"Rock of Love," bitches!
(Okay, I should be in downtown Chicago to finish my extra work for Rory's First Kiss, but more on that in my next post. All you need to know is that I did indeed work yesterday.)
Last week, Lacey didn't win the challenge (surprise, surprise), targeted Sam, and the Polish spy got eliminated. Everyone hates Lacey, blah blah blah. After watching the sneak peek last week, I think it's obvious that this week's episode is going to be all about how much EVERYONE HATES LACEY and just wants her the fuck out! However, I get the feeling that despite the Lacey-hatred and despite all the other girls calling her out on Bret, she won't be eliminated, and someone who probably doesn't deserve to be eliminated will get the boot. We'll see.
Lacey is still targeting Sam and gunning for her to leave. Oh, let's be honest. Lacey is targeting EVERYONE at this point.
At this point, Bret's referring to the six girls left as the "Sexy Six." Oh Bret, you're KILLING me! At this point, he admits that out of the six that are left, Mia's still kind of lingering in the background. Lingering?! Bret hasn't done anything to get to know her a little better! Then again, he has a point. She hasn't done much to bring her game-face to the competition. Today, he's got some work to do in the recording studio, so he leaves the girls a note with today's challenge. The challenge? Create a concept for an album cover and produce a photo for cover art. Shooting the pictures will be photographer Evo Lopez. The girls are divided up into two groups--Sam, Jes and Lacey (Oh, you just KNOW that team is asking for trouble!), and Brandi, Heather and Mia. The team that wins this shoot...well, the two that do the actual modelling will win a tandem date with Bret, and the creative director will get a one-on-one date.
Sam says this should be a no-brainer since she's done some modeling stuff for phtographer friends of hers. If it's tattoo modeling, maybe I can believe it. I'm not saying that Sam's not attractive, but there are some people that you hear do modelling that you wouldn't believe...well, model. (I was like that when I heard Kevin did some male-modelling. He just didn't seem like that type, but there are things about people that you wouldn't expect.)
Onto the team of Brandi, Mia and Heather. Mia is appointed creative director of their shoot. She sees the cover looking very innocent. Heather shoots that idea down and says, "This is going to be Bret's album cover. He wants SEXY, SEXY, SEXY women on the cover." Heather has a point. This is already shaping up to be a nightmare. So they decide that since a hot car is being used as a prop, they'll center their theme around that. Heather's going to be the hot chick who's car broke down, and Brandi's going to do the androgynous-thing and dress up with a grey mullet and armpit hair and put a sock in her crotch and be the skeevy dude who's oogling the hot chick.
Brandi as a man? Hi-LAR-ious. You should see some of her "manly" commentary off-the-side. I love Brandi, and I want her to win. But I know she won't.
The team of Sam, Lacey and Jes...Jes is appointed to be the creative director, which goes to tell you that if this team wins, she gets another one-on-one date with Bret. Even though Jes is the creative director, Lacey feels the need to dominiate every aspect of the photoshoot. "It should be angel vs. devil, good vs. bad, dominant vs. subordinate," blah blah blah. Of course, it's very fitting that Lacey is the "devil" persona and Sam gets the "angel" persona.
This is reminding me of when Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt posed as the angel vs. devil for the Captain Morgan's ad for Playboy. Lacey is the devil (shock, shock) and Sam's the angel...although you'd barely notice it because Sam's pretty much on the bottom and under a sheet, and all the album cover is Lacey trying to devour Sam. Subliminal messaging, anyone?
Really, Jes is doing a good job as the creative director, but Lacey is just totally being self-absorbed and wanting to make herself look good on the cover. Oh, and she flat-out just doesn't know how to work well with others. But she knows about album covers, since she's a professional travelling musicial and all. *rolls eyes*
And since Heather and Lacey are two peas in a pod, Heather's turning the same way...sort of...on the photoshoot with her, Brandi and Mia. But really...Heather has a good idea of what would go right for a Bret Michaels' album cover, whereas Mia really doesn't. Lacey sneaks a peek at their shoot, and proclaims it as "dumb."
Selecting the final photo to be submitted to Bret and Evo...(and really, "Evo"? It's like how Rachael Ray abbreviates extra-virgin olive oil. EVOO!!)...it's down to the wire for Mia, Brandi and Heather, since they're all butting heads (well, Heather and Mia are butting heads) over it. When it comes to Jes, Lacey and Sam...since Lacey HAS to choose a picture that makes herself look good (remember when Holly was obsessing over a picture of her, Bridget and Kendra for the 2008 GND calendar? She was obviously looking for a picture that made herself look good and made Bridget and Kendra look like crap), she chooses the final shot. Of course, Lacey "did all the work." Jes and Sam are giving her the death stare.
Back at the pad, Lacey is bitching (what else is new?) about how Jes did a shitty job at the photoshoot and how she felt she did more work than Jes. Well then, why didn't SHE volunteer to be the creative director?
It's a catch-22: be the hot skank on the cover, or be the one who has a say-so in how it's shot. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. And Lacey knows Jes is a knock-out beauty with her pink hair and pretty eyes (PIZZAZZ HATES JEM!!!), so she'd rather be the skank on the cover.
Later on, their final photos come back with some criticism. Olive Oil didn't think the angel vs. devil theme for Lacey/Sam was very clear. (Well, of course not. It's Lacey totally dominating the cover! I don't care what sweetvirago says; Lacey is Pizzazz all over!) As for Brandi and Heather's cover...why is Brandi a man? The creative director are going to have to explain their photos to Bret in a pitch. All they need is to just sell their photos to Bret. Who cares about explanations? This is all about confict with the creative directors!
At this point, Brandi feels that Lacey really isn't there for Bret like she claims, and if she just sees this as a "game," and if Bret know Lacey viewed this as a "game," he'd need to think twice about her. She's getting under the other girls' skins to scare them off. (Brandi is right; this IS all a "game" to Lacey. Listen to how she talks about "offing these other bitches" in her confessionals.) Jes feels Lacey just talks down to other people and turns their words around on them and is just very manipulative. And this is why I like Jes; she'll call people out on their bullshit. (And you have to love this scene because Brandi is giving Lacey a very subtle middle finger like she's scratching her face that VH1 has to blur out anyway...makes me love Brandi even more because I do shit like that.)
Then SAM confronts Lacey! Little meek "emotional wreck" Sam! Sam tells her that she told Bret that she was all about the photoshoot and gave him no input from her (Sam) or Jes. This reminds me of how Lacey was paired up with Erin for the musical challenge and acted like "she did all the work and had to teach Erin everything and Erin can't do shit," blah blah blah. I hate people like Lacey; she didn't even TRY to work with Erin for that challenge, and she didn't try to work with Sam and Jes on this, then tries to take credit for everything anyways to make her look like a fucking martyr.
Bret comes to judge the album covers.
First up is Brandi/Heather/Mia's cover. Uhm....yeah. Mia is having a hard time selling it. The pro on this one is that the colors stand out, and that's about it. The con? Brandi is obviously hot. She could have been slutted up like Heather and they could've just been both straddling the car and it would've made for a hot album cover. No need to dress her up like a man.
Sometimes you just don't need a theme for an album cover; sometimes all you need is hot chicks and a car. And that will be MY debut album cover--I will be slutted up, humping a sparkly purple Dodge Viper. *ha ha*
Next up is Lacey/Sam/Jes' cover. It's hot. But it's all about Lacey devouring Sam. Jes did a good job producing this. Lacey is PISSED. Let's not forget! LACEY'S the one who "did all the work." The pros is that it's girl-on-girl and sexy. But the con...an album cover like this wouldn't go over well in the Bible belt and may never get sold in that area.
Poison has had problems with album covers before. The cover of Open Up And Say Ahhhhh! was modified so the demon woman's tounge wasn't showing. Plus, the cover of Flesh and Blood originally had blood dripping from the tattoo on the front, so alternate covers were made with no blood dripping. So I can understand Bret's concern over how "sexy" and "demonic" this album's cover was...even if it was hot. "Sexy" still triumphs over the possibility of not selling any albums at all.
In the end...Sam, Jes and Lacey win this challenge. OH JOY OF JOYS!! LACEY HAS WON A CHALLENGE!! SHE GETS A DATE WITH BRET!! (This can't be good.) But Lacey didn't win the one-on-one date with Bret.
Nooooo, Jes won that. Lacey is pissed that Jes gets the one-on-one date again. SHE should've gotten that date. But like I said...maybe SHE should've volunteered to be the creative director if she wanted the one-on-one date. Dumb bitch. She's lucky she finally WON a date, the pathetic loser. So, she decides to horn in on Bret in his bedroom...AGAIN...and be all, "I'm sorry, Bret, but Jes did a shitty job on the shoot. I was the one who had all the input, Jes and Sam didn't do shit and I really should be the one on the one-on-one date. Back outside, Jes gets word that Lacey/Pizzazz talked to Bret about how "Lacey did all the work." Jes is PISSED. She knows the only reason Lacey did that was to make Jes look bad. So JES finally confronts Bret about what Lacey's antics and how crazy she really is when it comes to the other girls.
ALL of the girls are pissed this episode. But not only is everyone pissed at Lacey for being Lacey, Heather and Brandi are pissed that they lost that challenge and they put the blame on poor overlooked Mia. If Mia had listened to Heather's suggestions, they could've won that competition. But no. So while Bret's on his date with Sam and Pizzazz/Lacey, they have an idea. ;) They're going to dress (or undress...depending on how you watch this episode) their sluttiest-best and take some Polaroids to prove that they can produce some sexy photos. And they don't want Mia involved at all.
Speaking of Bret's date with Sam and Lacey, he takes them for a ride in a Bentley convertible (Sam wins rock/paper/scissors and gets shotgun! Lacey's all, "Oh, this will be the only time she's ahead of me!" STFU, bitch. Sam's been on more dates with Bret than YOU have.) He takes them to this place called Neptune's Net...which I remember from when Rachael Ray went to the place on "$40 a Day."
...Wow, whaddya know? Two Rachael Ray referrences in one "Rock of Love" recap. Who saw that coming? BRET IS YUM-O!!! Now let's make a Bret "sammie." (Ha ha, I couldn't help myself. Third time's a charm.) Anyhoo...at Netpune's Net, Bret asks Sam and Lacey about how they felt about Jes' job as creative director of their shoot. Lacey is all, "Yeah, Jes did a decent job, but really, I did the majority of the work," and just totally slams Jes. She excuses herself to use the bathroom, so Bret takes the opportunity to ask SAM. Of course, Sam unloads on Lacey behind her back. She tells Bret that Lacey was very pushy during the shoot and tried to make it all about her, and Jes did the best job that she could given the circumstances. She also tells Bret that he may like Lacey, but she's very manipulative with the other girls and is a completely different person when he's not around. She asks Bret if he feels he can trust someone as manipulative as Lacey. Bret's all confused and says, "I...I...I dunno." HA! Sam's got you! I think Sam's definitely looking out for his best interests.
Well, it's too bad Lacey won't get to ride shotgun with Bret going back because Jes shows up in the Hummer-limo for her one-on-one date. Bret takes off on his motorcycle with Jes (how'd his motorcycle get there? *shrugs*). Who cares? Guys with motorcycles are a turn-on for me and I'm totally envious of Jes right now. They go to a private little cove on the beach and watch the dolphin swimming in the ocean, and they suck face for a little bit. Then Bret remembers, "Oh shit, I have to eliminate another girl tonight, we gotta go."
Back at the pad...Bret sees HOT PICS OF NEARLY NEKKID CHICKS ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR! Wow! Where were THEY for the photo shoot?! *ha ha* It doesn't really help Brandi and Heather's case any...or do they?
Now, you've heard my rant about poor overlooked Mia in a previous recap. I feel she's just been filler, and she should've been eliminated a long time ago if Bret really wasn't making much of a connection with her at all. Then again, she hasn't put much effort into the competition, and I'm surprised she's lasted this long. Now is not a good time to speak up and want some one-on-one time with Bret. Too late--all of the Sexy Six are sitting down to dinner with Bret.
At dinner...while they're all eating...of course, Lacey has to start spouting off more of her PETA-propoganda. UGH. NOT WHILE WE'RE EATING, BITCH! Brandi's had it. She excuses herself to her bedroom. She's annoyed as shit with Lacey, and I don't blame her. Lacey gives her a headache (and she gives me one, too). Lacey/Pizzazz thinks Brandi is just wanting attention. Bret knows Brandi better than that. He excuses himself to check up on Brandi, and she tells him she's had it with Lacey and is ready to eliminate herself because LACEY IS BATSHIT CRAZY!!! Bret likes Brandi too much to see her leave (and so do I) on account of Lacey, so he convinces her to stick around.
Okay...Sam nearly left because of Lacey. And now Brandi nearly left because of Lacey. Bret...quit thinking with yer dick, and start thinking with your cranium. You feel like Lacey might kill you in your sleep? THEN GET RID OF THE BITCH!! This is Bret-logic, ladies and gents!
Elimination time. Lacey's wearing this white get-up with a pearl-beaded choker. Why? So she can make herself look like the angel that she's not? It's Holly Madison all over again.
Jes stays. Of course. Because she's Jes and can do no wrong.
Heather stays. She looks like a hooker in her elimination get-up. *ha ha*
Sam stays. This girl wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's developing a spine. Yaaaay.
Brandi stays. YAAAAAAAY!! Brandi's my homegirl.
Then it's down to Lacey and Mia. You can practically hear Jes, Heather, Sam and Brandi going, "GET RID OF LACEY!" in their heads. But come on. Mia kind of fucked up that photoshoot, and she's just been filler this whole time. That, and the producers told Bret, "Keep the psycho redhead around! She creates drama! She's good for ratings!"
Yep. Mia's tour ends here tonight. Sad, but it's been way past time for her to go. I kind of saw it coming. Brandi, Jes, Sam and Heather are pissed. They have their work cut out for them now. Now it's war.
Last week, Lacey didn't win the challenge (surprise, surprise), targeted Sam, and the Polish spy got eliminated. Everyone hates Lacey, blah blah blah. After watching the sneak peek last week, I think it's obvious that this week's episode is going to be all about how much EVERYONE HATES LACEY and just wants her the fuck out! However, I get the feeling that despite the Lacey-hatred and despite all the other girls calling her out on Bret, she won't be eliminated, and someone who probably doesn't deserve to be eliminated will get the boot. We'll see.
Lacey is still targeting Sam and gunning for her to leave. Oh, let's be honest. Lacey is targeting EVERYONE at this point.
At this point, Bret's referring to the six girls left as the "Sexy Six." Oh Bret, you're KILLING me! At this point, he admits that out of the six that are left, Mia's still kind of lingering in the background. Lingering?! Bret hasn't done anything to get to know her a little better! Then again, he has a point. She hasn't done much to bring her game-face to the competition. Today, he's got some work to do in the recording studio, so he leaves the girls a note with today's challenge. The challenge? Create a concept for an album cover and produce a photo for cover art. Shooting the pictures will be photographer Evo Lopez. The girls are divided up into two groups--Sam, Jes and Lacey (Oh, you just KNOW that team is asking for trouble!), and Brandi, Heather and Mia. The team that wins this shoot...well, the two that do the actual modelling will win a tandem date with Bret, and the creative director will get a one-on-one date.
Sam says this should be a no-brainer since she's done some modeling stuff for phtographer friends of hers. If it's tattoo modeling, maybe I can believe it. I'm not saying that Sam's not attractive, but there are some people that you hear do modelling that you wouldn't believe...well, model. (I was like that when I heard Kevin did some male-modelling. He just didn't seem like that type, but there are things about people that you wouldn't expect.)
Onto the team of Brandi, Mia and Heather. Mia is appointed creative director of their shoot. She sees the cover looking very innocent. Heather shoots that idea down and says, "This is going to be Bret's album cover. He wants SEXY, SEXY, SEXY women on the cover." Heather has a point. This is already shaping up to be a nightmare. So they decide that since a hot car is being used as a prop, they'll center their theme around that. Heather's going to be the hot chick who's car broke down, and Brandi's going to do the androgynous-thing and dress up with a grey mullet and armpit hair and put a sock in her crotch and be the skeevy dude who's oogling the hot chick.
Brandi as a man? Hi-LAR-ious. You should see some of her "manly" commentary off-the-side. I love Brandi, and I want her to win. But I know she won't.
The team of Sam, Lacey and Jes...Jes is appointed to be the creative director, which goes to tell you that if this team wins, she gets another one-on-one date with Bret. Even though Jes is the creative director, Lacey feels the need to dominiate every aspect of the photoshoot. "It should be angel vs. devil, good vs. bad, dominant vs. subordinate," blah blah blah. Of course, it's very fitting that Lacey is the "devil" persona and Sam gets the "angel" persona.
This is reminding me of when Holly Madison and Bridget Marquardt posed as the angel vs. devil for the Captain Morgan's ad for Playboy. Lacey is the devil (shock, shock) and Sam's the angel...although you'd barely notice it because Sam's pretty much on the bottom and under a sheet, and all the album cover is Lacey trying to devour Sam. Subliminal messaging, anyone?
Really, Jes is doing a good job as the creative director, but Lacey is just totally being self-absorbed and wanting to make herself look good on the cover. Oh, and she flat-out just doesn't know how to work well with others. But she knows about album covers, since she's a professional travelling musicial and all. *rolls eyes*
And since Heather and Lacey are two peas in a pod, Heather's turning the same way...sort of...on the photoshoot with her, Brandi and Mia. But really...Heather has a good idea of what would go right for a Bret Michaels' album cover, whereas Mia really doesn't. Lacey sneaks a peek at their shoot, and proclaims it as "dumb."
Selecting the final photo to be submitted to Bret and Evo...(and really, "Evo"? It's like how Rachael Ray abbreviates extra-virgin olive oil. EVOO!!)...it's down to the wire for Mia, Brandi and Heather, since they're all butting heads (well, Heather and Mia are butting heads) over it. When it comes to Jes, Lacey and Sam...since Lacey HAS to choose a picture that makes herself look good (remember when Holly was obsessing over a picture of her, Bridget and Kendra for the 2008 GND calendar? She was obviously looking for a picture that made herself look good and made Bridget and Kendra look like crap), she chooses the final shot. Of course, Lacey "did all the work." Jes and Sam are giving her the death stare.
Back at the pad, Lacey is bitching (what else is new?) about how Jes did a shitty job at the photoshoot and how she felt she did more work than Jes. Well then, why didn't SHE volunteer to be the creative director?
It's a catch-22: be the hot skank on the cover, or be the one who has a say-so in how it's shot. You can't have your cake and eat it, too. And Lacey knows Jes is a knock-out beauty with her pink hair and pretty eyes (PIZZAZZ HATES JEM!!!), so she'd rather be the skank on the cover.
Later on, their final photos come back with some criticism. Olive Oil didn't think the angel vs. devil theme for Lacey/Sam was very clear. (Well, of course not. It's Lacey totally dominating the cover! I don't care what sweetvirago says; Lacey is Pizzazz all over!) As for Brandi and Heather's cover...why is Brandi a man? The creative director are going to have to explain their photos to Bret in a pitch. All they need is to just sell their photos to Bret. Who cares about explanations? This is all about confict with the creative directors!
At this point, Brandi feels that Lacey really isn't there for Bret like she claims, and if she just sees this as a "game," and if Bret know Lacey viewed this as a "game," he'd need to think twice about her. She's getting under the other girls' skins to scare them off. (Brandi is right; this IS all a "game" to Lacey. Listen to how she talks about "offing these other bitches" in her confessionals.) Jes feels Lacey just talks down to other people and turns their words around on them and is just very manipulative. And this is why I like Jes; she'll call people out on their bullshit. (And you have to love this scene because Brandi is giving Lacey a very subtle middle finger like she's scratching her face that VH1 has to blur out anyway...makes me love Brandi even more because I do shit like that.)
Then SAM confronts Lacey! Little meek "emotional wreck" Sam! Sam tells her that she told Bret that she was all about the photoshoot and gave him no input from her (Sam) or Jes. This reminds me of how Lacey was paired up with Erin for the musical challenge and acted like "she did all the work and had to teach Erin everything and Erin can't do shit," blah blah blah. I hate people like Lacey; she didn't even TRY to work with Erin for that challenge, and she didn't try to work with Sam and Jes on this, then tries to take credit for everything anyways to make her look like a fucking martyr.
Bret comes to judge the album covers.
First up is Brandi/Heather/Mia's cover. Uhm....yeah. Mia is having a hard time selling it. The pro on this one is that the colors stand out, and that's about it. The con? Brandi is obviously hot. She could have been slutted up like Heather and they could've just been both straddling the car and it would've made for a hot album cover. No need to dress her up like a man.
Sometimes you just don't need a theme for an album cover; sometimes all you need is hot chicks and a car. And that will be MY debut album cover--I will be slutted up, humping a sparkly purple Dodge Viper. *ha ha*
Next up is Lacey/Sam/Jes' cover. It's hot. But it's all about Lacey devouring Sam. Jes did a good job producing this. Lacey is PISSED. Let's not forget! LACEY'S the one who "did all the work." The pros is that it's girl-on-girl and sexy. But the con...an album cover like this wouldn't go over well in the Bible belt and may never get sold in that area.
Poison has had problems with album covers before. The cover of Open Up And Say Ahhhhh! was modified so the demon woman's tounge wasn't showing. Plus, the cover of Flesh and Blood originally had blood dripping from the tattoo on the front, so alternate covers were made with no blood dripping. So I can understand Bret's concern over how "sexy" and "demonic" this album's cover was...even if it was hot. "Sexy" still triumphs over the possibility of not selling any albums at all.
In the end...Sam, Jes and Lacey win this challenge. OH JOY OF JOYS!! LACEY HAS WON A CHALLENGE!! SHE GETS A DATE WITH BRET!! (This can't be good.) But Lacey didn't win the one-on-one date with Bret.
Nooooo, Jes won that. Lacey is pissed that Jes gets the one-on-one date again. SHE should've gotten that date. But like I said...maybe SHE should've volunteered to be the creative director if she wanted the one-on-one date. Dumb bitch. She's lucky she finally WON a date, the pathetic loser. So, she decides to horn in on Bret in his bedroom...AGAIN...and be all, "I'm sorry, Bret, but Jes did a shitty job on the shoot. I was the one who had all the input, Jes and Sam didn't do shit and I really should be the one on the one-on-one date. Back outside, Jes gets word that Lacey/Pizzazz talked to Bret about how "Lacey did all the work." Jes is PISSED. She knows the only reason Lacey did that was to make Jes look bad. So JES finally confronts Bret about what Lacey's antics and how crazy she really is when it comes to the other girls.
ALL of the girls are pissed this episode. But not only is everyone pissed at Lacey for being Lacey, Heather and Brandi are pissed that they lost that challenge and they put the blame on poor overlooked Mia. If Mia had listened to Heather's suggestions, they could've won that competition. But no. So while Bret's on his date with Sam and Pizzazz/Lacey, they have an idea. ;) They're going to dress (or undress...depending on how you watch this episode) their sluttiest-best and take some Polaroids to prove that they can produce some sexy photos. And they don't want Mia involved at all.
Speaking of Bret's date with Sam and Lacey, he takes them for a ride in a Bentley convertible (Sam wins rock/paper/scissors and gets shotgun! Lacey's all, "Oh, this will be the only time she's ahead of me!" STFU, bitch. Sam's been on more dates with Bret than YOU have.) He takes them to this place called Neptune's Net...which I remember from when Rachael Ray went to the place on "$40 a Day."
...Wow, whaddya know? Two Rachael Ray referrences in one "Rock of Love" recap. Who saw that coming? BRET IS YUM-O!!! Now let's make a Bret "sammie." (Ha ha, I couldn't help myself. Third time's a charm.) Anyhoo...at Netpune's Net, Bret asks Sam and Lacey about how they felt about Jes' job as creative director of their shoot. Lacey is all, "Yeah, Jes did a decent job, but really, I did the majority of the work," and just totally slams Jes. She excuses herself to use the bathroom, so Bret takes the opportunity to ask SAM. Of course, Sam unloads on Lacey behind her back. She tells Bret that Lacey was very pushy during the shoot and tried to make it all about her, and Jes did the best job that she could given the circumstances. She also tells Bret that he may like Lacey, but she's very manipulative with the other girls and is a completely different person when he's not around. She asks Bret if he feels he can trust someone as manipulative as Lacey. Bret's all confused and says, "I...I...I dunno." HA! Sam's got you! I think Sam's definitely looking out for his best interests.
Well, it's too bad Lacey won't get to ride shotgun with Bret going back because Jes shows up in the Hummer-limo for her one-on-one date. Bret takes off on his motorcycle with Jes (how'd his motorcycle get there? *shrugs*). Who cares? Guys with motorcycles are a turn-on for me and I'm totally envious of Jes right now. They go to a private little cove on the beach and watch the dolphin swimming in the ocean, and they suck face for a little bit. Then Bret remembers, "Oh shit, I have to eliminate another girl tonight, we gotta go."
Back at the pad...Bret sees HOT PICS OF NEARLY NEKKID CHICKS ON HIS BEDROOM DOOR! Wow! Where were THEY for the photo shoot?! *ha ha* It doesn't really help Brandi and Heather's case any...or do they?
Now, you've heard my rant about poor overlooked Mia in a previous recap. I feel she's just been filler, and she should've been eliminated a long time ago if Bret really wasn't making much of a connection with her at all. Then again, she hasn't put much effort into the competition, and I'm surprised she's lasted this long. Now is not a good time to speak up and want some one-on-one time with Bret. Too late--all of the Sexy Six are sitting down to dinner with Bret.
At dinner...while they're all eating...of course, Lacey has to start spouting off more of her PETA-propoganda. UGH. NOT WHILE WE'RE EATING, BITCH! Brandi's had it. She excuses herself to her bedroom. She's annoyed as shit with Lacey, and I don't blame her. Lacey gives her a headache (and she gives me one, too). Lacey/Pizzazz thinks Brandi is just wanting attention. Bret knows Brandi better than that. He excuses himself to check up on Brandi, and she tells him she's had it with Lacey and is ready to eliminate herself because LACEY IS BATSHIT CRAZY!!! Bret likes Brandi too much to see her leave (and so do I) on account of Lacey, so he convinces her to stick around.
Okay...Sam nearly left because of Lacey. And now Brandi nearly left because of Lacey. Bret...quit thinking with yer dick, and start thinking with your cranium. You feel like Lacey might kill you in your sleep? THEN GET RID OF THE BITCH!! This is Bret-logic, ladies and gents!
Elimination time. Lacey's wearing this white get-up with a pearl-beaded choker. Why? So she can make herself look like the angel that she's not? It's Holly Madison all over again.
Jes stays. Of course. Because she's Jes and can do no wrong.
Heather stays. She looks like a hooker in her elimination get-up. *ha ha*
Sam stays. This girl wears her heart on her sleeve, and she's developing a spine. Yaaaay.
Brandi stays. YAAAAAAAY!! Brandi's my homegirl.
Then it's down to Lacey and Mia. You can practically hear Jes, Heather, Sam and Brandi going, "GET RID OF LACEY!" in their heads. But come on. Mia kind of fucked up that photoshoot, and she's just been filler this whole time. That, and the producers told Bret, "Keep the psycho redhead around! She creates drama! She's good for ratings!"
Yep. Mia's tour ends here tonight. Sad, but it's been way past time for her to go. I kind of saw it coming. Brandi, Jes, Sam and Heather are pissed. They have their work cut out for them now. Now it's war.