Let's Play Homestuck
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Act 3: Insane Corkscrew Haymakers
Part 2: Boy-Skylark
Link back to comic: Page 871
Enough of this bullshit. Let's get out of here.
[S] Dave: Abscond.
IT
KEEPS
HAPPENING
Well! This looks important.
This is the primary Skaianet terminal. Every circle on the map is a meteor impact.
The closer the color is to red, the closer the time of impact is. The bigger the circle, the bigger the impact.
This is where you are.
You'd better do something about this.
You can only find two larger impacts waiting to happen. One is in the midwest, and the other is way the hell out in the pacific ocean, and not hitting for a long time yet.
This can all wait a bit, you have to check on John!
There's some kind of commotion from up on the roof. You'd better...
[S] Ascend.
TT: Good work, John!
EB: oh, hey!
EB: you're back.
TT: For now. I'll have to leave again shortly.
TT: It looks like there's another large meteor headed for...
TT: My present location.
EB: oh, so you mean dave connected with you?
TT: Not yet.
TT: The countdown seems merely to exist as a kind of warning to the player.
EB: um, ok.
EB: is this relevant?
TT: Probably not at the moment. And certainly not to you.
TT: I have to go.
EB: ok, later!
TT: P.S. Try not to waste too much of that grist while I'm gone.
With your victory comes a number of levels up the Echeladder, to the rank of Boy-Skylark! Also, boondollars aplenty.
You wonder when you'll get to spend any of those.
Elsewhere, we find a place where a kingdom lies entrenched beyond an impenetrable veil of darkness.
Graveyard stuffers.
You are now...
...the Peregrine Mendicant.
Your mobile station is on its way west, with you inside.
More important, though, is all this mail.
The mail is the one final hope for resurrecting a dead planet from its ashes, and the letter carriers are the brave soldiers of God in this righteous crusade. They are the defenders of the light of knowledge, free communication, and the exchange of ideas. They are the bold toters of all those little papery conduits of freedom, the white postmarked angels that whisper a message on their deliverance, a promise to the yearning: "There is hope yet."
Liberty. Reason. Justice. Civility. Edification. Perfection.
MAIL.
Anyway! There's a girl on this monitor. She seems somehow familiar.
Establishing remote narration...
>Greetings.
>Don't I know you?
Uh.
You should probably get this shale, but...
Down that hole is your dad's room.
There's basically no way this won't be clown ground zero. You are filled with aprehension.
NO TIME LIKE THE PRESENT
Meanwhile, Jade enters the Grand Foyer.
Maybe you can get through here without an encounter with your grandpa?
and there he goes
the old man....
HASS the flame
Your attempt to leap past him is cut short by a sudden attack of the naps.
Let's go see what someone other than Jade is up to.
[S] PRELOADER FAKEOUT
He was so much easier to deal with when he was alive.
There's a lot of weird stuff in this lab.
You found a mutant kitten. And an arcade machine.
Except that this is no arcade machine. It's an appearifier, and it's locked onto Jaspers, when he was still alive!
Maybe you could... somehow...
No. That would cause a time paradox.
You create a paradox sludge imprint of Jaspers.
The device next to the appearifier sucks up the sludge, and uses it to create a Paradox Clone of Jaspers.
This thing is a doomed mutant. It's probably for the best that it'll get wiped out along with this entire lab in mere seconds.
Fast forwarding to now, Jaspers wasn't vaporized at all! That platform is some kind of escapalizer.
There are only ten seconds left on the clock!
NEXT TIME: Good dog.
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