Let's Play Homestuck
<< | ^^ | >>
Act 4: Flight of the Paradox Clones
Part 9: Ectobiology Primer
Link back to comic: Page 1802
shit.
lets be
santa
New hands-free computer!
A kickass new outfit to rock all this new loot in!
And, of course, some new weapons.
A sane adventurer would throw these eldritch wands into the furthest ring and forget they ever existed, but you can handle them.
WELCOME TO THE PARTY MOTHERFUCKERS
Looks like Jade was having fun with your house while you were asleep.
Time to wake up and get to work making a bunch of ridiculous nonsense.
Future Dave had these, so pretty obvious choice. Portable computer get!
For more advanced computing, you have this bad boy!
It might have some sort of time powers, you're not really sure.
Sweet duds! They're snuggly like action pajamas.
This is the most unbelievably shitty sword you've ever seen.
Better.
It's RIDICULOUS what kind of air this thing is getting. Dude come get the ruler check this out.
Yeah, it's not coming back.
You now have a camera that can create ghost images of any object!
Useful for getting item codes.
Yeah.
So anyway, about those journals you stole the codes for from Rose.
The MEOW journal is just filled with the letters MEOW in random order for pages and pages.
The other journal is some sort of ridiculous story about wizards.
TG: whoa why are you burning your wizard fanfiction
TT: This book contains a genetic code.
TG: then why are you burning that
TT: The gods from the Furthest Ring asked me to.
TT: How did you know I wrote a story about wizards, anyway?
TG: john told me
TG: he was all snoopin around your room while you were asleep and i was like no man dont
TG: and i was like i dont even want to know this is such a crazy violation of privacy
TT: This story sounds suspicious.
TG: i thought you hated wizards
TT: What I don't like is my mother's obsession with feigning interest in them to antagonize me.
TG: oh man thats so messed up
TG: that you think that
TG: youre probably burning your nutjob meow book to spite her too arent you
TT: It's one of the gene sequences locked in my subconcious.
TT: The gods say it's critical to destroy it.
TG: when did they say that
TT: When I was asleep.
TT: When I flew to your tower, I heard them.
TT: They're far above, in the dark sky.
TT: Have you ever looked into the sky without your shades?
TG: no what a ridiculous question
TT: Maybe you should try it some time.
TT: You're the prince of the moon.
TT: I'm sure they've been meaning to seek a royal audience.
TG: i guess ill do that
TG: get some sky monsters to boss me around sounds cool
TG: so really why are you burning that
TG: you didnt burn that book in the future
TT: You appeared to make it relevant by traveling to the past.
TG: so does that mean the sleeping thing worked
TG: you remember the future
TT: I remember some things.
TG: so why is the cat code so terrible now
TT: I don't know.
TT: But the gods were pretty emphatic about it.
TT: Have you ever known them to be wrong?
TG: i guess not
TG: but they sort of freak me out
TG: i mean listening to gross space mutants all day isnt my idea of an awesome time
TG: are you talking to future me
TT: Yes.
TG: ok im out of the loop again
TG: between you taking orders from dream beasts and bird wing me with like
TG: future secrets
TG: im doing some sort of spectacular fucking jackknife off the loop and getting a wink and a nod from barack obana
TG: im coming upstairs
TT: Ok.
DAVE: so it was pretty funny how i made a copy of roses evil book right before she burned it and now she doesnt know about it
DAVE: the best thing about how i did that is how it in no way will ever come back to bite us in the ass ever
DAVESPRITE: dude our shit is SAFE
DAVESPRITE: gonna sleep pretty sound tonight
DAVESPRITE: with that big fucking payload of safety you just got dropped on us
DAVE: safer than some flintstone vitamins in a bottle
DAVE: keep twisting junior all you get is clicks
DAVESPRITE: asshole thinks its candy
DAVESPRITE: doesnt even know he just stepped on a security rake and got a face full of fucking safety
DAVE: yeah
DAVE: anyway guess ill go back down and burn that book
DAVESPRITE: alright
Someone stole the books. Looks like you tried to go back in time and stop him, and died.
Better cool it on the time travel for a while. The Dave corpses might start piling up.
You've got a terminal to play with!
You can switch between four views, and each is locked to a specific point in space and time.
The first window is locked onto an old lady being escorted by her son.
Before their eyes, a meteor strikes the Betty Crocker facility.
Pressing the button, you create a paradox ghost imprint of your own grandmother.
#4 is attached to this gentleman and his granddaughter.
You create a paradox ghost imprint of Jade's grandfather.
#3 follows a man investigating the meteor impact that just destroyed his favorite record shop.
You create a paradox imprint of Dave's bro.
On #2, a woman watches as a meteor sails towards an innocent joke shop.
You create a paradox imprint of Rose's mom.
Four young paradox clones are created.
Pushing the last button, the paradox DNA of Rose's mom and Dave's bro are mixed, as are the DNA of Jade's grandpa and your grandma.
Thusly are your own paradox clones created.
You ascend up the Echeladder to the lauded rank of Ectobiolobabysitter!
Having reached an even million Boondollars, they are all traded in for a solid Boonbuck.
Meanwhile, navigating the veil nearby...
NEXT CHAPTER: Descension.
<< | ^^ | >>