[It's raining. Hard. With thunder. It's 4:30AM. Where's Kanda? Why, the loud splash that sounds tells you exactly where he is. At the river. And he just stepped in part of the river
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[What. Why is his PDA broadcasting at 4 in the morning. What is this flooding you speak of. Where is this flooding you speak of. Fumbles his PDA on, already pushing himself into a sitting position.]
[He has already done that. It didn't go too well. Takes a quick stride ahead and turns to plant himself right in Kanda's way, the still not entirely healed stab wound in his left abdomen twinging in memory.]
I'm tired of watching you just be. What happened to you?
HOW ARE THERE TWO THREADS AT ONCE TIME HAS NO MEANING.tothelastbreathAugust 6 2011, 04:56:17 UTC
[Dude, you have no idea how serious he is.]
[Narrows his eyes, clearly frustrated from months of this and their earlier conversation. It's a struggle to keep his voice even, but he manages, even if there's an undercurrent of I call bullshit.]
You didn't use to be like this. [ You were driven, you moved with purpose. And because this has been hanging between them long enough anyway: ] Do you really want to stay here?
[He didn't, that was right. Those were also different times, too. When he got here, he wanted to leave. When Allen got here, he really wanted to leave, despite the small comfort of home.
But, for reasons he can't put his finger on, when Alma got here, that started to change. The more time he spent with the person he was practically forced to kill, he wanted to stay. He wanted to get back lost time with Alma.
The more time that passed, the more people seemed to come here from home, whether they were ones he remembered or alternate versions of his comrades.
It was, slowly, starting to a kind of second home. --Something Lenalee would be saying, not him.]
Tch. [Kanda's eyes narrow, hardening into their trademark 'Better-than-you' glare. Sorry Allen, he's just going to walk past you know.] Fuck off.
[But all of this is transient, none of it lasts, don't you see how fragile this is, Libitina could just take any of them the way she took Alma from right under their noses just a few days ago. Allen doesn't have the heart to tell Kanda to go back to a future where he's officially dead, but he doesn't understand why Kanda isn't trying, isn't trying like Lavi and Lenalee are, isn't at least attempting to make it out of this hell hole and give Alma a better life elsewhere in this world. Doesn't understand why he doesn't seem to care, why he would gladly stay if there were enough of them here with him, but not too many.]
[ reaches to grab hold of Kanda's shirt collar ― you're not running from him so easily this time ― and tugs him down, but it's not belligerent so much as an insistent look me in the eye ] No. Everyone here has a reason― A purpose waiting for them back home! What happened to yours?
For someone who's been running full tilt and had the ground open up beneath him just before what feels like getting the hell there, Allen does an unheathily good job of keeping his feet- Or at least seeming like it. He's been working so hard to keep what happened at North America from Kanda, so hard to break the truth slowly (and sometimes reluctantly) to him, so hard despite unforeseen complications like Rhode's doppelganger and Akuma Alma showing up, that it takes him only a second to pull his act together on reflex, even if he's reeling inside.
[ Notes belatedly, hand twisting a bit tighter in Kanda's shirt, that the other Exorcist brought up the promise on his own. So much for being vague, Allen. ]
-Whoever said you're assumed to be anything?
[And since when did you let assumptions keep you from doing what you set out to do?]
[Kanda just reaches up, grabbing Allen's wrist. He doesn't move to pry the other's hand off him just yet, but the way he's gripping at it might as well suggest he will do it soon enough.
This wasn't something he wanted to talk about. His mentality wasn't anyone's business but his own. It was only his business, not Allen's, try as he might to understand him.
Things sadly weren't that simple anymore. He wishes it were.]
Hard to miss all the avoiding of the subject you and Link - ['Link.' Not 'two spots,' not 'that Crow.' 'Link.'] - were doing months ago.
[If the hand on his wrist even registers, Allen doesn't show it. That arm stays steady under Kanda's palm, just like his grip, just like that narrowed gaze, although he is internally nursing a sliver of- Confusion? Uncertainty? Yes, they'd avoided telling Kanda what happened, but not completely. Caution was taken to provide him with a general picture, to address what he already knows and set him at ease without filling in the ghastly details. Allen was so very careful even when telling Kanda about Alma's fate a few weeks ago, because there's something he has to know before telling Kanda the truth, but-
Maybe it wasn't enough. Allen can do (has done) all he can to keep an eye on conversations on the network, but someone else could have let slip enough information elsewhere for Kanda to arrive at that assumption.
He stares Kanda in the eye for a long moment before asking, quiet but clear, something bleeding fever-warm in his voice: ] ...And so you decided you won't go back? [ Just like that? ] You didn't even ask.
[Kanda eventually caught on. Or, rather, events with Rhode's doppelganger lead him to end up asking demanding the information from Link, and then turned around and demanded it naturally be kept away from Alma. He can respect being careful with what's said, because he had - is always - careful with what gets said around Alma and what information he does end up sharing about himself.
Things just...happen. He doesn't doubt that one day, neither he nor Allen nor Lavi nor Lenalee nor Cross will be around to stop whoever decides to tell Alma the truth. That just happens to be their lot in life, and it gleefully followed them from England to Nesreca.]
I haven't decided anything. [Though, yes, he's leaning very heavily on the whole 'not going back' side of the fence.] Ask what? How all of you felt, what you planned to do? Don't ask too much from me, Allen.
Hello?
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[He has already done that. It didn't go too well. Takes a quick stride ahead and turns to plant himself right in Kanda's way, the still not entirely healed stab wound in his left abdomen twinging in memory.]
I'm tired of watching you just be. What happened to you?
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Nothing.
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[Narrows his eyes, clearly frustrated from months of this and their earlier conversation. It's a struggle to keep his voice even, but he manages, even if there's an undercurrent of I call bullshit.]
You didn't use to be like this. [ You were driven, you moved with purpose. And because this has been hanging between them long enough anyway: ] Do you really want to stay here?
Reply
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But, for reasons he can't put his finger on, when Alma got here, that started to change. The more time he spent with the person he was practically forced to kill, he wanted to stay. He wanted to get back lost time with Alma.
The more time that passed, the more people seemed to come here from home, whether they were ones he remembered or alternate versions of his comrades.
It was, slowly, starting to a kind of second home. --Something Lenalee would be saying, not him.]
Tch. [Kanda's eyes narrow, hardening into their trademark 'Better-than-you' glare. Sorry Allen, he's just going to walk past you know.] Fuck off.
Reply
[ reaches to grab hold of Kanda's shirt collar ― you're not running from him so easily this time ― and tugs him down, but it's not belligerent so much as an insistent look me in the eye ] No. Everyone here has a reason― A purpose waiting for them back home! What happened to yours?
[You have a promise to keep.]
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For someone who's been running full tilt and had the ground open up beneath him just before what feels like getting the hell there, Allen does an unheathily good job of keeping his feet- Or at least seeming like it. He's been working so hard to keep what happened at North America from Kanda, so hard to break the truth slowly (and sometimes reluctantly) to him, so hard despite unforeseen complications like Rhode's doppelganger and Akuma Alma showing up, that it takes him only a second to pull his act together on reflex, even if he's reeling inside.
How did he-
Doesn't matter now, does it.]
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-Whoever said you're assumed to be anything?
[And since when did you let assumptions keep you from doing what you set out to do?]
Reply
This wasn't something he wanted to talk about. His mentality wasn't anyone's business but his own. It was only his business, not Allen's, try as he might to understand him.
Things sadly weren't that simple anymore. He wishes it were.]
Hard to miss all the avoiding of the subject you and Link - ['Link.' Not 'two spots,' not 'that Crow.' 'Link.'] - were doing months ago.
Reply
Maybe it wasn't enough. Allen can do (has done) all he can to keep an eye on conversations on the network, but someone else could have let slip enough information elsewhere for Kanda to arrive at that assumption.
He stares Kanda in the eye for a long moment before asking, quiet but clear, something bleeding fever-warm in his voice: ] ...And so you decided you won't go back? [ Just like that? ] You didn't even ask.
[And Allen had set ( ... )
Reply
Things just...happen. He doesn't doubt that one day, neither he nor Allen nor Lavi nor Lenalee nor Cross will be around to stop whoever decides to tell Alma the truth. That just happens to be their lot in life, and it gleefully followed them from England to Nesreca.]
I haven't decided anything. [Though, yes, he's leaning very heavily on the whole 'not going back' side of the fence.] Ask what? How all of you felt, what you planned to do? Don't ask too much from me, Allen.
Reply
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