would never admit that.”
“No,” retorted the Doctor, “your Doctor would probably never admit that. You have met him already, haven’t you-your Doctor? You already know him, don’t you?”
River’s jaw set.
“Please,” the Doctor held her hands up to her in supplication. “You know I’m unarmed. I’d never hurt you. Just… please,” she moved closer to her. “I know you know me. Just let me prove it to you.”
River nodded.
The Doctor swooped in and caught River’s lips, kissing her. River’s arms rose to the Doctor’s shoulders at first in an effort to push her off, but she kept kissing her. Finally she stopped struggling, feeling the Doctor’s fingers wrapped in her hair, caressing her jaw line... When the Doctor pulled away, River’s eyes were still shut tight, still a bit woozy.
She knew that kiss anywhere.
It was the Doctor’s kiss. Her Doctor’s kiss.
She snapped opened her eyes just in time to see the TARDIS door shut.
“DOCTOR!!” She yelled, her heart in her throat. As she went for the door it started to dematerialize. She scrabbled for her TARDIS key and screamed out to the Doctor, but it faded out of time. “DOCTOR! I’M SORRY! DOCTOR, COME BACK!”
But the TARDIS was gone.
Thirty centuries earlier and only seconds later, The TARDIS materialized back on twenty-first century Earth, in London, by the Millennium Bridge. The Doctor sailed out the doors, her hands jammed in her jacket pockets. She was deep in thought, and deeply hurt. She raced across the bridge in an effort to get away from her own feelings and darker thoughts. It seemed she was the regeneration who was desperate for the Nostalgia Tour and yet had a bunch of former companions who couldn’t be bothered with her. Dejected, she migrated over to the edge of the bridge.
Looking into the water, she saw the reflection that she was only starting to get acquainted with: Her new face. But this face had already caused her so much trouble! She looked into the familiar, chocolate eyes and felt a surge of rage and paralyzing self-pity. Everything the Doctor had become used to over Nine-hundred and ten-odd years had been completely rewritten with one regeneration! Who exactly the hell was he now as a she? She thought of all of those pithy little motivational speeches she’d given Donna-“it’s what’s inside that counts,” blah-blah-blah-bollocks!
Because if she was the same, why did no one seem to treat her the same? Why did her closest friends not want the Doctor around anymore? What the hell was she going to do now?
Her hands, still jammed in her coat pocket, rubbed up against a wadded up piece of rough fabric. Annoyed, she yanked it out and unclenched her fist to reveal a bunched-up blue bowtie...
Oi. Eyes on the tie. Look at me. I wear it and I don't care. Trust me?
Yes
That’s why it’s cool.
Except it wasn’t anymore.
She had no idea what this experience was designed to teach her. A hot tear ran down her cheek. She didn’t need the raggedy thing anymore! In despair, she arched her palm and opened her fingers wider, allowing the breeze to take the bowtie.
It flew a short distance before plummeting into the Thames. The Doctor watched it disappear beneath the greenish water, rippling the image of her face to an indistinct blur.
If only it were that easy to erase all of her mistakes.
Feeling she was being watched, she turned and noticed that just a short distance away, there was a figure in a long blue military coat waiting for her at the end of the bridge.
“A little bird told me you might be here.” He tapped his Vortex Manipulator.
The Doctor just looked at him.
She stood there, looking at Jack helplessly for a few moments until something inside her broke into pieces. “I’m sorry,” she blurted. “I’m sorry I left you on your own all those years back and several millions of years from now. I regret doing that to you and it wasn’t right. I never apologised for it and I should have. And I’m sorry for that, too.”
Jack just stared at her for a few moments, letting the full meaning of what was being said to him sink in. “Whoa,” he said in amazement. “That’s… different.”
“Yeah…” she laughed bitterly. “So, you can add ‘morose’ and ‘desperate’ to your growing list of characteristics this regeneration appears to display...”
“Oh, shut up, Doctor,” Jack squeaked. “You had me at ‘I’m sorry.’”
Jack opened his arms wide and the Doctor ran and threw herself into them. Funny, but in this body’s regeneration, he felt like strength and warmth incarnate, and she soaked him in like a roaring fire on a cold rainy day.
It seemed as if they’d held each other only for a few minutes, but with each passing second the Doctor felt herself grow more composed and self-assured. Finally, as they pulled away from each other, Jack spoke-but not without a bit of a lump in his throat, for he had waited so, so long for the Doctor’s apology. But true to form, he tried to misdirect attention from his reaction. “Now, if you’re done feeling sorry for yourself, I need you. No, no-not in that way-“ he said, off the Doctor’s look, “at least, not yet. Buy me dinner and a movie first and then we’ll talk… But here, look. Torchwood found this…”
Jack withdrew a slim metallic artifact from his jacket and bobbled it in his hands. “We can’t translate it with anything we have. We were hoping you could help us.”
The Doctor reached for the item and rolled her eyes at the familiar, “Hello Sweetie” greeting that instantly assaulted her eyes.
“What?” asked Jack. “No good?”
“No, it’s just that it’s-it’s a message of sorts-for me. Somebody I…” She trailed off, unsure of what to categorize her as, now… “It’s just a friend of mine,” she settled with. “She usually wants a ride. It’s all here, her usual calling card with dates and coordinates...”
But the Doctor blanched as she finished reading it. “No,” she gasped, “NO! That’s… impossible!”
Jack watched the Doctor in worried curiosity. Her face pale, her brown eyes widened in fear, the Doctor gaped alarmingly at Jack.
“What is it, Doctor? Where’s it from?”
“It’s present day… It’s Gallifrey!”
To be continued in Chapter 6: Ripple Effects
* In addition to NuWho references, Gallifreyan biology details came in part from This Site (a compendium of info from the DW books that will make you blind but is chock full of good info). There's a reference to the DW audiobook Pest Control, and one line from Jerry Maguire ;)