Charms

Aug 01, 2006 16:03


Charms 1/3

One Sheet of Paper

After being the sole survivor of a horrific car accident, Jesse meets the man his father thought of as a second son.

Have a nice day. )

charms, jesse/kevin, original fiction

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Comments 2

cifuentesb July 15 2007, 03:24:13 UTC
I really liked this, it was lovely. A very enjoyable read. I loved both Kevin and Jesse.

My only 'but' is that it seems a bit rushed. You might wanna give us some escenes with a bit more interaction in them, leading up to the Non-Date Date Scene and a bit more afterwards, ending in Kevin's Freak Out And Jesse's Confession Scene.

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juneprota July 15 2007, 17:00:45 UTC
Oh, a real critique. So exciting. I haven't posted original fic in awhile. I forgot how cool people are about that, actually giving real criticisms. I'm glad you liked it, and I totally understand what you say when it feels rushed, because it kind of was. I really don't think I gave the story justice in that regard, but I was ready to be done with it. I just wasn't having that much fun with the characters. C'est la vie. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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