13 Purple Files

[proudambassador]

[The writing is messy, as the writer is being jostled quite a bit. It probably wouldn't be recognizable if the sentence structure wasn't so distinct.]

This, it is ridiculous! There have been ridiculous things before, but this, it is the most! My chair will not stop! I cannot sit without them taking off and playing music of all things

Comments

ping!

[white_disciple]

Furniture that moves? Perhaps you should be glad they're only running away from you, Ambassador.

[proudambassador]

Away from? My good Rauxes, I would be happy, no, delighted, no, overjoyed if they merely ran away from me.

These, they run away with me!

[white_disciple]

Oh my... well I only meant that at least they aren't actively trying to hurt you, as convenient as it all is.

[proudambassador]

Convenient? My chair, it is running. While I am sitting. I think it would like to hurt me.

[bal_daisy]

I remember that!

I thought it was fun.

[proudambassador]

Fun? Fun? My good Krile. If it came with a padded mat, yes. Here, I have no control.

[bal_daisy]

It didn't seem that bad when it happened to me. If you can get back to your house can you grab a pillow?

[proudambassador]

A pillow. That, it would do a great deal of good. I will hope.

[live_ringer]

You think it's ridiculous? Try being on the receiving end.

And believe me, I was very, very tempted to shoot.

[proudambassador]

Yes, yes, at least you had control over your legs, hm? I am somewhat sorry, my good man, but perhaps dodging, it would be an idea?

[live_ringer]

Dodging in time entails knowing it's coming. For a heavy guy on a chair, you sure zipped around that corner quickly.

And really, is there anything keeping you on that thing?

[proudambassador]

The shouts of "Stop, stop, you bastard son of a thrice-damned peasant" were not warning?

The chair, it has arms. And I am clinging to them with all of my might since I do not care to be flung off an island.

[lingeringlegacy]

Does it happen with any chair?

[proudambassador]

Any chair, my dear Stellaris, that I sit in. So. I am, it seems, supposed to sit on the floor alone. And this, I do not appreciate.

[lingeringlegacy]

I see. Would we need to reschedule our teahouse trip?

[proudambassador]

Are there cushions?

[viva_la_materia]

They don't fly, do they?

[proudambassador]

My good person. Do not give them ideas. The last thing it needs to do, on top of this, is fly, hm?

[viva_la_materia]

Sooo, they don't fly.

[proudambassador]

And people, they do not live in a giant tree.

Anything, it can go worse.