fic: Kingdom of Carrot-heads
Title: Kingdom of Carrot-heads
Author: prologuesized
Pairing: Akame
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Romance, Tragedy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.
Summary: Jin comes across a boy with a bright and joyous smile yet can’t drop the feeling there’s something off about things. Leather jacket!Jin & Stable boy!Kame.
Author Note: Ran across these two pictures ( 1, 2) on my tumblr dashboard and then I wanted leather jacket!Jin and stable boy!Kame for some reason :(
…I don’t think it was supposed to turn out quite like this though.
OH HI. I SACRIFICED MY PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK FOR THIS. AND SLEEP. I HAVE TO GET UP IN A FEW HOURS. DAMN IT. SO DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING TOO THOUGHT OF.
Wordcount: 4,800
Kingdom of Carrot-heads
Horses are stupid. Horses are for girls to squeal over and stupid cartoon princes in lacy pants who ride them to save some stupid princesses who never could take care of themselves, but certainly not for actual city men who swooned ladies with a small glass of tequila in one hand and big shades hanging from their shirt necklines. Men like him and his friends.
At least it hadn’t been so before. He stared at his best friend with a horrified expression plastered all over his youthfully pretty face, carrot hair standing up wildly in disarray. The request was difficult to apprehend.
“Horseback riding?” he whimpers, shaking his head numbly. Pi bows down deeply.
It was always the girls’ fault, and it was always Pi’s fault for falling with the nice ones in their dream worlds rather than his own usual set of hot chicks who perhaps somehow somewhere deep down actually were nicer and lovelier and willing to commit, never mind the occasionally sluttier outlook and bar behaviour.
He has a feeling he needs to redefine his world, or accept that Pi is the exception that completes the rule.
--
Fuck horseback riding. Fuck stupid friends. Fuck having secrets. Fuck Pi so hard. Not literally. Ew. Not literally!
Pi sits behind him on the motorcycle and has his strongly built arms firmly wrapped around his leather jacket -covered torso. The younger man is leaning his helmet against his back and Jin thinks he hears a faint sound of him singing something absently but the harshly blowing wind snatches up the words and melody away before he can properly detect them.
He doesn’t mind, though. Really. Pi’s probably singing some sappy songs that remind him about his current crush again. The same crush whose fault it is that he’s currently grumpily driving him and his friend out of the city and towards the countryside to the closest stable where Yamapi has reserved his horseback riding lessons just to get something to talk about with the girl.
He’ll just stick around on the driveway and wait for his friend for a few hours. It’s going to be alright. He’ll have a smoke or two or three or fucking ten or something as he waits. Not too bad. He’s just the driver and someone to whom his best friend can pour what’s in his heart for.
Sometimes it feels like he’s a victim of his friends’ hopeless lives. And that’s when he isn’t talking about his own miseries.
When they drive by the grass fields and see horses throwing their heads as they look at them mostly uninterestedly, Jin starts slowing down. Not too far ahead there are several red-painted buildings and silhouettes of people Jin isn’t sure he has anything in common with. A young stallion gallops to follow them curiously and neighs. Pi squeezes him harder and even though Jin doesn’t see him, he has a feeling Pi’s feeling happy and giddy in an almost contagious way.
He knows his best friend after all.
He pulls over at the gates and jumps off. Pi tears his helmet off and squeezes hard on his duffel bag as he stares at the grounds. Jin pats his head and pushes him towards the gates.
“Go, sissy, you were the one who insisted on coming in here. And you owe me for the gasoline,” he reminds grumpily and waves his hand in dismissal. “Go Pi, The Pink Prince. Or I’ll tell everyone.”
Yamapi snorts and after a while of whining he finally makes a run for it, afraid of being late. Jin lights up a cigarette and looks up at the sky with threateningly dark clouds. He faintly recalls his umbrella standing up against his foyer wall and curses, silently praying to god the raindrops keep the fuck away from him because he isn’t quite convinced his leather jacket keeps the moisture out, and even if it does, he’ll get soaked like a wet dog anyway and it’s all Yamapi’s and his crush’s fault and he’s just a stupid casualty.
He jumps to sit on the fence and clicks his tongue, attracting the attention of a couple of nearby horses with a smile on his face. One of the horses immediately runs away from him, making him frown. Another one hesitates at a distance but a happy-looking individual with perky ears and shining brown fur walks over to him, neighing happily he throws his head back. Jin pats the horse’s neck and ruffles him contently.
He’s always felt at ease with animals. He could be something he wasn’t with people. There was a strange calling. One he loved.
Maybe it isn’t going to be so bad after all. The scenery is a nice change too, even if he doesn’t quite sit there.
“Hey you,” someone interrupts him and Jin turns around to see a young and handsome man heading towards him. He panics and jumps down from the fence, cigarette on his lips again.
The man stops and pats a sign with a dry stick on the other side of the gate, making Jin squint his eyes to see the text over the wide and sandy driveway. The man rolls his eyes. “No smoking here. There have been notices about dryness and fires around these areas so it’s prohibited for now. Stomp the cigarette on the road.”
Jin scoffs but does as he’s told, cursing at the stupid country boy. Or is he a country boy? His jeans look fashionable (or maybe his figure is just so nicely shaped that any pants make him look like a superstar) and the dark brownish-purple shirt with a white print suits him oddly, even with the almost orange hair colour.
“So what are you doing in here? I doubt you rode all the way here from the city just to vandalize and disturb some poor horses.”
“Friend,” Jin shrugs and cocks his head towards the range. “I’m just a ride that keeps his mouth shut. So that he won’t get embarrassed in front of other guys, you know. Going this far for some girl.”
“Trustworthy friend then, hmm?” the man smiles and stomps his way over the road, flicking his hair back. Some streaks shine golden while showering in the sunrays and it makes Jin smile. He looks good and seems like at least for a small moment he’ll serve as a very welcome eye-candy.
“Have I seen this friend of yours?” the man asks. Jin laughs and shakes his head, a smile tugging his lips.
“I doubt it. It’s his first lesson.”
“No, in the bar,” the man asks, cocking an amused eyebrow and crossing his arms. “I never mistake people. Last Saturday. You and some other guys were making a ruckus by dancing on the bar counter. At least before you were pushed down by the barista, that is.”
Jin flushes scarlet. Oh yeah. That night.
“You were there?” he blurts and the man laughs, eyes becoming mere thin lines as his already high cheeks rise. It has a lovely ring. Genuine yet lazy. “You go to the city?”
“I have friends there,” the man smiles and offers a hand. “I guess you’ve forgotten me. Kamenashi Kazuya. Koki’s friend. We went to the same high school for about a year before I dropped out. The city just wasn’t for me, I guess.”
“Ah, Koki’s… Koki’s… wait, Kame?” Jin puts the pieces together, eyes widening. “Woah. It’s you.”
Kame shakes his head with an amused smile on his face. He jumps on the fence and whistles to a horse far at the distance, immediately making the horse raise her head from the grass and walk lazily over. Kame hops on her back and Jin whimpers, slightly uneasy about horseback riding people. He hasn’t really come across that many during his lifetime.
“Want to try?” Kame teases him, a smug smirk on his face. “There’s space behind me.”
Jin hears a distant mantra with his own voice telling him how horses are for girls and never for the likes of him. It scolds him for being such a petty boy and reminds him that all he’s good for is riding his super-cool motorbike and winking teasingly to girls, leather jacket unzipped and shirt hugging his nicely formed torso.
He shakes his head and mutes the voice as he climbs on the fence. Kame guides the horse closer to the fence and Jin blinks in surprise.
“Horses go sideways?!”
“If you guide them right,” Kame agrees and pats the small area behind him. “Hop on.”
Jin throws his leg over the wide and warm back and lays his hands on Kame’s hips. The horse starts walking onwards and Jin can hear his heart pounding in his ears as they go around the wide fields of horses and almost ever-green grass.
Something starts.
They return an hour after Pi’s lesson has ended and the poor guy pouts as he leans against Jin’s bike, playing with his mobile phone feverously.
“Tell me when he has his next lesson,” Kame whispers to him with a smug smirk as Jin hops off the horse’s back (her name is Jelly, as weird as it sounds) with tightly shut squeezed eyes. They wave at each other and Kame starts riding his horse away towards the houses at the distance. Jin stares at his back.
“Who was that guy and what did he do to you?” Pi demands to know when Kame’s out of the hearing range. Jin turns around with a teasing smirk on his face, climbs through the fence and takes his helmet from his friend’s hand, putting it on and adjusting it properly.
“Not like I’d tell you.”
He remembers he doesn’t have Kame’s number, but is certain he can ask for it from Koki.
--
He doesn’t get the time to call though, because two days later ten o’clock on a Thursday afternoon he opens his door to a widely smiling Kame, a small slip of paper in his hands.
“Thought you’d want this,” Kame offers the slip with a sequence of numbers on it and Jin grasps it tightly, unable to utter out that he’s already gotten Kame’s contact information from Koki the same day they met at the stable.
Kame slips in and kicks his shoes off. Jin panics, not knowing what to do, how to treat Kame. He has no idea what’s really going on between them. He thinks there’s a spark but he isn’t certain.
Kame skips towards his bedroom and Jin flushes red as he follows, finding Kame sitting on his knees on the bed and pulling his shirt off.
It was quite a straight request, right?
“Come here,” Kame demands huskily as he falls on his back on the mattress, orange hair sprawled across the pillow. “The birds sang to me, Jin~”
Koki. Jin shakes his head in amused disbelief as he joins Kame on the bed.
He isn’t quite certain if he should be pissed or grateful as Kame’s lips crush against his and hands wrap themselves around his neck. All he knows is that he has a very nice being who makes his heart pound like crazy on his bed.
--
Kame isn’t in a hurry anywhere. Jin calls in sick for his work at the local music store. They spend the day lying on the couch, toes tickling each other’s soles and calves, amused and smug smiles on their lips.
Jin knows he’s developed a strong crush. Knows it as he tenses his body to sense Kame’s warmth from the other side of the couch and enjoys the comfortable silence between them.
Kame’s a good looking man with a thing for him. Fuck if he wouldn’t have been flattered to the point of crushing on him.
“I’m crushing on you,” he admits hesitantly to the younger man, breathing hitching slightly as he does. He meets Kame’s eyes which first flash in surprise before they narrow again the way they do when he smiles his wide and joyous smile that shines brighter than many others’, even if he isn’t bragging about it.
“I’m surprised, Akanishi,” Kame answers, cocking his head as his foot makes its way between his legs and on his groin, rubbing it teasingly. “How serious are you about that?”
“I don’t say it if I don’t mean it,” Jin cuts his speech, sighing contently at the ministrations on his crotch. “I’m painfully honest.”
“Then I guess I can crush on you too,” Kame smiles and pulls himself forward, detaching his toned back from the armrest and crawling on top of Jin, teeth pulling at his lips yet refusing to be kissed. “Can I crush on you?”
“It’d be the most preferred outcome, yes,” Jin answers, knees pressing against Kame’s sides. Kame lets go of his lips and wraps Jin’s arms around his back before lowering himself to lie on top of him. Jin hears a content sigh.
“I could hang around with a city boy,” Kame admits thoughtfully, fingers lightly tickling Jin’s neck. “A city boy who gets drunk and dances on bar tables like an eighteen-year-old slutty girl. Hmm.”
“What were you doing while I did that, then?” Jin demands to know, pursing his lips. Kame immediately smirks at the memory, eyes flashing mischievously as he turns faces Jin unashamedly.
“Rubbing my crotch to the table’s edge while watching,” Kame admits. “No one noticed a thing.”
“You dirty bastard,” Jin accuses but joins in Kame’s laughter.
He’s always liked them a bit dirty.
--
“They say red-heads are fiery,” Kame’s voice whispers. The sound circulates all around him and makes his nerves tingle all over his body. He closes his eyes and walks on the fence with his arms spread for balance’s sake. The universe is open all around him, yet Kame shines like the brightest star somewhere ahead of him, skipping lightly with ease.
“And sexy,” he hears his own world answering. “I’ve heard they’re exciting.”
“I heard I’m one of a kind,” Kame spins around and smirks at him, hair shining vigorously carrot. His skin is oddly pale but Jin doesn’t think it’s distorted in any way. Somehow it fits.
He’s growing weathers and suddenly everything is light and Kame’s laughing against his face, his voice ringing loud from all directions, echoing in the endless continuum around them. They’re not on the fence anymore, they’re on a road. An ashy road.
He gets the chills.
“Stop laughing. It’s not funny,” he feels his lips moving but the voice doesn’t come out. Kame’s laughter continues as he spins around and skips joyfully, quickly, excitedly. The volume gets threateningly louder and louder and makes Jin back away.
He feels terrorized. It isn’t Kame, for some reason. The ash dances around Kame’s madly giggling figure and falls off the road, prickling slowly downwards scarily into nothingness.
His heart clenches.
“KAME, STOP JUMPING!” he screams and tries to run but he’s slow. He’s so slow. Everything goes black and he becomes blind as he hits the ground uselessly. He’s immobilized.
He sees from a third person’s perspective how the ash under Kame’s feet disappears and he falls in the never-ending darkness, spinning and screaming in horror.
Jin wakes up with a jolt and shivers. His heart beats painfully fast as he stares at the ceiling and fights to calm himself down, tell himself that it’s just a dream and everything is alright. That there’s no use calling or texting Kame or anyone because it was just a stupid dream and he’d embarrass himself for life if he did.
It concerns him, though.
--
When Yamapi next time has his riding session, Jin drives his motorcycle all the way to the grounds and meets Kame in front of the stable building. Pi nudges him with a smug look and Jin slaps him off as he hooks arms with Kame, dragging him away but Kame hits his heels to the ground and refuses to move.
“I prepared horses for us,” Kame insists with a smile on his face. “We’re going to be cooler than your friend. I’m taking us out of the grounds. Are you ready for it?”
“What?” Jin cries, eyes wide. “I can’t even ride!”
“I’ll teach,” Kame insists and walks inside the building. “If you’re going to get involved with me, this is something you’ll need to handle. Or are you scared?”
“…I just hope you chose a nice horse,” Jin whines. Kame pecks his cheek lightly and pats his shoulder as he walks over to two prepared horses behind Yamapi’s. Pi’s discussing something with his teacher and awkwardly brushing his horse (he apparently has to prepare her himself) as Kame detaches the reins from hooks on the walls and walks them out, motioning for Jin to go ahead. Once outside he helps Jin on one of the horse’s back and gets on his own.
“You take the reins in hand like this,” Kame guides him and Jin starts gathering the leather in his hands nervously, holding onto them for his dear life. “We’ll be just walking so you should be alright. If you want to turn, press a little with the foot on the side where you want to go. If you want to stop, pull on the reins. You don’t need to get violent. And if she misbehaves, well, you just need to try harder”, Kame winks. Jin gulps.
“And how does it start going?”
You just gently push with your feet to get her going. Okay, follow!” Kame says and clicks his tongue. Jin quickly tries to do as he’s instructed and feels his heart thumping nervously as the horse starts rocking and moving forwards.
If someone would’ve told him where he’d gotten himself a month earlier, he would’ve laughed them off. Seriously.
“Why are we doing this?” Jin whimpers as his horse walks behind Kame’s on the thankfully deserted road. Kame looks back with shining eyes and smiles reassuringly.
“There’s something I want to show you,” he admits. Jin can’t help but smile back.
Kame makes him feel like an explosive way too much sometimes. He feels like he’s about to burst.
“Show me.”
--
They reach a hill and go down. There’s a lovely little pond and flowers and trees. The pond is lined by a forest on the other shore and Jin fears he’ll fall over the horse’s neck as they ride downhill.
His horse stops on her own as Kame stops his horse and hops off, helping Jin off too. He removes the rains from the horses and watches them run off. Jin fidgets nervously as he watches them go.
“Are you sure that’s smart?”
“I’ve trained them since they were little,” Kame nods. “They’ll come back when I want them to. They’re loyal. Horses,” Kame smiles to him gently and Jin feels like he melts, which is really disturbing and stupid.
The strangest things hesitantly blooming love did to people…
“I want you to remember this place,” Kame whispers to him gently, caressing a few strands of hair framing his face. “…Remember this place.”
Jin wraps his arms gently around Kame’s lower back and pulls him close as he looks around. The place is beautiful, he agrees and feels warmth spreading inside him. It isn’t something he’d ever come across in the city. The flowers bloom beautifully as they line the misted water of the pond. He can hear the quiet yet nagging and constant buzz of the insects around them.
It’s somehow peaceful, though.
“It’s pretty,” he whispers back and kisses Kame gently. Kame lets his arms slip under Jin’s and rests his hands on Jin’s scapula. He’s quiet as he watches the trees at the small distance. They aren’t tall, not really, but the forest seems thick and secretive there ahead of them in a way that makes Jin think he never wants to enter it. Only watch from a distance and preferably not at night-time.
It feels like a place for the lost and lonely.
The horses neigh somewhere in the distance. Kame buries his face in Jin’s shoulder, hands gently on his nape.
Jin thinks he’s missing something, but he has no idea what.
“I have this for you,” he whispers and digs out a small present from his bag. Kame takes it hesitantly and glances at him with a wary and tired look before he opens the box gently, pulling out a small and beautifully sculptured music box.
He opens it and it starts playing a soft and little tune with tiny strings going pling! one time after another. Kame closes his eyes and caresses the sleek and elegant surface of the object.
“It’s beautiful,” he whispers simply. Jin entwines their fingers together, his own slipping between Kame’s cold ones. Cold hands, warm heart - it was how it went, didn’t it?
“It’s antique,” he whispers and brushes Kame’s hair gently.
It’s their own kingdom now, it feels. Their own sanctuary.
“We’re oddly romantic,” he whispers quietly and breathes in Kame’s carrot hair, feeling slightly lost as he stands by the shore with Kame wrapped warmly in his arms. “This is odd.”
Kame doesn’t answer. He doesn’t really speak anything around the pond. It feels unsettling.
They sit on the ground with Kame on his lap and throw little rocks in the water. Kame can make them bounce several times from the surface before they sink. Jin can’t. He doesn’t want to break the silence by asking, though.
It’s enough having Kame there safely on his lap.
--
After that Jin starts noticing little and subtle things about Kame. Things he isn’t sure are important, but he has a nagging worry he isn’t able to push away. It keeps nagging.
Kame takes some sort of medication. He’s always carrying a little pill case in his pocket and a watch around his left wrist. Kame succumbs to be under during sex way too often than Jin’s sure he should. The furthest he goes, Jin takes him on top of him but… that’s really it.
First he thinks Kame’s just lazy but it just… doesn’t feel like it. Kame doesn’t run to the bus when they’re about to miss it. When Jin and his buddies play football, Kame refuses to join in never mind the distantly yearning look. Once Jin gets him on the field, he doesn’t run. He seems uneasy but smiles nonetheless.
“Date me,” he demands one day after they've finished sipping tea and moved on to other nightly business in Kame’s room at his place. He’s painfully aware of Kame’s parents sleeping just two rooms ahead the corridor, but isn’t able to stop himself from advancing over Kame. “Date me, Kame.”
Kame sighs to the ministrations and caresses his neck gently. He kisses Jin’s lips before he winces and turns his head away, hissing slightly.
“No~”
“Good joke,” Jin chuckles and claims his lips again, rocking their hips together. “Say yes to me.”
“No.”
Kame seems uneasy. His eyebrows are knitted together and he lays a hand on Jin’s shoulder, narrow eyes meeting his. Jin feels him tensing under him, feels as his muscles contract. He groans, eyes fluttering slightly as he stops.
“Jin…”
“You mean it?” Jin mumbles with a hurt voice. “Okay. When?”
“I…” Kame tries and bites his lip, painfully hard and incoherent under him. “Jin, could we just finish first? Really.”
“I want an answer first,” Jin demands to know. “Is that a ‘never’?”
“Jin, come on,” Kame tries, tired eyes pleading. Jin catches the hand that tries to sneak between their bodies and Kame curses, tossing his head away again and trying to move his hips. Jin pulls out and makes Kame wail in discontentment and voice out a frail “No!”
Jin shivers and trembles, lying down next to Kame on the bed. Kame stares at him pleadingly as Jin holds both of his wrists firmly.
“Are you ill?” he asks the question with a strained and worried voice. He isn’t really able to tell Kame’s reaction for sure in the dimness of the night - he thinks Kame tenses and at least he tries to withdraw because Jin feels a soft yank from his wrists. Jin snuggles closer, ignoring both of their throbbing members. “…Kame?”
“Fuck. Fuck,” Kame swears and buries his face in the pillow. “Fuck. I have a heart disease, alright? Is that what you want to hear? Can you now just please..!”
“Is it bad?” Jin asks with a quiet voice. Kame bites his lip, eyes wildly open and darting around the room. Jin feels Kame’s breathing becoming faster and harsher. “Hey,” he gets concerned and pulls Kame close, rubbing the younger man’s back soothingly. “…You can tell me.”
“Congenital heart defect,” Kame blabbers. “I’ve had some surgeries and been on meds since I was a kid. It acts up every now and then. When I was kid they said I’ll probably make it to adulthood but… I’m an adult now. Now is a good period but no one knows if it’ll get bad again and it’s just really hard and I’m useless,” Kame whimpers. “Jin, please.”
Jin sighs and rolls over Kame again, kissing him gently on lips and neck as he slides in again, rocking his hips first gently but increasing speed with every thrust.
When they finish Jin collapses beside Kame again and turns Kame’s face towards him to peck his lips lovingly as they try to catch up their breaths before cleaning up after themselves and pulling their clothes back on.
Kame’s parents have a habit of waking him up after all, Kame has warned.
“…Date me?” Jin tries again, holding Kame’s hand concernedly. “It’s just dating.”
“It’s not ‘just dating’ if you insists so much,” Kame whimpers against his shoulder, breaths still heavy. “…Jin, I’m a fine lay. That’s it.”
“No,” Jin refuses. “I refuse to let you deny this from yourself because of your heart.”
“It’s selfish.”
“No,” Jin disagrees and shakes his head. “…It’s humane. It’s love.”
Kame stays silent. Jin sighs and wraps his arms around Kame.
“I won’t let you get away so easily,” he whispers in Kame’s ear. “I’ll hang around. And one day you will say yes to me. I’m certain you will.”
It’s the next morning when he strips his clothing to take a shower that he notes the black marker in his hip, forming the word ‘yes’. It’s a bit wobbly probably due to the writer not seeing properly in the dark, but…
It takes Jin all his might to shower first before jumping Kame and pulling him in the tightest hug he ever remembers granting to anyone.
--
Jin falls head over heels in love after that. It’s a slow yet sure process. Yamapi gets dumped by his crush and stops his momentary hobby while he moans about the girl, but Jin keeps driving to the ranch just to see Kame more and more and more again.
Within some months Kame leaves the safety of his home and they move together, ignoring the little hints everyone keeps giving them about things developing perhaps a bit too fast. Kame gets a job as a customer assistant in some local clothing shop he seems excited about. Life rolls slowly yet happily.
Jin’s certain Kame’s in love too.
Kame’s the type that radiates love in visible ways, Jin notes delightedly as he follows the young man’s presence in his house, walking around in boxer-briefs and a big t-shirt with a yoghurt in hand. It’s just something that shines in his eyes as he smiles at Jin or melts as they lie side by side, fingers entwined. It’s in his relaxed muscles and excited pulls towards the bedroom.
They have good years ahead of them. Good and pleasant years filled with love and happiness he thinks he never quite understood properly before Kame walked in his life with the demanding attitude of his.
Jin swears to god he’ll love it every single day of their lifetime.
--
They had pleasant years ahead of them. Jin can give that to Kame when he sits by the little pond, a horse eating grass somewhere at a distance.
Jin lays the music box in the ground and hears it play a soft little melody.
Pling pling pling pling pling…
He leaves the music box delicately on the ground and picks up a few flowers to accompany it. He doesn’t want it to get lonely after all.
Then he heads over to the misty forest on the other side of the pond and lets it swallow himself.
It’s a long time before the music box stops playing.
Author: prologuesized
Pairing: Akame
Rating: R
Genre: AU, Romance, Tragedy
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story.
Summary: Jin comes across a boy with a bright and joyous smile yet can’t drop the feeling there’s something off about things. Leather jacket!Jin & Stable boy!Kame.
Author Note: Ran across these two pictures ( 1, 2) on my tumblr dashboard and then I wanted leather jacket!Jin and stable boy!Kame for some reason :(
…I don’t think it was supposed to turn out quite like this though.
OH HI. I SACRIFICED MY PSYCHOLOGY HOMEWORK FOR THIS. AND SLEEP. I HAVE TO GET UP IN A FEW HOURS. DAMN IT. SO DON’T EXPECT ANYTHING TOO THOUGHT OF.
Wordcount: 4,800
Kingdom of Carrot-heads
Horses are stupid. Horses are for girls to squeal over and stupid cartoon princes in lacy pants who ride them to save some stupid princesses who never could take care of themselves, but certainly not for actual city men who swooned ladies with a small glass of tequila in one hand and big shades hanging from their shirt necklines. Men like him and his friends.
At least it hadn’t been so before. He stared at his best friend with a horrified expression plastered all over his youthfully pretty face, carrot hair standing up wildly in disarray. The request was difficult to apprehend.
“Horseback riding?” he whimpers, shaking his head numbly. Pi bows down deeply.
It was always the girls’ fault, and it was always Pi’s fault for falling with the nice ones in their dream worlds rather than his own usual set of hot chicks who perhaps somehow somewhere deep down actually were nicer and lovelier and willing to commit, never mind the occasionally sluttier outlook and bar behaviour.
He has a feeling he needs to redefine his world, or accept that Pi is the exception that completes the rule.
--
Fuck horseback riding. Fuck stupid friends. Fuck having secrets. Fuck Pi so hard. Not literally. Ew. Not literally!
Pi sits behind him on the motorcycle and has his strongly built arms firmly wrapped around his leather jacket -covered torso. The younger man is leaning his helmet against his back and Jin thinks he hears a faint sound of him singing something absently but the harshly blowing wind snatches up the words and melody away before he can properly detect them.
He doesn’t mind, though. Really. Pi’s probably singing some sappy songs that remind him about his current crush again. The same crush whose fault it is that he’s currently grumpily driving him and his friend out of the city and towards the countryside to the closest stable where Yamapi has reserved his horseback riding lessons just to get something to talk about with the girl.
He’ll just stick around on the driveway and wait for his friend for a few hours. It’s going to be alright. He’ll have a smoke or two or three or fucking ten or something as he waits. Not too bad. He’s just the driver and someone to whom his best friend can pour what’s in his heart for.
Sometimes it feels like he’s a victim of his friends’ hopeless lives. And that’s when he isn’t talking about his own miseries.
When they drive by the grass fields and see horses throwing their heads as they look at them mostly uninterestedly, Jin starts slowing down. Not too far ahead there are several red-painted buildings and silhouettes of people Jin isn’t sure he has anything in common with. A young stallion gallops to follow them curiously and neighs. Pi squeezes him harder and even though Jin doesn’t see him, he has a feeling Pi’s feeling happy and giddy in an almost contagious way.
He knows his best friend after all.
He pulls over at the gates and jumps off. Pi tears his helmet off and squeezes hard on his duffel bag as he stares at the grounds. Jin pats his head and pushes him towards the gates.
“Go, sissy, you were the one who insisted on coming in here. And you owe me for the gasoline,” he reminds grumpily and waves his hand in dismissal. “Go Pi, The Pink Prince. Or I’ll tell everyone.”
Yamapi snorts and after a while of whining he finally makes a run for it, afraid of being late. Jin lights up a cigarette and looks up at the sky with threateningly dark clouds. He faintly recalls his umbrella standing up against his foyer wall and curses, silently praying to god the raindrops keep the fuck away from him because he isn’t quite convinced his leather jacket keeps the moisture out, and even if it does, he’ll get soaked like a wet dog anyway and it’s all Yamapi’s and his crush’s fault and he’s just a stupid casualty.
He jumps to sit on the fence and clicks his tongue, attracting the attention of a couple of nearby horses with a smile on his face. One of the horses immediately runs away from him, making him frown. Another one hesitates at a distance but a happy-looking individual with perky ears and shining brown fur walks over to him, neighing happily he throws his head back. Jin pats the horse’s neck and ruffles him contently.
He’s always felt at ease with animals. He could be something he wasn’t with people. There was a strange calling. One he loved.
Maybe it isn’t going to be so bad after all. The scenery is a nice change too, even if he doesn’t quite sit there.
“Hey you,” someone interrupts him and Jin turns around to see a young and handsome man heading towards him. He panics and jumps down from the fence, cigarette on his lips again.
The man stops and pats a sign with a dry stick on the other side of the gate, making Jin squint his eyes to see the text over the wide and sandy driveway. The man rolls his eyes. “No smoking here. There have been notices about dryness and fires around these areas so it’s prohibited for now. Stomp the cigarette on the road.”
Jin scoffs but does as he’s told, cursing at the stupid country boy. Or is he a country boy? His jeans look fashionable (or maybe his figure is just so nicely shaped that any pants make him look like a superstar) and the dark brownish-purple shirt with a white print suits him oddly, even with the almost orange hair colour.
“So what are you doing in here? I doubt you rode all the way here from the city just to vandalize and disturb some poor horses.”
“Friend,” Jin shrugs and cocks his head towards the range. “I’m just a ride that keeps his mouth shut. So that he won’t get embarrassed in front of other guys, you know. Going this far for some girl.”
“Trustworthy friend then, hmm?” the man smiles and stomps his way over the road, flicking his hair back. Some streaks shine golden while showering in the sunrays and it makes Jin smile. He looks good and seems like at least for a small moment he’ll serve as a very welcome eye-candy.
“Have I seen this friend of yours?” the man asks. Jin laughs and shakes his head, a smile tugging his lips.
“I doubt it. It’s his first lesson.”
“No, in the bar,” the man asks, cocking an amused eyebrow and crossing his arms. “I never mistake people. Last Saturday. You and some other guys were making a ruckus by dancing on the bar counter. At least before you were pushed down by the barista, that is.”
Jin flushes scarlet. Oh yeah. That night.
“You were there?” he blurts and the man laughs, eyes becoming mere thin lines as his already high cheeks rise. It has a lovely ring. Genuine yet lazy. “You go to the city?”
“I have friends there,” the man smiles and offers a hand. “I guess you’ve forgotten me. Kamenashi Kazuya. Koki’s friend. We went to the same high school for about a year before I dropped out. The city just wasn’t for me, I guess.”
“Ah, Koki’s… Koki’s… wait, Kame?” Jin puts the pieces together, eyes widening. “Woah. It’s you.”
Kame shakes his head with an amused smile on his face. He jumps on the fence and whistles to a horse far at the distance, immediately making the horse raise her head from the grass and walk lazily over. Kame hops on her back and Jin whimpers, slightly uneasy about horseback riding people. He hasn’t really come across that many during his lifetime.
“Want to try?” Kame teases him, a smug smirk on his face. “There’s space behind me.”
Jin hears a distant mantra with his own voice telling him how horses are for girls and never for the likes of him. It scolds him for being such a petty boy and reminds him that all he’s good for is riding his super-cool motorbike and winking teasingly to girls, leather jacket unzipped and shirt hugging his nicely formed torso.
He shakes his head and mutes the voice as he climbs on the fence. Kame guides the horse closer to the fence and Jin blinks in surprise.
“Horses go sideways?!”
“If you guide them right,” Kame agrees and pats the small area behind him. “Hop on.”
Jin throws his leg over the wide and warm back and lays his hands on Kame’s hips. The horse starts walking onwards and Jin can hear his heart pounding in his ears as they go around the wide fields of horses and almost ever-green grass.
Something starts.
They return an hour after Pi’s lesson has ended and the poor guy pouts as he leans against Jin’s bike, playing with his mobile phone feverously.
“Tell me when he has his next lesson,” Kame whispers to him with a smug smirk as Jin hops off the horse’s back (her name is Jelly, as weird as it sounds) with tightly shut squeezed eyes. They wave at each other and Kame starts riding his horse away towards the houses at the distance. Jin stares at his back.
“Who was that guy and what did he do to you?” Pi demands to know when Kame’s out of the hearing range. Jin turns around with a teasing smirk on his face, climbs through the fence and takes his helmet from his friend’s hand, putting it on and adjusting it properly.
“Not like I’d tell you.”
He remembers he doesn’t have Kame’s number, but is certain he can ask for it from Koki.
--
He doesn’t get the time to call though, because two days later ten o’clock on a Thursday afternoon he opens his door to a widely smiling Kame, a small slip of paper in his hands.
“Thought you’d want this,” Kame offers the slip with a sequence of numbers on it and Jin grasps it tightly, unable to utter out that he’s already gotten Kame’s contact information from Koki the same day they met at the stable.
Kame slips in and kicks his shoes off. Jin panics, not knowing what to do, how to treat Kame. He has no idea what’s really going on between them. He thinks there’s a spark but he isn’t certain.
Kame skips towards his bedroom and Jin flushes red as he follows, finding Kame sitting on his knees on the bed and pulling his shirt off.
It was quite a straight request, right?
“Come here,” Kame demands huskily as he falls on his back on the mattress, orange hair sprawled across the pillow. “The birds sang to me, Jin~”
Koki. Jin shakes his head in amused disbelief as he joins Kame on the bed.
He isn’t quite certain if he should be pissed or grateful as Kame’s lips crush against his and hands wrap themselves around his neck. All he knows is that he has a very nice being who makes his heart pound like crazy on his bed.
--
Kame isn’t in a hurry anywhere. Jin calls in sick for his work at the local music store. They spend the day lying on the couch, toes tickling each other’s soles and calves, amused and smug smiles on their lips.
Jin knows he’s developed a strong crush. Knows it as he tenses his body to sense Kame’s warmth from the other side of the couch and enjoys the comfortable silence between them.
Kame’s a good looking man with a thing for him. Fuck if he wouldn’t have been flattered to the point of crushing on him.
“I’m crushing on you,” he admits hesitantly to the younger man, breathing hitching slightly as he does. He meets Kame’s eyes which first flash in surprise before they narrow again the way they do when he smiles his wide and joyous smile that shines brighter than many others’, even if he isn’t bragging about it.
“I’m surprised, Akanishi,” Kame answers, cocking his head as his foot makes its way between his legs and on his groin, rubbing it teasingly. “How serious are you about that?”
“I don’t say it if I don’t mean it,” Jin cuts his speech, sighing contently at the ministrations on his crotch. “I’m painfully honest.”
“Then I guess I can crush on you too,” Kame smiles and pulls himself forward, detaching his toned back from the armrest and crawling on top of Jin, teeth pulling at his lips yet refusing to be kissed. “Can I crush on you?”
“It’d be the most preferred outcome, yes,” Jin answers, knees pressing against Kame’s sides. Kame lets go of his lips and wraps Jin’s arms around his back before lowering himself to lie on top of him. Jin hears a content sigh.
“I could hang around with a city boy,” Kame admits thoughtfully, fingers lightly tickling Jin’s neck. “A city boy who gets drunk and dances on bar tables like an eighteen-year-old slutty girl. Hmm.”
“What were you doing while I did that, then?” Jin demands to know, pursing his lips. Kame immediately smirks at the memory, eyes flashing mischievously as he turns faces Jin unashamedly.
“Rubbing my crotch to the table’s edge while watching,” Kame admits. “No one noticed a thing.”
“You dirty bastard,” Jin accuses but joins in Kame’s laughter.
He’s always liked them a bit dirty.
--
“They say red-heads are fiery,” Kame’s voice whispers. The sound circulates all around him and makes his nerves tingle all over his body. He closes his eyes and walks on the fence with his arms spread for balance’s sake. The universe is open all around him, yet Kame shines like the brightest star somewhere ahead of him, skipping lightly with ease.
“And sexy,” he hears his own world answering. “I’ve heard they’re exciting.”
“I heard I’m one of a kind,” Kame spins around and smirks at him, hair shining vigorously carrot. His skin is oddly pale but Jin doesn’t think it’s distorted in any way. Somehow it fits.
He’s growing weathers and suddenly everything is light and Kame’s laughing against his face, his voice ringing loud from all directions, echoing in the endless continuum around them. They’re not on the fence anymore, they’re on a road. An ashy road.
He gets the chills.
“Stop laughing. It’s not funny,” he feels his lips moving but the voice doesn’t come out. Kame’s laughter continues as he spins around and skips joyfully, quickly, excitedly. The volume gets threateningly louder and louder and makes Jin back away.
He feels terrorized. It isn’t Kame, for some reason. The ash dances around Kame’s madly giggling figure and falls off the road, prickling slowly downwards scarily into nothingness.
His heart clenches.
“KAME, STOP JUMPING!” he screams and tries to run but he’s slow. He’s so slow. Everything goes black and he becomes blind as he hits the ground uselessly. He’s immobilized.
He sees from a third person’s perspective how the ash under Kame’s feet disappears and he falls in the never-ending darkness, spinning and screaming in horror.
Jin wakes up with a jolt and shivers. His heart beats painfully fast as he stares at the ceiling and fights to calm himself down, tell himself that it’s just a dream and everything is alright. That there’s no use calling or texting Kame or anyone because it was just a stupid dream and he’d embarrass himself for life if he did.
It concerns him, though.
--
When Yamapi next time has his riding session, Jin drives his motorcycle all the way to the grounds and meets Kame in front of the stable building. Pi nudges him with a smug look and Jin slaps him off as he hooks arms with Kame, dragging him away but Kame hits his heels to the ground and refuses to move.
“I prepared horses for us,” Kame insists with a smile on his face. “We’re going to be cooler than your friend. I’m taking us out of the grounds. Are you ready for it?”
“What?” Jin cries, eyes wide. “I can’t even ride!”
“I’ll teach,” Kame insists and walks inside the building. “If you’re going to get involved with me, this is something you’ll need to handle. Or are you scared?”
“…I just hope you chose a nice horse,” Jin whines. Kame pecks his cheek lightly and pats his shoulder as he walks over to two prepared horses behind Yamapi’s. Pi’s discussing something with his teacher and awkwardly brushing his horse (he apparently has to prepare her himself) as Kame detaches the reins from hooks on the walls and walks them out, motioning for Jin to go ahead. Once outside he helps Jin on one of the horse’s back and gets on his own.
“You take the reins in hand like this,” Kame guides him and Jin starts gathering the leather in his hands nervously, holding onto them for his dear life. “We’ll be just walking so you should be alright. If you want to turn, press a little with the foot on the side where you want to go. If you want to stop, pull on the reins. You don’t need to get violent. And if she misbehaves, well, you just need to try harder”, Kame winks. Jin gulps.
“And how does it start going?”
You just gently push with your feet to get her going. Okay, follow!” Kame says and clicks his tongue. Jin quickly tries to do as he’s instructed and feels his heart thumping nervously as the horse starts rocking and moving forwards.
If someone would’ve told him where he’d gotten himself a month earlier, he would’ve laughed them off. Seriously.
“Why are we doing this?” Jin whimpers as his horse walks behind Kame’s on the thankfully deserted road. Kame looks back with shining eyes and smiles reassuringly.
“There’s something I want to show you,” he admits. Jin can’t help but smile back.
Kame makes him feel like an explosive way too much sometimes. He feels like he’s about to burst.
“Show me.”
--
They reach a hill and go down. There’s a lovely little pond and flowers and trees. The pond is lined by a forest on the other shore and Jin fears he’ll fall over the horse’s neck as they ride downhill.
His horse stops on her own as Kame stops his horse and hops off, helping Jin off too. He removes the rains from the horses and watches them run off. Jin fidgets nervously as he watches them go.
“Are you sure that’s smart?”
“I’ve trained them since they were little,” Kame nods. “They’ll come back when I want them to. They’re loyal. Horses,” Kame smiles to him gently and Jin feels like he melts, which is really disturbing and stupid.
The strangest things hesitantly blooming love did to people…
“I want you to remember this place,” Kame whispers to him gently, caressing a few strands of hair framing his face. “…Remember this place.”
Jin wraps his arms gently around Kame’s lower back and pulls him close as he looks around. The place is beautiful, he agrees and feels warmth spreading inside him. It isn’t something he’d ever come across in the city. The flowers bloom beautifully as they line the misted water of the pond. He can hear the quiet yet nagging and constant buzz of the insects around them.
It’s somehow peaceful, though.
“It’s pretty,” he whispers back and kisses Kame gently. Kame lets his arms slip under Jin’s and rests his hands on Jin’s scapula. He’s quiet as he watches the trees at the small distance. They aren’t tall, not really, but the forest seems thick and secretive there ahead of them in a way that makes Jin think he never wants to enter it. Only watch from a distance and preferably not at night-time.
It feels like a place for the lost and lonely.
The horses neigh somewhere in the distance. Kame buries his face in Jin’s shoulder, hands gently on his nape.
Jin thinks he’s missing something, but he has no idea what.
“I have this for you,” he whispers and digs out a small present from his bag. Kame takes it hesitantly and glances at him with a wary and tired look before he opens the box gently, pulling out a small and beautifully sculptured music box.
He opens it and it starts playing a soft and little tune with tiny strings going pling! one time after another. Kame closes his eyes and caresses the sleek and elegant surface of the object.
“It’s beautiful,” he whispers simply. Jin entwines their fingers together, his own slipping between Kame’s cold ones. Cold hands, warm heart - it was how it went, didn’t it?
“It’s antique,” he whispers and brushes Kame’s hair gently.
It’s their own kingdom now, it feels. Their own sanctuary.
“We’re oddly romantic,” he whispers quietly and breathes in Kame’s carrot hair, feeling slightly lost as he stands by the shore with Kame wrapped warmly in his arms. “This is odd.”
Kame doesn’t answer. He doesn’t really speak anything around the pond. It feels unsettling.
They sit on the ground with Kame on his lap and throw little rocks in the water. Kame can make them bounce several times from the surface before they sink. Jin can’t. He doesn’t want to break the silence by asking, though.
It’s enough having Kame there safely on his lap.
--
After that Jin starts noticing little and subtle things about Kame. Things he isn’t sure are important, but he has a nagging worry he isn’t able to push away. It keeps nagging.
Kame takes some sort of medication. He’s always carrying a little pill case in his pocket and a watch around his left wrist. Kame succumbs to be under during sex way too often than Jin’s sure he should. The furthest he goes, Jin takes him on top of him but… that’s really it.
First he thinks Kame’s just lazy but it just… doesn’t feel like it. Kame doesn’t run to the bus when they’re about to miss it. When Jin and his buddies play football, Kame refuses to join in never mind the distantly yearning look. Once Jin gets him on the field, he doesn’t run. He seems uneasy but smiles nonetheless.
“Date me,” he demands one day after they've finished sipping tea and moved on to other nightly business in Kame’s room at his place. He’s painfully aware of Kame’s parents sleeping just two rooms ahead the corridor, but isn’t able to stop himself from advancing over Kame. “Date me, Kame.”
Kame sighs to the ministrations and caresses his neck gently. He kisses Jin’s lips before he winces and turns his head away, hissing slightly.
“No~”
“Good joke,” Jin chuckles and claims his lips again, rocking their hips together. “Say yes to me.”
“No.”
Kame seems uneasy. His eyebrows are knitted together and he lays a hand on Jin’s shoulder, narrow eyes meeting his. Jin feels him tensing under him, feels as his muscles contract. He groans, eyes fluttering slightly as he stops.
“Jin…”
“You mean it?” Jin mumbles with a hurt voice. “Okay. When?”
“I…” Kame tries and bites his lip, painfully hard and incoherent under him. “Jin, could we just finish first? Really.”
“I want an answer first,” Jin demands to know. “Is that a ‘never’?”
“Jin, come on,” Kame tries, tired eyes pleading. Jin catches the hand that tries to sneak between their bodies and Kame curses, tossing his head away again and trying to move his hips. Jin pulls out and makes Kame wail in discontentment and voice out a frail “No!”
Jin shivers and trembles, lying down next to Kame on the bed. Kame stares at him pleadingly as Jin holds both of his wrists firmly.
“Are you ill?” he asks the question with a strained and worried voice. He isn’t really able to tell Kame’s reaction for sure in the dimness of the night - he thinks Kame tenses and at least he tries to withdraw because Jin feels a soft yank from his wrists. Jin snuggles closer, ignoring both of their throbbing members. “…Kame?”
“Fuck. Fuck,” Kame swears and buries his face in the pillow. “Fuck. I have a heart disease, alright? Is that what you want to hear? Can you now just please..!”
“Is it bad?” Jin asks with a quiet voice. Kame bites his lip, eyes wildly open and darting around the room. Jin feels Kame’s breathing becoming faster and harsher. “Hey,” he gets concerned and pulls Kame close, rubbing the younger man’s back soothingly. “…You can tell me.”
“Congenital heart defect,” Kame blabbers. “I’ve had some surgeries and been on meds since I was a kid. It acts up every now and then. When I was kid they said I’ll probably make it to adulthood but… I’m an adult now. Now is a good period but no one knows if it’ll get bad again and it’s just really hard and I’m useless,” Kame whimpers. “Jin, please.”
Jin sighs and rolls over Kame again, kissing him gently on lips and neck as he slides in again, rocking his hips first gently but increasing speed with every thrust.
When they finish Jin collapses beside Kame again and turns Kame’s face towards him to peck his lips lovingly as they try to catch up their breaths before cleaning up after themselves and pulling their clothes back on.
Kame’s parents have a habit of waking him up after all, Kame has warned.
“…Date me?” Jin tries again, holding Kame’s hand concernedly. “It’s just dating.”
“It’s not ‘just dating’ if you insists so much,” Kame whimpers against his shoulder, breaths still heavy. “…Jin, I’m a fine lay. That’s it.”
“No,” Jin refuses. “I refuse to let you deny this from yourself because of your heart.”
“It’s selfish.”
“No,” Jin disagrees and shakes his head. “…It’s humane. It’s love.”
Kame stays silent. Jin sighs and wraps his arms around Kame.
“I won’t let you get away so easily,” he whispers in Kame’s ear. “I’ll hang around. And one day you will say yes to me. I’m certain you will.”
It’s the next morning when he strips his clothing to take a shower that he notes the black marker in his hip, forming the word ‘yes’. It’s a bit wobbly probably due to the writer not seeing properly in the dark, but…
It takes Jin all his might to shower first before jumping Kame and pulling him in the tightest hug he ever remembers granting to anyone.
--
Jin falls head over heels in love after that. It’s a slow yet sure process. Yamapi gets dumped by his crush and stops his momentary hobby while he moans about the girl, but Jin keeps driving to the ranch just to see Kame more and more and more again.
Within some months Kame leaves the safety of his home and they move together, ignoring the little hints everyone keeps giving them about things developing perhaps a bit too fast. Kame gets a job as a customer assistant in some local clothing shop he seems excited about. Life rolls slowly yet happily.
Jin’s certain Kame’s in love too.
Kame’s the type that radiates love in visible ways, Jin notes delightedly as he follows the young man’s presence in his house, walking around in boxer-briefs and a big t-shirt with a yoghurt in hand. It’s just something that shines in his eyes as he smiles at Jin or melts as they lie side by side, fingers entwined. It’s in his relaxed muscles and excited pulls towards the bedroom.
They have good years ahead of them. Good and pleasant years filled with love and happiness he thinks he never quite understood properly before Kame walked in his life with the demanding attitude of his.
Jin swears to god he’ll love it every single day of their lifetime.
--
They had pleasant years ahead of them. Jin can give that to Kame when he sits by the little pond, a horse eating grass somewhere at a distance.
Jin lays the music box in the ground and hears it play a soft little melody.
Pling pling pling pling pling…
He leaves the music box delicately on the ground and picks up a few flowers to accompany it. He doesn’t want it to get lonely after all.
Then he heads over to the misty forest on the other side of the pond and lets it swallow himself.
It’s a long time before the music box stops playing.