Cutting My Losses
Cutting My Losses 1/14
Who the Fuck is Greg?
Justin and Greg are long time friends and they're both having some relationship woes.
Cutting My Losses
Chapter 1
Justin sat on the bed as he talked to his best friend.
"Maybe you need some time away. You know what they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. I know I miss you." Justin could hear Greg sigh into the phone.
"I miss you too. I just, I can't leave him."
"I understand, Greg, I do. But he's taking you for granted. Maybe you two just need a little break."
"Look who's talking. You're still dating Mr. Brian - I don't do relationships - Kinney, right?"
"You know it's not like that. We are in a relationship. I know that and he knows that. It doesn't matter what he says to other people. It doesn't bother me. I don't need a label on what we are. And we're not supposed to be talking about me. It's your turn for relationship woes, remember?"
"Yeah, yeah. But don't think you're fooling me with that "it doesn't bother me" shit. You may have fooled everyone in Pittsburgh, but I know you, Jus. There's no way that it doesn't hurt you. But like you said, this call is about my problems. I have no idea what I'm going to do about him, Jus. I mean, I love him so much. I love him more than…" Greg's voice trailed off.
"I know."
"I just never know what's going on in his head. He's so fucking private." Justin had to laugh at that.
"I know exactly what you mean."
"There are times, when we're alone, that I feel like…god…I feel like we're the only two people on Earth, and I have no doubt in my mind that he loves me. But other times…"
"You feel like you're not even there."
"Yeah."
"I'm really the wrong person to get advice from, Greg."
"I know that. Believe me, if I was ever going to get relationship advice, it wouldn't be from you." They both can't help chuckle at that comment. "I'm just using you to vent."
"Ah, thanks. It's good to know I'm loved."
"You know I love you."
"Yeah, I know you do. You're not the one that has a problem saying it."
"So he still hasn't whispered those three little words you so long to hear."
"Shut up, Greg."
"Believe me, Jus. The words aren't that important. Warrick tells me he loves me, but I'm still not sure he does. Sometimes I just feel like a fuck buddy he calls whenever he wants to get laid."
"You're preaching to the choir."
"That's just it, Jus. I kind of understand Brian and the tricking and not saying I love you. He has commitment issues. But Warrick isn't like that. He tells me he loves me, and I'm almost positive he isn't sleeping with anyone else. He's just so fucking distant sometimes that I'm not sure if he's with me because he wants to be or because he feels sorry for me."
That sounded so familiar to Justin.
"You know I went through this exact same thing after the bashing. And I'm going to ask you a question my very best friend asked me. Has Warrick ever seemed like a person that does things he doesn't really want to?" There were a few seconds of silence.
"That was a fucking stupid question to ask. What was I thinking? That doesn't solve anything! I don't know why you listen to me." Justin broke into laughter.
"Neither do I." The laughter died down to a comfortable silence that often occurs between long time friends.
"I don't know. I've just been thinking a lot about things lately. It's like he already has his little group of friends. He spends time with Nick and Catherine, and hell even Grissom. They've been friends for so long that sometimes I feel like such an outsider when I'm around them, and a part of me wonders if that's the reason I want to become a CSI…if I'm just doing this to fit in, to be part of the in-crowd, to be closer to Warrick. I told myself I wasn't going to be one of those people, changing who they are just so they can hold onto their boyfriend."
Justin can't help but wince at that statement, recalling the times of threesomes, foursomes and birthday hustlers.
"You're not one of those people, Greg. You've kind of always been interested in the whole crime scene investigating thing, haven't you? I think I remember you telling me about helping out with a case and there was a guy and scuba gear or something like that." Justin really can't remember the details, he has a tendency to zone out when Greg goes into elaborate stories about cases and evidence and DNA.
"It's good to know you were paying attention. Yeah, there was a case with a guy and scuba gear or something like that. You are right though, I have been interested in it for awhile."
"See, told you."
"You're such a brat. Always have been."
"Hey!"
"I still don't know what I'm going to do about Warrick."
"Well I already told you what you should do. Knowing you, you've probably got a thousand vacation days to put to use. And I miss you. And I know you miss me, because really, who wouldn't? So take a couple of weeks off, get your bony ass on a plane and come up here to see your favorite person."
"You know, just because I don't carry the majority of my weight in my ass like some people, doesn't mean it's bony."
"Are you saying my ass is fat?"
"You said mine was bony!"
"You're such a bitch sometimes."
"And you're always a brat."
"So are you coming here or what?"
"Sure, I have the next couple of days off. I'll request the next two weeks off and if it gets approved, which I'm sure it will, then I'll be able to fly out sometime tomorrow."
Brian walked through the loft door, setting his briefcase on the kitchen counter. He knew Justin was supposed to be home, but he didn't see him right away. As he took off his jacket, he heard Justin's low voice on the phone. He walked into the bedroom and caught what sounded like the end of a phone call.
"Good. 'Cause I do miss you Greg. And even if you're not sure about him, you can always be sure that I love you. I always will."
Hearing Justin say those words to someone else felt like a sucker punch to the stomach. In all their time of knowing each other, Brian had never heard him sound quite so comfortable, affectionate, or intimate. He imagined what the next months would be like, like the months after Justin met Ethan. He couldn't let that happen again. He couldn't hold on with the knowledge that Justin would eventually leave him…again. He made a decision and stepped in front of Justin, silently announcing his presence.
"Greg, I better go. Brian just got here." Justin hung up the phone. He had only seen Brian this upset once before, Lindsay's anniversary party. The expression on his face right before he punched Michael was exactly the same as the one wore in front of Justin - angry, but more so than that, hurt and betrayed.
"Who the fuck is Greg?"
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Author's Notes: This was inspired by a plotbunny from Steph from qaffanfictionprojects. It's set in S3 of both CSI and QAF. Warrick and Brian are 31. Justin is 19 and Greg is 25. Thanks to vanna12 for doing the beta thing. And thanks to nufaciel for helping with some CSI facts.